January 29, 2010
— Gabriel Malor As voted by Empire readers. It's one of those awful things where you have to click through every damn page to see each one, so I've summarized the top (bottom) ten for you (you see how much I care?):
(10) THE ROOM
(9) HIGHLANDER 2: THE QUICKENING
(
THE HAPPENING
(7) SEX LIVES OF THE POTATO MEN
(6) HEAVEN'S GATE
(5) EPIC MOVIE
(4) RAISE THE TITANIC
(3) THE LOVE GURU
(2) BATTLEFIELD EARTH
(1) BATMAN AND ROBIN
The page-by-page list is interesting, I suppose. It's got "reedeming features" for most of the films, at least; though nothing that would really make you want to watch them. There are a lot of genre flicks on this list.
I'm a little surprised that Transformers 2 appears at number 25, 'cause I rather liked it. Unashamedly pro-America, pro-humankind, pro-military. It's got the three things I like in a movie: (1) it's gorgeous; (2) it's loud; (3) SHIT BLOWS UP. I gave it one-and-a-crooked thumbs up. Not quite as enjoyable as the first one (too long), but still a fun movie.
I'm also surprised that Uwe Boll films don't make up the top (bottom) 5.
Oh, why not: Lemme tell you one of the other things I liked about it. The usual cliche where the protagonist breaks up with the love interest from the first film to get with new tail in the second? Not present. Bay nodded to it and then tried for some actual character development. Not bad for a popcorn flick.
First movie: boy.
Second movie: boy becoming man.
Third movie: man.
And I even hate that chirpy little bastard Shia LeWhatever.
Posted by: Gabriel Malor at
07:17 PM
| Comments (764)
Post contains 280 words, total size 2 kb.
I liked Heaven's Gate. There were problems with it, but you could see what Cimino was trying to do in more than a few places. Some of the shots looked like paintings...really cool...like Barry Lyndon except set in the Old West.
And I think it was French babe Isabelle Huppert that played a whore. She strutted around in the nude for what seemed like forever.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:22 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 07:24 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 07:29 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: Mr Hat at January 29, 2010 07:30 PM (dUOK+)
Posted by: toby928 at January 29, 2010 07:30 PM (PD1tk)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:30 PM (Opmig)
Looks like those editors need to "chill out."
Or else the producers of B&R will put them on ice.
INSERT FREEZE PUN!
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 07:30 PM (pfStM)
And I say this as someone who enjoyed Transformers I.
Posted by: schizuki at January 29, 2010 07:32 PM (8dnmm)
Posted by: arhooley at January 29, 2010 07:33 PM (BhSY6)
Posted by: schizuki at January 29, 2010 07:34 PM (8dnmm)
Red Zone Cuba is pretty bad, too.
Posted by: Good Lt. at January 29, 2010 07:36 PM (n/M5O)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:37 PM (P33XN)
BTW, the worst movie of all time has been filmed but unreleased.
Starring John Edwards, with a cameo by Rielle Hunter
Reenacting a scene from American Psycho
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 07:38 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: Minimal good taste at January 29, 2010 07:38 PM (8dnmm)
Posted by: Londo Cardassian at January 29, 2010 07:38 PM (fmSD1)
worst half movie I've ever seen.
first half was kinda dark but funny.. the second half tail dived into some PETA preachy bullshit movies do.
and I use to go to a Baptist church. I know preachy.
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 07:38 PM (+t0sg)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:39 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:39 PM (Opmig)
Posted by: SparcVark at January 29, 2010 07:39 PM (7lmfG)
--------------------
The m-m-master will b-b-be displeased.
Posted by: Torgo at January 29, 2010 07:40 PM (8dnmm)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:40 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:40 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 07:41 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:41 PM (Opmig)
This is really a movie title? Oh, wow, it is--and British-to-boot.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at January 29, 2010 07:41 PM (zmiSr)
then you haven't seen 'The Happening' yet... or even 'The Village'.
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 07:41 PM (+t0sg)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:42 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:42 PM (Opmig)
Posted by: Diffus at January 29, 2010 07:42 PM (TPXmr)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 07:43 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:44 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:44 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Twiki wannabe at January 29, 2010 07:45 PM (SHKl9)
I may be alone on this, but the first Blair Witch was probably the worst movie I ever saw in theaters.
I'm assuming the second one made this list.
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 07:45 PM (pfStM)
Van Helsing is not one of the fifty worst movies of all time
I was thinking the same thing. Sure, it's mindless, but it's mindless fun. And you've got Kate Beckinsale bursting out of her outfit for the whole movie. What's not to like?
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:45 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:46 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: rawmuse at January 29, 2010 07:46 PM (6Kciv)
I think there are others, but nothing's coming to mind.
Posted by: Crip Obama at January 29, 2010 07:47 PM (V2pCF)
Oh man, I had forgotten Amistad. I at least only rented it, and stopped it after ten minutes.
Maybe less.
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:49 PM (Opmig)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:49 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 07:50 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 07:50 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: SparcVark at January 29, 2010 07:51 PM (7lmfG)
Posted by: Your Grandmother/A 12 year-old Boy 2012 at January 29, 2010 07:51 PM (yO8ge)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 07:51 PM (Opmig)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:51 PM (tyiS8)
I am beginning to discern this discordant noun-pairing thing in the title makes for a guaranteed lousy movie. Blade Trinity. Matrix Revolutions. Hellraiser Bloodline.
Posted by: arhooley at January 29, 2010 07:52 PM (BhSY6)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:53 PM (tyiS8)
----------------------
You're right. It's one of the 30 worst. It actually angered me with its badness.
Posted by: schizuki at January 29, 2010 07:53 PM (8dnmm)
52
I have tried to block the Star Wars prequels out of my mind.
They were so bad that I started disliking the originals - now that's a bad sign for a movie.
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 07:54 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: EC at January 29, 2010 07:54 PM (iWj1i)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 07:54 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 07:55 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:55 PM (tyiS8)
Jeanne Tripplehorn. But she does it with the fish-man Costner and we don't see much, so the movie ruins even that.
Wanna see more of Jeanne? Get Basic Instinct.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 07:55 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: EC at January 29, 2010 11:54 PM (iWj1i)
That's okay, your ticket money is now being used to heal people by touch down in Haiti. No, really.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 07:55 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 07:56 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: lincolntf at January 29, 2010 07:57 PM (V2pCF)
That list is pretty bad. First, I didn't care for Spiderman 3, but it hardly belongs in the top 50. And, I rather liked Blade Trinity and Dreamcatcher. Even if they weren't great movies, they weren't "top 50" bad.
They should also leave spoofs of the list. Yes, they're bad. But that's kind of the point, isn't it?
And where was "War of the Worlds"? That movie is insulting in its lack of respect for its audiences' intelligence.
I'm glad to see "The Happening" in the top 10, though. It truly belongs there.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 07:58 PM (sV0Yw)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 07:58 PM (muUqs)
Of all time? Hardly. I'll see your 'Ultraviolet' and raise you 'The Birth of a Nation.' A sympathetic portrayal of the founding of the KKK, with no real black actors in it? And, four God damn hours long?
'Nosferatu' sucked too. World's first real vampire movie, and it was like watching paint dry.
Posted by: Secundus at January 29, 2010 07:58 PM (WuvMD)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 07:59 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Your Grandmother/A 12 year-old Boy 2012 at January 29, 2010 08:00 PM (yO8ge)
I have tried to block the Star Wars prequels out of my mind.
They were so bad that I started disliking the originals - now that's a bad sign for a movie.
Posted by: The QThey had the same effect on me. I can barely stand the old shit anymore, and I used to think they were pretty entertaining.
Posted by: Mr Hat at January 29, 2010 08:01 PM (dUOK+)
Sure, but she was so much hotter in Basic Instinct that seeing her not at all hot in Waterworld was just another massive disappointment.
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 08:01 PM (Opmig)
Posted by: Your Grandmother/A 12 year-old Boy 2012 at January 29, 2010 08:02 PM (yO8ge)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:03 PM (tyiS8)
then you haven't seen 'The Happening' yet... or even 'The Village'.
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 11:41 PM (+t0sg)
I guess he had sufficient time to work out the kinks in The Sixth Sense, but nearly everything after that has been slap-dash or even outright pilfered from other sources. Like for instance, Signs could have been good if he hadn't merely grafted on the ending from Day of the Triffids.
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:03 PM (GU29T)
Joy Luck Club
Judge Dredd
Pay It Forward
Titanic (sort of . . . I deliberately skipped the first two hours and walked in for the ship sinking)
Posted by: arhooley at January 29, 2010 08:03 PM (BhSY6)
Posted by: SparcVark at January 29, 2010 08:04 PM (7lmfG)
Posted by: rawmuse at January 29, 2010 08:04 PM (6Kciv)
I'm glad to see "The Happening" in the top 10, though. It truly belongs there.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 11:58 PM (sV0Yw)
It belongs at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, buried under a half-mile of sediment.
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:04 PM (GU29T)
{blushing} Yes. Yes I did.
I actually looked through the whole list, and was disappointed that Sex Lives of the Potato Men was not a science fiction film
Posted by: shibumi at January 29, 2010 08:05 PM (OKZrE)
Posted by: lincolntf at January 29, 2010 08:05 PM (V2pCF)
--------------------
If 1 and 2, then hopefully 3. Which is why I'm so glad that Elizabeth Berkley's career was killed by Showgirls.
Posted by: arhooley at January 29, 2010 08:05 PM (BhSY6)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 08:05 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:06 PM (tyiS8)
You missed a pretty good scene where they show the engine room.
