December 23, 2009
— Dave in Texas And now you're gonna hear about it. You! DrewM. My mom says your historical references STINK!
We've all waited for this special time of year. We've nurtured our grudges and disappointments for twelve miserable months while the economy and the job market got snuffed, and our government brought the Curse of Maxine Waters to life by taking over everything from GM to the largest insurance company in America. We've had weeks of nasty back-room political arm-twisting to shove this mess called Health Care Reform to Obama's desk.
We are pissed, so lets air some grievances. I'll start. You people disappointed the hell out of me this year. Google your own doggone cheerleader pics why don't you? I put up a post a few weeks ago to give you all some place to comment on the games and it wasn't good enough because it didn't have a cheerleader. It was like watching Katrina refugees streaming out of New Orleans all over again.
Don't even get me started on Twitter. I got problems with you people too.
UPDATE FROM LAURAW: Yeah, this is the Festivus post. Festivus is a time to gather together your family, your friends, and your most precious Morons. And tell them all how they've disappointed you in the past year.
On a more serious note, 2009 fucking sucked in so many ways it's hard to even catalogue them. All the misfortunes visited upon family and friends, and even personal losses of both...I hope we're all never again so happy to put a year of life in the rearview mirror.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at
11:22 AM
| Comments (246)
Post contains 285 words, total size 2 kb.
Posted by: I Need A Beer at December 23, 2009 11:28 AM (Tot+h)
Posted by: The Q at December 23, 2009 11:30 AM (pfStM)
Posted by: Bugler at December 23, 2009 11:31 AM (YCVBL)
Posted by: Cosmo Kramer, Who Reads the Site for the N-Word at December 23, 2009 11:31 AM (jlvw3)
Posted by: I Need A Beer at December 23, 2009 11:32 AM (Tot+h)
Posted by: Mrs. Claus at December 23, 2009 11:33 AM (wkrmD)
Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at December 23, 2009 11:33 AM (f6ugW)
Take that, Ace of Spades!
Posted by: Intrepid at December 23, 2009 11:33 AM (92zkk)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 23, 2009 11:34 AM (Vu6sl)
Posted by: Alex Jones at December 23, 2009 11:35 AM (f6ugW)
Did you all see them Mormon boys pounding those Beavers last night? Didn't even need magic spectacles to see them, it was there plain as day.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 11:35 AM (Haq+B)
Only if they paint their damned field green instead of that hideous, eyeball peeling blue.
Posted by: Intrepid at December 23, 2009 11:36 AM (92zkk)
I'm officially cheesed at our host Ace. I was just setling into the unique, suffocating world of 10,000 word posts when wham! We're back to short, succinct posts.
This used to be the poor man's Kindle. Alas, tis no more.
Posted by: Blue Hen at December 23, 2009 11:36 AM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Bugler at December 23, 2009 11:36 AM (YCVBL)
“After weeks of closed-door clandestine negotiations, Senator Reid finally emerged with a 383-page Christmas list. This bill is a dark example of everything that is wrong with Washington today. Despite all the promises of accountability and transparency, this bill is a grab bag of Chicago-style, back-room buy-offs. It is nothing more than a private game of Let’s Make A Deal with special interest groups financed by American taxpayers.” — Sen. Orrin Hatch (R., Utah) on the Senate floor.
Bitch-slap of the day.
Posted by: ethos at December 23, 2009 11:37 AM (0fzsA)
They drove my family out of Bayside!
Posted by: George Costanza at December 23, 2009 11:37 AM (8g9qq)
Did you all see them Mormon boys pounding those Beavers last night? Didn't even need magic spectacles to see them, it was there plain as day.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 03:35 PM (Haq+B)
I can relate to those Mormon boys pounding those Beavers!
Posted by: Tiger Woods at December 23, 2009 11:38 AM (Vu6sl)
Posted by: Barbara Empty Box-er at December 23, 2009 11:38 AM (pfStM)
Posted by: Joanna at December 23, 2009 11:38 AM (gJQTg)
Posted by: Terry at December 23, 2009 11:40 AM (ddL+W)
Posted by: Cicero at December 23, 2009 11:40 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Kreuger at December 23, 2009 11:41 AM (pfStM)
Posted by: Wm T Sherman at December 23, 2009 11:41 AM (w41GQ)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 23, 2009 11:42 AM (Vu6sl)
Hey Kueger, my son tells me your company STINKS!
