December 10, 2009
— Ace Via Andy Levy's Twitter, some raves for the movie about the blue muppet creatures.
The movie is, obviously, an agent-gone-native-and-adopting-their-culture-and-fighting-against-his-onetime-allies story. The Last SIMurai or Dances With Smurfs.
That's a good story and all, and can be interesting and everything.
But I do have a joking question. This is snarky crap. I don't really intend this as serious nitpickery.
But... have the people who sent this guy on this mission ever seen The Last Samurai or Dances With Wolves? Because in the trailer, his superior officers are shocked he's gone native and joined the Indians.
Well, here's the thing: On earth, as a human, he was crippled. You gave him a new, blue alien body in which he regained the power to walk. And not just walk, but virtually fly.
You trained him to think just like those aliens.
So now here he is on an alien planet, with a fully functioning body, albeit a blue one, and now he can only mate with other blue-bodied creatures.
Creatures you are trying to eradicate, so you can build some kind of transplanetary strip-mall or something.
Excuse me, guys? What did you think he was going to do? People have switched teams for far less.
Posted by: Ace at
04:11 PM
| Comments (214)
Post contains 227 words, total size 1 kb.
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Things, Stuff, and Other Things at December 10, 2009 04:13 PM (erIg9)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2009 04:16 PM (l1Wlr)
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Things, Stuff, and Other Things at December 10, 2009 04:17 PM (erIg9)
Posted by: ace at December 10, 2009 04:19 PM (jlvw3)
And to further ask, what happens to the agent-cum-native once all the other natives have been eradicated? Or is that a plot spoiler?
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 10, 2009 04:20 PM (GF+6V)
Posted by: ace at December 10, 2009 04:20 PM (jlvw3)
Excuse me, guys? What did you think he was going to do? People have switched teams for far less. Posted by: Ace
Hey, would you can the critique? We're trying to piss on the military here and you're not helping.Posted by: Hollywood Inc. (soon to be Bollywood Inc.) at December 10, 2009 04:20 PM (u1pln)
Posted by: AmishDude at December 10, 2009 04:21 PM (Ss279)
Posted by: ace at December 10, 2009 04:22 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: Jake Sully at December 10, 2009 04:23 PM (PWj+8)
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 10, 2009 04:24 PM (GF+6V)
Senate passes $447 billion discretionary spending bill with 4000 bits of pork and not a word from the Dextrosphere.
What up with that?!
Posted by: Hollywood Inc. (soon to be Bollywood Inc.) at December 10, 2009 04:24 PM (u1pln)
As with most Cameron productions, humans suck and ruin everything they touch. (Titanic substituted class warfare for species conflict.) Nobody in the future has ever seen an old episode of Star Trek that had the Prime Directive as a plot device. Nor Little Big Man, Dances With Wolves, Ferngully, etc. No matter how many zillion movies and TV show lecture us about being nice to primitive cultures, nobody remembers.
This all seems to happen in a special universe where no SF novel about first contact situations has survived.
From the synopsis, this is also a future in which we can manufacture a hybrid human/alien body a nd transfer a man's mind to that body but we cannot repair that man's crippling injury. Why not make a copy of his human body and move him into that?
This is the kind of movie that has me shouting at the screen, quoting The Thing, "Yeah? Well, f*ck you, too!"
Posted by: epobirs at December 10, 2009 04:24 PM (pC8Yr)
Posted by: logprof at December 10, 2009 04:24 PM (I3Udb)
Anyone remember Robert Duvall on the original The Outer Limits in his role as the ultimate spy? He had the skill to adopt any kind of cover identity and be absolutely convincing. So when an alien spacecraft lands on Earth, his spy bosses offer him the assignment of infiltrating their ship: he gets surgically altered and he's given a cover story that he was on an earlier scout ship that crashed, so long ago that he's forgotten his home language.
But after he makes it in, his handlers outside wonder if he might go native and go rogue. Which he does. And the critical question is: can his handlers rely on him to tell the truth about whether the aliens have peaceful intentions, or should they blow them (and him) up preemptively?
Posted by: stuiec at December 10, 2009 04:25 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: AmishDude at December 10, 2009 04:25 PM (Ss279)
Ewoks: The Battle for Endor meets Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Posted by: Mike H at December 10, 2009 04:26 PM (PWj+8)
what's with the obama SIM analogy? simian? that kind of shit is uncalled for- you should ban yourself.
