Nine years ago -- can it possibly have been so long ago? -- a website I had never heard of before (a coworker had to explain it to me, saying it was a one-man scandal-sheet that seemed particularly obsessed with the weather) ran this headline:

NEWSWEEK KILLS STORY ON WHITE HOUSE INTERN. BLOCKBUSTER REPORT: 23-YEAR OLD, FORMER WHITE HOUSE INTERN, SEX RELATIONSHIP WITH PRESIDENT

Gerald Van der Leun notes in the comments:

Yes, but only because CBS, NBC, ABC, The New York Times, the LA Times, CNN and MsNBC and about ten thousand other papers were busy sucking on the Democratic gas pipe.

...but that's the point, isn't it? The important thing is that Drudge gate-crashed the all-mighty gate-keepers of information.

Posted by: Ace at 04:14 PM | Comments (30)
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Next time I play "live" D&D, I'm definitely doing this. (Avenge my death.)

Thanks to The Colossus.

Posted by: Ace at 03:46 PM | Comments (21)
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I hate whining about being sick, but when I've taken off two days I guess I have to mention it.

I had mono in high school, so I know I didn't have that. But I had something that knocked me on my ass like mono. After sleeping a solid 24 hours, off and on, out of the last 48, I finally feel rested.

Maybe the big dose of Vitamin D helped out some.

Sorry for the absence.

Posted by: Ace at 03:41 PM | Comments (66)
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Welcome to the next two years. Get used to it:

A bipartisan group of senators announced a formal resolution of opposition yesterday to President Bush's buildup of troops in Iraq, calling for more diplomacy, international cooperation and an "appropriately expedited" transfer of military responsibilities to Iraqi security forces.

The nonbinding resolution, which could come to a vote within two weeks, moves Congress a major step closer to a public confrontation with the Bush administration over war policy. A Senate vote would be followed quickly by action in the House. But even before the resolution's introduction, prominent lawmakers, including Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.), were pushing for far tougher measures that could cut off funding for the war and legislatively thwart Bush's "surge" of 21,500 additional troops.

It's nonbinding, but it ratchets up the political pressure on Bush, and we all know how good he is at presenting his case for something in a clear and concise manner.

Ace was right about this last week: This is their way of opposing the war and covering their asses at the same time. They won't come out and say "Bring them home"; that would be too honest. Instead they'll talk about "international cooperation" (which they know damn well won't work) and "transfer of military responsibilities" (which everyone knows the Iraqi army isn't ready for). The result is the same: a hamstrung war effort, and political points at home bought for the small price of allowing American soldiers to die in a cause they don't believe in but refuse to speak honestly about.

Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-S.C.) called the resolution "the worst of all outcomes . . . a symbolic going-to-the-pier before the troops ship off to say, 'We believe in you, but you're going to lose.' "

Well, he got it half-right.

Posted by: AndrewR at 02:17 PM | Comments (125)
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Help, I'm Not A Celebrity, Get Me Off This Planet.

Britain has been plunged into a diplomatic crisis with India following accusations of 'racism' on reality television show Celebrity Big Brother, aimed at Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty.

Tony Blair was drawn into the row during Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday while Chancellor Gordon Brown condemned the 'offensive' bullying on his visit to India following a complaint from the country's junior foreign minister.

And security has stepped up around TV's Celebrity Big Brother house after threats were made against the housemates at the centre of the bitter race storm.

However Channel has said there had been "no overt racial abuse or racist behaviour" directed against Shetty - though it did admit there had "undoubtedly been a cultural and class clash between her and three of the British females in the house."

"Unambiguous racist behaviour and language is not tolerated under any circumstances in the Big Brother house. Housemates are constantly monitored and Channel 4 would intervene if a clear instance of this arose.

Okay, so what was said? Well, the three "racists" do not like this woman very much, and have said things that would make a very thin-skinned sort become very pleased at the chance to become righteously angry.

In a way, I hope a shooting war starts. Let's just take this nonsense to its logical conclusion.

Friday 5 January

The Goody family enter the Big Brother house. Jade's mum Jackiey refuses to pronounce Shilpa's name correctly.

Saturday 6 January

Jackiey asks Shilpa if she lives in a shack.

Wednesday 10 January

Jackiey is evicted and calls Shilpa "the Indian" in an interview.

Friday 12 January

Danielle Lloyd brands Shilpa a "dog". Jade says Shilpa "makes her skin crawl".

Saturday 13 January

Danielle says Shilpa wants to be white after seeing her bleaching her facial hair. Jo O'Meara asks if Shilpa gets stubble "like a man".

Sunday 14 January

Jo wonders whether Indian people are skinny because they do not cook food properly - like Shilpa. Danielle says she doesn't want Shilpa touching her food. Jack Tweedy uses a four-letter word to describe Shilpa. Critics say he said "Paki", Channel Four say he used the word c***.

I don't know what's funnier-- that this timeline is more detailed than the Warren Report on the Kennedy Assassination, or that Britain pretends these people are "celebrities."

