There are only four sorts of people killed by US (or Israeli) strikes, according to AP and Reuters.

1) Children, which are military-aged men under 30 years old

2) The elderly, who are military-aged men over 30 years old

3) Women, who are military-aged men who do not have moustaches or beards

4) "Newlyweds," who are military-aged men killed in the compromising position of participating in a Men's Doubles Aerobic Dance Competition

Remember, even by AP's own admission, this report is completely unverified. So why are they running it?

Helicopter gunships attacked suspected al-Qaida fighters in the south Tuesday after U.S. forces staged airstrikes in the first offensive in the African country since 18 American soldiers were killed there in 1993, witnesses said.

Witnesses said 31 civilians, including two newlyweds, died in the assault by two helicopters near Afmadow, a town in an area of forested hills close to the Kenyan border 220 miles southwest of Somalia's capital, Mogadishu. The report could not be independently verified.

Yeah? Well I have an unverified report they they nailed a "big fish."

Alleged Islamic extremist Bigfoot, seen
in the Peshewar region, 2002

They really are very protective of their terrorist friends.

When the terrorists are in trouble, they put out propaganda designed to get us to stop fighting back, and damn if AP and Reuters don't instantaneously put out the word that really, we ought to let these sweet-souled kite-flying "rambunctious youths" retreat and regroup in peace.

More... Hm. The article was written by someone named Salad Duhul. I did not see that coming.

After getting the propaganda out of the way -- I'm Ayman al-Zawahiri, and I approved this message -- the article goes on to tell us about yesterday's strikes.

On Monday, at least one U.S. AC-130 gunship attacked Islamic extremists in Hayi, 30 miles from Afmadow, and on a remote island 155 miles away believed to be an al-Qaida training camp at the southern tip of Somalia next to Kenya. Somali officials said they had reports of many deaths. The Pentagon confirmed the strike, but declined to comment on any details.

The U.S. is targeting Islamic extremists, said the Somali defense official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk to reporters. Earlier, Somalia's president said the U.S. was hunting suspects in the 1998 bombings of two U.S. embassies in East Africa, and had his support.

The Islamic extremists are believed to be sheltering suspects in the embassy bombings, and American officials also want to make sure the militants will not longer pose a threat to Somalia's U.N.-backed transitional government.

The aircraft carrier USS Dwight D. Eisenhower arrived off Somalia's coast and launched intelligence-gathering missions over Somalia, the U.S. military said. Three other U.S. warships were conducting anti-terror operations.

U.S. warships have been seeking to capture al-Qaida members thought to be fleeing Somalia after Ethiopia's military invaded Dec. 24 in support of the interim Somali government and drove the Islamic militia out of the capital and toward the Kenyan border.

President Abdullahi Yusuf, head of Somalia's U.N.-backed transitional government, told journalists in Mogadishu that the U.S. "has a right to bombard terrorist suspects who attacked its embassies in Kenya and Tanzania."

But others in the capital said the attacks would increase anti-American sentiment in the largely Muslim country, where people are already upset by the presence of troops from neighboring Ethiopia, which has a large Christian population. The U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, reissued a terror warning Tuesday to Americans living in or visiting the Horn of Africa.

I don't get it. Why would Muslims' anger at America necessitate a terror warning? It's confusing; the two bits of data seem to have no connection whatsoever.

One more "unverified report" for ya:

...

Witnesses said at least four civilians were killed Monday evening in Hayi, including a small boy. The claims could not be independently verified.

The boy's name is said to be Adnan al-Cutevictim, though he is generally known by his nom de guerre Adnan "The Adorable" al-Cutevictim. Poignantly, he died just as he was blowing out the candles on his ice-cream birthday cake.

He was only 47.

Let me run my own bit of propaganda:

Somalia Â… Somalia

Come to her aid O Muslims!

Ethiopia brought in her army, by land and by air, in a criminal aggression upon the Muslims of Somalia and announced this intervention after having done it before without any announcement. Her reason this time being self-defence, that is, the defence of Ethiopia, but where? In Somalia!?

Please hurry! 72 sexy, sculpted, Spandex-wearing virgins are awaiting you!

Posted by: Ace at 10:31 AM | Comments (52)
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Well, "still" is misleading, because even I recognize this article as being old.

Zonies sent it to me -- dude, it's old; Just Friends came out like ten years ago -- but it's fun to knock Chris Klen around. Plus I'm trying to think of a new way to write a post I've written six thousand times already, and let me tell you, it's a bitch and a half. So why not.

Chris Klein before his metamorphosis from larva to, well, Chris Klein:

“I was kind of thinking about that on the way over here, trying to remember if I had been or had not been because I thought that that might be a question of interest. I did come up with one name, and her name is Natalie. I remember my freshman year of high school - my freshman and sophomore years of high school - I was absolutely in love with her but she was always busy dating older guys. I had braces and I was kind of a late bloomer pubescence-wise, so I didn't have the juice needed to get out of that. I was in jazz choir and things like that. She was interested in all that stuff too, so we'd go on the road together and do all that stuff. But I could never… She dated a baseball player. I had no chance.”