Posted by: Arsetronaut at December 10, 2009 04:28 PM (UVsO7)
Posted by: ace at December 10, 2009 04:28 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: Newsweek at December 10, 2009 04:29 PM (QECjC)
Posted by: logprof at December 10, 2009 04:30 PM (I3Udb)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 10, 2009 04:30 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 04:31 PM (QECjC)
Have the people who sent this guy on this mission ever seen The Last Samurai or Dances With Wolves? Because in the trailer, his superior officers are shocked he's gone native and joined the Indians.
Yes ace, but you see, as the greatest director in the whole entire history of the world and the known universe, every time I do it, it is of the new and has never been done before.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have about 7 academy awards and at least one Nobel peace prize to make room for on the mantel.
I bid you adieu.
Posted by: James Cameron at December 10, 2009 04:31 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2009 04:32 PM (jVTPw)
Ewoks: The Battle for Endor meets Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
Posted by: Mike H at December 10, 2009 08:26 PM (PWj+
Aliens meets Ferngully: The Last Rainforest
Posted by: stuiec at December 10, 2009 04:32 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 10, 2009 04:33 PM (yckbe)
The Avatar tie-in comes at the very end.
Posted by: epobirs at December 10, 2009 04:33 PM (pC8Yr)
Posted by: Chris at December 10, 2009 04:34 PM (tVjdx)
Posted by: Crank at December 10, 2009 04:34 PM (8Q1Q6)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 04:36 PM (QECjC)
Blue aliens chicks only put out if you act like a blue alien... which is the premise of this movie isn't it?
Red alien chicks aren't as picky.
Kinda like when you had to act like a liberal in college to get laid.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 10, 2009 04:36 PM (GF+6V)
James Cameron has never forgiven himself for portraying the aliens in Aliens as bloodthirsty, parasitic killing machines.
So he's been on a mission to atone for it by portraying every other alien species as sweet and beneficent.
Posted by: stuiec at December 10, 2009 04:37 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: Intrepid at December 10, 2009 04:38 PM (92zkk)
Red alien chicks aren't as picky.
Kinda like when you had to act like a liberal in college to get laid.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 10, 2009 08:36 PM (GF+6V)
I think Capt. Kirk did fine with blue alien chicks. I know for sure that Capt. Pike scored with the green alien chicks.
Posted by: stuiec at December 10, 2009 04:39 PM (Ate22)
I say we get the heck out of these woods and nuke Gargamel and Azrael from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.
Posted by: Lt. Ripley Smurf at December 10, 2009 04:39 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: steevy at December 10, 2009 04:40 PM (jVTPw)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 04:40 PM (QECjC)
Posted by: Tiger Woods at December 10, 2009 04:42 PM (Ate22)
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2009 04:42 PM (u2a4a)
But... have the people who sent this guy on this mission ever seen The Last Samurai or Dances With Wolves?
Booger shooter. (My new expression for the fact I laughed volcanically and... shot boogers.)
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 10, 2009 04:43 PM (Kw4cI)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 04:43 PM (QECjC)
Posted by: Percopius at December 10, 2009 04:46 PM (V0nbk)
People have switched teams for far less.
Heh. No way he's switch sides for... everything he could have ever wanted. Ever. I haven't seen much about it, but I assume they also gave him the gun with which to shoot themselves? Prolly handed it to him butt first, loaded, cocked, and with the safety off... with the admonition: "Now don't shoot us with that gun or anything, okay?"
Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 10, 2009 04:48 PM (Kw4cI)
Native Americans went absolutely gaga for glass beads and woven cloth. Especially the Southern types for whom animal skins were too hot in the summertime. Much of what Native Americans from the southern parts call their native costume consists of the clothing they learned to make after they traded for cloth from the white people (ribbon shirts, broom skirts, huiples, Pueblo dresses, Cherokee tear dresses, Choctaw dresses, etc). Animal skins got kicked to the curb the moment they saw their first cool cotton cloth. One of those things that made the Five Civilized Tribes so civilized was their addiction to cotton cloth.
But nowadays, it would be considered interference with their unique culture to introduce a primitive people to trade goods. Gee, it's so much better to fight and kill people than to chance ruining their pristine way of life by awful capitalism.
Posted by: Sekhmet at December 10, 2009 04:48 PM (t7fcE)
And this from the man who gave us not only Terminator and Aliens...
