Ace of Spades HQ

December 25, 2009

Top Ten Christmas Movies That Have Nothing to do With Christmas
— Ace

Slublog starting talking about this on Twitter a few days ago -- citing Die Hard as one of his favorite "Christmas" movies -- and I joined in. It's sort of interesting for reasons I can't really explain.

Because several of my favorite movies are "Christmas" movies having nothing to do with Christmas, I sort of give any movie that does this a few extra bonus nostalgia points.

I was going to do my own post, but I put it off, and lookie here, Big Hollywood beat me to the punch and now I don't have to do any work.

Procrastination is awesome like that. If you don't do your job in a timely fashion, there's a damn good chance someone else will. I heartily recommend it to everyone.

Or, okay, maybe not everyone: I heartily recommend it to 40% of the population, and heartily recommend picking up the slack to the other 60%.

Couple of points: Searching around the internet for these sorts of movies, I was surprised to learn another great 80s actioner -- First Blood -- is actually a Christmas movie having nothing to do with Christmas. (Why do I still find it so thrilling that Stallone stitches up his wound from falling off the cliff?) A blog cited the fact that the downtown of the Washington state town the film takes place in has Christmas lights on display, and that there's a Christmas tree at the police station.

Actually... Thinking about it, I'd guess that First Blood is really a post-Christmas movie. It has that sort of down feeling you get around the 27th or so.

...

Another point is that the Uber 80s Action Screenwriter Shane Black used Christmas as a backdrop for Lethal Weapon. And liked that so much he used it again for The Long Kiss Goodnight. And still liked it so much he did it yet again for the positively awesome Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

And I never once got annoyed he was re-using the same element. It's an awesome element. If his next action movie is set at Christmas, I'll enjoy it yet again.

One more thing: The Star Wars trilogy (the real trilogy) is not set at Christmas, or even in the known galaxy, but by now it's oddly a Christmas series. The only time I see it now is at Christmas. It competes now with A Christmas Story for What Ace Watches Christmas-Week.

Correction: The author did say these films are in "no particular order," so my quibbling about where these movies should fall on the list is off-base.

...

Oh, and on this list: Die Hard at number ten?

Really?

Number ten?

And Gremlins ahead of it?

What madness is this?

Lethal Weapon edging it out at number 9? Now I love Lethal Weapon, but look here: Die Hard is plainly a superior movie in all aspects. Lethal Weapon is now dated and I'm a little less in love with it than I once was. ("They was painted.")

On the other hand, if Die Hard is on at any time, I will watch at least 20 minutes of it, if not for the whole rest of the remaining running time.

Maybe Die Hard 2 should be at number 10, and Die Hard at one, or at least no lower than 2.

That's the problem with my procrastination strategy. You just can't rely on the person picking up your slack to do a proper job of it.

Posted by: Ace at 09:18 AM | Comments (92)
Post contains 599 words, total size 4 kb.

1 I like the idea of the genre - Die Hard makes a great Christmas movie. Plus, stuff gets blown up, which is a real bonus.

Posted by: 141 Driver at December 25, 2009 09:23 AM (JFNQ7)

2 Bruester's trillions.

Posted by: Harry Reid at December 25, 2009 09:25 AM (Lnm9e)

3 Debbie Does Santa...and the elves, has always been a Christmas favorite. Debbie was very giving.

Posted by: Rodent Liberation Front at December 25, 2009 09:28 AM (dQdrY)

4 sock off

Posted by: eman at December 25, 2009 09:32 AM (7dmFm)

5 On the other hand, if Die Hard is on at any time, I will watch at least 20 minutes of it, if not for the whole rest of the remaining running time.

That's me, too. I'll even watch the horribly edited TV version. "Yippee ki yay, Mr. Falcon." What?

