Ace of Spades HQ

December 15, 2009

A Safe Place for the Less Adventurous
— Ace

Alright. Via email I'm told that all of the cerebral juice sharing is getting a leeettle intense for some commenters.

Just remember the safeword is "snowbeast." You say "snowbeast" and I promise I'll immediately stop whatever I'm doing and make sure you're okay. That's how this works. Trust. And handcuffs. But mostly trust.

You trust me, right?

Posted by: Ace at 09:05 AM | Comments (70)
Post contains 71 words, total size 1 kb.

1
you're a sick fuck

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:07 AM (z37MR)

2
in b4 the B+

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:08 AM (z37MR)

3
...and Charlie Gibson.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:08 AM (z37MR)

4
...and the chicken.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:08 AM (z37MR)

5 I think that phrase is hilarious and odious at the same time. Hilarious to think that Sully has readers who give a shit. Odious to think that they can think of themselves sharing in "joo-ces".

Posted by: EC at December 15, 2009 09:08 AM (mAhn3)

6 Why you think about me, you touch yourself.

Posted by: Snowbeasts at December 15, 2009 09:09 AM (IhQuA)

7 Snowbeast! For the LOVE OF GOD, SNOWBEAST! oh, never mind. Resume the Val-U-Rite vodka shots.

Posted by: Harry Callahan at December 15, 2009 09:09 AM (fagDq)

8 I trusted you!

Posted by: Andy Kaufman at December 15, 2009 09:09 AM (yUybe)

9 why is the next post down flashing?

Posted by: Snowbeasts at December 15, 2009 09:10 AM (IhQuA)

10 WTF?

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 15, 2009 09:10 AM (1fwTy)

...and the chicken.

Ha! You forgot me!

Posted by: Death at December 15, 2009 09:10 AM (hKyl0)

12 Palomino.

Posted by: lace whig at December 15, 2009 09:12 AM (+OP3J)

13
why is the next post down flashing?

You got something agaisnt the Christmas spirit, Scrooge?

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:13 AM (z37MR)

14 I think I trust some of you aces of eve, but not all of you.

Posted by: Methos at December 15, 2009 09:14 AM (zyyJm)

15 Aiy, aiiiy che' fevere

Posted by: Say What? at December 15, 2009 09:15 AM (vwh8M)

16 Did someone say handcuffs?

Posted by: Jewells at December 15, 2009 09:15 AM (l/N7H)

17 I wish I was this productive when I was on the road and away from my computer.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 15, 2009 09:15 AM (eNxMU)

18
I think Ace's wickepinto episode is over, Methos.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:15 AM (z37MR)

19 I see ghostblogging.

Posted by: kid from the 6th sense at December 15, 2009 09:16 AM (DIYmd)

20 @20, yeah, that was weak and the wrong direction for the joke. I probably should have gone for the Malcovich, Malcovich reference or the many Jack Sparrows instead.

Posted by: Methos at December 15, 2009 09:18 AM (zyyJm)

21 We had snowbeasts on the set of Gorky Park. Those minks are nasty, bitey little bastards.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at December 15, 2009 09:18 AM (l1Wlr)

22
I think these "Ace" posts are authored by lauraw.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:19 AM (z37MR)

23 How me is it that the ghost blogger claims he stewed in the cerebral juices of someone who, for the past year, has been proven to be a complete idiot in his single-minded pursuit of the loin fruit of someone the left calls irrelevant....

Posted by: Irony at December 15, 2009 09:21 AM (92zkk)

24 Dang, Ace. You sure are here a lot for a guy who ain't here...

Posted by: maddogg at December 15, 2009 09:21 AM (OlN4e)

25 Sure I trust you Ace!!!

*puts arms out for handcuffs

Posted by: pajama momma at December 15, 2009 09:21 AM (275r1)

26 I think these "Ace" posts are authored by lauraw.

Only the clever, funny ones.