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 04:49 PM (otlXg)
Pretty much. I would switch sides for some of that Arcturian poontang.
Posted by: Pvt Hudson at December 10, 2009 04:49 PM (XIXhw)
I never thought about that, but you're totally right.
Wait. Wait the Browns just scored? Quick! Let me enjoy this for the 1:30 seconds the Browns are in the lead!
Posted by: alexthechick at December 10, 2009 04:49 PM (nwTNa)
I just watched an ad on the TV thanking Senator Bennett (D-CO) for supporting heath care reform.
Sick.
Posted by: ethos at December 10, 2009 04:50 PM (0fzsA)
Posted by: vai2112 at December 10, 2009 04:50 PM (pkOAj)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2009 04:50 PM (l1Wlr)
Posted by: Percopius at December 10, 2009 04:50 PM (V0nbk)
http://bit.ly/8ioZhN
Fantastic.
Posted by: Nick J at December 10, 2009 04:51 PM (ffZ2N)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 04:51 PM (cvmTR)
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 04:52 PM (04p0/)
I like the part where he flips out while being Godzilla. That was fantastic.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 10, 2009 04:52 PM (nwTNa)
I thought that gay jokes were verboten now.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2009 08:50 PM (l1Wlr)
I think you're safe on that one ITC. That was clearly a switch hitter joke.
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 04:53 PM (cvmTR)
Lemme guess: eeeevil American/human/military out to waste/harvest/exploit a planet, BAD
Anyone else in the entire universe, GOOD
seen it before somewhere
Posted by: 48%er at December 10, 2009 04:53 PM (QOE7k)
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2009 04:54 PM (XIXhw)
No matter how many zillion movies and TV show lecture us about being nice to primitive cultures, nobody remembers.
True, and can someone besides Mel Gibson read a little history about primitive cultures? Many were indescribably brutal and savage. Several Indian tribes were a lot less concerned with being "noble stewards of nature" and a whole lot more concerned with "killing everything they came across". I'm sure there were primitive cultures that were peaceful and groovy and everything, but there were also plenty that were very much into raping and pillaging.
I'm undecided if I'm seeing this movie, but I do have one question? What the hell happened to Stephen Lang? Is everyone in Hollywood on Human Growth Hormone? God, he's gotta be in his 50s and he looks like he plays strong safety for Nebraska.
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 04:54 PM (O4miG)
Yeah Nick, fantastic. Just wants to make me go see it all the more. Wait, are there scenes where the Smurfs go suicide bomb some humans or set off IEDs near their posts?
And some of these review idiots went off on the Dark Knight because it supposedly contained some support for the War on Terror.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 04:54 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 04:55 PM (QECjC)
I've been rooting for Avatar to fail Cutthroat Island style.
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 04:55 PM (04p0/)
Well, I just made my decision. Fuck Jim Cameron.
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 04:55 PM (O4miG)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 04:56 PM (cvmTR)
Eww. Pam Anderson is, like, 60 now and there's not a single piece of original equipment on her.
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2009 04:57 PM (XIXhw)
Yo, Avatar, I'mma let you finish, but I think we'll leave it to the cables
Posted by: The Homogonization of Memes at December 10, 2009 04:57 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 08:55 PM (QECjC)
I think Natasha Henstridge in Species is better than Pamela Lee.
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 04:58 PM (cvmTR)
"One theory for the box-office success of the Star Wars films in the 1970s and 1980s was that, in their depiction of a plucky guerrilla insurgency against a vastly better equipped superpower, they enabled a generation of Americans to refight the Vietnam war on the side of the underdogs. The same idea holds true for Avatar. The War on Terror references are more complex than simply equating the US with the villains in the film."
Star wars was about the Vietnam war?
The left still think we just bombed Iraq willy-nilly for oil.
Posted by: ethos at December 10, 2009 04:58 PM (0fzsA)
Is it really that difficult to use correct English in spam?
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2009 04:59 PM (XIXhw)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 08:55 PM (QECjC)
________________________
Hmm maybe bring in Alyssa Milano
Posted by: Chris at December 10, 2009 04:59 PM (tVjdx)
If Costner's character had come across the Comanche rather than the Lakota, it would have been a much shorter movie...
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 04:59 PM (04p0/)
Posted by: Nightcrawler of the X-Men at December 10, 2009 04:59 PM (jlvw3)
I like the part where he flips out while being Godzilla. That was fantastic.
