What burnt out, half-comatose Rolling Stones guitarist recently mumbled the following?

"...(For just one dollar a day...) Help save the life of a child, a mother, a father, a family "our human family" our first family.

I don't think there's any music in the west, even the most banal pop song, that doesn't owe something to the blues somewhere down the line, and it all comes from African music, which is why it is so exciting.

There's something primal about it which we all recognize, because we're all Africans. Some of us just left and turned white!"

No Googling!

Posted by: John From WuzzaDem at 10:32 PM | Comments (20)
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Focus group enjoying a screening of NBC's The Real Wedding Crashers.

Holy crap:

NBC announced its new show, "The Real Wedding Crashers," inspired by the movie. Ashton Kutcher will serve as one of the show's executive producers.

The show will feature hidden cameras that will record improvisational actors who go undercover at real weddings to bring an added element of surprise to the traditional proceedings.

"Everyone loved 'Wedding Crashers' and we wanted to see if we could capture that same kind of inspired frivolity in a real-life series," Craig Plestis, Senior Vice President of Alternative Programs and Development at NBC, said...This series has a big upside potential for hidden-camera humor."

Huuuuge potential. I think I speak for fathers-in-law everywhere when I say...actually, I'm not a father-in-law, so I guess I don't speak for them. Wait a second, that's BS - it's not like you need some kind of advanced degree to be a father-in-law, right? I mean, what are the requirements?

Have sex with your wife: Check
Have a kid: Check
Wait for said kid to marry.

OK, so I've completed 2 of 3 - good enough, if you ask me. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, the asswipes at NBC making a Wedding Crashers reality show.

So, I think I speak for fathers-in-law everywhere (or not) when I say, why not combine elements of Wedding Crashers and Jackass? Think about it: Most weddings don't have nearly enough uninvited juvenile, masochistic exhibitionists pulling wacky stunts like wiping their asses with the bride's bouquet or swan-diving into the cake from a twenty-foot ladder. Just sayin'.

But is there really a market for yet another reality show? Maybe:

"There's hasn't been a truly good hidden-camera show on network TV... since (NBC's) 'Spy TV'"...

Oh yeah...Spy TV. Who could forget...what was that show called again? I think it was Spy...whatever.

Well, if nothing else, now I have a reason to link to Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn In 'Funeral Crashers'.

Super-special "Punk'd" update: CNNÂ’s Kyra Phillips makes her bosses look like morons by leaving her mic on while she sits on the can and talks smack about her sister-in-law.

Posted by: John From WuzzaDem at 09:35 PM | Comments (34)
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Bobby Jindal eviscerates the corruption and waste that characterizes the Katrina clean up effort ...

That type of waste is the result of government paying $175 per square for tarps to cover broken roofs, while the contractor repairing the roof is paid $5 a square for the work — $170 dollars per square lost in the layers of subcontracting for “management” fees. Even more telling, other local companies have told the government that they could replace the damaged roofs permanently for the same price we are spending on band-aid fixes.

Posted by: Ace at 09:03 PM | Comments (30)
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On some pretty funny and interesting pieces that Ace intended to publish tonight for your amusement.

Let's see...there was a hilarious top-ten list. And a pretty funny photoshop from Wuzzadem which Ace had captioned. And there was even a visit from Johnny Coldcuts, in which he was going to predict (with 100% accuracy) the outcome of the highly contested Senate races this fall.

Finally, there was some of Allah's "too hot for Hot Air" footage of Mary Katharine and Bethany that will, because of my hold, remain unseen until the "Pundits Gone Wild" video is released.

I had to do this, my friends. As guest posters, we have a rather low hurdle to meet to keep up with Ace's standards. The moment he applies himself and actually produces some quality stuff is the moment we might actually have to break a sweat.

No...it's far better for all of us that the standards here remain low. It makes it easier on everyone involved.

Besides...I don't want to share my "Mary Katharine and Bethany" footage. The thought of all you pasty, D&D playing, shut-in geeks leering at my lovely ladies just...sickens me.

So, just put all thoughts of seeing these posts out of your mind. Because once I put a hold on something, I never lift it.

Unless, of course, Mary Katharine or Bethany asks me really sweetly. In which case, I might reconsider.

Posted by: Ace at 08:47 PM | Comments (16)
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See, Innocent Bystanders is the place where all the intellectuals in the comments like to hang out. A place where people use words like "Turgenev." As opposed to you cretins, who laugh-snort at trashy nomenclature like [shudder] "pooter."

I don't even know what that it, but is sure sounds opprobrious.

Posted by: Ace at 08:41 PM | Comments (24)
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Sean Penn pours even more water into flooded New Orleans,
because he just hates black people

Phin, blogging at Agent Bedhead, did me a favor by fixing mysitemeter and adding the Digg button to my template, so I decided to return the favor by ripping off one of their posts.

I guess I could link Phin's post about Jessica Simpson asking to kiss Britney Spears' tummy, but I'm not sure I'm really into either one of them anymore, even if they're kissing. Or almost kissing.

So I'll link this sneak-preview of Lindsey Lohan's upcoming perfume.

And I'm sure no one would be interested in seeing Pamela of Atlas Shrugs, cavorting in a bikini, to the tune of My Milkshake.

And I'm not sure how old Charlotte Church is, but assuming she's of age, I'm pretty sure I'd hit it, and I don't think I'd be too put off by the babyfat.

Does that make me a bad person?

Posted by: Ace at 02:55 PM | Comments (76)
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Three remain, supposedly: Crapo, Judd Gregg, and most people's second or third favorite jagoff, Ted Stevens (R-Bridge To Nowhere, former Governor of Tubes).

