Ace of Spades HQ

December 03, 2009

Chinese Media Unlocks Special Easter-Egg Course in Tiger Woods Golf 10
— Ace

Par 3. Watch the fire hydrant on the far side of the green and the angry blonde on the short side.

steve_in_hb writes: "he's lucky it was early in the game and she only had the
melee weapon - imagine if she had gotten the shotgun or rocket launcher."

Not really part of the game, of course. The media craves pictures to go with stories, and while this seems pretty damn silly, I'm betting it will become common for American tabloid media to offer us these sorts of simulations.

Blacksheep sent me his own simulation, entitled "Woods Family Photo."

Thanks to not_steve_in_hb for the video tip.

Joy Behar: Joy Behar announces that Tiger Woods cannot be a hypocrite in any way because he's not a "right wing" kind of guy. And also because... um, he's not publicly against gay marriage. What that has to do with cheating is unclear, but it's very clear to Joy.

"Let me say this about Tiger on his behalf. He has never held himself up as one of these pro-marriage, right-wing kind of guys who is anti-gay."

Never held himself up as pro-marriage? How about when he was at the altar getting married? Was he "pro-marriage" then?

When this is pointed out to her, Joy immediately contrives a difference between "personal hypocrisy" and "societal hypocrisy."

Note to all women: According to no lesser authority than Joy Behar, only right-wing men are capable of meaningfully entering the bonds of marriage. The vows don't count for anyone else.

As they say: You can't spell "genius" without "Joy Behar."

Wait, just got a correction from Merriam Webster: Turns out "Joy Behar" is one of the words it's most easy to spell "genius" without. Only lose the e, and they're as common as beach-sand.

Thanks to... um, I think Radish the Great. Who is HeatherRadish.

Posted by: Ace at 10:30 AM | Comments (35)
Post contains 328 words, total size 3 kb.

1 The fall from the top is brutal.

Posted by: nikkolai at December 03, 2009 10:35 AM (qbOft)

2 Yikes!
Now that's a funny simulation.
Maybe they can turn it into a Saturday morning cartoon for kids.

Posted by: looking closely at December 03, 2009 10:37 AM (PwGfd)

3 Don't care.

Posted by: Truman North at December 03, 2009 10:38 AM (e8YaH)

4 Hey, when a goofy looking guy gets the offer, you think he's gonna pass it up?

Just be glad she didn't have an ashtray.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at December 03, 2009 10:38 AM (MMC8r)

5 Clearly a photoshop. Everybody knows Tiger uses Nike irons.

Posted by: Farmer Joe at December 03, 2009 10:43 AM (z4es9)

6 Apparently, that did leave a mark!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 03, 2009 10:44 AM (Vu6sl)

7 He's obviously within earshot of her.

Posted by: Old Sailor at December 03, 2009 10:46 AM (/Ft4q)

8 "Let me say this about Tiger on his behalf. He has never held himself up as one of these pro-marriage, right-wing kind of guys who is anti-gay."

Posted by: Joy Behar at December 03, 2009 10:47 AM (NtiET)

9 If you are stupid enought to bang Vegas waitress, then you deserve what you get. I love golf and enjoy watching Tiger on the course but, dude.

Posted by: KelliD at December 03, 2009 10:48 AM (Q9Cny)

Mike Baker had a great joke on Red Eye about his choice of lady companions. He wondered why he didn't pick any of the ladies from the LPGA.

Hmmm....thinking....thinking....lemme get back you on that one, Mike.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 03, 2009 10:50 AM (pLTLS)

11 Well, I think this entire sordid episode does just go to prove that Tiger actually has a penis.

Posted by: looking closely at December 03, 2009 10:52 AM (PwGfd)

Can't get the woods family photo to show up, I am assuming it is the picture of Tiger beat to hell and the scandi holding a golf club.

I've only gotten 20 emails so far with the picture. The Internet is pretty brutal!

Posted by: Kemp at December 03, 2009 10:52 AM (2+9Yx)

Tiger now to be called "Cheetah", Nike PR release.