Posted by: Frank Costanza at December 23, 2009 11:42 AM (/Mla1)
Posted by: dfbaskwill at December 23, 2009 11:42 AM (7Gs5S)
You couldn't smooth a set of silk sheets if you were makin out with a babe...
i lost my train of thought
Posted by: Frank Costanza at December 23, 2009 11:42 AM (/Mla1)
Posted by: Dr. "Feel Good" Obama at December 23, 2009 11:43 AM (xxgag)
DrewM wouldn't know a proper historical reference if it propositioned him in the airport men's room.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 11:44 AM (Haq+B)
Posted by: Waterhouse at December 23, 2009 11:44 AM (w2aDe)
Posted by: tmitsss at December 23, 2009 11:45 AM (V4Pya)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 23, 2009 11:45 AM (muUqs)
Posted by: Terry at December 23, 2009 11:46 AM (ddL+W)
Posted by: Thomas Jefferson, Yes THAT Thomas Jefferson at December 23, 2009 11:46 AM (iYbLN)
If my historical references were wrong, then I don't want to be right!
Posted by: sockpuppet of DrewM at December 23, 2009 11:46 AM (Vu6sl)
Posted by: Jackie Mackie Passy Paisley at December 23, 2009 11:46 AM (YCVBL)
You're all preverts. Posted by: Joanna
I'll raise you 60 Senators...
Kin I has more cheerleader plz soon?
Posted by: Gmac at December 23, 2009 11:47 AM (ukwtL)
Is Dave going to perform Feats of Strength with one of his cheerleaders?
I foresee Dave's pwnage and epic fail.
Posted by: kevlarchick at December 23, 2009 11:47 AM (TNuqz)
Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at December 23, 2009 11:48 AM (pZEar)
Whatever happened to her?
Didn't she disappear behind a pay per view web page?
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:48 AM (GF+6V)
Posted by: Gmac at December 23, 2009 11:48 AM (ukwtL)
Posted by: Thomas Jefferson, Yes THAT Thomas Jefferson at December 23, 2009 03:46 PM (iYbLN)
Does it ever end?
Posted by: Sally Hemmings at December 23, 2009 11:49 AM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Bacons, Meteors, and Glen Fiddichs at December 23, 2009 11:49 AM (erIg9)
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (GF+6V)
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (GF+6V)
Posted by: President Toonces at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (H6Jyg)
Posted by: d at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (uTknY)
Posted by: Jackie Mackie Passy Paisley at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (YCVBL)
FIFY
Posted by: MPFS, Elf Sized Fish Stick at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (iYbLN)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 23, 2009 11:51 AM (DIYmd)
Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 23, 2009 11:52 AM (B5cM9)
Thank you Jesus.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:53 AM (GF+6V)
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 11:55 AM (OlN4e)
I give it a 76. It's got a good beat but it's kinda hard to dance to.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:55 AM (GF+6V)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 23, 2009 03:45 PM (muUqs)
BIGOT!
Posted by: Jim in San Diego at December 23, 2009 11:55 AM (F09Uo)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat at December 23, 2009 11:55 AM (vKdhq)
Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 23, 2009 11:56 AM (f6ugW)
Posted by: pajama momma at December 23, 2009 11:56 AM (275r1)
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at December 23, 2009 11:56 AM (DIYmd)
Posted by: Rudolph at December 23, 2009 11:56 AM (YCVBL)
FIFY
Posted by: MPFS, Elf Sized Fish Stick at December 23, 2009 03:51 PM (iYbLN)
it was implied, you rookie.
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Bacons, Meteors, and Glen Fiddichs at December 23, 2009 11:59 AM (erIg9)
Posted by: Less Nessman WKRP at December 23, 2009 11:59 AM (AOo6d)
We're happy to be of service! Enjoy
http://tinyurl.com/yf2u87b
Posted by: Sexy Cheerleader Pics R Us at December 23, 2009 11:59 AM (92zkk)
Real friends help you move bodies.
