Ace of Spades HQ

December 03, 2009

Scandi News: Man Fails in Lifelong Dream of Lactating
— Ace

Sweden. Where else.

The Swedish dad who's spent the last few months attempting to squeeze milk from his breasts has thrown in the towel, with nothing more than "sore breasts" to show for his efforts.
Student Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, said that male lactation "could prove very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage".

Child Welfare Services just emailed me to say male lactation could be very important for men's ability to have their children taken from that at an early stage.

...
His efforts, which involved "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals, were followed by a television crew...

Assuming he's not just punking the media: Some people take this "gender is just a state of mind" thing kind of literally, eh?

Why didn't he also endeavor to grow a detachable tail like a salamander? Maybe species is a state of mind too. Don't impose you speciesist categories on me, man.

Thanks to ArthurK.

Posted by: Ace at 10:46 AM | Comments (145)
Post contains 182 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Get Mrs. Woods to help out, I'll bet that scandi is a lactating you know what!

Posted by: Kemp at December 03, 2009 10:49 AM (2+9Yx)

2 Fruitbats can do it.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 03, 2009 10:49 AM (NtiET)

3
Jeez.

Posted by: Dang Straights at December 03, 2009 10:50 AM (Haq+B)

4 I don't know whats more shocking,the fact that the dude figured he could lactate or that it took him a couple of months to figure out he couldn't.

Posted by: bulwark at December 03, 2009 10:50 AM (jvrmc)

5 In a sane world, this guy would have been undergoing therapy, not being documented by a film crew.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at December 03, 2009 10:50 AM (ZJ/un)

6 He's doing something wrong. I've been watching trannies do it in porn for years.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at December 03, 2009 10:51 AM (DtTM9)

7 What an loser. Like this is really difficult? I've been lactating for about a year and a half now.

Posted by: Chrissie Matthews at December 03, 2009 10:52 AM (tWf3S)

These people produced the Vikings. I still can't make peace with that.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 03, 2009 10:52 AM (dQdrY)

9 "I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?"

Posted by: Brian at December 03, 2009 10:54 AM (BNlV7)

10 Scandi TV must be a frightening thing to behold.

Posted by: Triumph at December 03, 2009 10:55 AM (lDdA/)

11 The detachable tail thing has been done already.

That guy, Jared, from the Subway ads, did it when abusing fiber supplements to lose all that weight. He used to mix half of the big, economy-sized, ten-dollar jug of Metamucil into a two-liter bottle of water and chug it before bedtime.

On the morning following the first night he did this, he invented the five-dollar foot-long.

Posted by: MikeO at December 03, 2009 10:56 AM (Ce+tv)

12 Sullivan wept.

Posted by: toby928 at December 03, 2009 10:56 AM (PD1tk)

13 In a sane world, this guy would have been undergoing therapy, not being documented by a film crew.

He might have succeeded with the right hormone cocktail. (I'm not clicking on any of those reference links at work...). A nutjob completely ignorant of human physiology...didn't see that coming, did we...

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 03, 2009 10:56 AM (NtiET)

14 Wonder what the problem is... I've been having to do part-time nursemaid work since the Republicans made sure my last couple of films haven't done so hot.

Posted by: Michael Moore at December 03, 2009 10:57 AM (DtTM9)

"His efforts, which involved "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals, were followed by a television crew..."

I am sure that is what every fat man wants, a film crew present when he is playing with his man boobs.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 03, 2009 10:57 AM (SqAkN)

16 Whoa.

Posted by: Keanu Reeves at December 03, 2009 10:58 AM (ruzrP)

17
This is the kind of shit I'd expect from the Japanese.

^{They have pubic-hair transplants, you know.}

Posted by: Tareq and Michaele Salahi at December 03, 2009 10:58 AM (z37MR)

18 It's all Drudge's fault, for keeping that image of the "pregnant man" on his page for so long.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 03, 2009 10:58 AM (A46hP)

19 "The Swedish dad who's spent the last few months attempting to squeeze milk from his breasts has thrown in the towel, with nothing more than "sore breasts" to show for his efforts."

