1 In honor of and in homage to my infinite wisdom, I believe I may decide to decide. Sometime. Present!

2 He can't win politically either way on this one.  The libs want him to retreat, but if he does retreat then that feeds the meme he is weak on national security.  Another few points off the old approval rating either way I expect.

3 I predict that Obama will decide tonight that perhaps he needs to make a decision on whether there is anything to decide. This could go on for months......

4 Uhh, Barry? You remember our little arrangement, right?

5 I think that he's going to the meeting to announce the need to have a meeting about having a meeting about making a decision. You can't go off half-cocked like that cowboy Bush, right?

6 He may decide tonight, but the announcement won't be made until (coincidently) after he accepts his fuckin' peace prize.

7 All snark aside--I hope he gets this one right.

8 still say that I will be surprised if there is a decision before New Years

9 He can't win but we can lose if he doesn't man up and do the right thing here. I pray that this POS borrows his sack from Michelle for the night and does ONE right thing before we kick his sorry ass out of our White House.

10 Well, maybe he's given McChrystal what he wants. If so, more power to him. Plus it will have the added benefit of alienating his left wing.

11 Obama reminds me of the executive in the opening scene of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" who can't decide on which advertising pitch to approve.

12
"All snark aside--I hope he gets this one right."

Me, too. Honestly. And I also hope that I'll win the lottery some day.

13 This would explain why David Obey (D-WI) is screaming that, if the troops are deployed to Afghanistan, he'll walk into the House and demand a massive raise in taxes on high income-earners.

Obey's going out of his way to prove a theory I had that the Dems are treating Afghanistan as Vietnam by trying to half-ass the war in order to fund social projects at home, with Obey specifically mentioning LBJ's Great Society program in the process.

14 11 Obama reminds me of the executive in the opening scene of "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" who can't decide on which advertising pitch to approve.

Obama looks like a guy who does more ball-handling than Larry Bird.

15 Did you ever have one of those days when you feel like one of James Bonds' martinis? 

16 The over/under is set at 30k.  Place your bets, gentlemen.

17 15 Did you ever have one of those days when you feel like one of James Bonds' martinis? 

Posted by: Barak's Magic 8 Ball at November 23, 2009 04:06 PM (wOGfT)

Why do Magic 8 Balls only come in the color black???

18

Right now I am sitting in my office playing with an oragami fold my daughter made me. It seems if I pick a number, then a color, and then another number, while flipping the oragami in specific ways, it can tell me the future and help me make a decision. It can also tell me if the American people still like like me.

 

19 Its probably just to make it look like he actually gives a shit. In reality they'll probably just be playing football (you know, the little folded triangular paper thingys)

20

Obama will decide not to decide.

See? Making decisions is easy.

21 Reminds me of a story about an indecisive general in the field during WWII... wanted a special latrine built, just for him, with heat, lights, and reading materials... and with two holes. When it was completed, there was only *one* hole and the general chewed out the sgt. in charge of construction, who said, "Begging the general's pardon, I thought that if there were two holes there, by the time the general decided which one to use, you would've shit your drawers!" Ah, The One... he is mysterious in his ways, eh?

22 Rumor has it that he asked the wookie if he could  have use of his balls tonight.

23 Hopefully there will be more guys in uniform then Adm Mullen alone in this meeting.

24 No actually I just found out I will marry one of the Jonas brothers.

25 19 Its probably just to make it look like he actually gives a shit. In reality they'll probably just be playing football (you know, the little folded triangular paper thingys)

Posted by: Berserker at November 23, 2009 04:10 PM (gWHrG)

They scheduled this "official" meeting for tonight so they could watch Monday Night Football and charge the beer and pizza on the American taxpayer's credit card.

26 I hope that he isn't just " throwing more troops" at the problem. I really hope that there is more of a plan than just that.

27 I have a feeling that what we're going to get is just enough of a commitment to draw things out, but not enough of one to actually, you know, win. There'll be a lot of hoopla about more troops, but the big questions remain: how many troops, in what concentrations, staged in what area, with what objectives? If the bulk of the troops are Marines and Army infantry, then it means something. If the troops are "advisors" and support troops, then it means fuck-all. If the troops are staged in or near the hot-spots (like Helmand), it means something. If they're staged near the big population centers with orders to stay put, it doesn't mean much.

Obama is not going to come right out and say that he's ceded the countryside to the Taliban and drug-lords; but it will be implicit in what he does. Pakistan will be watching closely to see what the Americans do because they're not going to keep sticking their necks out if the Americans are just going to blow town in a few months.

28 They scheduled this "official" meeting for tonight so they could watch Monday Night Football and charge the beer and pizza on the American taxpayer's credit card.

I remember pizza night in the White House.  Ah, good times.  Good-good times.

29

25k troops to be announced Thanksgiving day during the Cowboys game to maximize his teleprompter wonderfulness.

