January 09, 2007

Sen. Tim Johnson's Brain Functions Upgraded From "Critical" To "Patty Murray"
— Ace

His overall condition was upgraded to fair, actually.

It's nice that's he seems likely to survive, but he still can't breath without a respirator and his only act of communication seems to be squeezing his wife's hand.


Posted by: Ace at 02:40 PM | Comments (18)
Post contains 59 words, total size 1 kb.

Obama To Declare On Martin Luther King, Jr., Day?
— Ace

It woud be great symbolism if he did.

I'm not sure what it's symbolic of, but it has to be symbolic of something.

Maybe perception vs. reality or whatever my 12th grade AP teacher was always going on about.

Wait, no, that was a theme.

Marion Barry just emailed me to say, "I was ahead of my time."

Mark Levin snarked... It's a big deal that Mitt Romney's a Mormon, but no big deal that Barack Obama did blow?

Talking about a president's or presidential candidate's youthful cocaine use is sooo dated. What, are we perpetually living in the years 1999 to 2006 or something?

I think not.


Chris Matthews Just Wrote To Tell Me... he believes Barack Obama should easily win the Hottest Hooters Girl contest.

He says Obama's got "far and away the sweetest ass."

Thanks to Jack Straw.

Posted by: Ace at 02:20 PM | Comments (14)
Post contains 159 words, total size 1 kb.

Grim Milestone: Ten Millionth Hit Coming
— Ace

Sometime in the next eight or twelve hours this site will get its ten millionth unique hit from one of its sixteen readers.

That link would prove it, were SiteMeter working at the moment, which it's not, so you'll just have to trust me.

I'd like to thank all sixteen of you, and extend a special thanks to the spouses who do not give you any sex and thus compel you into a dark lonely "life" lived out on the Internet, as well as the teachers who shaped you in your early years to be goldbricking layabouts who do nothing but fuck about on the computer all day long (Gee, isn't it funny traffic plunges after 5pm every day?), and of course your incompetent bosses who apparently cannot be bothered to notice you're about as crucial to your companies' success as, say, a box of stale circus peanuts.

What will the ten millionth visitor win?

Well, let me answer that question with another question:

What the fuck do I win when it happens?

Yeah.

That's what I figured.

So we can both dance around with our Big-Ass Piles of Invisible Internet Money when the golden moment arrives, okay?

Posted by: Ace at 01:50 PM | Comments (100)
Post contains 210 words, total size 1 kb.

Defundomania!
— Ace

The first part of this link has Ted Kennedy's statement that "Iraq is George Bush's Vietnam."

Vietnam? That seems to overstate things. Let's compromise on "Iraq is George Bush's Chappequiddick." So you're both sort of tied.

The second part is about rhe various Democratic threats to defund the war. Did I say "threats"? I meant "posturings." Appeasing the base while being very careful about not doing anything that might actually commit themselves to a position.

Jim Geraghty was complaining of the continuing tendency towards this the other day.

They're continuing to behave like the out-party, free to say whatever they like without worrying about actually putting their rhetoric into action.

Some, like Instapundit, thought they might grow up a bit when they got the power they so craved.

That always seemed rather naive to me.

Anyway, if this war really is unwinnable and another Vietnam, then by all means, Senate "Leader" Reid, use your legislative power to end it. Do not issue nonbinding resolutions that only serve to undercut troop morale while continuing to expose them to danger abroad.

As Sir Mix-A-Lot said: Put 'em on the glass.

Posted by: Ace at 01:31 PM | Comments (29)
Post contains 190 words, total size 1 kb.

Dutch Treat
— AndrewR

From the Brussels Journal, a new way of dealing with the resurgent Taliban:

There is some commotion in the Netherlands following a report in The [London] Times (6 January) that Dutch troops in Afghanistan have found a new way of beating the Taliban. They invite them round to tea.

...

The Times reports how the Dutch military HQ in Uruzgan province, on the fringes of Taliban country, is run as an open house where locals, including Taliban sympathizers and fighters, are encouraged to air their grievances and talk politics, whilst munching nuts and dried fruit and sipping tea. The reaction to the “Dutch model” is mixed. Some locals say the Dutch act “with great respect for local culture, traditions and tribal leaders – that has had a positive impact.”

I understand that these meetings feature a wide selection of hors d'oeuvres and sweetmeats, followed by cigars and a friendly game of touch football. They originally offered pony rides, but the Afghan warlords couldn't seem to grasp the concept of not gang-raping the infidel horse.

You know what else would have a "positive impact", Holland?

Shooting a few of these guys once in a while.


hans brinker.jpg
Pussies.

Posted by: AndrewR at 01:23 PM | Comments (31)
Post contains 198 words, total size 1 kb.

Good Hitch Piece on Jefferson and the "Mohammedans"
— Ace

Littered, as usual, with his strident antipathy to Chistianity, but worth reading for yet another recounting of Jefferson's dealings with the Muslim Barbary Pirates.

Thousands of vessels were taken, and more than a million Europeans and Americans sold into slavery. The fledgling United States of America was in an especially difficult position, having forfeited the protection of the British Royal Navy. Under this pressure, Congress gave assent to the Treaty of Tripoli, negotiated by Jefferson's friend Joel Barlow, which stated roundly that "the government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion, as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion or tranquility of Musselmen." This has often been taken as a secular affirmation, which it probably was, but the difficulty for secularists is that it also attempted to buy off the Muslim pirates by the payment of tribute.

Uh, it's also the prostration of a dhimmi, isn't it?

