1 Foist?

2 Heh, they'll never find us here.

3 I'm trying to think of some "but what if there's an earthquake and I need to check up on my mom! By e-mail..." but I can't. Anything super serious can be done on the phone. I guess if you have a deadline and you need to e-mail something to your boss or to a client and you accidentally set the timer for too long, you could be a trouble.

4 BTW, I'm not  gonna put any  type of software on my machine  that I  can't control.

5 Don't tell Pixie.

6 >>>TW, I'm not gonna put any type of software on my machine that I can't control. Me neither! I'm not recommending this stuff, just noting it. Because there is some consolation in knowing It's Not Just Me.

7

 

Cyber Crack.....it's a tough addiction to kick, Ace.

 

Especially since there is so much fun stuff out there to look at, on the internet.

8

If you track productivity gains from the mid 90's through today, you'll find that they mirror the quality/quantity of internet porn.

Porn is a valuable timesaver.

9 Code zero zero zero. Destruct. Zero.

10

It's as though I heard  the voices of millions of computer hamsters cry out, then...silence.

 

I fear something terrible has happened.

11 So it's a real program, not advice to exercise self-control?

12 I would get it for ASHQ, but then what the hell would I do at work?

13 Ace, I think you'll have an especially hard time with it since it's kinda what you do for a living. (The computer stuff, not the masturbation.)

14

Hmmmm.... so Ace is generating time sink hits for his website... by talking about time sink internet?

 

May not be the best busniness plan... LOL

15

For example, you could block access to your email, facebook, and twitter for 90 minutes, but still have access to the rest of the web. Once started, it can not be undone by the application, by deleting the application, or by restarting the computer – you must wait for the timer to run out.

 

 

So it's basically    a computer version of the Big Button in the Underground Bunker in Lost?      Are there polar bears?

16

That sounds like an amazing piece of software.

 

If only someone could develop  some software that would allow you italicize, bold or underline some text with a button click, or post a link to an internet address, or...  I don't know - ENTER A FUCKING PARAGRAPH BREAK.

 

I know, I know.  It sounds like science fiction.  But today's science fiction is tomorrow's  reality.

17 Seriously, instead of buying programs called 'Freedom' and 'Self Control', how about, y'know, exercising some of the real versions? What a sadly apt metaphor.

18

Me neither! I'm not recommending this stuff, just noting it. Because there is some consolation in knowing It's Not Just Me.

 

I know what you  mean. This place consumes a lot of my time, but that's OK, because since I've been funemployed for four years, this sorta  takes the place  of a work meatspace.  I love the verbal parry and thrust.

19 What about setting the computer's clock ahead by the necessary amount of time.

I bet that'd work.

20 (The computer stuff, not the masturbation.)

Posted by: Alice H at September 10, 2012 01:49 PM (jRtPb)

 

That's what SHE said.

21 Hmmmm.... so Ace is generating time sink hits for his website... by talking about time sink internet? May not be the best busniness plan... LOL We're here. It's working brilliantly.

22 What is needed is a way to  small-screen pr0n  up in a corner while you're work stays in front of you.  That way a person could do both.

23 I love the verbal parry and thrust.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 01:50 PM (d0Tfm)

 

That's just filthy.   We're trying to help ace get PAST his porn habit.

 

  I keed!

24 Chicken?   Hey, I like chicken

25 It's not just you, Ace.

Every 15 minutes or so I find myself back at ace.me.nu when I should be working.. *sigh*

26 OT

Preezy Choom can't dial a call using an iPhone.


iPhones.  How do they fuckin' work?!?!

27 Barack Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable tyrant.

28 (The computer stuff, not the masturbation.)

Posted by: Alice H at September 10, 2012 01:49 PM (jRtPb)

 

--------------------

 

But, what if we use one ......for the other? 