Place your bets, place your bets - Al Czervik

30 Obama will split every one of our active and reserve troops down the middle, sending the right half to Afghanistan and the left half back to the US.

31 The reports are he is going to put the numbers 10,000, 20,000, 30,000, 40,000 and the word "Retreat" on ping pong balls and get an answer along the lines of how the NBA does its Draft Lottery.

If Patrick Ewing is sent to A-Stan, we'll know the fix was in.

Again.

32

I hope he's actually going to follow one of the plans that was submitted to him, and not pick and choose various parts from each of them like it was a military smorgasboard.

33 I SAID PRESENT ALREADY DAMMIT, NOW WHERE THE HELL DID MALIA GO WITH MY PACKAGE OF KOOLS??!?!?!?!

34

"As I've said before*

Ahhh. Uhhh. Mmmm. Huh."**

 

*and let me be perfectly clear.

** I really don't care about this distracting issue

35 34 I SAID PRESENT ALREADY DAMMIT, NOW WHERE THE HELL DID MALIA GO WITH MY PACKAGE OF KOOLS??!?!?!?!

Posted by: Barack Obama at November 23, 2009 04:19 PM (ngD76)

The question is, does Barry smoke after sex???

36

I have reached a decision on Afghanistan.

Effective immediately, before returning fire (since initiating combat is strictly forbidden), all U.S. troops must bow at at least a 45-degree angle for at least 5 seconds to show their respect for their opponents.  This is display of respect is required for each round of ammunition, mortar, missile, etc. and must be performed before the round is fired.

This war would have been won by now, if my predecessor had not followed his imperialist, war-mongering, cowboy ways.

37 Yeah, I bet if we could listen in on that meeting we would here stuff like this-

"here is the globe, can you point to Afghanistan?

"Gooood"

"Now this is a tank, it has great big metal treads like your toy tonka bulldozer, and men sit inside them"


......and on and on

38 Does he smoke after sex? I don't know, I never looked.

39 I hear they're warming up the Presidential Decision Dartboard even now...

40 Rest assured:  With my expertise in foreign policy, the world is in good hands.

41 I doubt there'll be a decision tonight.  I haven't heard a single thing about prepping his cult for the announcement over their blackberrys.

42 The dificulty arrises in determining the number of troops to send and then still lose "properly".

43 The question is, does Barry smoke after sex???

yes

44

After tonight, all you suckas are gonna realize that Nobel was rightfully mine! Mine!

45 What Obama is going to ship to Afghanistan is 40,000 Miranda Rights Warning cards. That is all.

46 No no, this meeting is to coordinate his decision on whether to pardon Thanksgiving turkeys and how to make it about himself.

47

What Obama needs to do if he really wanted to win would be:

1) Send in the troops that the commanders on the ground want

2) Lift the current ROE that hamstring our troops

3) Withdraw the media since what we need to do is not for the fainthearted and would be better left to the history books 10 or 20 years down the road.

 

48 Barry will announce that he needs another couple of weeks to make a decision. Probably no decision until after Kwanzaa.

49 Obama likes anniversaries, e.g., screwing Poland on missile defense 70 years after the Soviets jumped them. Today is the 46th anniversary of LBJ's first full day in office. Obama is now the official micromanager of the Afghan Conflict. Good times ahead. Notice to American personnel: Don't wait for the last helicopter out, the photograph will be rather unflattering.

50 Probably no decision until after Kwanzaa. Eid

51 Another amazing coincidence: the leaked story about how we are surrendering to the Taliban, but just a few areas not the whole thingy!

52

Pardoning Thanksgiving Turkeys! That's it! We'll send 40,000 turkeys over there and feed both all of 'em! Allies and enemies. Then we'll get 'em all together for a Kum Bay Ah session around the campfire. Get the cameras ready. If this works out like I hope I'll get ANOTHER Nobel Prize for this one!

53 What to bet he flips a coin?

54

55 What to bet he flips a coin?

Not a chance...Coin flips are an Ipod ap and Barry's a Blackberry man....

55 Nope.. not tonight and not until after he gets the Nobel.  He wouldn't want to embarrass his Swedish hosts (or, is it Norwegian? I always forget) by taking a Peace prize so soon after escalating a war.

Ooooh wait!  Maybe he'll come up with a good euphemism for adding troops!  He can't use "Surge" because that's a Bush word.. lesse now.. How about "Enhancement".. yeah!  A Troop Enhancement!

56 as early as tonight

You mean a minimum of two months after it should have happened.

57 So this impressively complex man is going to tear down his emotional moat and make a decision?

Oh my. I'm starting to swoon again.

58

Don't be silly. We're going to put out the word at 10:30 p.m. this Wednesday night.

Let's see all those C- and D-list Thanksgiving weekend talk show guests make something out of it!

59

I mean, we won't have Russert's dad's cogent analysis, but there's bound to be a little lighthearted A-stan banter from James Carville & Mary Matalin.

