Evening and Merry Christmas. I can't believe I made it here this early.

Evening all. I'm watching National Lampoon Christmas Vacation and drinking myself under the table.

Posted by: Blazer at December 25, 2009 10:15 PM (t72+4)

But we got to see Moon Bloodgood's lovely tits in Salvation

The Russian demotivational posters (or at least the 80% that I could understand) are very good with some excellent ones. Soccer--the manliest sport. Fuck people, save cats. They didn't pet him enough and he began killing.... are just hilarious. Oh, and it looks like even the Russians think Obama is incompetent. I didn't get the one with the British cops (although I couldn't read the circled part except for the "Police" part at the top) that wasn't linked to the OMOH Russian "Militia" police ones.

With our family, the adults (and me) don't buy gifts for each other as a rule, but my conservative brother bought me the Deadwood boxed set. Woo-hoo!

Ate too much, Drank too much, Spent too much, Maybe not in that order. Anywho, 2010 cant be worse than 2009 was, right?

#22 Thanks, helofixer. Now the irony of the caption makes sense too, so that one has just moved over into the column for the excellent ones.

Re. the Delta attempted bomber, the White House has admitted it was an "attempted terror attack" and the Nigerian has been named. Oh, and it looks like the f*cker burned his thigh area balls setting off the explosive/incendiary. Another passenger tackling the POS was burned too (it sounded like by the powder burning powder on the asshole's balls). So, let's see if Obama gives him a U.S. civil trial or sends him to Gitmo, or similar. F*cker.

My favorite part of Christmas Vacation is the squirrel. Damn that was funny.

2010 is a lovely number so I have high hopes.

Ate too much, Drank too much, Spent too much, Maybe not in that order. Anywho, 2010 cant be worse than 2009 was, right?

Posted by: Merry ChristmACE at December 25, 2009 10:35 PM (WkmkQ)

It could be. Those money grubbing doctors could put you under and steal your legs and tonsils

Maybe your FBF is growing a little disenchanted with the One, WTR? (Not that she'd probably change any of her major political views, but not trusting the One is at least a start.)

Irony alert. Steam engine train saves stranded electric train passengers in England.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 10:44 PM (NFIi5)

I have been drinking absinthe so I could have time traveled

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 10:44 PM (RZ8pf)

Sassy, my son was fairly excited I guess. He believes in Santa for at least one more year because I gave him something under the guise of "Santa" that I said I'd never buy him so now he's convinced there is a Santa.

Sassy, my son was fairly excited I guess. He believes in Santa for at least one more year because I gave him something under the guise of "Santa" that I said I'd never buy him so now he's convinced there is a Santa.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 10:47 PM (RZ8pf)

that's good, you never get that illusion back once it is shattered.

Sadly it shattered for me when I saw my dad dressed in his Santa suit fucking mom

Posted by: K~Bob at December 25, 2009 10:50 PM (9b6FB)

Sadly it shattered for me when I saw my dad dressed in his Santa suit fucking mom

Posted by: fartbubble at December 25, 2009 10:49 PM (cBeTr)

That wasn't your Dad.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 10:51 PM (NFIi5)

yep, Fourth grade, woke up early and went to wake up the folks only to walk in on that. Ran into the room and started swinging for the fences. Dad had to grab both arms and lift me up and started shouting. It was the last Christmas he wore the suit

Sadly it shattered for me when I saw my dad dressed in his Santa suit fucking mom

Posted by: fartbubble at December 25, 2009 10:49 PM (cBeTr)

That wasn't your Dad.

Posted by: Some Dude in a Santa Suit at December 25, 2009 10:53 PM (9b6FB)

merry christmas all from me and mine to you and yours

btw, how you guys can live in sub-70 degree weather is insane

Posted by: Blazer at December 25, 2009 10:52 PM (t72+4)

Evly one comedian.

merry christmas all from me and mine to you and yours

btw, how you guys can live in sub-70 degree weather is insane

Posted by: freezingmyskinnyassoffjoe at December 25, 2009 10:55 PM (FphyK)

anything over 75 and I spaz out

i've been in to the Chimay,

My leftie brother, who at least has the saving grace of not being P.C. or enviro-freakish, gave me a Chimay gift pack of three bottles and a beer glass.

We went to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas Dinner. 

Did you have "Chinese turkey" duck and did they cut the head off at the table?

i'm in bolingbrook right now and its trying its damnest to snow and i think its like -70 with a windchill of -160

i love my hometown but this winter cold is bullshit

the old neighborhood has changed to super yuppy and halsted is gaytown

i mean GAY!!!!

We went to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas Dinner.

