You kind of have to read between the lines.

Defiling a White House ritual, President George W. Bush left a note and a fecal pellet in the Oval Office for President-elect Barack Obama, wishing him to "Smell my feet!" as he takes the reins of the executive branch.

"I won't provide any details, but the theme is similar to what he's said since election night about the fabulous new chapter President-elect Obama is about to start, and that he wishes him the very best," White House 'press secretary' and Stepford automaton Dana Perino lied through her teeth Tuesday.

The note was rendered in red crayon scrawled on a piece of yellow construction paper and smells faintly of bananas.

I might have tampered with some of those details a bit.

Posted by: LauraO at 07:51 AM | Comments (22)
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This is the most awesome invocation ever.

Wait, that was character actor Steven Root.

No, correct that, the very awesome, very sexy Chris Matthews tells me it was in fact Rick Warren.

Steven Root will be at the Huffington Post after party.

Posted by: A New Ace for a New Era at 07:50 AM | Comments (11)
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God is happy with how we voted. He has made more oil for us.

From now on I'm going to call the Bible "From 52 to 48 With Love: The Book."

Posted by: A New Ace for a New Era at 07:35 AM | Comments (39)
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Don't ask me how. I just woke up and it was like I was some kind of Greek mythological creature with the body of Ace and the penis of an averagely-endowed man.

Awesome. Just breathtaking, really. Today is truly a little brighter, a little more hopeful than the day before. And today has a bigger dick than yesterday.

Thanks, Obama!

Posted by: A New Ace for a New Era at 07:25 AM | Comments (68)
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You know, I haven't been posting much the past few months. In part, it's because I haven't been comfortable with the frequent derision hurled at our new President by the other bloggers and commenters here.

But now? A new day's dawn is a-dawning over a new day. And with the format change, I'm more comfortable than I have ever been before.

So as the "Obama is Aces HQ's" resident poet laureate, I offer this ode to President Obama. May his shining countenance continue to bestow blessings on all upon whose shadow it's light falls. more...

Posted by: Jack M. at 07:06 AM | Comments (45)
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10:45AM The First Ladies come out of the White House and get in the limo. Michelle looks great in a gold dress. Laura has a gray coat. Looks like a hospital gown? You don't think...

10:47AM Cheney gets wheeled out. Probably had to pry him out of the West Wing.

10:48AM The President and Bush get in the limo. Juan Williams says it's a "magic moment."

10:50AM Motorcade is on the way! It's so powerful that people have stopped screaming and just started staring. Quote: "My God, my God."

11:00AM Motorcade arrives at Capitol Hill. According to the schedule, they're three minutes late. It's probably because Cheney had to be wheeled out. That man will do anything to stay in power.

11:05AM The Chief Justice has arrived. He's damn lucky to be here, too. The President voted not to confirm him. Couldn't Obama have asked for Ginsburg?

11:08AM AL GORE!!!

11:13AM Bush 41 arrives. He looks cold and old. Wrinkled and tired.

11:14AM Here comes Carter. He looks so great. Smiling. Still presidential today.

11:16AM And here are the Clintons. Hillary looks great. Bill is even smiling a little.

11:19AM Introductions begin. We're 15 minutes behind schedule now. I bet * is dragging his feet.

11:20AM Did I mention that the elder Bushes have matching purple scarves? It's a war crime.

11:23AM MSNBC spies men moving boxes out of the White House. The Bushes probably trying to steal silverware. And paintings.

---More updates will be below the fold.-- more...

Posted by: Gabriel Hussein Malor at 06:52 AM | Comments (206)
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Today is the day that the Lord has made! more...

Posted by: Gabriel Hussein Malor at 06:10 AM | Comments (55)
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Bumped by ace, as it got buried far too quickly. I missed out on the haiku-age.

What better way is there to celebrate the return of America's greatness than a Haiku contest? Haikus are of course a form of Japanese poetry (we are now part of the world again so it's okay if everything isn't American all the time) which follows the 5-7-5 syllable format.

Show the world how much you love our new President in verse!

Here are mine:

Po-TUS Obama
America the best
Bush goes to jail now

Trust in Obama
All your worries gone forever
Bush goes to jail now

Barack is dreamy
Sorry Iraq we leave soon
Bush goes to jail now

Can't wait to see yours!

Thanks to Sluobama for the seal!

Posted by: DrewM.from52to48withlove at 02:51 PM | Comments (494)
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After eight long years, we will once again, finally, be citizens of the world.

No more shame. And no more apologies. If today means anything at all, to this global community, it means we have rejoined them after our long departure.

I'm looking forward to hearing several things in Obama's history-making inaugural address. One, how Obama will thank Bush for his long service to the nation. It will be sincere. No invective, no recriminations. We'll look forward. Two, it's going to be amazing how Obama points us past just America, rather to the world at large, (much in the way JFK did), with stirring passages that lift us up as global citizens, and not mere Americans.

And finally, this is the best part I think, how we can all pull together, dig deep, to make personal sacrifices for the common good. We're not just separate individuals you know, we are all part of something larger, something greater than ourselves. I think Obama will make this point in his speech, how in spite of the adversity we face, we have a duty to the collective good, to put aside "childish things", and instead embrace that which elevates us all beyond mere citizens of the United States. Rather we will once again be Citizens of the World.

We are All Citizen Obama Now

Posted by: ObamaFan in Texas at 05:37 AM | Comments (148)
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(Just so you people donÂ’t take off-topic dumps in DrewÂ’s literary thread belowÂ…If you donÂ’t read books, or even sentences, which is most of you, hereÂ’s your thread)

I am Pretend Gunnery Sergeant Ghenghis, your Senior Thread Instructor. From now on you will only comment when spoken to (or whenever you feel like it), and the first and last words out of your filthy comments will be “Sir!” Do you maggots understand that!?

If you ladies survive my thread, you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for blog war (or at least a flame thread)! But until that day, you are pukes, you are the lowest form of life on Earth! You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized pieces of amphibian shit!

Now comment like you gottaÂ’ pair!

Posted by: Open Blog at 10:17 PM | Comments (146)
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