I think this is the guy who famously shouted "No, no, no!" at the Paris Hilton thing, and I think he's some kind of plant for Jimmy Kimmel or something.

He does some more good work here. More subtle, but still funny.

Watching the Borat movie, I realized he had absolutely no social inhibitions; in social situations, he was fearless. No worries at all about what people might be thinking about him. This guy has that too. They're like a sort of superhero. What I wouldn't give to be able to turn off all my shame and embarrassment and do this kind of thing.

Posted by: Ace at 09:04 AM | Comments (24)
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Let's give Islamic theocratic governments their due -- they certainly seem to encourage normal healthy sexual behavior.

Staff at a German butcher's shop were shocked to discover a customer had hidden two sex toys in their sausages for transport to Dubai, police said on Wednesday.

"It was two latex dildos with a natural look," said a spokesman for police in the southwestern city of Mannheim.

After shopping there earlier in the day, the man, who spoke broken English, returned to the butcher's with two large "Schwartenmagen" sausages. He asked a shop assistant to wrap and cool them until he departed for Dubai the next day.

But the assistant noticed the goods had got heavier and alerted police. Officers discovered the man, who was about 50, had removed some of the meat and packed the dildos inside.

Question: How big do dildos have to be in order to appreciably notice the extra weight in a large sausage? Did his sex-partner dodge a bullet here or miss out?

Thanks to MarkS.

Posted by: Ace at 08:27 AM | Comments (48)
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We all know he's not a flight risk. It's not like he's a former running back with a penchant for leading police on a car chase.

A judge set bond at $125,000 for O.J. Simpson in an alleged armed robbery of sports memorabilia collectors.

Simpson stood before the judge, hands cuffed, wearing a blue jail jumpsuit as the charges were read.

He answered quietly in a hoarse voice and nodded as Justice of the Peace Joe Bonaventure Jr. detailed charges of kidnapping and robbery, among others, and laid out restrictions for his release.

Simpson did not enter a plea.

Simpson has said he was trying to retrieve memorabilia that was stolen from him. The charges that could land him in prison for years if convicted.

OJ's been deliberately evading a judgment against him for wrongful death for years. Doesn't that suggest that perhaps he's not entirely happy to abide by a judge's order?

More:

more...

Posted by: Ace at 08:07 AM | Comments (34)
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Only 18 Senators have committed to voting no on this back-door front-door new and not-improved mass amnesty.

Fire up your phone lines. According to Numbers USA, “the senators noted below voted NO on the Comprehensive Amnesty in June, but have not yet pledged to vote NO on the DREAM Act amnesty. Phone them by contacting the Senate switchboard at 202-224-3121.”

Alaska: Murkowski, Stevens
Arkansas: Pryor
Colorado: Allard
Idaho: Crapo
Indiana: Bayh
Iowa: Grassley, Harkin
Kansas: Brownback
Louisiana: Landrieu
Maine: Collins
Michigan: Stabenow
Minnesota: Coleman
Mississippi: Cochran
Missouri: Bond, McCaskill
Montana: Baucus, Tester
Nebraska: Nelson (Ben)
Nevada: Ensign
New Hampshire: Sununu
New Mexico: Bingaman, Domenici
North Dakota: Dorgan
Ohio: Brown, Voinovich
Oklahoma: Coburn
Oregon: Smith
South Dakota: *Johnson, Thune
Texas: Cornyn, Hutchison
Utah: Hatch
Vermont: Sanders
Virginia: Warner, Webb
West Virginia: Byrd, Rockefeller
Wyoming: Barrasso

(Senators in red print have pledged to vote YES on the amnesty.)

* Did not vote in June

Via Geraldo-spitting-target Michelle Malkin.

Posted by: Ace at 07:57 AM | Comments (19)
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Michael Gerson used to be President Bush’s chief speech writer and a top policy adviser, now he’s a columnist at the Washington Post. He’d like those of us who oppose amnesty to do him, the Republican Party and the nation a favor…shut the hell up and stop the hating.

You see in Gerson’s world (and it seems the President’s as well), it’s not possible to be a principled person who favors the enforcement of US law. No, if you oppose wholesale amnesty for millions of law breakers you are simply ruining the party by forcing good men like Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney to move to the right on the issue and queering the deal for everyone in the process. That whole damn will of the people thing, it’s so annoying.

One gets the impression of decent men, intimidated by the vocal anger of elements of their own party.

That anger is pushing Republicans into some powerful symbols of indifference to Hispanic voters. The Univision Republican debate, scheduled for last Sunday with simultaneous translation into Spanish, was postponed when only Sen. John McCain agreed to show up. Rep. Tom Tancredo objected to the event on principle: "We should not be doing things that encourage people to stay separate in a separate language" -- which raises the question: Is saying "Viva Cuba Libre" no longer permissible for Republicans? And this snub came on the heels of conspicuous Republican absence at a forum held by the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials, and at the National Council of La Raza convention.

Yes Mr. Gerson, you caught us. “Viva Cuba Libre” is out because voicing opposition to the bloody dictatorship of Fidel Castro is exactly the same as opposing amnesty for illegals or pandering to voters who are supposed to be able to speak English in order to vote. For the record, I personally oppose conducting presidential campaigns in Chinese (Mandarin or otherwise), French, Russian, Lithuanian and any language other than English (except Klingon of course).