That this might not be so easy was discovered by Jefferson and John Adams when they went to call on Tripoli's envoy to London, Ambassador Sidi Haji Abdrahaman. They asked him by what right he extorted money and took slaves in this way. As Jefferson later reported to Secretary of State John Jay, and to the Congress:

The ambassador answered us that [the right] was founded on the Laws of the Prophet, that it was written in their Koran, that all nations who should not have answered their authority were sinners, that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as prisoners, and that every Mussulman who should be slain in battle was sure to go to Paradise.

Medieval as it is, this has a modern ring to it. Abdrahaman did not fail to add that a commission paid directly to Tripoli—and another paid to himself—would secure some temporary lenience. I believe on the evidence that it was at this moment that Jefferson decided to make war on the Muslim states of North Africa as soon as the opportunity presented itself. And, even if I am wrong, we can be sure that the dispatch of the U.S. Navy and Marine Corps to the Barbary shore was the first and most important act of his presidency. It took several years of bombardment before the practice of kidnap and piracy and slavery was put down, but put down it was, Quranic justification or not.

He also notes that Keith Ellison ought to apologize for his involvement with the Nation of Islam.


Loose Shit on Hitch?: Commenters are bothered by this figure, which seems crank.

Thousands of vessels were taken, and more than a million Europeans and Americans sold into slavery.

More than a million?

That seems pretty high, doesn't it?

Posted by: Ace at 01:13 PM | Comments (33)
Post contains 490 words, total size 3 kb.

Shia-Sunni Violence Engulfs Detroit
— Ace

Withdraw, now.

I'm tired of paying in American blood and treasure to prop up a lawless, corrupt kleptocracy.

Posted by: Ace at 12:22 PM | Comments (39)
Post contains 26 words, total size 1 kb.

Fake Alimony Payment Upheld In Fake Gay Marriage Fake Divorce
— Ace

No, seriously, it was all fake. That's not just an editorial comment.

A Westchester businessman is a not-so-gay divorcé after a judge ruled his same-sex marriage was illegal - but he still can't get back the $780,000 he paid in "alimony."

...

The couple got hitched on Valentine's Day 2005, and "had been same-sex domestic partners" since 2001, when Green, "a person of considerable assets and income, invited plaintiff to move in with him. [Gonzalez] was a student with little or no income at the time," the judge's decision says.

...

The pair signed a separation agreement drafted by Green's lawyer that called for Gonzalez to sign the Massachusetts ski house back over to Green and for Green to give Gonzalez a one-time support payment of $780,000, said Gonzalez's lawyer, Eric Wrubel.

Gonzalez filed for divorce on the grounds of "cruel and inhuman treatment" last January. Green countered that there couldn't be a divorce, and the marriage should be declared "null and void" because under Massachusetts law, same-sex marriages are only valid if the couples stay in the Bay State or move to another state where gay marriage is recognized.

New York's highest court ruled in July that gay marriage isn't legal in the Empire State, so Gangel-Jacob agreed the marriage should be voided.

But she refused to void the separation agreement, saying that although "the law of New York does not recognize the validity of the cohabiting parties' marriage, it does recognize the validity of the cohabiting parties' right to settle their affairs by agreement."

Wrubel praised Gangel-Jacob's landmark decision as "excellent" for the gay community.

Sure, hustlers getting paid off bigtime for sham chickenhawk marriages.

It's a victory for us all.

Admittedly, that's probably pretty much the way things would go in a straight "divorce" based on sham marriage.

Posted by: Ace at 12:20 PM | Comments (23)
Post contains 320 words, total size 2 kb.

Rosie O'Donnell Viciously Attacks Barbara Walters; Four Newlyweds, Two Teenaged Girls, "Nicholas" From Eight Is Enough Reported Dead
— Ace

This is one of those catfights where you're decidedly not hoping for a kiss.

Whoops. There's the link.

The fight's about Trump, I think.

Although there is a definite subtext about who ate Rosie's KFC chicken tenders.

The gossip column says that Rosie was upset that Barbara Walters didn't specifically call Trump a "liar." The tension built as Walters tried to avoid the elephant in the room, but then Rosie screamed "I will not be ignored!!"

That was the hackiest joke I've ever written, and I've written a lot of 'em.

At yet, it's Rosie. So I'm okay with it.


Posted by: Ace at 11:39 AM | Comments (36)
Post contains 136 words, total size 1 kb.

Top Ten Signs You're At A Somali Wedding Party
— Ace

10. Dress is strictly black-tie and black-bandana facial mask

9. Invitations promise "Dinner at Nine, Dancing 'till Midnight, Suicide-Bombing 'till ?..."

8. The wedding band's rendition of Signed, Sealed, Delivered contains a bassline which incorporates coded messages to Hezbollah

7. When the bride tosses the "bouquet," panicked guests run away in shrieking horror

6. The buzz of the party is whether or not the bride will take the husband's nom de guerre

5. The best man's toast concludes, "Health, wealth, and happiness, and death to the pig-monkey Jews and infidel Crusaders"

4. The couple is registered at the Syrian Intelligence Agency

3. According to tradition, the bride's father pays for the wedding; the groom's father provides the new couple with a SATCOM radio and Katyushka surface-to-surface missiles

2. Dinner selections include prime rib, stuffed chicken, and binary-form sarin gas


...and the Number One Sign You're at an Somali "Wedding Party"...

1. The groom sports the traditional Islamist beard, as does the bride

...

Eh, someone suggested I repost it.

Posted by: Ace at 11:29 AM | Comments (6)
Post contains 187 words, total size 1 kb.

<< Page 31 >>
79kb generated in CPU 0.0754, elapsed 0.3572 seconds.
44 queries taking 0.3346 seconds, 151 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.