Posted by: Steve L. at December 25, 2009 09:34 AM (mIIVr)

6 Bah. They didn't put The Thin Man on the list? It totally should be number 1. Boo! Bah humbug!

Posted by: Ella at December 25, 2009 09:42 AM (y0vbB)

7 My Apple just issued a a virus warning when I clicked on the Big hollywood.

Posted by: jainphx at December 25, 2009 09:42 AM (4t9Xj)

8 Um, the Big H. list says "in no particular order".

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 25, 2009 09:47 AM (Be4xl)

9 True, the first Die Hard was pretty good, although it turned the opening Christmas number, into something unexpected .the second directed by Harlin, introduced the habit of American superpatriots being villains, which they share with the first Lethal Weapon" drug dealing CIA killers, with the dad from Dharma and Greg,and Gary Busey, who has this habit of getting involved in the anti American screenplays

Posted by: ian cormac at December 25, 2009 09:48 AM (AjYb4)

10 "Oh, and on this list: Die Hard at number ten?" Evidently, "in no particular order" doesn't mean what it used to....

Posted by: notropis at December 25, 2009 09:48 AM (mUrmJ)

11 Procrastination is awesome like that. If you don't do your job in a timely fashion, there's a damn good chance someone else will. I heartily recommend it to everyone.

Cargo cultist.

Posted by: pinche migra at December 25, 2009 09:49 AM (E3SK8)

12 i don't see Deep Throat anywhere on the list. what's up with that?

Posted by: redc1c4 at December 25, 2009 09:50 AM (d1FhN)

7 My Apple just issued a a virus warning when I clicked on the Big hollywood

Adobe has recently released updates for Flash to fix numerous security flaws. Do your part and make sure your machine is up to date. Server operators and content providers have to do their updates also, but that part's out of your control.

Posted by: 141 Driver at December 25, 2009 09:50 AM (JFNQ7)

14 Trading Places should have been on that list along with The Long Kiss Goodnight. Brazil maybe.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 09:51 AM (muUqs)

15 Missing from the list is "Trading Places". If if you don't go in for the comedy Jamie Lee Curtis gets topless.

Posted by: Scott J. at December 25, 2009 09:51 AM (Sm0sy)

You just can't rely on the person picking up your slack to do a proper job of it.

That's why you re-write it and then claim it was a double post.

Yeh, we're like totally on to you, ya know.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 25, 2009 09:52 AM (Be4xl)

17 What I really like about Die Hard is that all the background music is based on Beethoven's 9th.

Posted by: Scott J. at December 25, 2009 09:54 AM (Sm0sy)

18 Procrastination is its own reward sometimes.

Posted by: steveegg at December 25, 2009 09:55 AM (UGOcx)

19 A lot of When Harry Met Sally was set at Christmas, although the pay-off at the end is at New Years.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 09:55 AM (muUqs)

20 Sheesh. The best Christmas movies are 1) It's a Wonderful Life, 2) White Christmas, and 3) Miracle on 34th St (the original). Everything else falls far behind. Yea, I'm an old fart.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1ST at December 25, 2009 09:59 AM (ucq49)

21 Die Hard is the Christmas movie of choice at my house.

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at December 25, 2009 10:10 AM (+FMsx)

22
My Cousin Vinny and The Godfather Part III.

two movies I saw on Christmas day.

Posted by: Posted by at December 25, 2009 10:12 AM (PaMcq)

@ #9 - Funny thing about Busey...he was in a couple of pro-American flicks way back when, like the film Bulletproof, where he played this waaayyy over the top character named 'McBain' (and you thought it was a total Simpsons' thing, didn't you?) who struck fear into every non-American who heard his name, except of course for the bad guys, who didn't believe he was such a badass, then died for their unbelief.

What about Santa Claus Conquers The Martians?

Posted by: Ragnarokpaperscissors at December 25, 2009 10:12 AM (l8HqE)

24 The Ref

Posted by: Stephen Macklin at December 25, 2009 10:12 AM (R7LgM)

25 No "Batman Returns"? Lame.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 25, 2009 10:13 AM (IEJ4J)

26 Die Hard is pretty much on somewhere every day. It never gets old. Just caught a few minutes of it again last night.

Posted by: JWF at December 25, 2009 10:18 AM (29kbu)

300 is a Christmas movie, isn't it? I mean Leonidas does scream, "This is... SANTA!!!" in that movie, didn't he?