It never seems to occur to guys like Gerson that if winning the votes of “one of the fastest-growing groups of American voters” means we have to pander to amnesty advocates and groups like La Raza, this country has a much bigger problem than angry Republicans.

And with that, it’s time to gear up for another round of amnesty courtesy of the DREAM Act which will be offered as an amendment to the Defense Authorization bill. According to today’s Washington Times, things are not looking good for those who oppose it.

As before, Michelle Malkin has a great round up of the players and what can be done.

Posted by: DrewM. at 06:32 AM | Comments (72)
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Michael Gerson used to be President BushÂ’s chief speech writer and a top policy adviser, now heÂ’s a columnist at the Washington Post. HeÂ’d like those of us who oppose amnesty to do him, the Republican Party and the nation a favorÂ…shut the hell up and stop the hating.

You see in GersonÂ’s world (and it seems the PresidentÂ’s as well), itÂ’s not possible to be a principled person who favors the enforcement of US law. No, if you oppose wholesale amnesty for millions of law breakers you are simply ruining the party by forcing good men like Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney to move to the right on the issue and queering the deal for everyone in the process. That whole damn will of the people thing, itÂ’s so annoying.

One gets the impression of decent men, intimidated by the vocal anger of elements of their own party.

That anger is pushing Republicans into some powerful symbols of indifference to Hispanic voters. The Univision Republican debate, scheduled for last Sunday with simultaneous translation into Spanish, was postponed when only Sen. John McCain agreed to show up. Rep. Tom Tancredo objected to the event on principle: "We should not be doing things that encourage people to stay separate in a separate language" -- which raises the question: Is saying "Viva Cuba Libre" no longer permissible for Republicans? And this snub came on the heels of conspicuous Republican absence at a forum held by the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials, and at the National Council of La Raza convention.

Yes Mr. Gerson, you caught us. “Viva Cuba Libre” is out because voicing opposition to the bloody dictatorship of Fidel Castro is exactly the same as opposing amnesty for illegals or pandering to voters who are supposed to be able to speak English in order to vote. For the record, I personally oppose conducting presidential campaigns in Chinese (Mandarin or otherwise), French, Russian, Lithuanian and any language other than English (except Klingon of course).

It never seems to occur to guys like Gerson that if winning the votes of “one of the fastest-growing groups of American voters” means we have to pander to amnesty advocates and groups like La Raza, this country has a much bigger problem than angry Republicans.

And with that, itÂ’s time to gear up for another round of amnesty courtesy of the DREAM Act which will be offered as an amendment to the Defense Authorization bill. According to todayÂ’s Washington Times, things are not looking good for those who oppose it.

As before, Michelle Malkin has a great round up of the players and what can be done.

Posted by: DrewM at 06:32 AM | Comments (72)
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Claiming "anyone can sue anybody", Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit against God, and seeks a permanent injunction against Him for terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants".

The Almighty could not be reached for comment, and did not respond to Chambers' claim that He Himself was responsible for "fearsome floods ... horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, or retarded alliteration".

I might have screwed up that last quote.

Posted by: Dave In Texas at 08:18 PM | Comments (39)
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That's Kaus' take, and since we're not talking about the war or taxes or health care I believe him.

There is no upper age limit. Any illegal alien can walk into a U.S. Customs and Immigration Ser­vices office and declare that he is eligible. For example, a 45 year old can claim that he illegally entered the United States 30 years ago at the age of 15. There is no requirement that the alien prove that he entered the United States at the claimed time by providing particular documents. The DREAM Act's Section 4(a) merely requires him to "demonstrate" that he is eligible—which in practice could mean simply making a sworn statement to that effect.

Bonus: Once you so much as file an application claiming DREAM eligibility, you can't be deported.

They're just not going to stop with the amnesty, are they?

This is the most dangerous form of legislation-- the kind that easily slips past public scrutiny because no one is paying attention outside of Congress. They can do pretty much anything with unexamined bills -- and they seem intent on doing precisely what we forbade them to last time we were actually notified of their intentions.

Posted by: Ace at 07:41 PM | Comments (32)
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From the Guardian...

...Mohamed ElBaradei told reporters...I would hope that everybody would have gotten the lesson after the Iraq situation, where 700,000 innocent civilians have lost their lives on the suspicion that a country has nuclear weapons."...

ElBaradei's figures would indicate that roughly 1 out of every 37 or so Iraqi civilians have been killed...a percentage that is curiously nearly identical to the percentage of (non-death camp) German civilian population killed during WWII. ElBaradei's claim is clearly fantastical and plainly drug induced. I would suggest the UN have him piss tested immediately for hallucinogenics.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 06:50 PM | Comments (10)
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Headbutts-- the great equalizer.

The fight was over a woman.

Great, another group of people I just found out can kick my ass. The list is getting embarrassingly large.

Oh, well. There's always the fellas at Sadly, No.

Via This Goes To 11, thanks to UCLABruin.

Posted by: Ace at 06:36 PM | Comments (10)
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