True friends bring their own shovels without asking.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 12:00 PM (GF+6V)
Posted by: Blitzen at December 23, 2009 12:00 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: Terry at December 23, 2009 12:01 PM (ddL+W)
it was implied, you rookie.
Some guys just don't get oblique literary allusions.
Posted by: Cicero at December 23, 2009 04:01 PM (QKKT0)
some guys just don't get the implied /sarc
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Bacons, Meteors, and Glen Fiddichs at December 23, 2009 12:02 PM (erIg9)
Eat a bullet, fatso. You gave kids this entitlement mentality with all your free shit. Now they've grown up to elect a communist for president, thinking they deserve everything for nothing, and now we're all screwed. Go fuck a reindeer.
Crusty
PS: You can take that Mego Batcave I never got when I was a kid and cram that up your chimney, too.
Posted by: Crusty at December 23, 2009 12:04 PM (GvSpB)
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 12:04 PM (OlN4e)
The football threads need more cheerleader. All posts, in fact, need more cheerleader. Even flaming skull posts need a cheerleader. That's how you put asses in the seats.
Wait. I lost my train of thought.
Posted by: lorien1973 at December 23, 2009 12:04 PM (IhQuA)
Posted by: Methos at December 23, 2009 12:04 PM (zyyJm)
Posted by: gp at December 23, 2009 12:05 PM (bQzXH)
FIFY
Posted by: MPFS, Elf Sized Fish Stick at December 23, 2009 03:51 PM (iYbLN)
Somehow, a live bury seems more schadenfreud.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 12:05 PM (GF+6V)
Posted by: Charles Gibson at December 23, 2009 12:06 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: St. Agnostic at December 23, 2009 12:06 PM (gbCNS)
I get to spend Friday with my basket-case in-the-thick-of-menopause mother and my sister, whose intervention didn't stick (in large part because my mom enables her). My dad's on my side, but he has to live with them so he stays quiet. I'm bringing a thermos of coffee for myself, and I'm seriously considering adding Kaluha. It might help with the "why won't you apologize for what you said to your sister a couple weeks ago" guilt trips.
I'm only telling you guys this because I can't say it anywhere else. My mom knows my blog URL and my Twitter feed. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.
You all suck, but it's an awesome kind of suck.
Posted by: Joanna at December 23, 2009 12:06 PM (gJQTg)
Posted by: Countrysquire at December 23, 2009 12:07 PM (PQ67Y)
Posted by: joncelli at December 23, 2009 12:07 PM (RD7QR)
Somehow, a live bury seems more schadenfreud.
Posted by: David in San Diego at December 23, 2009 04:05 PM (GF+6V)
even better, since we're all going to have to live with this nightmare.
Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Bacons, Meteors, and Glen Fiddichs at December 23, 2009 12:07 PM (erIg9)
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 12:08 PM (OlN4e)
Interpol now given COMPLETE diplomatic immunity, including 'invioable' ( read no FOIA requests) archives....
Posted by: citizen khan at December 23, 2009 12:08 PM (v/mCk)
Posted by: Ace's GF at December 23, 2009 12:09 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: pajama momma at December 23, 2009 12:09 PM (275r1)
Posted by: Y-not in California at December 23, 2009 12:10 PM (sey23)
Can we make this into a flame thread, you gap-toothed, sister-wife humping, valu-rite swilling, syphilitic MO-rons? Pretty please?
I think not, but thanks for asking.
P.S. Die violently and soon
Happy Holidays!
Posted by: Blue Hen at December 23, 2009 12:10 PM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Joanna at December 23, 2009 12:10 PM (gJQTg)
Plus it's going to freezing rain.
Bah. Freakin. Hum. Bug.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 23, 2009 12:10 PM (bQ5xy)
Posted by: Terry at December 23, 2009 12:11 PM (ddL+W)
114 I hate having to use tiny urls. It makes my sphincter pucker.
Worry not. ZeroCare gotta cure for tight sphincter...
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 12:11 PM (OlN4e)
Can't we all just have a white christmas
Posted by: Less Nessman WKRP
Screw that! I have four tee times before New Years!
This is racist and/or sexist. You're getting a banhammer for Christmas!!
