Ace of Spades HQ

December 09, 2009

Hump Day is List Day
— Dave in Texas

Special coverage from Forbes, the 67 Most Powerful People in the World. Because power is better.

No surprise to see Obama in the top slot, and Hu Jintao right behind him. I'm a little surprised to see Wal-Mart CEO Mike Duke ahead of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett (a little surprised, not hugely surprised).

Pope Benedict XVI is in the top 20, check, also various heads of state. I had no idea the CEO of Telmex is the world's 3rd richest dude. Hillary is listed as is Bill (but she's #17 and he's #31).

Check this dude out at #41, Joachin Guzman. Mexican druglord edges out the President of Russia.

And finishing up at an impressive #67, everybody's favorite ~~burrito-head~~ sammichscarfinbutterbean*, Hugo Chavez. The article says Forbes decided a major contributing factor was not only to have power, but to actively use it. See Sergey Brin and Larry Page.

* mea culpa

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 07:18 AM | Comments (70)
Post contains 162 words, total size 1 kb.

1 List day???

Well, a few of the Morons are down in the dumps for these holidays so how about a listing of the top christmas albums of all time??

Just an idea.

Posted by: Vic at December 09, 2009 07:22 AM (CDUiN)

2 Why 67? Why not move Chavez down two spots?

Posted by: jimmytheleg at December 09, 2009 07:23 AM (IQI9O)

3 I barely missed the cut.

Posted by: Uniball at December 09, 2009 07:24 AM (27iEn)

4 I would motorboat Angela Merkel if she would let me.

Posted by: Uniball at December 09, 2009 07:27 AM (27iEn)

5 Hey you Texas goober watch that burrito head crap. Capische?

Posted by: Ace's Ban Hammer at December 09, 2009 07:30 AM (RYJu6)

6 I got this announcement in my email this morning. Good for Apple:

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at December 09, 2009 07:30 AM (lC4sc)

7 burrito-head, Hugo Chavez.

Wow, now there's some devastating humor there. I totally get what Ace was saying now.

Posted by: Rocks at December 09, 2009 07:31 AM (Q1lie)

8 I hate these kinds of stupid lists. What does it mean to say, really, that suddenly Hu Jintao is ranked #2 as most powerful person in the world? More powerful than the Prime Minister of Great Britain? Really? As trendy as it is to ascribe incredible powers to the Chinese, the fact is their huge population is a great millstone around a neck - yeah, they have a huge middle class, but also a billion people living hardly any better than they did during the middle ages. Their greatest fear in China is internal chaos resulting from these great disparities. Yes, they have a lot of dollars - but all they can do with those dollars, ultimately, is to repatriate them back into the US economy, one way or the other: thru direct investment, which is great for us, or by buying Arabs, who will THEN invest in us - also, ultimately, good for us. In a way, then, a trade deficit in the end results in long run investment in the US economy. Few people realize that the US had a trade deficit throughout the 19th and early 20th centuries - precisely the time it was laying the groundwork for its economic dominance. To say that China can somehow hurt is economically is to miss the fact they would be imploding their own economy. The United States, incidentally, could always decides it wants to make its own cheap crap for WalMart again, and where would that leave Beijing? Regarding other aspects of international power, does ANYONE see Communist China as some sort of role model that was, is, and always will the United States? Do a handful of tyrants in Beijing, trading in human body parts ripped out form the bodies of their executed political prisoners, truly have the moral authority that the President of the United States yields? The lesson I get from these lists that Liberals love to put together, and their habitual fawning over China, is that they are forever enamored of totalitarian "liberal" rule.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 09, 2009 07:31 AM (QECjC)

9 This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at December 09, 2009 11:30 AM (lC4sc) So I guess the ear plugs come in two colors (brown or pink), and a variety of shapes: either pointy, mostly round, rather narrow or extra wide. They're also great to suck on.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 09, 2009 07:32 AM (QECjC)

10 Heck, Osama bin Laden made the cut and even Time Magazine thinks he's dead.

Posted by: Beppo at December 09, 2009 07:33 AM (JFseb)

11 sorry about my extra big font this morning,,,,but I had two poptarts for breakfast..