Posted by: pajama momma at December 15, 2009 09:22 AM (275r1)

27 All my ghost writers at Pre War Forensics are dead. But if they still write for me are they ghost writers squared?

Posted by: quite googleable at December 15, 2009 09:22 AM (EiH7n)

28
How me is it that...
Posted by: Irony

Heh.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:23 AM (z37MR)

29 Wow, Ace, I log in and find about 10 bazillion emanations of your cerebral juices. Are you marketing the stuff or what?

Posted by: chemjeff at December 15, 2009 09:23 AM (F+U5/)

30 That's a terrible safeword for people into Tauntaun play.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 15, 2009 09:23 AM (NtiET)

31 Ace wouldn't have to do this if Bush hadn't wrecked the economy. Ace inhereted this blog's financial state from him.

Posted by: Left Wing asshole with a Bush Fixation at December 15, 2009 09:23 AM (SqAkN)

32 Ace is probably on board that Boeing 787 that is about to take off on its maiden voyage.

Posted by: Intrepid at December 15, 2009 09:24 AM (92zkk)

33 Snobeast! Snoweast! Noweast! Loreast! God I love this...

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan's Vagina at December 15, 2009 09:24 AM (QJzQi)

34 Ace,

Why are you here? Is your life so void of any meaning that you ditched today's plans and decided you love us too much to bear being apart from us for even one day?

Posted by: Johnny at December 15, 2009 09:24 AM (EofMR)

35 OT: Hey guys and girls, just in case you want to see Lord Munckton school some kids about climate change..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxCOHSCob_0

Posted by: TheGarbone at December 15, 2009 09:24 AM (FFPAb)

I give your Open Blog a B+

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 15, 2009 09:25 AM (ZGhSv)

37 Posted by: Irony at December 15, 2009 01:21 PM (92zkk)

Have we met?

Posted by: Alanis Morrissette at December 15, 2009 09:25 AM (l1Wlr)

38
No, I meant the predictable, insipid, and homogenized posts that seem like they were written by a girl.

Posted by: President Informercial at December 15, 2009 09:26 AM (z37MR)

39 Banana.

Posted by: Lois G. at December 15, 2009 09:26 AM (mGSN1)

40 Snowbeast? I thought the safe word was Chewbacca.

Posted by: Y-not at December 15, 2009 09:28 AM (sey23)

Ace is nervous before his flight, hense his outpouring of blogginess.

Happy trails Ace! No safewords after the plane leaves the ground though!

Posted by: 5Cats at December 15, 2009 09:29 AM (O5yP8)

42 Palomino!

Palomino!!!!

Posted by: Mortis at December 15, 2009 09:29 AM (hA5JK)

43 "Have we met?

Posted by: Alanis Morrissette at December 15, 2009 01:25 PM (l1Wlr)"

Yes, but I found it very me that your obnoxious screeching and yelling was considered more appropriate "music" than that other woman's song "What if God was one of us".

Posted by: Irony at December 15, 2009 09:29 AM (92zkk)

44 Want to witness a small miracle? Go down to the airport and watch an airliner take off and land in one piece. Now, that's a miracle.

Posted by: maddogg at December 15, 2009 09:33 AM (OlN4e)

Keep on whacking me, Ace! Snowbeat! Snowbeat! Hosers snowbeat!!!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 15, 2009 09:35 AM (2qU2d)

46 Okay, I didn't read Ace yesterday, and I'm a little behind the curve.

But, do you realize that there is a miniscule possibility that in fact someone else is responsible for the Trig Trutherism, and for whatever reason Sullivan cannot stop them from posting on his blog?

I realize that the odds are 1,000,000 to 1 that it's the other way around. I just can't decide which scenario is funnier.

Posted by: JayC at December 15, 2009 09:35 AM (+wAEK)

47 Imagine the disappointment when you agree to a rest-stop meet-up with a guy online calling himself "RawMuscleGlutes" and a fat, bald Andrew Sullivan shows up. Oh, wait, it's a rest-stop meet-up. You don't give a shit WHO shows up.