29 At least you have a choice when it comes to fapping Ace.

30 Whether you have suffered the loss of a relationship, or giving up an addiction, it is just. Amateur of establishing a new routine. The hole that the other activity or person left in your life needs filling. Don't assume that looking up random things on the Internet is necessarily a huge time suck. You are also learning new information. In a much different way than say, watching tv. And you will be surprised when you find that information wads to information that leads to something that connects and makes even more clear something you already know.

31 Can we get a computer program for filter out all political polls?

32

Ooops MWR,  that did sound rather suggestive, didn't it?

 

Wait!  Where'd  Ace go?

33

My wife got me this alarm clock once that had motorized wheels.   When it would go off, it would roll off the  nightstand and you would have to chase it down to  shut  it off, forcing  you to get out of bed.

 

Eventually, she got tired of having to run after the alarm  clock and then still wake me up.

 

So, can technology modify  human behavior? Absolutely.

34 I flatly refused to use any type of instant messaging program at my last job because I knew with metaphysical certainty that I would create a work only id and then, in a week or so, give it to the BFF for "emergencies". Then I would give it to a couple of other people for just that one thing. The next thing you know, I'm talking to everyone on the planet about everything but work. So I just didn't even start. One of the only problems with cutting off email access is that people freak. the. fuck. out. if you don't get back to their emails immediately. I've had clients call up all ticked off because I didn't get back to them within 10 minutes about that email they sent about a non-urgent matter. It's completely ridiculous.

35 We need to find him a woman.  Any volunteers?

36 13 Ace, I think you'll have an especially hard time with it since it's kinda what you do for a living. (The computer stuff, not the masturbation.) Posted by: Alice H at September 10, 2012 01:49 PM (jRtPb) ___________________ LOL!

37 My wife got me this alarm clock once that had motorized wheels. When it would go off, it would roll off the nightstand and you would have to chase it down to shut it off, forcing you to get out of bed.

I'd re-gift that to someone I didn't like.

38

>>>I've had clients call up all ticked off because I didn't get back to them within 10 minutes about that email they sent about a non-urgent matter.

 

So you can say "Now that I have you on the phone, what the f*ck did you want?"

39 Good grief, dang auto correct. It is a matter of...

40 The day the music died:

Romney discloses he wants to "replace" Obamacare during Sunday interview.

He wants to keep the provision of getting insurance with previous conditions and for children to be covered longer by their parents policy. The previous conditions part is the reason for the mandate.

I'm not going to say "I told you so".

I'm going to YELL "I TOLD YOU SO".

Obamacare is not getting repealed.

I'm proposing that many other claimed changes and differences between Romney and Obama are also not going to be different after the election.

Yes, yes. We'll get some business going and some jobs but we won't be revisiting any periods when we had more freedom and liberty with Romney vs Obama.

In fact for some people it will be worse as they will begin to enact "austerity" cuts and tax increases in the name of balancing the budget.

Funny thing is, the budget won't get balanced and the cuts will be used to fund other programs.

The only things that will change under Romney will be the rapidity of the slide and who gets to grab the govt money until it dries up.

I'm not even sure anymore that the 2nd amendment will be safe under Romney.

Greet the new boss, same as the old boss.

41 I'm dreading Ace's "I just spanked it" post.  Doing this exercise publicly means that sort of thing is inevitable.  Perhaps we will get a link to the bio of the responsible pr0n star.

42 I've had clients call up all ticked off because I didn't get back to them within 10 minutes about that email they sent about a non-urgent matter. It's completely ridiculous.

I own a retail online business and I get this all the time. Customer emails; then calls 2 minutes later, "Did you get the email I just sent? Here is what I emailed about..." Gotta do the same job twice, way too often.

43 sveaking of internet addiction... where's sven?

44 Ace Couple I know married for 25 years--divorced for excessive you know what so.... I think you should keep at not at it, so to speak.

45

...Don't assume that looking up random things on the Internet is necessarily a huge time suck. You are also learning new information. In a much different way than say, watching tv. And you will be surprised when you find that information wads to information that leads to something that connects and makes even more clear something you already know.

