December 24, 2009
— Open Blog Many of you know about the cute little PR activity that the US military provides the children of the world every Christmas --- the NORAD Santa Tracker:
Tracking Santa starts with the NORAD radar system called the North Warning System. This powerful radar system consists of 47 installations strung across the northern border of North America. On Christmas Eve, NORAD monitors the radar systems continuously for indications that Santa Claus has left the North Pole.
Well, I hope someone at NORAD is watching the real radars today:
Russia says it successfully tested a long-range SS-18 missile on Thursday.The missile - called an RS-20 Voyevoda in Russia - was fired from Orenburg in central Russia and hit targets in Kamchatka, in the far east, the Ria Novosti news agency reported.
With the NATO designation "Satan," the SS-18 is the heaviest ICBM the Russian Strategic Rocket Forces have ever fielded, able to throw 10 nuclear warheads clear across the planet.
Below the fold is video of Satan showering American children with Multiple Independently Targetable Re-Entry Vehicles Presents. Merry Christmas!
Posted by: Open Blog at
06:43 AM
| Comments (136)
Post contains 198 words, total size 2 kb.
Posted by: eman at December 24, 2009 06:46 AM (ttigb)
Kamchatka?! Those f*ckers are trying to break into North America and reduce my annual income for the continent while seizing all of Asia for themselves.
Posted by: andycanuck playing RISK® at December 24, 2009 06:46 AM (2qU2d)
Posted by: eman at December 24, 2009 06:50 AM (ttigb)
Posted by: Jean at December 24, 2009 06:50 AM (FeoGL)
Posted by: profligatewaste at December 24, 2009 06:51 AM (b3rrc)
Posted by: Beagle at December 24, 2009 06:52 AM (sOtz/)
Posted by: the real joe at December 24, 2009 06:53 AM (SUYSs)
Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at December 24, 2009 06:54 AM (outBY)
Posted by: Jean at December 24, 2009 06:55 AM (FeoGL)
This is a political test, not a technical one.
I hope Barry and his team can muster up a handful of neurons and gray cells to ponder the situation.
Posted by: Tushar at December 24, 2009 06:55 AM (PGSXB)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 06:55 AM (QECjC)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 06:58 AM (QECjC)
2012 baby, 2012!
Posted by: GarandFan at December 24, 2009 06:58 AM (ZQBnQ)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 06:59 AM (QECjC)
Not to worry! We have...
S M A R T D I P L O M A C Y!
Now with B+ power.
May not be effective against people who really want to kill you. May cause death if overused – in fact if used at all. Consult a conservative for actually effective ways of deterring murderous thugs.
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at December 24, 2009 07:00 AM (r1h5M)
If the rooskies want to nuke Detroit I'm all for it.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 24, 2009 10:52 AM (Haq+B)
Why waste any missiles on that dump? Detroit already looks like its been nuked at least twenty times already.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 07:01 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: CDR M at December 24, 2009 07:01 AM (cvmTR)
If the rooskies want to nuke Detroit I'm all for it.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 24, 2009 10:52 AM (Haq+B)
Why waste any missiles on that dump? Detroit already looks like its been nuked at least twenty times already.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 11:01 AM (+FzLa)
Yeah, but a large portion of the indigenous population of the 52% Tribe is still there.
Posted by: CDR M at December 24, 2009 07:02 AM (cvmTR)
Posted by: Jean at December 24, 2009 07:04 AM (FeoGL)
Posted by: Pezzydent Earflaps McBaritone at December 24, 2009 07:06 AM (AZGON)
If Wee Wee had any bawlz at all we'd have 'tested' our ABM systems.
'Oops another missile failure there, Ivan. Too badsky.'
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 24, 2009 07:06 AM (Haq+B)
Iran? Maybe so. But I see Chavez stuffing his pants with a few too.
Ahhh! What a wonderfully productive year it's been here in the Good Old, eh?
