August 24, 2006

Very Bad News: Centanni/Wiig Abductors Seem To Be Al Qaeda Franchise
— Ace

My Pet Jawa lays out the case they are an offshoot of Zarqawi's Al Qaeda in Iraq.

It sounds strange, but Rusty is rooting for Hamas to find the men before it's too late.

Posted by: Ace at 11:43 AM | Comments (11)
Post contains 56 words, total size 1 kb.

Penis Pump Guy: I Said "Pump," Not "Bomb"
Security Guard: No, You Clearly Said "Bomb"

— Ace

A judge has ruled there is sufficient evidence to go forward with charges.

Apparently, he said "bomb" twice.

This is fun:

"Come on -- what do you think?" said Amin, who lives in Skokie and works for a janitorial service.

Amin may not want his mother to know he has a penis pump, but he said he doesn't consider it an unusual device to own.

"It's normal," he said. "Half of America they use it."

Ahem. I don't know about "half." I don't know about 1%, for that matter.

But it's nice to see this Asian fellow embracing the American Spirit, at least by way of the Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM).

Posted by: Ace at 11:40 AM | Comments (30)
Post contains 142 words, total size 1 kb.

Megadeth Targets UN In New Album "United Abominations"
— Ace

Don't shut up and sing:

Heavy metal maven Dave Mustaine is so angry with the United Nations that he is naming his group Megadeth's next album "United Abominations."

"I was watching TV and saw the trucks that said 'UN' on them and said, 'Man, you are so uncool, ineffective, anything," the singer/guitarist said in a recent Billboard interview.

"I thought, 'Wow, I've got to run with this. I got it -- United Abominations, 'cause it's an abomination what they're doing!"

Thanks to CraigC.

Posted by: Ace at 11:24 AM | Comments (31)
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

Hokay
— Ace

Everyone -- including my dear own crack-addled Mom -- is sending the tip that if you type "failure" into a Google search it comes up with the top search result of George W. Bush.

This has been the case for years. Actually, the previous term that brought it up was "miserable failure," but now I guess they've succeeded in getting it to the point where just "failure" does the trick.

Snopes explains this is "Google-bombing." Basically lefties deliberately search for the world "failure" all day long, then choose George Bush on the list of search items found. Google's software "learns" that these two terms are "related," and as these idiots keep furiously clicking instead of, you know, working at a job or at least watching porn, the association between "George Bush" and "failure" becomes stronger in the Google search software until it eventually gets to the top of the list.

We could do this too. We could search for "drunken bear-thing" and then click on the result "John Kerry" result (which, coincidentally, just happens to be on my site). If we did this enough, Google would "learn" that John Kerry is a drunken bear-thing.

But we have better things to do, like work, and porn.

So: I'm posting this because people keep sending it. It's pretty old, and it's not really Google's fault.

Except, I guess, if we did make John Kerry the number one search term for "Drunken Bear-Thing" or "Shaved Bigfoot," Google would actually intervene and change its software to prevent this association. Which of course they won't do with Bush and failure.

As Google says:

Craig Silverstein, Google's director for technology, says the company sees nothing wrong with the public using its search engine this way. No user is hurt, he said, because there is no clearly legitimate site for "miserable failure" being pushed aside.

Moreover, he said, Google's results were taking stock of the range of opinions that are expressed online. "We just reflect the opinion on the Web,'' he said, "for better or worse."

Again, I have a feeling that they'd be more bothered if Hillary Clinton became the top search term for "cankled whore."

Posted by: Ace at 11:15 AM | Comments (30)
Post contains 362 words, total size 2 kb.

Superhero Supply Store
— Ace

Huh?

From writer David Eggers, author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which sounds funny, but it's more than 200 pages long, so I never bothered.

I did read the title. Outstanding.

Posted by: Ace at 10:08 AM | Comments (15)
Post contains 39 words, total size 1 kb.

Turning Up The Heat On The Secret-Hold Senator
— Ace

It may be time to turn the heat up on Bill Frist. He didn't place the hold (most likely), but the way this works is that the Senator seeking the secret hold informs the leader (I assume that's Frist) who then announces a secret hold is in effect.

Leak it.

And more of this, too.

The [Coburn-Obama earmark daylight bill] had been unanimously passed in a voice vote last month by the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee. It was on the fast track for floor action before Congress recessed Aug. 4 when someone put a hold on the measure....

The secret hold has prompted conservative and liberal government watchdog groups to band together to "smoke out" the senator responsible.

