Ace of Spades HQ

April 16, 2014

What Happens When You Try to Open a Plane's Door at 30,000 Feet?
— Ace

Via Instapundit, this Popular Mechanics article notes a recent attempt at opening a pressurized cabin's door.

Nothing happened. The door can't be opened due to the pressure differential. The inside of the plane is pressurized, and the outside is low-pressure; basically you have a thousand pounds of pressure holding the door shut.

Popular Mechanics, however, gets vague about how this works. Airplane doors open outwards. The pressure inside a plane also pushes outwards.

So why does the pressure keep the plane's door shut, rather than giving a would-be door opener a terrific advantage in opening it? Why does pressure fight against a door-opener, rather than fighting for him?

The reason concerns the way that the door is engineered. Some just have locking mechanisms. I suppose those could be opened in flight.

But many are sealed shut by the cabin pressure itself.

These kind of doors are called plug doors, because, like a plug in a sink, they're meant to fill a hole and stay there, sucked into the hole by negative pressure.

Here now some things I learned from Wikipedia and generally scouring the Internet to answer this question, which has long bothered me. (My information is spotty and wholly based on reading so there may be some mistakes here, and I'd appreciate any corrections.)

The inside edge of a plug door is fatter than the outside edge, like a plug that tapers towards its front. The low pressure outside the door hole and the high pressure inside it pushes the plug door into its frame, preventing it from being pulled inwards.
An emergency exit door might just physically come apart from the plane -- that is, it detaches completely. To open it, one has to pull into the body of the plane, then put aside or laid on the floor.

In the video below, note that fatter inside edge of the door, and the thinner outside edge.

In flight, at high altitude, when pressurized, the pressure would be pushing that door outwards into the hole.

Main doors have a tricky hinge, that requires opening it in two stages:

First, the door must be moved inward. Because the door has to be opened inward, it's at this stage that the high pressure of the cabin is helping keeping it sealed shut -- the pressure is pushing the door outward, and a person trying to open it at altitude would have to fight the air pressure to pull it back.

Once it's been moved inward, the hinge now permits it to move outward into the fully open position. Apparently the door can tilt or rotate on the hinge such that it can now move through the door-space, even though it's actually too big for the space. (Much as you can get a couch through a doorway by angling it.)

See? It moves inwards first. If you were trying to open that at 30,000 feet, you'd find it impossible to pull it towards you.

Another kind of door, on the Airbus, achieves this "Bigger on the inside edge" sealing factor by building a door with a top and bottom piece that slide out of the way when a locking mechanism is turned.

You can see that at around twenty seconds in here:

I don't know about that one, though. The true plug type doors just can't be pulled inward (at least not by human strength) at the great pressure differential at high altitude. But the Airbus door appears to open outwards only -- and is only blocked by doing so by the top and bottom pieces of the door, which can be moved aside by mechanical manipulation.

Thus that door seems to be relying only on mechanical safeguards, rather than air pressure, to keep the door shut.

Correction: Airbus actually says its doors open inwards, too. I guess I'm just not seeing the inward motion in that video.

When people say it's impossible to open a door at altitude, I think they're talking about the plug doors.

But not all airplanes have those. (This is unaffected by the correction.)

One more thing about all this: While people will say "You can't open a door in flight," that's not true. Even the plug-type doors can be opened in flight -- just not in flight at high altitudes while the cabin is pressurized.

When there's not such a great difference between the external and internal pressure -- and cabins are only pressurized to about the pressure you'd feel at 8,000 feet -- there won't be anything except the locking mechanisms keeping doors closed.

Of course, it's also not particularly dangerous to open an aircraft door at lower altitude -- no explosive depressurization, no Goldfinger exit -- but it's also not advisable. A sudden change in the airplane's aerodynamic profile can wreak havoc on the pilot's control, and of course no one wants to feel 500 mph hour winds gusting right outside the window.

So there's kind of three myths that need to be busted here: first, the myth that you can just open a door at high altitude and explosively depressurize the cabin.

You can't do that... with plug doors.

But it's actually not true that all airplane doors are plug doors. Some just rely on mechanical safeguards.

And further, the the contrary myth that you can never open a door in flight at all is also wrong.

Up to 8,000 feet, you'd have absolutely no considerations of pressure at all keeping doors shut -- only the mechanical locks would be holding the doors shut -- and I'm going to guess that up to around 15,000 feet, while there would be a pressure differential, it wouldn't be so vast that an adult man couldn't yank it open.*

So... don't be entirely calm when that weird looking guy goes for the door while you're descending for a landing.

And via the Washington Free Beacon, an aircrew does her best stand-up while giving the pre-flight safety instructions.

Listen closely; she packs a lot of jokes in there. Including her advisory that not only are you not permitted to disable the bathroom smoke detector, but that you're also not permitted to disable the bathroom webcam.

* Actually, I bet the handles and such are designed to break off if too much force is exerted on them. That is, if you have to exert such a significant amount of force on the door to pull it open (which would happen in a low pressure outside/high pressure inside situation), the handles are designed to just break off in your hand and leave the door in place.

They could manage that just by using weaker attaching hardware -- plastic screws designed to fail under too much force -- than they otherwise would.

But that's all conjecture.

Posted by: Ace at 02:16 PM | Comments (233)
Post contains 1152 words, total size 8 kb.

1 All this talk about plugs and lips...

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:19 PM (nEIMV)

2 Thanks for the info. Still not getting on a plane, though.

Posted by: Sal at April 16, 2014 02:20 PM (2v393)

3 Yeah, I've been there before.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:20 PM (nEIMV)

4 I haven't flown in years. Phobia's totally taken over.

Posted by: Hobbitopoly at April 16, 2014 02:21 PM (080XV)

5 I once "did" a 747.

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:22 PM (nsOJa)

6 What's with this "(Much as you can get a couch through a doorway by angling it.)"? I've always had to use a saw.

Posted by: johnr@jackgordon.org at April 16, 2014 02:22 PM (lOLTH)

7 Bloomberg wants to spend $50M a year to destroy the NRA. Claim is NRA only spends $20M a year. Still think NRA will win.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 02:23 PM (ZPrif)

8 so if we build an inside-out balloon, it will shrink as it rises into the thinner part of the atmosphere? boy am I confused.

Posted by: mallfly at April 16, 2014 02:23 PM (bJm7W)

9 didn't Harry Reid say that what Bloomberg wants to do is un-American?

Posted by: mallfly at April 16, 2014 02:23 PM (bJm7W)

10 My last flight was to Pittsburgh and back. It took longer to fly than it would have to drive. I will never fly again because it is simply too much hassle.

Posted by: Vic[/i] at April 16, 2014 02:24 PM (T2V/1)

11 Warren Buffet is part of Bloomberg's new anti-gun group. So is form Joint Chief of Staffs Chairman Mike Mullen, Obama's favorite Admiral. The one who gutted the Navy.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 02:24 PM (ZPrif)

12 didn't Harry Reid say that what Bloomberg wants to do is un-American? I say a lot of things.

Posted by: Harry Reid[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 02:24 PM (qKrH5)

13 The pressure difference between 8000ft & 15000ft is right around 2.6psi. A 2ftx4ft door would be 1152inÂ² (I don't know how big they are in Real LifeÂ™). I'll leave the rest of the calculations as an exercise for the reader.