 

At least you have more control of what you watch on  teh  Intarwebz  vs. TV.

 

And the learning part is  fun too.  And blowing off a little steam on one's own blog is another advantage,  isn't it, AllenG?

46

My wife got me this alarm clock once that had motorized wheels. When it
would go off, it would roll off the nightstand and you would have to
chase it down to shut it off, forcing you to get out of bed.

 

I've toyed with getting myself one of those alarm clocks with the helicopter propeller that takes off and flies around the room when the alarm goes off.   You have to get the propeller and shove it back onto the clock to get the alarm to shut off.     I decided not to do it for two reasons.

 

1) I can and have slept through absolutely anything, including    a   hotel fire alarm in the middle of the night; and

2) I like my lamps.  I don't want to break them.

47 And the learning part is fun too. And blowing off a little steam on one's own blog is another advantage, isn't it, AllenG?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 01:58 PM (d0Tfm)

 

OMG OMG OMG AllenG has a blog!??!?!?!!    NO WAY!!!

48 Personally, I try to reduce the amount of time spent on time-wasting activities like mowing the lawn and cleaning the bathroom so I'll have more time to spend on the important things in life- like pr0n and video games.

49 My money is that this "master of domain" streak will end with Jasmine Byrne doing something incomprehensibly filthy on film.

Can we start a betting pool?

50 I think we need computers installed in our heads.  It would save a lot of time typing.  The porn would be magical.

51

Oddly, I've never had a problem with stopping smoking.  That's probably because I give up cigars every winter and don't start again until the summer, so my brain knows the tobacco will be coming back.

 

Porn, on the other hand (so to speak) - well, Ace, let's just say I know what you mean, brother.  I just haven't had the strength to go cold turkey yet.

 

It's diet and exercise that kill me.  I start, then look in the mirror, say "what's the use?" and grab a bottle of Val-U-Rite and a Costco-sized box of Ring Dings.  Pretty damn pathetic, if you ask me.

 

Anyway, not to go all Dan Rather on you, Ace, but - "courage."

52
We need to find him a woman. Any volunteers?

Posted by: AndrewsDad at September 10, 2012 01:55 PM (C2//T)

Errr, inter-galactic, inter-species sex is kind of freaky, even for the HQ.

53 Ace, buy a house with a real yard.  Spend at least an hour a day in it - no phone, no I-anything.

54

If Ace would just start interviewing aspiring amateur actresses on webcam for the new (non-existent) venue of "Political Porn", all this nonsense of wasting time would be forgotten.

We would all be paying $19.95 per month to discuss politics in that forum.

55

If you can still manage to tear yourself away from the internet to read, I'd recommend, "The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains," by Nicholas Carr.

 

It's a great book. 

56

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 01:58 PM (d0Tfm)

 

So, is the new game to see if we can mention AllenG's blog at least once a thread?

57 Greet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Posted by: Screams of Troll and Obamabot in 4 . 3 . 2 . at September 10, 2012 01:57 PM (Vh0f5)

I'm not screaming, but you're an idiot.

58 Maybe we should moron on-line support group to beat internet addiction?

59 And blowing off a little steam on one's own blog is another advantage, isn't it, AllenG?

Yep.  Until EoJ steals your password.

60 OT - holy shitballs is this guy on twitter a fucking idiot.

61 While I've stopped one time-suck, I've simply increased my other time-sucking activities.

Yeah, that sounds familiar.

I have a FireFox addon called "LeechBlock" that doesn't work because I can disable it too easy.  The only way I can win is by not turning the computer on, which doesn't work at work, or if I want to listen to streaming audio (or pay some bills, or look up what time the festival starts, or anything besides take a nap, really).

62 Yeah Romney is going to go after gun control if he's elected.  With a republican house and at worst a split senate.

63 So, is the new game to see if we can mention AllenG's blog at least once a thread? Posted by: Polliwogette, teahada hobbbit who wants some R & R at September 10, 2012 02:00 PM (chdbY) AllenG has a blog?