Of course, it only lasts five seconds or so, and the other 119 minutes, 55 seconds are crap.
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 08:06 PM (Opmig)
Yes, Under Siege 2. It wasn't that bad (basically a rehash of Under Siege without the performances of Tommy Lee Jones and Busey), and a young Katherine Heigl was in that movie too.
But On Deadly Ground deserves it's own special place in hell, even if it's only for the eco-tard speech at the end.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:08 PM (otlXg)
No Steven Seagal flicks on that list? I'd put On Deadly Ground in the top ten.
I'd agree if I could stop laughing so hard. Michael Caine chewing the scenery is side splitting. And that part where they beat that old guy to death with a whale bone is so sadistic and over done that I still chuckle about it.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 08:08 PM (P33XN)
Ever see the sequel? Ugh, at least some douche high-schooler tards got their just desserts.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:09 PM (otlXg)
Joy Luck Club
Judge Dredd
Pay It Forward
Titanic (sort of . . . I deliberately skipped the first two hours and walked in for the ship sinking)
Posted by: arhooley at January 30, 2010 12:03 AM (BhSY6)
Walked out on He Said She Said (Kevin Bacon and some chick I can't remember).
Joy Luck is depressing as all hell.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:10 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 08:10 PM (593B8)
No Steven Seagal flicks on that list? I'd put On Deadly Ground in the top ten.
That was sub-moronic.. stop the refinery by blowing it up and causing just as much ecological damage than by letting it sit there..
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 08:10 PM (+t0sg)
Agreed. Wasn't the main corporate assassin dude also in Office Space?
Well, if On Deadly Ground can't be put on the list because it's at least funny-bad, how about some other Seagal flicks? Like, maybe, The Patriot or Belly of the Beast?
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:12 PM (otlXg)
with Ewan MacGregor and Ashley Judd..
only redeeming qualities about that.. Judd was nekkid and I had free passes for the movie..
jeepers, cripes, you would think the producers of that flick would have stopped it or something..
it was aweful.
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 08:12 PM (+t0sg)
Posted by: w'evver at January 29, 2010 08:14 PM (GkYyh)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 08:14 PM (P33XN)
The Happening has got to be the worst, most utterly pointless, plotless, painful movie to come along in a looooooooooooooooooong time.
Paid $2.99 to watch it on cable-on-demand about 6 months ago and to this day i curse and lament the lost 2 hours and three bucks it cost me. Vomitous.
Posted by: mike d at January 29, 2010 08:14 PM (4w55p)
Posted by: Waterhouse at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (Opmig)
Dennis Hopper was entertaining.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 08:14 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Rewrite! at January 29, 2010 08:15 PM (d7Px0)
Posted by: lincolntf at January 30, 2010 12:05 AM (V2pCF)
And they made a sequel. And both were produced by Francis Ford Coppola's Zoetrope Studio.....
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:16 PM (GU29T)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:17 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (P33XN)
Powder, right?
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:17 PM (GU29T)
At least we some nice shots of Jessica Biel.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:17 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Salish at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (GU29T)
Salish how DARE you blaspheme like that, Hugh-man!!! Robot Monster is the greatest movie ever made.
I ask you, "at what point on the graph do must and cannot meet???? I must...and yet I cannot." Fookin priceless!!!!
Posted by: mike d at January 29, 2010 08:17 PM (4w55p)
I am talking about, of course...
Tank Girl
Posted by: trainer at January 29, 2010 08:17 PM (yCWYQ)
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:18 PM (GU29T)
True story - my one friend was forced to watch Eye of the Beholder by his then bitch-of-a-girlfriend.
I only saw the part where Obi Wan beat some guy up with brass knuckles.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:19 PM (otlXg)
Agreed. Wasn't the main corporate assassin dude also in Office Space?
R. Lee Ermey played a bad guy in it, I think. And yeah, the guy from Office Space was in it too. I hope their checks cleared.
Well, if On Deadly Ground can't be put on the list because it's at least funny-bad, how about some other Seagal flicks? Like, maybe, The Patriot or Belly of the Beast?
Oh yeah. Seagal's been making flicks in Eastern Europe for years and they're all big piles of shit. He makes four or five straight to DVD turds and picks up four or five million bucks for each movie. People simply must quit renting this crap.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 08:19 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:19 PM (tyiS8)
I went to see The Happening in a theater because I wanted to witness the suckage first-hand on the big screen. And I must say, it didn't disappoint one bit: the plot holes, the lousy performances, the bad direction, and most of all, the inane premise all added up to a train wreck that was masochistically thrilling.
Posted by: Salish at January 29, 2010 08:20 PM (GU29T)
I turned to my wife and asked if we should leave.. she said no.. its' bound to get better.. it didn't.
Posted by: Dave C at January 29, 2010 08:21 PM (+t0sg)
In the sci-fi category I would add 'Battle Beyond The Stars', and in horror comes 'Gothic'.
I rarely walk out of movies but those two make Xena the Warrior Princess look like Shakespeare.
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 08:22 PM (593B8)
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:22 PM (GU29T)
But yes, now he's unbearable. I remember being so pumped to see The Happening down in Arizona with my cousin and mah boyz. The whole drive home we just talked about how terrible it was, like I mean, there's no way to take the movie seriously.
And now he's going to fuck up The Last Airbender and make me go to jail for assault.
Posted by: yambles at January 29, 2010 08:23 PM (rxaXW)
He does have alternative sources of revenue now - Seagal's energy drinks and that special he has on A&E.
I saw part of one recent said "big pile of shit" where Seagal, in a badly dubbed scene, breaks as many bones on this one dude with a ball hammer as he can before the police arrive. And then afterward, this dude just screams "You broke my arm, you fucker, my arm!"
I was thinking that I would be in more pain from the busted ribcage and kneecaps...
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:24 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 08:25 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:27 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 08:27 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 30, 2010 12:22 AM (593B
Battle Beyond the Stars was a quickie Roger Corman rip-off of Star Wars, like Carnosaur was a quickie Roger Corman rip-off of Jurassic Park. And Dementia 13 was a Roger Corman rip-off of Psycho - but written and directed by his then-apprentice Francis Ford Coppola.
Interesting fact: Corman had leftover film stock after making Bucket of Blood, so he decided to knock out a quick monster movie on an ultra-low budget. He wrote a script in a week and filmed it fast: it was Little Shop of Horrors.
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:28 PM (GU29T)
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 08:28 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:29 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:30 PM (tyiS8)
I don't see how Eyes Wide Shut isn't on that list.
I second that. I think critics liked this movie because they either didn't want to admit it that they didn't understand it, or because it was Kubrick's last movie. Or both.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 08:31 PM (sV0Yw)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:32 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:33 PM (GU29T)
GOD'S DEMON.
I highly recommend it!
Paperback version.
Its so good I read it twice - back to back.
phoenix
Posted by: kay at January 29, 2010 08:34 PM (TW1NB)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 08:35 PM (muUqs)
The Dawn of the Dead 2005 remake made me want to do the same, but only for zombie babies.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:36 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 08:36 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:32 AM (tyiS
He's made a few good movies along the way.
And what's far more amazing, he's always made money on every one of his productions.
Meanwhile, he's turned out a ton of great directors from his tutelage, like Coppola, Martin Scorsese and Jonathan Demme.
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:36 PM (GU29T)
Interesting fact: Corman had
leftover film stock after making Bucket of Blood, so he decided to
knock out a quick monster movie on an ultra-low budget. He wrote a
script in a week and filmed it fast: it was Little Shop of Horrors.
Posted by: stuiec at January 30, 2010 12:28 AM (GU29T)
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 08:37 PM (593B8)
I haven't seen it but wasn't Out of Africa pretty much like The English Patient?
Seems like any conversation involving the suckitude of one inevitably brings up the other.
Posted by: Hippolytus at January 29, 2010 08:37 PM (2ObNl)
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 08:37 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: stuiec at January 30, 2010 12:33 AM (GU29T)
K-Pax.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:37 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:39 PM (GU29T)
The Life of David Gale?
/Okay, I only saw the part where he was banging some woman in the bathroom.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 29, 2010 08:40 PM (otlXg)
Posted by: Naan at January 29, 2010 08:40 PM (j5MTj)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:42 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: sandbagger at January 30, 2010 12:41 AM (KatTI)
Good God that movie did not know when to end. Everytime I expected the credits to start, here comes another 20 minutes of torture.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:43 PM (Ei3oZ)
I'm not saying it's great. Movies tend to suck. It sucks less than almost all of them.
Posted by: oblig. at January 29, 2010 08:43 PM (AfZ39)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:45 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Dread President Obama at January 29, 2010 08:46 PM (yO8ge)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:46 PM (tyiS8)
>> wasn't Out of Africa pretty much like The English Patient?
I'll never know. I can't risk two of those in one lifetime.
Posted by: Dave in Texas at January 29, 2010 08:47 PM (Wh0W+)
"Inglorious Basterds" was pretty goddamn bad.
Why people worship Quentin Tarantino as a writer/director is beyond me. His talent for unorthodox story telling is overshadowed by the fact that he's a pansy sadist and his films are nothing more than nihilistic rips offs of previous genres.
