December 07, 2009

Carry On My Wayward Sun: Al Gore Poetry Slam!
— Ace

I saw a couple of references to this in the comments, and a mention in the headline of an email; just saw now what the heck people are talking about.

He wrote this as the introduction to the new tree-killing apocalypse-hastening book he just wrote called Our Choice. Vanity Fair calls it "odd" that none of the reviewers mention the poem; I don't call it odd at all. I call it doing a solid for a retard you're fond of, like not pointing out he has ice cream cake all over his head.

Full Poem now added, courtesy of Reverend Al's Muse.


One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune's bones dissolve

Snow glides from the mountain
Ice fathers floods for a season
A hard rain comes quickly

Then dirt is parched
Kindling is placed in the forest
For the lightning's celebration

Unknown creatures
Take their leave, unmourned
Horsemen ready their stirrups

Passion seeks heroes and friends
The bell of the city
On the hill is rung

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

Here's what Vanity Fair says about the poem:


The result is a surprisingly accomplished, nuanced piece of writing. The images Gore conjures in his (untitled) poem turn a neat trick: they are visually specific and emotionally arresting even as they are scientifically accurate.

Here's what I have to say:

Reviewers fail to mention
Gore's descent into sophomoric senility
Hide the decline

I do admit "lightning's celebration" isn't so bad. But pretty much any amateur college Poetry 101 attendee comes up with a similar successful mix-and-match word pairing like every third assignment.

Oh! It seems like I shouldn't even have to say this, but I hereby decree another Al Gore Poetry Jam Slam!

Remember, this is just an exhibition, not a competition.

Re-Post: The first post ever on this site-- apart from a post that simply said "Test" -- was "The Donkey," a parody of The Raven, mostly about Al Gore.

It's a bit dated -- looking, as it did, forward to the 2004 elections -- but I still think it's pretty good. Here's the link: Caution: Flagrant Potty-Mouth and General Puerility.


Posted by: Ace at 02:26 PM | Comments (305)
Post contains 392 words, total size 3 kb.

1 Dear sweet Jesus. 

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 02:28 PM (UOM48)

2 THAT is "scientifically accurate"?!?!?!?

Holy crap.  That right there has to be the single most devastating counterargument to the notion that the media has any say in who and what qualifies as science.  Period.

Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at December 07, 2009 02:29 PM (SxA2Q)

3 The Arctic is not a continent.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 02:29 PM (mGSN1)

4 LOL @ added verse.

Posted by: Amused Observer at December 07, 2009 02:29 PM (Uy/AI)

5 Haiku be damned!!

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (rQTdM)

6 The Goreacle never disappoints.  Imagine him as president for the past eight years, followed by The One.  The fucktardedness would make Sweden look like Texas.  Or Georgia.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (UOM48)

7 "Fever settles on an acid sea"

Somebody's sailing on an acid sea, and I don't think it's fever......

Posted by: Intrepid at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (92zkk)

8

Here are your tools

Vanity Fair's editors are the tools.

Posted by: huerfano at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (vtuZz)

9 Al's a fucking fool, and Graydon Cater's been a complete imbecile since he realized he supported Chimpy McHitlerhalliburtonbush for 2 minutes after 9/11 and devoted his life to The Full Johnson before Chuckles ever got around to it.

Posted by: ushie at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (GkYyh)

10 Maybe it's my uncreative soul but that's just an awful poem.

Posted by: IC at December 07, 2009 02:31 PM (h3M6A)

11
meh, needs more baboons eating figs under trees

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:32 PM (6zk5L)

12
wow you morons know what this is, right?

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:33 PM (6zk5L)

13 Can you morons not see and feel the transcendent beauty of this literary masterpiece ?
No ?
Me either .

Posted by: awkward davies at December 07, 2009 02:33 PM (wb68R)

14 Reverend Al is the shepherd. You are the sheep. Prepare to be sheared.

Posted by: Reverend Al's Muse at December 07, 2009 02:34 PM (QJzQi)

15 aka, What?

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 02:34 PM (jlvw3)

16 12
wow you morons know what this is, right?

A cry for help?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 02:34 PM (mGSN1)

17 That brings tears to my eyes.  Or maybe it's that smell coming from my blog.

Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 07, 2009 02:34 PM (mka2b)

18
This poem, this poem here, are the first verses in the Global Warming Bible.

Instead of Genesis, this is Goreisis.

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:34 PM (6zk5L)

19 What rhymes with "Man-bear-pig Fart?"

Posted by: Barney Frank at December 07, 2009 02:35 PM (QECjC)

20 Needs more apes.

And figs.

Posted by: nickless at December 07, 2009 02:35 PM (MMC8r)

21 Whose woods these are I think I know, His house is in the village, though, I do not think he'll mind me stopping here To get a free blowjob off a Danish mouth-whore.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 02:35 PM (jlvw3)

22 I need Cap 'n' Trade

So Al Gore can keep a job

Barack 0bama

Posted by: logprof at December 07, 2009 02:36 PM (I3Udb)

23 The full poem: One thin September soon A floating continent disappears In midnight sun Vapors rise as Fever settles on an acid sea Neptune's bones dissolve Snow glides from the mountain Ice fathers floods for a season A hard rain comes quickly Then dirt is parched Kindling is placed in the forest For the lightning's celebration Unknown creatures Take their leave, unmourned Horsemen ready their stirrups Passion seeks heroes and friends The bell of the city On the hill is rung The shepherd cries The hour of choosing has arrived Here are your tools

Posted by: Reverend Al's Muse at December 07, 2009 02:36 PM (QJzQi)

24
I feel a Maya Angeloo poem percolating...


Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:36 PM (6zk5L)

25 Gore-ku??

Posted by: Pogo at December 07, 2009 02:36 PM (RaX26)

26 Al Gore gotta eat. A lot.

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (rQTdM)

27 Ace that was so beautiful .
 Awkward wipes single tear away .

Posted by: awkward davies at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (wb68R)

28 Thin September
Inept amateur poetry
Fat guy goes bonkers.

Posted by: joncelli at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (Ko4Av)

29

rudimentary elements abound

osmosis and time mix down

Gored by the bull

Posted by: sonnyspats at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (ozpeF)

30

Gore is definitely the key word here.

A floating continent disappears

Is this like one of those games where you count how many things are wrong with this picture?

Posted by: Mama AJ, linkprof at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (Be4xl)

31 "One thin September soon..."

This entire poem is nothing more than a metaphor for Al Gore's yearning desire to lose some weight.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 07, 2009 02:37 PM (ZtwUX)

32 The earth in mortal peril
hamburgers I shall sequester
my girth increasing as
my sanity so fleeting

Posted by: jcp at December 07, 2009 02:38 PM (DHNp4)

33 I'm -still- boggled at the notion that that poem is "scientifically accurate".  Even if I believed the global warming hoax, I'd still be nauseated by that claim.  I think I can make half a dozen people convert just by showing them the poem, and then VF calling it science.

Qwinn

Posted by: Qwinn at December 07, 2009 02:38 PM (SxA2Q)

34 Camembert Fig tart

Posted by: SarahW at December 07, 2009 02:38 PM (CSrvi)

35 I fart fully, into my cupped hand; a fistful of sphicter.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 02:38 PM (jlvw3)

36 Heat, fever and dry.
You become that what is
<bongo bongo bongo>
Deny not though absorb
Birth of another with that
<tomtomtom>

<snap fingers>

Posted by: Goracle 3:25 at December 07, 2009 02:38 PM (Am6n/)

37

In the future bad bad warming
Bad bad bad bad bad
The polar ice cap goes south

Like it has a thousand times before
But I'm convinved I'm the cause
This time

After all, man is all powerful
All that nature can do isn't enough
I do so love the word "all"

The sun is just a large, yellow beachball
Beachballs never warm anything
Like fart gas does.  And dragon breath.

Aeolis cries in his tears
Cow flatulence comes from their rears
Poseidon enjoys no beers

Two bits, four bits, six bits, a dollar
All for the hockey team
Stand up and holler

Unknown creatures
In underwater grottoes
Stepping on figs, the apes eat

My throat is parched
Because AGW marched
Better get a burger at the double arch

The shepard cries
He has no Micky D french fries
They melted along with the lies

Posted by: Jek Porkins at December 07, 2009 02:39 PM (i9FLw)

38 In midnight sun
Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea

I didn't know there were shepherds on Venus.  That Hubble is one great telescope.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 07, 2009 02:39 PM (DIYmd)

39 Where are my tools

Into the snow feathered shed

The forest has lightning struck tree stumps

O sh@t, the bonfire will not be extinguished

Posted by: vagabond trader at December 07, 2009 02:39 PM (YHes1)

40

I call it doing a solid for a retard you're fond of, like not pointing out he has ice cream cake all over his head.

Heehee.

Posted by: Jek Porkins at December 07, 2009 02:39 PM (i9FLw)

41

The hot sun rises over the mountains of Tennessee

Where Al Gore has but one of  his lofty homes

And jet, and houseboat with jet-ski and speedboat and fleet of SUVs

All paid for by a gullible public in need of carbon credits and salvation.

