December 02, 2009
— Ace Since I was a kid, I read that killer whales somehow killed sharks by stunning them or something. Never got the details straight. I thought it was some kind of headbutt to the gut or something.
In fact, it turns out they raise their tails to the surface near a shark, which creates a vortex that whisks the shark up to the surface, where I guess it can't breathe or something. Then they pull their tails up clear out of the water and "chop" them, smashing down.
Okay, kind of cool. But the thing is, this wasn't the way I envisioned it as a kid. Because, okay, maybe this is a cool tactic, and maybe it means they're using their brains or something, but the killer whales seem to have another impressive advantage over their shark-victims:
They're about 3-5 times larger than the sharks they're hunting.
You know what other tactics work when you have that kind of size advantage? All other tactics. Including plainly stupid ones.
Hey, try brute force, too, guys. No real need to get all finesse-y when you're bullying a poor little shark you've got a good three bills on.
Remember when Mike Tyson beat the hell out of me last year? You know how did that? He out-thought me. He came ready with a plan and I didn't.
Also, he hit me once and it turned my brain into gray applesauce.
But that, and out-thinking me.
Ah, one more lie of youth dies. One more jewel of innocence cracked and shattered. What's left?
Thanks to rdbrewer.
Oh: I'm informed what the orcas do is flip the sharks over on their backs with that vortex-move, which somehow discombobulates their brains and puts them into a daze, and I'm also informed that male commenters are so over Meredith Baxter and now all over Dr. Ingrid Visser.
Posted by: Ace at
04:45 PM
| Comments (142)
Post contains 327 words, total size 2 kb.
Posted by: moi at December 02, 2009 04:49 PM (rcmoR)
She can sure study my Orca behavior anytime.
Posted by: Samuel Adams at December 02, 2009 04:55 PM (nxUYP)
Remember when Mike Tyson beat the hell out of me last year? You know how did that? He out-thought me.
Ha!
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 04:56 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 04:56 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: Nixon at December 02, 2009 04:57 PM (Dbd2Q)
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 04:57 PM (A46hP)
Posted by: Phat Bastard Orca at December 02, 2009 04:58 PM (nxUYP)
Posted by: Waterhouse at December 02, 2009 04:58 PM (m2oRF)
There's always global warming.
Posted by: FUBAR at December 02, 2009 04:58 PM (ZvKgM)
Posted by: moi at December 02, 2009 04:58 PM (rcmoR)
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 04:59 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: Indian Outlaw at December 02, 2009 04:59 PM (8zsWd)
Posted by: keninnorcal at December 02, 2009 05:01 PM (SDc54)
Posted by: Indian Outlaw at December 02, 2009 05:01 PM (8zsWd)
Posted by: Samuel Adams at December 02, 2009 05:03 PM (nxUYP)
Posted by: Nixon at December 02, 2009 08:57 PM (Dbd2Q)
I think you're right.
Posted by: Captain Hate at December 02, 2009 05:03 PM (2Uu3I)
Posted by: GrumpyUnk at December 02, 2009 05:03 PM (vk51m)
Remeber when ORCA launched her dead cub on the deck of the boat and scared the shit out of RICHARD HARRIS?
cub?
pup?
calf?
whatever
Posted by: namewing plover at December 02, 2009 05:05 PM (b5sJf)
Dr Ingrid Visser is a fine scientist.
Posted by: Meredith Baxter at December 02, 2009 05:05 PM (8zsWd)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 02, 2009 05:06 PM (vKdhq)
Oh to be trapped inside her rubber diving suit.
Posted by: Samuel Adams at December 02, 2009 05:08 PM (nxUYP)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 02, 2009 05:10 PM (QECjC)
Next time you bring your little snot-nosed brats to "ooooh and ahhhh" at me at Sea World, remember this story, bitches.
Posted by: Shamu at December 02, 2009 05:11 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: rawmuse at December 02, 2009 05:11 PM (0/3Ln)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at December 02, 2009 05:12 PM (17tAS)
Posted by: Samuel Adams at December 02, 2009 05:14 PM (nxUYP)
Posted by: Hiro Hito at December 02, 2009 05:15 PM (vKdhq)
What the orca (orci?) do is put the sharks on their backs which causes the sharks brains to be flooded with a chemical which puts the sharks to sleep and they suffocate.
I saw it on Science Channel so I know it's true.
Posted by: CozMark at December 02, 2009 05:15 PM (iPdde)
Posted by: silverfox at December 02, 2009 05:16 PM (Bh0Df)
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 02, 2009 05:17 PM (dQdrY)
Dr Ingrid Visser...
