Ace of Spades HQ

November 06, 2011

Caption Contest
— rdbrewer

This is the perfect YouTube video. Look at all the elements. It has everything.

"Hold my beer, gramma. I feel some moves coming on."

Posted by: rdbrewer at 10:08 AM | Comments (236)
Post contains 28 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What a bunch of stupid losers.

Posted by: The Dog at November 06, 2011 10:12 AM (GULKT)

2 "Baby come back!"

Posted by: The Mop at November 06, 2011 10:14 AM (jucos)

3 I knew a girl who did sword dancing back in the 80s. She apparently gave it up along with any other form of good exercise because the last time I saw her she'd put on about a hundred pounds. Sad.

Posted by: epobirs at November 06, 2011 10:14 AM (kcfmt)

4 Why does this make me think of Ross and Monica Geller on New Year's Eve?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at November 06, 2011 10:15 AM (a5ljo)

West Side Story

Ur doin it rong

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 10:16 AM (r7wYd)

6 "Don't bring a butterfly knife to a sword dance, son."

Posted by: epobirs at November 06, 2011 10:16 AM (kcfmt)

7 was waiting for Granny to get up, do cartwheel, and join in....

Posted by: Frank G at November 06, 2011 10:17 AM (1rPxL)

8 You'll put your eye out!

Posted by: Ralphie's Mom at November 06, 2011 10:17 AM (2PTT7)

9 Link is broken for me.

Posted by: Boone at November 06, 2011 10:17 AM (Jl3Mu)

10 "... while granny thinks about getting her nunchucks and showing those kids a thing or two."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:18 AM (7EnKU)

11 I thought there was going to be blood and screaming. I wan my 1:16 back.

Posted by: Jprs at November 06, 2011 10:19 AM (DGnMA)

12 "Can you spot the ghost?"

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:19 AM (7EnKU)

13 "As Jesus watches from the doorway."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:20 AM (7EnKU)

14 She almost takes his leg out at one point.
Best of all if rover had moved a bit closer she would have stabbed it.
Ain't no big thing to swing a Jian or Balisong. Bit harder when the killing starts.

The real question is, why wasn't there a photo of Perry deep throating a Salami?

Posted by: Blackwhirlwind at November 06, 2011 10:20 AM (G6kli)

15 Boone, what link?

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:20 AM (7EnKU)

16 Allow me to be the first to say "WTF?".

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 10:20 AM (kvZF2)

17 "Why I ran away"

Posted by: The Dog at November 06, 2011 10:21 AM (JYheX)

18 Napoleon Dynamite with a sword.

Posted by: true_texan at November 06, 2011 10:21 AM (tlqDz)

19 Blackwhirlwind, right at 22 seconds is the really dangerous move. The sword is longer than her arm, and she nearly puts her own eye out.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:22 AM (7EnKU)

20 heh, I was thinking more of Napoleon Firecracker.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 06, 2011 10:23 AM (JYheX)

21 Lame.

Also scary that that Jack Russell terrier is even chunkier than my mom's.

Posted by: logprof at November 06, 2011 10:23 AM (QaKuj)

22 Hey, are you into sword dancing?

Posted by: Herman Cain at November 06, 2011 10:24 AM (2jQGY)

23 I'd hit it with my own sword.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 10:24 AM (kvZF2)

24 Oh, that's not Jesus on the door. It's Huckleberry Finn.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:24 AM (7EnKU)

25 Lame!? It's genius. I think David Lynch directed it.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:24 AM (7EnKU)

26 That dog is very wide. Almost "wide dog" sized.

Posted by: CAC at November 06, 2011 10:25 AM (JEVge)

27 It's so bizarre I keep watching it. What's the music?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 10:26 AM (kvZF2)

28 China is here, gramma Burton

Posted by: KirkCameronLeftMeBehind at November 06, 2011 10:28 AM (iZ6fL)

29 ".. as Mr. Freeze forced them to dance with the power of psychokinesis."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:28 AM (7EnKU)

30 Weekend at Bernie's II

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:30 AM (7EnKU)

31 Actually, one of the video suggestions that popped up after the sword dancing video is even weirder.

http://tinyurl.com/64pduve (VERY NSFW AND VERY WEIRD)

(please don't ban me)

Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 10:31 AM (s7mIC)

32 Thank God Grandma is blind.

Posted by: Marie at November 06, 2011 10:31 AM (P9OJs)

33 god

daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn

Posted by: Sortelli at November 06, 2011 10:33 AM (Txy9f)

34 What I want to know is, what the hell was rdbrewer looking for when he came up with that?

Posted by: cthulhu at November 06, 2011 10:33 AM (kaalw)

35 It's so bizarre I keep watching it. What's the music?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 02:26 PM (kvZF2)

It sounds like eurotrash techno. At first I thought this was filmed in Lithuania or some shit but it seems to be from somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon. I think.

I'm still not sure.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 10:33 AM (r7wYd)

36 Thank God Grandma is blind.

Posted by: Marie at November 06, 2011 02:31 PM (P9OJs)

And drunk.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 10:34 AM (r7wYd)

It sounds like eurotrash techno. At first I thought this was filmed in Lithuania or some shit but it seems to be from somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon. I think.

I'm still not sure.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 02:33 PM (r7wYd)

--The dog and the grocery/trash bag hanging from the doorknob should be dead giveaways, even if the faux velvet painting was not.