Posted by: huerfano at December 07, 2009 02:39 PM (vtuZz)

42 fucking floating continent? Which one, big ol dumb al? Atlantis? Jeebus what a whore

Posted by: Frank G at December 07, 2009 02:40 PM (I+To0)

43 Thin September that was about, oh, 40 years ago. But food is delicious.

Posted by: THe Great one at December 07, 2009 02:40 PM (CSrvi)

44 This whole thing is just getting too bizarre. 

Posted by: kansas at December 07, 2009 02:40 PM (mka2b)

45 Hide the decline
Schtupp the Danish ho
Pretty much the same

Posted by: joncelli at December 07, 2009 02:40 PM (Ko4Av)

46 Out, damn sock puppet!

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 07, 2009 02:40 PM (QECjC)

47
I Know Why The Vice President Sings

Sheets Sheets O Glorious Sheets of Ice
Why do the Jews hate you?
The White Devils smother you with their smog and cash

Little Snow Flakes
Why So Scared?
Please Come Back
We Need You
We Need You
We Need You

O Little Dew Drop
On The Plains of Africa
So Dry In This Place
Dead Bones Of Slaves

Who Will Save Us?
Algore, is it you?
My Sweet Shepherd Prince, is it you?

Flying Down From The Sky
Riding On A Cloud
Slaying Jews and Toppling Smoke Stack

We Are Saved!
We Are Saved!
We Are Saved

Posted by: Maya Angeloo at December 07, 2009 02:41 PM (6zk5L)

48

In the glare of the computer screen

I sit alone.

Yet not alone.

Because I've finally found a way to get

people to hang on my words.

The commenter cries

The hour of linking has arrived

Here are your tools:

Copy, hit the link button,

Count carefully your https.

Paste, post and pray.

Posted by: Mama AJ, linkprof at December 07, 2009 02:41 PM (Be4xl)

49 @37  I don't care who y'are, that's funny right there.

Posted by: Lawrence the Cable Gentleman at December 07, 2009 02:41 PM (15SHw)

50 I have a heart as big as all outdoors. No, really.

Posted by: THe Great one at December 07, 2009 02:41 PM (CSrvi)

51 Three chins and moobs calorie and mental denseness Low carb diet more productive than low carbon (not meant to be a Haiku)

Posted by: mare at December 07, 2009 02:42 PM (X1fsj)

52 50 I have a heart as big as all outdoors.
No, really.

Hey, I have an ass that big.

Posted by: Al Gore at December 07, 2009 02:42 PM (mka2b)

53 By the way, next time we're in power can we PLEASE dismantle the freaking EPA??

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 07, 2009 02:42 PM (QECjC)

54 ...did you notice that horse is really hung...

Posted by: andycanuck at December 07, 2009 02:43 PM (2qU2d)

55 Haiku to Al:

Heavy with blubber.
Not a baby? No. He's fat
Quick, hide the ding dongs.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 02:43 PM (mGSN1)

56 We must stop the flatulent gasses
Emanating from the masses,
Gaze upon my ugly mug,
and think to yourself, Butt Plug.

Posted by: Al Gore at December 07, 2009 02:43 PM (DIYmd)

57 Should have been "caloric." Damn it.

Posted by: mare at December 07, 2009 02:43 PM (X1fsj)

58

Maybe he cancelled his $1200 meet and greet because he heard that he was going to get pelted for this trash.  I would consider plonking $1200 down if it gave me the opportunity to hurl some food at him, preferably a large pumpkin at close range.

Posted by: GrimJack at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (iTA1p)

59
V8, oh V8
oh Internal Combustion
Die
Die
Die
DieDie
DieDie
DieDie
DieDieDie
DieDieDie
DieDieDie


Reborn

Ohms Law


Posted by: Goracle 9:20 at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (Am6n/)

60 the chocolate jesus

melts under

the oppressive sun


and chlorofluorocarbons.

Posted by: angler at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (Yv052)

61 And a Hard Rain is Gonna Fall.

Posted by: SouthTexas at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (2E0a0)

62 A dick! A dick! My kingdom for a dick!

Posted by: algore richard the turd at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (2qU2d)

63 AlGore gently weeps
Must stay relevant after
Bitter 2000

Posted by: rktkt at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (Sv9VC)

64

Science is dead

This is It's head

Posted by: eleven at December 07, 2009 02:44 PM (b6HHO)

65 The Gulfstreams converge
On the City of Snuff
and belch out their nasty cargoes

The deceivers project
their mind-numbing stupidity
onto those who choose to continue to think

For edicts shall be passed
and laws enacted to permit
the continued environmentalist fap-fapping

and once the damage has been wrought
will those responsible for this abortion
be exempt from the guillotine?

I thinketh not.

fin

Posted by: TXMarko at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (c78Jk)

66

Like in my other poems

I show here that

I don't know fuck-all

about meter.

But...

It just doesn't fucking matter

Because I made two hundred million

Big American dollars

Off the idiots

...and that's the truth ...Pfffft!!

Posted by: Fat Albert Gore at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (AnTyA)

67 -

Little Birdie

With Your Beak Pressed Against the Bakery Window

There are no Crumbs for You Today

Only Death.

As a result of the the failed policies of  George Bush.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (ruzrP)

68 To Haiku or not,
For Al Gore's global warming,
stunk air like bad shit.


Posted by: Old Sailor at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (/Ft4q)

69

The P.M.R.C. took away my Crüe,
made frigid Tipper,
and melted Al GoreÂ’s brain forever.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (4TWQM)

70 Semi-O/T:

Krauthammer, a man not know for carelessness with his words, just said on Fox if the EPA regulations are enacted "Obama will have a revolution on his hands." 

Posted by: Iskandar at December 07, 2009 02:45 PM (u1pln)

71 To secure the skeptic's silence
on his climate crock,
he piles pompous puerile poetry
on his faithful flock,
who harass the hated heretics
with troll like talk
and purchase carbon credits,
til their home's in hock.

With apologies to W.S.Gilbert.

Posted by: OldManRick at December 07, 2009 02:46 PM (dNXKt)

72 The Goracle really does put the COCK in Cockholster.

Posted by: billygoat at December 07, 2009 02:46 PM (DrB2V)

73 Cow farts must be stopped
Chewing air like so much cud
My plane flies through it

Posted by: AlGore at December 07, 2009 02:46 PM (Sv9VC)

74 The earth is dying, Here ye not her call of woe? She lies upon the floor bleeding, Plus, you're stepping on her hair, too.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 02:46 PM (jlvw3)

75 Drive my SUV on a summer night
Kill the polar bears.  Kill the polar bears.
Al Gore is yelling, do he bite?
Kill the polar bears.  Kill the polar bears.

Posted by: Tyrone Green at December 07, 2009 02:46 PM (saRwI)

76 edgar allen poe
clad in a spandex jumper
al gore looks good now

Posted by: 13times at December 07, 2009 02:47 PM (GPNG3)

77 "Plus, you're stepping on her hair, too." I hate when that happens.

Posted by: mare at December 07, 2009 02:47 PM (X1fsj)

78

One fat December later
A sinking theory disappears
In the disenfecting light


 

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (RZ8pf)

79
speaking of revolutions...

this announcement come on the same day that lawmakers up here in Massachusetts are yet again trying to pass a gas-tax hike.

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (6zk5L)

80
I do not love thee, Doctor Gore.
The reason why, I have foreswore;
But this I know, and know full bore,
I do not love thee, Doctor Gore.

Posted by: eleven at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (b6HHO)

81

I should have gone with the first draft:

A midnight run
Vapid is as vapid does
Fever settles in for some acid tea

Astro glide from the fountain
Vanilla Ice fathers broods without a reason
A hard pein comes quickly

Joe dirt is parched
Kindly place in the forest
It's a frightening celebration

Shep cries
The hour of acusing has arrived
We are tools

Posted by: Al Gore at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (QXKjZ)

82 -

You Cannot Spell
"Carbon Dioxide"
without
DIE.
or CAR
Think About It.

"It" Being Dying Because of Your Car.

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (ruzrP)

83 It's Over, Sarah

Fast and bulbous, ace's ass furrows and splits his office chair
as his ideology sows the teeth
whence comes the Dragon bitch

Posted by: Galen at December 07, 2009 02:48 PM (/gil1)

84 Good thing my wife left to go play bridge before Ace put this up.  I got about 2 shots of bourbon in before reading it while cranking up the stereo.

(Leon Redbone Christmas album)

Posted by: Vic at December 07, 2009 02:49 PM (CDUiN)

85 Dig it... Dig it...

[snaps both fingers a few times]

Posted by: G$ at December 07, 2009 02:49 PM (nxYGK)

86 I wrote an angry letter to the PMRC and Tipper attached a short note to the form letter response I got back.  She misspelled two words in a note of two sentences.  Nikki Sixx can spell better than that.