....snicker..snicker..snicker..SNORT!

Ok, that's just squirrel-slapping, mind-bogglingly funny.

Posted by: Intrepid at December 03, 2009 10:58 AM (92zkk)

20
Nobody told this guy about mammary glands?

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 03, 2009 10:59 AM (z37MR)

21 21 This is the kind of shit I'd expect from the Japanese.

^{They have pubic-hair transplants, you know.}Don't forget the little water slides that let women pee standing up.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at December 03, 2009 11:00 AM (DtTM9)

22 I can throw off copious amounts of milk from my body. It just comes out a little lower.

Posted by: Truman North at December 03, 2009 11:00 AM (e8YaH)

23
Ragnar is a cool name, though.

Second to Thor, methinks.

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 03, 2009 11:00 AM (z37MR)

From These people, produced the Vikings fled.

FIFY.

Posted by: Entropy at December 03, 2009 11:02 AM (IsLT6)

I drinks only the finest breast milks. Only 100% pure Cambodian for me.

Posted by: P Diddy at December 03, 2009 11:03 AM (SqAkN)

26
Don't forget the little water slides that let women pee standing up.

And breast-bowling...with electrocution.

Posted by: a.k.a. at December 03, 2009 11:04 AM (z37MR)

27
Give me a couple of minutes and I could have the guy lactating like Daisy the friggen cow

Posted by: Barney Frank at December 03, 2009 11:06 AM (jvrmc)

In defense of the indefensible Scandis the last line of the article goes on to say:

Magnus Talib, a member of the TV8 production team, said: "We never expected the enormous reaction we got; a lot of people were almost blinded with disgust." Â®

He didn't even use hormones.... gotta be a put on.

Posted by: Vermont Maple Hatred at December 03, 2009 11:06 AM (7DB+a)

29 I knew a chick that could ejaculate semen. ^{_{Or at least she said she was a chick.}}

Posted by: pendejo grande at December 03, 2009 11:06 AM (q2/Ng)

How can he relax with a film crew watching?

Posted by: Say What? at December 03, 2009 11:07 AM (vwh8M)

31 Sweden 2009: male graduate students fail in desperate attempt to lactate.

China 2009: within 2 days of actual even, media scientists use satellite imagery to create detailed 3-D virtual reality simulation of Tiger Woods getting pummeled by wife's golf clubs, crashing Escalade into tree.

Just recording a couple of notes for future historians.

At the University of Beijing.

Posted by: iowahawk at December 03, 2009 11:07 AM (veL4N)

32 Undeterred by his inability to lactate, Ragnar has now set out on a quest for his G-spot.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at December 03, 2009 11:08 AM (A46hP)

33 Lamark would be so proud.

Posted by: tunakermit at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (f97Hn)

Give me a couple of minutes and I could have the guy lactating like Daisy the friggen cow

ick.... and double ick

Ragnar is a cool name. we docked there once after the cyclons nuked the colonies

.....yeah, i don;t have much to offer today

Posted by: Admiral Adama Commanding Officer Battlestar Galactica at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (cAcDo)

35 Some dude in India managed to successfully lactate some time ago, his wife died and his baby was going to go hungry if he didn't. And Thorazine taken over a long period of time will make a guy lactate. So then you'd be crazy, drooling, and able to breastfeed, but I'd guess the milk wouldn't be very good for the baby.

Posted by: Alice H at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (qJHYy)

36 His efforts, which involved "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals, were followed by a television crew...

My, the Swedes have a pump for everything, don't they?

Posted by: negentropy at December 03, 2009 11:09 AM (27KAF)

37 She's a man, baby!

Posted by: Austin Powers at December 03, 2009 11:11 AM (vwh8M)

38 I'm pretty sure if a man told his teenage kid he breast-fed him, that would be kind of a deal breaker.

Posted by: Vermont Maple Hatred at December 03, 2009 11:11 AM (7DB+a)

Would you like fries with that Sir?