Posted by: logprof at November 06, 2011 10:35 AM (QaKuj)

38 What I want to know is, what the hell was rdbrewer looking for when he came up with that? Posted by: cthulhu at November 06, 2011 02:33 PM

Heh. I was watching RedEye.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:37 AM (7EnKU)

39 Would've been better in dubstep.

Posted by: CAC at November 06, 2011 10:37 AM (JEVge)

40 It's a Mormon rave.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:39 AM (7EnKU)

41 @36 Probably Jason Kottle's site http://kottke.org/

Posted by: AndrewL at November 06, 2011 10:40 AM (TYbti)

42 33 Actually, one of the video suggestions that popped up after the sword dancing video is even weirder.

http://tinyurl.com/64pduve (VERY NSFW AND VERY WEIRD)

(please don't ban me)

Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 02:31 PM (s7mIC)

I thought that some of the metaphysical imagery was really particularly effective. Interesting rhythmic devices too, which seemed to counterpoint the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the humanity of the dancers' compassionate soul -- which contrives through the medium of the dance structure to sublimate this, transcend that, and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other, and one is left with a profound and vivid insight into ... into ... er ... whatever it was that the dance was about.

Posted by: cthulhu at November 06, 2011 10:41 AM (kaalw)

43 Hey, Olympics. This is better than synchronized swimming.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:42 AM (7EnKU)

44 Ah, the song's linked if you go the actual yootoob page.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 10:42 AM (kvZF2)

45 Hey, Olympics. This is better than synchronized swimming.

That pole dancer featured on the ONT has this beat, though.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 10:43 AM (kvZF2)

46 I love the dog.

Posted by: My Sharia Moor at November 06, 2011 10:44 AM (KZi9D)

47 "Her's" is bigger than "his" ....

Posted by: Arbalest at November 06, 2011 10:45 AM (cE/Gu)

48 "My Sharia Moor." What a great name.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:47 AM (7EnKU)

49 I like to bust some moves like that from time to time.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:49 AM (7EnKU)

50 Best YouTube video ever? Has everything? Remind me never to trust your judgment ever, rdbrewer.

Posted by: Random at November 06, 2011 10:50 AM (YiE0S)

51 Sorry, I'm still laughing after seeing Birdemic: ST, dang she does look nonchalant doing it. The fat dog, her eye and his leg almost became casualties.

"Did anyone check Granny's pulse?"

Posted by: auscolpyr at November 06, 2011 10:50 AM (8HSZ0)

52 "Gramma, here's your brewski."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:50 AM (7EnKU)

53 I thought for sure something was going to happen with Chekov's mop.

Posted by: SarahW at November 06, 2011 10:51 AM (OoFwu)

54 This is a typical afternoon at the Norman Bates residence.

P.S., don't bug Grandma. She's, uh, sleeping.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 06, 2011 10:54 AM (QKKT0)

55 It's an outrage that grandma makes Fluffy the dog sleep in that little doghouse to her left. It's almost as bad as Colonel Saunder's executing chickens for profit.

Posted by: PETA Nutjob & Liberal Prosthelytizer at November 06, 2011 02:47 PM (Lt/Za)

Or Del Monte trafficking in Baby Vegetables.

Posted by: People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables at November 06, 2011 10:54 AM (jucos)

56 like to bust some moves like that from time to time. Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 02:49 PM Her moves were terrible. And useless. Am seriously losing respect for your judgment.

Posted by: Random at November 06, 2011 10:55 AM (YiE0S)

57 From Youtube: "Andrew Wyeth meets Lars von Trier"

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:55 AM (7EnKU)

58 The only problem is that it doesn't last long enough.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 10:58 AM (7EnKU)

59 Practicing for the next invasion. Granny wanted to play Slim Whitman's Indian Love Call, but afraid dog would explode.

Posted by: OccupyWallNuts at November 06, 2011 10:59 AM (QOQhk)

60 Is that a picture of Che Guevara's kid on the garage door?

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 06, 2011 10:59 AM (QKKT0)

61 Well spotted, Dr. Fish. I'll give you that. Rdbrewer's, on the other hand, pelvic action doesn't do it for me. But her? Ride it! Just don't talk to it much. Laughter could spoil the mood.

Posted by: Random at November 06, 2011 11:01 AM (YiE0S)

62 I would say that Grandma has had enough beer.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 06, 2011 11:01 AM (QKKT0)

63 For some strange reason, I have Earl saying "Hey! Our Cops is on!" in my head now.

Posted by: alexthechick at November 06, 2011 11:01 AM (Gk3SS)

64 Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 02:31 PM (s7mIC)

Oh. Erm. Wow?

Posted by: Ima Wurdibitsch at November 06, 2011 11:02 AM (otfJ1)

65 DOG: When is she going to throw the damn stick?

Posted by: Deli Llama at November 06, 2011 11:03 AM (k20/P)

66 The only problem is that it doesn't last long enough. Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 02:58 PM Well, the only possible point of that video could be to fap while looking at the blonde chick, so maybe. (Justin Bieber begs to disagree, and says the vid is plenty long.)

Posted by: Random at November 06, 2011 11:03 AM (YiE0S)

67 This has to be tongue in cheek. Even so, I can't stop watching.

Posted by: Dr. Manhattan at November 06, 2011 11:04 AM (4vpie)

Imagine if some of the #Occupy Anyplace hippies tried to occupy that backyard..............