Posted by: drillanwr at December 24, 2009 07:09 AM (1kwr2)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 24, 2009 07:12 AM (2qU2d)
And if the radiation level's OK
I'll go out with you and see all the new
Mutations on New Year's Day
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 24, 2009 07:14 AM (6USny)
Posted by: InCali at December 24, 2009 07:15 AM (yjcfT)
Posted by: Hussein the Plumber at December 24, 2009 07:15 AM (r1h5M)
Posted by: rplat at December 24, 2009 07:16 AM (G1ArL)
In the end, there will be only chaos.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 24, 2009 07:19 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: Crusty at December 24, 2009 07:20 AM (GvSpB)
Posted by: curious at December 24, 2009 07:22 AM (p302b)
HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!11!
Spend a bunch of money on the real-world implementation, Ivan. Let us know how it works out...
Posted by: FR at December 24, 2009 07:22 AM (AIyLg)
Posted by: danesdkold at December 24, 2009 07:23 AM (Cd1LY)
Posted by: TomG at December 24, 2009 07:25 AM (dQbr9)
Posted by: Trident II at December 24, 2009 07:26 AM (WYkJI)
So basically, it's (a LGM-118A or...) an MX "Peacekeaper" missile, except the ex-KGB- lead Russians got it and NATO doesn't.
Great.
Posted by: Christoph at December 24, 2009 07:26 AM (0fq7b)
I think Israel might care more about Russia (due to Iran) in the short term, but to answer your question, this time Russia won't be invading for the glory of socialism.
No, this time, they'll set up a good old fashioned Czarist dictatorship with Putin at the helm.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at December 24, 2009 07:30 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: Darth Randall at December 24, 2009 07:30 AM (oLULt)
Add to this the fact that in recent polls more and more Russians view old uncle Josef as a highly revered figure and look fondly back on the days of the USSR as superpower,a disturbing picture is starting to taking shape.
Posted by: bulwark at December 24, 2009 07:31 AM (jvrmc)
Posted by: Barbarian at December 24, 2009 07:34 AM (EL+OC)
C'mon! The left would not be upset about the video targeting the US. They may, however, be upset that it is nicknamed "Satan". That Christianist terminology is doubleplusungood and should be replaced with another scary word. I suggest "Tea Bagger".
Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at December 24, 2009 07:35 AM (KWhJd)
Now would be a particularly useful time for Sarah Palin to point out that you can see Russia from Alaska...
I'm fairly certain the Russians still haven't forgiven us for getting Alaska, and Mr. diplomat's blunder in his speech about that probably still has them smarting. It isn't that much farther from Kamchatka to Alaska, according to Bing about 920 miles at the closest point.
Just saying...
Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 24, 2009 07:35 AM (RZ8pf)
The Satan missile ? They should have called it the Darwin missile.
Just for that, the creationist Russians are now banned.
I bid them adieu.
Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 24, 2009 07:39 AM (+FzLa)
Crusty
Invade the U.S. no, but lay claim to billions of dollars in Artic natural resources becoming more accessible on the door step of North America yes.
Posted by: bulwark at December 24, 2009 07:41 AM (jvrmc)
Governing is hard.
Posted by: the real joe at December 24, 2009 07:44 AM (SUYSs)
Posted by: teej at December 24, 2009 07:46 AM (c459z)
However, everybody knows the Russki's are the evil empire...and an empire requires real negotiations from atop a real military to deal with...with 40 years of successful examples to look back upon.
Our very own Red Diaper Baby can't even treat them like his bestest commie buddies either. They're more like a mafia nation anymore.
Posted by: trainer at December 24, 2009 07:47 AM (yCWYQ)
Posted by: 48%er at December 24, 2009 07:48 AM (QOE7k)
The Won is in Hawaii eating his waffle and polishing his pecs for the next drooling photo op by the lapdog media. He can't be bothered now.
Governing is hard.
Posted by: the real joe at December 24, 2009 11:44 AM (SUYSs)
He'll be enjoying that waffle at a 28,000 dollar a week lavish villa paid for by the American taxpayer.
