Awesome NPR story, worth a listen.

The principle introduced a "controversial" political philosophy, we're told: the idea that there should be academic standards for minorities, that they shouldn't be allowed to just learn "drumming" (as it's a scary-important part of their culture), and that discipline ought to be enforced.

His ditzy twenty year old snot nosed teachers don't like him, as they don't agree with imposing "fear and embarrassment" on unruly behavior or failure to do homework.

Of course, in five years, the middle school he runs went from being one of the worst to one of the best performing schools in the state, with scores on standardized tests rising from the low 400's to last year's 880.

Success is "controversial." Emphasis on discipline and high academic standards is "unconventional."

Liberals are "baffled."

Posted by: Ace at 06:06 AM | Comments (34)
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You've got until November 7th to pitch yourself as a "higher-quality man:"

DiMuro, a self-proclaimed 29-year-old virgin, says she wants to lose her virginity before her 30th birthday on Nov. 7, and she's enlisted Jane magazine to aid her in her quest to get busy, the New York Daily News reports.

"I'm a little bit anxious about all of this," DiMuro said. "I guess this is why my stomach hurts so much. I never went all the way before because I didn't feel right — I just didn't."

A 29 year old is saying "went all the way"? I haven't heard that since Fast Times At Ridgemont High.

Maybe that's why she remained a virgin. She thinks she has to have sex with Damone, and then they'll argue about who wanted it more.

No, don't say that.

Update: Her blog here, with a pic. She's okay. Kind of goofy-cute.

The following story is actually better, but I didn't know how to give it a headline:

Prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately did not want her to know he had packed a sexual aid [a penis pump] for their trip to Turkey.

So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.

Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.

...

Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted.

The cruel irony is that he may become a penis pump.

Posted by: Ace at 05:33 AM | Comments (95)
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Hope all their hookers had the clap:

E, Czech Republic - Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.

...

Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell — a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings — urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.

"It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called 'planet' under which the dwarf planets exist," she said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella.

Big funny.

...

Much-maligned Pluto doesn't make the grade under the new rules for a planet: "a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a ... nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit."

Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune's.

Instead, it will be reclassified in a new category of "dwarf planets," similar to what long have been termed "minor planets." The definition also lays out a third class of lesser objects that orbit the sun — "small solar system bodies," a term that will apply to numerous asteroids, comets and other natural satellites.

...

That plan proved highly unpopular, splitting astronomers into factions and triggering days of sometimes combative debate that led to Pluto's undoing.

Now, two of the objects that at one point were cruising toward possible full-fledged planethood will join Pluto as dwarfs: the asteroid Ceres, which was a planet in the 1800s before it got demoted, and 2003 UB313, an icy object slightly larger than Pluto whose discoverer, Michael Brown of the California Institute of Technology in Pasadena has nicknamed Xena.

Charon, the largest of Pluto's three moons, is no longer under consideration for any special designation.

I question the timing.

Well, Astronomical Union jerkweeds, you've made your ruling. Now let us see you enforce it.

Update: George Bush hates tiny planets.

Posted by: Ace at 04:59 AM | Comments (60)
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I doubt it. They don't have the firepower and if they can't stomach a fight against Hezballah, how can they be seriously thinking about taking on Iran?

It's nice to think that we can get some tiny beseiged country to do our work for us, but this sounds like more bluster.

Israel is carefully watching the world's reaction to Iran's continued refusal to suspend uranium enrichment, with some high-level officials arguing it is now clear that when it comes to stopping Iran, Israel "may have to go it alone," The Jerusalem Post has learned.

One senior source said on Tuesday that Iran "flipped the world the bird" by not responding positively to the Western incentive plan to stop uranium enrichment. He expressed frustration that the Russians and Chinese were already saying that Iran's offer of a "new formula" and willingness to enter "serious negotiations" was an opening to keep on talking.

"The Iranians know the world will do nothing," he said. "This is similar to the world's attempts to appease Hitler in the 1930s - they are trying to feed the beast."