Posted by: Stark Dickflüssig at April 16, 2014 02:25 PM (MbqmP)

14 I'm thinking the passengers laughing hysterically were already drunk.

Posted by: kathysaysso at April 16, 2014 02:26 PM (6H6o8)

15 The tapered thing really doesn't matter. With the pressure differential, just the force on the door latching mechanism will prevent it from being opened. Much like when you get penny locked inside a dorm room. That's enough force to prevent the latch mechanism from moving. With a couple pennies wedged in the door. Try pressurizing the inside of the dorm room too.

Posted by: deadrody at April 16, 2014 02:26 PM (+Dpo7)

16 (the difference between 8000ft & 30000ft is more like 6.5psi)

Posted by: Stark Dickflüssig at April 16, 2014 02:26 PM (MbqmP)

17 FoxNews reports Obama is doing a backdoor bailout for Detroit. Mainly for the public union pensions that Detroit can't pay for now. Cause of the having no money thing.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 02:26 PM (ZPrif)

18 Isn't one atmosphere of pressure still just 14.73 pounds? If that's the case then I don't think there would be "thousands" of pounds of pressure inside the cabin holding the doors sealed.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 16, 2014 02:26 PM (BAS5M)

19 This is like learning or something. WTF!?!

Posted by: Kensington (@NYKensington) at April 16, 2014 02:27 PM (/AHDz)

20 This is how my snatch works--inverse pressure

Posted by: Sandra ( plug ) Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:28 PM (JyjXt)

21 "Warren Buffet is part of Bloomberg's new anti-gun group. So is form Joint Chief of Staffs Chairman Mike Mullen, Obama's favorite Admiral. The one who gutted the Navy."

Well, thanks to Mullen, the Littoral Combat Ships lack effective armament, so the guy is playing true to type.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 16, 2014 02:28 PM (noWW6)

22 Still don't want a psycho "trying" to open the door of a plane I'm on. Or spilling my drink.

Posted by: Seems legit at April 16, 2014 02:28 PM (Q6g1g)

23 And lets try and give engineers a modicum of credit, can we ? I mean, really. What would be one of THE critical design criteria for the door of an airplane that, when opened in flight, could kill everyone and cause the plane to crash ? Design criteria: Door does not open with the plane in flight. I think competent engineers could effectively design such a door and I put the odds at about 100% that they've already done so, certainly after having planes in the air for decades upon decades.

Posted by: deadrody at April 16, 2014 02:29 PM (+Dpo7)

24 What Happens When You Try to Open a Plane's Door at 30,000 Feet? It gets sucked into a woman's vagina.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 16, 2014 02:29 PM (YmXuG)

25 I was cutting the rug down at a place called The Jug....

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 16, 2014 02:29 PM (ZshNr)

26 PRO TIP: The back door works just fine.

Posted by: D.B. Cooper at April 16, 2014 02:29 PM (8ZskC)

27
Ever try to open a door on a train?
Easy as paste.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 16, 2014 02:29 PM (mETGQ)

28 I'll leave the rest of the calculations as an exercise for the reader. I hate that phrase so freaking much. Computer Science textbooks use it all the time. So they show you 3/4 of an idea, then say, "Hey, figure the rest out on your own." Does that fly in other Engineering disciplines? I mean do they put most of the rules of magnetism in a EE book then have you work out the rest on your own?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 02:30 PM (gtjN1)

29 My last flight was to Pittsburgh and back. It took longer to fly than it would have to drive. I will never fly again because it is simply too much hassle.
Posted by: Vic

You do realize that the newer planes no longer have 2 levels of wings, yes?

Posted by: Charles Lindbergh at April 16, 2014 02:30 PM (4nR9/)

30 Didn't they a stewardess get blown out of a door and killed on the runway because the Captain hadn't completely depressurized? Like She was holding onto it and it opened outward flinging her out of the plane. To her Death iirc

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:30 PM (7F9i5)

31 Waiter! There's a plane in my cooch!

Posted by: Some Twitter Chick With A Plane In Her Cooch at April 16, 2014 02:30 PM (8ZskC)

32 Posted by: Count de Monet at April 16, 2014 06:26 PM (BAS5M) 14.73 lbs/square inch

Posted by: BignJames at April 16, 2014 02:30 PM (HtUkt)

33 Get in mah cooter!

Posted by: 777 girl at April 16, 2014 02:31 PM (Fp7JI)

34 It could have been worse. We missed the Sarlacc by mere inches.

Posted by: A Tiny Pilot In A Tiny B777 at April 16, 2014 02:32 PM (8ZskC)

35 This was within the last 5 years iirc

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:32 PM (7F9i5)

36 I know plugs, and that ain't no plug.

Posted by: Sherriff Joe at April 16, 2014 02:32 PM (8MjqI)

37 So, I start reading this & I think, thanks Ace for the science article. Then it dawns on me I don't like to fly & I'm flying on May 2nd. Hope the plane has a plug door & no fricking wackos on board.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 16, 2014 02:32 PM (HVff2)

38 My last flight was to Pittsburgh and back. It took longer to fly than it would have to drive. I will never fly again because it is simply too much hassle. I once flew from Atlanta to Huntsville, AL. I arrived before I took off. You should've seen my hair...

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:32 PM (0HooB)

39 >>>PRO TIP: The back door works just fine. yeah, he opened the cargo doors. To do so, he first had to command the air crew to depressurize the cabin. That popular mechanics article mentions some new safeguard that (supposedly) prevents this, something about pilots not being able to cut the pressure or something.

Posted by: Tyrion Lannister, Master of Coin at April 16, 2014 02:33 PM (/FnUH)

40 I have loose morals!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:33 PM (/AHDz)

41 That's a fine figure of a flight attendant right there.

Posted by: MTF at April 16, 2014 02:33 PM (GOoUs)

42 oh I think he ordered the plane to fly lower, too, where the external air pressure was higher.

Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 02:33 PM (/FnUH)

43
You still have the issue of wind resistance of a plane cruising between 400-500 mph.

Posted by: YIKES! at April 16, 2014 02:34 PM (mETGQ)

44 Why didn't you come to me like a man and tell me a nood was up?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 16, 2014 02:34 PM (oFCZn)

45 It was a Dude. Probably Gay. Airbus 300 http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2000-11-21/news/0011210292_1_jose-chiu-fire-warning-light-landing Old story too. Surprised I remembered it

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:35 PM (7F9i5)

46 Also, there are (almost) no 727s anymore, so no more rear doors.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 02:35 PM (8ZskC)

47 44 Why didn't you come to me like a man and tell me a nood was up? Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 16, 2014 06:34 PM (oFCZn) Didn't know little buddy. Just got online myself

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (HVff2)

48 Why didn't you come to me like a man and tell me a nood was up?

I thought I was quaffing my root beer all alone on the last thread.

Posted by: HR at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (ZKzrr)

49 Those passengers sure have a festive demeanor. I wonder if that is a flight to Las Vegas. Those are the only flights I have been on where the passengers have that rowdy, have-a-good-time kind of attitude.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (IN7k+)

50 42 oh I think he ordered the plane to fly lower, too, where the external air pressure was higher. Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 06:33 PM (/FnUH) Yeah they had to fly at a certain altitude for him to jump. And he still died.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (YmXuG)

51 OT: early, I know, but I can't contain this anymore. There was a blurb at HA about the possibility that Mike Pence might make a run for preezy in '16. I was mildly interested until I read an article by Mark Krikorian at NRO. Turns out Pence is just another amnestia. I am so sick of this. Hey GOP, get it through your thick skulls. We know you're lying to us. We know when you say "no amnesty", you really mean amnesty.