64

Posted by: Screams of Troll and Obamabot in 4 . 3 . 2 . at September 10, 2012 01:57 PM (Vh0f5)

 

 

-----------------------------------------------

 

 

Nah.  No screaming.  Just fuck off.

65 holy shitballs is this guy on twitter a fucking idiot.


No, I'm not on Twitter.

66 18 If time is an illusion, time-suck sucks imagination?

67

So, is the new game to see if we can mention AllenG's blog at least once a thread?

 

It looks that way, but I didn't start it. He'd probably  be   happier with the hits, as would I, but it's harmless fun.

68 So, is the new game to see if we can mention AllenG's blog at least once a thread?

Posted by: Polliwogette, teahada hobbbit who wants some R & R at September 10, 2012 02:00 PM (chdbY)

I checked it out, but was turned off by all the geriatric gay zebra porn.

69 >>>My wife got me this alarm clock once that had motorized wheels. When it would go off, it would roll off the nightstand and you would have to chase it down to shut it off, forcing you to get out of bed. I had to get up very early for a flight (like 3:45 am) and I knew I'd never get up by the alarm so I downloaded a special can't-turn-it-off alarm program. The alarm would not turn off until you had solved a series of tedious -- not super-hard, but you had to be awake -- math problems, and I think another sort of logic-type problem, like "figure out the pattern." There were 15 of these problems or so. And the noise the phone made was the most atrocious, grating alarm I've ever heard. It was hellish, doing these dumb problems while still half asleep, this horrific alarm blaring. However, it did work. After forcing me to stay awake for about two minutes to do MATH, I was awake.

70 Yep. Until EoJ steals your password.

Posted by: AllenG (Dedicated Tenther) Channelling Breitbart at September 10, 2012 02:01 PM (8y9MW)

 

If    he      steals your password, you still his domain.     

 

It's a game of one upsmanship     that will culminate    in a fight with broadswords atop a rocky Scottish crag    as blue-white lighting slices through the heavens    and torrential rain pours down in blinding sheets.   THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

71

Yep. Until EoJ steals your password.

 

"1234" isn't the most secure password, dude.  I'm just sayin'.

72

Posted by: HeatherRadish™, Team MATH at September 10, 2012 02:01 PM (/kI1Q)

 

Heh, I'm *supposed* to be on  the computer  entering my receipts into Quicken. Somehow, I seem to  always end  up here instead.  

73 STEAL his domain.   Dammit.    Typying, HOW DOES IT FUCKING WORK?

74 Yup, my only foolproof of way of avoiding web immersion is being outdoors. Of course half the time that I'm doing something interesting I'm also thinking "should I post a pic of this?".

75 OT - holy shitballs is this guy on twitter a fucking idiot.

Posted by: grognard at September 10, 2012 02:01 PM (NS2Mo)

 

Which one? There's too many possibilities.

76 Ace, I think you'll have an especially hard time with it since it's kinda what you do for a living. Yup. The internet makes my job tremendously simpler. For example, I needed to confirm a portion of chain of title 20+ pieces of property this morning. Instead of three hours or more at the courthouse looking it up, bam, 20-30 minutes sitting at my desk drinking tea and doing some other stuff as well. I can't just turn off ye olde internets in order to work since I need ye olde internets to do it faster. That being said, I am trying to exercise self-control and not visit you windowlickers when I have to work at work. It is sadly harder than it should be to do that. I didn't come up with multi-shirking (dammit) but that is the thing that the internet allows best. See! I'm working! This tab has the work stuff in it! Those other 267 tabs are not relevant to this discussion.

77 "I checked it out, but was turned off by all the geriatric gay zebra porn." Yeah, but it has ampersands, italics and hyperlinks. Pretty fancy stuff if you ask me.