Posted by: prettypinkfluffypanties at December 09, 2009 07:33 AM (lC4sc)

12 Literally translated, burrito means "little donkey," so all he was saying is that Chavez is an ass.

Yeah.

Is it wrong that I thought LauraW wrote this post just because it said "Hump Day" in the title?

Posted by: grognard at December 09, 2009 07:33 AM (v0kvW)

13 Oh, I meant to say the Chinese can either use their dollars in OUR economy directly, or buy OIL from Arabs, who THEN have to ultimately repatriate the dollars into our economy.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 09, 2009 07:34 AM (QECjC)

What? No Tiger Woods? It sure seems as though he has some kinda wicked power over teh wimmens.

11 at last count.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 09, 2009 07:38 AM (ZGhSv)

15 OT, maybe not. Public Policy Polling has W at 44% and 0 at 50% as to who you would prefer to be president right now. Zing!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Seriously at December 09, 2009 07:39 AM (pozD5)

16 Heck, Osama bin Laden made the cut and even Time Magazine thinks he's dead.

You beat me to it. I was going to mention that they are including worm food on this list

Posted by: Hedgehog at December 09, 2009 07:40 AM (oQIfB)

17
I'm surprised Ahmadinejad did not make the list. If by "power" you mean the ability to make people miserable, then Ahmadinejad definitely belongs on the list.

By the way, did you see the list of "experts" that Forbes compiled to select the seven most influential figures? I mean, Wesley Clark picking the seven most important warriors in the world today? Or Katie Couric, of all people, picking the most important media figures? Whatever.

Posted by: Brown Line at December 09, 2009 07:40 AM (CFHVk)

18 the fact is their huge population is a great millstone around a neck

And how many million of them are young men who can't find a date/wife after all the female babies were killed due to the one-child policy?

^{(You think the problem is bad, wait until you see the government's solution!)}

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 09, 2009 07:41 AM (NtiET)

19 Amazingly, it correlates one-to-one with the top Chicken-fuckers

Posted by: Mike H at December 09, 2009 07:42 AM (ORCyX)

20 Make no mistake....the list is wrong.

Posted by: death at December 09, 2009 07:43 AM (6/BJr)

21 (You think the problem is bad, wait until you see the government's solution!)

Is the solution gov't run healthcare?

Posted by: Barc at December 09, 2009 07:43 AM (ia/06)

22 Bill Gates is no longer in charge at Microsoft. He's retired, and now he spends most of his time supervising the Gates Foundation.

Posted by: Steven Den Beste at December 09, 2009 07:44 AM (+rSRq)

23 Venezuelans don't eat Burritos - and neither do most Mexicans . . .

They are a construct of southwestern US and extreme northern Mexican cuisine.

Venezuelan food is rather mild - with fish, fried bananas, and Dutch cheese predominating.

However, Chavez is an ass in the extreme . . .

Posted by: Joe at December 09, 2009 07:44 AM (anJq7)

24 Can we get a list of Obama's 67 top used phrases?

Posted by: Barc at December 09, 2009 07:44 AM (ia/06)

25 I'm still dead, how come I didn't make the list?

Posted by: Gen. Francisco Franco at December 09, 2009 07:46 AM (ORCyX)

26 The extra men are a feature, not a bug. Just think of all the raping they could do if you sent them to war.

Posted by: Truman North at December 09, 2009 07:46 AM (e8YaH)

27 Posted by: Steven Den Beste at December 09, 2009 11:44 AM (+rSRq)

That really you? There's a blast from the past. I used to read your old gig all the time. Good to see ya, man.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at December 09, 2009 07:47 AM (UBQGM)

28 Employee of one of Buffett's company.

Bennies are being slashed BIG TIME in order to try to save jobs. We'll see how it goes. Still get perturbed when I consider that he thinks he's not paying enough in taxes, though.

BTW, by "big time" I mean the 401K is almost gone.