Oh, and to Eric Cantor. Mickey Kaus outed your little ENLIST scam today. We know you're going to sell us out for a fistful of beans. Again, we know you're lying to us.

Please, all morons, call, just call, Cantor's office and register your disapproval, specifically as it pertains to ENLIST.

Posted by: pep at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (4nR9/)

52
Also, there are (almost) no 727s anymore, so no more rear doors.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 06:35 PM (8ZskC)

ahem

Posted by: Sandra Flule at April 16, 2014 02:36 PM (mETGQ)

53 Hey, can somebody loan me a dime?

Posted by: Detroit Mayor Mike Duggan at April 16, 2014 02:37 PM (GOoUs)

54 Yeah they had to fly at a certain altitude for him to jump. And he still died. Yeah. I died. *snort*

Posted by: D.B. Cooper at April 16, 2014 02:37 PM (8ZskC)

55 >>> 29 My last flight was to Pittsburgh and back. It took longer to fly than it would have to drive. I will never fly again because it is simply too much hassle. I wn' t go anywherethat'snamed after a nasty body part.

Posted by: Man from Manassas at April 16, 2014 02:37 PM (8MjqI)

56 Airline nerds arguing about the same shit 13 years ago http://www.airliners.net/aviation-forums/general_aviation/print.main?id=332866

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:37 PM (7F9i5)

57 " The inside of the plane is pressurized, and the outside is low-pressure; basically you have a thousand pounds of pressure holding the door shut."

This reminds me of a funny story about a Mexican buffet I used to frequent and a very friendly bus buy named Sanchez. I think that was his name...

Posted by: Barney Frank at April 16, 2014 02:38 PM (MNq6o)

Bloomberg wants to spend $50M a year to destroy the NRA. Claim is NRA only spends $20M a year.

Still think NRA will win.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 06:23 PM (ZPrif)

The difference is not the dollars.

It is the 5 million members, who get out and vote. And several million others that may not be members, but vote the same way.

It is the 100 people that show up to a city council meeting.

It is the 500 that show up to a state legislature COMMITTEE meeting.

It is the 5,000 that show up at the capitol for a rally in IL, NY, CT, PA, etc., etc.

It is the people that walk the entire district and hand out literature for a pro-2A candidate or against the gun control candidate.

Posted by: rd at April 16, 2014 02:39 PM (N7QgG)

59
It could have been worse. We missed the Sarlacc by mere inches.

Posted by: A Tiny Pilot In A Tiny B777 at April 16, 2014 06:32 PM (8ZskC)

That was some low flying.

Posted by: Little Man In The Boat at April 16, 2014 02:39 PM (mETGQ)

60 Air pressure at 8000 ft is 10.9 psi; at 15000 feet it is 8.3; difference 2.6 psi

If the door is approximately 7 feet tall and 3 feet wide, that's 21 square feet or about 3,000 square inches.

Multiply together to get the amount of force to pull open the door -- 7800 pounds of pull.

That's a VERY healthy adult.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2014 02:39 PM (wNF3N)

61 Sounds like he just ate shit

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:39 PM (7F9i5)

62 Popular Mechanics is lacking quality. When MH370 went missing, they said it wouldn't have happened had followed the findings of Air France 440 and regulated all aircraft to have ADS-B transponders. Except, MH370 did have an ADS-B transponder, and like the regular transponder, it was disabled. Now, a whole article about something not physically possible, not well explained, and the 1000 pounds is way off for 30000 feet pressure differential.

Posted by: Leland at April 16, 2014 02:40 PM (3R7WS)

63 The inside of the plane is pressurized, and the outside is low-pressure; basically you have a thousand pounds of pressure holding the door shut." Don't be so overconfident.

Posted by: Al Roker at April 16, 2014 02:40 PM (8ZskC)

64 Oh so the door has a power mode and he held on too long. It's a long way down

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:41 PM (7F9i5)

65 No excuse for dying going out the back of the 727. They used to bring one to the World Freefall Convention. Lost count of how many times I did that one, once at 300 knots.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at April 16, 2014 02:42 PM (L02KD)

66 Depending on the type of plane, it is possible to open a door in flight and exit therefrom. Don't ask me how I know.

Posted by: D. B. Cooper at April 16, 2014 02:42 PM (1mtKP)

67 I have to go to Augusta at the end of the month for a meeting. My company has a nice little website they use for making travel arrangements. There was no option for driving, it wanted me to fly. From Columbus, GA to ATL to change planes to Augusta and back. I called the local office "fix-it-all" admin chick. Yep, driving now.

Posted by: Country Singer at April 16, 2014 02:42 PM (sBXOp)

68 14.73 lbs/square inch Posted by: BignJames at April 16, 2014 06:30 PM (HtUkt) I'll take "What on my mind" for $1000, Alex.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:42 PM (0HooB)

69 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round?

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 02:42 PM (QupBk)

70 I've heard of the Aetalian submarine that had a screen door.

Posted by: Line. Sand. at April 16, 2014 02:43 PM (thLL8)

71 Isn't one atmosphere of pressure still just 14.73 pounds? If that's the case then I don't think there would be "thousands" of pounds of pressure inside the cabin holding the doors sealed. Posted by: Count de Monet at April 16, 2014 06:26 PM (BAS5M) That's pounds per square inch. You take the difference in pressure between the outside and the inside and multiply by the area of the door in square inches. Someone said a 2'X6' door is 1152 square inches. At 1 psi differential, that's 1152 pounds of force due to air pressure.

Posted by: Zombie John Gotti at April 16, 2014 02:43 PM (zT0DN)

72 What Happens When You Try to Open a Plane's Door at 30,000 Feet?

The Stew flips a switch and you take 100,000 volts to the hands.

Yeah, we'll taze you bro'.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:43 PM (d0Dmj)

73 UFC fight. Dude got KTFO Never a good sign when you wake up and try to choke out the ref. http://gfycat.com/TartTerribleDromedary

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 02:44 PM (ZPrif)

74 US Airways unavailable for comment...

Posted by: Foghorn Leghorn at April 16, 2014 02:44 PM (l0lja)

75 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round?

So they don't fall down the shaft. Slightly bigger than the hole.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:44 PM (d0Dmj)

76 My last flight was to Pittsburgh and back. It took longer to fly than it would have to drive. I will never fly again because it is simply too much hassle. Posted by: Vic at April 16, 2014 06:24 PM ................Yea, those Curtis Jenny's only make about 70 kts. I bet the oil on your goggles got annoying too.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 02:44 PM (/KiIU)

77 I'm no physicalist, but I'm pretty sure the difference between the cabin and outside air pressure is what makes the plane fly.

Posted by: mugiwara at April 16, 2014 02:44 PM (3a584)

78 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? Oooh, ooh, pick me, pick me! I know!