Maybe I'm just grousing that my guy, Byrd, is supposedly "in the clear."

Again, I'm not sure if all of these denials offered by spokewomen should be taken as dispositive. I don't think a Senator would lie abut this -- not because he's a paragon of virtue, but because it would be so politically damaging -- but it's a relatively easy thing to tell a spokeswoman to say "No" and then later claim, if necessary, "Oh, I guess I misunderstood."

If this all is good information, and the culprit is all but exposed, it's a major coup for the blogosphere -- and for TPMmuckraker's Paul Kiel, specifically, who's done, as far as I can tell, the most persistent, dogged, and prosecutor-like work on this.

If he gets his man, he'll get great props and press coverage, which he deserves.

I'll go back to calling him a douchebag next week.

But this week, he gets a pass.

What if all 100 are "cleared"? I think there's a chance that could happen.

It occurred to me that someone on the Secret Hold Senator's staff could deliver a "tip" to TPMm, under an alias, saying, "Oh, I talked to him, he says no." Thus getting the Senator in the clear, and yet the Senator himself would never have lied. And one couldn't necessarily prove where this tip had come from.

I assume Paul is smart enough to only be taking tips from known, trusted readers.

(That's the difference between them and us-- we assume they're smart, at least until proven otherwise; they assume we're stupid.)

However, I still think it's possible that someone's spokesman has "misspoken" and gotten someone on the cleared list who shouldn't be.

Well, what then?

No problem. Then it's an even bigger story, because now we have a Senator or his office proveably lying. This time, we get all the Senators themselves on the phone, on the record, no wiggle room, no insulation, no plausible deniability.

Even if this first whack at the Secret Hold Senator turns up bust -- which it might -- the groundwork has been laid for a pretty damn swift second pass.

More Press: Professional imbecile Jack Cafferty just noted the massive effort to uncover the Secret Hold Senator on CNN, crediting the movement as being led by the "right side of the blogosphere."

Led? Well, yeah. Started by. Instapundit, Truth Laid Bear, etc., have been huge, huge promoters of the effort.

However, in fairness, it's Paul Kiel of the leftwing TPMmuckraker who has been getting the most denials from Senators (or their spokeswomen, at least). He picked up the torch when around 30 had been eliminated and has managed, at last count, to eliminate (or at least "eliminate") 67, to a total of 97.

So-- "led," yes. But the actual roll-up-your-shirtsleeves-and-get-to-dialing work has been done by TPMmuckraker and, of course, his lunatic (though loveably so, I'm sure) readers.

Thanks to Larwyn for the tip. I'd call it "unconfirmed," but at this point, any tip from Larwyn is self-confirming.

Posted by: Ace at 02:19 PM | Comments (24)
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Nice. Why don't you have your own blog, smart-guy?

Powerline quotes Uncle Jefe's observations that the first footage of the hit press van showed a dark armored vehicle, and not the white vehicle now being represented as the truck.

One photo shows a cracked windshield; a later photo shows a windshield that looks intact.

So... I don't know. I still think the right attitude is skepticism. Then again, I didn't see the footage Uncle Jefe saw.

Either way, it's pretty cool that Uncle Jefe got his own personal Powerlanche.

PS: I've alerted Allah to the dark/light vehicle color discrepancy. I know those guys record a lot of news; I don't know how long they keep the recordings.

If they have the footage, I'm sure they'll have it up.

He Already Did: Allah already posted FoxNews' coverage of this.

I don't know if this is the footage Uncle Jefe means, but here the vehicle is white and looks like the same van we've seen in later photos.

Allah... says he has a photo he's about to put up showing the windshield cracked in later photos. The windshield may just appear uncracked due to the glancing sunlight.

HotAir will have it in a moment.

Okay... This photo shows a cracked windshield.

But...

To me, that windshield looks straight up-and-down, suggesting the rear of the vehicle, whereas the front windshield in the Powerline pics is plainly angled at about 30 degrees.

Allah thinks it's angled, it just doesn't look that way. The writing over the windshield matches perfectly to the writing shown in the Powerline pics, and the damage seen in the interior of the car, in the roof above the passenger seat, seems to match as well.

It could just be a bad angle, I suppose.

Update: Allah points out the position of the roof-rack from the windshield-- which seems to show the windshield in his photo is in the front of the van. So it looks like he was right.

Either way, unless there's some other FoxNews coverage out there, it does look like the van was white from the first time it was photographed.

Update: I put in a request to the woman who booked me for an interview to get a copy of Fox's earliest footage of the struck press van.

Posted by: Ace at 01:57 PM | Comments (13)
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On that Gene Simmons reality show, his son, speaking of his father's prowess as a salesman or, rather, huckster/carnival barker:

"Dad could sell whores in a vagina-storm."

Posted by: Ace at 11:25 AM | Comments (32)
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Must read piece in the Washington Times.

War is inevitable, and a nuclear war is almost inevitable.

I know a lot of people consider that a fanciful or alarmist idea, but it's coming.

The fact that it hasn't happened before doesn't mean it won't happen in the future. Iran's psychopathic leadership considers it its national mission to destroy Israel and then, to the extent it can, cripple the Great Satan.

And, of course, nuclear war has happened before, way back in 1945.

Why so many are unwilling to conceive this as a genuine possibility is understandable -- something too horrible to imagine cannot be imagined -- but it's time to put aside such psychological defense mechanisms and confront the world as it actually is.

Posted by: Ace at 10:46 AM | Comments (87)
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