60 yeah Bubblehead needs to get this off his desk- State Dinner Tuesday night, and he wants to get his freak on uninterrupted

61

Probably no decision until after Kwanzaa.

 

 

yeah Bunky and Michele (OMG have you seen her arms?) gotta take the kids out to buy the White House Kwanzaa tree first

62 i want my sockpuppet

63

Decisions, decisions?

The pizza chef from Kansas City or dinner and a Broadway play. Is Scareforce One ready to go? Can't decide.

Hey, i know.

Present!

64 So shall we look for the white smoke to come out of Olbermann's ears?

If Rahm sees his shadow do we get 6 more weeks of indecision?

65 "Tonight, tonight,
Won't be just any night,
Tonight there will be no morning star.
Tonight, tonight, I'll see my love tonight.
And for us, stars will stop where they are.
Today
The minutes seem like hours,
The hours go so slowly,
And still the sky is light . . .
Oh moon, grow bright,
And make this endless day endless night! "

66 12
"All snark aside--I hope he gets this one right."

"Me, too. Honestly. And I also hope that I'll win the lottery some day."

And I still hope for Pony every Christmas. I will tell you late December how that works out this year.

67 If I was president, and was widely seen as a class A pussy, and my hand-picked general asked me for 40,000 troops, I would send 60,000 just to make me look tough.

Now, if I was president and didn't realize that I was widely viewed as a class A pussy, I would do what the real president is doing.

68

Drudge linked a story, supposedly from the Arab press, that Eikenberry has been negotiating with the Taliban to cede control to them in exchange for not attacking our FOBs. Probably not true, but with the current political climate, it would not really surprise me if it happens.

The worst case keeps getting worser.  The best case still looks mediocre.  And now, eight months after he should have made a decision, everyone is elated that maybe he will make a decision, sometime, maybe.

I'm wondering if the Pres'ent got pissed at McChrystal for going public with his plan, trying to force a decision, and is now delaying the decision just to show who's boss.  This would be a real crime.  I can't think of any logical explanation for the indecision. 

This whole situation is really depressing.  I have friends over there.

69

Leaked Transcript:

POTUS: "Um thanks everybody for coming tonight, uh, Joe, why don't you, uh start"

VEEP: "Got it Chief...see I was reading about this Alexander fella, Macedonian fella, Macedonia back then was kind of like Delaware and Greece was Pennsylvania see, so I got ol' Alex beat 'cause I'm from Delaware and Pennsylvania and Alexander kicked ass all over Afghanistan so its not really the graveyard of empires, it can be done see and we'll do it but the real danger, listen the real danger is India, Chief, see, Alexander ran into trouble in India, can't trust 'em, so big, nukes, Hu doesn't like 'em, Bush did though so, Chief, I think we gotta invade India, 'cause that's where the real danger is, and since little Joey Biden's from Delaware and Pennsylvania and Alexander was only from Macedonia not Greece, we got a what, say, what Bobdo you think Bob, 70 percent chance of taking out India? It's a risk we gotta take, right Bob?"

SECDEF: "Excuse me, sir, invade India?"

NSC: "Oo-baise-ing-rah!!!"

POTUS: "India um...yeah didn't Bush like India?"

VEEP: "Damn Skippy, Chief. Loved 'em. Biggest Democracy on earth, natural ally and all that happy horseshit. All it did was piss off the Chinese."

SECDEF: "Sir, about Gen McChrystal's recommendation"

ARI's BROTHER: "Fuck that asshole!!!! Bring him up again and you go back to College Station where you can fuck Poppy in the men's room of the presidential library!!!!!!"

POTUS: "Correct. Any mention of military advice will go through Gen Jones. We shouldn't need reminding of that by now. Right, General?"

NSC: "Oo-baise-ing-rah, sir!!!"

POTUS: "Back to India. They have nukes?"

VEEP: "Ah, but Chief, we have the good Taliban!!! It'll be just like the Soviets in the '80s, all that Charlie Wilson crap. We'll give 'em a bunch of Stingers, some Humvees and a shitload of porn and send them good Taliban down there into India, the dotheads won't know what hit 'em! It's call psy-ops, Chief."

SECDEF: "Are we talking about using the Taliban to invade India..."

NSC: "Oo-baise-ing-rah!!"

POTUS: "I like it. Solves a lot of problems. Makes me look tough. Fucks Bush over. Gets Afghanistan off the front pages. We'll get all those call center jobs back. Unemployment will falll by 5 % with those alone. You did it again, Joe."

VEEP: "Nothing to it, Chief. And postwar, dig this, all India is divided into three parts..."

 

70 Lemme guess...Obambis' decision on Afghanistan banana stand will be this...Our forces will surrender unconditionally to the enemy. That seems to be on par with the One, don't it?

71 burberry scarf | CD Keys

72 This isn't the uh Afghanistan War I knew.