Posted by: Blue Hen at December 23, 2009 12:12 PM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Charles Gibson at December 23, 2009 12:13 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: Barack Gump at December 23, 2009 12:13 PM (7AOgy)
dayum, you beat me to it.
Posted by: pajama momma at December 23, 2009 12:14 PM (275r1)
Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 23, 2009 03:56 PM (f6ugW)
Well, us, and the DTs.
Posted by: Barack Gump at December 23, 2009 12:14 PM (7AOgy)
Posted by: St. Agnostic at December 23, 2009 12:15 PM (gbCNS)
A) I sucked a penis last night.
or
B) I liked it.
???
Posted by: Allahpundit at December 23, 2009 12:17 PM (rkrOv)
Posted by: trainer at December 23, 2009 12:18 PM (yCWYQ)
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 12:18 PM (OlN4e)
A) Allahpundit sucked on my penis last night.
or
B) He swallowed.
???
Posted by: Ed Morrissey at December 23, 2009 12:19 PM (rkrOv)
Posted by: the slob at December 23, 2009 12:19 PM (i1+rx)
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list — I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs —
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs —
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat —
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like that —
And all third persons who on spoiling tête-á-têtes insist —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!
There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist — I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist —
I don't think she'd be missed — I'm sure she'd not be missed!
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist — I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as — What d'ye call him — Thing'em-bob, and likewise — Never-mind,
And 'St— 'st— 'st— and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who —
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!
Posted by: stuiec at December 23, 2009 12:19 PM (7AOgy)
So I've come to the conclusion that Thanxmas kicks Festivus's ass, and you all are fools for continuing to celebrate a made-up holiday where Jerry Stiller wrestles people underneath a metal pole. I realize I have a made-up holiday, too, but at least it has turkey AND frosted cookies.
Dumbasses.
Posted by: INCITEmarsh at December 23, 2009 12:19 PM (f3AuC)
Many have tried, I give them all a solid B+. And a kick in the nuts.
Posted by: DrewM. at December 23, 2009 12:19 PM (FCWQb)
Oh, please pile on the linking and markup system for AoS. Good grief! One thing I've discovered is powertwitter has a 'shorten link' function that I've been using, beats dealing tinyurl all to shiat. But still, adding a link to this site shouldn't involved animal sacrifice and bloodletting. Sheesh.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 12:20 PM (Haq+B)
Posted by: Johnny I, @eastviewphotog at December 23, 2009 12:21 PM (7qFIY)
Posted by: the slob at December 23, 2009 04:19 PM (i1+rx)
Glad you're still here with us M&M's to fight for the cause.
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 23, 2009 12:21 PM (Vu6sl)
wth? All parents must understand the importance of pron, even if they mock it!
It's not just that I can't get it on with someone else, Father, Mother, it's just that...I need pron, more than air or food! The paper-thin plots, the "actresses" (or "actors", if you like that), the sets, and the trademark music all go together well in a good Skinemax flick like bread and butter.
Except if there's David Hasselhoff in it, then it's like dead skunk and dog feces.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 23, 2009 12:22 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Amy Winehosue at December 23, 2009 12:22 PM (F/4zf)
2009 will forever be the 'Shitstorm of Stupid' to me. I've been in the technology / construction field for over 25 years (structured cabling systems)and I've never seen so many fucking moronic business moves as I've seen this year.
Note to 2009: Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
You fucking morons have been a breath of fresh air, compared to work this year.
Happy Holidays, you bunch of paste eating, knuckle dragging, cousin dating, booger eating sumbitches!
Posted by: Gromulin at December 23, 2009 12:22 PM (7FA9S)
Posted by: Hollowpoint at December 23, 2009 12:23 PM (plsiE)
So I've come to the conclusion that Thanxmas kicks Festivus's ass.
Thanxmas? Too easy to confuse with the time-honored tradition of "xmas." How about Turkivity?
Posted by: Cicero at December 23, 2009 12:23 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 23, 2009 12:23 PM (P33XN)
Sometimes the ONT turns into a shootin' and boolits thread, but the ladies usually kill that off by dropping the shoe bomb.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 12:24 PM (Haq+B)
Posted by: joncelli at December 23, 2009 12:24 PM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Barry in DC at December 23, 2009 04:23 PM (DIYmd)
Ah, Barry, you made me blush!
Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 23, 2009 12:24 PM (B5cM9)
http://tinyurl.com/yf2u87b
Posted by: Sexy Cheerleader Pics R Us at December 23, 2009 03:59 PM (92zkk)
AHHHH, MY EYES!!!!
Posted by: wrg at December 23, 2009 12:25 PM (7t+Ws)
We also haven't talked about longbows in ages.
Posted by: Robin Hood at December 23, 2009 12:25 PM (w2aDe)
Teh Pron Is Wrong dontcha know.
Seriously, if it weren't for you slack jawed mongrels, I would be twitching in a corner trying to suppress my Tourettes like swearing.
Posted by: alexthechick at December 23, 2009 12:25 PM (bQ5xy)
Posted by: joncelli at December 23, 2009 12:26 PM (RD7QR)
Try being shut in the back of the cooler for the last couple of years, turd-herders.
While you gibber among yourselves, amusing each other with all the sub-moronic vapidity of a South Carolina beauty queen arguing with the mirror over which one of you is purtier, the true genius of Johnny Coldcuts has been deep-sixed under Ace's fat furry ass after he pimped me out for donations from all you gullible mouthbreathers.
One day, morons, I'll have my revenge.
And like me, it is best served with a baseball bat and 2 friends who don't ask no questions.
Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at December 23, 2009 12:26 PM (hQbvm)
Posted by: maddogg at December 23, 2009 12:26 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: torabora at December 23, 2009 12:28 PM (1raUj)
Just sick of you racist wingers who have gotten lost in the day to day trivial problems which are Obama. We avoided the greater evil of McCain and you birther teabaggers better not forget it.
Posted by: Amy Winehosue at December 23, 2009 04:22 PM (F/4zf)
Shit, I thought this scrunt died in the shower this past weekend from a drug overdose ?
Oh, thats right, Amy Winehouse doesn't take showers, my bad.
Posted by: Blazer at December 23, 2009 12:28 PM (+FzLa)
If pron is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
Best of all, pron doesn't judge! It just shows teh goods without judgment on who watches, especially if you're a rotten ginger like I am!
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 23, 2009 12:29 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Flavius Julius at December 23, 2009 12:29 PM (sCvPP)
I am aggrieved that Brittany Murphy actually managed to OD before Winehouse did. Talk about the long-shot.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 12:29 PM (Haq+B)
I've already posted this comment so many times in my head this year, I actually don't know where to start.
When my infant son audibly shits his diaper, I smile because I know he's giving me something better than you all have. I'm serious. His poo slices like a fucking hammer.
Posted by: shank at December 23, 2009 12:29 PM (pX+Dh)
Posted by: Kanye at December 23, 2009 12:30 PM (YCVBL)
Apparently you didn't read the fine print in your membership contract.
Posted by: krakatoa at December 23, 2009 12:30 PM (hQbvm)
I'm giving all my "nephews" a build-a-pedobear for Christmas this year, but only if they promise to believe that the North Pole is melting.
and a pocket "peel the banana" game too.
Posted by: Andrew Sullivan at December 23, 2009 12:30 PM (T1boi)
Posted by: Flavius Julius at December 23, 2009 12:32 PM (sCvPP)
Susan and Tim Sarandon just broke up. Awwww, ain't that a bitch. I hope he got his balls back from her before she drove off.
Posted by: Blazer at December 23, 2009 12:33 PM (+FzLa)
Don't forget the hide the sausage game for your sister in law.
Posted by: wrg at December 23, 2009 12:33 PM (7t+Ws)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 23, 2009 12:35 PM (muUqs)
Here are some of my Grievances.
1) People driving with the Handicap Placard dangling from the mirror, so they cant see while turning. (It says right on it- DO NOT DRIVE WHILE DISPLAYED)
b) People driving with their cigarettes hanging out of the car window in California, where we just had all those wild fires
Posted by: Say What? at December 23, 2009 12:35 PM (vwh8M)
If I could be granted just one Christmas wish, it would be for a wall-sized photo of a naked Sarah Palin on a bear skin rug in front of a raging fire. It would be signed by her saying, "Here's hoping that all your Christmas Wishes come true"
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 23, 2009 12:35 PM (Vu6sl)
"Susan and Tim Sarandon just broke up. Awwww, ain't that a bitch. I hope he got his balls back from her before she drove off."