Did you have "Chinese turkey" duck and did they cut the head off at the table?

Heh, well, I did have the duck. It was "whole duck with mixed seafood and greens." It came all chopped up, so no beheading, ceremonial or otherwise. I split it with "Numbah Two Son," who, I'm certain, would have enjoyed any sort of spectacle. We aren't big on squeamishness in our fambly.

i'm in bolingbrook right now and its trying its damnest to snow and i think its like -70 with a windchill of -160

i love my hometown but this winter cold is bullshit

the old neighborhood has changed to super yuppy and halsted is gaytown

i mean GAY!!!!

Posted by: freezingmyskinnyassoffjoe at December 25, 2009 11:03 PM (FphyK)

not too far from me. It's a piddly 23 with 10 windchill up here in Kenosha. Wish we could get some snow tonight, would love to go ride around on the snowmobile this weekend

I was at a bar once around Christmas and the bartender had a rap/gangsta version of Christmas carols playing--including a song about how "I saw mommy banging Santa Claus".

Oh, and I had dim sum for lunch this noon, WTR. Not alot of selection though as I was alone, so just har gow; sui mai; I know it as "bean curd sheet rolls" of chicken and veggies wrapped in bean curd sheets in a thin gravy; a shrimp and veggies dumpling sort of like the half-moon or shark's fin shape ones but completely round; and sticky rice in lotus leaf (the two small ones kind and not the one big one or the type with the brine shrimp and Chinese sausage chunks served in the little clear bowl).

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:06 PM (RZ8pf)

JEWS DID 12/25!!!

IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB BY RAHM EMANUEL AND DAVID AXELROD!!!

NIGERIA IS PRACTICALLY OVERFLOWING WITH OIL!!!

THE WHITE HOUSE IS JUST TRYING TO DISTRACT US FROM THEIR FAILED ECONOMIC POLICIES AND HEALTH CARE PLAN!!!

0BAMA NEEDED A BOOST IN THE POLLS, SO HIS MINIONS CONCOCTED A FALSE-FLAG OPERATION!!!

/s

My last post was what I got my 5yo for Christmas. It was beautiful to see him open the box, open the bolt, and ask me to help in with the big words in the manual. The rear knob on the back of the bolt is what cocks the tricker assembly. I'll have to lighten it up for him. Even though he's on the school wrestling team.

"Dad, since it's cold and rainy, we might not get to shoot it for a few days. Maybe we should put some gun oil in it before you put it in your safe".

Then I took him down to the safe, and showed him the spot I had cleared for it inside. After he gently set it in he turned w/o a word and gave me the best hug in the world! I am blessed.

I do those science-y tricks at parties before I pull my guitar out to play.

Did the song involve a chicken, Hcarles?

87  i moved away in 85, i knew it changed but damn, it looks like a village people video now

89   Wish we could get some snow tonight

dude!!!!  stop that

91  we're at my sisters house getting blasted on tequila tommorrow we'll be in lincolnwood for a few days

also, me and the crazy sister are thinking about driving about devon for a while raising hell

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 25, 2009 11:09 PM (CnrLG)

nice starter rifle

Also my 70 yr old aunt just got engaged, but my cousin and his wife do NOT like her fiance.

Is his name Charles Montgomery Burns, by any chance, WTR?

And I believe the /s indicates that it was, indeed, a troll sockpuppet being well played.

89   Wish we could get some snow tonight

dude!!!!  stop that

Posted by: freezingmyskinnyassoffjoe at December 25, 2009 11:11 PM (FphyK)

but I want to go snowmobiling tomorrow

Posted by: wherestherum at December 25, 2009 11:11 PM (gofDd)

[I'll be back in a few minutes; I've got to put out the trash--we've delayed garbage pickup tomorrow from our usual Friday pickup.]

117  maybe but i want to go snorkling, maybe surf for a while

i'm the guest here, the weather should accomadate

i do want to go ice skating in lincoln park if they still have that

sassy?  any idea?

Your aunt's name wouldn't happen to be Susan Sarandon by any chance would it?
But I will LOL at that before going.

Oh, and my mother just told me that she couldn't figure out why she had one scratch 'n' win lottery ticket left over (I didn't scratch mine as I was out of the room at dessert) so she gave it to a niece who won $5 on it!