Posted by: Boots at November 06, 2011 11:05 AM (neKzn)

69 The abrupt ending is a conspicuous throwback, an homage, if you will, to the series finale of The Sopranos, with the eurotechno of this generation replacing Journey's power chords for the previous generation. As with The Sopranos, one is left to wonder what happens next, will this ordinary, everyday tableau continue on, or is there mayhem, a bloodbath of skewered dogs and seniors, lurking just beyond?

Two thumbs up.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 11:07 AM (kvZF2)

70 Someone's been reading too many movie reviews.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 11:08 AM (GULKT)

71 If our government secretly sells swords to the Mexican cartels we can outlaw this kind of behavior.

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at November 06, 2011 11:08 AM (xt04m)

72 At least they are already thawing their Thanksgiving turkey on the doorknob.

Posted by: ChristyBlinky at November 06, 2011 11:08 AM (baL2B)

73 Is this something to worry about? and what up with this?

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 11:09 AM (k1rwm)

74 I smell cat piss.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 11:12 AM (GULKT)

75 I didn't read the comments but I'm sure someone has already gone with 'deleted scene from Napoleon Dynamite'.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:12 AM (uOtm7)

76 American Ipecac

Posted by: major major major major at November 06, 2011 11:13 AM (utCAk)

77 I'm going to have this song in my head the whole week. Marginally better than the scary pop songs from Lileks Halloween Diner, I guess.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 11:14 AM (kvZF2)

78 The abrupt ending is a conspicuous throwback, an homage, if you will, to the series finale of The Sopranos, with the eurotechno of this generation replacing Journey's power chords for the previous generation. As with The Sopranos, one is left to wonder what happens next, will this ordinary, everyday tableau continue on, or is there mayhem, a bloodbath of skewered dogs and seniors, lurking just beyond?

Two thumbs up.

Waterhouse, ha!

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:14 AM (7EnKU)

79 I best it isn't the first time that 15 yr old kid drank beer with grandma's acquiescence, if not outright approval.

Sure expected the girl to smack her brother in the nuts with that baton. How disappointing.

Posted by: Kortezzi at November 06, 2011 11:15 AM (xvFjg)

80 Nice honeymoon dance, cuz.

Posted by: Yeeee-haaaaaaw at November 06, 2011 11:16 AM (4q5tP)

81 A typical Sunday afternoon in America.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:17 AM (7EnKU)

82 Not nearly enough lens flares.

Posted by: JJ Abrams at November 06, 2011 11:17 AM (4q5tP)

83 These guys should cash-in and put together an exercise video.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:19 AM (7EnKU)

84 The thing is... everything in this video has "what the hell?" quality.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:21 AM (7EnKU)

85 89 The thing is... everything in this video has "what the hell?" quality.

This video has more WTFs than any other video.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 03:21 PM (7EnKU)

You clearly didn't click on the suggested video that chemjeff mentioned.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 11:22 AM (GULKT)

86 OT: NY Dem (of course) immensely proud of his junk that he posted online. Because it's art or something.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:24 AM (uOtm7)

87 "I feel like dancing with a machete."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:24 AM (7EnKU)

88 rdbrewer is far too easily amused.

I wish I had a piece of yarn I could dangle in front of a camera for him.

Posted by: logprof at November 06, 2011 11:25 AM (QaKuj)

89 Where's my machete? I feel like busting a move.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:25 AM (7EnKU)

90 "After you kids get this yard cleaned up you can dance with your stabbing weapons."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:27 AM (7EnKU)

91 This is what superheroes do on their days off.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:30 AM (7EnKU)

92 79 I smell cat piss.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 03:12 PM (GULKT)

well, clean your house. Change your clothes and take a shower for God's sake.

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 11:33 AM (k1rwm)

93 Anyone think that the guy has a truck painted as the "Pussy Wagon"?

Posted by: MrCaniac at November 06, 2011 11:34 AM (AM+sr)

94 Tonight's mystery ingredient. Granny!!!!!!

Posted by: Iron Chef at November 06, 2011 11:36 AM (AM+sr)

95 This was staged by a pro.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:37 AM (7EnKU)

96 curious has ditched her army of sophisticated Manhattan friends to stink up this thread. We should all be grateful.

Posted by: al-Cicero, Tea Party Jihadist at November 06, 2011 11:37 AM (QKKT0)

97 ^{This thread is deader than Rachel Corrie's heartbeat.

Posted by: Palestinian Liberation Front}

Or my offense.

Posted by: Mike Shannahan at November 06, 2011 11:38 AM (AM+sr)

98 ZIMA, White trash warrior Princess!!

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 11:38 AM (ZDUD4)

99 Sister or girlfriend?

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 11:39 AM (kvZF2)

100 Looks like Granny is holding a Bud Light.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 11:40 AM (ZDUD4)

101 This reminds me of my kids. They had a routine to "Eye of the Tiger" that was killer. Won them several awards. Good times.

Posted by: Pecos at November 06, 2011 11:40 AM (2Gb0y)

102 26.
Down here we call it a Log Dog.

Posted by: Pecos at November 06, 2011 11:42 AM (2Gb0y)

103 Well, it's better than the funky chicken. Hey, don't you remember the 80s? Chicks with swords are hot.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at November 06, 2011 11:44 AM (bxiXv)

104 This is why alien races pirate Earth internet connections. We have the best videos evah!

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:45 AM (7EnKU)

105 36What I want to know is, what the hell was rdbrewer looking for when he came up with that?

