Frickin' icebacks.

REYKJAVIK (AFP) - An alternative beauty pageant to be held in a remote Icelandic town will reward contestants' wrinkles, saggy breasts and other bodily imperfections and hopes to challenge Western ideas of beauty, organisers said Wednesday.

"Anyone can make the rules about what beauty is, we want to change the rules," one of the contest's organisers, Matthhildur Helgadottir, told AFP.

"We think it's just coincidence if you have big breasts. How come this is beautiful? We are trying to show how ridiculous this is," Helgadottir said.

Yeah, good luck with that.
Does it surprise anyone that the organizers are feminists?

And puffin- fellators, of course.

OK, Scandi, so you weren't lucky enough to be born with the genes for a great rack or a pretty face. Boo hoo.

Your boyfriend is a reindeer. As long as the alfalfa's green, you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

The more I hear about feminism, the more I think it is merely political cover for ugly women who refuse to cultivate pleasant personalities.

Thanks to skinbad, whose great-great-grandfather was a puffin rustler. This should not be construed as an attempt to malign the character of his descendants.

Posted by: LauraW. at 07:43 AM | Comments (74)
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It's like California, but with bad weather.

State Sen. Eric Oemig, D-Kirkland, has introduced a resolution calling on Congress to investigate the Bush administration's handling of the Iraq war and consider impeachment of the president and vice president.

The sane people are telling him to get bent. Some of these sane people are Democrats. It's a wonderful thing.

Alex Glass, a Murray spokeswoman, said that when [Democratic Sen. Patty] Murray was in the Washington state capital of Olympia last week, she met with Democratic leaders and rank-and-file members in the House and Senate. Her message was simple, Glass said: "'I have two words for anyone who wants to impeach the president: Dick Cheney.' "

BOO!

Heh heh heh.

The dude can cock-block a whole state full of moonbats.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Posted by: LauraW. at 08:26 PM | Comments (173)
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I should be getting in to DC around 9 tonight. I have no plans, so I'll probably just be hanging out with the geeks in the Omni-Shoreham hotel bar. It is, I believe, at 2500 Calvert Ave.

You don't have to be registered at CPAC just to show up at the hotel bar, of course.

And if anyone is planning on coming in, from the general direction of, um, Dulles Airport, let me know. Just, you know. Out of pure curiosity. I assure you there is no agenda at work here.

Posted by: Ace at 12:47 PM | Comments (74)
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Not sure what this will accomplish.

CINCINNATI: Lawmakers in Ohio said on Wednesday they want to force convicted sex offenders to use a fluorescent-green license plate on their cars so they can be easily identified.

A Republican and a Democrat in the state legislature have joined forces to propose the law, which echoes measures in several US states that require convicted drunken drivers to use a yellow, pink or red plate on their cars.

"The fluorescent-green license plate will make the most egregious sex offenders easily identifiable," state Democratic representative Michael DeBose said in a statement.

These new plates....are they going to be welded on? Because evil probably knows how to use a wrench when it wants to be on the down-low for a few days.

Posted by: LauraW. at 10:24 AM | Comments (90)
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What a shock:

Sen. John McCain is the only major Republican presidential candidate who will not address the nation's premier gathering of conservatives this year.

Sponsors of the Conservative Political Action Conference, which begins today in Washington and brings together thousands of conservative leaders and grass-roots activists, say the Arizona Republican has "dissed" organizers by attempting to schedule a private reception for attendees after rejecting invitations to speak at the event.

"It was a classical McCain move, dissing us by going behind our backs," said William J. Lauderback, executive vice president of the American Conservative Union.

Convening through Saturday at a sold-out Omni Shoreham Hotel, the 34th annual CPAC will feature personal appearances and nationally televised speeches by every Republican presidential hopeful except Mr. McCain, said David A. Keene, chairman of the ACU, which, along with Young America's Foundation and Human Events, is a principal sponsor of CPAC.

Conservative activists have speculated that Mr. McCain did not want to be seen on television "pandering" to Republican "right-wingers" but wanted to court those same activists at a reception in the same hotel.

I'll be heading down later today, thanks to your generous contributions. I had planned on going tomorrow, but Rudy's speaking tomorrow at 12, and I figure I have to get down there tonight if I want to catch him.

"Wasted" Lives In Iraq: He also said US lives had been "wasted" in Iraq, which isn't really all that objectionable, if you concede that the war hasn't been managed as well as possible -- ergo, it must be the case that lives were lost than didn't need to be.

That may make logical sense, but once again he's deliberately using the language of the left, even when using it differently than Barack Obama, who meant all lives had been wasted there as the entire effort is for naught.