>^(

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:18 PM (NFIi5)

drink it through a stirrer straw

Sadly, this vodka and soda is not getting me drunk enough.

high tolerance is a sure sign of a northside boozehag

Sadly, this vodka and soda is not getting me drunk enough.

high tolerance is a sure sign of a northside boozehag

Posted by: freezingmyskinnyassoffjoe at December 25, 2009 11:21 PM (FphyK)

fartbubble at December 25, 2009 11:12 PM

Blazer at December 25, 2009 11:14 PM

Ya know, just when you think they never listen, you think they look at you as a an old fart...they pull this. The jaw drop was nice, the smile he gave me after he finally has a rifle he can shoulder were all great. But the SAFETY rules I taught him were the highlight of my life. I was gonna say day or year. Hopefully it was me who taught him, but his older brother (9) is just as gun discipined. And Grandpa teaching Hunter Ed in NEPa for 39 years helps me and my boys.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Ya can't bottle, or cook that shit on a spoon! 

If I weren't drunk I'd be appalled at how my tolerance for alcohol has gone up over the past year. Luckily I'm drunk.

I've switched to dessert drinks now. I am drinking a pink drink, cream, tequila, cream de cacao and grenadine.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:20 PM (NFIi5)

I await the return of Montgomery Wards at Lakehurst Mall

actually, its on irving and california across the street from horner park (i did little league there for years)

by lincoln park, back in the day they used to freeze over the baseball field between addison and belmont by the field house between the tennis courts

we would go there all the time

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:26 PM (NFIi5)

Never seen a mall go to shit as fast as Lakehurst did

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Ya can't bottle, or cook that shit on a spoon! 

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 25, 2009 11:23 PM (CnrLG)

but I want to go snowmobiling tomorrow...

I'm about 1 hour south of Binghamton NY. Can't really justify a boat, Harley and S-mobile.

But any man who wants to burn some fossil fuels in the cold? Gaia Bless you. Ride like the wind, and crack it open past the arugala commune. Set some home alarms off for me, will ya! 

I bought one of those expensive bars at Crate and Barrel. ItÂ’s now full of booze. But never what I need. Oh well. IÂ’m not sure the tequila was such a good idea.

Dudes, post 100 was a parody of how leftists responded to 9/11. You know, the "truthers?"

One thing I didn't add was the Michael Moore "Green activists must have done 9/11 because Bush dumped Kyoto/Green activists must have done 12/25 because 0bama dropped the ball in Copenhagen" line.

Remember: Liberalism is a mental disorder.

ugggh, i may have to drive over to belmont harbor and walk around to see the changes

hell, i have to go to mt carmel anyway so i guess i'll just walk for a while

bbl guys, i hear my name and asshole being combined in the dining room, may as well see what story from my youth is being discussed

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:29 PM (RZ8pf)

if it's got the mealworm, tequila is always a good idea......at least till you start beating the shit out of the people your hanging with

I have a question;

If the terrorist had succeeded and the plane had blown up and smashed into part of Detroit, would anybody on the ground have noticed any difference?

Yaeh, the pricks would have stold more Fed $$$ for Monica Conyers "congeniality treatment".

Posted by: kbdabear at December 25, 2009 11:29 PM (sYxEE)

Posted by: K~Bob at December 25, 2009 11:33 PM (9b6FB)

but that's the thing with Absinthe, there is a cheap shit that it pointless to buy or your looking at starting around the $140 mark

"If the terrorist had succeeded and the plane had blown up and smashed into part of Detroit, would anybody on the ground have noticed any difference?"

Depends on where in metro Detroit it crashed. The suburbs? Yes. Greektown? Yes. The Ren Cen? Yes.

But the rest of downtown Detroit? No, probably not much (additional) damage on the ground. Maybe a few dead gang members.

Posted by: LULZ at December 25, 2009 11:30 PM (ADbI4)

Well, you were right about 12/25. We Jews did it because we don't know how light fire crackers.

What's a pink lady, maybe i should try it.

Merry Christmas chemjeff!!!!!!!

Posted by: mystry at December 25, 2009 11:36 PM (kmgIE)

make gin & tonics and drink it with your pinky up.

A case of gin? Geez, that's a lot of gin.

I got two bottles of wine for Christmas but I'm drinking the hard stuff instead.

Drudge has a headline:  "Woman knocks down Pope."

So I started playing with it:

"Pope knocks up woman."

  Meh.  Nothing new there, and at least it's a hetero thing,

BUT:

"Woman knocks up Pope".

Whoa!  Now there's a headline from the future!

Posted by: kbdabear at December 25, 2009 11:34 PM (sYxEE)

Geez Blazer that joke is as old as the hills.

In case no one else has posted it yet this Holiday Season, here ya go...

http://tiny.cc/IyWbj

Hey Blazer, Merry Christmas, here's that sweater puppy photo I keep teasing you about.

http://tinypic.com/r/2ho8w7k/6

Brunch was delicious, bacon and pastries and cookies and salmon and cream cheese and eggs and potatoes. Yummy!!

