November 26, 2009
— Ace I just got word that our emails, too, had been hacked. Possibly by a "whistleblower."
Since they're all coming out, I guess the only option I have is to "get in front of the story" and disclose them myself.
Note that any time we seem to be saying something conspiratorial, or insulting about you, it's "taken out of context," and who can remember the context of emails written three days ago?
LauraW to Inner_Circleflenser is getting close to the truth about Allahpundit
Dave to Inner_CircleSome of the commenters know about Drew on Twitter but they don't know the alias he's using now for the private stuff.
Ace to Inner_CircleRe: disclosures
Can you delete the emails where we all called Warden a soft-handed cakeboy? I have contacted steve_in_hb and he will be doing so as
well.
Gabriel Malor to Inner_CircleI'm a little concerned that the readers have cottoned to our fudged double posts. Maybe it'd be best if Lauraw did it for a while? She's got cred.
Ace to Inner_CircleRe: Double posting
George Soros demands a certain schedule for my double-posting. It has to be me, specifically, per the terms of my contract. I will float the idea that LauraW might do it for a while, but he's not a fan of hers, as he was bitten by a seahorse as a child.
Please delete this email immediately.
LauraW to Inner_CircleI applied a VERY ARTIFICAL reason for double post!!
Skimming headlines never gets rid of the trend - so eventually I start to add extraneous updates and a new headline to mimic the effect of a new post.
Dave to Inner_CircleHave been reworking football pick totals using last year's trick over the past 5 weeks, don't think anyone's noticed yet but if you get any requests for backup data let me know. We can probably hold it till next year.
Ace to Inner_CircleSome of the inner circle seems to have slipped in the football pool the past few weeks. I will forward you the trick I learned from Kissing Suzie Kolber about hiding the decline.
Please delete this email, and then run a key over your cornea to obliterate the image that might persist there.
Gabriel Malor to Inner_CircleActually, you don't need to worry about it, guys. I've got Ben's employer's number on speed dial. We own him.
Dave to Inner_CircleJust make sure no sudden spike; those are not easy to hide.
Please print these emails and burn or shred.
Russ to Inner_CircleHas anyone else had a problem with their SorosCorp expense account? When I tried to donate $100 to the PelosiPAC, it told me that my transaction could not be completed today due to too much traffic on the corporate server.
Dave to Inner_CircleYou have to select the correct GL account code for that expense, it's 850-01
please delete this after reading, and wipe down your laptop screen.
Gabriel Malor to Inner_CircleThose asswipes at DPUD want to liveblog with us. I tell you, I will be damned before I let them at our readers or share with them.
I say we just nix the whole thing if it comes to that. I think we can swing that.
Ace to Inner_CircleI am thinking about making the entire blog unviewable by anyone. It seems that opponents -- and even some commenters -- only want to criticize us. Why should we play their game?
I am cc'ing allah and Jim Geraghty about this "phantom blogging" idea.
Please delete this email and than urinate on your computer until it shorts out.
JackM. to Inner_CircleIn Re: Lack of Epic Poems on AOSHQ, or as we call it, the "false front site."
Sorry my production of epic poems has been lacking lately. The fact is, I am so busy writing commentary for our other site, that I am simply not able to keep up my contributions to the loss leader that is AoSHQ.
Perhaps we should think about making our other site known to the AoSHQ readers? I am sure they would enjoy reading the cutting edge commentary that we have accumulated (pseudonymously) from Greg Gutfeld, Andrew Breitbart, Andrew Levy, MKH and Amanda Carpenter, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.
I mean, sure, the quality of the comments would probably drop if we revealed it, as Ace has frequently claimed. But I have faith that our readers, having been carefully indoctrinated over the past 6 years, will rise to the occasion.
Thoughts? Oh, and mums the word...i won't breathe a hint about our real site until everyone signs off on the "big launch" at Blogapaloozastockamont.