Call me Ma'am.

Posted by: Ragnar Bengtsson at December 03, 2009 11:11 AM (7Ldd7)

Assuming he's not just punking the media: Some people take this "gender is just a state of mind" thing kind of literally, eh?

I don't know about that. My right hand becomes a beautiful elf-woman named "Galadriel" pretty much whenever I want.

Posted by: Jek Porkins (rdb) at December 03, 2009 11:12 AM (RBdAa)

41 I just gave birth to a healthy 3 pound, 6 ounce Kos Kid.

Posted by: iowahawk at December 03, 2009 11:12 AM (veL4N)

I just gave birth to a healthy 3 pound, 6 ounce Kos Kid.

lilz

Posted by: Vermont Maple Hatred at December 03, 2009 11:13 AM (7DB+a)

43 We have much to learn from Europeans...

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at December 03, 2009 11:14 AM (xdc82)

44 Just an excuse to sit around and have something tugging on his nipples. Freak.

Posted by: huerfano at December 03, 2009 11:15 AM (vtuZz)

45 I just tried my ex-wifes's old breast pump and....I got nothin'...except hard nipples. _{(just kidding of course)}

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 03, 2009 11:15 AM (Vu6sl)

45. I just gave birth to a healthy 3 pound, 6 ounce Kos Kid.

Sweet Jesus, did you the whole pig?

Posted by: Corky at December 03, 2009 11:15 AM (cniXs)

47 Whoops sock puppet off.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 03, 2009 11:16 AM (cniXs)

I just gave birth to a healthy 3 pound, 6 ounce Kos Kid.

Did you flush?

Posted by: Ben at December 03, 2009 11:16 AM (wuv1c)

49 eat. i give up. this is what happens when you mess around on the interwebz at work.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 03, 2009 11:17 AM (cniXs)

50
I think it's all just an excuse to wear a nursing bra

Posted by: bulwark at December 03, 2009 11:17 AM (jvrmc)

51 @ 21 -

The Japanese also have a facial hair thing going on now. Since they typically can't grow a full beard, even a lame one will apparently cut it with the chicks. And if they can't grow one at all, transplants and fakes are all the rage, though I've read that the fakes tend to detach during humid weather (which is most of the time).

These guys sure spend a lot of time trying to mask their inferiority complex with a superiority complex.

Posted by: Bust of Churchill at December 03, 2009 11:17 AM (8/DeP)

52 Meanwhile, Muslim fathers are teaching their kids to shoot AK74's and kill westerners. We are doomed. Bright side? Male boobie milk!

Posted by: The Drizzle at December 03, 2009 11:18 AM (5M2Wr)

managed to successfully lactate some time ago, his wife died and his baby was going to go hungry if he didn't. And Thorazine taken over a long period of time will make a guy lactate. So then you'd be crazy, drooling, and able to breastfeed, but I'd guess the milk wouldn't be very good for the baby.

That's good to know.

Posted by: Ben at December 03, 2009 11:18 AM (wuv1c)

54 He was doing it all wrong.

Posted by: Barney Frank at December 03, 2009 11:18 AM (EL+OC)

Not a good week for the Scandis.

Fail. All around fail.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 03, 2009 11:18 AM (pLTLS)

56 But, more importantly, will he be able to get government-supported breast exams before age 50?

Posted by: wiserbud at December 03, 2009 11:19 AM (IHbof)

Up next he's going to try to get pregnant.

Posted by: TheQuietman at December 03, 2009 11:19 AM (1Jaio)

58 "Sweet Jesus, did you the whole pig?"

Grande cabeza burrito at Tacos El Norte.

After carnitas, I usually give birth to a HuffPoster.

Posted by: iowahawk at December 03, 2009 11:20 AM (veL4N)

59 News crew my ass. They were filming fetish pron.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 03, 2009 11:20 AM (CwczF)

Forget this, we need more studies on the effects of sticking ones dong into jacuzzi jets. That is a study the government should be funding.