Posted by: kbdabear at December 25, 2009 11:42 PM (sYxEE)

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:40 PM (NFIi5)

Let's see... hung with la familia, which was a lot of fun, went to an in-laws and had a small feast with about a dozen other non-celebrators. She cooked a goose and it was great. Did a lot of science reading and did some geology.

Took it as a good day to enjoy the peace and quiet. The day was blue and beautiful out here in West Texas.

Sorry to hear that you didn't have a fun day, Sassy. It certainly is a strange day if you're not getting all Christmas-y. 

Geez Blazer that joke is as old as the hills.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:44 PM (RZ8pf)

Want to know the real reason that bomb didn't detonate?

He used AC Delco wires

No Lucas wiring. The lighting "Prince of Darkness"Inside joke on us assholes who drove MG's and Triumphs..or anything motorized and English really.

The real reason Brits drink warm beer? They have Lucas Refrigorators!

Hey Blazer, Merry Christmas, here's that sweater puppy photo I keep teasing you about.

http://tinypic.com/r/2ho8w7k/6

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:47 PM (RZ8pf)

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:53 PM (NFIi5)

Was it the goose image?

But the SAFETY rules I taught him were the highlight of my life.

And anent Blazer's comment, too, and yet the libs' and MSM's (but I repeat myself) stereotype of a "gun nut" is someone reckless who has no idea about "gun safety", that the Left believes (and not thinks, obviously) to be an oxymoron.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 25, 2009 11:56 PM (NFIi5)

Well, the food stores are open again. Geh fressen!

IÂ’ve stopped drinking now.

BTW, did Marlee Matalin burn her other ear when the same idiot phoned back five minutes later?

Mystry, thatÂ’s a lot of gin for someone who doesnÂ’t like gin. I realized I didnÂ’t have any sloe gin when one of the cocktail recipes called for it. Now I want some.

Why does Marlee Matalin need two hands to masturbate?

She uses one hand to moan

That's what she "said."

Thanks for the compliments about my puppies by the way, morons, you do a girl good when sheÂ’s feeling blue.

IÂ’ve stopped drinking now.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:58 PM (RZ8pf)

BTW, there's a whole bunch of sweater puppies here.

ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 25, 2009 11:47 PM

I would like to buy you a home of your choice. We'll just do the Honeymoon thing. We'll skip the whole marraige/divorce part.

Thanks for the compliments about my puppies by the way, morons, you do a girl good when sheÂ’s feeling blue.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 12:01 AM (RZ8pf)

Well, I'd like to see the whole pacakage, if those puppies are any indication.  but forgive me if I'm being to forward.

Because of AoSHQ, everytime I hear that Chimpmunks movie commercial I hear; "Alvin and the Chipmunks - The Squeakhole"

I've been misreading it that way alot, too.

Well to be honest my boobs are my best feature. But, I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch so I have that going for me too.

Well to be honest my boobs are my best feature. But, I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch so I have that going for me too.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 12:09 AM (RZ8pf)

OK I'm in lust. and will now not be able to concentrate for the rest of evening.

Oh, and re. the Nigerian Quaker, the White House admits it was an "attempted terror attack"; and the f*cker burned his "upper thigh" so I'm hoping he burned his own nuts off. Oh, and apparently Obama has been notified. (I guess so he can have the Presidential Pardon ready for when he returns from his latest vacation.)

This site just brings out the misreading moron in all of us.

Blessed be the man of ACE, for all his Headlines r belong two ar reading of the three times to make shoor they ar nott being uv teh ghey pron.

Mystry, donÂ’t we live in the same state?

Well to be honest my boobs are my best feature. But, I can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch so I have that going for me too.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 12:09 AM (RZ8pf)

ready for when he returns from his latest vacation

The President, that is, not the Nigerian.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 12:10 AM (NFIi5)

It isn't a requirement, but it is a resume enhancer.

ROFL

Oh, and re. the Nigerian Quaker, the White House admits it was an "attempted terror attack"; and the f*cker burned his "upper thigh" so I'm hoping he burned his own nuts off. Oh, and apparently Obama has been notified. (I guess so he can have the Presidential Pardon ready for when he returns from his latest vacation.)

Posted by: andycanuck at December 26, 2009 12:10 AM (2qU2d)

I guess he didn't read up on his culture etiquette before he came over to the states. On Christmas you're supposed to roast chestnuts on an open fire not YOUR NUTS.

I made homemade pizza for dinner tonight. Now IÂ’m too full to eat the cookies that my friend sent home in a care package.

DonÂ’t kill me Sassypants, but I know how to make dolmades.