And now?

“What ended up happening in Regina, and we also used the town of Moose Jaw which is I guess 45 miles to the east of Regina, it actually reminded me a heck of a lot of where I grew up. The flatness of it. The sparseness of it. When you do get to the town, environmentally it was perfect for our movie: how I felt very at home with the women of our particular suburban small town, how I was content with the available women in that town and confident that I could woo most of them, if not all."

Pubescent-wise. What were his other ones? "Speaking pubescently" was one. He has thirty ways to say "puberty" and all of them are wrong.

In related news, Katie Holmes has, apparently, never lived in Moose Jaw.

Posted by: Ace at 10:21 AM | Comments (6)
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Rut-roh.

Posted by: Ace at 09:25 AM | Comments (65)
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Lucianne just has a headline up with no link--

Allah updates yesterday's C-130 story to note that sources have early, sketchy optimism that they got some of the guys they were looking for, but it really seems too early to make such assessments, and these early signs of success are usually wrong. We killed Saddam like three or four times according to early reports from 2003 airstrikes.

Posted by: Ace at 08:57 AM | Comments (23)
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...or so they suspect.

The gas-like odor that hung over Manhattan's streets was gone Tuesday, but city officials were still trying to pinpoint its source — and eyeing New Jersey.

Charles Sturcken, a spokesman for the city Department of Environmental Protection, said Tuesday that his agency was pretty sure the source of the smell was along New Jersey's industrialized waterfront, just across the Hudson River from New York.

"The way we tracked the dispersion of the smell and the prevailing winds indicates that it came from New Jersey, somewhere near Secaucus," Sturcken said.

...

"It may just be an unpleasant smell," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said at a midmorning news conference Monday.

Secaucus is (was?) the home of MSNBC. You know Chris Mathews can do some damage when he eats Mexican.

New Jersey, the Dog You Blame Your Farts On State.

Via Wardrobe Door. Aaron's got the trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I was wondering why bother, but this one's all-CGI, so it's a little different than the old ones, I guess. It looks (and I mean "looks" in the literal sense) kinda neat.

Posted by: Ace at 08:53 AM | Comments (45)
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The official ad for the Khafilah Conference of Muslims in Sydney.

First item from their website--

Somalia Â… Somalia

Come to her aid O Muslims!

Ethiopia brought in her army, by land and by air, in a criminal aggression upon the Muslims of Somalia and announced this intervention after having done it before without any announcement. Her reason this time being self-defence, that is, the defence of Ethiopia, but where? In Somalia!?

I find it's fun to run this at the same time as this:

Compare and contrast.

I really wish they'd just learn to dance. And accessorize.

Thanks to Ken.

Posted by: Ace at 08:45 AM | Comments (21)
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To balance out the cheesecake -- slow-motion men's individual cheerleading-dancing to a Madonna megamix, with lots of Spandex, which wouldn't be so bad, except some of these guys seem to be wearing sportsbras, for reasons unfathomable.

Thanks, Nancy!

Thanks to spongeworthy, who writes, "This is so gay. I may need to [censored] on a filthy hooker just to get my compass back on true north. It's that gay."

You can ask him how he found this.

Posted by: Ace at 08:33 AM | Comments (23)
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Gina from PinupsForVets wrote to me, or rather to "Hello!"

Hello!

First of all, I wanted to thank you so much for posting the first time about my PinUp Calendar project. I had some sales SPECIFICALLY because of your post and I can't thank you enough for that.

I'm going to ignore the fact that she doesn't seem to know even my fake blog name and just live the fantasy.

Because of the wonderful blog world, I was contacted by... the Company Commander for the Medical Hold Platoon, Balboa Hospital, San Diego California.

He asked me to come down to visit the Marines in a few weeks. They treat many wounded Marines from Iraq and Afghanistan there. I would love to be able to bring 55 calendars to all of them. So, if you can mention this the next time you post, I would appreciate it so much!!! And of course, if you can add a picture along with the post...I know that always helps.

That marine commander wrote that I should do what she says.

Ummm... okay.

Number of ej-- Eh. Who has time to keep track.

I was told there was to be no math on this blog.

I feel like Bob Hope. With serious wood.

AF Video: "Herosmith" of the AEF10 says his fellow flyboys put this video together, and I believe him.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 06:42 PM | Comments (123)
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Great, now we're violating the sovereignty of another nation.

What hath Michelle Malkin and the right-leaning bloggers wrought?

Update: Jamil Hussein reports that 400 people, mostly women, children, and adorable ponies, were killed in the botched attack.