He said there was a need to understand that "when push comes to shove," Israel would have to be prepared to "slow down" the Iranian nuclear threat by itself.

Having said this, he did not rule out the possibility of US military action, but said that if this were to take place, it would probably not occur until the spring or summer of 2008, a few months before President George W. Bush leaves the international stage.

Thanks to Jack Straw.

Posted by: Ace at 04:49 AM | Comments (24)
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Heh:

What are some of your personal favorite movies?

BORAT: My favourites movies is Robot Cop. Womanman Doubtfire, Little Lord Fontelroy, Transsibierskiy Ekspress 2, Gerald McGuire and sex comedy The Accused.

Who are your favorite male and female movie stars and why?\

I very much like Kazakh film hero Viktor Hotelier (you probably know him from blockbusters movie Almaty Summer). I also very much like the new James Bond, Roger Moore. I like female cartoon Kazakh superbhero by name ''Astounding Woman.'' She have amazing strength that she use to pull a full-sized plough for up to 42 hours without food or water.

h/t yls.

Posted by: Ace at 02:21 PM | Comments (41)
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Just wanted to know that I had not blogged up a storm and then decided to coast after taking all your money from you.

No, this is desperation time as regards finding a new hovel. Well, not desperation, but I'm wigged out, and sick of looking at places, and just thinking right now a cardboard box doesn't sound half bad. That's why I disappear every night.

And today... well, today I wasn't out apartment hunting. I was just up way too early (for me, and considering I ddin't knock off till 3 am) because the damn blinds were wide open and a gorgeous shaft of brilliant morning sunlight stabbed me right in the fucking eyes and photon-fucked my brain.

So I compensated by drinking a lot of coffee and iced tea, and then got too jittery to even think clearly.

It's a good thing I don't like drugs. I've got the perfect mentality for a hardcore addict. Take more -- much, much more! It'll make you feel better if you just take some more!

So, just to let you know, no, I'm not really taking a break from blogging voluntarily. Just trying to keep myself off the street.

Question: What's the politest way to say, "No, to be perfectly honest, I could not possibly give a shit less what the fucking basement looks like"?

Hmm. Let me guess. A lot of concrete and crossbeams and frigging beat-to-shit bicycles that got put into storage in 1992. Oh, look, a Huffy. I haven't seen one of those since we were all pretending George Michaels dug on pooter.

Oh, and look-- waterbugs. Do I pay extra, or are they included with heat and hot water?

Posted by: Ace at 01:00 PM | Comments (46)
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An adult man loses his ish upon finding out pro wresting is -- get this! -- fake.

As even Dave himself admits, it's old. Very, very old.

Also, sadly, Dave seems to be single again.

He doesn't really sell himself as a "high-quality man," but I guess even self-delusion has its limits.

Thanks to the BumberStickerist.

Posted by: Ace at 12:54 PM | Comments (30)
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Or so says an ARG poll.

The Republican, whoever he might be, may have to drop out.

Posted by: Ace at 12:34 PM | Comments (21)
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Site's title:

Wikipedia - Unbiased Encyclopedia or a 'Jewish Tool'

Hint: Answer A is usually the "Joe Bloggs answer."

More: Seems like I missed the whole point. The Jews are behind everything, from Jack the Ripper to, um, Hezballah itself.

Posted by: Ace at 11:08 AM | Comments (20)
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Four tribes of whites, blacks, Hispanics, and Lenny Kravitz.

I mean Asians. But not the scary explosive kind. The less-scary kung-fu kind.

Wow.

I do not think this is a very good idea at all.

I thought The Apprentice's dividing teams into college and non-college graduates was a bit too edgy, dividing people up by class. (Well, educational class, which is a loose proxy for class generally.)

Then again, who knows, maybe I'm just a big wussy. I don't think people should be divided into tribes, I think they should be united into a community of mutual respect and helping and sharing and all that homo shit.

Next season on Survivor: Christians, Druze, Jews, and Muslims square off in Survivor: Beirut.

Oh, wait, no, that's just the news.

Posted by: Ace at 11:04 AM | Comments (55)
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