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:45 PM (0HooB)

79 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? Posted by: toby928Â© at April 16, 2014 06:42 PM ......................I'll have Chris Matthews call and explain it you sailor.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 02:45 PM (/KiIU)

80 69 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? Posted by: toby928Â© at April 16, 2014 06:42 PM (QupBk) So they can't fall through and onto the man's head.

Posted by: Buzzion at April 16, 2014 02:45 PM (YmXuG)

81 Slightly bigger than the hole.

TWSS.

Posted by: HR at April 16, 2014 02:45 PM (ZKzrr)

82 Lost count of how many times I did that one, once at 300 knots. Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at April 16, 2014 06:42 PM (L02KD) And here I thought a C-17 was bad. 300 kts. Holy shit.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:45 PM (yz6yg)

83 69 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round?

Posted by: toby928Â© at April 16, 2014 06:42 PM (QupBk)

++++

If they were square, they wouldn't fit in the hole.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 16, 2014 02:46 PM (IN7k+)

84 OT Fuckity Fuck. almost 8" of global warming today. Fuck you Gaia!

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 02:46 PM (/KiIU)

85 "Bloomberg wants to spend $50M a year to destroy the NRA. Claim is NRA only spends $20M a year."

Hahaha. Rich megalomaniac narcissistic idiot thinks to change peoples minds you just need a lot of money. Typical limo lib.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:46 PM (MNq6o)

86 I would just deem the door open.

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at April 16, 2014 02:46 PM (wNF3N)

87 >>>Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? So they don't fall down the shaft. Slightly bigger than the hole. ... right but they're specifically not square. You can angle a square such that it will easily pass through the long diagonal between opposing corners. But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same.

Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 02:47 PM (/FnUH)

88 I'm no physicalist, but I'm pretty sure the difference between the cabin and outside air pressure is what makes the plane fly. Posted by: mugiwara at April 16, 2014 06:44 PM (3a584) Ummmmmm. No. I am insulted.

Posted by: Daniel Bernoulli [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:47 PM (yz6yg)

89 If they were square, they wouldn't fit in the hole. Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 16, 2014 06:46 PM .....The government probably spent millions researching that.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 02:47 PM (/KiIU)

90 Our doors are sealed with snail trails

Posted by: US airways at April 16, 2014 02:47 PM (nTgAI)

91 Momma always told us that if you opened the door in flight, hair would grow on the back of your hand. Or you'd go blind.

Posted by: 15 yr old boy at April 16, 2014 02:47 PM (l0lja)

92 If the door is approximately 7 feet tall and 3 feet wide, that's 21 square feet or about 3,000 square inches. Where do you get 7'? A Boeing 777 has doors 72" by 42". That's a roomy door as far as planes go. The PS article claims 1000lbs suction. If the door opens inward, and you rig some straps to the door handle, there are guys that can generate 1000 lbs of pull.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 02:48 PM (gtjN1)

93 right but they're specifically not square. You can angle a square such that it will easily pass through the long diagonal between opposing corners.

But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same.

Well, yeah. When you say it like that. :-)

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:48 PM (d0Dmj)

94 84 OT Fuckity Fuck. almost 8" of global warming today. Fuck you Gaia! Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 06:46 PM (/KiIU) Hey neighbor, I hear ya. Drove in whiteout conditions earlier today. Saw the Wild Sunday night. Goaltending sucks

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 16, 2014 02:48 PM (HVff2)

95 I'm insulted too. It's one week of detention for you.

Posted by: Bernoulli's Principal at April 16, 2014 02:48 PM (8ZskC)

96 http://tinyurl.com/prfelf7

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at April 16, 2014 02:48 PM (L02KD)

97 Zakn @ 30 You might be thinking of Aloha Airlines flight 243. She didn't get blown out of the door though - metal fatigue caused a large section of the roof of the 737 to give way and she was the only fatality. The plane was able to land safely. RIP C.B. Lansing.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 02:49 PM (nPMjI)

98 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? Posted by: toby928Â©

Cover my manhole? Never! And I've been told mine's star shaped. But that was quite a while ago...

Posted by: Barney Frank at April 16, 2014 02:49 PM (MNq6o)

99 84 OT Fuckity Fuck. almost 8" of global warming today. Fuck you Gaia! --- I though Gaia was a woman... he/she gave you 8"?

Posted by: Northern MN Moron at April 16, 2014 02:49 PM (l0lja)

100 "Still think NRA will win."

If NRA were in fact destroyed, and replaced by tougher and more determined successor organizations on gun rights, that would not be unwelcome around these parts.

Former NRA supporter here. I gave up on them after their habit of supporting the likes of Dingy Harry.

The NRA brass splutter and fume and wave their hands and say, "Well, Senator Reid votes our line when asked to."

Yeah, he does that in front of the cameras, and then goes backstage where he works diligently to advance the entire liberal agenda, including gun control, and including packing the federal courts with gun-banning leftist lunatics. Not buying that crap any longer, sorry.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 16, 2014 02:49 PM (noWW6)

101 But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same. And you, sir or madam as the case may be, have won a one-year Platinum Subscription to Ace of Spades HQ. And a lifetime supply of &&&&&&&.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:50 PM (0HooB)

102 I'm insulted too. It's one week of detention for you. Posted by: Bernoulli's Principal at April 16, 2014 06:48 PM (8ZskC) Well played, sir. Well played.

Posted by: Sean Bannion [/i][/b][/s][/u] at April 16, 2014 02:50 PM (yz6yg)

103 >>> 67 I have to go to Augusta at the end of the month for a meeting. My company has a nice little website they use for making travel arrangements. There was no option for driving, it wanted me to fly. From Columbus, GA to ATL to change planes to Augusta and back. Look at all those airports. I guess my government-funded land reclamation project wasn't bad after all. End justifies the means, and all that.

Posted by: Zombie W. T. Sherman at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (8MjqI)

104 Why does everything have to be so complicated these days? Just turn the knob, dude.

Posted by: Joe "Whiffle Balls" Biden at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (eAJwE)

105 That Air Force One movie would have been anticlimactic if after telling that guy to "get off my plane" Harrison Ford struggled trying to open the door for like the whole last 15 minutes.

Posted by: Gristle Encased Head at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (+lsX1)

106 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? More importantly, how much does one cost and how soon can it be delivered?

Posted by: Death Star Maintenance Unit No. 21334 at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (8ZskC)

107 Airplane doors open outwards.

1st they open inwards, then swing outwards.

Posted by: Paladin at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (DPvCq)

108 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? 1. They're not all round. Some storm drain types "manholes" are rectangular. 2. What others said, the width of a round manhole cover is the same no matter the orientation. 3. A cylinder is great at resisting compression. So a cylindrical shaft resists more destructive force if there is movement in the earth.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (gtjN1)

109 If NRA were in fact destroyed, and replaced by tougher and more determined successor organizations on gun rights, that would not be unwelcome around these parts.

JPFO
Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership
http://jpfo.org/

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:51 PM (d0Dmj)

110 there are guys that can generate 1000 lbs of pull.

That's all?

Posted by: Sandy Fluke at April 16, 2014 02:52 PM (ZKzrr)

111 101 But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same. And you, sir or madam as the case may be, have won a one-year Platinum Subscription to Ace of Spades HQ. And a lifetime supply of &&&&&&&. Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 16, 2014 06:50 PM (0HooB) Go reread the post. It was ace. I don't think he needs free memberships

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 16, 2014 02:52 PM (HVff2)

112 there are guys that can generate 1000 lbs of pull.