Russ to Inner_CircleAnyone have any recipe ideas for tofurkey? The Mrs. and I decided to go meatless this Thanksgiving, and I'm looking for ways to spice it up a little
Ace to Inner_CircleYou're just *going* meatless *now*?
How the hell did you get blogging pass? We're all vegans.
This is intolerable. You *kill animals* to eat them.
I am extremely disappointed.
Please delete this email and then break into the Google and blow up the entire server hub. Shouldn't be that hard. I saw them do it in the Matrix 2.
Dave to Inner_CircleAce, here's how November is shaping up. I don't think we'll have any surprises, should be able to close the financials by Wednesday.
Revenue
Advertising $23,650.47
Contributions $8,066.50
Other $2,357.36
Expenses
Salaries $14,406.85
Depreciation $3,045.90
Insurance $904.40
Accruals $4,050.38
Interest Exp. $1,960.43
Gross Profit $9,706.37
Taxes $2,234.56
Net Income $7,471.81
Dividends $2,036.32
Transfer to $5,435.49
Retained
Earnings
Note: 401k accruals will be paid in January.
Ace to Inner_CircleDave, you're still not getting dental. Just FYI.
Ace to Inner_CircleLauraW, I need you to make sure that link of the busty lesbian pron picture I put up that time is completely erased from Google's cache.
If people get a good look at the picture they're going to realize they were dudes.
I don't know who the whistleblower is, but I notice Purple Avenger and DrewM. and Slublog don't have any emails disclosed. I find that worrying.
Posted by: Ace at
02:13 PM
| Comments (80)
Post contains 1027 words, total size 7 kb.
Posted by: Charles "Darwin" Johnson at November 26, 2009 02:20 PM (jlvw3)
I'm just saying...
Posted by: Purple Avenger at November 26, 2009 02:21 PM (g35qK)
They've gone the full Orwell, Obama is Big Brother. But with Daddy issues.
Posted by: AmishDude at November 26, 2009 02:21 PM (ItSLQ)
Posted by: James Hansen at November 26, 2009 02:22 PM (vtuZz)
Posted by: eman at November 26, 2009 02:22 PM (R484t)
Posted by: Michael Mann at November 26, 2009 02:25 PM (yVcTF)
Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at November 26, 2009 02:25 PM (HaGdt)
This nothing but a "nontroversy", nothing to see here, lets move along here dear lizard hoard.
I bid you a fine adieu.
Oh wait,..... its ace, the guy who's been skullfucking me for the past six months.
Fascist HateRanger !! Burn Him !!
Posted by: Charles Johnson at November 26, 2009 02:25 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: pat at November 26, 2009 02:25 PM (h4Zo6)
OT but I've always wondered. What is a lesbian tranny? I mean "lesbian tranny" can be kind of confusing, doncha think? At some point, you add enough accessories that you need a whole new model number.
Posted by: AmishDude at November 26, 2009 02:25 PM (ItSLQ)
Posted by: pat at November 26, 2009 02:28 PM (h4Zo6)
I know exactly what it means.
Posted by: Chaz Bono at November 26, 2009 02:29 PM (vtuZz)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 26, 2009 02:31 PM (QECjC)
These are the questions that great minds can ponder now that thermometers are back in use for measuring temperature.
Posted by: lincolntf at November 26, 2009 02:32 PM (7XkqZ)
Buy my calender ace ! Just in time for the holidays for only $24.95 on LuLu,.... and I won't ban you from the interwebs.
I bid you a fine adieu.
Posted by: Charles Johnson at November 26, 2009 02:33 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 02:38 PM (vKdhq)
I suspect that shifty Uncle Jimbo.
Posted by: Methos at November 26, 2009 02:39 PM (CoDwG)
Posted by: Scandiman at November 26, 2009 02:41 PM (Wj/x2)
Posted by: Methos at November 26, 2009 02:41 PM (CoDwG)
I am thinking about making the entire blog unviewable by anyone. It seems that opponents -- and even some commenters -- only want to criticize us. Why should we play their game?