Well, it's the last one I've seen in a theatre, with Master And Commander being the one before that, so I'm going with 300.

And I see our asshole friends at Google, or at least the Canadian Google page, have a Christmas page with presents and a frigging "peace" symbol but none of that religious "stuff". I guess Larry Page and Sergey Brin are trying to get the gig of decorating next year's White House "winter holiday, nothing to look at here" tree. Intercourse them all, every one.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 25, 2009 10:18 AM (2qU2d)

28 It's A Wonderful Life is not really about Christmas, it's set at Christmas and should be #1 on this list.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 10:21 AM (muUqs)

29 "Psycho" is my favorite movie set during the Christmas season. Mother and I watch it every year. She's a real fan....

Posted by: William Jeans at December 25, 2009 10:21 AM (o/1Dm)

30 I watched the newest Star Trek film last night [on my home system, which is a projector to my wall, at 4ft x 8ft [approx]]... that's my Christmas movie now.

Posted by: meep at December 25, 2009 10:22 AM (Jw4eT)

31 And no, Star Trek isn't set during Christmas or anything, but the guy playing Kirk is super hot. And Uhura isn't too bad herself.

Oooh, and Captain Pike. I like the older men....

Posted by: meep at December 25, 2009 10:23 AM (Jw4eT)

32
yeah, you kinda remember the movies you watch during Christmas; they don't have to necessarily be Christmas-themed movies.

Posted by: Posted by at December 25, 2009 10:25 AM (PaMcq)

OT: The atheist at HotAir decided to take Christmas off. Shouldn't he be working?

It's part of a bigger problem I have with some blogs that insist on not posting anything on the weekends. Folks, it's the Internet; it runs 24/7. If you're going to run a big blog you need to have new content every day. I'm not talking about the smaller blogs run by a single person. That's fine if they decide to take a few days off. It's the blogs that profess to have millions of hits where I've noticed this. If you're so worried about revenue and traffic, then get some fucking co-bloggers or something (like Ace does).

Oh, and Merry Christmas to all morons and moronettes.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 25, 2009 10:26 AM (P33XN)

34
One year, the gf and I rented The Man Who Would Be King and watched it while wrapping presents.

This is the shit you remember. This is life. Memories and shit.

Posted by: Posted by at December 25, 2009 10:28 AM (PaMcq)

35 My List :
1) It's a Wonderful Life
2)Trading Places
3)Die Hard
4)Kiss, Kiss, Bang Bang
5)When Harry Met Sally
6)The Long Kiss Goodnight
7)LA Confidential

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 10:29 AM (muUqs)

36 Oops ;

Lethal Weapon
9) First Blood
10) Gremlins

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 10:31 AM (muUqs)

37 Undoubtedly... Die Hard should be #2, after Battleground. But... Better Off Dead is a much, much more entertaining movie than that dreck Sleepless in Seattle! It's missing from the list!

But don't take my word for it, I just drank a monster eggnog made with lighter fluid.

Posted by: Charles DeMar at December 25, 2009 10:32 AM (FGMuc)

38
What Are Your Favorite Christmas TV Episodes?

My favorite all-time tv episode is the Twilight Zone episode with Art Carney. Great great show.

Posted by: Posted by at December 25, 2009 10:34 AM (PaMcq)

39 MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!

Posted by: XPLODEIT at December 25, 2009 10:36 AM (fWmIj)

i don't see Deep Throat anywhere on the list. what's up with that? Posted by: redc1c4 at December 25, 2009 01:50 PM (d1FhN)

That sucks.

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at December 25, 2009 10:36 AM (3IZGh)

The Ghost and the Darkness.

There's a scene where Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer have set up a hunting stand to kill the Tsavo lions. As Douglas is walking away he turns to Kilmer and says "Oh and Merry Christmas. Yeah, it's that time of year".