That's all?
Posted by: Sandy Fluke

They said pull, not suck.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:53 PM (d0Dmj)

113 And you, sir or madam as the case may be, have won a one-year Platinum Subscription to Ace of Spades HQ. And a lifetime supply of &&&&&&&. Heh. Ace wins a Platinum Membership to his own club.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 02:53 PM (QupBk)

114 92 >> Where do you get 7'? A Boeing 777 has doors 72" by 42". That's a roomy door as far as planes go.

Er, guessing? Interestingly enough, your exact dimensions yield the same same square footage, 21 sq. ft or 3,024 sq inches, as my guesstimate.

So what if I haven't actually been on a plane in 10 years.

Posted by: Nancy Pelosi at April 16, 2014 02:53 PM (wNF3N)

115 >>>Airplane doors open outwards. 1st they open inwards, then swing outwards. I'm going to have to insist that people actually read the article before rushing to correct: From my post: Main doors have a tricky hinge, that requires opening it in two stages: First, the door must be moved inward. Because the door has to be opened inward, it's at this stage that the high pressure of the cabin is helping keeping it sealed shut -- the pressure is pushing the door outward, and a person trying to open it at altitude would have to fight the air pressure to pull it back. Once it's been moved inward, the hinge now permits it to move outward into the fully open position. Apparently the door can tilt or rotate on the hinge such that it can now move through the door-space, even though it's actually too big for the space. (Much as you can get a couch through a doorway by angling it.)

Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 02:53 PM (/FnUH)

116 @107 Sometimes they just swing outwards, like the cargo doors on DC-10's. When they're not locked properly, bad things happen. See Turkish Airlines flight 981.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 02:53 PM (nPMjI)

117 And you, sir or madam as the case may be, have won a one-year Platinum Subscription to Ace of Spades HQ. And a lifetime supply of &&&&&&&.

Heh. Ace wins a Platinum Membership to his own club.

Maybe, that way, when he bans himself, he can get back in.........

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 02:54 PM (d0Dmj)

118 More trivia: What am I holding in my hand right now? Better hurry! I'm about to get off!

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:54 PM (MNq6o)

119 I enjoyed the bit about angling the couch, Ace.

Posted by: Couch Fucker at April 16, 2014 02:54 PM (8ZskC)

120 >>>Sometimes they just swing outwards, like the cargo doors on DC-10's. When they're not locked properly, bad things happen. See Turkish Airlines flight 981. yup.

Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 02:55 PM (/FnUH)

121 More trivia: What am I holding in my hand right now? Better hurry! I'm about to get off!
Posted by: Dang

The phone, sillies!

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:55 PM (MNq6o)

122 If a window on a plane disappeared, could Barbara Mikulski be sucked through it, or would she plug the hole?

Posted by: Baldy at April 16, 2014 02:55 PM (2bql3)

123 Gosh, that was fun.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:55 PM (MNq6o)

124 Gran @97 Read the stuff further down. I got to it and posted 2 links. 1 news story, 1 forum posts. The forum post talked about how the door has a power mode and flings you out if you hold on to it. Thats what flung him out of the Cabin, not the pressure difference.

Posted by: Zakn at April 16, 2014 02:55 PM (7F9i5)

125 I still don't get using a couch as an airplane door. I'll have to see it to believe it.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 16, 2014 02:56 PM (8ZskC)

126

More trivia: What am I holding in my hand right now? Better hurry! I'm about to get off!

Posted by: Dang

A pen you Bozos

Posted by: Barackahnaten at April 16, 2014 02:56 PM (nTgAI)

127 More trivia: What am I holding in my hand right now? Better hurry! I'm about to get off! First I have to guess what's in its nasty pocket. That's not a riddle! Now I have to guess what's in its nasty hand!

Posted by: Gollum[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 02:56 PM (gtjN1)

128 100 "Still think NRA will win."

If NRA were in fact destroyed, and replaced by tougher and more determined successor organizations on gun rights, that would not be unwelcome around these parts.

Former NRA supporter here. I gave up on them after their habit of supporting the likes of Dingy Harry.

The NRA brass splutter and fume and wave their hands and say, "Well, Senator Reid votes our line when asked to."

Yeah, he does that in front of the cameras, and then goes backstage where he works diligently to advance the entire liberal agenda, including gun control, and including packing the federal courts with gun-banning leftist lunatics. Not buying that crap any longer, sorry.

Posted by: torquewrench at April 16, 2014 06:49 PM (noWW6)

++++

There was a time when that was a good strategy for the NRA. Back when there used to be Blue Dog Democrats and others who were not anti-gun. The NRA, being a single issue organization, was happy to get support from both sides of the aisle on their one issue.

But, that time is past. The Democrats have become monolithic in worshiping their god of Progressiveness, and they are all bad for gun rights (and all other civil rights, when you get down to it).

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 16, 2014 02:56 PM (IN7k+)

129 I though Gaia was a woman... he/she gave you 8"? Posted by: Northern MN Moron at April 16, 2014 06:49 PM .She's bossy!

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 02:56 PM (/KiIU)

130 On the subject of airliner doors, I have never understood why they haven't added a separate door for the flight crew, so that there is no way in from the passenger cabin, to prevent hijackings. And only one-way communication between the two parts. The pilots can make an announcement, but no demands can be relayed to them. Just a button on the bulkhead that the stewards can push that lights up a sign in the cockpit that says Land Now.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 02:57 PM (QupBk)

131 I though Gaia was a woman... he/she gave you 8"?

Posted by: Northern MN Moron

Filthy tranny.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:57 PM (MNq6o)

132 Short answer: It's due to wizardry. Also, flight attendants are witches.

Posted by: The Political Hat at April 16, 2014 02:57 PM (CTCNK)

133 The federal agency that backed down over the weekend in a tense standoff with a Nevada rancher is being accused of leaving a trail of wreckage behind.

Fox News toured the damage Â— allegedly caused by the Bureau of Land Management Â— which included holes in water tanks and destroyed water lines and fences. According to family friends, the bureauÂ’s hired Â“cowboysÂ” also killed two prize bulls.

<snip>

On a Friday night conference call, BLM officials told reporters that Â“illegal structuresÂ” on BundyÂ’s ranch Â— water tanks, water lines and corrals Â— had to be removed to Â“restoreÂ” the land to its natural state and prevent the rancher from restarting his illegal cattle operation.

Via WZ

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2014 02:58 PM (wNF3N)

134 Couch Fucker I'd forgotten about those guys. Someone should repost the video.

Posted by: Harrison Bergeron at April 16, 2014 02:58 PM (eAJwE)

135 How does NRA justify supporting Reid when he got anti-gun zealots Kagan and Sotomayor confirmed? So they support Democrats that won't vote for anti-gun laws -- but will stack SCOTUS with judges that will destroy the 2nd amendment.