Posted by: ushie at December 07, 2009 02:49 PM (GkYyh)

87 Oh ignorant masses you shall never know
Gaia in the same I know her,
If you know what I mean and I think you do,
For she is a bitch, gone in the teeth,
But damn she can slobber a knob.
If you know what I mean and I think you do.

Posted by: joncelli at December 07, 2009 02:50 PM (Ko4Av)

88 Like a bridge over frigid waters
Al garfunkled you.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 02:50 PM (4TWQM)

89

The thing 'bout global warming

That I find so alarming

Is that my data

Won't fit

 

I try to make it hotter

Than physics says it otter

Be in real life

Oh spit!

Posted by: 5Cats at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (O5yP8)

90

And, can I just say as a real live actual English major who has too many poetry classes under her belt, this poem is worse than a piece of drivel. My advanced poetry teacher would have vivisected it and then she would have held up its gory entrails for the rest of the class to mock.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (RZ8pf)

91 ONce upon a midnight sun dreary while I pondered, beefy and bleary over many a failed endeavor Hey who does this AGW help? Al Gore!

Posted by: THe Great one at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (CSrvi)

92

Check out the tauts on her.
Oh, sorry, that's not a "her", it's Al Gore.
I'm happy I didn't mention the analogy.

Posted by: lord byron at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (2qU2d)

93 As black as coal is,
There's reason not to burn it,
You're not one of them.

Posted by: Old Sailor at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (/Ft4q)

94 Every morn and every night,
Gaia's blessings bring delight.
Every night and every morn,
Another freaking moron's born.
They abhor logic, and critical thinking,
Their crazy theories a product of drinking.
Soon they'll die under the midday sun,
And Gaia will, it will be done.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 02:51 PM (mGSN1)

95 What shall I wear to Denmark?
The suit that makes me look fat?
or the one that I make look too small?

Please God, if You don't snow this meeting
Out like You've done for my past 4 conferences
I promise to stop fisting Tipper with the Oscar

That is if You answer my other prayer
About keeping the Oscar

Posted by: alppuccino at December 07, 2009 02:52 PM (+x80N)

96 Aw man. Posted that pre-poe in the top post.

Posted by: SarahW at December 07, 2009 02:52 PM (CSrvi)

97 -

CO2 Snack-Ku

The Jiffy-Pop rises
because my brain wills it so.
I'm AL GORE, dammit.

-

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 07, 2009 02:52 PM (ruzrP)

98 Plus, Al's got a face like spilled pie filling.

Posted by: ushie at December 07, 2009 02:52 PM (GkYyh)

99 Al, your scam is clever
An Ima gonna let you finish,
But the sun made
the best global warmer ever.

Posted by: Kayne dick West at December 07, 2009 02:53 PM (DIYmd)

100
If Algore wrote a poem about nuance, would the world end? I mean, the nuance would be magnified exponentially, could we handle that much nuance?




Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 02:53 PM (6zk5L)

101 One September soon
Al is in a padded room
And all is well (well, better)

Posted by: Freida Lay at December 07, 2009 02:53 PM (ax4Qo)

102 Breaking News:  The planet is saved!  A passing Vogon Battlecruiser, about to demolish the planet to make way for an intergalactic freeway, turns about and leaves upon reading Gore's poetry, saying, "Dudes, there's nothing in the galaxy worth the risk of finding oneself strapped to a table and being forced to listen to that stuff."  The entire Vogon civilization has since gone into seclusion, attempting to produce poetry as vile and horrific as what they heard on an insignificant blue planet on the third spiral arm of the milky way.
 

Posted by: Qwinn at December 07, 2009 02:54 PM (SxA2Q)

103 And Gaia will, it will be done. = And Gaia's will, it will be done.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 02:55 PM (mGSN1)

104 Fat, retired pol
Hates to do some honest work
Hey, let's scam the rubes!

Posted by: joncelli at December 07, 2009 02:55 PM (Ko4Av)

105 Can anybody tell me what Dowah Diddy means?

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at December 07, 2009 02:55 PM (rQTdM)

106 .

dirt dancin hippy
stinks of patchouli and ass
steal her subaru

Posted by: 13times at December 07, 2009 02:55 PM (GPNG3)

107 Activate the @JTLol Signal!

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 07, 2009 02:56 PM (NPtVh)

108

One month soon 

The Jewish nation may disappear

In nuclear fire

The world's leaders

Have their petty priorities

All fucked up.

The Sun doesn't care 

About the edicts of humans

Neptune is ghey

And in the end, 

There will be only chaos!

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 07, 2009 02:56 PM (otlXg)

109
Polar Bear
Tropic Bear
Same Shit
Soon
Bitches

Posted by: Goracle 6:21 at December 07, 2009 02:56 PM (Am6n/)

110

Baracky wrote the following while at Occidental College:

UNDERGROUND

Under water grottos, caverns

Filled with apes

That eat figs.

Stepping on the figs

That the apes

Eat, they crunch.

The apes howl, bare

Their fangs, dance,

Tumble in the

Rushing water,

Musty, wet pelts

Glistening in the blue.

...if my 4th grader had turned in something like this, I would have gotten a call from the school administration saying I should bring her to specialists to test to see if she is retarded

Posted by: beedubya at December 07, 2009 02:57 PM (AnTyA)

111 Can anybody tell me what Dowah Diddy means?

LOL, got that album too!

Posted by: Vic at December 07, 2009 02:57 PM (CDUiN)

112 Al Gore dissolved Neptune's bones!

Posted by: wHodat at December 07, 2009 02:58 PM (+sBB4)

113 Now is the winter of our discontent

made glorious summer by 1200 limos in  Copenhagen

and all the acid rain clouds that hung above our heads

like  polar bears lie buried in the oceans bosom

our bruised arms now beat into plowshares for the proles

 wall decoration at the White House to replace the creche of  black Jesus

Posted by: vagabond trader at December 07, 2009 02:58 PM (YHes1)

114 Hey, now I know you're a Redbone fan.

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at December 07, 2009 02:59 PM (rQTdM)

115 @ 50 "I have a heart as big as all outdoors." I have the heart of a small boy. And I keep it in a jar of formaldehyde on my desk.

Posted by: Mark Twain at December 07, 2009 02:59 PM (sOpAl)

116 -

I
took
my farts
and bottled them up.
I gave Al Gore my bottles.

He
looked
surprised
but thanked me much.
Which prove's Al Gore's a moron.

.


Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 07, 2009 02:59 PM (ruzrP)

117 Earth in the balance.
Carbon footprint CO2.
Gore sucks his muffler.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (4TWQM)

118 112 Al Gore dissolved Neptune's bones!

I always figured Poseidon (Neptune) was a pansy.  He ruled the seas and yet I had to take care of that stupid Hydra for him.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (otlXg)

119 Half a league
Half a league
Half a league onward!
Into the valley of caviar
And Danish hookers
Rode the 400.

Posted by: joncelli at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (Ko4Av)

120

without a group to rebut

a meeting was called by guzzel gut

In Copenhaugen Daz

Heat daddy will be first in line

to get some free hooker behind

then propose more tax

to keep up the supply of big macks

when UN regulators step on US soil

they will reap the rewards of our toil

 

Posted by: hot topic at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (ozpeF)

121 Radiant cool, crazy nightmare
Zen New Jersey nowhere...
How now, brown bureaucrat?

Posted by: springfield beatnik at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (2qU2d)

122 Lard-ass bard bleating,
Fair Gaia's wetness heating,
Mann-made lie cheating

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 07, 2009 03:00 PM (j6H6o)

123 PAUL RUDD: You know how I know you're gay? AL GORE: How? PAUL RUDD: You write poems about polar bears.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 03:01 PM (jlvw3)

124 Oh, go blow your stench,
Mister Gore - my garden grows,
Up your anus past.

Posted by: Old Sailor at December 07, 2009 03:01 PM (/Ft4q)

125 Well, its better than apes and figs. Barely.

Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 07, 2009 03:02 PM (PQY7w)

126 al gores tear streaked cheeks
i raise my hand to strike
again
security detail laughing
jeezus , what a pussy

Posted by: awkward davies at December 07, 2009 03:03 PM (wb68R)

127

The Guys don't need shirts.

Posted by: Paul Anka at December 07, 2009 03:03 PM (Am6n/)

128

Oh Al Gore....

Please make me poor....

Bend me over, and show me the Door....

Do not Lube.....

Just give me the Tube....

And reach around and rub my Rube...

Oh Al Gore.....

How I do Adore....

 

 

 

  

 

Posted by: 52%-er at December 07, 2009 03:03 PM (fqxV7)

129

Lard-ass bard bleating,
Fair Gaia's wetness heating,
Mann-made lie cheating

The MSM beating.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 07, 2009 03:04 PM (2qU2d)

130

I can't write poetry, but I really hate Al Gore's face.  Look at his face!  He's so fat, his chin not only has other chins, his cheeks have more cheeks!  His dimples are outties!  Even his eyebrows are fatties!  Soon enough, his face will be so fat that his ears will end up behind his head, right next to each other!  Even his nose has fat, and I can't even fathom how his face managed to accomplish nose fat.  He's as neckless as Charles Durning, and someday his eyes will vanish between his fat pouchy eyelids, and I also don't know how he managed to grow fat inside his eyelids.  His lips are not fat; they only look like two earthworms crawling over the suety deposits of his lower face.  He's like a mutant of fatitude. 