Posted by: cthulhu at November 06, 2011 02:33 PM (kaalw)

I want to know what the hell chemjeff was looking for when he found that, that, whatever that was!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 06, 2011 11:45 AM (+hjac)

106

I want to know what the hell chemjeff was looking for when he found that, that, whatever that was!

Posted by: Insomniac at November 06, 2011 03:45 PM (+hjac)

It shows up in the suggested links when the sword dancing video ends.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 11:46 AM (GULKT)

107

It shows up in the suggested links when the sword dancing video ends.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 03:46 PM (GULKT)

A likely story...

Posted by: Insomniac at November 06, 2011 11:47 AM (+hjac)

108 Who says America doesn't have culture?

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:47 AM (7EnKU)

109 34 Thank God Grandma is blind. ---- I've got a pretty good guess how that happened...

Posted by: buzzsaw at November 06, 2011 11:49 AM (3Zo6I)

110 In a million years an archeologist will uncover a flash card with this video and interpret it as a primitive mating dance ritual.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 11:51 AM (7EnKU)

111 Thats all kung-fu is, a bunch of stupid dancing. Really, this beats most Chinese movies I've see lately.

Posted by: bernverdnardo at November 06, 2011 11:51 AM (xXhWA)

112 Okay I haven't watched SNL in ages but this is hilarious.

Kristin Wiig looks just like Kris Jenner.

No, nothing about that is a compliment but her impersonation of her is spot-on.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:51 AM (uOtm7)

113

I hate synchronized dancing.

but if you're gonna do it, do it like that - all homespun and nerdy with a knife.

Posted by: the chicken at November 06, 2011 11:52 AM (O7ksG)

114 Speaking of Mitt (this is pretty much an open thread at this point, huh?)

We've got this movement going on...

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:53 AM (uOtm7)

115 Or I could have just read Fish's post!
_{(sorry, Fish!)}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:54 AM (uOtm7)

116 I like how the guy just happens to walk out of the house with a beer and a butterfly knife, as is the style of the time.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 11:55 AM (kvZF2)

117 123 Speaking of Mitt (this is pretty much an open thread at this point, huh?)

We've got this movement going on...

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 03:53 PM (uOtm7)

And Pam Geller is on it. Bet she supports Cain, who will support Romney the second he drops out.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 11:55 AM (GULKT)

118

Mitt is the only one who can beat Obama - so lets ditch him. Good thinking.

Posted by: the chicken at November 06, 2011 11:56 AM (O7ksG)

119 I like it.And she is pretty good. But this is the best ninja dance vodeo ever. Bear with the short ad. This is the official video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw&ob=av2e

Posted by: pat at November 06, 2011 11:56 AM (UFxap)

120 Hey, you can watch it in HD! That dog nearly got spatchcocked at 0:59.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 11:57 AM (kvZF2)

121 Bet she supports Cain, who will support Romney the second he drops out.

She is such an imbecile. Earlier this week she basically said something like "we'll teach him everything he doesn't know".

She's going to have to quit blogging and make that her full time job apparently.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 11:58 AM (uOtm7)

122 106 Sister or girlfriend?
Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 03:39 PM

Probably both if it's in the South...
( ~ducks & runs-- I'm Southern born & bred so Ah kin insult Mah people~ )

Posted by: backhoe at November 06, 2011 11:58 AM (QROim)

123 Viral preemptive exculpatory evidence kiboshing any potential future shot that the girl would have at the sexual harassment lottery.

Posted by: ontherocks at November 06, 2011 11:59 AM (HBqDo)

124 Please help us Obi Mitt Romney, You're our only hope.

Posted by: Osama bin Truck Monkey, TEArrorist Son of a Bitch at November 06, 2011 12:01 PM (jucos)

125 This is one of those parties Curious keeps going to for that special insight into politics.

Posted by: Dustin at November 06, 2011 12:01 PM (rQ/Ue)

126 I'm inclined to think they cut it off just before the dog takes a leak.

Posted by: JEM at November 06, 2011 12:02 PM (o+SC1)

127 These kids are zombie-killing machines. I want them in my boarded-up house when the shit hits the fan.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 12:04 PM (7EnKU)

128 Actually, I bathe in cat piss. It attracts the sexiest hobos down in the Bowery.

Posted by: queerios at November 06, 2011 12:09 PM (gvKjY)

129 Chemjeff... I will never look at you the same.

So you're saying.... there's a chance?

Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 12:09 PM (s7mIC)

130 The Not Mitt Romney site is dreadful. There's a quantity and quality of spelling and grammatical errors which would shame ONT posters on Cinco De Mayo.

Posted by: Zimriel at November 06, 2011 12:10 PM (6GvAC)

131 12 "Can you spot the ghost?"

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 02:19 PM (7EnKU)

Is that a "Bridge of Birds" reference? I thought I was the only one who loved that book.

Posted by: fozzy at November 06, 2011 12:12 PM (FEzSe)

132 Intriguing and horrifying at the same time - in a man juggling chain saws kind of way.

Posted by: John Boehner at November 06, 2011 12:13 PM (EL+OC)

133 when i was going down to the pet store to buy food for my manhattan social circle, i noticed a bunch of republican contract workers talking about how no-one reads ace anyway. also, here's a link to some gay porn i mean, a video of what i saw happen

Posted by: curlious at November 06, 2011 12:13 PM (6GvAC)

134 Somebody please shuffle Ru Paul off to the old folks' home.

Ron Paul: Best Way To Deal With Islamic Maniacs In Iran Is By Â“Offering FriendshipÂ”Â…

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 06, 2011 12:14 PM (9hSKh)

135 147 Somebody please shuffle Ru Paul off to the old folks' home.