Posted by: Costanza Defense at April 16, 2014 02:58 PM (ZPrif)

136 Wasn't Goldfinger sucked out a jet window? Pretty sure that shit was real.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 02:59 PM (MNq6o)

137 Another similar case was British Airways Flight 5390. A cockpit window blew out and they almost lost the captain. A maintenance worker had used the wrong screws.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 02:59 PM (nPMjI)

138 On the subject of airliner doors, I have never understood why they haven't added a separate door for the flight crew, so that there is no way in from the passenger cabin, to prevent hijackings. Maybe there's no room for a different door? Or institutional momentum has kept them building a door where it's always been?

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 03:00 PM (gtjN1)

139 >>>Wasn't Goldfinger sucked out a jet window? Pretty sure that shit was real. it actually was real. Fleming almost certainly got this idea from a real-life incident of someone being sucked out a window of a DC-3 (or some other 50's plane) a few years before he wrote the novel.

Posted by: ace at April 16, 2014 03:00 PM (/FnUH)

140 On the subject of airliner doors, I have never understood why they haven't added a separate door for the flight crew, so that there is no way in from the passenger cabin, to prevent hijackings. The crew could just piss out the window.

Posted by: Joe Biden at April 16, 2014 03:01 PM (8ZskC)

141 A few weeks back, I flew back from CA for a project I was doing. I had worked 14 hour days and was dead ass tired. The woman's dog. Yes I said dog, and not a service dog. Barked the whole fucking flight. I would have loved to ask fluffy if she wanted to go outside at 30,000 feet.

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 03:02 PM (/KiIU)

142 The crew could just piss out the window. That's why God gave us 2 liter coke bottles.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:02 PM (QupBk)

143 I'm going to have to insist that people actually read the article before rushing to correct:

But that makes it so much harder to be the first one.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at April 16, 2014 03:02 PM (IN7k+)

144 The crew could just piss out the window.

That's why God gave us 2 liter coke bottles.

Just install piss tubes.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 03:03 PM (d0Dmj)

145
Couch Fucker

Sounds like a Iggy Pop song.

Posted by: YIKES! at April 16, 2014 03:03 PM (mETGQ)

146 "You can angle a square such that it will easily pass through the long diagonal between opposing corners. But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same." Look at you all geometry knowing and stuff. 😜 I see why yer the boss....

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 16, 2014 03:03 PM (60Vyp)

147 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round? Because if they were woman hole covers they'd be elliptical?

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 16, 2014 03:03 PM (8MjqI)

148 That's why God gave us 2 liter coke bottles. Crap. I forgot about DiversityÂ™.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:04 PM (QupBk)

149 So when you flush a toilet on a plane is that the cabin pressure that makes that horrid slurping sound? You know, it's all like, phwaaaapah.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 03:05 PM (MNq6o)

150 I don't understand. Was there a movie about high altitude aircraft doors and this was Ace's review?

Posted by: Epobirs at April 16, 2014 03:06 PM (bPxS6)

151 Well because the crew needs access to the bathroom and also at least something to drink if not eat and on longer flights crew members leave the cockpit to sleep (like long haul overseas flights if the planes are equipped for it). Plus I would imagine aerodynamics decline with another door.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlinSeattle at April 16, 2014 03:06 PM (RZ8pf)

152 I'm going to have to insist that people actually read the article before rushing to correct. Fascist.

Posted by: rickl at April 16, 2014 03:06 PM (sdi6R)

153 Plastic screws? Imagine I'm in a plane crash, miraculously we're on the ground and I have about 30 seconds to get out ahead of the fire that always comes. All I have to do is open that emergency door, so I yank on it as hard as I can - and the goddam handle breaks off because some goddamed a-hole thought it was a smart idea to put plastic screws in the thing, instead of steel. Even in the afterlife, I'm gonna find that sucker and hunt him down.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 16, 2014 03:07 PM (8Fa5Z)

154 Another episode from the improperly closed cargo door series: United Flight 811. 9 passengers were blown out of a 747 when the door failed. At least some of them were sucked into the engines on their way out.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 03:07 PM (nPMjI)

155 I'm going to have to insist that people actually read the article before rushing to correct. Fascist. Posted by: rickl Factist!!!!

Posted by: thunderb at April 16, 2014 03:08 PM (zOTsN)

156 I don't understand. Was there a movie about high altitude aircraft doors and this was Ace's review?

Posted by: Epobirs

Sucks on a Plane. Ace liked it. I haven't seen it.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 03:08 PM (MNq6o)

157 >>> 149 So when you flush a toilet on a plane is that the cabin pressure that makes that horrid slurping sound? You know, it's all like, phwaaaapah. Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 07:05 PM (MNq6o) No, it's because it's a Furgusson.

Posted by: Al Bundy at April 16, 2014 03:08 PM (8MjqI)

158 Well because the crew needs access to the bathroom and also at least something to drink if not eat and on longer flights crew members leave the cockpit to sleep (like long haul overseas flights if the planes are equipped for it). These are trivial objections. Move the forward bulkhead back two rows of seats so there is a head and bunk in the cockpit area. Or make the plan a few feet longer. On a retrofit, just make the current door the pilots door and add a second door aft behind the new bulkhead.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:08 PM (QupBk)

159 I'm going to have to insist that people actually read the article before rushing to correct.

Fascist.

Bossy.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 03:08 PM (d0Dmj)

160 At least some of them were sucked into the engines on their way out. The lucky ones.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:09 PM (QupBk)

161 Had a gross experience on our flight back from NYC with a violently ill man. He spent 20 minutes in the bathroom, later I was using it and he tried to get in, when I got out he was crouched in the corner by the door to the airplane vomiting continuously into a big plastic bag. He went back in the bathroom for another 20 minutes. My son is terrified the guy had some weird disease. He did look like an old peace corps hippie.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlinSeattle at April 16, 2014 03:11 PM (RZ8pf)

162 154>> At least some of them were sucked into the engines on their way out.

It's just a flesh wound.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2014 03:11 PM (wNF3N)

163 These are trivial objections. Move the forward bulkhead back two rows of seats so there is a head and bunk in the cockpit area. OR... They could just keep the pilots on the ground. They could fly the plane remotely from a comfy lounge and any hijackers would be SOL. I'd ride in a drone if the price was right.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 03:12 PM (8ZskC)

164 "You can angle a square such that it will easily pass through the long diagonal between opposing corners. But you can't do that with a circle -- no matter how you orient it, the diameter is always the same." Look at you all geometry knowing and stuff. 😜 I see why yer the boss.... Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 16, 2014 07:03 PM (60Vyp) Oh, you Euclidean-normative silly person!

Posted by: Yog-Sothoth at April 16, 2014 03:13 PM (XvHmy)

165 160>> That's pretty subjective. Passing through a Quisenart or passing out from hypoxic before becoming a stain on the ground...

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 16, 2014 03:13 PM (60Vyp)

166 Game on!

Playoffs started. Canadiens vs Lightning on CNBC.

Posted by: Hate Miser at April 16, 2014 03:13 PM (08jH8)

167 @160 The plane was able to land safely in Hawaii (where it had departed from) with no other deaths.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 03:13 PM (nPMjI)

168 Anyway, I think my pilot's door idea is a simple and elegant way to prevent hijackings entirely. **pat's himself on the back since no one else will**

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:14 PM (QupBk)

169 effin apostrophies! How do they work?!?