So John McCain actually disagrees with Barack Obama's statement, and yet, for reasons unfathomable, deliberately offers him political cover by using the word "wasted" in a different fashion.

Why?

He seems to just get off on making things difficult for Republicans.

The DNC, in an odd but perhaps predictable twist, now calls on John McCain to apologize for his use of the term "wasted" lives, arguing that it makes no sense to concede lives have been wasted and yet support the surge.

So, a cock-up all the way around.

You know, while George W. Bush had his strengths, he wasn't exactly the strongest candidate in history. There's a reason McCain lost, despite his impressive biography. The man's political instincts are almost willfully self-destructive.

Posted by: Ace at 10:21 AM | Comments (109)
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Instapunk thought it would be a good idea to compare the uses of profanity -- specifically, George Carlin's seven dirty words -- on the big rightwing blogs as opposed to the leftwing blogs.

Even as he was writing his post, he saw what was on the horizon, and had to note that Goldstein and I didn't really count, being "comedians.'

Well, Newsbuckit ran the searches and yeah, I'm the worst offender on the right.

And you guys, too, I imagine. Not sure if it searches the comments (the comments are now on that "minx" address), but you can all give yourselves a pat on the back.

Actually, it's probably even worse, because they probably didn't search the old blogspot site.

Then again, it's mostly this guy's fault:

"Aww, eat me, you pederast shitbirds."

...and this guy's fault, too.

Thanks to Brown Line, Rocketeer, Portly Pirate, and the Cat Lady.

Posted by: Ace at 10:17 AM | Comments (93)
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Wow, busy morning for the ban-hammer.

The following people are banned for calling Ace a faggot:

genghis
Lipstick
Geoff
Nice Deb
Watcher
Vercingetorix
Iblis
mbruce
CraigC
Ray Negro
Vinnie
Warden
Cthulhu
Beth
Sean M.
Barbula
Pablo
Aaaand there are probably more. Don't worry, I'll get around to everybody.

I like this new Esmay approach to blogging; it's all about Total Quality Control now, bitches. Get in line or get the fuck out.

Yeeeeeaaaargh! How do you like me now?

Hm. Sitemeter's slowing to a crawl. That's odd for a Thursday morning.
Must be my computer.

UPDATE: Now you festering sores are bubbling mean things about me, too.
FINE.

Weakness is provocative, Ace.

Upping the ante: now in addition to bannination, AOSHQ will be sending Hollywood star Verne Troyer over to each and every one of your homes to shiv you in the leg with a knitting needle.
How do you like them apples?

Yeah, Verne Troyer is a big AOSHQ fan. He actually emailed me to volunteer. Came up with the whole idea himself. Already had most of you mapped out on his car GPS.
Pretty scary little dude, to tell the truth.

Oh man, This could be bad. I feel terrible. Look, if you see him pull up to your house, pour a line of wood ashes across your front step. He can't cross the ashes.

Posted by: LauraW. at 06:25 AM | Comments (126)
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Ace,

You, sir, are a goof.

That's right. A goof.

Make no mistake: There comes a time when all that is needed for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.

So rather than be forced into an intolerable state of "dhimmitude" by this blogs grand Aceatollah, I have decided to take a stand myself.

And, like the great Patrick Henry, I regret that I have but one blog life to give for my country.

Am I leaving?

No.

In fact, quite the opposite.

I am going to risk my blog credentials by taking the new edicts seriously. Literally, you might say. Like the good strict constructionist I am.

For I know no one by the name of Mary KathErine Ham.

But I do know a woman by the name of Mary KathArine Ham.

And I have poems a-plenty just waiting to see the light of day.

That's right.

Poems a-plenty.

With opening stanzas like-

"I greet each new day with anticipation,
some might even say jubilation,
at the prospect that I might soon be stationed,
in front of my computer watching a new HamNation.

I check as soon as I see dawn breaking,
to see if a new one she's been making,
For unlike the slumberous seed under winter's caking,
I dare not chance missing some Spring awakening."

So, here is your chance to man up and do the right thing. Revoke these cruel and egregious edicts and return to your senses.

Admit you went too far, lest you force me to publish the rest of these works.

And if you think these are good, wait until you see the ones I've written for Bethany@RealVerse, Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Pamela at Atlas Shrugs, Laura W., the cute chick who I've never met who lives 3 doors down from me in my building, and the Bush Twins.

Those really kick ass.

It's not too late for you to reverse course, admit your errors, and save the readers, and MKH in particular, the pain of having to read these poems in their entirety.

Or are you too big a homo to admit you were wrong?

Posted by: Jack M. at 05:02 AM | Comments (26)
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