I dislike Al Gore profoundly.

Posted by: ushie at December 07, 2009 03:04 PM (GkYyh)

131 We all enter this world in the same way
Soaked in blood, screaming and quite bare
But if you live your life in the right way
That kind of thing doesn't have to stop there

Posted by: wHodat at December 07, 2009 03:07 PM (+sBB4)

132 I dedicate the following poem, work of another Nobel Laureate fraudster and America-hater, to Al "Fat Bloated Imbecile" Gore:

Under water grottos, caverns

Filled with apes

That eat figs.

Stepping on the figs

That the apes

Eat, they crunch.

The apes howl, bare

Their fangs, dance,

Tumble in the

Rushing water,

Musty, wet pelts

Glistening in the blue.

No ... I have no idea what it means or why anyone would write it, but I'd watch out for the apes.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 07, 2009 03:07 PM (A46hP)

133 The powerplant surges as my house energizes The lake shudders as I steer my powerboat The skies are rent by my private jet My bank account bulges So does my waistline Life is good Thanks, suckers!

Posted by: Reverend Al's Muse at December 07, 2009 03:08 PM (QJzQi)

134 The shepherd lies
The hour of cap n' trade has arrived
Choke on it  you tools

Posted by: Terry at December 07, 2009 03:09 PM (Vui52)

135 Posted by: beedubya at December 07, 2009 06:57 PM (AnTyA)

Oops. You already got The Precedent's brilliant poetry up.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 07, 2009 03:09 PM (A46hP)

136 -

The polar bear
sleeps
in his little bear skin
He
sleeps
very well I am told

Last night
I slept
in my little bare skin
and I
caught
a heckuva cold.

.

Posted by: BumperStickerist at December 07, 2009 03:09 PM (ruzrP)

137 Al Gore -- proud new member of the Brain Dead Poets Society

Posted by: little evil at December 07, 2009 03:09 PM (ComJY)

138 slap it on the bing-bong lick it like a ding-dong nunchucks on the fly, horny beef on rye, watch my lizard cry, Hitler.

Posted by: Dennis Finch at December 07, 2009 03:09 PM (jlvw3)

139 Bat
Chain
Puller

Puller
Puller

Posted by: Corona at December 07, 2009 03:10 PM (+xghX)

140
Fuck you Mr. Polar Bear

Think rising temps give me a scare?

Upon thin ice,

tread if you dare.

If you fall in,

you can swim -

what the fuck do I care?

Posted by: Dang at December 07, 2009 03:10 PM (UA4gE)

141 Heavenly Father,
They know not what they do. Jerks.
Smite them with Skittles.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 03:11 PM (mGSN1)

142 Tennessee's liar laughs at many broken models.
These are men who have been bought.
Lies now burned by fire.
Their progress makes no noise.
You can't hinder the hot wind from blowing.
Crimes come from the teachers.
How will they live through Hopen-Changen?

In the darkness with a great bundle of grief
the libtards march.
In the night, the ass-trumpet sounds,
the libtard lemmings march:
"Where to? what next"

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 07, 2009 03:12 PM (j6H6o)

143 Even with
     a hundred proxies and
     a thousand sockpuppets and
     a myriad spinning tops,
erg has still got nothing.

Posted by: OregonMuse at December 07, 2009 03:14 PM (tClfg)

144

The Flim-Flam Man

 

76 Albores led the scam charade

with a 101  libtards near at hand

They were followed by rows and rows of the finest media hens;

The cream of every famous scam.

 

76 Albores skipped the burning sun

with a 110 UN harpies right behind

There were more than a 1000 political hacks springing up like weeds,

There were offsets of every kind.

 

There were crapper bottom tympani in horse patookie  Thundering, thundering, all along the way Double bell euphoniums and big flatuloolie Each Bore having his big fat say  There were fifty thousand lies in the battery Thundering, thundering, louder than before Liars of every size and medacites who'd improvise  A full octave higher than the score   Seventy six Albores hit the counter point  While a hundred and ten Libtards played the air  To the rhythm of 'Hew Hew Hew' All the libs began to spew

 And they're spewing still, right today

 

More Apologies to M. Willson

 

Posted by: Vic at December 07, 2009 03:15 PM (CDUiN)

145 CO2, H2S, H2SO4
What the heck have you been doing,
with all that gas, be Gore?

Posted by: Old Sailor at December 07, 2009 03:16 PM (/Ft4q)

146
I can see the Earth warming.
Through the holes in the ozone.
Caused by acid rain.
As they burn down the Amazon.
Apocalypse now.
Charley donÂ’t surf.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 03:16 PM (4TWQM)

147 I wear manly brown
and canoe on manly made lakes
sticking my tongue down Tipper's throat

Dip down deep deep deep
Into your pockets Buddhist monks
When I all from my office

I am the controlling legal authority.



Posted by: Manbearpig at December 07, 2009 03:16 PM (ZtwUX)

148

#7 Somebody's sailing on an acid sea, and I don't think it's fever......

Late to the thread, but this made me laugh for a very long time.

Posted by: Daisy at December 07, 2009 03:17 PM (T0ga9)

149

Ominous clouds loom

E-mail messages are hacked

Sphincters shut tightly

Posted by: Cicero at December 07, 2009 03:17 PM (QKKT0)

150 It's times like this at AoSHQ when I wish that poetry was in my skill set.

Then I consider that "poet" is a common synonym for "homo" and I don't feel so bad.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 07, 2009 03:17 PM (l1Wlr)

151 Al Gore reminds me of Monty Python, doing their own important poem, "I Like Traffic Lights." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbPovgCP5BU

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 03:18 PM (jlvw3)

152 I cleaned off much better poetry from shit-house walls.

Posted by: Al the gas station janitor at December 07, 2009 03:18 PM (Vui52)

153 Carry on my wayward Sun There'll be peace when you are done You've shown almost no sunspots for two years Don't you cry no more

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 03:20 PM (jlvw3)

154 I think Al wrote this song, too

Posted by: Manbearpig at December 07, 2009 03:21 PM (ZtwUX)

155

Albert Goracle,

Time to have your head smashed in,

with my new hammer.

Posted by: wytshus at December 07, 2009 03:22 PM (C8byF)

156 Hickory dickory dock
my nuts fell out of my jock
I laid them to rest
on some hooker's chest
and paddled her face with my cock

Posted by: A. D. Clay at December 07, 2009 03:22 PM (IoUF1)

157 We get fondue? Damn.
They get hookers, blow and Nobels.
Se you guys later.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 03:22 PM (mGSN1)

158 The tools...are in the lockbox.

Posted by: Darcy at December 07, 2009 03:23 PM (cnJcX)

159 Gore is a dangerous mental case.

Posted by: Ken Royall at December 07, 2009 03:23 PM (zSfIL)

160

Oh, what is all this ClimateGate joy?

Have, get before it cloy

A side-order of pork-n-beans for the boy.

 

Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 07, 2009 03:23 PM (i9FLw)

161 Somewhere a Vogon is screaming "PLEASE STOP!!!!!!!!"

Posted by: Bob in Houston at December 07, 2009 03:23 PM (uSWv/)

162

we wrangled your trawlers with rubber rafts

then japanese whalers harpooned our ass

then cried in the forests over fallen trees

and only got multiple stings from bees

we peddle our bikes through the rush hour masses

while people in cars speedily pass us

our omnipotent guru doctor al gore

turns out to be a lying whore

 

 

Posted by: hot topic at December 07, 2009 03:24 PM (ozpeF)

163
Copenhagen.
Häagen-Dazs.
Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 03:25 PM (4TWQM)

164 There's tons of snow upon the ground.
They say there will be more.
I'd like to work my tensions out
By punching out Algore!

For making that mis-titled film
"An Inconvenient Truth",
I'd plow my fist into his jaw
And knock out every tooth!

His "global warming" 's nothing but
Pathetic myths and lies.
I'd drive my knee into his crotch
And blacken both his eyes!

Get this: he flies a private jet
To get from town to town!
Because he's such a hypocrite,
I'd love to beat him down!

Algore, you are a stupid man.
You're worthless, sad and weak.
I'm glad that you're not president,
Because you're such a freak!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 07, 2009 03:26 PM (Dxfei)

165

I think that I shall not explore
this poem as wooden as Al Gore.

Al Gore, whose sloppy mouth is prest
Against our country's flowing breast;

Al Gore, who stares in mirrors all day,
And lifts his flabby arms to bray;

Upon whose hot breath snow has melt;
who fakes science to reap danegelt.

Poems might be made by fools like Gore,
But please, God, please stop this whore.

Apologies to Joyce Kilmer.

 

Posted by: Satrboardhelm at December 07, 2009 03:27 PM (SgSfB)

166 best global warming comment I've heard was by Dick Cheney.  When asked about the phenomena, he replied, "Yes, it is getting warm and it's going to get even warmer:  it's called 'summer'".