Ron Paul: Best Way To Deal With Islamic Maniacs In Iran Is By Â“Offering FriendshipÂ”Â…

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at November 06, 2011 04:14 PM (9hSKh)

How about if we just send him to Iran to offer them friendship?

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 12:15 PM (GULKT)

136 There's a quantity and quality of spelling and grammatical errors which would shame ONT posters on Cinco De Mayo.

Posted by: Zimriel at November 06, 2011 04:10 PM (6GvAC)

Haha! And folks give me hell for my, uh, mistakes.

That holiday would be, uh, Cinco de Quatro, the day that, uh Mexicans invented the taco.

Ask Michelle, she can't get enough of them.

Posted by: El Presidente Obamo lovin some gun traffico at November 06, 2011 12:20 PM (r7wYd)

137 146 when i was going down to the pet store to buy food for my manhattan social circle, i noticed a bunch of republican contract workers talking about how no-one reads ace anyway. also, here's a link to some gay porn i mean, a video of what i saw happen

Posted by: curlious at November 06, 2011 04:13 PM (6GvAC)

seriously, seek help.

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 12:27 PM (k1rwm)

138 O/T Cain sounded really good at the Newt-Cain thing last night.

But he's still got ways to go. I'd vote for a ticket with him as VP.

Posted by: Arms Merchant at November 06, 2011 12:28 PM (+XVQe)

139 That SNL video is a scream. Bruce Jenner's frozen face caused a screen splurt.

Posted by: Aunt Cranky at November 06, 2011 12:29 PM (JoeF6)

140 I have been watching this video several times a day since soon after it came out. I can't stop watching it! The dog, grandma, the painting in the background, the dancing woman who seemingly gives no glances anywhere in particular. It's a really perfect video

Posted by: Village Idiot at November 06, 2011 12:30 PM (utXSy)

141 I don't understand this? When you purchase a home aren't you required to do a title search to make sure the title is clear to be given to you and then don't you purchase title insurance just in case the title company somehow screwed up? So if the land belonged to the power company then why were the residents permitted to take title of their homes?

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 12:33 PM (k1rwm)

142

O/T Cain sounded really good at the Newt-Cain thing last night.

He sure did. Let's discuss it.

Newt can go first.

Posted by: garrett at November 06, 2011 12:33 PM (CTXt9)

143

"They sure are doing amazing things with Mobile Homes these days."

Posted by: Keith at November 06, 2011 12:34 PM (GrNp+)

144 Let's try that link again.

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 12:35 PM (k1rwm)

145 I couldn't watch the cain/gingrich debate? How was it? How did it go? Were there any "moments" that were particularly interesting?

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 12:36 PM (k1rwm)

146 I couldn't watch the cain/gingrich debate? How was it? How did it go? Were there any "moments" that were particularly interesting?

Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 04:36 PM (k1rwm)

Newt?

Posted by: Herman Cain at November 06, 2011 12:42 PM (jucos)

147

O/T I've noticed a trend with my lib friends on Facebook.

They are all obsessed with altering their profile pics to make them look like zombies.

Halloween was a week ago.

What. The. Fuck?

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 12:43 PM (r7wYd)

148 They are all obsessed with altering their profile pics to make them look like zombies.

Maybe in the interest of accuracy.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 12:46 PM (kvZF2)

149 161

O/T I've noticed a trend with my lib friends on Facebook.

They are all obsessed with altering their profile pics to make them look like zombies.

Halloween was a week ago.

What. The. Fuck?

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 04:43 PM (r7wYd)

Put this video up on your page.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 12:48 PM (GULKT)

150 159 I couldn't watch the cain/Gingrich debate? How was it? How did it go? Were there any "moments" that were particularly interesting? Posted by: surprised at November 06, 2011 04:36 PM I watched the last half of it. It was kind of like if you and your best friend were interviewing for a job at the same time. One would say something and the other would expound on it. There wasn't any combat. Just discussing the facts.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 12:49 PM (ZDUD4)

151 Obama Releases Statement on the Hajj and Eid al-Adha

Posted by: Baroque at November 06, 2011 12:49 PM (B0LGd)

152 Oh, FK, I responded to it. Sorry rons.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 12:50 PM (ZDUD4)

153 Maybe in the interest of accuracy.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 04:46 PM (kvZF2)

Funny enough, I'm just about to go Yes on Issue 2 and Yes on Issue 3 on Facebook.

That should bring out the lib zombies.

I'm ready for the hate.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 12:53 PM (r7wYd)

154 Check it, girl. Gettin all pumped up.

Posted by: praecisio at November 06, 2011 12:53 PM (IFzOU)

155 Oh, FK, I responded to it. Sorry rons.

Oh but you called IT IT. That wipes out any transgression!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 12:54 PM (uOtm7)

156 ErikW at November 06, 2011 04:53 PM Whip em like a Judge's Daughter.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 12:54 PM (ZDUD4)

157 Aw, how sweet.

Little Barry apparently quoted Alinsky when he first met Mooch.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 12:57 PM (uOtm7)

158 44 33 Actually, one of the video suggestions that popped up after the sword dancing video is even weirder.

http://tinyurl.com/64pduve (VERY NSFW AND VERY WEIRD)

(please don't ban me)

Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 02:31 PM (s7mIC)
Wow, I actually watched that. That was art?