I am cc'ing allah and Jim Geraghty about this "phantom blogging" idea.
Please delete this email and than urinate on your computer until it shorts out."
This is why I come here folks. Now if you'll excuse me...
BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!
Posted by: Blazer at November 26, 2009 02:44 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 02:50 PM (vKdhq)
Wow. I suppose I should have been suspicious when they refused to release the site-meter data I kept requesting.
I fear this is only the tip of the iceberg. Who knows what the underlying code will reveal about the apparent alliance with the Lace Wig manufacturing conglomerates.
You know they've been running things since about the 17th century. I'm convinced that the Masons & Illuminati are simply red herrings to throw everyone off the scent.
Posted by: krakatoa at November 26, 2009 02:53 PM (hQbvm)
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
HOTEL ALPHA PAPA PAPA YANKEE
FOXTROT UNIFORM CHARLIE KILO INDIA NOVEMBER GOLF
TANGO HOTEL ALPHA NOVEMBER KILO SIERRA GOLF INDIA VICTOR INDIA NOVEMBER GOLF
ALPHA CHARLIE ECHO
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT
FLASH FLASH
Posted by: David in San Diego at November 26, 2009 02:54 PM (GF+6V)
Posted by: jarhead at November 26, 2009 02:54 PM (65nBk)
I know exactly what it means.
Posted by: Chaz Bono at November 26, 2009 06:29 PM (vtuZz)
My cousin found out the hard way on a business trip to Brazil. I warned him.
Posted by: crystal at November 26, 2009 02:54 PM (KVSUW)
Ace to Inner_Circle
The ONT plan is coming along well. They have no idea how much personal 411 we've been compiling on them. In a few more months Phase II: The Extortion, will commence. My only worry is that Dave and steve are going to blow their covers as ParanoidGirl and wherestherum. Hopefully they can keep up appearances and continue to hide the sausages.
Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at November 26, 2009 02:55 PM (Uf4aV)
Posted by: ace at November 26, 2009 02:56 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: ace at November 26, 2009 02:57 PM (jlvw3)
Ace to Inner_Circle
You guys understand what I mean when I say 'hide the sausage' right? I don't want to be too explicit in these emails because you can never be too careful with data on the internet.
Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at November 26, 2009 02:58 PM (Uf4aV)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 26, 2009 03:02 PM (QECjC)
Ace to Inner_Circle,
They still haven't figured out I'm ergastularius. But I'm having trouble thinking of new erg aliases. Need help. Keep it pithy. Oh, and ironic works, too.Must keep these morons busy with 'trolls' to distract them from finding out the truth.
Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at November 26, 2009 03:02 PM (UUkhk)
I thought these were going to be Sen. Dodd's emails to Country Wide? Or his dad letters about his bribes.
Disappointed.
I know I gave $20,000 the last time lauraw hit us up, where the fuck did that go?
RACIST
Posted by: Kemp at November 26, 2009 03:03 PM (2+9Yx)
They've gone the full Orwell, Obama is Big Brother. But with Daddy issues.
Posted by: AmishDude
Yeah, while watching that weak ass $h!t, I thought how awesome it would have been to have good old JT playing defense.
Posted by: MrCaniac at November 26, 2009 03:08 PM (Vol3D)
Somebody took a pint of Ben & Jerry's Rainforest Crunch out of my mini fridge and put the carton back in almost empty.
I'm going through all the security cam recordings millisecond by millisecond, and when I find out who did it, you'll wish your lizard nic was never born
Posted by: Cahrsel Jhonsno at November 26, 2009 03:09 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: maddows middle finger at November 26, 2009 03:13 PM (WQMSP)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at November 26, 2009 03:14 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: Xoxotl at November 26, 2009 03:14 PM (j88uA)
Andrew dear, we think you should take a few days off to relax and enjoy the comfort of your loved one. It's come to our attention that you obsession with Gov. Palin has even Rosie O'Donnell questioning your mental well-being.