Lenin is in hell right now smiling.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 07:49 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: willow at December 24, 2009 07:49 AM (7FgWm)
Posted by: torabora at December 24, 2009 07:49 AM (vnPu8)
Nothing is normal anymore.
BTW, that video scares the crap out of me.
Posted by: curious at December 24, 2009 07:51 AM (p302b)
Invade the U.S. no, but lay claim to billions of dollars in Artic natural resources becoming more accessible on the door step of North America yes.
Posted by: bulwark
Understood, but the line between the free world and the socialist world collapsed this morning. I'm supposed to cheer for one socialist dictatorship over another? The Kenyan or the Russian? It's all the same shit after today.
Posted by: Crusty at December 24, 2009 07:53 AM (GvSpB)
Please God, let it be San Francisco.
Posted by: Barbarian at December 24, 2009 07:54 AM (EL+OC)
Posted by: torabora at December 24, 2009 07:55 AM (vnPu8)
66
Nope they are in freakin Hawaii in a 28 thousand dollar a day villa. I hope it shows them on the news partying it up while the country gets hit by another snowstorm and millions of people are scrambling around looking for work. Great visuals really.
Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 24, 2009 07:58 AM (SqAkN)
Hey I just thought of something....if the godless heathens actually launch on us is the Kenyan prick in the White House gonna retaliate or get on TeeVee and wring his hands about the need to negotiate surrender?
Posted by: torabora at December 24, 2009 11:55 AM (vnPu
Hopefully the first one will fly directly up his ass so we can be spared the capitulating and white flag waving.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 07:58 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 07:58 AM (QECjC)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 08:00 AM (QECjC)
Pretty much.
After the 'epic fail' of their next-gen wonder weapon over Norway [the Bulava], I figured they'd go out of their way to remind the rest of the planet that they've still 'got it'.
Just think of it as 'waving your dick around', except with an ICBM.
That being said, the Russkies have a lot of catching up to do.
The Iranians are holding the top spot with that gig.
Posted by: CPT. Charles at December 24, 2009 08:01 AM (lYKj1)
No. Tora,
His Commentary might go something like this, " we are greatly saddened by this development, We realize , however, that we have inflamed anger all over the world and accept the consequences, In our compassionate and fair response, we will send you the rest of our gdp, not already negotiated to the U.N and other countries.
Thank you for giving us a moment to reflect on our National guilt.
Posted by: willow at December 24, 2009 08:01 AM (7FgWm)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 24, 2009 08:04 AM (Vu6sl)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 24, 2009 08:05 AM (xGIqT)
Posted by: ParisParamus at December 24, 2009 08:05 AM (Hv1Cx)
Posted by: torabora at December 24, 2009 11:55 AM (vnPu
That's a rhetorical question right? You don't really think jugears has the balls to fight back do you?
Posted by: Fritz the Cat at December 24, 2009 08:06 AM (vxmW1)
Posted by: ParisParamus at December 24, 2009 08:07 AM (Hv1Cx)
Nope they are in freakin Hawaii in a 28 thousand dollar a day villa. I hope it shows them on the news partying it up while the country gets hit by another snowstorm and millions of people are scrambling around looking for work. Great visuals really.
Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 24, 2009 11:58 AM (SqAkN)
The message they're sending is pretty loud and clear. They think they are the f'cking king and queen of America. you can't get any more tone deaf than these two. At least George and Laura spent their vacations either in Texas or in Maine at places that were purchased through hard work and private money.
If the Bush's would have tried this shit at a time like this when Americans are hurting the bleating in the media and on the left would have been deafening.
If the GOP does retake Congress they should fight tooth and nail to remove Generalisimo Ogabe from office on corruption charges.
America won't survive another three years with him at the helm.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 08:07 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 24, 2009 08:08 AM (xGIqT)
Sign then Drive Sales Event Christmas Special.
Satan SS-18
Available at and Iran dealership near you.