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:14 PM (QupBk)

170 166 Game on! Playoffs started. Canadiens vs Lightning on CNBC. Posted by: Hate Miser at April 16, 2014 07:13 PM (08jH

Go Habs

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at April 16, 2014 03:15 PM (HVff2)

171 testing

Posted by: Is this something? at April 16, 2014 03:15 PM (qQk+U)

172 "effin apostrophies! How do they work?!?" The inverse of commas?

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 16, 2014 03:16 PM (60Vyp)

173 Just install piss tubes. Posted by: rickb223 at April 16, 2014 07:03 PM Pitot tubes

Posted by: Minnfidel at April 16, 2014 03:16 PM (/KiIU)

174 More benefits of the drone idea: More space for revenue-generating seats. Pilots can work eight-hour shifts, then be switched out with fresh replacements Don't need to feed the pilots because, vending machines Putting aircrews up in hotels is expensive It's coming. It makes too much sense.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 03:16 PM (8ZskC)

175 Is the word *chimichanga* still offensive at this site ?

Posted by: Is this something? at April 16, 2014 03:16 PM (qQk+U)

176 It's coming. It makes too much sense. I think that's as bad an idea as the wings-fall-off button.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:17 PM (QupBk)

177 @173 You don't want clogged pitot tubes. See Air France 447, Birgenair 301.

Posted by: Gran at April 16, 2014 03:18 PM (nPMjI)

178 At least some of them were sucked into the engines on their way out.

The lucky ones. Posted by: toby928Â©

I'd rather enjoy the lengthy fall. Do some flips and spins and stuff. Try to learn how to hover real quick or something.

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 03:18 PM (MNq6o)

179 Hey! What's that mountain goat doing up here in a cloud back?

Posted by: famous last words at April 16, 2014 03:18 PM (QupBk)

180 I don't understand. My internet research shows those stewardesses should be in lingerie and doing passengers. I guess I'll have to get a subscription to Scientific American now.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 16, 2014 03:18 PM (hn5v5)

181 or bank either or

Posted by: famous last words at April 16, 2014 03:18 PM (QupBk)

182 fuck it.

Posted by: famous last words at April 16, 2014 03:19 PM (QupBk)

183 174 It's coming. It makes too much sense. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 07:16 PM (8ZskC) Great idea!

Posted by: Hackers everywhere at April 16, 2014 03:19 PM (sdi6R)

184 I'd rather enjoy the lengthy fall. Do some flips and spins and stuff. Try to learn how to hover real quick or something. Also, test Galileo's theory by comparing your rate of descent to a fat guy's.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 03:19 PM (8ZskC)

185 I'd rather enjoy the lengthy fall. Do some flips and spins and stuff. Try to learn how to hover real quick or something.
Flap your arms. It couldn't hurt.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 16, 2014 03:19 PM (hn5v5)

186 The problem with flying into a cloud is that you never know if it's one of those clouds with a rocky center.

Posted by: Patsy Cline at April 16, 2014 03:20 PM (oFCZn)

187 I'd rather enjoy the lengthy fall. Do some flips and spins and stuff. Try to learn how to hover real quick or something. Either way you end up naked.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:20 PM (QupBk)

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (oFCZn)

189 185 Flap your arms. It couldn't hurt. Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2014 07:19 PM (hn5v5) You could dislocate a shoulder. Then you'd die in agony.

Posted by: rickl at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (sdi6R)

190 I'd rather enjoy the lengthy fall. Do some flips and spins and stuff. Try to learn how to hover real quick or something.

Also, test Galileo's theory by comparing your rate of descent to a fat guy's. Posted by: Cicero (@cicero)

If I see a fat guy anywhere near me I'm climbing aboard and riding him into the ground.

Man, that sounded really bad, didn't it?

Posted by: Dang at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (MNq6o)

191 Fap your penis, it can't hurt.

Posted by: Is this something? at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (qQk+U)

192 I knew that was SouthWest Airlines before I even started the video. The gag's their gig. "Please leave your seatbelts on until we taxi what's left of the airplane to the terminal." (checks clock, waiting for phone call)

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith[/i] [/b] [/s] [/u] at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (qyfb5)

193 Also, test Galileo's theory by comparing your rate of descent to a fat guy's. Laden or unladen?

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 03:21 PM (0HooB)

194 If I see a fat guy anywhere near me I'm climbing aboard and riding him into the ground. NTTATWWT.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:22 PM (QupBk)

195 Fap your penis, it can't hurt. It would be vibrating so fast in the slipstream you won't be able to catch it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 03:23 PM (8ZskC)

196 That does remind me of that Elaine line from Seinfeld: We were making out like our plane was going down.

Posted by: toby928© at April 16, 2014 03:23 PM (QupBk)

197 >>> Flap your arms. It couldn't hurt. Posted by: andycanuck at April 16, 2014 07:19 PM (hn5v5) Darwin said it worked at least once.

Posted by: bergerbilder at April 16, 2014 03:23 PM (8MjqI)

198 OK, so about the pressurization. An airliner flying at 8,000 ft is definitely pressurized. The pressurization schedule begins either right before or after takeoff, depending on the type of aircraft. At 8,000 feet the cabin differential is maybe 1.5-2.0 PSI, giving you a cabin altitude of around 1,000 feet. The cabin altitude only climbs up to 6,000 feet or so up at high altitude (FL 350 or so) and by then the cabin differential is about 8.5-9.0 PSI. So even at 8,000 feet, a door with 1400 in sq of area will require (1400 x 1.5) 2100 lbs of force to pull inward. Up at altitude it is more like 11,900 lbs of force. And that is a small door - 50" x 28".

Posted by: pilot141 at April 16, 2014 03:24 PM (nPwzA)

199 Try to learn how to hover real quick or something.

If you are wearing baggy clothes and you're really good a descent rate of only 100 MPH is possible. Aim for some nice soft global warming.

Posted by: SpongeBobSaget at April 16, 2014 03:24 PM (L02KD)

200 Rox-anne, you don't have to put on the red light...

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 16, 2014 03:24 PM (ZshNr)

201 If you are wearing baggy clothes and you're really good a descent rate of only 100 MPH is possible. Aim for some nice soft global warming. Or if that's not possible, a Prius.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at April 16, 2014 03:25 PM (8ZskC)

202 It would be vibrating so fast in the slipstream you won't be able to catch it. My guitar playing buddy showed me the vid of the naked female skydiver last week. "phbhphbphbphbphbphbphb..."

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 03:26 PM (0HooB)

203 Laden or unladen?
Depends on whether Dang is humping him or not.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 16, 2014 03:26 PM (hn5v5)

204 You could dislocate a shoulder. Then you'd die in agony.
Then hitting the ground would be a relief.

Posted by: [/i]andycanuck[/b] at April 16, 2014 03:28 PM (hn5v5)

205 >> If you are wearing baggy clothes and you're really good a descent rate of only 100 MPH is possible. Aim for some nice soft global warming.

>>>> Or if that's not possible, a Prius.

Occupied, of course.

Posted by: GnuBreed at April 16, 2014 03:28 PM (wNF3N)

206 My guitar playing buddy showed me the vid of the naked female skydiver last week. "phbhphbphbphbphbphbphb..." Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit at April 16, 2014 07:26 PM (0HooB) You drop that right out in the open with no link? Who are you people and what did you do to the real morons?

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at April 16, 2014 03:28 PM (oFCZn)

207 I learned long ago to wear my parachute at all times when I fly. Yes, I get some odd looks but usually after my third scotch I don't care anymore.

