Declares? Present-tense declares?

Son, you haven't been paying attention.

I guess Karl Rove successfully "distracted" your attention from the long-running open war on brown people with that whole 9/11 dealio he did.

Anyone in the mood for a drinking game? Drink every time you read insipid cant that every college sophomore uses when he gets his "big break" writing an article for the unofficial progressive paper. Chug everytime he thinks he's being funny in a witty sort of way, but is actually being a fuckin' retard.

Let the pogroms begin good times roll!

That's a drink. And then a chug.

Maybe this will be part of Newt's grand strategy to campaign on withdrawal from Iraq: bring the troops home to fight the insurgent immigrant menace at home.

Chug.

The rationalizations will no doubt be entertaining from the wingnut base, MalKKKin's place and LGF as they attempt justify such Dhimmitude when anihilation at the hands of the Islamofascist horde has been their raison d'etre for six years now.

Wow. I don't think I made up a rule for something like that. I guess everyone has to take a curare-coated Amazon tree frog and stick it up his ass until he begins hallucinating anally.

I don't think mere alcohol can cover it.

And... we're all dead. So that thankful disobligates us from reading on, to the inevitable--

Jackboots de rigeur.

Jackboots. Drink. "De rigeur" -- making sure to put it into italics 'cuz it's French-- chug. What annoys me about that "de rigeur" is that I know for a fact this moron was really proud about that -- he really thought it was showin' off his fancy book-learnin' to drop a French phrase so commonplace it appears in American dictionaries and usually people don't even bother italicizing it. It was French. 100 years ago. Now it's just active-vocabulary English. This is the guy who doesn't know the difference between coup d'etat, coup de gras, coup de main, or Coupe de Ville, but he uses them anyway and he's so proud when he does, 'cuzzin they're French and therefore impressive mindbrain wordterms.

What a douche. (That's a French word for "shower," by the way.)

Cross-posted on Yahoo. Go figure. Yahoo is now posting this kind of insipid shit as "opinion."

'Cause, see, HuffPo is a real news site and all, and this you're reading is just... I don't know. Dumb. Not smart like Kos and HuffPo, most assuredly.

Anyway, funny, funny nuanced stuff. Not like the "cartoonishly ideological" twaddle we write here.

Posted by: Ace at 01:17 PM | Comments (75)
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With three dead coalition soldiers, alas.

Tell me, Chris Matthews, since you are so fond of claiming this in regard to Iraq: Did we make more terrorists than we killed today?

If so, then why do you claim to support the War in Afghanistan? Obviously even on a "good day" like today it's really a bad day. We killed 50 and created, oh, let's say 75 new terrorists, so we end the day 25 in the hole.

Or is this some magical property of terrorists only in Iraq? Is it only terrorists in Iraq who are possessed of this Hydra-like cut-one-head-off-and-two-grow-back property?

Tell me, Chris Matthews and all other liberals: If it's true that we make more terrorists than we ever kill, why do you posture as supporting any military force against terrorists, anywhere, at any time, in any circumstances?

Posted by: Ace at 01:06 PM | Comments (8)
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I always liked the more bookish one anyway.

Deep down, they're the real wildcats.

So there's still hope.

Posted by: Ace at 12:52 PM | Comments (36)
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DU, DKos (The New Political Center of America &trade , HuffPo, and sundry other jagoffs are well-nigh drenched in hot Che-Che tears over the conviction. They are brave enough to show their love for America by supporting its enemies who would kill Americans.

Those who love America show it by denigrating and beating the shit out of her at every opportunity. Call it the Ike Turner school of patriotism.

Well, I'm all about reconciliation. Perhaps a bit of sympathetic melody would help take away the sting?

I think so. I was going to go with Ray of Light because I thought liberals might need the emotional boost from that synthwhore classic, but I fear that such a bouncy, exuberant bit of electroskank might be interpreted the wrong way.

Like, baiting or something. Which is certainly not my intent.

So instead I offer them this. It's dark, it's sad, it's haunting.

Just like Jose Padilla's gorgeous brown eyes.

Enjoy.

Courage.

Posted by: Ace at 12:01 PM | Comments (138)
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One way to look at it: This hour was one of the best hours in stock market history.

Posted by: Ace at 11:53 AM | Comments (33)
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And this relatively high approval may translate to fair-to-high public respect for his report.

Why is a General who's actually winning a war after two years of bloody stalemate viewed positively by only 47% of the public?

Well, it shapes up like this:

47% think he's winning the war in Iraq.

Another 35% fear he's winning the war in Iraq.

Only the former, alas, count themselves as supporters.

The 35% is taking a wait-and-see attitude, hoping that Al Qaeda in Iraq can get its act together and win one for the Democratic National Committee.

Posted by: Ace at 11:37 AM | Comments (16)
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And yet... it seems to be empty.

Hm.

Maybe some should learn from this example.

Posted by: Ace at 11:06 AM | Comments (26)
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On all three charges.

Via Hot Air, the Daily Kos -- the new center of American politics -- is almost unanimous in their previous hopes for acquittal and current heart-ache over his conviction.

Now that's what I call patriotism -- emotionally investing in the fate of a Al Qaeda terrorist who conspired to craft a dirty bomb with which to kill or at least terrorize Americans.

These motherfuckers would be rooting for Osama bin Ladin to beat the rap were he captured rather than killed.

Is it too much to ask that those who pose as favoring law enforcement over military measures in fighting terrorism take the next step and actually, you know, support law enforcement measures and hope for good outcomes?

Ah. I guess that is too much for the Kossuckers.

Say it again;

They're not anti-war. They're not pro-law-enforcement. They're just on the other side.

Pop Open The Champagne:

more...

Posted by: Ace at 10:27 AM | Comments (50)
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To attend the coming rallies in DC in September (really a nice time to visit), and to give wavering Congressmen an immigration-fight style phone barrage.

Mr. Wonkette will sadly be unable to attend, due to his covert deployment to Khandahar.

Posted by: Ace at 10:21 AM | Comments (3)
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You may wonder why I'm linking this.

A game in which the object is to supply the caption of a stupid New Yorker cartoon? The meaningless doodles spoofed by Seinfeld in which Elaine Benes got published simply by ripping off a Ziggy?

At least the Ziggy joke made sense.

I'm linking this because See-Dub sent me a link the other day I didn't know what to do with. It seemed vaguely amusing but there was no topical hook. Or at least, I didn't know there was a topical hook. Turns out there was.

Well, these weisenheimers postulate that every single New Yorker doodle every scroobled is visually meaningless so that the caption, "Christ, what an asshole!" will always fit and always make sense. At least it will make as much sense as the official New Yorker caption.

True? False? I link, you decide.

Posted by: Ace at 10:10 AM | Comments (14)
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