Oh, well never mind then mystry, I guess IÂ’ll have to take a rain check on the sloe gin.

I wish I could too, but I donÂ’t know where to get grape leaves at this hourÂ…

Is this "Ball Bomber" barrys relative?

BTW...I got dibs on the term "ball Bomber". Unles of course one of you morons mentioned it earlier.

hey, if the MSDEM can call Ried the shoe bomber..we can call him the "Ball Bomber"

Is this "Ball Bomber" barrys relative?

BTW...I got dibs on the term "ball Bomber". Unles of course one of you morons mentioned it earlier.

hey, if the MSDEM can call Ried the shoe bomber..we can call him the "Ball Bomber"

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 12:22 AM (CnrLG)

I would kill for some awesome dolmades now..

No, but we had Spanicopita and Bacclava. But I'm w/you. Would have preferred  dolmades.

Sassypants is drunk! WeÂ’ve brought her over to the dark side!

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 12:28 AM (NFIi5)

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 12:31 AM (NFIi5)

Sex talk, huh? Sweet!

The dickless detonator.

Well, what do i tell everyone at our next Hot Pocket Festival this spring? You spoilsport.

Oh, and in honour of Copenhagen, we tried out Polar Bear Panini's, much to the crowd's delight.

Mean Cuisine, indeed.

Cowgirl.

Speaking of sex talk,  if you type "58008" on your calculator and turn it upsidedown, it spells "BOOBS."

Ace taught me that.

/smirks like Barney Fyfe.

Oh, the irony. The laptop battery spammer posting on the "real" Dickless Detonator Detainee thread. I wonder if the Sackless Wonder's battery went dead at a critical time?

We even got a call from Athens during dinner at 4pm EST. My wifes' cousin, Georgia,  got married. We were so impressed with this  career, Greek Military man that swept her off her feet. A true gentleman. Reminded me of Furio from the Sopranos. Always on guard, doing a 360 check at all times. Swimming, driving etc. Always on alert, but able to explain things to my 2&6 yo without talking down to them. Passing the heritage along, and instilling pride in their forefathers.  One of the few Pro-USA people in Greece at the time. He handed me 2 keys when we landed. One to his Mini Cooper-S, and the other to his Honda Trans-Alps. A total stranger. But they rely on the word of family. He was told I was a trusted man. Ok, somebody must have lied!

Wish I could be there. Truly a great Christmas to share w/you morons!

Al Qaeda is one of those extremist pro-life groups, right?

Yes, led by Osama Benedict Laden. That's why DHS pays so much attention to 90-year-old, Chinese, Roman Catholic nuns.

Posted by: koopy at December 26, 2009 12:42 AM (XllG0)

!st rule of ONT sex talk...there is no ONT sex talk.

Fuck it ACE is down by the railyard, drunk and smelling of carp........I'll/we''ll (sure) hit the kitty if he gets pissed.

Legs on shoulders, is that wheelbarrow?

At this point I donÂ’t care how much my lifeclock gets dinged, it would be a relief to be called to carousel.

Anyone try the "Armenian Hammock"? Or the "Full Nelsonette"?

How about the "Reverse Strawman"? Need real straw for that. Preferably in a barn.

My gf's fave is the "She-Ra Goes on a Pervy Bender" with extra Mr. Bubble. For her pleasure.

I did legs over the guy's shoulders once. He's still in a coma.

And posting RINO items at HotAir.

Posted by: Mr Pink at December 26, 2009 12:47 AM (V/EYZ)

Olympia would have sold out for an all expenses paid trip to the drive-in and a good throttling in the back seat of a Model-T. Stuff she missed out on in her youth.

Gumball Rally? What we all need to rent is "STUNT ROCK." Seriously.

Whenever the moronettes get shitfaced, the threads get more interesting.

Posted by: todler at December 26, 2009 12:59 AM (m/DBY)

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 12:58 AM (CnrLG)

The Rammin' Ball Run

IÂ’m still here. IÂ’m watching stupid Lifetime Television for Women movies and checking my e-mail incessantly for a mail that will never come.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 01:00 AM (NFIi5)

She was sharing quite a lot tonight.

IÂ’ve switched to water. No sense drinking any more it isnÂ’t helping.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 01:05 AM (NFIi5)

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 01:05 AM (RZ8pf)

Having a rough all-by-yourself night, PGiS?

"Froggie style is best."

You'll like hoggie style if you know what's good for you.

Posted by: K~Bob at December 26, 2009 01:08 AM (9b6FB)

Well, I was hoping for a Christmas miracle. But, it didnÂ’t happen.

Santa did bring me a Cylon ring though, that was pretty cool. (Yes I am Santa, shut the fuck up.)