Porkbusters.org, for example, posted photographs of all senatorial suspects underneath a bold-faced headline asking, "Who is the Secret Holder?"

It remains unclear if the senator responsible will be able to withstand the pressure from the broad array of groups and senators supporting the bill.

"It really is a mystery, not only who did it, but what the rationale could possibly be and why they would go to the mat on this," said Ellen Miller, executive director of the Sunlight Foundation, a new Washington-based nonprofit devoted to helping the public understand Congress through the Internet. "There is no conceivable, rational explanation for killing this legislation unless they have something to hide."

The secret hold Senator presumably was there for the voice vote, and voted in favor of it-- when he was on the record.

When he's not on the record, and can operate secretly, he places a hold on it.

Now, that's a deliberate attempt to lie to his constiuents and the American people at large, isn't it?

He'd better get right with the Lord quick before this shoddy lie is exposed.

Posted by: Ace at 10:04 AM | Comments (38)
Post contains 314 words, total size 2 kb.

Brilliant: All Your Fakes Are Now Belong To Us
— Ace

Thanks to CraigC, via the Corner Michelle Malkin, who has a huge post on media fakery.

Prominently cited is Zombietime, who destroys the "Israelis Bombed Red Cross Ambulances" fake story, referenced in the video.

It should be noted that Zombie's post mostly builds on Dan Riehl's previous demolition of the fake story.

Update: The video seems to have been done by a My Pet Jawa reader. Hence the Jawa mocking Mr. Green Helmet.

He's got another fake story peddled by jihadis: Pepsi Cola used to murder Iraqi shock troops.

Pepsi? Nah.

Fanta... possibly.

Posted by: Ace at 09:09 AM | Comments (25)
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.

Iran Promises "Surprise" Regarding Nuke Program In Next Several Days
— Ace

As Allah says, don't we all love surprises?

I don't think there's going to be much surprise in the surprise, unfortunately.

Maybe this has something to do with something?

The Iranian news service Al-Borz, which is known to have access to sources in the Iranian government, predicted that on the first anniversary of Iranian President Ahmadinejad's government, in late August 2006, Ahmadinejad is expected to announce what the news service called Iran's "nuclear birth."

In addition, an August 23, 2006 article about Iran's reply to the incentives proposal, that was posted on the Iranian Foreign Ministry-affiliated website www.tehrantimes.com , implied that Iran's nuclear technology had already reached the point of no return: "... If the West is seeking to impede Iran's nuclear industry, it should realize that Iran has passed this stage."

Two thousand zero six, party over, oops, out of time.

Bia RocketsBrainTrust.

Posted by: Ace at 08:34 AM | Comments (68)
Post contains 164 words, total size 1 kb.

Strange And Creepy Vintage Ads
— Ace

Some good stuff here.

"Vibra-Finger" -- it's not what you think. Or, actually, it probably is, but it's not sold that way.

"Smoking Is Believing!" Mentions summer as the season of "extra smoking." In a good way.

This one's just wrong on multiple levels, and actually may Not be Safe For Work. Hmmm... minstrel-show type racism, and a baffling Nazi reference, a glory hole, and bestiality/forcible sodomy from a goose.

Not sure what they're selling here, but they've really tickled my Buyer's Button.

Thanks to JohnS. No, not that one. The other JohnS.

Related Parody: A "1940's social education film" entitled "Women: Know Your Limits."

Thanks to CraigC.

Update: Lysol advertised as a, err, feminine hygine product.

It kills virtually everything it touches, but it will not harm your "delicate tissues."

Thanks to John DDG.

Posted by: Ace at 07:50 AM | Comments (30)
Post contains 145 words, total size 1 kb.

Bus Driver Orders Black Kids To Give Seats Up For White Kids
— Ace

Nine black kids were ordered to take the last seats in the bus, which only sat two, so younger kids had to sit on older kids laps.

I think she's getting a raw deal. Everyone knows that the back of the bus is the coolest place to sit, and that only geeks and freaks sit up front, so she was really just giving the black kids the best part of the bus, and...

Umm.

Okay, I'll give them this one. There may be actual racism going on here.

Although, of course, once again there is the overreaction. Not only should this bus driver be fired, critics say -- which is fine and dandy -- but that the entire school disctrict must be examined for racism.

Because one racist nitwit did this one thing? How does that reflect on the entire district?

Posted by: Ace at 06:39 AM | Comments (333)
Post contains 165 words, total size 1 kb.

<< Page 13 >>
78kb generated in CPU 0.0924, elapsed 0.333 seconds.
44 queries taking 0.3024 seconds, 151 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.