Posted by: Ben at December 03, 2009 11:20 AM (wuv1c)

61
Hope and Change, Swedish style. Didn't seem to work out too well, huh?

Posted by: Dang Straights at December 03, 2009 11:20 AM (Haq+B)

62
NY Times headline:
Global Warming Drys Up Scandi Breast Milk

Posted by: Flying monkey at December 03, 2009 11:22 AM (Oxen1)

63 The good news is, the Chicken finally caught a break with this freak.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 03, 2009 11:22 AM (CwczF)

NY Times headline:
Global Warming Drys Up Scandi Breast Milk

Women and minorities hardest hit?

Posted by: Ben at December 03, 2009 11:24 AM (wuv1c)

49 -- don't fib, you didn't kid -- be sure to clean the pump out afterwards, hygiene, hygiene!

There have been a couple of accounts of fathers under extreme circumstances (death of mother) actually managing to pull off suckling their infants. I don't think it was a "gee, I wanna do that" sort of situation though -- maybe that's where Ragnar failed...or he's just batshit to begin with.

Posted by: unknown jane at December 03, 2009 11:25 AM (5/yRG)

We should have a nipple milking contest in Vegas. The winner gets a AoS t-shirt.

Posted by: Ben at December 03, 2009 11:27 AM (wuv1c)

Obviously, Ragnar is a Family Guy fan.

http://tinyurl.com/6s8pw9

Posted by: wiserbud at December 03, 2009 11:27 AM (wWwJR)

68 If he wants to be close to his baby he could marry the mother and stick around.

Posted by: Decaf at December 03, 2009 11:28 AM (BoFBr)

69 That's nothing. I keep a fetus gestating in a box.

Posted by: Loretta at December 03, 2009 11:28 AM (pZEar)

70 Well today I just heard of something called Chicken Bricking so that chicken is pretty much f#cked.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 03, 2009 11:28 AM (SqAkN)

The good news is, the Chicken finally caught a break with this freak.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 03, 2009 03:22 PM (CwczF)

Why, was his first set of experiments to try to get the Chicken to lactate?

(Could explain why Foster Farms dairy products started showing up in California grocery stores.)

Posted by: stuiec at December 03, 2009 11:29 AM (7AOgy)

72
He didn't fail in his attempt to lactate he just discovered one hundred ways not to lactate

Posted by: Perv Edison at December 03, 2009 11:30 AM (jvrmc)

73 Jane: I'm going with the "batshit to begin with" theory myself.

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 03, 2009 11:30 AM (GbmcL)

74 71

Obviously, Ragnar is a Family Guy fan.

http://tinyurl.com/6s8pw9

Posted by: wiserbud at December 03, 2009 03:27 PM (wWwJR)

That's hilarious!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at December 03, 2009 11:31 AM (Vu6sl)

75 Hey! I bet I could get some milk outta my boobs, and a lot better than that bitch of an ex future mother-in-law of mine.

Posted by: Levi Johnston at December 03, 2009 11:31 AM (92zkk)

Chicken Bricking is the act of, when screwing the chicken, you take two bricks and smash the chickens head when you are about to finish. It is on Urban Dictionary.

Posted by: Mr. Pink at December 03, 2009 11:34 AM (SqAkN)

77 I milk myself on regular three hour intervals with one of those "fleshlight" deals. These work way better than a breast pump. I'm not a doctor or any kind of credentialed lactation expert, but I think it's because a penis has a much different shape than a breast.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at December 03, 2009 11:34 AM (+lsX1)

78 Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the *point*?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood at December 03, 2009 11:34 AM (VE5vJ)

79 O.M.G.

Posted by: Twinks at December 03, 2009 11:34 AM (LeFbD)

Some swede chick actually decided to reproduce with this nancy boy.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 03, 2009 11:34 AM (dQdrY)

81 This is what happens when you sit around saunas eating smoked fish and beating yourself with a stick. His buddy will be on next week trying to ovulate.

