Posted by: Open Blog at 09:12 PM | Comments (53)
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I just emailed Ace to see if he'll come on The Jawa Report: Radio Edition.

No answer yet, but, he's watching midget porn while beating a hobo to death with an empty bottle of Valu-Rite not feeling well.

I dunno if he'll come on, after all, he has some big codpieces to fill, like Brad Thor, Robert Spencer, and Charles Johnson.

What do you morons think? Is Ace worthy to grace us with his presence? After all, we are the only radio show with a drinking game.

Exit question: If Ace does come on, how long should we delay his appearance with the sound of an Israeli tank idling? As long as Fox News did, or less?

Update Damn, he jumped on the chance faster than Eliot Spitzer on a 5 grand hooker. Ace will be on the April 22nd show. The exit question still stands.

Posted by: Open Blog at 08:35 PM | Comments (18)
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Dummy.

Embed below the fold but it might not be running. more...

Posted by: Ace at 07:15 PM | Comments (19)
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I hesitated to post this video because it really isn't that exciting. But I just kept watching it, fixated with my mouth open like a two year old watching the same Barney video for the 200th time. If PETA or anyone else is offended by this, please let Ace know and he will apologize for it.

Posted by: Open Blog at 05:03 PM | Comments (26)
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The motive was smart. The execution not so much, as they were caught.

Their motive? To cover up evidence of their previous burglarizing of it.

Clever. Bring in a flashmob to destroy the evidence. Though I think I saw that on CSI: Miami. "But were they brought to be part of a crime scene... (sunglasses off) or to destroy one?"

Note I said it's smart, not nice. I mean, they robbed the guy and then they put this up and rob him even more to cover up the previous robbery. They're being charged with two counts of aggravated dickbaggery.

The female burglar, is, get this, not hot. Crime is not an endeavor that attracts the lookers.

Thanks to someone2, also known as "Lady Someone."

Posted by: Ace at 04:43 PM | Comments (30)
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Crap blogging this week, I know.

For the night, if you want, Open Blog. I'm busy and under the weather so I won't be posting that much.

PS: Some people asked for the pass stuff a while ago, but I didn't respond because 1, the period was almost over anyway and 2, I'm a lazy bastard and I didn't want to dig up the old "How to Blog" email to explain how stuff works.

If you were one of those guys, drop me another email. I wasn't not giving you the info because it was my passive-avoidance manner of saying no. It was my passive-avoidance manner of continuing to download porn uninterrupted.

Posted by: Ace at 03:45 PM | Comments (36)
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Marine biologists, living the lives we only dream of, who studied "octopus love lives found a kinky and violent society of jealous murders, gender subterfuge and once-in-a-lifetime sex."

It's like an episode of Seinfeld. Without the jealous murders, gender subterfuge (mostly), and once-in-a-lifetime sex. And pulling that beta sensitive crap to flummox the chicks.

Hey, how you doin?

The scientists watched the Abdopus aculeatus octopus, which are the size of an orange, for several weeks, in research published recently in the science journal Marine Biology. They witnessed picky, macho males carefully select a mate, then guard their newly domesticated digs so jealously that they would occasionally use their 8-to-10-inch tentacles to strangle to death a romantic rival.

8 to 10 inches. Garish monsters of the deep, freaks of nature.

The researchers also observed smaller "sneaker" male octopuses put on feminine airs, such as swimming girlishly near the bottom and keeping their male brown stripes hidden in order to win unsuspecting conquests.

Feminine airs? Hiding your stripes? What is this shit? I get the strangling part, the rest is like, WTF? Are these things dying off?

Truth from science:

If you're going to spend time guarding a female, you want to go for the biggest female you can find because she's going to produce more eggs," said UC Berkeley biologist Roy Caldwell, who co-wrote the study. "It's basically an investment strategy."

If you're going to spend time guarding a female, there will be investments. Trust me on this.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 03:38 PM | Comments (28)
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Apparently so. As JackStraw notes, what could possibly go wrong?

I'm sure Europe is completely over WWII by now.

Max Mosley, president of the Federation Internationale de l'Automobile, F1's governing body, is facing intense pressure to resign from his post after being implicated in a Nazi role-playing orgy according to British tabloid News of the World.

The report detailed a five-hour "Nazi-style" orgy between Mosley and five prostitutes at a house in Chelsea. In a video on the newspaper's Web site, it shows a man identified as Mosley arriving at an apartment. The man is then greeted by a woman playing the role of a Nazi prison guard, checking his hair to see if he has been kept free of lice "at the other facility."

Later, another woman in mock death camp garb enters the video and the man said to be Mosley is heard speaking German.

At one point during the video, the man yells "she needs more of ze punishment!" while brandishing a leather strap over a woman's bottom before striking her with it and counting in German, as other women in Nazi-style uniforms look on.

Now it turns from weird to somehow pathetic. Does the name "Mosley" sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too:

The report is even more disturbing because of the fact that his father, Oswald Mosley, was a former British politician who served in Parliament for both the Labour and Conservative parties. Before World War II, however, Oswald led Britain's fascist organization according to the Times of London.

Huh.

Posted by: Ace at 12:51 PM | Comments (112)
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An electoral drubbing so huge he couldn't rig it. Or, I guess, he was so incompetent and unpopular that even the people he paid to rig it decided to cast their own vote by allowing the real results to stand.

Sic semper tyrannis. Or rather sic tyrannis every once in a blue moon.

Posted by: Ace at 11:54 AM | Comments (51)
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He's posting here. Pretty funny. I've lightly edited his name in comportment with my current PC rules.

more...

Posted by: Ace at 11:47 AM | Comments (48)
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