Yeah, that too. Basically, the movie would be 2 to 2.5 hours of weird visuals, high caliber firearms, and boinking.
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2009 05:00 PM (u2a4a)
George Lucas just can't stop fucking that Star Wars chicken.
And the sad part is that enough saps and fanboys will go see it to make it profitable for Lucas to go and rape even more nostalgic cinema. And this is after the prequels! BTW I loved the South Park about Lucas and Spielberg raping Indiana Jones.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:00 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: naturalfake at December 10, 2009 05:00 PM (HylJ6)
Posted by: Josh Reiter at December 10, 2009 05:01 PM (AGEX+)
Can Hannity ever learn to dial it down to eleventy??!? Please?
Is he on meth?
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at December 10, 2009 05:01 PM (UOM48)
an Old Man's War movie would be way badass
When blurbs started trickling out about Cameron's opus 3-4 years ago that's what I thought it was gonna be. Oh well. Smurfs.
Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at December 10, 2009 05:01 PM (outBY)
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 05:02 PM (04p0/)
They should've used computer graphics on him. He looks horrible, like he's spent the last decade marinating in a vat of bourbon. He's so successful and famous he has to drink himself to death? Wealth and freedom make him sad and mad? He's an ungrateful jerk. Gimmie all your money, Jim. I won't stop smiling for the rest of my life.
And Avatar looks worse than Cameron. The female alien is smiles constantly, like a sunny, innocent child. It's some sort of pedophile fantasy in not-so-subtle disguise. When she's not smiling she's blubbering and screeching melodramatically: "You are not one of us! I trusted you!" And Sigourney Weaver has hair the color of Fanta.
It's a film for morons, but not the good kind. I mean the real kind, with really low foreheads and that hideous mush-mouthed speaking style you always hear in man-on-the-street interviews.
Posted by: Hypogean at December 10, 2009 05:02 PM (cVJwC)
Posted by: vai2112 at December 10, 2009 05:03 PM (pkOAj)
I find your views intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 05:03 PM (04p0/)
Ask me to turn in my man-card if you must, but after watching some episodes of Charmed, Milano doesn't do anything for me. And she did star in some Skinemax film (I think it was one of the Poison Ivy flicks) where she showed some skin, but after seeing her in Charmed...ick.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:03 PM (otlXg)
tiffany silver/tiffany jewelery"
Surprisingly much better thought process than the 52% who voted for Teh O.
Posted by: Intrepid at December 10, 2009 05:05 PM (92zkk)
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 05:06 PM (O4miG)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:07 PM (cvmTR)
I am offended. Enough to put you under my knife.
Posted by: Magwa at December 10, 2009 05:08 PM (XIXhw)
Ok, maybe not the WHOLE movie. I do seem to recall more boinking than the standard sci-fi books I've read, except maybe John Ringo books. Then again, it was a while ago when I read it.
And may I use that quote at office staff meetings?
Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at December 10, 2009 05:08 PM (u2a4a)
Posted by: Zimriel at December 10, 2009 05:09 PM (04p0/)
Lightspeed tech and Earth has an energy problem...check
Lightspeed tech and crippled dude can't be fixed...check
Lightspeed tech and we need gunships? or even bodies?...check
"Avatar" is the movie
Avatards pay to see it.
Posted by: breeze at December 10, 2009 05:10 PM (C39a6)
Posted by: Iblis at December 10, 2009 05:11 PM (UQCPr)
A backlash against post-modernism or just retarded, you decide.
Posted by: John Galt at December 10, 2009 05:11 PM (Ylv1H)
That's cool I guess and if you trust that review, fine. I prefer Ghost in the Shell and Ninja Scroll for story, but at least Vexille tries to present a new challange resulting from technology that could await us in the future and is at least somewhat original in story. The story was interesting but the main point in my recomendation of Vexille is the visual style. It represents the state of the art of Live Action Anime - a mix between photo realism and japanese manga style, all in CG, with most character animation driven by motion capture, with camera angles and movements limited to moves that could be done in the real world (few impossible camera moves - really effective at make things seem to have weight).