78 OMG!  *headdesks self*

79

13 Ace, I think you'll have an especially hard time with it since it's kinda what you do for a living. (The computer stuff, not the masturbation.)
Posted by: Alice H at September 10, 2012 01:49 PM (jRtPb)

___________________

Too bad you canÂ’t do that for a living. YouÂ’d be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you! You could be a big star!

80

"1234" isn't the most secure password, dude. I'm just sayin'.

 

Neither is a password like "password."

81

I didn't come up with multi-shirking (dammit) but that is the thing that the internet allows best. See! I'm working! This tab has the work stuff in it! Those other 267 tabs are not relevant to this discussion.

 

Put that on a t-shirt and you've got the story of my life.

82 I can stop whenever I want.  I just don't want.

83

@70,

 

I might end up bringing the shattered pieces of my phone in a  Ziploc to the Verizon store and handing it to the CSR for a replacement.

 

***shrug***

 

"Gorilla."

84 O/T but Instapundit linked this article, and his takeaway - in fact the takeaway of the article - was entirely different. But I red this bit and said this is the problem: “You can always tell by the way they move, that sense of purpose,” said Jeff Smith, a former Missouri state senator who ran afoul of campaign finance laws and wound up in jail for a year. Mr. Smith never got to Washington, in other words, and now he’s teaching public policy at the New School in New York. As Instapundit says, the country is in the very best of hands. Or in Moronspeak: Top. Men.

85

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD you know you want me at September 10, 2012 02:06 PM (VtjlW)

 

"Multi-shirking!" I feel so much better now that there's a name for what I do.

86 Is the computer the work of the debil?   Is the end drawing nigh?

87 Oh, hey. Did anybody ever find a link to that Twitter-thingy about  the  troll job  on   SCOAMF-for-America? 

88 @haitreason.  AllenG, LilMissRightie, EoJ, and I are making him look really stupid. The problem is, he doesn't have much of an audience, so the novelty is wearing off.

89

"wound up in jail for a year. Mr. Smith never got to Washington, in other words, and now heÂ’s teaching public policy at the New School in New York."

 

OMG, GG I guess that explains a lot. 

90 "Multi-shirking!" I feel so much better now that there's a name for what I do. It sounds all official, doesn't it? What are you doing? Multi-shirking, must get back to it, very important.

91

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 02:10 PM (d0Tfm)

 

It was MuseIsLuse's son, but I wouldn't know how to link it even if I could find the tweet again.  You could look under @museisluse I guess.

92

Posted by: grognard at September 10, 2012 02:10 PM (NS2Mo)

 

Ah, saw that. He and the guy who thinks he "proved" that gun control lowers crime are both completely insane.  You have to love how the union is conflating teacher salaries with school funding though. I'm embarrassed to admit that this is the first time I've realized they were doing that.

93 Here's another internet problem I have: Tab-Hoarding. I have sometimes like 70 tabs open of stuff I *plan* to get to. But I don't, because, look, 70 tabs? Sometimes I force myself to do an Extreme Hoarders house-cleaning and either *link the f'n' thing* or close it.

94 So I don't know if anyone has seen this or not but I got a kick out of it.  This chick wants to live in Sandra Fluke's America.


http://tinyurl.com/8w5alev

95 I Bought a smallish freezer from Sam's just to save money on meat from my cajun butcher shop, $200 and some change, just passing it along to y'all. Good investment.

96

Aha! I found it, or should I say Eureka! Or Viola!

 

Wish there was a bit more detail, as I'm not sure I could post about something  that sounds  kinda tentative.

97

I was able to kick the 'someone is wrong on the internet' habit which is a specific disease of internet addiction.  It also helped in the real world.  Now I just dismiss people with a contemptuous wave of the hand.