Posted by: Atlantic Monthly Editorial Board at November 26, 2009 03:15 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 03:15 PM (vKdhq)
While you fuckers are busy with your circle jerks here, the Kenyan continues his mission to transform America.
From RedState:
A close friend of mine is related to a sitting United States Senator. He spent the day with his Senator family member last week and this was related to him by the Senator. After taking office a traditional luncheon between the First Lady and Senate wives took place. In past administrations the First Lady met with the wives and established a relationship that extended in a friendly and working manner throughout past PresidencyÂ’s.
Michelle Obama did not attend the luncheon until after the meal was served and refused to associate with any of the wives upon or after her visit. She marched straight to the podium and informed the Senate wives that she was not there to be their friend nor exchange recipes. She was in Washington on mission to support Barack who, in Michelle Obama’s own words was ,”ordained,” from birth and,”divinely,” appointed to be where he is so that he could fulfill his destiny to, “change America.”
Posted by: John The Baptist at November 26, 2009 03:35 PM (DEAtt)
Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at November 26, 2009 06:55 PM (Uf4aV)
EPIC
Posted by: Blazer at November 26, 2009 03:38 PM (+FzLa)
Posted by: a.k.a. the man with no name at November 26, 2009 06:55 PM (Uf4aV)
Heh. You have no idea.Posted by: Mætenloch at November 26, 2009 03:41 PM (CA825)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 03:56 PM (vKdhq)
Posted by: Shooter McGavin at November 26, 2009 04:10 PM (cxGtL)
Posted by: chaos at November 26, 2009 04:10 PM (mFUln)
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 26, 2009 04:14 PM (dQdrY)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 04:22 PM (vKdhq)
Posted by: ace at November 26, 2009 04:22 PM (jlvw3)
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 26, 2009 04:29 PM (dQdrY)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at November 26, 2009 08:22 PM (vKdhq)
Laura W's hump? Pod. It must have been defective and she can't get it off.
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 26, 2009 04:31 PM (dQdrY)
Posted by: Picky at November 26, 2009 04:35 PM (etMKZ)
Posted by: GEORGE MONBIOT at November 26, 2009 04:42 PM (gSxol)
Posted by: SGT Dan at November 26, 2009 04:47 PM (aR5oH)
If it's all bunk, doesn't avoiding the destruction of the planet by fixing fudged numbers beat having to deconstruct all our economies to accomplish the same goal?
If these scientists, politicians, and AGW worshipers really only care about saving the planet, shouldn't they be rejoicing that the planet may not be in such peril after all?
Wouldn't deconstructing the likely erroneous data, with the possibility that human-kind need not spend trillions of dollars to fight a enemy we can't see, make scientists chub up over the new research opportunity?
Isn't there just as much scientific opportunities now available to credibly refute the AGW hypothesis as there were to create it in the first place?
If a cure for cancer was found, do you think scientists would mourn and deny because it means no more cancer research?
I'm puzzled that seemingly good news for the entire world is met with such anger, fury, and denial.
Posted by: The Hammer at November 26, 2009 04:55 PM (YBTwf)
LauraW to Inner_Circle
We are now entering the final phase of preparations for the Jerk-Off planned for midnight tonight. This is when we depart from our usual Lie-a-day model and sell one lie after another, offering a new post as soon as the previous thread dies out. For some reason, AoSHQ morons continue to have high expectations for this blog. We must make every effort to ensure that they feel disappointed and betrayed.
All workers should be physically and mentally straining to make this Jerk-Off a success, like every muscle in an Ewok's body strains to capture and devour its prey. We expect total compliance with the following objectives:
* Make sure the stables are thoroughly cleaned and the hobo's are properly groomed and shod. As you know, Ace prefers to lead us on hobo's backs during Jerk-Offs. Charge!
* Customer Service department: all vacation requests for this week and next are approved. Just double post. If you have not filed a vacation request, take one anyway.