Posted by: The Only Broad West of Denver Tiger Hasn't Boinked at December 07, 2009 03:32 PM (8g9qq)

167
Gore's raising the sea levels fast.
The story's un-toppable
He's quite PhotoShopable
melting ice with a flamethrower blast.

Because of that carbon-oh-two
the glaciers may cease to renew.
He warns they're receding
and that we're not heeding
an Arctic once white turning blue.

"We're doomed!" says that hypocrite Gore
"Those temps will continue to soar!
Dioxide of carbon
means putting less garb on
just Speedos and thongs, nothing more!"

Though he frets, Gore has always denied
warming's upbeat, its positive side.
The bikini prevails!
And booming beer sales!
And a market for more pesticide!

It's not ours to lose, but to gain.
With climatic change, profits reign.
The financial ruler?
Whoever's the cooler!
Invest in York or Lennox or Trane!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 07, 2009 03:33 PM (Dxfei)

168
Sweat drips from AlÂ’s lip.
EarthÂ’s temperature rises.
Flatulence abounds.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 03:33 PM (4TWQM)

169 Copenhagen

One thin December soon
A floating gasbag appears
In city of midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on whore-hop jamboree
Much Viagra involved

Hookers in the fountain
We remember not the reason
We had to come so quickly

Our throats are parched
More champagne on the tab
For our cult's celebration

Unknown creatures
Used in corridors, unmourned
Harnesses, whips, and stirrups

Passion seeks harlots and fiends
The bell of the city
On the sea is rung

The shepherd cries "whip me!"
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

Posted by: Al Gore, High Priestess of Gaia at December 07, 2009 03:34 PM (j6H6o)

170 Who's the white, fucking dick
That's a sex machine to hockey sticks?
Al Gore!
Ya damn right!
Who's the man with the environmental plan
Who'd risk nothing for his brother man?
Al gore,
Can you dig it?
Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's skittles all about?
Al Gore.
Right On!

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 03:34 PM (mGSN1)

171 There once was a gent on Nantucket,
Who made a blonde kick the bucket
As he put on his neck brace
And still won his Senate race
As long as I'm dry, well fuck it

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at December 07, 2009 03:36 PM (sYxEE)

172 Schemes of credits Untold riches. Fix this planet now You sorry bitches.

Posted by: Pecos Bill at December 07, 2009 03:37 PM (8WOM0)

173 I don't believe I'll ever see,
A thing as lovely as a tree
Unless my son's Porsche is wrapped around it..

Posted by: Algore, God of Thunder at December 07, 2009 03:38 PM (sYxEE)

174

all which isn't confirming is mere denying

and all denying's denying to oneself

(whether that oneself be sought or peer-approved)

masters or disciple or mail order PhD

 

gore is as deity or devil,

-toss in sobs and reasons twinkies and smiles

name it cruel science or blessed faith

it is we (i)scientists who matter, nobody else

 

drive dumb mankind crazy with treaty and EPA regs

you are deafened every mother's son

all is merely denying which isn't singing

and all denying's to oneself own, talk to the hand

 

but the very song of(as delegates feel

and lovers)denying is pretty much silence.

the science is settled

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 07, 2009 03:39 PM (Wh0W+)

175 A job is a job is a job

Posted by: Joe The Bard Biden at December 07, 2009 03:41 PM (sYxEE)

176 The figapes
dance no more in underwater grottoes, caverns
because all the fucking water evaporated
from global warming
also cocks

Posted by: Preznit ObaMao McStalinacorn at December 07, 2009 03:42 PM (IoUF1)

177
The Lord gave us dominion over the Earth, it is not just stupid, but actually sinful, not to exploit it to the fullest extent. The Earth is our bitch, let's do with her as we will!

Praise Jesus!

Fuck AlBore!

Posted by: sickinmass at December 07, 2009 03:42 PM (Dxfei)

178

Hide the decline.
There's no decline.
All is calm!  All is right!
There's no truth to the denier's claims.
Peer review and consensus reigns.
Sleep in ignorant peace! 
Sleep in your ignorant peace.

Posted by: Satrboardhelm at December 07, 2009 03:43 PM (SgSfB)

179 dave, Is that a parody? If so what poem? Tip of the tongue thing; sounds like ee cummings.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 03:44 PM (jlvw3)

180 because feeling is first?

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 03:45 PM (jlvw3)

181 There once was a fella named Al Who was every warm-monger's best pal Then some e-mails got leaked And the world took a peek Turns out Candyland was his locale

Posted by: Jim Treacher at December 07, 2009 03:46 PM (GrDz5)

182 Roses are red Carnations are pink The globe isn't warming And also, Al stinks

Posted by: Jim Treacher at December 07, 2009 03:46 PM (GrDz5)

183

NWP, I'll add the next verse:

Copenhagen.
Häagen-Dazs.
Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.

Farfegnugen
Frusen gladje
Get my ass to
Copenhagen

Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 07, 2009 03:47 PM (i9FLw)

184 Back in the USSR You don't know how lucky you are, boy Back in the USSR

Posted by: Paul McCartney at December 07, 2009 03:48 PM (jlvw3)

185 ee cummings, all which isn't singing is mere talking

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 07, 2009 03:50 PM (Wh0W+)

186 thanks, I guess the parentheses tipped me off.

Posted by: Paul McCartney at December 07, 2009 03:50 PM (jlvw3)

187 Hey, Al. The Vogons just called. They said your poetry sucks.

Posted by: Gregory of Yardale at December 07, 2009 03:52 PM (yxBaM)

188 For anybody who hasn't seen it, here is ObaMao's other "poem" (This "Pop" character is believed to be known pedophile and communist Frank Marshall Davis, who probably molested ObaMao on numerous occasions).  If this isn't teh ghey I don't know what is:

POP

Sitting in his seat, a seat broad and broken

In, sprinkled with ashes,

Pop switches channels, takes another

Shot of Seagrams, neat, and asks

What to do with me, a green young man

Who fails to consider the

Flim and flam of the world, since

Things have been easy for me;

I stare hard at his face, a stare

That deflects off his brow;

I'm sure he's unaware of his

Dark, watery eyes, that

Glance in different directions,

And his slow, unwelcome twitches,

Fail to pass.

I listen, nod,

Listen, open, till I cling to his pale,

Beige T-shirt, yelling,

Yelling in his ears, that hang

With heavy lobes, but he's still telling

His joke, so I ask why

He's so unhappy, to which he replies...

But I don't care anymore, cause

He took too damn long, and from

Under my seat, I pull out the

Mirror I've been saving; I'm laughing,

Laughing loud, the blood rushing from his face

To mine, as he grows small,

A spot in my brain, something

That may be squeezed out, like a

Watermelon seed between

Two fingers.

Pop takes another shot, neat,

Points out the same amber

Stain on his shorts that I've got on mine, and

Makes me smell his smell, coming

From me; he switches channels, recites an old poem

He wrote before his mother died,

Stands, shouts, and asks

For a hug, as I shrink, my

Arms barely reaching around

His thick, oily neck, and his broad back; 'cause

I see my face, framed within

Pop's black-framed glasses

And know he's laughing too.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at December 07, 2009 03:52 PM (IoUF1)

189 #170, nice.

Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 07, 2009 03:52 PM (i9FLw)

190 Roses are red,
violets are blue,
in Soviet Russia,
poem writes you

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at December 07, 2009 03:54 PM (IoUF1)

191 Vapid air, Vanity Fair,
There's a dumbness there
That burns the mind like acid

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 07, 2009 03:54 PM (j6H6o)

192 10 Maybe it's my uncreative soul but that's just an awful poem.

And it sucks to.

Posted by: Beavis at December 07, 2009 03:55 PM (kKP5O)

193

See the hook set in their mouth, polar bears all headed south!

We won't wait, for you.

Slight of hand, Mike's trick with dates, it can't be stopped, no it's too late.

Legislate, without you.

 

With or without you.

With or without you.

 

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 07, 2009 03:57 PM (Wh0W+)

194 Twas the night before Copenhagen
and all through the city,
all the climate scientists cried
"this cold weather is shitty".

I, in my Birkenstocks
a whore in a fur hat,
I forgot my coupon
to get free, some of that.

And what to my wondering eyes did appear
but 140 private jets
and a boatload of caviar.

