They have a woman named Michela Brambilla.

Life just ain't fair.

All my life I've been looking for a red-headed woman with a passion for conservative politics, and she ends up in Italy, creating a new political party with former Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi.

Now, I know I will get angry comments if I don't post this babe's picture somewhere. So, I dug around on YouTube and came up with one that I think will satisfy your curiosity.

And the fact that it basically features 2 minutes of slow-motion close ups on her legs crossing? Never even entered into my decision to choose this particular footage.

Did I mention that she was a former Miss Italy contestant? No? Well she was.

Sigh.

We get Cankles the Hildebeast and Italy gets Jessica Rabbit.

At least I still have Fox News' Ms. Suzanne Sena to provide me with some measure of comfort.

Which is good. Because everytime I watch that YouTube video, I start to feel aForza Italia in my pants.

Posted by: Jack M. at 09:33 PM | Comments (69)
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Take heart practitioners of the Ace of Spades LifestyleÂ…showing up in the address book of a hooker may not hurt you if you become a US Senator after all.

When last we heard from Sen. David Vitter (R-Louisiana) he was apologizing for his “serious sin” of being the highest profile name to emerge from the “DC Madam" scandal.

Luckily for Vitter, it turns out the good people Louisiana are as forgiving as his wife is (well, in public anyway):

Sixty-six percent of voters either strongly or somewhat approved of Vitter's job performance in a survey conducted Aug. 3-9 by Southern Media & Opinion Research Inc., a Baton Rouge firm. Twenty-two percent said they disapproved and 11 percent did not have an opinion.

Considering LouisianaÂ’s, er, wide ranging and colorful political history, this isnÂ’t that big of a surprise. I am guessing his outspoken opposition to this yearÂ’s comprehensive immigration reform piece of shit didnÂ’t hurt either.

Oh and Congresses overall approval rating? Down to 18%. Maybe Nancy and Harry need to call 1-800-Get-Laid.

Posted by: DrewM. at 06:24 PM | Comments (22)
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Uhm. Ok. You can't win. Sherman couldn't win. You both made a big deal out of that.

The difference seems to be he burned Atlanta and took Savannah, and you drove Philip Morris to Richmond.

Well done sir! Very well done.

So sit down and shut up now, thank you.

(you do realize you're passing this off to Dan Rather, don't you?)

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 04:53 PM | Comments (17)
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Now that's some libertarian thinking! Why shouldn't criminal punishment be voluntary?

It almost sounds like something out of a film, but for the Norwegian Correctional Services (Kriminalomsorgen), the problem is real. 20 percent of convicted criminals simply fail to show up to serve their prison term, according to figures for 2007.

Criminals sentenced to long prison terms are particularly prone to bunking off. Almost every fourth person sentenced to six months or more in prison failed to meet in 2006. The situation is only becoming graver, with a total a 1799 people failing to show up during the whole of last year, compared to as many as 1068 people so far this year.

"ItÂ’s difficult to make plans for the prison terms when we have no idea who will show up and who won't," said Ellinor Houm, director of the Norwegian Correctional Services, section for eastern Norway.

What if they threw a prison and no one came?

MattM writes:

Everyone knows that Scandi criminal trials are typically decided by some combination of divination magic and rock fights. But it appears that their criminal justice system is also suffering from another problem: 1/4th of all lutefish-tongued devils convicted and sentenced to prison this year failed to report for their prison sentence. As the article makes clear, this is very rude of the criminals. But failing to show up to prison after youÂ’ve been sentenced is not illegal. (Other activities that are not illegal: snow-humping, the love between a man and a penguin, Uwe Boll worship)

Crime rates in Sweden, incidentally, tend to be higher, sometimes quite a bit higher, than in the uncivilized Wild West of the US. Almost double the per-capita murder rate, 10% more rapes.

Posted by: Ace at 03:34 PM | Comments (43)
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So cute. Such a grand romantic gesture, just putting your heart out there like a high hanging fastball.

But ask Charlie Brown what happens to high hanging fastballs. She is long, she is deep, she is... gonnnne...!