Posted by: jaimo at November 06, 2011 12:57 PM (ZHPDT)

159

Put this video up on your page.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 04:48 PM (GULKT)

Done and done! Thanks for the reminder, Buzz!

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 12:58 PM (r7wYd)

160 Same dude. Gramma's got another beer. Same bag of trash on the door handle. Big cat picture on the wall.

I want to party with this family.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 01:00 PM (7EnKU)

161 Put this video up on your page. Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 04:48 PM (GULKT) That's awesome. I met Bob hope once at a USO show at NAS Miramar. Unfortunatly I was too focused on the Landers Sisiters to take the time to chat with him. Stupid 19 year old pecker.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 01:00 PM (ZDUD4)

162

That's awesome. I met Bob hope once at a USO show at NAS Miramar. Unfortunatly I was too focused on the Landers Sisiters to take the time to chat with him. Stupid 19 year old pecker.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 05:00 PM (ZDUD4)

I'm sure he understood.

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 01:02 PM (GULKT)

163 They need to hire these kids for The Walking Dead. They could be written-in as the legendary zombie-killing duo from the House of Usher, the only large encampment left on the planet.

It would make TWD into a decent show.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 01:02 PM (7EnKU)

164

Whip em like a Judge's Daughter.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 04:54 PM (ZDUD4)

With a little 'How's Your Father' on it.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 01:05 PM (r7wYd)

165 Just had a big scare. A big black robed skeleton with a scythe burst through my front door and pointed his finger at me. Turns out, he was just coming for this thread.

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at November 06, 2011 01:12 PM (xt04m)

166 My immediate impression; junior is checking out sis's dance moves just a weeeeee bit too closely. IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: pep at November 06, 2011 01:18 PM (6TB1Z)

167

So anywho, I'm voting yes on both Issue 2 and Issue 3 here in Ohio which may both end up being symbolic.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 01:18 PM (r7wYd)

168 182 My immediate impression; junior is checking out sis's dance moves just a weeeeee bit too closely. IYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: pep at November 06, 2011 05:18 PM (6TB1Z)

Maybe their last name is Lannister?

Posted by: buzzion at November 06, 2011 01:19 PM (GULKT)

169 172 44 33 Actually, one of the video suggestions that popped up after the sword dancing video is even weirder. http://tinyurl.com/64pduve (VERY NSFW AND VERY WEIRD) (please don't ban me) Posted by: chemjeff at November 06, 2011 02:31 PM (s7mIC) Wow, I actually watched that.Â That was art? Posted by: jaimo at November 06, 2011 04:57 PM (ZHPDT) No, it was actually the wedding reception we went to last night. Italian weddings ain't what they used to be, folks!

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:19 PM (niZvt)

170 Coolczech, they actually had power?

Posted by: jaimo at November 06, 2011 01:23 PM (ZHPDT)

171 "SwingBlade and the Cheerleader"

Posted by: James Loughner at November 06, 2011 01:24 PM (e8kgV)

172 I don't know why a divorcee would go all out for her second wedding reception, but when we got to the part they started showing childhood and early adult pictures, I hoped they would show photos from her first wedding. Was I really so wrong?

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:25 PM (niZvt)

173
Dance!
Dance for Grandma!!

Grandma is pleased.

You have evaded the mop for today.

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at November 06, 2011 01:25 PM (Qxdfp)

174 @186: yeah, it was one of those multistory wedding halls with several receptions happening simultaneously, and they did have power. All the Italian food... The antipasto... The desserts... Like a cruise ship.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:28 PM (niZvt)

175 VIENNA // The UN atomic agency plans to reveal intelligence this week suggesting Iran made computer models of a nuclear warhead and other previously undisclosed details on alleged secret work by Tehran on nuclear arms.

Posted by: James Loughner at November 06, 2011 01:28 PM (e8kgV)

176

No, showing pictures of the first wedding would have at least been entertaining, but pictures of the first wedding night would have been entertainment.

My half sister got married again at the age of 40, knocked up, 8 months pregnant wearing a white full length wedding gown while she was supposed to be on bedrest because of elevated blood pressure. I feel your pain.

Posted by: jaimo at November 06, 2011 01:29 PM (ZHPDT)

177

Isn't it about time for a new thread or something?

Posted by: jaimo at November 06, 2011 01:31 PM (ZHPDT)

178 @193: yeah, some home-grown porn with hubby no. 1 would have been a nice touch. No worse than wearing a white dress for hubby no. 2, I suppose.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:33 PM (niZvt)

179

I hear ya Jaimo, but this one is still loading pretty fast, and I don't have any news that warrants its own thread.

But

Can anyone tell me what happens now that the bumblefuck declined to answer the subpoena?

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 01:34 PM (I2LwF)

180 The only problem is that it doesn't last long enough.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 02:58 PM (7EnKU)

Seriously. Wondered what accident happened that made them cut it off. One of em fell maybe?