98 They should make one of those for the fridge.

99 If you really want to experience Cosmic Off-Blowing of things, you simply must get elected POTUS.

100 A number of esteemed writers including Nick Hornby, Dave Eggers and Zadie Smith have come forward to admit they are powerless over the endless distractions of the Internet, and to name a new solution: two software programs called Freedom and Self Control. These are computer applications that can be downloaded and configured to increase productivity by completely blocking Internet access at specific times. Wow. Talk about pathetic. These programs should just lock people in closets. And anyone with any money, at all, will just gt around all this by buying a cheap computer of tablet. In that way, these idiot programs might even spur computer sales as fools buy them, get pissed, and then rush out to buy new computers (since I assume these folks don't know how to use a simple rescue disk and wipe the programs) so that they can satisfy their true desires. People who buy these programs are the types who want a government to tell them everything and dictate their actions - to save them from themselves. Great.

101 Coinage: AlexTheChick has a different word for "multi-tasking" -- "multi-shirking." Which is more accurate. Sadly, I did not come up with it but I think it is one of the most perfectly cromulent terms ever. I'm not so bad a tab hoarder but I kicked that in part by determining that whenever I had a browser crash and it said restore session, I'd say nope new session. If it was that important, I can go history spelunking and find it.

102 If an earthquake/tsunami/terrorist attack hits the internet will be overloaded or down. I remember on 9/11 how the internet, cell phone towers, and landlines were overloaded and inaccessible. Brought my hand-crank radio into work (in N. VA) the next day,

103 and not visit you windowlickers when I have to work at work.
Is that an autocorrect of "widow lickers", AtC?

104

My money is that this "master of domain" streak will end with Jasmine Byrne doing something incomprehensibly filthy on film.

Can we start a betting pool?

You know, I'd probably be yelling "BUNK!" right now if I had any idea who Jasmine Byrne is. . .

105 Here's another internet problem I have: Tab-Hoarding.
Posted by: ace

Some bloggers have a 'post' notepad that they drag the tab over to and then shut the tab. Firefox has some add-ons that allow you to add notes to a webpage as well.

106

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at September 10, 2012 02:19 PM (d0Tfm)

 

You could ask her if she's willing to go into more detail. I believe she's a commenter here as well.

107

Posted by: alexthechick - SMOD you know you want me at September 10, 2012 02:23 PM (VtjlW)

 

Usually the only two tabs I have up are two different posts here at the HQ. I can always open another with my e-mail messenger if I really need to.  I do Usually have at least three windows though,  four if I have Twitter running.  That's only because Netflix streaming hangs up a lot more frequntly if it doesn't have its own window, and of course WoW can only be played in *its* own window.

108 I love how the application called "Self Control" is basically the exact opposite.

109

Multi-tasking = Multi-failing

People do that to me on the phone, they call me and then ask me to hold while they buy a coffee, gas, whatever. I just tell them to call me later and hang up.

110 . 17 That sounds like an amazing piece of software. If only someone could develop some software that would allow you italicize, bold or underline some text with a button click, or post a link to an internet address, or... I don't know - ENTER A FUCKING PARAGRAPH BREAK. I know, I know. It sounds like science fiction. But today's science fiction is tomorrow's reality. Posted by: Empire of Jeff at September 10, 2012 01:50 PM (HipuG) ************************ Now, that's some funny shit right there. Y'all really think they could do that???

111 Once started, it can not be undone by the application, by deleting the application, or by restarting the computer – you must wait for the timer to run out. What if you change the PC clock?

112 94 Here's another internet problem I have: Tab-Hoarding. -ace

I like to use Pocket: http://getpocket.com/

I put all of my barely-give-a-crap and this-is-amusing-but-I-don't-have-time-right-now links in there and then read them later on my phone when I'm in line for something or other or trying to sleep but can't. Great tool.

113 Share the tab-hoarding problem. And occasionally my machine will crash and I'll lose all those tabs and ... I don't miss it at all and my life no worse for not having gotten to all that cool stuff. In fact, my life is marginally improved by no longer having all those things to get to.

114 Obama is a stuttering clusterf*ck of a miserable failure.