Thanks to JackStraw.

Posted by: Ace at 03:15 PM | Comments (25)
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Thanks to everyone who pointed this out. To be honest, it's like a birthday, an artificial commemoration of just how little you've managed to accomplish so far. A grim milestone of futility, is what I'm saying.

But thanks for being part of that futility.

Meanwhile the non-unique visits is approaching 25 million, which seems a cooler number.

Posted by: Ace at 02:47 PM | Comments (44)
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Sixty million? I don't know. That's a guesstimate. I learned how to do that in an SAT prep course, to help me avoid "the Joe Bloggs answer."

Probably a long time though. Look, all I know is that I should never pick answer A.

Don't forget to bundle up if you're headed out in New York City today. After all, it is August 21.

The city along with the rest of the tri-state region is feeling the chilly effect of a cold front sweeping through the region, accompanied by cool rain showers.

As of 4 p.m., the high temperature for the day in Central Park was just 59 degrees.

The normal high for today is 82 degrees. The normal low is 67, still well above what the city is expected to see today. Forecasters say temperatures could warm up to only around 61, which would break a city record, though the high fell back again to 58 degrees at 3 o'clock.

"If this high holds up, it will smash the previous record for the coldest high temperature for the day, which is 64 degrees, set back in 1999," CBS 2 meteorologist Jason Cali told wcbstv.com.

In fact, if it doesn't warm up at all for the rest of the day, the 59-degree high would tie the record for the coldest high temperature ever for the month of August in New York City, when it reached just 59 degrees in 1911.

1911? I guess I highballed it with that sixty millions years thing.

Note well this is the first story about the weather in NYC which does not mention global warming as a culprit in, if I'm counting right, the past sixty million years.

Good global warming links below. more...

Posted by: Ace at 02:22 PM | Comments (45)
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I didn't link this earlier because I didn't know the report contained some tasty, juicy red meat. CIA was deficient in hunting Al Qaeda? Really? Who knew?

But this is interesting. Savor it, because this is the last time you'll ever read it:

The CIA’s analysis of al-Qaida before Sept. 2001 was lacking. No comprehensive report focusing on bin Laden was written after 1993, and no comprehensive report laying out the threats of 2001 was assembled. “A number of important issues were covered insufficiently or not at all,” the report found.

But wait -- I was assured that Richard Clarke presented a full powerpoint presentation to the Bush national security people that painstakingly detailed the al-Qaeda threat and presented a full plan for taking them out in Afghanistan.

The media told me so. It must be true.

Posted by: Ace at 02:03 PM | Comments (19)
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Magic Carpet Ride:

A dwarf performer at the Edinburgh fringe festival had to be rushed to hospital after his penis got stuck to a vacuum cleaner during an act that went horribly awry.

Daniel Blackner, or "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf", was due to perform at the Circus of Horrors at the festival known for its oddball, offbeat performances.

The main part of his act saw him appear on stage with a vacuum cleaner attached to his member through a special attachment.

The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the 20 minutes required.

He then joined it directly to his organ. The end result? A solid attachment, laughter, mortification and ... hospitalisation.

Wait-- they're paying people to do that now? Talk about missed opportunities.

Thanks to MichaelB.

Posted by: Ace at 01:57 PM | Comments (22)
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From this guy's very cool series of glacial cave photos. As you can see, these precious and fragile cryoecospheres, teeming with a rich diversity of no life whatsoever, are threatened by the Invisible Killer CO2.

Via Undercover Black Man, who is less than impressed with comparisons between illegal immigrants and runaway slaves.

So we've had the Jews-during-the-Holocaust comparison from The Mustache of Outrage, and now we've got the comparison to slaves.

Next up: Illegal immigrants are being treated like just like homos. Is not the right to work in a country not your own alike the right to marry someone of your gender? Indeed, I submit the two rest on legal and moral foundations of similar solidity.

The illegal immigrant lobby might as well piss off all the big identity groups while they're at it.

Thanks to Protein Wisdom.

Posted by: Ace at 12:22 PM | Comments (20)
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