Posted by: John McCain at April 16, 2014 03:28 PM (GOoUs)

208 Some stewardess chick in Europe survived a 32,000 foot fall. Mangled but alive.

Posted by: Baron Von Ottomatic at April 16, 2014 03:29 PM (uhMMS)

209 Not naming names, but some of the Airborne guys would demonstrate the proper way to land, bending your knees, falling sideways, from our barracks windows, but only in the snow.

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 16, 2014 03:29 PM (ZshNr)

210 Lightning strike. 1-0.

Posted by: Hate Miser at April 16, 2014 03:30 PM (08jH8)

211 And just like that. Now 1-1.

Posted by: Hate Miser at April 16, 2014 03:30 PM (08jH8)

212 You drop that right out in the open with no link? In my defense, I watched it on his cellphone. At my advanced age, I can't see the links on those displays. We all did, however, laugh our asses off.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy, who did not vote for this shit [/i][/s][/b][/u] at April 16, 2014 03:31 PM (0HooB)

213 Ooooooh.oooooh.oh.oohhhhhh. Come on and dance....

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 16, 2014 03:32 PM (ZshNr)

214 All this talk of holes and pushing is making me hungry.... *makes that horrid slurping sound....phwaaaapah*

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 16, 2014 03:33 PM (60Vyp)

215 Wharrgarble NSFW http://tinyurl.com/ojjpbvr

Posted by: pilot141 at April 16, 2014 03:34 PM (nPwzA)

216 Sister Christian, oh the time has come...

Posted by: Lincolntf at April 16, 2014 03:35 PM (ZshNr)

217 "phbhphbphbphbphbphbphb..." Is that the sound of her mammaries flapping in the breeze? Sounds awfully uncomfortable.

Posted by: bonhomme[/i][/b][/s][/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 03:37 PM (gtjN1)

218 I'm from an airline family and usually a model passenger, but years ago on a Mexicana flight I freaked out and told the flight attendant the door was making a weird noise like it was going to open. She brusquely told me es imposible. That was only after the plane had run out of vodka and the pilots had aimed us right for a thunderhead, apparently just for fun. Wheee! Plus on the ground in Mexico City we had all been switched to another airplane and discovered that our fellow passengers didn't understand the concept of getting in line. All the staff and most of the passengers were rude. To be fair, that was my only bad experience on that airline.

Posted by: stace at April 16, 2014 03:40 PM (9PXzx)

219 Nope. Think lower.

Posted by: pilot141 at April 16, 2014 03:40 PM (nPwzA)

220 ...or you just punch through the door, spread your fingers, get a handful, and pull that sucker right out the hole. Zod doesn't listen to the in-flight instruction, he fakes it!

Posted by: General Zod at April 16, 2014 03:41 PM (2+bRt)

221 >>Just install piss tubes. Posted by: rickb223 They are actually called relief tubes. Kind of a funnel on a hose with a valve.

Posted by: Aviator at April 16, 2014 03:42 PM (3rrMW)

222 That is hilarious.

Posted by: rickl at April 16, 2014 03:42 PM (sdi6R)

223 No such thing as negative pressure since pressure is an absolute value. Back to lurker-ing .

Posted by: tlc, real airline pendant at April 16, 2014 04:14 PM (iViyu)

224 I have never understood why they haven't added a separate door for the flight crew,

No need and no room.

Posted by: DaveA[/i][/b][/s] at April 16, 2014 04:14 PM (DL2i+)

225 Ace of Spades: Taking 1,000+ words to explain to his readership how a plane door works... when every reader here has seen for themselves how a plane door works.

Tomorrow at the HQ: "Sunrises- how do they work?"

Posted by: Trucker at April 16, 2014 05:25 PM (Ed+yP)

226 Having skipped all the comments, I'm puttin' this out here for Science!

Here's a page with a handy-dandy table for air pressure at various altitudes. It shows the pressure at 8000 ft (cabin pressure) as 10.9 psia. If the plane is actually flying at 35000 feet (normal), the air pressure outside is 3.46 psia -- giving a difference of 7.44 psi.

Now for the fun part. How big is the door? Let's say, just for fun, that it's six-and-a-half feet high and two-and-a-half feet across. That's 78 inches by 30 inches, or 2340 inches. At a 7.44 psi differential, you'd need about 17,400 pounds of force to open that door.

Posted by: cthulhu at April 16, 2014 05:32 PM (T1005)

227 HALO

Posted by: Burnt Taost at April 16, 2014 05:34 PM (NaeCR)

228 Now for the fun part. How big is the door? Let's say, just for fun, that it's six-and-a-half feet high and two-and-a-half feet across. That's 78 inches by 30 inches, or 2340 inches. At a 7.44 psi differential, you'd need about 17,400 pounds of force to open that door.
Posted by: cthulhu

Bet you tap it with a hammer at the right spot it will open.

Posted by: Burnt Taost at April 16, 2014 05:37 PM (NaeCR)

229 Other trivia questions: Why are manhole covers round?

Actually - they are called 'service holes' now because 'person hole' sounds vulgar.

Posted by: Burnt Taost at April 16, 2014 05:54 PM (NaeCR)

230 As the engines run up for takeoff, the cabin pressurizes to ambient + 0.5 psi. That creates 1500 pounds of force on the door locking pins. The door won't open because there is too much load on the mechanism. (See also, jamming a door by shoving pennies between the door and the frame.)

Posted by: Clutch Cargo at April 16, 2014 06:28 PM (oj/2P)

231 The CRJ main door, and other airplanes with simple airstairs, is not a plug door. It's a straight swing up airstair with a piano hinge at the bottom and shear pins up the sides for locking. You can't open it while pressurized because the pressure on the door is about 20000 lbs and the shear load on the smooth sided pins so high they are more or less seized, so you couldn't draw them out even if you stood on the handle. The operating handle would break before it could withdraw the lock pins.

The max pressure differential for high alt transports is 8.5 psi which gives an 8000 ft cabin at 41000 ft, so the load on any door or window is about 8.5 times the sq/in. That means those little plastic side windows have the weight of a Harley and a half pushing on them.

Posted by: Dakota435 at April 16, 2014 06:41 PM (EP1tB)

232 "These are trivial objections. Move the forward bulkhead back two rows of seats so there is a head and bunk in the cockpit area. Or make the plan a few feet longer. On a retrofit, just make the current door the pilots door and add a second door aft behind the new bulkhead."

They aren't so trivial objections. I work with interior configurations for an airline manufacturer. Airlines will spend millions to get an additional 2 seats on an airplane. Why? Because over the life of the airplane it's more profitable. They aren't going to give up 3-4 rows of seats in order to create an additional door and add a lavatory for the pilots only.

Also, some long haul planes carry an entire extra crew. They have a crew rest area that can sleep up to 10 people. They had to stuff that into the ceiling areas above the seats. They can't do that at the front of the airplane.

If the pilots really need to get out of the airplane without going through the passenger cabin, there is a cockpit window that can be opened and an escape ladder they can use.

Posted by: Ken at April 17, 2014 08:34 AM (Xq2WY)

233 >PRO TIP: The back door works just fine.

That's what I said!

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at April 17, 2014 08:58 AM (kmvkg)

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