Judging by his choice of mate, he should actually have his balls revoked. Someone who could actually use them deserves a set more than he does. I'm thinking Hillary, but she's already got Bill's. Maybe Sarah, but she doesn't need them. Can we find us a ball-less vet?
Posted by: shank at December 23, 2009 12:36 PM (pX+Dh)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 23, 2009 12:38 PM (6USny)
Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 23, 2009 12:39 PM (SqAkN)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 23, 2009 12:39 PM (6USny)
No shit, those assholes split up? I hope a chill wind is blowing up his ass now.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 04:34 PM (Haq+B)
Either,
A: One of them found religion
B: One of them turned conservative
or
C: Susan started to get that "old people" smell
Posted by: Blazer at December 23, 2009 12:39 PM (+FzLa)
77 "More cheerleader pics, please!"
I'm sick of the incessant sexism. Where the hell are the shirtless pics of studly Marines and Scots in kilts??? Well , where the hell are they????
(wherestherum, back me up here!)
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 23, 2009 12:39 PM (cniXs)
Posted by: shank at December 23, 2009 12:40 PM (pX+Dh)
Not cheerleaders. We want to see some beefy manly men.
(
Posted by: Intrepid at December 23, 2009 12:41 PM (92zkk)
Posted by: St. Agnostic at December 23, 2009 12:45 PM (gbCNS)
Posted by: Kanye at December 23, 2009 12:46 PM (YCVBL)
Posted by: lauraw at December 23, 2009 12:46 PM (bhCYy)
Posted by: TheGarbone at December 23, 2009 12:47 PM (wtW+z)
Posted by: Andrew Sullivan (apology to be supplied at a later time) at December 23, 2009 12:48 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: TheGarbone at December 23, 2009 12:48 PM (wtW+z)
Not cheerleaders. We want to see some beefy manly men.
(
Posted by: Intrepid at December 23, 2009 04:41 PM (92zkk)
Posted by: ask and ye shall receive at December 23, 2009 12:49 PM (Vu6sl)
184.give us some XY drool-worthy shots too!
I need tiny url lessons. the last time i tried to post a linky pixie spanked me, and not in a good way.
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 23, 2009 12:49 PM (cniXs)
I had a lot of grievances to post, but then heard that the First Couple of Smug broke up....and I was actually happy for a moment.
Damn you guys!
Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at December 23, 2009 12:49 PM (KWhJd)
Tell us how much you want it. BUNK.
Posted by: INCITEmarsh at December 23, 2009 12:50 PM (f3AuC)
Posted by: chicagodudewhotrades at December 23, 2009 12:52 PM (PiGrH)
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 23, 2009 12:52 PM (cniXs)
If I could be granted just one Christmas wish, it would be for a wall-sized photo of a naked Sarah Palin on a bear skin rug in front of a raging fire. It would be signed by her saying, "Here's hoping that all your Christmas Wishes come true"
Yes, please. Plus she's wearing her glasses and a couple of liberals are the logs in the fireplace.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 23, 2009 12:53 PM (P33XN)
That was great, but I got all excited then really disappointed. I thought it was a link to Amazon. I had my credit card out and everything! Darn it!
Posted by: Y-not at December 23, 2009 12:53 PM (sey23)
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 23, 2009 12:54 PM (cniXs)
Posted by: April at December 23, 2009 12:54 PM (b0THY)
Completely safe for work. Nothing is showing.
And how do you know he's ghey? Met him at a bar recently?
Posted by: Y-not at December 23, 2009 12:55 PM (sey23)
Posted by: eddiebear at December 23, 2009 12:55 PM (2+7dF)
Oh yeah, that's my grievance--too much hating on the best team in the NFL around here. I have no idea why you people prefer goat-fucking cheaters. Seriously.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 23, 2009 12:58 PM (6USny)
Met him at a bar recently?
More likely turned down by him at a bar recently.