I'd hit it.
Werd. Oh, and the orcas are turning them over, too. It's not all about size.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 02, 2009 05:17 PM (bOV32)
You misremembered because that was FLIPPER that head-butted sharks. Dolphins, Ace. Let's hope you misremember that special night with Uncle Roy, too. That was Kielbasa, right?
LACES OUT!
Posted by: Velociman at December 02, 2009 05:18 PM (lKU7F)
Saw the same video. IIRC, they were theorizing the possibility that one orca figured out how to do it and then taught everybody in its pack how to do it.
That's pretty damn smart.
Posted by: RayJ at December 02, 2009 05:19 PM (YcjCJ)
And if they're going to get finessy, why Karate? Kung Fu might be cool. Or fencing.
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 05:19 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at December 02, 2009 09:12 PM (17tAS)
Hint: the old Zeeland is part of the Netherlands.
Posted by: stuiec at December 02, 2009 05:19 PM (Ate22)
Other methods observed by scientists of whales attacking sharks include 'corralling', where groups of orcas circle a lone shark and ram it at the least dangerous opportunity, or stealthily approaching the shark from directly below and catching it off guard in a violent sneak attack at its underbelly
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 02, 2009 05:20 PM (DIYmd)
Posted by: Horny Hobbit at December 02, 2009 05:20 PM (QECjC)
Right. Your mention of "pods" brought it all back to me. And they demonstrated that whacky dead-shark smell repellant, though they never said if it was proved effective in real testing. It did seem to make those reef sharks take off.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 05:20 PM (A46hP)
Posted by: 801 at December 02, 2009 05:21 PM (Aq1Xa)
Posted by: Giant Bob at December 02, 2009 05:21 PM (Piaza)
Posted by: RayJ at December 02, 2009 09:19 PM (YcjCJ)
Yep, the orca seem like good learners, but I am still far more impressed with the genius of dung beetles - they invented the wheel, essentially. I don't know why people are always making fun of dung beetles on the internet. They are some genius insects.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 05:24 PM (A46hP)
Posted by: moi at December 02, 2009 05:24 PM (rcmoR)
http://bit.ly/7ojZ2S
Posted by: stuiec at December 02, 2009 05:24 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 02, 2009 05:25 PM (RZ8pf)
Posted by: ace at December 02, 2009 05:26 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: The Maginot Line at December 02, 2009 05:28 PM (4iIhs)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 02, 2009 05:34 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: Flavius Julius at December 02, 2009 05:35 PM (kKP5O)
Ah, those good old Dysfunctional Family Circus days. I remember them well.
Posted by: Original Roy at December 02, 2009 05:35 PM (17Zlu)
Posted by: RicardoVerde at December 02, 2009 05:35 PM (PBTsv)
Posted by: silverfox at December 02, 2009 05:38 PM (i1QrE)
Posted by: Dolphin at December 02, 2009 05:39 PM (QECjC)
There was this leftie website I used to be on before I saw the light and renounced my previously liberal ways that had this guy that would post every once in a while in the comments long screeds about his experiences having sex with dolphins.
It was very descriptive and graphic quite disturbing. However, from his posts I gleened that dolphins are kind of slutty when you get right down to it.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 02, 2009 05:40 PM (RZ8pf)
I don't know why people are always making fun of dung beetles on the internet. They are some genius insects.
Because they wallow in shit.
Posted by: buzzion at December 02, 2009 05:41 PM (opdYb)
Posted by: The Sound of Hundreds of Hairy PETA Armpits at December 02, 2009 05:41 PM (4iIhs)
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 02, 2009 05:41 PM (RZ8pf)
hunter for "killing Bambi's father" and asking who would raise the baby now. I pointed out to her that buck deer do not participate in the rearing of their offspring. They have sex and then leave (kinda like the Detroit system, or southern trailer parks). The light went on in her brain and she said "So, they're like deadbeat dads?" Now she believes they should be killed.
They really can be stupid can't they. Liberals, not women.
Posted by: buzzion at December 02, 2009 05:44 PM (opdYb)
This dude beat the hell dogshit out of a shark when it attacked his beloved Rat Terrier. Saved the dog too.
Cool dude.
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 05:45 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 02, 2009 05:46 PM (QECjC)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 02, 2009 05:46 PM (vKdhq)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 02, 2009 05:50 PM (vKdhq)
Posted by: Pete Townsend at December 02, 2009 05:50 PM (4iIhs)
dolphins are whores...plus when they are in some 3rd world country and you feed them fast food and beat them they get a little aggressive.