Posted by: Dirk Diggler at January 29, 2010 08:48 PM (tZIia)
Posted by: MPFS at January 30, 2010 12:48 AM (QuP9W)
Seriously? I love that movie.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:48 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Naan at January 29, 2010 08:49 PM (j5MTj)
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 29, 2010 08:50 PM (S1Ttj)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 08:50 PM (sYxEE)
Then one day, I saw the listing in Leonard Maltin's 1,000 Movies on TV: Caltiki the Immortal Monster, Mexico, 1956 - BOMB. I was vindicated, and some years later, I found a videotape copy. Just exactly like I remembered it: a really bad rip-off of The Blob. It was wonderful!
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:51 PM (GU29T)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 08:51 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: Bruce Willis at January 29, 2010 08:51 PM (sYxEE)
"Inglorious Basterds" was pretty goddamn bad.
Why people worship Quentin Tarantino as a writer/director is beyond me. His talent for unorthodox story telling is overshadowed by the fact that he's a pansy sadist and his films are nothing more than nihilistic rips offs of previous genres.
Dirk DigglerAmen to that. That movie had me rooting for the Nazi's fer Christ sake. I liked Kill Bill though. The rest of his movies are crap as far as I can tell.
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 08:51 PM (593B8)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:52 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Rodney at January 29, 2010 08:52 PM (c6mrx)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 08:53 PM (muUqs)
--------------------------------
Me, too. It's the one with Jessica Biel, right? And how could you not love lines like, "You co**-juggling thundercu**!"
---------------------------------
And where was "War of the Worlds"? That movie is insulting in its lack of respect for its audiences' intelligence.
----------------------------------
Oh, cripes, you're not one of those, are you? There is very little in that movie that does not make sense or cannot be explained satisfactorily. With the exception of the Dakota Fanning screetching, it's a damn good and very harrowing flick.
Posted by: schizuki at January 29, 2010 08:53 PM (8dnmm)
Posted by: Naan at January 30, 2010 12:50 AM (j5MTj)
I can look past that at the story itself, which I thought was really good, and had some really great performances - even Whoopi, whose politics I loathe. Maybe because the first time I saw it, I wasn't aware of who they really were, so there wasn't any automatic bias on my part (which I fully admit affects me - I quit watching 24 when that bitch Garafalo came in, I just...no).
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:53 PM (Ei3oZ)
I actually kinda liked Hudson Hawk. It was cheesy and awful but I found it oddly entertaining. It had David Caruso in it!! That has to count for something.
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 08:54 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 30, 2010 12:53 AM (muUqs)
Is that the guy from the Brown Bunny movie with Chloe Sevigny and the blowjob scene?
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:55 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: William Shatner at January 29, 2010 08:55 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 29, 2010 08:55 PM (euuyg)
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 08:56 PM (Ei3oZ)
Lots of big names got their start with him though.
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 08:56 PM (sYxEE)
"Plan 9," on the other hand, was and remains a classic, one that no one else but Ed Wood could have pulled off (you should pardon the expression).
But don't mind me. I'm a big Russ Meyer fan, and if any of the dweebs consulted about the 50 Worst had seen "Beneath the Valley of the Ultravixens," "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" or "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" they woulda been dumb enough to put them on the list, too.
Cretins.
Posted by: Chapeau du Tinfoil at January 29, 2010 08:57 PM (odn7e)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 08:57 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Richard Mcenroe at January 29, 2010 08:57 PM (2joUy)
Cutthroat Island?
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 08:58 PM (n1uMU)
III cannot be made unless II is better than I.
Posted by: bergerbilder at January 30, 2010 12:50 AM (S1Ttj)
Corollary: III will suck, unless it's the climax of a planned trilogy, and even then your odds aren't very good.
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 08:58 PM (GU29T)
Posted by: schizuki at January 29, 2010 09:00 PM (8dnmm)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 09:00 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: John at January 29, 2010 09:01 PM (NqhL+)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 30, 2010 12:53 AM (muUqs)
Is that the guy from the Brown Bunny movie with Chloe Sevigny and the blowjob scene?
I think so.
Posted by: J. D. Salinger at January 29, 2010 09:02 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:03 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:52 AM (tyiS
That genre falls under the Law of Diminishing Returns: a horror "franchise" will continue to generate sequels as long as it produces at least one dollar of profit.
Posted by: stuiec at January 29, 2010 09:03 PM (GU29T)
Cutthroat Island?
Posted by: kefka at January 30, 2010 12:58 AM (n1uMU)
Yes, that one. Also missing from list.
I'll also add Escape from New York and the LA sequel - I'm sure the guys dug it for the macho factor, but man, the first movie was like a bad dream that just made me want to go outside and sit in the sun or something. Didn't see the 2nd but I'm sure it belongs.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 09:03 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 09:04 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: schizuki at January 30, 2010 01:00 AM (8dnmm)
I will Avada Kedavra your ass.
Posted by: Lord Voldemort at January 29, 2010 09:05 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: rawmuse at January 29, 2010 09:06 PM (6Kciv)
You're Fired!
Posted by: J Peterman at January 29, 2010 09:07 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: jbarntt at January 29, 2010 09:07 PM (Ynr0B)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:07 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 09:08 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 09:09 PM (sYxEE)
Mmmmm... Johnny Depp
He falls into the shutup and act catagory for me. Loved him since 21 Jump Street
Posted by: Naan at January 29, 2010 09:10 PM (j5MTj)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 09:12 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 09:13 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:13 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Purple Avenger at January 29, 2010 09:13 PM (3RWnU)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:14 PM (tyiS8)
However, had they not been so bad, we wouldn't have gotten Airplane
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 09:14 PM (sYxEE)
Posted by: Ken at January 30, 2010 01:10 AM (e+x+O)
All his movies either suck or are overrated a la Rosemary's Baby.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 09:15 PM (Ei3oZ)
I think it may have had Gleason in it.
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 29, 2010 09:16 PM (muUqs)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:16 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: kbdabear at January 29, 2010 09:17 PM (sYxEE)
Do you mean to tell me nobody chose No Retreat No Surrender?! That movie is so awful, it's art!
Posted by: tmi3rd at January 29, 2010 09:20 PM (ZNj7+)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 09:22 PM (tyiS8)
Because one bank-breaking, post-apocalyptic, disasterpiece wasn't enough to kill Costner's career...
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 09:28 PM (Y9WXU)
Freddy Got Fingered is objectively speaking probably the worst major release in motion picture history.
The films that were huge disappointments to me personally tended to be one's that disgraced cherished movie franchises I grew up with as a kid. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace for example.
Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull though wins that prize. I felt like punching a hole through the screen at the end of the movie.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:28 PM (xIqkW)
Oh, cripes, you're not one of those, are you? There is very little in that movie that does not make sense or cannot be explained satisfactorily.
Yes, I am one of those. What about the movie makes sense and can be explained satisfactorily?
The fact that aliens buried machines in order to kill humans apparently before humans were even here?
That the tripod machines apparently ran on ground up human for fuel but also served the primary purpose of grinding up humans?
Or, that the aliens somehow were always behind them despite passing them like three times on their journey?
Or, that the aliens are plowing through cities destroying everything in their wake, but take 30 to 45 minutes of the movie to hang out outside of some farm house?
And this is just the stuff I can think of off hand.
Overall, the movie is moderately entertaining (except for the hiding in the basement of the farm house part), but it does qualify as bad.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 09:29 PM (sV0Yw)
"Van Helsing" should not be on that list. It's mindless fun with Hugh and Kate in great costumes, hot vampire chicks and exploding shit. What's not to love?
"Battlefield Earth" was not that bad. But, I read the book and liked it and thought they did a pretty good adaptation considering the size of the project. BE was written before Hubbard came up with the Scientology scam, so I think it gets an unfair bad rap.
"Black Dahlia" should have been on the list.
Posted by: mpur at January 29, 2010 09:29 PM (946fl)
I think you are confused. We aren't talking about the 50 awesomest movies of all time.
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 09:30 PM (n1uMU)
Oh, here's another one....Blues Brothers 2000. The original BB was the first R rated movie I ever saw back in 1980. It's an American classic as far as I'm concerned. The sequel made years after John Belushi had passed on was stupid beyond belief. A pointless exercise.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:34 PM (xIqkW)
I didn't see Blues Brothers 2000, but you just knew nothing good could come of it. Kind of like the Pink Panther remakes.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 09:35 PM (sV0Yw)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 09:36 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: skitmom at January 29, 2010 09:37 PM (vhPrs)
Posted by: MRI at January 29, 2010 09:38 PM (cPFyh)
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:38 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: mpur at January 29, 2010 09:39 PM (946fl)
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 09:40 PM (sV0Yw)
243
I'll grant you that the jam session at the end of the movie was good, though I remember Eric Clapton had a look on his face like he had a train to catch.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:41 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at January 30, 2010 01:19 AM (muUqs)
Best Burt Reynolds movie ever.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 09:42 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 09:42 PM (P33XN)
Naw, but he had a check to cash, I'm sure.
Posted by: mpur at January 29, 2010 09:43 PM (946fl)
The Bad News Bears III...they go to Japan with Tony Curtis as the manager.
I don't think I need to say anything else.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:43 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: Apollo Creed at January 29, 2010 09:44 PM (cPFyh)
Nearly any Chevy Chase vehicle outside of the Vacation films and Fletch basically sucks.
Um, what else is there?