Posted by: JDW at December 15, 2009 09:35 AM (uw+0A)

48 At least a 75% chance that all snowbeasts will be dead in 5 to 7 years.

Posted by: Al Gore at December 15, 2009 09:35 AM (DIYmd)

49 Don't get on the plane ace.

Posted by: Diane Warrick at December 15, 2009 09:36 AM (SqAkN)

That's a terrible safeword for people into Tauntaun play.

I don't care who you are, that right there is funny, thanks for the laugh HeatherRadish!

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 15, 2009 09:41 AM (RZ8pf)

Want to witness a small miracle?

Yeah, get my 16 year old to clean her room - that would be a small miracle.

Posted by: Mallamutt at December 15, 2009 09:42 AM (hKyl0)

52 Snowbeast. Somewhere in the article it should say who actually wrote it.

Posted by: Greg Q at December 15, 2009 09:44 AM (87k2j)

53 Banana! Banana! For Christ's sake Banana!

Posted by: Peter Griffin at December 15, 2009 09:45 AM (mGSN1)

54 SNOWBEAST!!!!!!!

Posted by: Chicken in handcuffs at December 15, 2009 09:47 AM (RD7QR)

55 @42 DAMN YOU WOMAN! Victory is mine!

Posted by: stewie at December 15, 2009 09:52 AM (RF9zO)

56 PLEASE talk about anything but Tiger Woods. All quality talk radio has gone down this path and hasn't come back.

Posted by: MelodicMetal at December 15, 2009 09:57 AM (x4S2a)

57

"SNOWBEAST"

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at December 15, 2009 10:12 AM (OmBSC)

58 I'm just a lowly Grunt that loves his Country!

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at December 15, 2009 10:14 AM (OmBSC)

59 I give your safeword a B+. My trust is about a B+, too.

Posted by: Potosi Joel at December 15, 2009 10:14 AM (xyuma)

60 THEY KILLED KENNY!!!!!!

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 15, 2009 10:18 AM (JKGfQ)

61 When both (or all three) of you are breathing heavily, "Snowbeast" can sound a lot like "Now, bitch."

I mean, that's what I've heard.

Posted by: Michael at December 15, 2009 10:33 AM (siOQ7)

62 So you're saying that the password to login as Ace and abuse his posting integrity is Snowbeast? Don't think any morons could crack that suv=btle code.

Posted from aboard a Greyhound bus. Who knew they had wifi?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at December 15, 2009 10:55 AM (Uj1R7)

A fumble in the ballpark? Is there a penalty box?

Yes, that's where they hand out the yellow cards for every spare.

Posted by: Ace the XIV at December 15, 2009 11:35 AM (2qU2d)

Ace, did you say tryst or trust?

Trussed. Do I have to take the leather mask off of you, runningrn? (You can keep the nurse's outfit on, however.)

Posted by: plain ace at December 15, 2009 11:36 AM (2qU2d)

65 Whatever you do , don't , for the love of God , say yub-yub .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 15, 2009 12:23 PM (vKdhq)

66 Cerebral juices is the new Atlantic code for semen? Who knew. Who cares.

Posted by: dr kill at December 15, 2009 01:36 PM (fnXhn)

67 You trust me, right?

No. Which is why my tips to your tip jar are non-sequential small bills, attached to a large brick, thrown thru your window. And I wear a non-descript work glove found in the trash while handling the money and the money delivery system.

After which I give the glove to a hobo living on the end of your street, knowing full well he's your most likely next victim hunting target, and that the resulting blood and chicken beating will compromise any remaining evidence, rendering me mostly anonymous.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 15, 2009 01:47 PM (1hM1d)

68 Wait...that wasn't your window? my bad...

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at December 15, 2009 01:48 PM (1hM1d)

69 Snow Breast! well that's what I thought you said.

Posted by: Tiger Woods at December 15, 2009 03:30 PM (T1boi)

Just remember the safeword is "snowbeast." You say "snowbeast" and I promise I'll immediately stop whatever I'm doing and make sure you're okay.

Ha! Like none of you ever saw a horror movie.

Posted by: Decaf at December 16, 2009 06:39 AM (BoFBr)

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