Posted by: Rocks at December 03, 2009 11:35 AM (Q1lie)

82 Keep milkin' that boar, Pops...

Posted by: mojo at December 03, 2009 11:35 AM (g1cNf)

83 this reminds me of the scene in life of brian: Stan: I want to have babies. Reg: You want to have babies?!?! Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them. Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies! Stan: Don't you oppress me! Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 03, 2009 11:36 AM (ucxC/)

84 oops sorry oliver....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 03, 2009 11:37 AM (ucxC/)

85 Hmm...

Posted by: Bilby at December 03, 2009 11:38 AM (wJMxW)

As a palate cleanser for those who mourn the Vikings.

Amon Amarth - "The Pursuit of Vikings" Metal Blade Records

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 03, 2009 11:39 AM (dQdrY)

87 If he wants to be close to his baby he could marry the mother and stick around.

So close-minded. So hateful. +1000.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at December 03, 2009 11:40 AM (NtiET)

88
I will not believe the results of this study until Anna Kournikova is filmed confirming the data.

Posted by: Flying Monkey at December 03, 2009 11:40 AM (Oxen1)

89 Thees foockeeng gooy is a deesgrece-a tu ell theengs Svedeesh, bork bork bork!

Posted by: The Swedish Chef at December 03, 2009 11:40 AM (ohFJL)

90
phoenixgirl

I read your post and in my head I heard the voice of Lisa Douglas

Posted by: Perv Edison at December 03, 2009 11:41 AM (jvrmc)

91 Surprised the dimwit didn't try to get pregnant as well.

Posted by: GarandFan at December 03, 2009 11:41 AM (ZQBnQ)

92 oops sockpuppet off.

Posted by: bulwark at December 03, 2009 11:42 AM (jvrmc)

93 All this bullishit aside- can't we just shoot these assholes.

Talk about fodder for some bs nobel example.

If they can't take a first breath - please don't name them in the order of civilized .
babies/

Obama means "dead at birth."

Spread the love'

Posted by: george at December 03, 2009 11:44 AM (y0VOX)

94 Even emasculated Swedes do it.

Posted by: Jerry at December 03, 2009 11:49 AM (QF8uk)

95 I have a detachable tail like a salamander. I let it go every morning when I wake up. It odorific.

Posted by: lorien1973 at December 03, 2009 11:50 AM (IhQuA)

96 The Mammagrant Song (with apologies to Zeppelin)

Ah-eeeee-ahhhh ouch!
Ah-eeeee-ahhhh ouch!

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
Singing ABBA songs 'cause it's all we know.
The breast pump of of the gods will grow our chest some new glands,
To feed our hordes, sing and cry: motherhood, I am coming!

On we squeeze with pinching thumbs, holy shit my tits are numb!

Ah-eeeee-ahhhh ouch!
Ah-eeeee-ahhhh ouch!

Posted by: iowahawk at December 03, 2009 11:50 AM (veL4N)

"...with nothing more than "sore breasts" to show for his efforts."

Hey, now! Don't discount the worldwide ridicule you've *coff* engendered.

My husband bonds with his daughters by taking them along to the shooting range.

Posted by: JaneLovesJesus at December 03, 2009 11:55 AM (Np1QL)

98 Funny, I recently had to give up my lifelong dream of growing a vagina.

Posted by: FUBAR at December 03, 2009 11:55 AM (ZvKgM)

99 Embryonic research could soon produce a man/sow with teats enough for eight.

Posted by: Michael J. Fox at December 03, 2009 11:56 AM (gbCNS)

100

"..which involved "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals..."

Be-jee-bus. Is it really that boring in Sweden? Ain't they got hot chicks, er' sumpin'?

Posted by: Snoop-Diggity-DANG-Dawg at December 03, 2009 11:59 AM (BuYeH)

101

Funny, I recently had to give up my lifelong dream of growing a vagina.

Somewhere in Japan someone is working on that right now.

It's the final stage of the Japanese love doll.