Posted by: Percopius at December 10, 2009 05:12 PM (V0nbk)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 05:13 PM (QECjC)
Posted by: MPFS, Holiday Fish Stick at December 10, 2009 05:14 PM (PBGAP)
Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 10, 2009 05:15 PM (B5cM9)
Posted by: Jim Treacher at December 10, 2009 05:16 PM (GrDz5)
http://24rk.sl.pt
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:16 PM (cvmTR)
Maybe. Portman is starting to show some skin (Closer and some other movie whose name escapes me), but only flashes of skin thus far. Perhaps the moaning would be a good transition from Star-Wars crap actress to B Skinemax movie star!
/A guy can dream, can't he?
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:18 PM (otlXg)
I gave up bong loads long ago
ditto acid and shrooms
going drunk will just make me want to laugh at the wrong times and yell "THIS IS FUCKING STUPID"
going sober will just make me want to grimace all the time and yell "THIS IS FUCKING STUPID"
guess I'll skip it and have fun at home ;p
Posted by: breeze at December 10, 2009 05:19 PM (C39a6)
Posted by: Mbruce at December 10, 2009 05:19 PM (t/GDA)
Posted by: MPFS, Holiday Fish Stick at December 10, 2009 05:20 PM (PBGAP)
I'm looking forward to God of War 3 and maybe Dante's Inferno too. Maybe I should give this a look...
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:20 PM (otlXg)
Good point. The good news is that surgery can be done over the weekend!
Just as long as Portman doesn't turn into Anna Nicole Smith.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:22 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:23 PM (cvmTR)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 05:23 PM (QECjC)
Good point. The good news is that surgery can be done over the weekend!
Just as long as Portman doesn't turn into Anna Nicole Smith.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 09:22 PM (otlXg)
Exactly, not too big but something bigger than what she has now.
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:24 PM (cvmTR)
I really like the AvP movies. Particularly the last one where I was rooting for them to eat all the humans.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 10, 2009 05:24 PM (nwTNa)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 10, 2009 05:25 PM (DIYmd)
"So there's like all these blue kitty-cat people, right? And this guy in a wheelchair turns into one of them!"
"Here is a check for 300 million dollars."
Treacher, you forgot the part of the pitch where it must flatter their coke-fueled moral vanity.
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 05:26 PM (O4miG)
If ,by the end of the flick, there isn't an angry white dude weilding a 4 foot longsword wading through the blue fuktards doing the slice and dice whilst screaming "THIS IS FUCKING STUPID!!!"...I just can't get that interested in it.
Oh, and the longsword is inscribed with name of "Warcock"...
just sayin'
Posted by: breeze at December 10, 2009 05:27 PM (C39a6)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:27 PM (cvmTR)
I really like the AvP movies. Particularly the last one where I was rooting for them to eat all the humans.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 10, 2009 09:24 PM (nwTNa)
Yeah, same here and both times, they still screwed that up too.
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:28 PM (cvmTR)
I'm looking forward to God of War 3 and maybe Dante's Inferno too. Maybe I should give this a look...
I have several friends who are working on GOW3, they are really unhappy for some reason. I never liked GOW personally, just not my thing.
Posted by: Percopius at December 10, 2009 05:29 PM (V0nbk)
It's not surprising that Keira Knightley was Portman's double in those Star Wars prequels.
Beuatiful girls, both of them, but their frontcourts are lacking in talent.
Posted by: The Q at December 10, 2009 05:29 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:31 PM (cvmTR)
Leon.
AKA The Professional..
Good flick..
The only good Portman flic for me...
Posted by: Percopius at December 10, 2009 05:31 PM (V0nbk)
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:33 PM (cvmTR)
I will wait for Peter Jackson's The Hobbit.
Posted by: the real joe at December 10, 2009 05:36 PM (SUYSs)
Posted by: koopy at December 10, 2009 05:38 PM (XllG0)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 10, 2009 05:38 PM (QECjC)
Paul W. S. Anderson is the character responsible for the first AvP movie. Not to mention this is the same guy that messed up the Resident Evil series, with the first one being barely passable and the next two being downright fucking horrible. *wtf - just checked wiki and there's a planned RE 4, Resident Evil: Afterlife? NOOOO!*
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 10, 2009 05:38 PM (otlXg)
Isn't del Toro directing that? Not that he won't be awesome, I love the Hellboy movies. Plus The Strain was a pretty damn good vampire novel.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 10, 2009 05:39 PM (nwTNa)
Posted by: epobirs at December 10, 2009 08:24 PM (pC8Yr)
It's because Bush banned stem cell research. Duh.