Posted by: Kayne dick West at December 07, 2009 04:02 PM (DIYmd)

195
Nuclear winter.
Will freeze global warming.
Nuke Al Gore.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 04:02 PM (4TWQM)

196 Logy Ursa Maritimus adrift
Scanning the violent sea
Floes he needs nowhere

Swallows twit and flitter
Returning to Capistrano
Sooner than before

Older than man
Staid glaciers weep
A trillion tears

Barrier once Great
Eroded, etched, eaten
Barren dust bowl down undersea

A man once blind
Thunderclap visions he sees
Only trees, not the forest

Silent springs the reaper
Unseen, unheard, denied
Kind of like Forbidden Planet

A sucker born
Many minutes until doomsday
And Batman had stately Wayne Manor

Batman is a scientist
Who never won a Nobel Prize
Or Oscar, or Grammy

Fuck the dumb
I want in on the ground floor
You can never be too rich or too thin

Posted by: Howard J Turkster at December 07, 2009 04:02 PM (0o/nL)

197
There's a fat man who thinks
        All man's breath is but poison
And he's riding a jet to Copenhagen
When he gets there he knows, if the world is all froze
        With a word he can say it's really warming
Ooh, ooh, he's riding a jet to Copenhagen

Posted by: Green Zepplin at December 07, 2009 04:03 PM (Oxen1)

198 I was at a party and this fella said to me
"Something bad is happening, I'm sure you do agree
People care for nothing, no respect for human rights
Evil times are coming, we are in for darker nights"
I said, "Who are you to talk about impending doom?"
He got kinda wary as he looked around the room
He said, "I'm a minister, a big shot in the state"
I said, "I just can't believe it, boy I think it's great
Brother can you tell me what is right and what is wrong?"
He said, "Keep on rocking baby, 'til the night is gone"

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 04:05 PM (mGSN1)

199
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town And Is Gonna Rape You is on!!!

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 07, 2009 04:05 PM (00r+V)

200 There was a fat fellow named Gore Who was an environmental whore His scams for green money Would almost be funny If we could shove a white bear up his core

Posted by: TonyRezko at December 07, 2009 04:06 PM (+jw61)

201 "A floating continent disappears"

Michael Moore was swimming with Al but he isn't anymore?

Posted by: chuck at December 07, 2009 04:08 PM (ldQjO)

202 I'm sitting here in my vast, energy-wasting home,
saying to myself, hey, why not write a global-warming poem

Then I'll climb aboard my private carbon-emitting jet and then into a luxury SUV
When I get to Denmark, and then make people pay big bucks to come and see

The one, the true messiah, read my poem to them, and once I've
read it
Hold out my big bag and collect money from those suckas for their carbon credit. 


Posted by: TheresaD at December 07, 2009 04:08 PM (iGCmo)

203 "Eureka!" cried the prof from East Anglia
After downing two bottles of sangria,
"I'll get unlimited grants
And into girls' pants
With this hockey stick graph from my ganglia!"

Posted by: iowahawk at December 07, 2009 04:09 PM (veL4N)

204 Tho' they've mocked you and exposed you, by the Gaia that has hosed you, you're still a better man than I am, ManBearPig!



Posted by: Barack Rudyard Obama at December 07, 2009 04:10 PM (ZtwUX)

205 "Whine On You Crazy Dildo (For Al Gore)"

Remember when you had a soul, your sanity whole?
Whine on you crazy dildo.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like pork rinds on the sly.
Whine on you crazy dildo.
You were caught on the crossfire of crassness and blather,
oozing on with foul sleaze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you shyster, you loon, you moron, and whine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Whine on you crazy dildo.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Whine on you crazy dildo.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
oozing on with foul sleaze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you poseur, you poet, you pissant, and whine!

Posted by: Chainsaw Chimp at December 07, 2009 04:10 PM (j6H6o)

206 This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.
Pull my finger and IÂ’ll blow another.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 04:10 PM (4TWQM)

207

The trees were dead Al Gore wept

He wept not for the trees.

"Acceptable losses in the fight to save the planet" said he

CO2 was gone, He won the battle

And slew the parasitic trees like cattle

He wept for as he gandered yonder

He wept for there were no more worlds to conquer

When to his brain there came a vision

A chance to make another million

The fatal fiend, Tri Carbon Phosphate

Reduce its numbers,  is it too late?

He rode off proud to meet the foe

The golden, deadly C3PO 

 

Posted by: Duhgee at December 07, 2009 04:10 PM (AHyG/)

208 The product of my life bring death to all the earth. I eat,I breathe,I live,I am human filth.

Posted by: steevy at December 07, 2009 04:17 PM (Yed8W)

209
God save algore
Fascist money whore
He made you a moron
Potential nuetron bomb

God save algore
We mean it man
Put him on an ice flow
With a polar bear

Posted by: Sex Cockholsters at December 07, 2009 04:20 PM (Oxen1)

210

Neptune's bones dissolve ...

Dear God, NOOO!

Posted by: Spongebob Squarepants at December 07, 2009 04:21 PM (5M2Wr)

211 Earth (speaking to Al Gore): "Guess what?! I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more carbon!"

Posted by: Duhgee at December 07, 2009 04:25 PM (AHyG/)

212 I awake
I roll my large ass
out of bed
next to my sleeping
drooling
bride
I shuffle to the bathroom
and fart on the way
Dear God
I must atone
for my sin
I know!
I'll buy a
carbon offset.

Posted by: The Goreacle at December 07, 2009 04:28 PM (UOM48)

213 Jeebus, Ace. Your poem......I am not worthy. I hereby cease all of my puny attempts at blogging and turn, bowed, towards the power of your unequaled....bloggedness.

Posted by: DaveyNC at December 07, 2009 04:29 PM (kkJhM)

214

Oh say, can you see

Any sign of a tree

Well I can't but the carbon

comes up to my knee

Oh say, I just squirted the last aerosol cannnnn

full of EEEEE-ZZZZ-CHHHHEEEEEESE

and it fried in my hannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd

Posted by: Duhgee at December 07, 2009 04:36 PM (AHyG/)

215 I love you guys.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 07, 2009 04:37 PM (OkT2m)

216 Lowbrow misanthropes the lot.  I shall sic my Occicats on on you and teach you a lesson you will not soon forget!

Posted by: James Wolcott at December 07, 2009 04:37 PM (yHtPm)

217 Shit.  Anyone remember Clint Eastwood singing "I Talk to the Trees" in the movie I can't fucking remember the title?  Seriously.  It was a Western musical.

I talk to the trees
but they never listen to me
I talk to the sky
but it doesn't hear me
blah, blah, blah.....

Someone help me out.

Posted by: The Goreacle at December 07, 2009 04:39 PM (UOM48)

218

Charile? Are you getting this, Charlie?!!

Oh my God ladies and gentlement this is so fucking rich!

Gore was almost to the landing mast,

and now he's crashing and burning and...

Oh, the Banality!!

 

 

Posted by: sherlock at December 07, 2009 04:40 PM (ktKOD)

219 Paint Your Wagon

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 07, 2009 04:40 PM (Wh0W+)

220 Die, sockpuppet, die.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 04:41 PM (UOM48)

221 219 Paint Your Wagon.Shoot me now for knowing that.

Posted by: steevy at December 07, 2009 04:41 PM (Yed8W)

222 You know nothing of my work. How you got to be the Vice President of anything is totally amazing.

Posted by: The Real Neptune at December 07, 2009 04:41 PM (muhdt)

223 Horsemen ready their stirrups

Horsemen? Like 4? Really? As in the Apocalypse?
So Global Warming will hasten the arrival of the Lord?
Well, I'm a Christian so I guess I'm morally obligated to buy a SUV now.

Posted by: Rocks at December 07, 2009 04:48 PM (ToM4s)

224
the spammer's a critic, now?

Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at December 07, 2009 04:48 PM (00r+V)

225 And if Clint Eastwood was smart he would but up every print and copy of Paint Your Wagon and burn them. Talk about a disaster.

Posted by: Rocks at December 07, 2009 04:50 PM (ToM4s)

226 Paint Your Wagon.  Thank you morons.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 04:51 PM (UOM48)

227 In all fairness the poem did sound better in the original Vulcan.

Posted by: dorkafork at December 07, 2009 04:58 PM (WbRO8)

228 #230  The Goreacle, how did you write this like this without getting that "long strings of text are annoying, use the spacebar or tiny url etc." message?  I've been trying to post my ee cummings rip off poem, and it won't let me post!

You'll have to delete all the empty space between the one line and the next.  If you highlight everything, you'll see what needs deleted.  You'll have to play around with it somewhat to get it working.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 07, 2009 04:59 PM (otlXg)

229 #230 runningrn

I have absolutely no idea.  Seriously.  I'm an idiot.

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 05:01 PM (UOM48)

230 You all are poets and didn't know it  ....whoa

Posted by: Andrew Dice Clay at December 07, 2009 05:05 PM (r7Vc3)

231
Barrack Obama sang with the Village People.
Al Gore is the village idiot.
Mmmmmm. Mmmmmmm. Mmmmmm.

Posted by: New White Panther at December 07, 2009 05:07 PM (T9goa)

232 Al Gore came,
I saw him;
I farted...moo.

Posted by: Cow at December 07, 2009 05:10 PM (DrB2V)

233 Climategate Appears
Liberals Circle Wagons
See, Hear, Know Nothing.

Posted by: Def Leppard at December 07, 2009 05:12 PM (hIOnV)

234 So what happens now that the EPA declared that CO2 is bad? Is that the final deal? Is there any way to fight this ridiculous edict or is the EPA the final say on this stuff?