Kiss my ass, you've confused me with one of the Michigan posters apparently.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 23, 2009 12:59 PM (Haq+B)
213 Kiss my ass, you've confused me with one of the Michigan posters apparently.
What? You're not from Long Beach??????
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 23, 2009 01:01 PM (cniXs)
Posted by: ®Dß®€W€® at December 23, 2009 01:01 PM (WZIRt)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 23, 2009 01:06 PM (6USny)
Maurice Strong was a slime ball from the Trudeau era. When the Liberals tried to nationalize the oil patch, it put 100k Albertans out of work. Ole hands in the till, Strong got a cool million for the purchase of three overpriced oil companies. It was all taxpayer money.
Oil for Food was a Strong idea. Two Liberal prime ministers got away with millions. Strong, was now a UN bigshot and became a spokesidiot for Glowbull Worming. I keep saying he's gonna get caught, but it never happens.
Randolph the brown nosed reindeer trained with Rudolph. Idiotic questions, idiotic statements - a real clutz. One Xmas eve,he was positined behind Rudoph, so as to keep him out of trouble. Rudolph made a quick left and Randolph went straight ahead. Thus the moniker.
Merry Xmas.
Posted by: chicocano at December 23, 2009 01:08 PM (2n5cq)
Posted by: Bosk at December 23, 2009 01:19 PM (pUO5u)
Posting on and reading this blog in 2009 has been just like the holacoust.
Maybe just like it without the ovens and maybe AoSHQ was more humorous, other than that just like it.
Merry Christmas Morons!
Posted by: robtr at December 23, 2009 01:19 PM (fwSHf)
Posted by: DSkinner at December 23, 2009 01:19 PM (xCZBf)
@212 Posted by: St. Agnostic at December 23, 2009 04:59 PM (gbCNS) -
Those were perfect. And remeinded me of that old "cross your heart" commercial.
Posted by: teej at December 23, 2009 01:21 PM (QdUKm)
Posted by: GregInSeattle at December 23, 2009 04:19 PM
We are all the ghey now.
Posted by: MPFS, Elf Sized Fish Stick at December 23, 2009 01:34 PM (iYbLN)
Posted by: randomguy at December 23, 2009 01:40 PM (mtAmx)
And dammit, this is a piss-poor grievance compared to grievances of soldiers' wives who have to go to the stupid Cub Scout meetings for months and months AND have to figure out how to help their Cub Scouts make a Pinewood Derby car because their husbands are stuck in Afghanistan waiting around for The Won to decide what he wants to do there, but it's the best I've got.
Posted by: Peony Moss at December 23, 2009 01:42 PM (dv/nc)
RD...what in the world??
'Cinnamon buns?'
Yeah, the female Manning. Stay with it. Watch the moves, the clothes. She has that klassy thing about her.
Posted by: ®Dß®€W€® at December 23, 2009 01:43 PM (WZIRt)
Posted by: karenm at December 23, 2009 01:48 PM (n5ruu)
Posted by: DSkinner at December 23, 2009 01:52 PM (xCZBf)
Posted by: karenm at December 23, 2009 01:52 PM (n5ruu)
AH-HAHHH!!! I got you now you racist bastards!!11!!
Wait till Mr Johnson gets this smoking gun!!111!!11!!!
Posted by: Kilgroe Trout at December 23, 2009 01:59 PM (sYxEE)
Let's see.
2009; In a nutshell.
My daughter lost her job and moved back home.
Severe and sudden heart failure which damned near led to death but instead lead to an otherwise healthy 43 year having a bi-ventricular pacemaker/ICD implanted.
The diagnosis of my mother's alzheimers.
Placed my mother in a nursing home (while recovering from heart failure)
The diagnosis of a massive cancer in my mother's abdomen.
The screwing I took at work from my new boss.
Betrayal by my best friend and co-worker which actually led to an HR incident
And, finally, the death of my mother from liver failure.
Let's throw some financial difficulties into the mix and well...Yeah. It's been a pissy fucking year.
I would say my allotment of bad times has been paid in full but that seems too much like wishing someone else would have their share and, well, I don't think I could wish that on anyone.
So, Happy Festivus, morons.
Don't cross me, or I swear, I'll pass on my back juju to you.