Posted by: Herr Blücher at December 10, 2009 05:39 PM (kAcvp)
Eww. Pam Anderson is, like, 60 now and there's not a single piece of original equipment on her.
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 10, 2009 08:57 PM (XIXhw)
That, and she resembles a puppet from Spitting Image.
Posted by: Herr Blücher at December 10, 2009 05:43 PM (kAcvp)
Posted by: MPFS, Holiday Fish Stick at December 10, 2009 05:43 PM (PBGAP)
I have to admit it, I have a new found respect for Deputy Steven Seagal. The man walks the walk.
He walks the walk right to the dessert bar, too. That guy has really porked up.
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 05:47 PM (O4miG)
Awesome, his flicks are great. Not only the Hellboys but also Pan's Labyrinth. Loved them all.
Posted by: the real joe at December 10, 2009 05:48 PM (SUYSs)
Think primitive brain and start with this book.
Posted by: burnt toast at December 10, 2009 05:49 PM (cbuee)
Nothing wrong with the Portman boobies, as far as I can see.
Posted by: the real joe at December 10, 2009 09:45 PM (SUYSs)
Must've put some weight back on. Last time I saw her supporting cast, they were much smaller roles. Those in that pic are just fine.
Posted by: CDR M at December 10, 2009 05:51 PM (cvmTR)
He walks the walk right to the dessert bar, too. That guy has really porked up.
It's probably all that Louisiana fired cooking. Gets you every time. I swear they deep fry anything down there.
Posted by: MPFS, Holiday Fish Stick at December 10, 2009 05:52 PM (PBGAP)
167
Seems to have made a solid upgrade in recent drafts. The frontcourt is now more than acceptable.
Posted by: The Q at December 10, 2009 05:53 PM (pfStM)
A long time ago, in a blog comment far, far away, someone mentioned Megyn's epic chest and still no pics? WTF!
Where that force be at?
Posted by: burnt toast at December 10, 2009 05:54 PM (cbuee)
Posted by: ravenshrike at December 10, 2009 05:55 PM (C63A/)
Was this the Winged Angel you were talking to on the Big Ass Thread last night, ace?
Posted by: kbdabear at December 10, 2009 05:55 PM (sYxEE)
So now here he is on an alien planet, with a fully functioning body, albeit a blue one, and now he can only mate with other blue-bodied creatures.
Creatures you are trying to eradicate, so you can build some kind of transplanetary strip-mall or something.
Excuse me, guys? What did you think he was going to do? People have switched teams for far less.
Please read my latest manifesto; "Why I Left the Human Race to become a Winged Douchebag"
Posted by: Cahrsel Jhonsno at December 10, 2009 05:58 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: Waterhouse at December 10, 2009 06:02 PM (eJeQJ)
I really dug Aliens, so I was one of the first in line when The Abyss came out. I cannot quite encompass how underwhelmed I was at that movie, and while I liked Titanic, it never struck me as the landmark film so many others obviously thought it was. So now we come to Avatar (or "Ferngully: With Extreme Prejudice!"). I'm getting the same vibe off this thing that I got off of The Abyss, and the trailer didn't do anything to sell me.
Oh, and you can ignore those early reviews. They're mostly bought and paid for to increase the "buzz" for this movie. There's a ton of money at stake here, and Fox is going to pull out all the stops to make sure it does huge box-office. I'm going to wait for the opening-weekend madness to pass, and then start reading the "on second thought" reviews. That's when the geek-boner from the CGI and SFX has faded and you start realizing what a shitty movie it was, rather than a really lifelike video game.
There's simply no way for Avatar to live up to the hype that's built up around it anyway. It might be a perfectly fun sci-fi flick to kill an afternoon with, but I really can't see it breaking out the way Titanic did (unless 14-year-old girls go to see it nine times).
Posted by: Monty at December 10, 2009 06:07 PM (ifAMf)
Posted by: Putter at December 10, 2009 06:10 PM (ZDN4B)
Leon.
AKA The Professional..
Good flick..
Seconded, with gusto. Gary Oldman does crazy better than anyone else in the business. "I love these quiet little moments before the storm..."
Posted by: Monty at December 10, 2009 06:13 PM (ifAMf)
Posted by: Ostral B Heretic at December 10, 2009 06:27 PM (XlNsK)
Monty, you should check out the director's cut of The Abyss.
Waaaay better and it actually makes sense.
Posted by: RarestRX at December 10, 2009 06:27 PM (rmNST)
Am I the only one that hears Don LaFontaine or Nick Tate doing that line?