Ignore the haters rd-- a fun little vid. And it *did* have it all:

Zombie Grandma, booze, cute chick, dancin', religion (the pic), more nerdy dancin', suspense (will she let go of the sword while swiinging wildly and Grandma get it in the heart?), catchy tune, random-y butter knife, doggeh cuteness.

Posted by: it's youtoob, Moron Horde, not the Met at November 06, 2011 01:34 PM (lDLUG)

181 192 VIENNA // The UN atomic agency plans to reveal intelligence this week suggesting Iran made computer models of a nuclear warhead and other previously undisclosed details on alleged secret work by Tehran on nuclear arms. That CANNOT be true, because the National Liberal Intelligence Estimate said Iran gave up working on nukes years ago, and the Superior Minds of the Left believe it!

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:36 PM (niZvt)

182 Something about a cheese commercial?

Posted by: sTevo at November 06, 2011 01:37 PM (VMcEw)

183 200! yay!!

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 01:44 PM (I2LwF)

184 This thread is deader than the granny in that video. Seriously, one of those sword swings must have cut her throat.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:46 PM (niZvt)

185 These kids must be students at the U.S. Lawn Chair Pilots Academy. Grandma, seated in what is probably an advanced materials prototype lawn chair, is most likely one of their instructors. These students will probably make their initial flights in standard webbed chairs, and the moves that they are practicing could actually be specifically designed to allow them to quickly and accurately lose altitude in an emergency. Yes, that must be it ....

Posted by: Errol at November 06, 2011 01:47 PM (vewos)

186 That video was just like my aunt's wedding reception, but with less beer.

Posted by: Not Drinking Nearly Enough at November 06, 2011 01:48 PM (HtUdo)

187

Didn't take long for the Onion to slime LaRussa

and

This is totally my daughter. Ugh.

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 01:48 PM (I2LwF)

188 I see Granny Palpatine giggling, "Yes... Let your hate make you strong... It is inevitable!"

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:50 PM (niZvt)

189 Oh Cripes it's dark already.

Sigh. Depressing.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 01:52 PM (uOtm7)

190 Sigh. Depressing. Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 05:52 PM At least we have each other.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 01:53 PM (ZDUD4)

191 Been dark for an hour here. Official sunset was 4:35 and it's almost 6.

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 01:53 PM (I2LwF)

192 At least we have each other.

As long as it doesn't turn into #OWS with head and body lice.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 01:55 PM (uOtm7)

193 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena?

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at November 06, 2011 01:55 PM (xt04m)

194 Put fatigues on these kids, give them a couple of M16s and send them to Afghanistan. Because they both have balls of solid rock.

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 01:56 PM (7EnKU)

195 Nah, if I don't bathe every day my wife yells at me.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 01:56 PM (ZDUD4)

196 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena?

Now that's a very intriguing question isn't it?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at November 06, 2011 01:57 PM (uOtm7)

197 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena? Well, they take the paper, crumble it into a little ball, throw it in the shit can and tell the sender to go fuck themselves.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 01:58 PM (ZDUD4)

198 210 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena? When you're a lawless thug protected by every elite institution in the world, you say, "Meh, now what are you gonna do about it?" How much you wanna bet that the controlling legal authority does bupkiss?

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 01:59 PM (I2LwF)

199 We're in for 4 months of coming home from work in the dark. All because we save daylight in the summer, when there's lots of sunlight, but revert to ordinary time when the days are shortest. Your government, in action.

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 01:59 PM (niZvt)

200 Isn't the history of DST based on the harvesting of crops or some such shit. Last time I checked Food Lion was well lit.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 02:00 PM (ZDUD4)

201 I finally just watched the video. It reminds me of an OK Go video.

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 02:01 PM (I2LwF)

202 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena?

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at November 06, 2011 05:55 PM (xt04m)

Why not? Who's going to prosecute?

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 02:02 PM (r7wYd)

203 Maybe those kids are going to audition for the umteenth version of The Power Rangers. The chick would look cute in the pink outfit.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 02:03 PM (ZDUD4)

204 Isn't the history of DST based on the harvesting of crops or some such shit. Last time I checked Food Lion was well lit.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 06:00 PM (ZDUD4)

I think whoever the lobbyists at the time wanted to pin it on the farmers -- but farmers don't even need a clock, so that's not it. Theater owners maybe?

Posted by: Steck at November 06, 2011 02:05 PM (RL7U1)

205 Hmm, Outdoor theaters. I bet at least 1 ron was conceived at an Outdoor theater.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 02:07 PM (ZDUD4)

206

OK. Let me rephrase:

Under a constitutional republic where our betters followed the laws they write for us, what would happen?

Posted by: Truman North at November 06, 2011 02:08 PM (I2LwF)

207 210 Wait a minute. How does one "decline to answer " a subpoena? Â 215 When you're a lawless thug protected by every elite institution in the world, you say, "Meh, now what are you gonna do about it?" Â How much you wanna bet that the controlling legal authority does bupkiss? The SCOAMF is very creative in coming up with ways to piss me off. He is doing exactly what the leaders of OWS are doing. Just making shit up as they go along.

Posted by: PugBoo TeaPug Jihadist Mastermind at November 06, 2011 02:08 PM (xt04m)

208

The damn democrats caused this mess!

Posted by: Lemon Kitten at November 06, 2011 02:08 PM (O7ksG)

209 @ 213

Simple, if you're this admin--just put out a statement full of specious claims about "executive privilege" and ignore Congress.