Posted by: Def Leppard at December 07, 2009 05:15 PM (hIOnV)

235 You know that it would be untrue,
you know that I would be a liar.
If I was to say to you,
Girl the planet couldn't get much hotter.

Come on baby light my planet on fire,
come on baby light my planet on fire,
try to set the planet on...fire.

The time to hesitate is through,
no time to wallow in the science-mire.
Try now we can only lose,
and our planet become a funeral pyre.

Come on baby light my planet on fire,
come on baby light my planet on fire,
try to set the planet on...FIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRE!


Posted by: Al Gore and The Doors at December 07, 2009 05:24 PM (DrB2V)

236

Everyone now knows

That your science is scuttled

Drive your Prius home

Posted by: DrZin at December 07, 2009 05:25 PM (JwSM5)

237 #242  Runningrn

I heart you!

Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 07, 2009 05:34 PM (UOM48)

238 The temperature couldn't get much higher, I think.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 05:34 PM (jlvw3)

239 I hold my Gaia she calls to me. Sometimes I cry. Mostly I weep. In the morning I do my hair. Later I sit. My Jet soars... Soon I am with The People. The dusty dirt at my foot, An angel calls my name. I turn to answer...no, It is my fame. Pardon me Ungawa; I...I must take this...it's, it's Obama. Cloven hoof of endevour Hide your face. Repent. Let all carbon sinners face Thermopoly. I am the Talisman of my own Holding company. Invest. Put my oscar next to the hearth. feel it's warmth. I can. From my mansion the sent of methane tortures me. Tomorrow I will contact carrots. Stay your hand my legions, Do not strike ere the science proves us rash. Fools follow close, Close enough to seal their fate. (sorry I got here so late. Miss you. Chumpo.)

Posted by: Mr. Chumpo at December 07, 2009 05:36 PM (dDysH)

240 DaveyNC, Thanks.... actually, that poem is a lot dirtier than I remembered it. I wouldn't have put it on the front page if I'd remembered how foul it was.

Posted by: ace at December 07, 2009 05:37 PM (jlvw3)

241 Great, another affirmative action first. Jackson is the first African-American to serve as EPA Administrator.

Posted by: anonymous at December 07, 2009 05:37 PM (i0WE5)

242

A Gor-ku:

What the hell is this?
Midnight sun in September?
Brain fart kills Gaia.

 

Posted by: marmo at December 07, 2009 05:48 PM (Tm9Vp)

243

I still want to

launch Algore

from a clown-cannon

Posted by: Huckleberry at December 07, 2009 05:54 PM (F71c5)

244

 I talk to the trees
But they don't listen to me
I talk to the stars
But they never hear me

The breeze hasn't time
To stop and hear what I say
I talk to them all in vain

But suddenly my words
Reach someone else's ear
At someone else's heart strings too

I tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
I suddenly see them come true

I can see us some April night
Looking out across a rollin' farm
Having supper in the candlelight
Walking later, arm in arm

Then I'll tell you how I pass the day
Thinking mainly how the night would be
Then I'll try to find the words to say
All the things you mean to me

I tell you my dreams
And while you're listening to me
I suddenly see them come true

Posted by: Rose at December 07, 2009 06:00 PM (iFYdl)

245 "Neptune's bones dissolve." Seriously????? Trite, cliche, infantile, pedantic, sophmoric I knew he was an idiot.

Posted by: DeWayne at December 07, 2009 06:01 PM (4hQiP)

246 @254 Nice, Rose. I like it.

Posted by: DeWayne at December 07, 2009 06:02 PM (4hQiP)

247 I wrote a climate poem after the 'net, I invented I sucked

Posted by: DeWayne at December 07, 2009 06:03 PM (4hQiP)

248 The Goracle speaks!
Submit to settled science.
He needs a new boat.

Posted by: marmo at December 07, 2009 06:05 PM (Tm9Vp)

249
Certainly Al Gore wouldnÂ’t take advantage of pushing this hoax for monetary gain? Yeah, and IÂ’m going to boycott Mexican food because of its after effects on both myself and my planet. Actually, if the environmentalists get their way, weÂ’ll each be allowed an individual carbon footprintÂ…so I may just have to cut back on my love of Mexican food because IÂ’d hate to use up my entire carbon allowance on Taco Bell.

Last year, GoreÂ’s company loaned a technology firm $75 million to develop energy efficient products. The companies connected with the firm Gore loaned to happen to have just won more than $560 million in federal grants. IÂ’m not against energy efficiency or Gore doing businessÂ…I am against manipulation for profit.

Should we be respectful to our environment and live in a more economically friendly way? Absolutely! Should we throw trillions of trillions of dollars at something we have been lied to about? No way! Now go have a double decker taco supreme at Taco Bell and enjoy it as though it might be your last taco everÂ…and to everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, who thought they were the enlightened one and I was the stupid oneÂ…hereÂ’s a big fat HA! You were dupedÂ…easily duped.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 07, 2009 06:07 PM (Dxfei)

250 Hark!  The come!
broken wings beat in the night
Three vile beasts approach

Soros the Gorgon
Gore the Cyclops
Obama the Sodomite

Pestilence follows
death cackles in glee
satan smiles serenely
his work done for him


(Now that is sophomoric)


Posted by: Lee at December 07, 2009 06:14 PM (TcVyy)

251 That old Ace poem is very good.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 07, 2009 06:43 PM (muUqs)

252 What a fag wife's a hag pmrc try to censor me i kept rockin gore kept talkin snake in the grass break my leg up your ass AGW is a scam has been VP a flim flam man try to run my life engulf nation in strife comin with fists of fury to 2010 in a hurry punch back twice as hard gonna pull that race card EPA up in my grill just a commie shill breathing a crime? Spew it on your own dime

Posted by: Ashen at December 07, 2009 06:50 PM (oZRcR)

253 And what sleek weasel, his hour come round,
Slouches towards Copenhagen to be born?

Posted by: sherlock at December 07, 2009 06:52 PM (ktKOD)

254

Gaia's warming globe

warms al's frigid southern pole

Premature decline

 

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at December 07, 2009 06:57 PM (CMPXK)

255

I think that I shall never spy
A poem lovely as a Gaia.

A globe with shepherds snow and trees
Whose core is millions of degrees;

An earth with rising ocean tide
From models with declines that hide.

Poems are made by men of girth
But only God can heat the earth.

Posted by: Pak at December 07, 2009 07:01 PM (LjPyg)

256

Ok, you forced my hand.  I'll bring out teh sophistication...

Al Gore, Al Gore
He's my leader
He's the one who
Sucks my peter!

Posted by: marmo at December 07, 2009 07:03 PM (Tm9Vp)

257

It's hard to say whether Al Gore is more of a genius at climate science or poetry.  It's pretty much neck and neck from what I can see.  And really, after Gore won an Oscar for a PowerPoint presentation and Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize for, well, nothing, is there anyone in this forum, ANYONE, who dares to bet me a months pay that this poem which wins the praise of Vanity Fair won't also win the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry?

Anyone?  Anyone?

Posted by: Tantor at December 07, 2009 07:06 PM (Ek/Oc)

258

Final score:

Gore 1

Apocalyse 0

Burned you bad chumps! ha ha ha!

Posted by: Duhgee at December 07, 2009 07:09 PM (AHyG/)

259 Some say the world will end in warm;
Some deny.
And since I just want to conform
I say we need climate reform.
So off to Europe I will fly,
I think I know that the earth hurts
And do not ask me questions why,
We're all experts
And would not lie.

Posted by: Pak at December 07, 2009 07:33 PM (LjPyg)

260

Bush rules for eight years
while the temperatures fall
curse you chimphitler!

Posted by: toby928 at December 07, 2009 07:46 PM (PD1tk)

261

Epiphany

The weight, the weight:  to lose the highest prize,

 to that boy of the fraternity;

 due that cracker spilling his paternity.

Depths! Despair! And then the epiphany:

Mother Gaia says “For you a higher call

Only you Al, only you can save them all.”

On Google! Go Laptop!  They betrayed this country!

            Riches, influence, awards; you are a Green force majeure.

            Pity the worldÂ’s been feeding your delusions of grandeur.

 

 Your humble servant,

 

Al Gore

 

Posted by: motionview at December 07, 2009 08:07 PM (KgG1I)

262  Al was glad he had written his poems.
They were of a made up time
Or of something seen that he liked.

Other makings of the sun
Caused waste and swelter
And the ripe shrub writhed.

His self and the sun were one
And his poems, although makings of his self,
Were no less makings of a sun.

It was not important that they survive.
What mattered was that they should prise
Some lineament or character,

Some affluence, if only half-achieved,
From the poverty of third worlds,
Of the planetary con of which they were part.

Posted by: Deety at December 07, 2009 08:21 PM (aVzyR)

263

Can some literary/poetry nerd enlighten me as to why the hell that's even a poem?

There's no rhyme, there seems to be no meter or rythm.

It's just unintelligable nonsensical prose.

Posted by: Entropy at December 07, 2009 08:23 PM (cok/k)

264

I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

Posted by: CRU Thinker at December 07, 2009 08:29 PM (SgSfB)

265

"Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and howlet's wing,--
For a crock of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble."