* The little green football shaped pills in the kitchen are there to keep you alert and working. Take as many as you need. Officially, AoSHQ does not believe in the concept of "overdose".
* Take at least one of our servers offline, just for laughs.
* Go to the landfill and dig up some more Liberal trolls. If you see any half empty Valu-rite bottles (and you will), grab those, too.
* Place crap bags in company latrines so those Moron appetites can be "filled". To this end, the company will provide free lunch today from El Feo, the filthiest burrito joint in Hoboken. Do your worst, guys.
* Neutralize all negative thinking among our commenters. We simply cannot tolerate any more posts like "AoSHQGate Emails" or "get in front of the story" . If electronic means like word filters and IP bans do not work, we must reactivate the rapid-response teams to physically eliminate all threats to our reputation.
* Last time, spot checks revealed that approximately 25% of posts are broken, incomplete, or excessively dirty. This is unacceptable. For this Jerk-Off, defective posts must make up at least 40%.
* Remind Mætenloch that there's no need to hurry on his posts. Prompt delivery makes our customers spoiled and argumentative. Let them learn humility and gratitude while they wait.
Above all, we must strive to make this Jerk-Off even more tedious, disappointing, and lucrative than the last one. The employee who achieves the most toward this end will be rewarded with one brown shirt. Second place: two brown shirts.
Forward into battle! Remember: to give one's life for Soros is glorious!
Print this email and shove it up your ass.
Posted by: whistleblower at November 26, 2009 04:57 PM (g7J39)
Posted by: Indian Outlaw at November 26, 2009 05:05 PM (8zsWd)
Look over there! I hate Palin!
Posted by: Def Leppard at November 26, 2009 05:08 PM (hIOnV)
Please continue to promote commenters to link quotes, funny shit, and pron.
However, to further piss off commenters, deny the links, and post a pissy message like..."your posts are too long, use task bar etc...."
Posted by: hutch1200 at November 26, 2009 05:12 PM (zANi3)
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 26, 2009 08:29 PM (dQdrY)
Well leaving-no-fingerprints is my M.O. That's why I've never been suspended, expelled, fired, or arrested despite all the horrible things I've done.
Posted by: Mætenloch at November 26, 2009 05:13 PM (CA825)
Posted by: Mætenloch at November 26, 2009 09:13 PM (CA825)
Man, that is just wrong. I even get accused of stuff I didn't do.
Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at November 26, 2009 05:32 PM (dQdrY)
Posted by: chaos at November 26, 2009 05:35 PM (mFUln)
Posted by: CoolCzech at November 26, 2009 05:42 PM (QECjC)
WAAAAAIIIIITTTTTTTTTTT just one fuckin' minute here.
Can this ...I mean: does this mean that the guys really don't got shirts?
Posted by: davis,br at November 26, 2009 06:59 PM (uCShA)
Posted by: valu-rite fan at November 26, 2009 07:20 PM (WiHfw)
Those asswipes at DPUD want to liveblog with us. I tell you, I will be damned before I let them at our readers or share with them.
I say we just nix the whole thing if it comes to that. I think we can swing that.
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!
Posted by: doubleplusundead at November 26, 2009 07:31 PM (iJZsd)
Can't get the Biggus Dickus subroutine to cooperate. All face-cocks run to infinity.
Stick this email in Gavin Schmidt's ass and ignite.
Posted by: cbullitt at November 26, 2009 07:59 PM (g5ih3)
Posted by: Mr. Right at November 26, 2009 08:07 PM (vE11g)
Posted by: george monbiot at November 27, 2009 08:08 AM (ec11r)
Posted by: Neo at November 27, 2009 12:54 PM (tE8FB)
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Exposing these emails is soooo pointless. Anyhoo, they don't mean what you think they mean. They mean what we tell you they mean.
Posted by: The MSM at November 26, 2009 02:19 PM (AnTyA)