Posted by: Cam Winston at December 09, 2009 07:48 AM (mHiW8)

29 'Burritohead' is not an ethnic slur. It's an endearment developed at the Hostages2, mostly for making fun of Pajama Momma, who eats a lot of Mexican.

Food. I think Dave simply has H2 on the brain.

Posted by: lauraw at December 09, 2009 07:48 AM (rosai)

I see Stephen Harper is under the radar. He's in Hopenhagen and he's not signing anything. He's a big time conservative and is acting it out accordingly.

His major problem is how many more troops will he send to Afghanistan?

Canadian troops are in the forefront and taking an inordinate amount of casualties. Decisions, decisions.

He hates the UN.

They want Canada to really hand over the carbon cash and Harper is laughing at them.

Our economy grew in real terms because our dollar is not levered very much.He's a sane leader in an insane world. I guess he doesn't rate.

Our cap and tax went in the garbage can-thanks to Harper.

Posted by: chicocano at December 09, 2009 07:49 AM (2n5cq)

Is the solution gov't run healthcare?

Much worse than that. Gov't run whorehouses!!

Posted by: harleycowboy at December 09, 2009 07:49 AM (JKGfQ)

Steven Den Beste? For real? I quoted your HA post yesterday.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at December 09, 2009 07:51 AM (ZGhSv)

33 I see that Tiger is 11 over par. He's gonna start pouting to improve his game.

Posted by: chicocano at December 09, 2009 07:52 AM (2n5cq)

34 USS Clueless was an awesome display of pondering. Really bummed when he shut it down.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at December 09, 2009 07:53 AM (UBQGM)

35 Mallamutt you forgot "Some say that..."

Posted by: Hedgehog at December 09, 2009 07:53 AM (oQIfB)

36 Does Tiger putt better when the greens are shaved?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at December 09, 2009 07:53 AM (UBQGM)

37 Two cats in my kitchen and a mouse playing behind the trash can. The cats sleep on....

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at December 09, 2009 07:59 AM (UBQGM)

38 I have a fookin' list too, but it is confidential. Launching Algore from a Clown-Cannon is just the beginning.

Posted by: Huckleberry at December 09, 2009 08:00 AM (s2bW4)

39 Ratan Tata, the 7th most powerful person in the world, is so powerful that Forbes listed him at #59 upon his request. He doesn't want to draw too much attention to himself, you see.

Posted by: FireHorse at December 09, 2009 08:01 AM (Vl5GH)

40 ...burrito-head...

You will be banning yourself when?

Posted by: Barbarian at December 09, 2009 08:04 AM (EL+OC)

5. unprecedented (because he is so unprecedented, this list is unprecedented with the same word showing up 2 - cause its unprecedented)

You're a class act.

Posted by: Barc at December 09, 2009 08:09 AM (ia/06)

42 Um, uh, going off-topic, but you also forgot these:
"false choice"
"tired dogmas/theories"
"My predecessor"/"last 8 years"/"The previous administration"/etc (not sure exactly the phrase he usually uses for this)
"Mmm, mmm, mmm, ME"

Posted by: whatever at December 09, 2009 08:13 AM (rGla2)

43 Where is Rush?

Posted by: VooDoo at December 09, 2009 08:21 AM (WGGsV)

44 30 'Burritohead' is not an ethnic slur.

I am offended. Racists here, one and all.

Posted by: Paco De Jesus A La Habanera at December 09, 2009 08:30 AM (EL+OC)

45 Not to reignite last nights banhammer thread (I only read the first 300 or so posts), and I'm a big Dave in Texas fan even though I hate the Cowboys, but when I saw "burrito-head" I cringed bit (and would have even w/o last night's post). I had to be reminded that burrito means "little burro/ass" so I guess it's on me.

Posted by: whatever at December 09, 2009 08:36 AM (rGla2)

Nah, it's a good point. I'll take that hit. Really, I was just thinking of his huge misshapen head.

Suggestions?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 09, 2009 08:37 AM (WvXvd)

Football head.

Applehead.

Melonhead.

Flaming Jackass with Crap for a Head.