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 09:44 PM (sV0Yw)
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 09:44 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 30, 2010 01:42 AM (P33XN)
Spies Like us With Dan Akroyd rocked.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 09:44 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 09:45 PM (P33XN)
247
I saw a clip of Chevy Chase on Jimmy Kimmel wearing a red wig and trying to impersonate Conan O'Brien. I think he would have done a better job trying to act like Nipsey Russell. Awful beyond belief. His comedic chops evaporated sometime in the mid-eighties.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 09:46 PM (xIqkW)
Plus Tim Robbins
Bob Roberts. Timmy's take on the right wingers. Jack Black with a swastika carved into his forehead.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 09:47 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 09:50 PM (P33XN)
Bob Roberts. Timmy's take on the right wingers. Jack Black with a swastika carved into his forehead.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 30, 2010 01:47 AM (P33XN)
I still want to know why he gave money to 10 Repubs including Michelle Bachmann. That was...bizarre.
It's hard not to let him ruin Shawshank every time I watch it, which is often.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 09:51 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Cowboy at January 29, 2010 09:53 PM (zwrlc)
Can't wait for the A-Team!
Posted by: theworldisnotenough at January 29, 2010 09:54 PM (/Rdvy)
I still want to know why he gave money to 10 Repubs including Michelle Bachmann. That was...bizarre.
Perhaps he's really a right-winger pretending to be a leftie to nail leftie chicks. That's what I did in college.
Ok, I actually didn't. But some do.
Although, that doesn't make much sense in reference to Susan Sarandon, who is, I believe, over 10 years older than he is.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 09:54 PM (sV0Yw)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 09:55 PM (cBeTr)
Alright, it may not be "top 50 worst of all time", but it was such an incredibly p.c. preachy, overly contrived, critically acclaimed, Oscar winning piece of crap that I almost wish I had crashed off a bridge while driving with Teddy Kennedy before having to sit through it.
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 09:57 PM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 09:58 PM (cBeTr)
Howard the Duck, I saw that movie so many times as a kid, I probably received irreversible brain damage from it.
Street Fighter, what was worse is Street Fighter The Movie: The video game.
Dreamcatcher, remember when Stephen King films were GOOD? The only redeming quality of this film was Donnie Wahlberg as Dudditz, if you saw the cut scenes on DVD the ending would have been FAR WORSE. KIng has far years been off his game and merely phoning it in. This film is It, mixed with Stand By Me flashbacks mixed with aliens. He just took 3 of his old stories put them in a blender and got this crap smoothie.
Batman and robin, only redeemable quality is that it made Batman Begins and The Dark Knight possible
Suprised ZARDOZ was not on that list, a movie with a loincloth wearing Sean Connery taking orders from a stone head that loves guns and hates penises.
Posted by: Gary B at January 29, 2010 10:00 PM (1gWfF)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:01 PM (cBeTr)
controversy happened there were three people who came very vociferously
to our support, all either very conservative Democrats or Republicans -
Clint Eastwood, Kevin Costner and Jack Valenti. And how many liberals?
I didn`t see any. So I am not one that makes a judgment on someone
because they are Republican. I know enough Republicans that are decent
people, they love their families, we might have differences of opinion
but we can find common ground.
Tim RobbinsMaybe he is a closet conservative and needs to pretend to be a liberal to avoid being blacklisted?
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 10:01 PM (593B8)
The Cable Guy. The first $ 20M payday for an actor. Apparently the loose change that remained in the budget was used to purchase the hackneyed script.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:02 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 30, 2010 02:01 AM (cBeTr)
Indeed. It is infamous.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 10:02 PM (Ei3oZ)
I hated Three Amigos with a passion. Saw it in the theater back in my pot smoking days. Even totally baked I sat there and wondered what the fuck I'd gotten myself into. Dreadfully unfunny.
Which brings up Martin Short. Ever seen Clifford? You'd remember because your eyes would be gone...melted clean out of your head. Short's another guy who'd be funnier six feet under. Pity.
The only consolation I'm seeing with the new A-Team flick is Liam Neeson. He's all kinds of awesome.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:03 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:05 PM (cBeTr)
Not the Tom Cruise film.
Posted by: Gary B at January 29, 2010 10:05 PM (1gWfF)
I missed the Three Amigos. Unfortunately there have been other films with Martin Short in them that I haven't missed. I've never seen someone constantly act so goofy...straining to be funny....and failing miserably.
And no, I didn't forget about Jerry Lewis.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:06 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:07 PM (P33XN)
War of the Worlds 2 with KID, is actually the sequel to the USA/Sci Fi TV movie.
Not the Tom Cruise film.
Well, that's good news. Although, it seemed like they stole some ideas. The Tripods looked roughly the same, for example, just smaller and crappier.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 10:07 PM (sV0Yw)
278
I didn't know Farley was up for that role. Damn I bet that would have been good. BTW, didn't mean to completely disparage Jim Carrey. Dumb and Dumber remains a favorite guilty pleasure.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:08 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:08 PM (cBeTr)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:09 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:10 PM (cBeTr)
285
The part where Jim Carrey is riding the motorscooter and the theme for the Wicked Witch of the West plays never fails to make me LMAO.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:11 PM (xIqkW)
Eddie Murphy = Vampire in Brooklyn. Jesus!
Of course, that one had Angela Bassett and she's pretty much a winner in anything even when the rest of the movie sucks hard.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:11 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:11 PM (cBeTr)
Posted by: Gary B at January 29, 2010 10:11 PM (1gWfF)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:13 PM (cBeTr)
Haha, i just watched that from Netflix. I hated it when i first saw it after it came out, but i gotta say, i actually enjoyed it this time around. And it's amazing how many big names are in it, john cleese, rosario Dawson, Peter Boyle, Randy Quaid, Joe Pantioliano, Jay mohr. It's bad no doubt, but actually pretty fun and Quaids robot is just so stupid it's funny. It's like a ten year old acting like a robot.
Posted by: koopy at January 29, 2010 10:14 PM (XllG0)
How come there's nothing by Will Farrell on that list? I can't even remember a single funny line or thing that happened in Talladega Nights, for example.
Posted by: Jason at January 29, 2010 10:14 PM (sV0Yw)
286
Chris Farley was always willing to be self-depricating to make people laugh. My favorite kind of comedian. He was also virtually impossible to dislike. Damn I'm sorry he's gone.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:16 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: Drew in MO at January 29, 2010 10:16 PM (yNnOg)
How come there's nothing by Will Farrell on that list? I can't even remember a single funny line or thing that happened in Talladega Nights, for example.
Posted by: Jason at January 30, 2010 02:14 AM (sV0Yw)
I'mma come at'choo like a spider monkey!
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 10:17 PM (Ei3oZ)
Two words: Robin Williams
He's looking at a couple of centuries in Purgatory just to work off the bad mojo he's created with films like Jack. Saw that one last month on AMC and wanted to pump a slug in my head. I laughed out loud when he had chest pains and fell down the stairs at school.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:17 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Drew in MO at January 30, 2010 02:16 AM (yNnOg)
I heard that he wanted to make an Obama movie but I wasn't aware that he already had. Good to know.
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 10:18 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: fartbubble at January 29, 2010 10:19 PM (cBeTr)
Posted by: Drew in MO at January 29, 2010 10:22 PM (yNnOg)
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:23 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:24 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Drew in MO at January 30, 2010 02:22 AM (yNnOg)
Considering it would be, like, the millionth time?
Posted by: tdpwells at January 29, 2010 10:24 PM (Ei3oZ)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:25 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:29 PM (P33XN)
I paid a buck to see it. Still want that dollar back AND the two hours of my life I wasted on that piece of shit.
Transformers 2 sucked, but I did get off a great snark line watching it. It was during the battle scene at Petra when they called in the Jordanians to help them defeat the bad guys. I turned to my sweetie and said, "Shoulda called the Jews instead. They'd have kicked their ass!" Got a couple rows laughing with that one.
Oh, I also hope Satan's Giant Barbed Cock will get revenge on George Lucas for Jar Jar Binks.
Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at January 29, 2010 10:32 PM (KWhJd)
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:34 PM (xIqkW)
VIDEO: 'Looks like Obama used the Middle Finger again today while Talking to Republicans
This is the 4th time..
Posted by: newser at January 29, 2010 10:34 PM (D2axM)
Wayne's World 2
Coneheads
Night at the Roxbury
Ladies Man
Rockstar (the one with the Catholic school-girl freak)
Stuart Smalley had his own movie
Pat (freakin' PAT!)
the aforementioned Blues Brothers 2000
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 10:35 PM (Y9WXU)
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: Part Two
I remember hearing it made $ 20,000.00 (that's right...twenty thousand) in ticket sales.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:37 PM (xIqkW)
I remember when I pitched a screenplay where Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky played two L.A. cops out on the edge trying to bring down a ring of racists led by Dick Cheney. Ann Coulter co-starred as a cigar smoking journalist with a bionic vagina.
Fuck if I know why no one picked up the rights.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:38 PM (P33XN)
A bit off topic, but my choice for the best unintentionally funny line in a movie comes from Boogie Nights.
"Do not fuck with Rollergirl!"
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:39 PM (xIqkW)
Coneheads
Yeah, you have to wonder where they were going with that one. Hell, the movie came out nearly 20 years after the last Coneheads sketch aired.
One time after I saw it, I was with a group of people and we heard a bunch of sirens in the distance and I just threw out the line from the movie, "Oh no, human authority figures" and got a huge laugh. Beats me.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:41 PM (P33XN)
I paid a buck to see it. Still want that dollar back AND the two hours of my life I wasted on that piece of shit.