Posted by: Ace at 04:54 PM | Comments (202)
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I don't know where Ace is or what he is or isn't copulating with, but as long as he's gone I'm just gonna keep tossing stuff up here so people can have a chance to complain about how he's better than me.

First up, more good news from Afghanistan.
You have to go to CNN to read the whole thing, but I found it at Jawa so that's who I'm linking.

Two civilians thwarted an attempted terrorist attack Tuesday when a vehicle loaded with explosives attempted to crash through the front gate of a U.S. base in the Afghan capital, according to the U.S. military.

The two men, an interpreter and a security guard, dragged the apparent suicide bomber from the vehicle before he could detonate explosives, said Col. Tom Collins, the chief spokesman for U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

"I think it's a pretty amazing and heroic event," Collins said.

Seconded.

Next, you can move over to Hot Air, where they've got something that's more of a downer: Mark Steyn's speech to the Heritage Foundation.

Why is Steyn always so damn pessimistic? Well, stuff like this probably doesn't help:

MOSCOW -- Russia said yesterday it had delivered new anti aircraft missile systems to Iran and would consider more requests from Tehran for defensive weapons, immediately drawing criticism from the United States.

...

Russian Defense Minister Sergei Ivanov told reporters in Moscow that Russia had supplied the modern short-range anti aircraft systems TOR-M1.

"We're developing our military and technical cooperation with Iran in accordance with international law and will continue to develop it," he said. "And if Iran wants to buy defensive, I underline defensive, equipment for its armed forces then why not?"

I underline that if an American jet ever gets shot down by Russian weapons, I'll be in favor of bombing Moscow.

In a follow-up to my post the other night about the woman who died in the "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest, it seems that the DJs who ran it have been sacked:

A Sacramento, Calif., radio station has fired 10 employees after a woman died in a water-drinking contest to win a Nintendo Wii, the Associated Press and other media sources are reporting.

...

John Geary, vice president and general manager of Entercom/Sacramento, the parent company of KDND, sent an e-mail to reporters Tuesday stating that "effective immediately, the 'Morning Rave' program is canceled and 10 employees are no longer with the station."

Among the fired employees were three morning disc jockeys.

Unsurprising, but obviously appropriate.

My question: Did the contest winner get these games too? (link NSFW)

Posted by: AndrewR at 03:31 PM | Comments (26)
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Some of them still have what it takes:

Four Royal Marines flew into a battle zone clinging to the outside of helicopter gunships in a bid to rescue a fallen comrade, the Ministry of Defence has revealed.

Unwilling to leave behind one of their number following a retreat, the commandos strapped themselves to the small stabiliser wings of two Apache helicopters and returned into the midst of a fierce gunfight with the Taliban in southern Afghanistan.

...

Following an intense gun and mortar battle, the commandos were forced back. When they realised L/Cpl Ford was missing, four soldiers volunteered to return.

Three Apaches were available for the mission, but the 200mph helicopters have no room inside for passengers. The soldiers made the snap decision to travel on the outside of two of the armour-plated aircraft, with a third helicopter providing covering fire.

Question: Elton John, Mick Jagger, etc.-those guys have all been knighted. Do you think any of these guys ever will be?

Posted by: AndrewR at 02:08 PM | Comments (28)
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I figure 100 comments in just over an hour merits it. Visit the previous Steven Seagal post, and then add your own ideas here.

I'll have the contest results...soon.

Posted by: AndrewR at 01:48 PM | Comments (790)
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Funny post by co-blogger Levy about Steven Seagal today over at The Daily Gut.

Like anyone else, in my spare time I like to come up with Steven Seagal movie titles. Obviously they have to be three words in length, and you have to be able to say "Steven Seagal is" before them. Here are some to get you started!

Steven Seagal is ... Under The Weather

...

Steven Seagal is ... Eating For Two

...

Steven Seagal is ... Priced To Move

I'll take the bait and steal Ace's schtick while I'm at it:

Top Ten Direct-to-DVD Movies Of Steven Seagal:

1. Steven Seagal is...Pinching A Loaf

2. Steven Seagal is...Rubbing One Out

3. Steven Seagal is...Perplexed By Fractions

4. Steven Seagal is...Refusing To Shower

5. Steven Seagal is...Watching "Cool Runnings"

6. Steven Seagal is...In Time Out

7. Steven Seagal is...Trying On Sweaters

8. Steven Seagal is...Allergic To Dairy

9. Steven Seagal is...Scoffing At Cripples

10. Steven Seagal is...Definitely Not Reading

Add your own in the comments. You know you want to.

Posted by: AndrewR at 12:38 PM | Comments (158)
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Celebrity Photo Mashup For Hump Day.

OMIGOD, I can totally feel that Frito I had today. I am such a cow.

Wow, she looks like shit. I can totally see that Frito.

HELLOOO NURSE! Are you smuggling a Frito, or just happy to see me?

'at's a F****ing Frito, ain't it, made o' corn, you f***ing tarty sweet f***ing F***!

Inspired by Wuzzadem.

Dude, I am so going to rip you off. That was too much damn fun. Sorry.

Posted by: LauraW. at 08:00 PM | Comments (53)
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