Posted by: irongrampa at November 06, 2011 02:08 PM (SAMxH)

210

I'll tell you one thing - getting up at 4:55 am to go elk hunting was a breeze, today.

In three days, though, it will suck just as much as last week.

Posted by: garrett at November 06, 2011 02:10 PM (CTXt9)

211 This is a rogue, unaccountable Administration. Come the elections of 2012 we are going to see how rogue they really are.

Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 02:10 PM (ZDUD4)

212 OT, not that there really is much of a T left, anyway... PBS is runnung an old Lawrence Welk show, that reminded me that I read that he actually fired the over-60 Lovely Champagne Lady for wearing her skirt above her knees, the debauched wench! So much for his attachment to his " musical family."

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 02:12 PM (niZvt)

213 i watched that whole thing waiting for either grandma, the dog or the brother to get decapitated.....i've never been more disappointed.......

Posted by: phoenixgirl ready to drink the perry flavor-aid..can i get a different flavor? at November 06, 2011 02:14 PM (SH3gZ)

214 229 This is a rogue, unaccountable Administration. Come the elections of 2012 we are going to see how rogue they really are. Posted by: Oldsailor's poet at November 06, 2011 06:10 PM (ZDUD4) What if thet "decline" to vacate the White House?

Posted by: CoolCzech at November 06, 2011 02:16 PM (niZvt)

215 @ 228

Lucky bastard. I envy you your good fortune. Always wanted to hunt elk, just never worked out.

Posted by: irongrampa at November 06, 2011 02:18 PM (SAMxH)

216 Maybe it's not a subpoena subpoena. Somebody check with Whoopi.

Posted by: Waterhouse at November 06, 2011 02:20 PM (kvZF2)

217

I'm back, over at Politico there's some douche that thinks if he writes a timeline of the Solyndra deal and uses red letters and underlining that we'll think it actually was funded under George Bush.

He be wrong. There were many people correcting his timeline.

Some idiot asked why the GOP wasn't happy with the 85,000 documents that they were given by the WH. I was very happy to clue them into the fact that those 85,000 documents were actually SCOAMF's golf scorecards for the last 3 years.

Posted by: Jaimo at November 06, 2011 02:20 PM (ZHPDT)

218 @220, now let's not go back to crappy 80's shows again. I am still recovering from finding out that the yellow power ranger had a "package".

Posted by: Jaimo at November 06, 2011 02:22 PM (ZHPDT)

219 "official DNC newsletter Politico"

Posted by: AoSHQ Style Guid at November 06, 2011 02:23 PM (kvZF2)

220 Speaking of the Lawrence Welk hotties, I sometimes wonder what they'd look like nowadays.

Posted by: ErikW at November 06, 2011 02:24 PM (r7wYd)

221 Oops, sorry, my bad.

Posted by: Jaimo at November 06, 2011 02:24 PM (ZHPDT)

222 Ok, I guess I'm talking to myself again, check back later. Bye

Posted by: Jaimo at November 06, 2011 02:25 PM (ZHPDT)

223 No that I currently think he should be president but, "Cornbread" really brought it home this week.

http://tinyurl.com/bo95ekd

(link to telegraph)

Posted by: Shiggz undecided - weighing pros-cons-balls at November 06, 2011 02:26 PM (I9fXA)

224

Lucky bastard. I envy you your good fortune. Always wanted to hunt elk, just never worked out.

I've been hunting elk for 15 years now...haven't killed one yet.

In all that time I have loosed one arrow (deflected off a pencil sized twig at 35 yds and sailed high), chambered one round and got so far as to take the safety off on my rifle but never fired as I couldn't get a clear shot.

That's it. Hundreds of miles. Tens of thousands of vertical feet. No love.

Without access to a large section of private ground, it is difficult to get on them consistantly. They lock up on the big ranches and settle in for the season.

Still, I am lucky to get to chase the thought of elk around the hills.

Posted by: garrett at November 06, 2011 02:26 PM (CTXt9)

225 no=not

Posted by: Shiggz undecided - weighing pros-cons-balls at November 06, 2011 02:26 PM (I9fXA)

226 Palladia is showing Foo Fighters: Back and Forth. Excellent Rock Doc.

Posted by: Osama bin Truck Monkey, TEArrorist Son of a Bitch at November 06, 2011 02:38 PM (jucos)

227 @ 242

Been hunting and fishing since I was 12, and the thrill has never diminished, no matter the circumstance. Someday, I guess old age will triumph. But not just yet.

One of the nicest things has been introducing my kids to both sports. Now, it's the grandkids. Not a bad legacy.

Posted by: irongrampa at November 06, 2011 02:39 PM (SAMxH)

228 "Here, gramma. I got this."

Posted by: rdbrewer at November 06, 2011 03:08 PM (7EnKU)

229 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.

Posted by: steevy at November 06, 2011 04:16 PM (fyOgS)

230 Those aren't her grandkids. Every Saturday she dips into her old age fund and picks up a couple teenagers off of craigslist.

Posted by: zorachus at November 06, 2011 04:40 PM (qc/CQ)

231 You should see the videos this family puts on redtube.

Posted by: SamInVA at November 06, 2011 05:19 PM (eEipr)

232 Better to have a daughter in the brothel than a son on the dance team.

Posted by: BuddyPC at November 06, 2011 07:00 PM (JjjnQ)

233
Texas?

Almost Japanese in its weirdness.