Posted by: bigpinkfluffybunny at January 30, 2010 02:32 AM (KWhJd)
Class of 1999
The theater manager apologized and told me I could see any two other movies I wanted for free.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 10:42 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 10:42 PM (n1uMU)
. Any movie with Gary Shandling in it has to be a train wreck, no matter who else it stars.Posted by: Doc at January 29, 2010 10:45 PM (rzJpR)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 10:47 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:47 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: kefka at January 30, 2010 02:42 AM (n1uMU)
No frakkin' doubt.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 10:48 PM (KatTI)
Weren't their sequels to the movie "meatballs". Even though I've never seen them, I can safely assume that without Bill Murray they must have been horrendous.
BTW, Bill's "It just doesn't matter" speech in the original movie is pure magic.
Zen.
Cathartic.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:49 PM (xIqkW)
Second the mention of Zardoz.
On Tim Robbins - any chance he may have been such a flaming lib just to hop on Susan Sarandon?
And how has no one mentioned the greatest example of "worst movie ever": The Wicker Man remake with Nic Cage?
"The bees! They're in my eyes!"
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 10:50 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 02:45 AM (Y9WXU)
There's always Rifftrax. They even did the Star Wars Prequels and then the original trilogy.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 10:51 PM (KatTI)
Weren't their sequels to the movie "meatballs". Even though I've never seen them, I can safely assume that without Bill Murray they must have been horrendous.
Damn you, sir. Damn you to hell. Just when I thought I'd forgotten about these turds, you remind me!
One of these flicks had an alien in it that looked like it was molded out of shit.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:51 PM (P33XN)
320
I watched it on video in the late eighties. It had an insanely hot girl with sandy blonde hair in it. Everything else about it was an offense to the human race.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:51 PM (xIqkW)
I'm sorry, it is impossible for a movie that contains that line to suck.
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 10:52 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 10:52 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: Bryan at January 29, 2010 10:54 PM (j0OLD)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 10:56 PM (P33XN)
The second Pirates movie begins to make sense after a few times viewing it. The third one is still pretty bad. Kiera Knightly doing a Braveheart style speech makes me cringe.
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 29, 2010 10:57 PM (euuyg)
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 10:59 PM (xIqkW)
Rifftrax has done 4 of the top 10 of these movies, plus they did Transformers 2 as well.
One of the best things is they do good movies too like Casablanca and more, and it's still worth watching.
They've done all the Pirates movies too and many others in this thread.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:01 PM (n72ys)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:02 PM (tyiS8)
320
I watched it on video in the late eighties. It had an insanely hot girl with sandy blonde hair in it. Everything else about it was an offense to the human race.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 30, 2010 02:51 AM (xIqkW)
Karen
Waldron
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 11:02 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Doc at January 29, 2010 11:03 PM (rzJpR)
Niiice, it's actually the guys from the show! Might have to check it out sometime. I used to love MST3K when I was younger (even if some of the references could get way over my head), but watching those silhouettes as they were tearing apart those horrible flicks was so freakin' hysterical.
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:05 PM (Y9WXU)
Speaking of Alexander the Great, I'm watching one right now with the two greatest thespians in acting history.
William Shatner as Alexander
Costarring Adam West
Posted by: The Q at January 29, 2010 11:05 PM (pfStM)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:09 PM (tyiS8)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 11:09 PM (n1uMU)
336
I looked her up on IMDB. The pictures they have posted of her don't really do her justice.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 30, 2010 03:05 AM (xIqkW)Google's not much help either I'm afraid.
Niiice, it's actually the guys from the show! Might have to check it out sometime. I used to love MST3K when I was younger (even if some of the references could get way over my head), but watching those silhouettes as they were tearing apart those horrible flicks was so freakin' hysterical.
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 03:05 AM (Y9WXU)
Rifftrax was the only way I could make it through 300. And Batman and Robin, The Room, The Phantom Menace...
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 11:10 PM (KatTI)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:11 PM (P33XN)
I honestly don't know if it's any good, I haven't tried it.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 03:09 AM
(tyiS
Cinematic Titanic is high-larious. Rifftrax is high-larious. Hell Incognito Cinema Warriors is high-larious. Starting to see a trend here?
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 11:13 PM (KatTI)
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
Mariel Hemingway gets flown to the moon. Through space. Wind blowing in her hair. But....no oxygen in space or on the moon.
Ed Wood had more concern for plausibility.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 29, 2010 11:15 PM (xIqkW)
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:16 PM (Y9WXU)
Well, that's good news. Although, it seemed like they stole some ideas. The Tripods looked roughly the same, for example, just smaller and crappier.
Pretty sure the design of the giant robots being Tripod and additional descriptions of how they look are in the H.G. Wells book. The fact that they look similar should not be at all surprising if they attempt to pay respect to the source material.
Posted by: buzzion at January 29, 2010 11:17 PM (oVQFe)
Thankfully no one has ever actually had to watch it, so the damage is minimal.
Just imagine a $30 million direct-to-video buddy cop movie starring Whoopi Goldberg and a miniature talking T-Rex trying to solve crimes.
Zardoz is almost watchable, in comparison. Hell Strawberry Estates is better, and that's saying something.
Posted by: Buckshot Bill at January 29, 2010 11:17 PM (xBrqg)
Yes the 'team' is most always Mike Nelson (Head writer for almost all 10 seasons) and host for last 5.5 or so years, Bill Corbett (writer for years and Crow T Robot 97-99), Kevin Murphy (writer for years and Tom Servo for all but the first season).
There are guests sometimes 'sitting in' like Joel McHale (the soup), Weird Al Yankovic, etc.
Its usually pretty dang good, you get an mp3 (or .riff file if you use their player), with the .riffs you don't have to sync it up, with the mp3's you start the mp3 and they give some instructions on how to sync to the movie and every 5-15 minutes you get a 'sync' line that a voice says from the movie ideally they should both say the same thing at the same time, but being within < .5 sec is good enough.
The delivery of just the 'riffing' files means they can do ANY movie they want, they've even done that GOD awful Star Wars Holiday Special. They do blockbusters and more, the riff for the newest Star Trek movie released the same day as the dvd/blu-ray release.
You just add it to a cart, check out, download, and you're good to go. NO DRM on the files so they ask you don't give them out. Pretty good deal, riffs run from 1-4 bucks each and there are around 80. They also do 'shorts' with the video and riff and offer them in multiple formats mpeg2, mp4, wmv, etc.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:18 PM (n72ys)
Are you high? Battle Beyond the Stars was an awesome movie! I so wanted the drink-dispensing belt buckle. I still want it.
For really bad movies I'd have to nominate The Osterman Weekend. I think Peckinpah managed to violate the 2nd law of thermodynamics by getting that much talent together and then producing such a steaming pile.
Posted by: Ace's liver at January 29, 2010 11:18 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:18 PM (tyiS8)
And we waited for the twist. The twist that never came.
It was the fucking plants causing people to kill themselves the entire time. What the fuck?
Posted by: Xoxotl at January 29, 2010 11:20 PM (CbVPH)
Zardoz is almost watchable, in comparison. Hell Strawberry Estates is better, and that's saying something.
Holy shit! I've seen Strawberry Estates! Isn't that the one where the professor takes some kids into an insane asylum and they get attacked by ghosts or some shit?
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:20 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:22 PM (n72ys)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:23 PM (tyiS8)
Btw, totally agree with you re Transformers 2, Gabe. I really enjoyed it. I also like that there was more humour in this one than the first one. I could've done without the weird Alex Jones-like roommate, though. I was hoping one of the Autobots would squash him.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:26 PM (gofDd)
Oh man, how can anyone forget Sean Connery in that.. say, I dunno what to call it. Red diaper?
Posted by: Ace's liver at January 29, 2010 11:26 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:27 PM (gofDd)
The biggest turkey forever is:
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Directed,produced, and financed by the infamous Ed Wood. They even made a movie on how inept he was.
#2 is any Elvis movie
#3 is any Richard Burton movie
I grant you the fact that Ed Wood could make some half ass documentaries.
Posted by: chicocano at January 29, 2010 11:27 PM (2n5cq)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:28 PM (gofDd)
Movie.
Ever.
The girl I was with and I sat through half of the movie blaming each other for buying the tickets, neither of us would admit to picking it.
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:30 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:30 PM (o10xL)
Eyes Wide Shut
Robin Hood (with Kevin Costner)
The Aviator
Titanic (except when the ship sinks and Leo dies)
The Notebook
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:30 PM (gofDd)
Oh and the part where John Leguizamo hitches a ride with some random people and suddenly starts talking about math problems. Until Dante from Clerks drives the car into a tree.
Of course I use the term 'best part' very loosely.
Posted by: Buckshot Bill at January 29, 2010 11:30 PM (xBrqg)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:31 PM (o10xL)
And it starred Johnny Depp if I'm thinking of the one you're talking about. I actually liked the movie Ed Wood, even though Horse Face played his girlfriend.
Plan 9 is so bad it's good.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:32 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:32 PM (jVHWM)
You can suggest it to either Rifftrax (rifftrax.com) or to Cinematic Titanic (cinematictitanic.com) CT has: Joel Robinson, Trace, Frank, Mary Jo, and J. Elvis (the original servo from season one)
NOTE: Cinematic Titanic will need to be able to get 'rights' to the movie, whereas Rifftrax does not.
Other MST3K Alum projects that are pretty much like MST3K:
The Film Crew
Cinematic Titanic
Rifftrax
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:32 PM (n72ys)
I haven't seen many Richard Burton flicks, but "Where Eagles Dare" was a quality way to spend an evening...
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 29, 2010 11:33 PM (UKELC)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:33 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:33 PM (n72ys)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:33 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:34 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:34 PM (jVHWM)
Donnie Darko
Mullholland Drive
Battlefield Earth - it was horrible and even then, it wasn't as bad as that damn book (the ending ruined the entire plot).