"Major Blow," Maybe, Says Mary Katherine Ham: If we got the guys we were looking for. And who knows? It does happen from time to time, though the MSM chooses not to dwell upon such unpleasant outcomes.

The targets included the senior al Qaeda leader in East Africa and an al Qaeda operative wanted for his involvement in the 1998 bombings of two American embassies in Africa, Martin reports. Those terror attacks killed more than 200 people...

The gunship flew from its base in Dijibouti down to the southern tip of Somalia, Martin reports, where the al Qaeda operatives had fled after being chased out of the capital of Mogadishu by Ethiopian troops backed by the United States.

Once they started moving, the al Qaeda operatives became easier to track, and the U.S. military started preparing for an air strike, using unmanned aerial drones to keep them under surveillance and moving the aircraft carrier Eisenhower out of the Persian Gulf toward Somalia. But when the order was given, the mission was assigned to the AC-130 gunship operated by the U.S. Special Operations command.

If the attack got the operatives it was aimed at, reports Martin, it would deal a major blow to al Qaeda in East Africa.

I Question The Timing: Isn't it awfully convenient we go after the embassy bombers the very week Nancy Pelosi takes the gavel?

Almost as if to undermine her, and to distract away from the miraculous event of a woman leading Congress?

And to cast doubt in the minds of Americans about the decision they made on November 7th?

Sure, this would have been a lot better before November 7th, but the left has argued before that strikes on Al Qaeda occurring after elections were nevertheless deliberately timed... to, uhh, reassure people for voting Republican.

Posted by: Ace at 04:46 PM | Comments (160)
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We are apparently quite powerful in the eyes of the left.

The Big Tough, Smart New Meme from the left is that it's bloggers, not the AP or Jamil Hussein himself, who got him in dutch with the Iraqi government.

Jonah Goldberg goes through a lot of interesting, but entirely unnecessary, reasoning here to explain why this isn't so, until a reader slaps him with the clue-bat and reminds him:

You're not missing anything. The whole "bloggers put him in danger" line is a load of BS — the AP cited him BY NAME AND TITLE 61 times.

See, the left wants to pretend -- they're on the left; they get to live in a magical childish imagination; that's their God-given right -- that Jamil Hussein was an anonymous source only named by the AP after pressure by blogs to give him up.

Of course that's not even close to true. The reason people got interested in this at all was because he was a named source -- named 61 damn times, actually, apparently with his blessing -- who no one else had heard of.

So, if naming the guy is a big problem, maybe AP or Jamil Hussein should have thought of that.

But now the meme gets even more absurd, because some jagoff, whose useless leftard blog I won't link (but thanks for the tip, buddy!) now wants me to apologize for the death of an entirely different AP reporter.

We don't even know why this guy was killed, or by whom. My New Bestest Buddy In The Whole Wide World seems pretty hellasure it's by some pro-government death squad taking out AP reporters because Michelle Malkin wills them to, though, thus again exhibiting this leftist caution in engaging in wild speculation that I've heard so very much about.

Here's the email, with the AP quotes blocked off doubly. He provides no link so I can't even check to see what he may have conveniently forgotten to include.

How's it going this morning, Michelle?

BAGHDAD, Iraq: The body of an Associated Press employee was found shot in the back of the head Friday, six days after he was last seen by his family leaving for work.

Ahmed Hadi Naji, 28, was the fourth AP staffer to die violently in the Iraq war and the second AP employee killed in less than a month. He had been a messenger and occasional cameraman for the AP for 2 1/2 years.

"All of us at AP share the pain and grief being felt by Ahmed's family and friends," said AP President and CEO Tom Curley. "The situation for our journalists in Iraq is unprecedented in AP's 161-year history of covering wars and conflicts. The courage of our Iraqi colleagues and their dedication to the story stand as an example to the world of journalism's enduring value."

Bet you're having a fine day, right? Morning coffee all steaming hot for you? Computer fired up, sunshine streaming through your window, traffic going by outside? Nice out, where you are, Michelle?

How'd you sleep?

In addition to his wife, Naji is survived by 4-month-old twins, a boy, Zaid, and a girl, Rand.

Well, for one thing, moron, Michelle's headed straight into this very dangerous area to, you know, act as a reporter.

This is the same sort of cat who'll praise his MSM coreligionists as being heroes for working in a place where dozens of reporters have been killed since 2003... and then conveniently forget that when it's time to pretend that reporters have only been shot since Michelle Malkin mentioned Jamil Hussein.

Now let's go back to Jonah Goldberg.

He's right -- the left seems to care about reporters much more than "ordinary" people, and a hell of a lot more than our soldiers.

And the fact that this poor victim was a non-American -- well that makes him even more worthy, and his death even more tragic.

Smart, tough.

Posted by: Ace at 04:34 PM | Comments (32)
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