From The *POOYA Data Cookbook: Global Warming Stew

*Pulled Out Of Your A$$

Posted by: 2nd Witch at December 07, 2009 08:39 PM (SgSfB)

266 273

Can some literary/poetry nerd enlighten me as to why the hell that's even a poem?

There's no rhyme, there seems to be no meter or rythm.

It's just unintelligable nonsensical prose.

Posted by: Entropy at December 08, 2009 12:23 AM (cok/k)

I'm no poetry nerd, but -
Um - free verse?
Possibly. 
But, usually, free verse is better than . . .
That. 
More emotive, evocative.
Solid shit.
Not such a weak and watery squirt of a stool.
Each line building on the last, gathering mass.
Gaining momentum.
Grinding onward to an inevitable
Conclusion.

Posted by: Starboardhelm at December 07, 2009 08:59 PM (SgSfB)

267 "Fever settles on an acid sea" Fever settles on an acid sea The cure: More cowbell.

Posted by: cheshirecat at December 07, 2009 09:03 PM (ZHPG2)

268 Dumpster juice.  If this is not the end we must be very near it.  A Nobel Prize in science and an Oscar?  God help us.

Posted by: Charliemax at December 07, 2009 09:17 PM (deFA4)

269

Caviar Wedges

Only the finest in Copenhagen
The finest minds, the finest scientists
Champions, our saviors will face

A hydra-headed enemy
The consumption of the human race
The singularly wasteful and extravagant pace

Only the finest in Copenhagen
The finest minds, the finest scientists
The finest people, the finest foods

Squid ravioli in lemon grass broth
Goat cheese profiteroles and arugula Caesar salad
Swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade

Rare roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis
With a sorrel timbale and, of course,
Grilled free-range rabbit with herbed french fries

Only the finest in Copenhagen
The finest minds, the finest scientists
The finest hotels, the finest service

Jet armadas and limousine fleets
Egyptian cotton, thousand-count sheets
Raging narcissism, free hookers on the streets

Gore's tools, approval stamped for all
Only the finest in Copenhagen
Wait, I have to finish my cabernet

Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 07, 2009 09:31 PM (i9FLw)

270 OMG! He's literally copied, word for word, my 9th grade English poetic apocalyptic juvenile blathering........PLAGIARISM!

Posted by: spepper at December 08, 2009 03:25 AM (4qWoA)

271

I think it's missing a line, contributed by Dan Rather, years ago:

"WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY, KEN?"

Posted by: spepper at December 08, 2009 03:35 AM (4qWoA)

272 In Xanadu, did KublaGore
a stately pleasure dome decree
Where his mouth, the sphincter kisser ran
down to sunless sea...

bleh.

Posted by: Joy to the whirled at December 08, 2009 04:46 AM (WVBjj)

273 Nobel prize in literature coming right up!!

Posted by: CAD Daddy at December 08, 2009 04:56 AM (T400w)

274

"Doing a solid" sounds far less like doing a favor for a friend and more like taking a dump for them instead.  What it has to do with the actual poem itself is irrelevant.  That turn of phrase just sounds nastier than it actually is.

Then again, I guess the editors at VF were taking a dump all over their supposed aesthetic outlooks by publishing Al's poetry.  Maybe it's appropriate after all.

Posted by: SoupOrMan at December 08, 2009 05:18 AM (J991N)

275

That shitty piece of shit poem makes Lee Lee Sobieskis stylings look good.

This Day And All The Rest
One day.
One.
More than another.
The other,
that day,
those people,
too many,
too personal,
but not.
People you know know,
but you yourself know not.
Crashing down,
all frown,
hurting,
walking,
silently screaming,
slowly running,
often feeling nothing.
Seeing the lucky ones fleeing,
seeing those trapped inside.
Cry.
Cry.
It's OK.
It's not OK.
Smile if it's natural
Feel alive.
The president speaks,
The situation reeks an act of war.
I enter my room, close the door
Sit here.
Here where buildings do not fall to the floor.
we young will experience much more
future, liberty, the freedom to mope about in poetry.
My brother I love you.
Old friends and family too.
Safe for now glad to know I'm alive with all of you.
Feel what is real feel later heal.
One.
One person feeling the same as all the rest.
Please let us act and do what is best.

Posted by: Sen. Rev. Dr. E Buzz at December 08, 2009 07:04 AM (hQm0j)

276 In the unshade of the withered tree The Cheated One lies down and dreams of chads while Gaia burns. In sleepy heat his soul moves to a hotter place and his flesh begins to sizzle, sing a song of bacon. State dinners gather in a pool then move on in a mighty flood. Far away, Michael Moore laps at the river like a dog.

Posted by: Jeffrey Quick at December 08, 2009 07:10 AM (g9neE)

277

May I put a holiday spin on it????

Every Tool
Down in Tool-ville
Liked CO2 a lot...

But the Gore,
Who lived just North of Tool-ville,
Did NOT!

The Gore hated carbon... The whole CO2 season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason. (But the science is settled.)
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight (or worse yet, cowhide...)
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small (probably from the effects of breathing poisoned air).

Every Tool down in Tool-ville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any carbon at all!
He HADN'T stopped warming from coming!
IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same! (And now we are wondering who we can blame??)

Posted by: Texmom at December 08, 2009 07:42 AM (WzN8I)

278 Al Gore is a Vogon.

Posted by: hanzie at December 11, 2009 01:04 AM (1pkmO)

279 The Bloviating Shepherd Of Lies

On the thin edge of insanity
All logic disappears
As forked mouth starts to spew

A verbal stench arises
From air-conditioned palatial Tennessee mansion
Where he and Neptune soak in hottubs

Bullshit stacked like mountains
Hopeless naiveté floods the seasons
Hard facts dissolve quickly

Then science is politicized
Payoffs placed in bank accounts
For Elitist's future celebrations

Stark reality
Takes it's leave
Enforcers ready their whips and chains
Nonsense seeks useful idiots as friends

The hell of audacious empowerment
From a steaming hill of dung has begun
The shepherd of all chicken little cries
The hour to hide the data, trick, or treat, has arrived,

Because ...
There is no controlling legal authority.


markusurealious/windpoet

Posted by: markusurealious at December 16, 2009 06:01 PM (TERdN)

280 Kind of like listening to that ding dong JULIA(BUTTERFLY)HILL babble her new age poppycock bull twaddle while she sent two years sitting in a tree and anyone who would sit in a tree for two years is out of their minds like those dorks at U.C. BERKLELY

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at January 24, 2010 09:41 PM (D8Z2Z)

281 AL GORE THE BLABBERING TWIT,HE HAS ABSOLUTLY NO WIT,ALWAYS BLOWING HOT AIR,WITHOUT MUCH CARE,AND HIS MOUTH NEVER CEASES TO QUIT

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at February 28, 2010 11:24 AM (JtXzZ)

282 AL GORES CERTIANLY NO POET,HE,S DULL AND HE CERTIANLY KNOWS IT,HIS POETY TRIPE,IS NOTHING BUT HYPE,HE,S DUMB AND HE CERTANLY SHOWS IT

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 02, 2010 08:40 AM (PWy3i)

283 From somewhere in tennesee a village is missing its local idiot

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 10, 2010 12:31 PM (/dbzR)

284 Only a liberal pea-brain would swoon over a stupid poem like that one

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 18, 2010 12:42 PM (/dbzR)

285 Only a complete idiot could sit and listen to a poem that stupid and rediculous

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at March 30, 2010 12:49 PM (/dbzR)

286 ALBERT GORE A CRAZY GREEN NUT,WONT WANT TO BE LIVING IN A HUT,HIS SANTIY GOING,AND NOTHING SMART SHOWING,LOWER THAT SNAKE IN A RUT

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at April 01, 2010 12:32 PM (/dbzR)

287 AL GORE WRITES POERTY TRIPE,HIS POEM IS NOTHING BUT HYPE,HE WANTS HIGHER TAXES,WHILE HE LAYS AND RELAXES,AND SMOKING A WACKYWEED PIPE

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at May 27, 2010 12:46 PM (/dbzR)

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Posted by: Die Casting at June 22, 2010 05:42 PM (7IVSA)

290 hm! nice poetry! for Gore...

Posted by: w.a. at August 13, 2010 01:41 AM (8hemo)

291 AL(HOT AIR)GORE and JULIA(BUFFERFLY)HILL would make a perfect couple since their both a crazy as they come and out of their mids as well

Posted by: Spurwing Plover at August 19, 2010 12:53 PM (/dbzR)

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Posted by: mabinogi gold at November 17, 2010 02:54 AM (6VzfZ)

297 AL GORE A BLABBERING  DORK,HE LOOKS TO ME LIKE A ORK,A LIAR A LOUT,WITH TOO MUCH CLOUT,AND HE NEVER ONCE USED A GOOD FORK

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299 And remember he recently wrote a book with the irresponible title ASSUALT ON REASON and gore is a totaly unreasonible man and a blabbering twit

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