Metro
The Glimmer Man
Jack Frost (Jeff Goldblum)
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:34 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:35 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: chicocano at January 30, 2010 03:27 AM (2n5cq)
Hold up there, let's not cast too wide a net eh?
You're talking about the star of The Spy who came in from the cold, The Wild Geese(a personal favorite), Where eagles Dare and a costar in The Longest Day.
Posted by: sandbagger at January 29, 2010 11:36 PM (KatTI)
Aww, I actually liked that one.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Pirates of the Caribbean 3.
That's two of my favorite movies. Well, the second one was kinda boring. But I really liked the first and the third.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:36 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:37 PM (o10xL)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:38 PM (jVHWM)
I enjoyed Elf, Old School, and Anchorman.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 03:36 AM (gofDd)
Stranger Than Fiction was good. The liberal slant wasn't even annoying, either. Best compliment? "it was like reading a book, but it was a film!"
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:38 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:39 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:39 PM (n72ys)
These "top ten" lists always suck because they are purely politically based in most cases. I note the absence of any of Michael Moore's crap which should occupy the top 10 like the plauge that they are. I also note the absence of Matrix II & III whch should be on there.
Yes, there are a lot of movies that were much worse than the once listed above.
Posted by: Vic at January 29, 2010 11:39 PM (QrA9E)
W (Oliver Stone)
Goodbye Mr. Chips the Musical
Anything with Buddy the Dog
The 3 Star Wars prequels
Indiana Jones & the Crystal Skull
Beverly Hills Chihuahua
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at January 29, 2010 11:40 PM (zmiSr)
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:40 PM (Y9WXU)
I wasn't sure how I felt about the film. I admit thought when he Spoiler for AHEAD:
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:40 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:40 PM (afWhQ)
Alexander the Gay? Yeah, Gladiator did well enough to spawn a bunch of crap for a few years. What about Troy?
Posted by: Ace's liver at January 29, 2010 11:41 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:41 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 29, 2010 11:41 PM (UKELC)
Posted by: Kyle Kiernan at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (VO2Bb)
Troy at least had eye candy. Brad Pitt got really buff for the role and Diane Kruger was HAWT.
Any movie with Rene Zellweger sucks. I hate her and her lemon sourpuss face.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 03:40 AM (gofDd)
Yes.
(I bought the soundtrack, btw... the music is pretty good. A little sad that they didn't record his version of Whole Wide World and instead just used the Wreckless Eric version)
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (o10xL)
Posted by: Ace's liver
"the drink-dispensing belt buckle"
You more than prove my point!
Posted by: Sharrukin at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (593B8)
Nightfall (from the Isaac Asimov short/novella)
It seemed to have been made by a community college drama and film department, the movie was so bad they tried spicing it up with 'simulated' sex no real sex scenes, just lots of blankets and 'humping' under blankets. The whole thing was SO bad we started counting those scenes and got to around 30-35 for a 90 min movie.
And that's just the beginning of the 'horror'.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:42 PM (n72ys)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:43 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:44 PM (gofDd)
I was roped into watching it back in my undergrad days, with a bunch of folks who seemed to enjoy it. I remember emoting once during it- and that was laughing during the opening, when Maggie Gyllenhal announced at the dinner table that she'd voted for Dukakis. No one else got the joke...
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 29, 2010 11:45 PM (UKELC)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:45 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:46 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:46 PM (o10xL)
Heh, that's how I ended up watching it, too. I was unimpressed, but I think I snickered at the Dukakis line, too.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:46 PM (gofDd)
Really? I liked Bridget Jones's Diary. Even though Hugh Grant is, on the whole, very annoying.
Posted by: Ace's liver at January 29, 2010 11:47 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: kefka at January 29, 2010 11:47 PM (n1uMU)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:47 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 29, 2010 11:48 PM (UKELC)
Poor Michael Crichton... other than Jurassic Park, has there been any descent movie made out of one of his books?
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:48 PM (Y9WXU)
I never saw it, but I hear good things about it all the time. Cannot take Renee Z to watch it, though. I also hate Hugh Grant. I can tolerate him in Love Actually and that's it.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:48 PM (gofDd)
I mean really, how does one do Starship Troopers without even a mention of powered armor?
Trivia note, they used the ST uniforms in Firefly for the Alliance troops, so it wasn't a total loss I guess.
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:49 PM (jVHWM)
There's 'not living up to the book' and 'Oh my GOD, how did the author or his estate EVER sign off on this'
The Nightfall movie was horrible, Starship troopers was about 10^18375th times better.
It's so bad it went from bad to good to bad to good to bad bad bad. Worst part is it never bothered to stop at any of the 'good' places in that chain it just went directly to bad bad bad. It is one of the worst movies I've ever seen including most of the MST3K source movies... really really bad.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:49 PM (n72ys)
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot.
Jesus God was that one a fuckin' train wreck. I can't see how Stallone ever worked again.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:49 PM (P33XN)
Sphere was my favorite Crichton book at the time that they released the film, so I went to see it. I still regret that decision and still bitch about the fact that they couldn't even get the look of the sphere correct, let alone any of the plot.
The only good movie to come out of Crichton's lesser known novels (anything other than JP) is the 13th Warrior. It's so wrong, but so different, that it's a completely separate entity than the book. And it's good solid action.
We won't even go into Sahara (Cussler's novel), which I won't even consider watching. Matthew McConahey (whatever) as Dirk Pitt? And that little pipsqueak as Al? Blasphemy.
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:50 PM (afWhQ)
Posted by: ms. docweasel at January 29, 2010 11:50 PM (kgwdA)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (o10xL)
No, Troll 2 is so bad it's pure fucking genius.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (P33XN)
Anything with Keanu Reeves
A majority of the movies on the Hallmark Channel
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (zmiSr)
Haha, your name reminds me -- Soul Plane -- anything with Snoop Dogg and Tom Arnold has to be good.
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (Y9WXU)
Oh, that reminds me, worse book to movie ever: Timeline.
I was sooooooo disappointed too because I absolutely loved the book.
Was Andromeda Strain any good? I only saw parts of it and it was a 70s movie. I started the book but never finished it.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:51 PM (gofDd)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:52 PM (n72ys)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:52 PM (o10xL)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:53 PM (n72ys)
Event Horizon.
V for Vendetta.
Posted by: fiatboomer at January 29, 2010 11:54 PM (0Wf6c)
I'm partial to Evil Dead 2 over Army of Darkness, personally- AoD has gotten a bit overexposed, methinks.
Along the same lines, Dead*Alive is also high-quality. Can't go wrong with Kung-Fu priests fighting the undead and zombie babies wreaking havoc on playgrounds.
I'd say- and a lot of people would disagree with this- that "Shoot 'Em Up" fits into the "so-bad-it's-good" category. That, and Punisher: War Zone, and...
Suffice to say, my "so-bad-it's-good" list would run for dozens of pages.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 29, 2010 11:54 PM (UKELC)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:54 PM (o10xL)
The China Syndrome.
Not because it was a bad film with performances, but because it has kept America from developing our nuclear power potential.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 29, 2010 11:54 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 29, 2010 11:55 PM (jVHWM)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:56 PM (o10xL)
Hahaha, you're right. As I was typing that I knew it sounded wrong.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:56 PM (gofDd)
The movie where Bruce Campbell dies in the first five minutes. If he had been the main character the movie may have been less of a total piece of shit.
Posted by: fiatboomer at January 29, 2010 11:56 PM (0Wf6c)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 29, 2010 11:56 PM (n72ys)
I was sooooooo disappointed too because I absolutely loved the book.
Was Andromeda Strain any good? I only saw parts of it and it was a 70s movie. I started the book but never finished it.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 03:51 AM (gofDd)
Yes. Timeline was a horrible adaptation. The book was really good, though I think he wussed out on the ending just a little bit. Still, anything about time travel and I love it. The movie just ruined everything.
Jurassic Park III - second worst adaptation. They combined two kids into one kid and made her the adopted daughter of the mathematician? Whaaat? Only the raptors made up for that.
Andromeda Strain the book is good. The movie? I don't remember it, so it must not be horrible. It must have been boring. I think there was a modern remake, too... but I could have memory issues.
I can't read TV tropes on Crichton - they bash him over their beloved global warming.. even though he was correct. bitches.
Posted by: soulpile at January 29, 2010 11:56 PM (afWhQ)
I was sooooooo disappointed too because I absolutely loved the book.
Was Andromeda Strain any good? I only saw parts of it and it was a 70s movie. I started the book but never finished it.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 03:51 AM (gofDd)
That's the recent one I was thinking of. I think it was on USA or something not too long ago. Jesus, what a freakin turd that was.
Posted by: little evil at January 29, 2010 11:57 PM (Y9WXU)
The Mummy 3 was horrible. I liked the first 2, but the 3rd was intolerable.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 29, 2010 11:57 PM (gofDd)
Seriously. Has anyone here seen Evita, and still disputes this?
Posted by: wooga at January 29, 2010 11:59 PM (IhzyJ)
Posted by: Pug at January 29, 2010 11:59 PM (BbeaP)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 29, 2010 11:59 PM (o10xL)
There was JP 2 and JP 3. I think you're talking about 2. I didn't mind it too much, but I didn't love it as much as the first one.