Posted by: Grim at December 09, 2009 08:42 AM (gyNYk)

No surprise to see Obama in the top slot

It must be a propoganda list. They want people to believe Obama is powerful, but he's only what his handlers tell him he is. And he has many handlers.

Posted by: katya at December 09, 2009 08:44 AM (t+Dxj)

Posted by: Mallamutt at December 09, 2009 12:20 PM (V9SYy)

For Barry's list:

I inherited the worst...

It was much worse than we initial thought

Posted by: TheQuietman at December 09, 2009 08:47 AM (1Jaio)

Two cats in my kitchen and a mouse playing behind the trash can. The cats sleep on....
Is that a political analogy, Herr M? If it is, you should start writing Ace's analogies for him.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 09, 2009 08:50 AM (2qU2d)

Love your stuff Dave. Love Uncle Jim's stuff. All the military news.

Sorta feeling it for giving Uncle Jimbo a hard time. The thread from hell is still going. Every once in a while, i throw a little gas on it. Its all fun.

Posted by: chicocano at December 09, 2009 08:50 AM (2n5cq)

52 I like eating a little ass, too, whatever.

Posted by: tiger woods at December 09, 2009 08:52 AM (2qU2d)

Posted by: tiger woods at December 09, 2009 08:53 AM (2qU2d)

54 WTF has happened to this blog. Did you not see the Texas goober part. If we can't bust on each other and Ace for gettin pissed off we may as well go fuck that chicken and eat tapioca.

Posted by: Spad13 at December 09, 2009 08:54 AM (RYJu6)

The thread from hell is still going.

I'm not going in there today. It'll probably eat my computer.

Posted by: katya at December 09, 2009 08:57 AM (t+Dxj)

56 Wow, this list includes the head of an organized crime cartel, a scumbag politician, and someone who wasn't born in the United States. And that's just the first guy...

Posted by: Pak at December 09, 2009 09:05 AM (Phwij)

Shibumi,

Awesome.

Posted by: katya at December 09, 2009 09:09 AM (t+Dxj)

58 Alright, who ate the comments?

Posted by: katya at December 09, 2009 09:14 AM (t+Dxj)

59 Stupid internet.

Posted by: katya at December 09, 2009 09:15 AM (t+Dxj)

60 *burp*

Posted by: Hugo Chavez at December 09, 2009 09:15 AM (Wh0W+)

61 I think his Head is full of Seamen.

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan. at December 09, 2009 09:34 AM (T1boi)

62 Hugo Chavez...3 steps below Filthy Sanchez!

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 09, 2009 09:59 AM (QAtiI)

63 And what a post # to drive the point home..(another comedy joke, same low price)

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 09, 2009 10:01 AM (QAtiI)

64 Pope Benedict XVI is in the top 20, check, also various heads of state.

Technically the Pope is also a head of state.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 09, 2009 10:38 AM (XIXhw)

65 Check this dude out at #41, Joachin Guzman. Mexican druglord edges out the President of Russia.

Heh. He probably has more submarines than Putin.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 09, 2009 10:40 AM (XIXhw)

66 Sorta feeling it for giving Uncle Jimbo a hard time. The thread from hell is still going. Every once in a while, i throw a little gas on it. Its all fun.

Damn, almost 2500 comments! Ace should threaten to ban people every week instead of every six months. He could switch to Stoly. Or just drink more Val-u-rite.

Posted by: Ace's liver at December 09, 2009 10:48 AM (XIXhw)

67 Posted by: Mallamutt at December 09, 2009 12:20 PM (V9SYy) You left out, "Turn on my TelePrompTer!"

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 09, 2009 12:01 PM (QECjC)

In Soviet Russia, Sanchez dirties you.

Posted by: wankov smearinoff, no, not an anti-gay taunt, comrade at December 09, 2009 12:24 PM (2qU2d)

Posts 1-75

That's some of the funniest shit I've read.

Posted by: Tommy Gunn at December 09, 2009 03:11 PM (rQTdM)

70 I'm going.

Posted by: ShaBoom's at December 09, 2009 03:41 PM (oCMdU)

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