We have a Lowes and Home Depot 1/2 mile from each other in Scranton. My buddy and I are trying to get fake D-Licenses and credit cards to rent their trucks for 45 minutes. Their rates(?)

 We plan to set up a course with cones in the vacant Sears parking lot and race. Ceowd $$ won't be much, but we should make out ok on the betting. Since we'll have full coverage, the last 5 minutes will be a demo derby.

Thoughts?

"Hoggie style is AP's favorite !"

That would be hogger style.

We have a Lowes and Home Depot 1/2 mile from each other in Scranton. My buddy and I are trying to get fake D-Licenses and credit cards to rent their trucks for 45 minutes. Their rates(?)

 We plan to set up a course with cones in the vacant Sears parking lot and race. Ceowd $$ won't be much, but we should make out ok on the betting. Since we'll have full coverage, the last 5 minutes will be a demo derby.

Thoughts?

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 01:11 AM (CnrLG)

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 01:10 AM (gofDd)

Don't friggin' start.  You'll look like us!

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 01:14 AM (NFIi5)

Jesus, Sassy. You must have the emptiest refrigerator of any Jewish woman that I have ever known...

And Meeeghan's is Hoagie Style.

Froggie Style > Fozzie Style

Fonzie Style > Ponzi Style

Rocky Style > Takagi Style

Water isnÂ’t as much fun to drink as booze.

Posted by: Sassypants at December 26, 2009 01:18 AM (NFIi5)

It does bring out repressed passions... like sweater puppies and chrome bumpers.

The way i look at it is, if they don't write, they're not worth getting upset over.

I know, but no matter how many times I tell myself that, my heart just wonÂ’t listen.

WTR, if you give running two weeks, it becomes fun and easy.

My boobs bounce too much when I run.

He's had a rough life for being 6, but he's a pretty good kid. Hope to cheer him up a bit.

That shit just blows. My boys beat the shit out of each other. But if somebody else hits one of them, the hutch boys go to town.

Try to ask him what he likes, his interests. Guide him through the learning process of what means the most to him. No matter if he is a rotten little prick, or a pin cushion, you, you can make a difference. He will thank you someday. Guarenteed. Hell I'd bet ya a free year of AoS o it.

(why do I always fuck it up at the end?)

So you want a sandwich but not a Hot Pocket? I got Pizza Rolls and Push-Ups with scrambled egg in 'em.

Lunchables, too. And chicharrones con salsa valentino, mi amigos.

Posted by: Christoph at December 26, 2009 01:29 AM (0fq7b)

Thanks!

We do pride ourselves on our above-averageness. And our masturbation techniques.

Good night Sassypants, pleasant dreams!!!! And I hope you donÂ’t have a hangover in the morning!!!

Tie me down cowboy and show me a good time!

Tie me down cowboy and show me a good time!

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 01:35 AM (RZ8pf)

You're on, sweater puppy girl. Lock and load.

My boobs bounce too much when I run

....Just when I think I can take the icepak off my broken ankle, up to the crotch it goes.

Sports talk, Z Ryan, keep up.
Posted by: Christoph

Tie me down cowboy and show me a good time!  Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle

How'd I miss that?

Posted by: Christoph at December 26, 2009 01:29 AM (0fq7b)

Tie me down cowboy and show me a good time!

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 01:35 AM (RZ8pf)

Well I'm not a cowboy, but i do know LOTS of knots.  

:p

Take a Vicodin, light some Nag Champa, put on some Christopher Cross, and ease into some Tai Chi.

There. Isn't that a whole lot easier?

Plus there are no indoor pools except at the YMCA.

What? Fresh urine outta be warm enough fer ya

Posted by: eman at December 26, 2009 01:40 AM (7dmFm)

good call.

Very good call sir.

Slow motion.

"Chariots of Fire" theme in background.

Does that work for man-boobs too?

Somebody hungry?

First you fry up some bacon, nice and crispy. Take the bacon out and put it to the side for now. Into the hot bacon grease you put some sliced onions. On top of that you add the thin-sliced potatoes. Do not mix/stir yet, let the onions carmelize at the bottom of the pan. Cook covered. While the potatoes and onions fry you chop up the crispy bacon into little bits, and add them when the potatoes are near done. Mix now. Add a couple pats of butter. When the potatoes are done throw a generous heap of grated cheese on top. I like extra sharp cheddar. As soon as the cheese is melted slide the works into a bowl. Now fry up some eggs, sunny side up or over easy so after you put them on top of the bacon/potatoes/onions/cheese you can poke through the yokes and it runs down into the mix. Best served with a big mug of strong hot coffee. Most major cholersterol groups are properly represented.