Posted by: evil libertarian at December 02, 2009 05:52 PM (dmNcQ)
They could churn up 3 miles of ocean within 30 minutes.
Fantastic power , great dolphins.
Posted by: NortonPete at December 02, 2009 05:55 PM (fVuwW)
Why chomp down with giant teeth when you can butterfly kick, followed by a crane kick, a corkscrew, and a double outside twisting coffee grinder? Where's the fun in that?
Posted by: Orkie at December 02, 2009 05:59 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: Orca Tang at December 02, 2009 06:01 PM (PD1tk)
The love that dare not squeek its name.
Posted by: Orca Tang at December 02, 2009 06:04 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: buzzion at December 02, 2009 09:41 PM (opdYb)
That's not fair. They shape it into little spheres and roll it all home. Sheer genius. You've got to respect that.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 06:07 PM (A46hP)
Posted by: Orca Tang at December 02, 2009 10:04 PM (PD1tk)
fify
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 02, 2009 06:08 PM (dQdrY)
It was just the finger of friendship.
Posted by: West Side Delphinidae at December 02, 2009 06:08 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: Bonesaw at December 02, 2009 06:11 PM (QT6tW)
Well, but that was a picture of a Mako shark. They hunt Great Whites, too.
Plus even the little sharks are dangerously bitey. Bactine is very scarce in the ocean and hard to apply with flippers.
Posted by: lauraw at December 02, 2009 06:15 PM (DbybK)
Posted by: buzzion at December 02, 2009 09:41 PM (opdYb)
That's not fair. They shape it into little spheres and roll it all home. Sheer genius. You've got to respect that.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 10:07 PM (A46hP)
I know, I just thought my answer to your question was humorous.
Posted by: buzzion at December 02, 2009 06:23 PM (opdYb)
Don't be disheartened. I watched a special about 3-4 days ago about the first ever recording of a killer whale killing a massive great white shark. They did, indeed, ram the hell out of it and after stunning it, flipped it over and held it until is suffocated.
Then...
They hauled the carcass over to the boat that was taping the incident and dropped it off and left. (sheesh!)
The bizarro thing is that the killing was in some way transmitted throughout the shark population and they all fled what had been a prime feeding spot for them for many years. The researchers thought that it might have been a coincidence until several years later when the sharks returned and the orcas nailed another one and, once again, the sharks fled like the cowards we all know them to be.
The outcome of the research was the determination that both orcas and sharks are much more intelligent than was previously thought.
Posted by: jmflynny at December 02, 2009 06:26 PM (dwJTY)
They hauled the carcass over to the boat that was taping the incident and dropped it off and left.
"Nice boat. Shame to see anything happen to it. Oh, and. Piss off."
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 06:32 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: TheGarbone at December 02, 2009 06:36 PM (DpCj+)
Aye' - that Dr. Ingrid, she be a salty wench.
#30 "Not only will she endeavour to get you up close and personal with a wide range of marine mammals, but she will introduce you to other researchers working on marine mammals"
Sound like a "marine madame" doesn't she?
Posted by: avast at December 02, 2009 06:36 PM (z8Zcw)
The one grainy film I saw a few years ago showed a female killer whale ripping a giant great white shark to pieces. All by herself. She was angry. She had a little 'un nearby.
I bet male Orcas know not to miss anniversaries.
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 06:37 PM (RBdAa)
Sorry. My densitude.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 02, 2009 06:49 PM (A46hP)
Posted by: arhooley at December 02, 2009 06:50 PM (GKXA7)
Posted by: toby928 at December 02, 2009 06:51 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: arhooley at December 02, 2009 10:50 PM (GKXA7)
First, the orcas came for the sharks, and I did not speak up, for I was not a shark.
Then the orcas came for the sunbathing seals, and I did not speak up, for I was not a sunbathing seal....
Posted by: stuiec at December 02, 2009 06:53 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: stuiec at December 02, 2009 06:55 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: toby928 at December 02, 2009 07:01 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: stuiec at December 02, 2009 10:55 PM (Ate22)
Um, would that apply to penguins, too? Insideous little devils, those penguins.
Posted by: Reality Check Here at December 02, 2009 07:08 PM (Cta0m)
I hear Miss Piggy can kill sharks the exact same way.
I giggled like a kid at that one.