Not

Posted by: Kemp at December 03, 2009 10:53 AM (2+9Yx)

11 wondered why he didn't pick any of the ladies from the LPGA.

Meredith Baxter's picks.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 03, 2009 10:54 AM (cniXs)

I believe this is from Thai media. They love tiger because he's ... well mostly Thai.

until his blackness can be taken advantage of, then he's black to us.

Tigers got one hell of a 'get out of jail free' ticket if he went down the 'she did it cause i'm blickity black, sucka"

Posted by: Billy Barty at December 03, 2009 10:58 AM (IMSJ7)

Not all LPGA golfers look like Nancy Lopez.

http://tinyurl.com/5u9e5b

Posted by: KelliD at December 03, 2009 10:59 AM (Q9Cny)

17 What? I'm not that hard on the eyes am I?

Posted by: Natalie Gulbis at December 03, 2009 11:01 AM (RMg6E)

18 Let me say this about Tiger. He's never held himself up as one of those little, green men from Mars kind of guys who is anti-Earth.
So, he's got that going for him.

Posted by: Rocks at December 03, 2009 11:03 AM (Q1lie)

19 Kemp, Yes, that's the picture.

Posted by: ace at December 03, 2009 11:05 AM (jlvw3)

20 I love the View. It's like eavesdropping on the retard table in the cafeteria.

Posted by: negentropy at December 03, 2009 11:06 AM (27KAF)

21 Yes, Jan Stephenson did have one fine rack.

Posted by: Rocks at December 03, 2009 11:06 AM (Q1lie)

22 Damn, that Natalie Gulbis pic is amazing.

Posted by: Bust of Churchill at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (8/DeP)

21. It's like eavesdropping on the retard table in the cafeteria.

Come on, we are WAAAAAY sharper than those biotches.

Posted by: Corky at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (cniXs)

24 What do you expect from someone who thought Black friday was racist? God, she's a useless twit.

Posted by: Jewells at December 03, 2009 11:16 AM (l/N7H)

25 Is it just me? I didn't get any of those jokes.

Posted by: TimothyJ at December 03, 2009 11:17 AM (IKKIf)

26 I guess it proves the old maxim. No matter how hot a woman is, somewhere there's a guy who is sick of her shit.

Posted by: Jarrod at December 03, 2009 11:39 AM (ZgOms)

27 Every time I hear the name 'Behar,' I hear it as 'Beeee-haaaaaarrrrrr,' as if it's being brayed by a jackass.

Kind of apropos, no?

Posted by: nickless at December 03, 2009 11:42 AM (MMC8r)

28 Joy I hope you thank god everyday that being stupid isn't painful. Hammer + what's left of joys rotting brain some assembly required.

Posted by: evil libertarian at December 03, 2009 11:43 AM (4Ph2F)

29
If you played 18 holes a day and had the strength to play more holes at night you would understand that tiger is in pain. Heh.

Posted by: sickinmass at December 03, 2009 11:52 AM (g7J39)

Never held himself up as pro-marriage? How about when he was at the altar getting married? Was he "pro-marriage" then?

Awesome. Thanks for that.

Posted by: FireHorse at December 03, 2009 12:11 PM (Vl5GH)

31 Someday, I do hope Joy Behar gets attacked by one of the criminals she fawns over.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 03, 2009 12:12 PM (ujg0T)

32 Thick as a plank.

Posted by: Jamfish at December 03, 2009 12:49 PM (hj/po)

33 I'm getting tired of hearing about Tiger's wood.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 03, 2009 01:38 PM (tDm8K)

34 The producers of The View are just happy when Joy shows up on the set sober, so lets not set the bar too high for her.

Posted by: Techie at December 03, 2009 02:24 PM (cxW4X)

35 Elisabeth Hasselbeck looks good. Haven't seen any of The View in awhile. I see Joy is still locked in a mental fight to the death with an Amoeba.

Posted by: Vince at December 03, 2009 02:25 PM (GpQZ/)

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