Posted by: Vermont Maple Hatred at December 03, 2009 12:00 PM (7DB+a)

102 His efforts, which involved "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals, were followed by a television crew... Shoot him.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 03, 2009 12:00 PM (QECjC)

103
We have large, proven reserves of breast milk in America, but congress won't let us tap them.

Posted by: Flying Monkey at December 03, 2009 12:02 PM (Oxen1)

104 I just don't get what's happened to the gene pool.... Maybe there's more to the nature/nurture thing than we could have guessed.

Posted by: Viking Blood at December 03, 2009 12:03 PM (gbCNS)

105 @109: few people realize that the Viking Berserkers prepped themselves for battle by pumping their breasts for months before going on a raid.

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 03, 2009 12:06 PM (QECjC)

106 We have large, proven reserves of breast milk in America, but congress won't let us tap them.

Milk here, milk now!

Posted by: milchbagger at December 03, 2009 12:09 PM (PD1tk)

107
You call them large, lactating mammaries
I call them the enemy camp.

Posted by: Barney Frank at December 03, 2009 12:10 PM (Oxen1)

108 Maybe he was just tired of spending his kroner on his favorite dairy treat?

http://tinyurl.com/specialtycheese

Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at December 03, 2009 12:11 PM (KWhJd)

109 112 You call them large, lactating mammaries Matthews & Olberdouche?

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 03, 2009 12:11 PM (QECjC)

110 Jeeze Louise, the Muslims are going to have an easier time rolling Europe than Hitler did.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at December 03, 2009 12:13 PM (DtTM9)

111 Got milk?

Posted by: Dairy Producers for Men at December 03, 2009 12:13 PM (gbCNS)

112 113 Maybe he was just tired of spending his kroner on his favorite dairy treat? http://tinyurl.com/specialtycheese Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at December 03, 2009 04:11 PM (KWhJd) Dude

Posted by: CoolCzech at December 03, 2009 12:15 PM (QECjC)

113
You're all a bunch of backward thinking right wing creationist,this man is obviously conducting important scientific research

Posted by: Charles Johnson at December 03, 2009 12:17 PM (jvrmc)

114 I can see a whole new industry here: the milking of men so career wives can buy off the shelves for their babies. Obama needs to know about this... JOBS!

Posted by: Dairy Producers for Men at December 03, 2009 12:19 PM (gbCNS)

115 119 I can see a whole new industry here: the milking of men so career wives can buy off the shelves for their babies to feed the serfs in the labor camps. Obama needs to know about this... JOBS! ENERGY!

FIFY

Posted by: John Holdren at December 03, 2009 12:22 PM (DtTM9)

116 Well, it still appears to be a viable theory and experiment. After all, the consensus of evolution once supported it.

Posted by: Jean-Baptiste Lamarck at December 03, 2009 12:24 PM (OHG82)

117 Forget about shovel-ready jobs. There's a gold-mine in tit-ready jobs. Men, our sex can now put bacon back on the table!

Posted by: Dairy Producers for Men at December 03, 2009 12:26 PM (gbCNS)

118 Remember, when they grow up, the little bastards turn on you.

Posted by: Say What? at December 03, 2009 12:28 PM (vwh8M)

119 That's only if you let 'em grow up...

Posted by: mojo at December 03, 2009 12:34 PM (g1cNf)

120 I had to drop out of nursing school because my nipples got too sore.

Posted by: pistolero at December 03, 2009 12:34 PM (QuCVu)

121 So is Little Green Footballs officially a left-wing blog now?

Did Charles come clean and admit he's an Obamabot?

I

Posted by: Spud at December 03, 2009 12:36 PM (iaMr2)

122 @110

Ah yes, I remember well my horned, fur-covered breast milk pump. Good times, good times.

Posted by: Ragnar Thorsjold at December 03, 2009 12:37 PM (ZvKgM)

123

101. The Mammagrant Song (with apologies to Zeppelin)

Bwaahhhh. My boobs give that 2 snaps up, in a circle.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 03, 2009 12:38 PM (cniXs)

124

#124

Ahh, that's where I went wrong!