I love reading shit like this. National Geographic had a special on how lions and tigers have evolved into apex predators. Lions have learned how to ambush prey by one lion chasing the target into the other one. Tigers that live in the wetlands in southern India have actually learned to swim and usually kill a fisherman once a year. Swimming tigers. How's that for nature being really frightening?
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 02, 2009 07:09 PM (O4miG)
Penguin wax on. Penguin wax off.
Posted by: Mr. Orca Miyagi at December 02, 2009 07:28 PM (2qU2d)
Lighten up, dude, it's not as if it's rape-rape.
Posted by: Whoopi Dolphin at December 02, 2009 07:33 PM (m2oRF)
Posted by: jmflynny at December 02, 2009 07:33 PM (dwJTY)
...that mo-fo did that on porpoise...
Posted by: dying shark at December 02, 2009 07:39 PM (2qU2d)
They hauled the carcass over to the boat that was taping the incident and dropped it off and left.
That fucker sleeps with the land fags, now.
Posted by: orca gotti at December 02, 2009 07:45 PM (2qU2d)
Posted by: orca gotti at December 02, 2009 07:45 PM (2qU2d)
Great! Now I'll never get that smell out of the marine biologist researchers!
Posted by: Allah (pbuh) at December 02, 2009 07:49 PM (2qU2d)
Posted by: The Great Wise Shark at December 02, 2009 08:11 PM (RBdAa)
Posted by: the cruisin' dolphin at December 02, 2009 08:19 PM (2qU2d)
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 02, 2009 08:31 PM (RBdAa)
this is some old-school funny, gents.
One of the best:
115 Orcas: the Waffen SS of the Sea. That's why they rock those flashy black and white uniforms.
Posted by: stuiec
Brewer, you've been bringing it too
Thanks all. Needed the laugh.
Posted by: hobgoblin at December 02, 2009 11:27 PM (uEGS8)
Posted by: Jim Webb at December 03, 2009 01:11 AM (ZiQz8)
I'm proud to be an Orca from Majorca...
Posted by: Merle "Lame Joke" Haggard at December 03, 2009 01:53 AM (RBdAa)
I saw a news piece about orcas that showed them going after great whites. They even showed people standing right next to a great white that had been flipped over. The orcas cleared the area of great whites even though there was a huge flock of birds sitting on the water waiting to be shark lunch.
Posted by: Steve L. at December 03, 2009 03:43 AM (Gkhxf)
Posted by: slade at December 03, 2009 07:21 AM (XsHAM)
If an animal is hunting and killing "what many think of as the ocean's top predators," then wouldn't the hunter, also a denizen of the ocean, actually be the ocean's top predator?
Posted by: Jazz at December 03, 2009 07:51 AM (hnq5i)
Posted by: JEA at December 03, 2009 07:52 AM (ZO0u/)
Posted by: Call Me Ishmael at December 03, 2009 07:53 AM (/VEEI)
Posted by: bullwhacker at December 03, 2009 07:53 AM (aMpG9)
Posted by: JEA at December 03, 2009 07:54 AM (ZO0u/)
Re: 146: Hey, Orcas got big freakin' teef' too! In fact, they're bigga' than the GW snark's. They're not raza' sharp, but they are made for meat eatin'...babayyyyy!
Posted by: slade at December 03, 2009 08:02 AM (XsHAM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3xmqbNsRSk
They're damn smart, those killer whales.
Posted by: Mike Z. at December 03, 2009 08:45 AM (BBlLR)
Posted by: local at December 03, 2009 08:59 AM (+G2Lz)
Reminds me of the story about the research center that rehabilitated a seal in the Puget Sound. To much fanfare, they let the little guy loose to return to his home. Amid all the celebration, Mr. Orca decided he needed a snack. Lots of long, sad faces that day.
I think the orcas true name was Kafka.
Posted by: U.S.S. Yorktown at December 03, 2009 10:03 AM (5RlWq)
I remember there seemed to be some weird, PC-ish-type movement to call them "Orcas." Prior to that, we always called them "killer whales." As kids, we spoke with certainty that the killer whale was the most dangerous fish in the ocean, even though it was much smaller than the blue whale. The Orca movement seemed to indicate they were intelligent, that they worked together, and that they were not killers. (Intelligent = civilized, I guess.)
Wrong.
So there's one truth of youth revived, I guess.
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 03, 2009 11:07 AM (RBdAa)
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Posted by: Pasty White Vegan at December 02, 2009 04:47 PM (MMC8r)