JP 3 was...meh. I liked that they added in elements of the book into the 3rd movie, that had been left out of the first movie, but it was just kinda thrown together and the plot was stupid. I kept hoping the dinos would eat William H Macy and Tea Leoni.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:00 AM (gofDd)
Maybe it's been so long that I'd actually enjoy it. As long as reading the book again was done after watching. Sahara was my first Pitt book, so I'm a bit on edge about crappy movies from it. Should probably pick up the Pitt series again... been about 15 years since I read one.
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:00 AM (afWhQ)
Posted by: moviegique at January 30, 2010 12:00 AM (1y5Vr)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:00 AM (jVHWM)
Another Rifftraxed movie. Gotta love a movie with the word troll in the title with no trolls in the movie.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 12:00 AM (n72ys)
It's one of those parody of culture reference things, like Psych (though Psych is so much better).
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at January 30, 2010 12:01 AM (zmiSr)
I loved State of Fear. Great book.
Has anyone here seen Evita, and still disputes this?
I saw it. I don't even remember half of it. Or most of it. And Banderas as Che is completely unbelievable.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:01 AM (gofDd)
You want awful Mummy movies? The original black and white "Mummy" series from the 30s-40s ran for five films. The first one is amazing, the second one is all right. Those two are followed not by one, but by three abysmal sequels (I think the third one spent about 1/3rd of its 70 minute running time showing flashbacks from the previous movie). Not only that, but those three follow the exact same plot almost to the letter.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:01 AM (UKELC)
WITH CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER AS RALPH! What the hell were they thinking?
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:02 AM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:02 AM (o10xL)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:02 AM (gofDd)
Leguizamo I will always associate with Super Mario Bros., a film so offensive to the eye and ear that a killed the people that watched it with me and buried them in shallow graves out in the forest.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 30, 2010 12:02 AM (P33XN)
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at January 30, 2010 12:03 AM (zmiSr)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:04 AM (jVHWM)
Oh thank you VERY much I had totally blocked that from my memory, I think it's called hysterical amnesia or something.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 12:04 AM (n72ys)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:05 AM (o10xL)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:05 AM (jVHWM)
I remember seeing a few commercials for it. Also, SciFi channel did some stuff to promote it.
Posted by: kefka at January 30, 2010 12:05 AM (n1uMU)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:06 AM (jVHWM)
I'm drawing a fine line here, but DMTH wasn't a slasher. It was more of a- well, I don't know what you'd call it. Supernatural slapstick, something like that (It was Raimi, so he was rocking a lot of Evil Dead/AoD stylings). But a slasher it was not- and I say that as somebody who owns and has watched every Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street multiple times.
And having revealed myself to be the creepy horror nerd, I shall slink off to a corner...
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:06 AM (UKELC)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:07 AM (gofDd)
I have lots of issues with how the kids are portrayed in that series. They mixed up the roles in JP1... and that was the whole point in the book! The girl liked boy stuff, the boy liked girl stuff, and then the movie switched it back to standard gender roles.
For JP: The Lost World, though - I liked the godzilla moment in the movie. It's not in the book, but it was a great addition. It almost made up for the out-of-character bs they pulled.
And yes, I love the raptors in both films. The grass scene in #2 was pretty great.
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:08 AM (afWhQ)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 30, 2010 04:02 AM (P33XN)
I honestly think he was worse in Ice Age. But Ice Age just kinda got under my skin and really irritated me. It was such a hack job of stupid cliches. With "cute" furry things. Bleh.
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 04:05 AM (o10xL)
Clown. Spawn. *shudders*
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:09 AM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:09 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:09 AM (o10xL)
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:09 AM (QrA9E)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:10 AM (o10xL)
Posted by: kefka at January 30, 2010 12:10 AM (n1uMU)
Yes! Terrorizing San Diego! (And wow gas was cheap back then! There's a shot of a gas station in one of the scenes.)
The raptors are my favorite. I want one for a pet. That won't eat me.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:10 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:11 AM (QrA9E)
That and Happiness were beyond disturbing. I was scarred after watching both.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:11 AM (gofDd)
Yeah, I have kids so I've seen all three of them.
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:12 AM (jVHWM)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:12 AM (o10xL)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (jVHWM)
Posted by: chicocano at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (2n5cq)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 04:10 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:14 AM (o10xL)
It is funny because the squirrel DIES!
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:16 AM (jVHWM)
Has anyone seen any Elvis movies lately?
I saw part of King Creole and the end of Blue Hawaii. They were so cheesy I liked them. But I'm way lenient about any movie made before the 70s.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:17 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 12:18 AM (n72ys)
It's not considered an awful movie in the conventional sense, but I finally watched "A Clockwork Orange" tonight. That's an experience that I hope to never have to repeat again.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:19 AM (UKELC)
Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at January 30, 2010 12:20 AM (o10xL)
A.I. was bad and boring.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:20 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 12:21 AM (n72ys)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:22 AM (gofDd)
Yeah, I took a break about midway through (When Alex was in the prison courtyard and was picked for the "project"), and considered whether to go on- finally did, because I'm trying to work through all of Kubrick's flicks. Regardless, I found myself uncomfortable throughout- for all of the horror movies that I've seen, this had me feeling more uneasy than almost any of those.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:23 AM (UKELC)
Why all the hatin' on Elvis movies? They did one thing very well, act as a vehicle to get his music out there. One thing you can say about the Elvis movie is every stinking one of them made a profit. Something you can not say about any other star.
In any case, he had some I liked, he had some I didn't like. Oh, and I watched Follow That Dream on HD Net Movies a few months ago. That is one of the ones I like.
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:26 AM (QrA9E)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:26 AM (jVHWM)
At least the opening sequence has Salma Hayek getting up out of an innertube. That was really, really hot.
A truly bad movie has no redeeming qualities.
Posted by: wooga at January 30, 2010 12:26 AM (IhzyJ)
Willow
Up from the Depths
Ice Pirates
Posted by: Kyle Kiernan at January 30, 2010 12:27 AM (VO2Bb)
Also, Willow is a good movie. As is Labrinth (Labrynth?).
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:29 AM (afWhQ)
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:29 AM (QrA9E)
That's a Val Kilmer classic.
Actually, other than Top Gun and Heat, has Val Kilmer been in any movie that was any good?
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:32 AM (Y9WXU)
Alex is supposed to be an evil person - and Kubrick tends to glamorize it to a disturbing level. But the point of the story is that when Alex is robbed of free will, he still remains an evil person. The final chapter of the book has Alex seeing the one of his old thug buddies and realizing he should change his ways voluntarily.
(text is here: http://pagesperso-orange.fr/chabrieres/texts/clockwork_orange.html)
Posted by: wooga at January 30, 2010 12:34 AM (IhzyJ)
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:35 AM (UKELC)
Top Secret.
Posted by: wooga at January 30, 2010 12:35 AM (IhzyJ)
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:35 AM (jVHWM)
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:36 AM (afWhQ)
The Island of Dr Moreau.
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:37 AM (afWhQ)
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was awesome. The Ghost and the Darkness was also pretty good.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 04:34 AM (UKELC)
I've never seen the first one. But I completely forgot about Ghost and the Darkness. And that was pretty good.
Guess I was thinking more about his horrible Batman movie, and The Saint, and the one an old gf had me watch where he was blind.
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:38 AM (Y9WXU)
Real Genius.
Posted by: Ace's liver at January 30, 2010 12:39 AM (LtIsn)
Thanks for the link. After I watched the movie, I did a bit of research on wikipedia and found out about the novel's ending. I think the themes about free will are still in the film- and pushed to the fore at points- but, from what I read, Kubrick's ending more or less resulted from his seeming need to end most everything he does on an uber-cynical note (Which I don't mind in most cases, but Clockwork Orange was bleak enough as was...). Also, I guess the American version of the novel cuts out that last chapter, and Kubrick wrote the screenplay based off of his reading of that version. I guess he didn't find out about Burgess's true ending until he'd already written up the script, and he didn't want to change it by that point. I do agree with you that that ending radically alters the tone of the story, and its implications.
...That's what wikipedia tells me, anyway.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:39 AM (UKELC)
"I'm your huckleberry." That was a good Doc Holliday.
Sorry, Val, didn't mean to trash your reputation.
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:39 AM (Y9WXU)
I wonder if he has ever portrayed a giant penis, he seems to be good at being a prick.
Posted by: GreenGasEmissions at January 30, 2010 12:40 AM (jVHWM)
Willow? interminable, boring, pointless, daft.
Posted by: Kyle Kiernan at January 30, 2010 12:41 AM (VO2Bb)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:41 AM (gofDd)
I'd recommend Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It's written by Shane Black, who wrote the scripts for Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, and the like. It's kind of a modern-day action/crime flick with noir trappings, and it's got some solid comedic elements to it. Val Kilmer is pretty good in it, and Robert Downey Jr. is amazing.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:42 AM (UKELC)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 04:41 AM (gofDd)
See: Robert Redford. Karma's a bitch.
Also, Luke Wilson. What happened? Ok, well... he was a bit girlie to start, though.
Aged well: Sean Connery, Clint Eastwood (depends.. he might be old and wrinkly, but he still kicks ass)
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:43 AM (afWhQ)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:44 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:47 AM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:48 AM (afWhQ)
Oh, I know! He was a hottie as a young 'un. Now...not so much.
Sean Connery looks amazing, even now. I also agree re Clint.
You know who also didn't age well (altho he was weird looking to begin with): Gene Wilder.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:49 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:50 AM (gofDd)
has Val Kilmer been in any movie that was any good?
Tombstone was good, in fact I thought that was his best movie. As for Top Gun, other than the F-14 scenes and the bar scene with the "You Lost That Lovin Feelin" I thought that movie was bad.