Posted by: jmflynny at December 23, 2009 02:03 PM (tpWHm)
Posted by: St. Joan of Agnostic at December 23, 2009 02:04 PM (gbCNS)
A positive first, I'm home from my family visit and thanks to copious quantities of alcohol I survived it.
My grievances include the Seattle Seahawks, whomever put saltpeter in the water in Seattle, taking my shoes off at security and stepping in a puddle of wet, the word "funemployment", the fact the media is still spinning how wonderful the US is under Obama when it's nothing but bullshit, people who go overboard trying to save the environment, and my sister's perfect wrap jobs on presents.
Oh, and the big one, nobody I know sends Christmas cards anymore and that's a damn shame, so curse you Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media sites that have ruined the chance to open your physical mailbox and see a letter or card amongst the bills and junk mail.
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 23, 2009 02:12 PM (RZ8pf)
210 HeatherRadish:
You lie ! If I ever fucked a goat I assure you it would have ended up pregnant. No videotape = didn't happen.
Posted by: Tom Brady at December 23, 2009 02:17 PM (rPDD/)
jmflynny @236
sorry about the crappy year; mine wasn't great, but not as bad as yours. At least you didn't have the heart failure after the passage of ObamaCare...as currently evidenced by your living and breathing
Hoping for the best (for you and the rest of us) in 2010
Posted by: the Butcher at December 23, 2009 02:20 PM (8g9qq)
Posted by: Washington at December 23, 2009 03:21 PM (MMC8r)
Heres to a much, much happier 2010 for jmflynny. My sympathies to you. That's one tough year you had.
Posted by: Who Knows at December 23, 2009 03:28 PM (7FgWm)
Thank you, Butcher and Whow Knows.
The funny thing is, I can see blessings in so much of what happened.
My mom had 24 hour care in her final months and met a man at the nursing home and had daily companionship even when we couldn't be there. And, knowing that she was dying allowed us to say those things we'd wanted to say and to let go of the anger so that we could truly love her these past few months and weeks.
My heart failure occurred at the time my daughter lost her job which meant she was by my side, and my mother's, each and every day throughout my recovery. She traveled about 60-80 miles each day between hospitals where my mother and I were located. She couldn't have done that were she employed full-time.
As for the work situation, I now know that what happened was best because a promotion would not have allowed the flexibility I've had in spending time with my mother.
Another thing happened which can only be described as my own little miracle from God. I was determined to be with her and holding her hand when she passed and I was. From Sunday morning until Thursday morning when she passed, I slept only four hours...on Monday afternoon. Other than that, I never went to sleep. When I became so tired I could barely stand it, I would suddenly have a burst of energy and would be fine for hours. Sure, I know it was adrenaline, but I accept that adrenaline rush as my own personal miracle.
Butcher, I hope your 2010 is better than your 2009.
Thanks again.
Posted by: jmflynny at December 23, 2009 04:32 PM (tpWHm)
Did someone say boys?
Posted by: zombie michael jackson at December 23, 2009 04:25 PM (cniXs)\
How is Michael Jackson like caviar? He may be black or he may be white but either way he comes on little crackers.
Posted by: WalrusRex at December 23, 2009 04:44 PM (EaU28)
Posted by: kbdabear at December 23, 2009 04:50 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: Zoltan at December 23, 2009 05:26 PM (0/azW)
Posted by: I Need A Beer at December 23, 2009 06:17 PM (Tot+h)
Posted by: Zorachus at December 23, 2009 07:16 PM (qc/CQ)
Posted by: ®Dß®€W€® at December 23, 2009 09:04 PM (srNIL)
Posted by: Zorachus at December 23, 2009 11:16 PM (qc/)
Hey, I hear she's better in bed now than she used to be.
Posted by: Greg at December 23, 2009 10:37 PM (Cta0m)
Posted by: Joanna at December 24, 2009 04:08 AM (7ydzD)
Posted by: ipw533 at December 26, 2009 08:17 AM (rRpf3)
Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top
64 queries taking 0.2883 seconds, 374 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.
*drags aluminum pole out of crawlspace
Posted by: lauraw at December 23, 2009 11:28 AM (bhCYy)