Posted by: Smokey Behr at December 10, 2009 06:36 PM (QyeW7)
True Lies wade when the War on Terror was just and true, i.e. when the Clenis was president. Avatar was written when Chimpy McHalliburtonbushitler was wantonly slaughtering blue kitten-people, I mean Iraqis.
Cameron says that Americans are unaware that "hundreds of thousands" of Iraqis have died in the war, so he felt compelled to make a movie that stands to earn him hundreds of millions of dollars.
He's a man with a mission, you see. Did you see the brilliant line of dialog from this thought-provoking look at American foreign policy?
The hero's "curt summation of the situation: When people are sitting on stuff you want, you make them your enemy."
And we all know that's what the Iraq war was all about. The Iraqis were sitting on their asses, and we wanted their asses, so we made them our enemy.
Posted by: Hypogean at December 10, 2009 06:42 PM (cVJwC)
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at December 10, 2009 06:42 PM (PQY7w)
I have mixed feelings about Del Toro now. Awesome director. Hell, even Blade 2 was pretty damned good. But he signed the Roman Polanski I'm-okay-with-child-rape petition.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 10, 2009 06:42 PM (9Lm5R)
True Lies wade = True Lies was made.
I'm so disgusted with Cameron I'm compressing words into each other.
Posted by: Hypogean at December 10, 2009 06:43 PM (cVJwC)
My pet peeve about Avatar is that it is obviously inspired by Poul Anderson's 1957 novella "Call Me Joe," which concerns a wheelchair-bound man who participates in a superscientific program to project his psyche into an artificially created alien body. He uses the alien body to enjoy a virtual existence on a hostile planet, but gradually goes native and eventually becomes one with the alien body, leaving his human body behind.
It's a famous story and was even selected by the Science Fiction Writers of America for inclusion in their "Hall of Fame" series as one of "the greatest science fiction novellas of all time."
Yet Cameron does not give Anderson any screen credit and apparently did not buy the rights to the novella (which is still under copyright).
In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. It just ticks me off a little.
Incidentally, Poul Anderson also wrote a book called Avatar, so apparently Cameron had Anderson on the brain while he was developing this movie.
Posted by: sauropod at December 10, 2009 06:58 PM (r45p0)
Cameron says that Americans are unaware that "hundreds of thousands" of Iraqis have died in the war, so he felt compelled to make a movie that stands to earn him hundreds of millions of dollars.
Gosh, I didn't know that it was Americans had killed all those Iraqis. Here I was thinking it was Arab terrorists and gangsters and other kill crazy butchers. I'm glad some fuckhead Hollywood director can make a jillion dollar movie with cartoon blue people to tell me different.
Cameron can take this movie and stick it up his Canadian ass.
Posted by: UGAdawg at December 10, 2009 07:01 PM (O4miG)
Posted by: Iblis at December 10, 2009 07:14 PM (UQCPr)
Why wouldn't they just go Matrix and pull the plug on his ass when he went rogue?
Posted by: Rocks at December 10, 2009 07:20 PM (ToM4s)
The left still think we just bombed Iraq willy-nilly for oil.
Posted by: ethos at December 10, 2009 08:58 PM (0fzsA)
Star Wars if the Lord of the Rings set in space. Lord of the Stars would have been a better title. Read the original scripts Lucas came up with. They aren't even close to the movie and they suck, really hard. But then suddenly...he had an inspiration. He reread Lord of the Rings , move some stuff around and set it in space.
George Lucas wouldn't know inspiration if it ran him over and he sure the hell isn't intellectual enough to add some deep meaning.
Posted by: Rocks at December 10, 2009 07:32 PM (ToM4s)
Actually, the early screenplays for Star Wars were a blatant rip-off of Dune. The rest is a mish-mash of other sources but back in 1974 George wanted to be Frank Herbert when he grew up.
It's a good thing Lucas never got to make his version of Dune. His output to date makes it clear he doesn't understand a lot of what was going on int those books. But then, towards the end, neither did Frank Herbert.
Posted by: epobirs at December 10, 2009 07:39 PM (ej3FQ)
#192
Anderson's widow is a friend of a friend. Perhaps someone should suggest to Harlan Ellison, who successfully sued Cameron for ripping him off with Terminator, to see if she'd care to pursue this. Serve Cameron right. Optioning the original story would have cost next to nothing compared to this flick's budget.