Posted by: Say What? at December 03, 2009 12:39 PM (vwh8M)

125 Just for the record, I didn't know the guy's name in the article was Ragnar. It's a popular name. Sue me.

Posted by: Ragnar Thorsjold at December 03, 2009 12:39 PM (ZvKgM)

126 I prefer my penis pump.

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at December 03, 2009 12:40 PM (ZvKgM)

127

OK. I'm a font of useless trivia once again. . .

Someone may have already posted this, but it has been established that, in survival situations only, men can lactate just barely enough to keep a newborn from dying. For example: a couple in the middle of the desert, the mom dies in childbirth, and the father has to walk 200 miles to a village with women. He would be able to keep the baby alive, but there would be no thriving, weight gain, etc. It has been noted that this is extremely painful and the result is (again) only enough for the baby to not die.

That said, the Swedish guy is a moron and should have an immediate vasectomy (he probably already has once, now that I think on it) to prevent passing his stupidity on to future generations.

Posted by: Biblio at December 03, 2009 12:43 PM (y5VNb)

128 Nancy, that gives me an idea. Has he tried ejaculating breast milk?

Posted by: Thor at December 03, 2009 12:47 PM (gbCNS)

129 I just about lactated all over myself when I saw my wife with a golf club in my rearview mirror.

Posted by: Tiger Woods at December 03, 2009 01:10 PM (QECjC)

130 Student Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, said that male lactation "could prove very important for men's ability to get much closer to their children at an early stage turn their sons gay".

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at December 03, 2009 01:21 PM (IqfKc)

131 Seems like theres a lot of screwy bastards running around. I'm thinking this guy would have voted for teh Won if he lived here..

Posted by: jfalcon, the patriot at December 03, 2009 01:24 PM (omGgx)

132 You know, if someone did that 8 x day breast pumping shit to a Muzzie at Gitmo, the ACLU and the DC Progs would have a f-ing cow. Hahaha, see what I did there? Breast pumping, it's the Scandi way to waterboard. Dahahaha, The dry hump breast pump.

Posted by: dr kill at December 03, 2009 01:24 PM (KXVFz)

133 I'd pay to see Pelosi dry hump breast pump Khalid S Mohd. Maybe Leon Panetta could help her with the stopwatch.

Posted by: dr kill at December 03, 2009 01:27 PM (KXVFz)

134 Heh. Don't feel bad, Ragnar. I couldn't get it to work on the moobs either. But it you put the pump on your ear, you can get lots of useless white stuff out.

Posted by: Joe Freakin Biden at December 03, 2009 01:32 PM (dQdrY)

135 I'm also thinking all those lonely Taliban dudes in those Tora Borat caves could stimulate each other and solve the lacka- milky crisis in Paakeestaahn. Squeeze you fuzzy-headed sheep bangers, squeeze for the chirren! Then the CSI dudes could track them back to their stinky holes by following the milky stains on the dirt. Does Taliban milk fluoresce?

Posted by: dr kill at December 03, 2009 01:32 PM (KXVFz)

136

First of all, ick.

Secondly, as a mother, I can attest to the fact that it isnÂ’t all fun and games to breastfeed an infant.

Third, and on a more serious note, my ex-husband was furious that I breastfed our baby. He felt it somehow took away from Â“hisÂ” time with our son. He tried to convince the well baby nurses that I wouldnÂ’t be able to do it and we should just switch to bottle feeding. Unfortunately, he did not realize he was up against the militant milking mama brigade and those nurses werenÂ’t going to cave. End result, I breastfed for the first year and my ex-husband sulked a great deal about it.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at December 03, 2009 02:03 PM (RZ8pf)

137 So that was the first indication your husband was a self-centered dick?

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 03, 2009 02:22 PM (dQdrY)

138

Mammreeeeeeees

Albino colored mammreeeeeeees

Of the waaaaaaay

He weren't.

Posted by: Barry Mammarylo at December 03, 2009 02:24 PM (dQdrY)

139

ParanoidGirlInSeattle

See & my ex thought it was great- he never had to get up in the middle of the night to feed them & ruin his beauty sleep.