Posted by: Russia with love at December 24, 2009 08:09 AM (7NcLZ)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 24, 2009 08:12 AM (Vu6sl)
Oh, we got change this morning. Fascist change. !#$%^&*!
If the Bush's would have tried this shit at a time like this when Americans are hurting the bleating in the media and on the left would have been deafening.
They bleated quite a bit when the unemployment rate was 5.5%. !#$%^&*!
Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 24, 2009 08:14 AM (6USny)
All I'm getting out of Africa is 419 spam. Posted by: Empire of Jeff
I was thinking about Monaco, actually. No income taxes, no welfare-suckers and over-breeders living off decent people. How hard is it to learn French, anyway?
Posted by: Crusty at December 24, 2009 08:14 AM (GvSpB)
Posted by: Moe Howard at December 24, 2009 08:16 AM (LgY0I)
What do you mean, "real" radars Cuffy?
You trying to say sumpin bout Santa?
Posted by: pajama momma at December 24, 2009 08:23 AM (275r1)
You have to appreciate the Russians sense of humor here. On an historical day when Lord General Ogabe gets his landmark healthcare bill rammed up everyones asses and the media is in orgasmic rapture, the Russians send a nice little Christmas message to Washington and the American people:
"Oh no you don't mother f'ckers, WE"RE.THE.REAL.COMMUNISTS and don't you f'cking forget it !"
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 08:23 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: DM at December 24, 2009 08:24 AM (P9vin)
Posted by: Sparky at December 24, 2009 08:38 AM (mXY2a)
Posted by: sifty at December 24, 2009 08:39 AM (gyoAZ)
The Russians have had MIRVs for decades. As far as our stockpile is concerned... when you're making treaties limiting the number of warheads, it makes more sense to have ten missiles with one warhead than one missile with ten.
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 24, 2009 08:41 AM (LtIsn)
Help me out here...
I thought about giving Ovomit a nutcracker for Christmas, but the mrs. reminded me that he doesn't have any nuts for it. I'm dying here... help me out. Deathcare is about to be inacted.
Posted by: Santa X. Claus at December 24, 2009 08:45 AM (gbCNS)
Posted by: CoolCzech at December 24, 2009 08:47 AM (QECjC)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at December 24, 2009 08:48 AM (xGIqT)
Posted by: curious at December 24, 2009 08:50 AM (p302b)
Posted by: ExUrbanKevin at December 24, 2009 08:50 AM (toqoX)
Posted by: OregonMuse at December 24, 2009 08:52 AM (89RxY)
Posted by: garrett at December 24, 2009 08:53 AM (QtCx2)
Posted by: arhooley at December 24, 2009 08:53 AM (er1oz)
Posted by: Empire of Jeff never gets tired of the Yakov Smirnoff jokes at December 24, 2009 08:54 AM (xGIqT)
Posted by: Sean at December 24, 2009 08:59 AM (yDadR)
Posted by: Comrade Chairman MaObama at December 24, 2009 09:00 AM (o6Yv2)
Posted by: Santa X. Claus at December 24, 2009 09:01 AM (gbCNS)
A friend of mine whose parent lives in a pretty rural state just said in an email that the bill takes away the visitng nurse thing? She said it is going to be tough cause her dad needs the care couple of times a week. She's a lib and the email is entitled "my God, they're going to kill him". Great, on Christmas people are hearing this kind of stuff.
Posted by: curious at December 24, 2009 12:50 PM (p302b)
Thats probably a great big thank you to the SEIU. Join our union or quit doing homecare.
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 09:01 AM (+FzLa)
Posted by: B+nachronda at December 24, 2009 09:04 AM (LD+ZJ)
Posted by: TheQuietMan at December 24, 2009 09:05 AM (nqWrq)
Posted by: Pants Corporal Barry Obama at December 24, 2009 09:11 AM (FcR7P)
Posted by: Alear at December 24, 2009 09:13 AM (tmLi3)
If they did, how could you tell?
unusually warm weather for this time of year?