Posted by: Dirk Diggler at December 25, 2009 10:38 AM (6KpZJ)

42 Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thorton and the little black guy, Tony Cox. I love this movie because it is just wrong.

Posted by: Usful Ijit at December 25, 2009 10:39 AM (28286)

43 Groundhog Day. It's the Christmas Carol story only moved to February, without the ghosts. And it's got a vodka-swilling hobo who dies.

Posted by: Cicero at December 25, 2009 10:43 AM (SCFiZ)

44 Remember when SANTA was kidnapped by the MARTIANS!!? They claimed that their own children didn't understand the concept of FUN so they kidnapped Santa and took him to MARS. It's a little known FACT that these martians also kidnapped two HUMAN children as well. Once Santa arrived on Mars the Martians asked Santa to build a new WORKSHOP so he could build TOYS !!for the Marian children But then the EVIL Voldar tried to SABOTAGE Santa's new workshop so that only SHITTY toys were produced. Fortunately Martians are terrible with NAMES and FACES, and in an attempt to kidnap Santa again, the evil Voldar mistook a DRUNKASS moron named DrewM. for Santa!! Fortunately DrewM. ESCAPED and Voldar was arrested.

PEOPLE! We! can't! rely! on such RANDOM events any longer. We must DEFEND Santa Claus better from now on or else human CHILDREN will never know the magic of finding out that Santa is really a COMMIE plot.

Posted by: guswing plover at December 25, 2009 10:44 AM (DwKMY)

45 Agree with the Trading Places nods above. What kind of bullshit list would omit that one?

Posted by: Andy at December 25, 2009 10:46 AM (f1o8E)

Oooh, and Captain Pike. I like the older men....

Beep.

Posted by: captain christopher pike at December 25, 2009 10:47 AM (2qU2d)

47
were they kidnapped or stowaways? Anyway, I love that movie.

And the MST3K riff on it is pretty good, too.

Posted by: Posted by at December 25, 2009 10:47 AM (PaMcq)

That sucks.

.. / -.-. .... --- -.- . / .-.. .. -. -.. .- / .-.. --- ...- . .-.. .- -.-. .

Posted by: captain christopher pike at December 25, 2009 10:51 AM (2qU2d)

49 Inavsion USA with Chuck Noris. That had Christmas going on in the background and it was a kick-ass movie.

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at December 25, 2009 10:51 AM (3IZGh)

50 Old, of course, but I liked it so much I bookmarked it for repeated viewings. A graphical depiction of the who, how, and where, of every death at Nakatomi Plaza: http://is.gd/5Bm2K

Posted by: Planet Moron at December 25, 2009 10:52 AM (yT9IK)

.. / -.-. .... --- -.- . / .-.. .. -. -.. .- / .-.. --- ...- . .-.. .- -.-. . Posted by: captain christopher pike at December 25, 2009 02:51 PM (2qU2d)

.. -. -.-- --- ..- .-. -.. .-. . .- -- ...

Posted by: Old Hippie Vet at December 25, 2009 10:57 AM (3IZGh)

52 My favorite Christmas movie was David Copperfield when it showed on TNT in 2000 with Hugh Dancy and Michael Weiss (Kramer) been trying to get a copy ever since.

I've been boycotting It's a Wonderful Life because it's not a movie I want to see alone (I'm a romantic, what can I say)

Posted by: Lincoln Adams at December 25, 2009 10:57 AM (UqJ8A)

53 Oops, that's Michael Richards, not Weiss.

Posted by: Lincoln Adams at December 25, 2009 10:58 AM (UqJ8A)

54 Die Hard and Die Hard 2. That right there is a full day.

Posted by: huerfano at December 25, 2009 10:59 AM (1+C5d)

55 I just can't see anyone wanting to watch Gremlins on purpose. Or Pacers, or any of those other shitty little cars.

Posted by: TheGhostWhoWalks at December 25, 2009 11:00 AM (EhEjd)

56 Which Jenna Jameson movie is in Ace's Christmas Top Ten?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at December 25, 2009 11:00 AM (+FMsx)

57 Sorry, but Christmas story is way up on my list. I know one of those cable channels runs a marathon of that on Christmas day, but there are some timeless truths in that flick, the most important being: "You'll shoot your eye out." I also like the mom telling her husband he'll get worms if he eats the turkey too early. Nobody seems to worry about that anymore. E. Coli and Salmonella get all the press.