Posted by: epobirs at December 10, 2009 07:43 PM (ej3FQ)
That's true about the ripoff of Dune. Pretty horrid one though.
Almost makes you wish Lucas had been able to by the rights to Flash Gordon when he tried to.
Posted by: Rocks at December 10, 2009 07:46 PM (ToM4s)
Posted by: John at December 10, 2009 07:55 PM (NqhL+)
Posted by: Amos at December 10, 2009 08:23 PM (gvnPt)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 10, 2009 09:18 PM (eNxMU)
Anti-America? Check!
Anti-War apologies for Islam? Check!
Climate propaganda? Check!
Pandering to revisionist history on Native peoples? Check!
The Oscar goes to Bluebama.
Posted by: DANEgerus at December 10, 2009 09:53 PM (LMi2C)
Vexille was first-rate animation with a story line that Hollywood has long since abandoned the intellectual originality to match. Shirow, the creator of GitS, has more creative thought in his left index finger than half of Hollywood.
BTW - I'm suspecting that 'idea' for the power suits in the GI Joe Movie were 'boosted' from Vexille [along with numerous other visuals from various top-shelf animes].
And yeah, anime and I go back a long, long way [and I have the collection to prove it].
|||||||
As to Avatar, while I respect Cameron's skill, story does count.
I've been getting the same 'context/story-thread' as others have mentioned above; I'll be giving this film a pass in spite my affection for good f/x work and quality animation.
I've long since pasted my limit of tolerance for the antics of the Left Coast and the 'Big 3' Networks.
Yes, the 'story' and the 'message' matter; that's why Hollywood rarely gets a dime from me.
Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 10, 2009 10:04 PM (lYKj1)
Another good movie that shows the Indians as they really were--barbarians--is Black Robe, which, astoundingly, was made in the PC paradise of Canada. People who think waterboarding is torture need to watch a few of the scenes in that film.
As for "authentic native dress"...it has been noted that if you go to those Indian "pow-wow" festivals they have all over, there is now little difference between the ceremonial garb of the various tribes. Basically they've just swiped the "cool stuff" from each other (like feathered headresses) and done a big mash-up.
As for Avatar...when it comes out on BluRay I'll watch it...with the sound turned off.
Posted by: Flubber at December 10, 2009 10:53 PM (P9y3i)
Posted by: Hollywood at December 11, 2009 03:44 AM (f2QL0)
All cultures are worthy of praise... except yours.
Posted by: sporadic small arms fire at December 11, 2009 03:57 AM (dP6Ky)
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 11, 2009 05:01 AM (fbyXX)
Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 11, 2009 05:46 AM (T1boi)
86, Nick J, I remember WALL-E. It, too, had a Message, about how lazy fat selfish Americans were polluting the planet with their selfish fat laziness.
You did NOT just say that about a movie where humans banded together to overthrow a benevolent controller who kept them sedentary and free of any real choices from cradle to grave to actually go back to their planet and tough it out, starting anew.
YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT, SON
Posted by: SlightlyAjar at December 11, 2009 06:30 AM (Ow8zp)
"Excuse me, guys? What did you think he was going to do? People have switched teams for far less."
Hell I have switched for less. Used to be a Denier, now I'm a Climate Crank!
Why?
Free hooker sex in Carbonhagen man!
Now all I need is a free airplane ticket there and I'm set.
Posted by: memomachine at December 11, 2009 07:22 AM (/+tPT)
One thing that gets me with these types of movies, with the futuristic military equipment, is that all of the combat is close-up.
Um - no. The trend for combat is to spread things out as much as possible. When you got a soldier in a mechanized armored battle suit carrying a 'Plasma Gun, Man Portable' you got some serious firepower and you don't want anyone near him when he starts hitting the trigger.
And the support is either non-existent or completely ineffective.
Do not get me going on Ewok technology either.
Posted by: Mikey NTH at December 11, 2009 10:22 AM (O9Cc8)
Posted by: newsjunkie at December 11, 2009 12:30 PM (UN4k3)
Posted by: where can i purchase an iphone at December 14, 2009 05:17 AM (S4a/k)
Posted by: america at December 20, 2009 02:55 PM (dtUkt)
Posted by: dsg at January 11, 2010 03:41 AM (DGsXc)
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Posted by: stuiec at December 10, 2009 04:12 PM (Ate22)