Well, as much as I wrote of "clarifying moments," I did hold out hope that we could avoid some of that clarification.

We can't.

PJM has a big rundown of what was an "escalation towards war" and now is just plain old "war."

Maybe a world war, too, as Hezbollah wants to transfer the kidnap villains to Iran for safe keeping.

And Israeli "extremists" say they've kidnapped two Palestinians.

I guess I'm supposed to condemn that.

Nope.

Posted by: Ace at 09:07 AM | Comments (48)
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Saturday Night Live did something similar with Star Wars, 25 years after it was released.

That's how motherfuckin' huge these motherfuckin' snakes on this motherfuckin' plane is. They're already doing parodies before its release.

I can't hear the sound, but yls tells me it's funny. Walken, DeNiro. All the favorites.

Posted by: Ace at 08:58 AM | Comments (28)
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In the transcript linked by Allah, he calls himself "truly independent" and "fiercely independent," and also mentions his "independence," about 5,942 times.

By which I assume he means he can still go doodies by himself. Or at least with a minimum of supervision.

"Baggage:" He really said that "baggage" quote here. Goldstein built a sketch out of it, which seems pointless to me. The original line was hysterical. You can't gild a lilly.

Someone should ask him if he also has douchebaggage, and if that too comes from the school of journalism of South Vietnam.

Posted by: Ace at 08:54 AM | Comments (14)
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Whoops! I guess I didn't learn to read very well. It's not clear to me if Wizbang is being snide or not... I'm not sure if he's saying this was actually rehearsal for a scene involving fellatio or if he's saying this was genuine fellatio. Sometimes snark is hard to read through.

So, at appears, for the moment, this is just a scene from a movie.

Still pretty good.

Blowin' a dude (?). Nice.

With video, too, but video that lasts like three seconds, doesn't clearly show her as Lindsey Lohan, and doesn't even really show her doing the deed. Getting ready for the deed, yes. Kneeling down to kiss the deed, yes. Teasing the deed with her tongue, yes. But doing the deed? Sadly, no.

I apologize to any who may be offended by this post, but I'm sorry, this is pretty much a heterosexual must and decency and sensitivty just don't enter into it.

Thanks for entirely unrelated reasons to The Skinner Sphere. He had nothing to do with this post at all, wink wink.

Related: A "Phenomenal" Anti-Missile Test: Also nice.

Posted by: Ace at 08:24 AM | Comments (29)
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From: Karl "Ace of Spades" Rove

To: The Dextrosphere

Re: Your apparent mental retardation

Stop linking the foaming, insipid Glenn Greenwald. For the love of Satan, the man only needs to say "I like cock" and every one of you gibbering baboons feels compelled to immediately link his musings about cock and then refute, deconstruct, fisk, and satirize them. Providing lengthy citations for your objections to his self-pronounced cock-loving tendencies.

Without, apparently, ever bothering to ask your retarded selves a critical threshold question: Who the fuck cares what Glenn Greenwald thinks?

Not even Glenn Greenwald knows who the fuck who Glenn Greenwald is. The other day, he was buying some batteries at Radio Shack, and, per their procedures, they asked him his name. "I have no idea who I am," he's reported to have said. "I'm drawing a complete blank. Gun to my head, I couldn't tell you my name. Gerard? Gerry? Rrrr... Randy? Randy sounds close enough. Let's say Randy. So, just the batteries then. And the latest issue of Cock Weekly."

Are you all this fucking stupid? The little traffic whore he-bitch just wants you to drive thousands of readers to his site. He is simply going in almost precise order down the Truth Laid Bear Ecosystem, insulting you like a Tourette's case with anti-social tendencies, and you all immediately snap to and give him precisely what he wants.

If that's how all of you roll, then consider this an insult: You're all a bunch of fuck-witted fuck-headed fucking addlefucks.

Are you all serious with this weak shit? Did someone give you all a good beatdown with the moron-bat?

Yesterday I never heard of this little tosser, and today, it's all anyone's goddamned writing about.

"Oooh, did you read what Gleen Greenwald wrote?"

"Oh goody good gosh darn it, Glenn Greenwald just said something about me that I don't like one bit."

"Gee, I wonder if Glenn Greenwald likes Danny Elfman's movie scores or not. I think I'll write a 500 word post soliciting his opinion on this, and on Oingo Boingo generally."

Who give's a rat's wet ass? None of your readers care. Shit, none of his readers care. Why the hell do you?

Has the world gone mad? I feel like I've just been skull-fucked with a crazy-stick.

I swear to Satan All Mighty, if one of you drooling imbeciles so much as unbuckles your moron helmets to even think about responding to this no-talent no-account no-name nobody again, I'm going to send Dick Cheney after you wearing his Gimp outfit and a hunting vest.

I'm warning you. I am on my last nerve with this stupid shit.

Don't say a goddamned word to me,

Karl Rove

cc: Patterico; Q&O; Goldstein; Instapundit; Dan Riehl; Sister Toldjah

Posted by: Ace at 07:46 PM | Comments (126)
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Awwwww.