Slow motion.

"Chariots of Fire" theme "Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult in background.

This Lifetime movie IÂ’m watching is dumb. I hate dumb movies. But, of course IÂ’m watching it until the end with the assumption that the dumb cocktail waitress will end up with the rich FBI agent since thatÂ’s the way life works in fantasy land.

Texas Jooo is my favorite Hebrew reader on the ONT. A toast to your tribe, that taught me paying retail is a sin!

I joke, I keed. Seiously, you always bring something good to the table. Damn glad to have ya. Now help us out with the other 79% of your wanderers

I know ya can only speak for yourself. An Irishman who don't drink and a Jew on Christmas. Hanging on a Conservative blog. Who'da thunk.

Posted by: mystry at December 26, 2009 01:47 AM (kmgIE)

When I stopped chucking the javelin and winning conference medals, I got laid a lot more, for some reason. Maybe lifting weights makes you stupid. Look at Ahnuld...

Eman, apparently so. ThatÂ’s the way it always works in the romance novels, the guys are FBI agents for the love of the job, they are independently wealthy otherwise.

Sure is nice out here in Hawaii, not like back there in the snow and cold.

It's good to be the king!

Undercover Christmas. And yep, the FBI agent ended up with the cocktail waitress.

I know ya can only speak for yourself. An Irishman who don't drink and a Jew on Christmas. Hanging on a Conservative blog. Who'da thunk.

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 01:52 AM (CnrLG)

Thanks. Not to disagree with you... but I dunno. If you can find me a conservative who is as hard-assed as Mark Levin, let me know. Except me. I'm just as hard-assed as he is.

FBI agent had to sequester the cocktail waitress until she could testify against her no good boyfriend of course.

Eman, apparently so. ThatÂ’s the way it always works in the romance novels, the guys are FBI agents for the love of the job, they are independently wealthy otherwise.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 01:54 AM (RZ8pf)

I'm sure that's also true of the guys at the Post Office.

Tyne Daley was in Undercover Christmas. Now itÂ’s a new movie with Julia Duffy and David Ogden Steers.

*Sigh* Y'all keep talkin' this exercise nonsense.

Look, two words: Richard. Simmons.

Rum, I love the “In Death” series!!! And I believe that’s what our future will be like too.

Now if I could just find my own Roarke!!!!

Well of course the FBI agent fell in love with her hook line and sinker.

Now if I could just find my own Roarke!!!!

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 26, 2009 02:06 AM (RZ8pf)

Yes, you always find a lot of worldly philosophers and architectural geniuses working in hellish marble quarries at minumu wage.

Roarke is one of the main characters in J.D. Robb’s “in death” series. He is Irish and a bazillionare that owns the universe.

Thanks. Not to disagree with you... but I dunno. If you can find me a conservative who is as hard-assed as Mark Levin, let me know. Except me. I'm just as hard-assed as he is.

Unfortunatley all the Jewish people in my 'burb are all Leftist, Prius driving snobs who shop at an "natural foods" store.. Of course they have the Benz MLK to drive 60 miles to ski on weekends. W/o snow

My only contact with a conservative Jew was the owner of a new/used tire shop. Rest be upon him,  and his tatooed forearm. He kept decent rubber on my cars during H.S. and college. I worked for him on the barter system. A very great man indeed. He would give anybody a chance to work for him. If he got screwed, he took it in stride, and admonished the scoundrel in frony of the crew. Taught shame and shunning. Nobody ever wanted that. A proper dressing down put the fear in ta' ya'. I very positive influence in my early life ndeed.

Actually mystry it is a mystery/crime series, set in the future. The main character is a police officer for the NYPD.

Actually mystry it is a mystery/crime series, set in the future. The main character is a police officer for the NYPD.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle

They say he brade runnah.

The fog is starting to dissipate....

Wrong.

Bad news: The fog is getting thicker...

Well, I didnÂ’t get what I truly wanted for Christmas so I guess IÂ’ll go to bed. It was fun hanging out here tonight, thanks for keeping my spirits up.

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 02:15 AM (CnrLG)

There's actually several Jews who post here, besides Sassy and myself. We're not as rare as you may think, disregarding the nutjobs in your suburb. Orthodox Jews (and most Israelis) tend to be rather politically conservative, and the Lubavischer Chassids loved Reagan, and called him "a real Jewish Goy".

Remember that Jews voted for Reagan in large numbers in 1984, when Jesse Jackson started his "Hymietown" bullshit, the stupid prick. I'm oilfield trash and have worked there all of my adult life. Halliburton sent me through college and to graduate school. That makes you conservative as hell.