Lions,Tigers and Redwings announce they will play nothing but road games for the next fifty seasons?
Posted by: bulwark at December 24, 2009 09:17 AM (jvrmc)
Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at December 24, 2009 09:28 AM (a5ljo)
Posted by: Cybrludite at December 24, 2009 09:36 AM (X4ZmA)
Posted by: Cybrludite at December 24, 2009 09:38 AM (X4ZmA)
Posted by: 48%er at December 24, 2009 10:01 AM (QOE7k)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 24, 2009 10:03 AM (6YRgD)
The rooskies don't have Dial-a-Warhead©? Backwards ass savages. Thought everybody could do that.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 24, 2009 10:04 AM (u/dAo)
If they did, how could you tell?
Posted by: OregonMuse
------------------------------
It would look a lot cleaner.
Posted by: moron # 234615 at December 24, 2009 10:13 AM (p1s9n)
Do a google map search for >> detroit charlevoix and joseph campau <<
or >> scott st and chene <<
Desolation
Even better, put the little man on the road and go around the block
Posted by: moron # 24615 at December 24, 2009 10:23 AM (p1s9n)
So why don't they just march into Alaska and take it? Obama wouldn't do anything about it. Then I could see the Russians opening up ANWR, extracting the oil, and then selling it to us. The irony would be so hilarious it might make me cry.
Posted by: InCali at December 24, 2009 10:29 AM (yjcfT)
So why don't they just march into Alaska and take it? Obama wouldn't do anything about it.
Talk about pulling the secession trigger.
Posted by: Dang Straights at December 24, 2009 10:43 AM (u/dAo)
So basically, it's (a LGM-118A or...) an MX "Peacekeaper" missile, except the ex-KGB- lead Russians got it and NATO doesn't.
Great.
Actually, it's a much-bigger missile than the Peacekeeper, with larger warheads (a typical load would be ten 500 kiloton-750kT warheads, with a throw weight of a bit over 19,000 pounds, compared to the Peacekeeper's ten 300kT warheads, with a throw weight of 8,800 pounds).
Another version of the Satan replaces the MIRVed warhead with a single 20-megaton warhead, suitable for deep bunker-busting or wide-area EMP inducement.
Posted by: steveegg at December 24, 2009 11:02 AM (UGOcx)
A true Russian Love Story coming to a theater this Christmas: Dr. Zhivbamo.
No. It'll be a remake of Reds.
Posted by: andycanuck at December 24, 2009 11:41 AM (2qU2d)
Posted by: TXMarko at December 24, 2009 12:57 PM (j9eJa)
Posted by: Mo2do at December 24, 2009 01:00 PM (3hki9)
A paper I read says only 25%-35% are actually ready for launch at any given time. I think strategypage had some similar numbers.
Posted by: Ace's liver at December 24, 2009 03:03 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: TXMarko at December 24, 2009 03:48 PM (j9eJa)
"NYCK"?
It's the finest engineering by the Russian Stooges!
Spread out, you retards. It's cyrillic for 'pusk' or launch.
Posted by: Moe Howardski at December 24, 2009 03:52 PM (SHKl9)
I also think it may be cheaper to launch them than to dismantle then piece by piece....
They've actually used a few as space launch vehicles instead of junking them. Funny how easy it is for 1960s ballistic missile technology to have dual use... {looks at 2010s Iran}.
Posted by: Cuffy Meigs at December 24, 2009 04:36 PM (outBY)
Posted by: UGrev at December 24, 2009 04:38 PM (Kpd/N)
@98: "...I'd rather stick around and polish up a few 'Cruise missles'."
I can help you with that.....
Posted by: Tom Cruise's "missile" at December 24, 2009 04:46 PM (8MuSQ)
Posted by: xg_网页设计 at December 27, 2009 11:30 PM (FLs+z)
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Sweet. How long before they sell 'em to Iran ?
Posted by: Blazer at December 24, 2009 06:44 AM (+FzLa)