Congrats, Warden.

Posted by: Ace at 06:29 PM | Comments (71)
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Note: The NYT has changed the headline and, who knows, parts of the story I quote below. The headline and story are precisely as they were published when I posted them.

...

New York Times:

In Gaza, Right Target, but the Wrong People Die

Israeli intelligence identified the correct target, a three-story concrete house on the northern edge of Gaza City where top Hamas military men were holding a meeting, including Muhammad Deif, the head of the military wing, sought by Israel for more than a decade, and Raed Saad, his top aide.

But the top men of HamasÂ’s secretive military wing, who have held a captured Israeli soldier since June 25, escaped, although with apparently moderate injuries, even after another Israeli missile was fired on a car fleeing the scene.

Instead, the bombing killed nine members of the Salmiyeh family, a father, mother and seven of the coupleÂ’s 10 children, aged 7 to 18, who were on the upper floors of the house.

To hear the views of neighbors and onlookers, the attack was another example of wanton killing, of the Israeli disregard for Palestinian life.

AP:

Hamas Leader Badly Hurt in Israeli Bombing

A Hamas militant leader who has topped Israel's most-wanted list for a decade was badly wounded and underwent four hours of spinal surgery Wednesday after being wounded in an Israeli airstrike, security officials said.

The top fugitive, Mohammed Deif, could end up paralyzed, Palestinian security officials said on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss his condition. Wednesday's blast marked the army's fourth attempt to kill Deif, held responsible for suicide bombings in Israel. In a 2002 missile strike, he lost an eye.

At least 23 Palestinians were killed in Gaza on Wednesday. And an Israeli airstrike early Thursday destroyed the building housing the Hamas-controlled Palestinian Foreign Ministry.

Nine members of one family were killed in Wednesday's airstrike, with an Israeli F-16 warplane dropping a quarter-ton bomb on a home in a crowded Gaza City neighborhood. The strike was by far the deadliest in Israel's 15-day military campaign in Gaza, launched after Hamas-allied militants kidnapped an Israeli soldier.

Israel's air force targeted the two-story house of Nabil Abu Salmiyeh, a Hamas activist and university lecturer, after getting intelligence information that the leaders of Hamas' military wing, responsible for the abduction of the soldier, were meeting there. Palestinian security officials said seven or eight top Hamas officials were present.

The Times is working overtime to remain the most biased news source this side of the BBC, huh?

Posted by: Ace at 05:39 PM | Comments (43)
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Why does every "John Lennon" documentary, or tribute concert, or book, or compliation album controlled by Yoko Ono always seem to feature Yoko Ono 90% as much as John?

Tell me, Yoko-- as there is obviously such a great interest in Yoko-related material (Yokomania, if you will), why do you not just give us John Lennon material, with very little Yoko content, and then free-standing Yoko material?

It seems to me that, if the demand for Yokorobilia is as strong as you seem to think it is, wouldn't it make sense to divide the product lines up and double your money?

Just saying, Yoko.

Not that you care one whit about making more money off John Lennon's legacy. Oh, no. Ohhh, nooooo, Yoko.

Posted by: Ace at 04:48 PM | Comments (34)
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AoS Lifestyle (TM), Golden Years Edition:

An 80-year-old man acknowledged Wednesday that he dealt drugs at his house in return for sex with prostitutes.

...

When an Allegheny County judge asked Cocco why he chose a new profession so late in life, Cocco replied, "I was trying to stay alive, your honor -- pay my bills."

By which he means "whore bills."

Now here's an attorney who's earning her money. You've got some perverted alte kache dealing crack to pay for whores. He's caught red-handed. So what can you do?

Play the widower card, of course.

Cocco's lawyer, Martha Bailor, told the court her client wanted to remain sexually active after his wife died three years ago, and turned to prostitutes.

"He decided it's cheaper to pay for sex with crack than cash," she said.

He added his wife always told him, "If you should outlive me, it is my fondest wish that you remain sexually active by banging street-whores while dealing crack cocaine to pay them."

It's what Mavis would have wanted, you know.

Thanks to See-Dub.

Posted by: Ace at 03:57 PM | Comments (34)
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No, not really.

He was recently hospitalized for head trauma caused by falling from a coconut palm he was trying to climb. Or at least that was the original story.

Turns out the 'tree' was actually a short bush.

According to The Sun Richards, 62, said: "If you saw the tree, you would realise the joke. It certainly was not a coconut tree.

"Fiji has other trees, too. It was just a little tree. You wouldn't believe it if you saw it."

The Stones had to delay the European leg of their Bigger Bang world tour for Keith to undergo surgery.

He had to have his head drilled and fluid drained off.

I admire him for setting the record straight. But at the same time, there was something admirable about a 900 year old formaldehyde-soaked cadaver working up the gumption to climb a palm tree.

He should have stuck with the first story.

I Knew You Wouldn't Let Me Down Update:

fwiw, Keith's drained off brain fluid had a street value of $720 per 150ml

Posted by: LauraW. at 03:49 PM | Comments (26)
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