Posted by: mokimoki at December 25, 2009 11:03 AM (IrV7s)

58

Die Hard?

Never heard of it.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at December 25, 2009 11:07 AM (7+pP9)

59 Which Jenna Jameson movie is in Ace's Christmas Top Ten? Peter North's Pole?

Posted by: Usful Ijit at December 25, 2009 11:17 AM (28286)

What about Santa Claus Conquers The Martians?

_{Posted by: Ragnarokpaperscissors at December 25, 2009 02:12 PM (l8HqE)}

You are the second coolest guy here! A gift for you.

Posted by: garrett at December 25, 2009 11:17 AM (iIj+A)

61 What about The Blob? In the end, the townspeople find a way to work together to destroy a monster with snow.

Posted by: ®Dß®€W€® at December 25, 2009 11:21 AM (iurXa)

62 >>>Sorry, but Christmas story is way up on my list. Mine too but that movie is about Christmas. So's It's a Wonderful Life. I can see argument on that point, I guess, but it's... you know, it's about Christmas and brotherhood and affirming life and kith and kin and all of that. And, um, God is a character in the film's beginning. And so are angels. I don't see how that's not really a Christmas movie.

Posted by: ace at December 25, 2009 11:27 AM (jlvw3)

63 Yeah, I know it's really, truly a Christmas movie, but if I am going to watch something today, it will be that, or perhaps Twister. Which is positively not Christmas, nor is it really good, but I love the cow. So, those would be my two movie picks. Usually, we would be overseas for Christmas, and we would be lucky to get anything in English. So I guess I'm just happy with something in my native tongue. And Merry Christmas Ace, i hope you are having a wonderful day.

Posted by: mokimoki at December 25, 2009 11:40 AM (IrV7s)

64 my sister gave me Kiss Kiss Bang Bang on DVD. I missed it at the theater, and was surprised just how good it was

Posted by: Frank G at December 25, 2009 11:42 AM (I+To0)

65 Love Actually! Because I've been talking about it for days. It doesn't really have anything to do with Christmas, but it takes place during the Christmas season and sort of refers to it, but not much. Or at least, it doesn't have to do with Christmas the way say Elf or A Christmas Story does. Which I still haven't seen all of even though it's been on loop since yesterday.

Posted by: wherestherum at December 25, 2009 11:42 AM (gofDd)

"5)When Harry Met Sally"

If we're putting them in a "holiday" context, that'd be my number 1 New Years Eve movie. It's a stretch, but that's where I'd put it.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1ST at December 25, 2009 11:45 AM (ucq49)

67 High Plains Drifter is Ã¼ber cool. The manly-man Clint Eastwood does the town a service in a new-Santa kinda way.

Posted by: St. Agnostica at December 25, 2009 11:48 AM (gbCNS)

68 oh come on people,er, morons. The Three Godfathers directed by John Ford & starring John Wayne (American!!!), Ward Bond & introducing Harry Carey Jr. also, Pedro Armadinez (sp)

Posted by: kelley in virginia at December 25, 2009 11:50 AM (TEIZr)

"but it's... you know, it's about Christmas and brotherhood and affirming life and kith and kin and all of that. "

If it wasn't shown repeatedly thru the years, at Christmas, you probably wouldn't immediately associate it with Christmas. Watch the whole movie. The Christmas angle mostly comes in at the end. The angel, could have been any time. George's "holiday" hardship/depression fits in as well then, as today.

Posted by: MDr VB1.0 CS1ST at December 25, 2009 11:51 AM (ucq49)

70 #48 = I choke Lina Lovelace?

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 25, 2009 12:41 PM (Hv1Cx)

71 #51 In your dreams.