I'm a member of the NRA, but kind of a bambi-lover, and I'm a social libertarian. Still, my views are very conservative.

Posted by: hutch1200 at December 26, 2009 02:37 AM (CnrLG)

Thanks (and the feeling's mutual), but I stopped slinging chain on a drilling rig floor as soon as I could (or before I killed my coworkers). College was a lot more pleasant, and geology was a lot more appealing. Plus there were a lot of very nice girls there. I had started working for Brown and Root as a pipeline welder when I initially dropped out of UT/Austin due to my girlfriends and lots of pot and not enough A's in my pre-med classes. My poor parents were heartbroken. Then I really scared them when I wound up in bumfuck Mississippi, dodging water mocassins on a pipeline crew as a welder. Then I went independent with my own truck-mounted Lincoln arc welder and B&R paid me a massive $18/hour, for 70+-hour weeks, way back in 1972. I was then trained by Halliburton (after I lost most of my night vision due to the arc welder) to run a frac truck. Then I got a full scholarship from Halliburton and returned to UT/Austin and became a geologist.

The quickest way for someone to get their ass kicked around me is to diss Halliburton. They saved my life.

Sorry to digress....

Posted by: Christoph at December 26, 2009 02:40 AM (0fq7b)

Perhaps I should say - not pro-Obama. many of the ex-pat Israelis tend to be weak-assed Tel Aviv libs who use their binational status to get out of Dodge.

T-Jew ..got into telecom in much the same way. Line man to plant coordinater.

Gotta go, lost a midget in the wrapping paper bags!

Posted by: mystry at December 26, 2009 02:53 AM (kmgIE)

That's the center (or "omphalos for you ancient Greek fans) of the Reform movement. My lovely wife made me get married in the Reform Temple, which I detested. Her family had been one of the founders of it here back in the 1880's, so I acquiesed. I hate those weak-ass liberal Reform fuckers and wanted to get married in the shul or even the Chabad out here in El Paso.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 03:03 AM (gofDd)

I am probably the only Jewish person in the world who has fallen in love with the writings of the Venerable Bede.

I loved Medieval and early Renaissance (Cimabue, Giotto, Masaccio) art as well. It is so peaceful.

Posted by: chemjeff at December 26, 2009 02:54 AM (Gk/wA)

It was William I apportioning and defining the ownership of land after the Norman Invasion to allow for taxation and for surveying. I've read it in bits and pieces, but it is really a ledger and not a fully readable text.

Posted by: mystry at December 26, 2009 03:18 AM (kmgIE)

I'm afraid that you're way off base, by around 800 years..

This is from my memory - Bede was a monk who lived in Northumberland in the 7th century and wrote the "Ecclesiatical History of Britain", in Latin, of course. He is considered the father of British history.

He also had the oldest extant Old English poem in the book (and the oldest with the author's name) - Caedmon's, I believe.

It is a wonderful book and often the only reference we have of the early history of Britain and the introduction of Christianity.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 03:17 AM (gofDd)

2 A;s ! You must have wowed that professor!

Caravaggio was quite popular back when I was in school. He led a wild and violent life (I recall that my professor back then compared him to Jim Morrison, who had just died of an overdose) and died in a bar fight, I believe. His works are amazing, like you said, with the black background and the staged foreground. David was a favorite of Napolean's. I've seen that great painting of his at the Met as well. I really love Rembrandt more, however, and the Met has the greatest collection of Rembrandts in the world.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 03:28 AM (gofDd)

You seemed to have been able to learn some wonderful things in a great department. I have forgotten so much of my dozens of science courses, but I will never forget the beautiful things that I learned in those subjects.

Bede especially intrigued me because he lived in a violent and hellish world, and yet was able to achieve true clarity of thought and to maintain his peaceful optimism.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 03:37 AM (gofDd)

And one of David's students got into a famous sexual scandal with Napolean's sister.

Posted by: mystry at December 26, 2009 03:45 AM (kmgIE)

Even though she was (very) far from a virgin, this guy almost killed her with his giant shlong. The court physicians inspected it and were all rather impressed. So they paid him off and sent him and his shlong packing.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 26, 2009 03:57 AM (gofDd)

Too bad that one about Catherine the Great wasn't true. We all wish it were..

Now all we have are dumb jocks getting hit over the head by Scandi whores with golf clubs. Yawn.

G'night Rum!

We have a Lowes and Home Depot 1/2 mile from each other in Scranton. My buddy and I are trying to get fake D-Licenses and credit cards to rent their trucks for 45 minutes. Their rates(?)

Gee. The thread hasn't been scrubbed? Looks like I've lost a bet.