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 25, 2009 12:45 PM (Hv1Cx)

72 Linda, not Lina

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 25, 2009 12:46 PM (Hv1Cx)

73
Best TV episode? No question: the "Bastogne" episode from "Band of Brothers".

Posted by: Brown Line at December 25, 2009 12:48 PM (+eJfs)

#51 LOL, Old Hippie Vet. [And I had to use a Morse code 'translator', something I'm sure you didn't need to use to reply to Captain Pike.]

Posted by: andycanuck at December 25, 2009 12:52 PM (2qU2d)

75 #51 Amateur radio license still valid--woo hoo....

Posted by: ParisParamus at December 25, 2009 12:56 PM (Hv1Cx)

BTW, several of the Morse code translating sites also had audio to give the 'duh-duh-dit' sound effect tones too.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 25, 2009 01:05 PM (2qU2d)

77 73
Best TV episode? No question: the "Bastogne" episode from "Band of Brothers".

The entire episode is on Youtube should anyone like to watch it

Posted by: kbdabear at December 25, 2009 01:07 PM (sYxEE)

78 Christmas in Connecticut (original version) and The Homecoming (Waltons) Have them on dvd and watch them every year.

Posted by: politicalmuse at December 25, 2009 01:43 PM (kLKnf)

the Ref.

"All you do is take up fucking space!"

Posted by: ron dorque at December 25, 2009 02:52 PM (XMr+V)

80 Invasion USA, with Chuck Norris. The awesomest Christmas movie ever -- and eerily prescient, I might add. The idea of terrorists attacking the US seemed trite and silly and over-the-top in 1985 or whenever it came out, but it stopped being silly eight years ago.

Posted by: Trimegistus at December 25, 2009 03:09 PM (ubICq)

81 >>>So's It's a Wonderful Life. I can see argument on that point, I guess, but it's... you know, it's about Christmas and brotherhood and affirming life and kith and kin and all of that.

And, um, God is a character in the film's beginning. And so are angels.

I don't see how that's not really a Christmas movie.

The movie basically shows George Bailey's entire life, from his brother almost drowning to falling in the high school pool. George trys to kill himself because he's "worth more dead than alive" after his bank loses a deposit. It happens to take place at Christmas. Maybe if George tried to kill himself on Groundhog's Day maybe God would have let him go ahead and succeed, I don't know. It's a religious movie to be sure, but I don't think Christmas is necessarily central to the story.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at December 25, 2009 03:10 PM (muUqs)

82 C'mon, any list like that that includes "While You Were Sleeping" at all, much less above Lethal Weapon and Die Hard, is bogus to begin with, nevermind the quibbling.

Posted by: Anwyn at December 25, 2009 03:31 PM (dzxw9)

83 AND Sleepless in Seattle! Ugh!

Posted by: Anwyn at December 25, 2009 03:32 PM (dzxw9)

84 You can't leave out Night Shift.

Posted by: polynikes at December 25, 2009 04:02 PM (PveiD)

85 Where's Nightmare Before Christmas? That certainly had the best music of any of the choices.

Posted by: ravenshrike at December 25, 2009 07:39 PM (C63A/)

86 Harmony Faith Lane (Michelle Monaghan) in Santa costume, please.

Posted by: taba at December 26, 2009 04:59 AM (XppsK)

87 "Nothing says Christmas like throwing a German off a tall building".

Crappy sitcom quote that had me ROLLING.

Did I mention I was drunk at the time?

Posted by: Jimmie at December 26, 2009 07:03 AM (/qIpU)

88 Gotta go with #24--The Ref is my all-time favorite Christmas movie....

Posted by: ipw533 at December 26, 2009 07:15 AM (rRpf3)

@ #60: Um, gee, um...thanks?

Posted by: Ragnarokpaperscissors at December 26, 2009 11:15 AM (l8HqE)

90 It totally should be number 1. Boo! Bah humbug!

Posted by: xg_网页设计 at December 27, 2009 11:44 PM (FLs+z)

91 This is the shit you remember. This is life

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