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:51 AM (QrA9E)
Oh man. Curse you google! That is scary.
Posted by: soulpile at January 30, 2010 12:51 AM (afWhQ)
Posted by: little evil at January 30, 2010 12:52 AM (Y9WXU)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:53 AM (gofDd)
It's a British movie about two men who are potato delivery van drivers. They deliver potatoes to restaurants and so forth. Apparently that's a job over there, who knew?
If you've seen The Full Monty and thought it was funny, then you'll like this movie too.
It ain't Lawrence of Arabia or Casablanca, but it sure as hell doesn't belong on a list of the WORST movies either.
I'd also like to point out that Battlefield Earth is definitely worse than Batman and Robin.
Battlefield Earth proved beyond all doubt that L. Ron Hubbard's science fiction efforts were just as fucked up and pathetic as his efforts to create a fascist death cult disguised as a religion.
Posted by: Lee at January 30, 2010 12:53 AM (8cnnJ)
Sum of All Fears. Worst John Ryan movie evah!
What really pissed me off about that one, other than once again they trashed a good book, was that they used 9-11 as an excuse to go PC on the asshole terrorists.
It should have been the other way around. This was Hollywood at its typical PC BS worst.
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:54 AM (QrA9E)
Affleck, hands down.
Baldwin was actually pretty good looking when he was skinny. Even as a fat man he doesn't look so bad. And while he's a moonbat of the worst kind, I adore his character on 30 Rock. I think he completely makes the show.
Oh and speaking of Affleck-- Daredevil. That movie was beyond horrible.
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:54 AM (gofDd)
I saw that in the theater- I've got all of the other Clancy movies (Red October, Patriot Games, Clear and Present Danger) and completist though I am, I can't bring myself to pick up that piece of crap. It's doubly disappointing because the book is actually very good- I'm reading it right now, and the plot is so much better than what I remember from the movie.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:54 AM (UKELC)
I was reading a comment- maybe here, maybe someplace else. Somebody was talking about that new movie that he's in with Meryl Streep, and noted that he looks like he's about to explode. I did notice that while watching 30 Rock earlier- between the red face and the neck bulging in the collar, he looks like he's about to spontaneously combust.
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:56 AM (UKELC)
Posted by: stanthecaddy at January 30, 2010 12:57 AM (UKELC)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 12:57 AM (gofDd)
The other thing that pissed me off about Sum of All Fears was that I fucked up and bought the DVD based on the other movies in the series instead of waiting for a rental.
They should have renamed the movie because when they got done it had zero tie to the book.
Posted by: Vic at January 30, 2010 12:59 AM (QrA9E)
Posted by: David Gillies at January 30, 2010 01:03 AM (g4zXx)
Anyone on this post cannot tell me that plan 9 is not the worst turkey ever made or conceived. It was supposed to be a shock thriller for the drive inn movie craze of the fifties.
It starred Bela Lugosi who died about half way through the filming. Ed Wood was not detered,because he used his double who was about a foot taller. The plot was never to be seen. A flaming spaceship landing ,was a pie plate loaded with lighter fluid riding on a wire. The so called heroes ran through a cemetery where the headstones fell over like cardboard. The spaceship lands, and they open the door, where they see a table and chairs. Don't forget the curtains around the window. You get the drift. The most awesome turkey ever, complete with an action trailer.
Posted by: chicocano at January 30, 2010 01:04 AM (2n5cq)
Posted by: moviegique at January 30, 2010 02:05 AM (1y5Vr)
Posted by: moviegique at January 30, 2010 02:15 AM (1y5Vr)
Posted by: Lee at January 30, 2010 02:24 AM (8cnnJ)
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 30, 2010 03:33 AM (euuyg)
I'll stick up for Raise the Titanic. There's only so much you can do to make a Clive Cussler novel into a movie on that budget. But I'd read the book the year before and loved it. Yeah, I was in fourth grade, don't care. Still have it on VHS.
Admittedly Richard Jordan was not a good pick for Dirk Pitt, but Jordan (God rest him) should have gotten a posthumous Oscar for Gettysburg.
Posted by: SGT Dan at January 30, 2010 04:08 AM (GgXZc)
Posted by: nickless at January 30, 2010 04:12 AM (MMC8r)
notice that no John Wayne movies are listed in the "bad" category.
we're snowed in here in south central Virginia so I'll be watching the "Duke".
Posted by: kelley in virginia at January 30, 2010 04:22 AM (TEIZr)
Posted by: CDR M at January 30, 2010 04:30 AM (cvmTR)
What really irked me at the time is American Beauty won five (?) Academy Awards!
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 04:32 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at January 30, 2010 04:40 AM (SB0V2)
The National Lampoon Vacation series peaked at Vacation, although I'd say that Christmas Vacation is actually a bit better than European Vacation. But there is nothing redeeming about Vegas Vacation - what a crap-fest!
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:02 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: Dread President Obama at January 30, 2010 05:05 AM (yO8ge)
Posted by: UGAdawg at January 30, 2010 05:08 AM (/VjHB)
Posted by: Soap MacTavish at January 30, 2010 05:08 AM (554T5)
Posted by: scottythrust at January 30, 2010 05:09 AM (VTeUD)
There are some awful movies on that list but none are any worse than the following:
Phantom of the Paradise
Cinderella Liberty
Cover Me Babe
The Strawberry Statement
Showgirls (on the list) and Amistad (not on the list but mentioned by morons) were both utterly horrible. What else did they have in common? NPR followed the making of both films with weekly updates and praised them as works of cinematic genius.
Posted by: Tinian at January 30, 2010 05:11 AM (7+pP9)
Damn, forgot about that one. I would say that 2012 is a better disaster movie than The Day After Tommorow. Hell, even Independance Day is better.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:13 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: Amused Observer at January 30, 2010 05:14 AM (EioPx)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:18 AM (otlXg)
Opinions. Take Limburger cheese.Whether you like it or not, it would be difficult to say it didn't impact your senses with a very loud memory and perhaps that is Limburger cheese's only goal in life. Some people actually like it. Some people actually make it and, who knows, they might even be proud of their "skill". Both parties are okay with it. They may or may not belong in the lowest caste of Obama's Global Paradise like me, perhaps, for defending Glitter. We must wait until He decides. I believe He will address those crises as soon as He has fixed the Great NCAA Football BCS Crisis.
Because, really, at the end of the day, it is what it is.
Which reminds me. Would anyone here consider writing out a top ten or twenty most pretentious and over used catch phrases?
Posted by: ed davis at January 30, 2010 05:25 AM (OXIwN)
Posted by: TC at January 30, 2010 05:27 AM (QXKjZ)
That movie was doomed from the start, as it was based off the Doom 3 video game. But WTF was with the directors making the monsters' origin genetic instead of from Hell? The only grace for that movie was the 5-10 minute FPS point of view. If they had made the movie more like that, it might have been better despite the horrible script.
And Uwe Boll had better never touch the GoW franchise. I can just imagine him casting somebody like Christian Slater for the role of Kratos, which would displease me (and the other GoW fanboys) greatly.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:27 AM (otlXg)
I saw this movie from the fifties awhile back called "The Twonkey" on one of the cable movie channels. Hands down, it was easily the worse movie I have ever seen. Makes an Ed Wood movie look like something from Cecille B. Demille or Orson Welles
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 05:27 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: rockmom at January 30, 2010 05:32 AM (w/gVZ)
Jade wasn't too bad...oh, nobody believes that! I just watched it on Skinemax because it had Linda Fiorentino doing things in it. Decadent things...
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:32 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: ed davis at January 30, 2010 05:33 AM (OXIwN)
Dear leader speaks:
"The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries."
-Barack Obama
Posted by: Pre Paid Sex Monster at January 30, 2010 05:36 AM (0fzsA)
I take it most of you have never seen Showgirls. Otherwise you would not even be discussing any other movie. I guess if you're a guy at least it has some tits and ass, but jeez-o-pete that has to be the worst script ever, and the acting is just beyond horrible. Even Gina Gershon couldn't save it.
Posted by: rockmom at January 30, 2010 09:32 AM (w/gVZ)
FIFY and also, thats why it doesnt make the list. Gratuitous T&A makes even the worse movie worth watching.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 05:37 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: Britney Spears at January 30, 2010 05:38 AM (4Kl5M)
Posted by: ed davis at January 30, 2010 05:38 AM (OXIwN)
I saw this movie from the fifties awhile back called "The Twonkey" on one of the cable movie channels. Hands down, it was easily the worse movie I have ever seen. Makes an Ed Wood movie look like something from Cecille B. Demille or Orson Welles
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 09:27 AM (t72+4)
I thought it was great!Posted by: Tinian at January 30, 2010 05:39 AM (7+pP9)
"Zelig"
"Popeye" - Robin Williams just can't do comedy
I was subjected to these things because my brother has exquisitely bad taste in movies and I was a kid at the time with no other way to get to the movies.
"Dogville" - This may have gotten better after the first 5 minutes but at the time I didn't feel I would live long enough to make it worth finding out
"Shooter" - the stereotypes of Southerners and the conspiracy mongering was too much for me
"Loose Change"
Posted by: Voluble at January 30, 2010 05:39 AM (nZNTl)
The only such movie that I can think of that is watchable-bad is Resident Evil. But the latter two RE movies, dear Lord! Resident Evil: Degeneration, which was CGI and not live-action, was actually pretty decent and took elements from the Resident Evil 1 through 4 games.
I've heard rumors that there's a live action RE:4 movie. Doesn't Paul Anderson ever learn?!
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:39 AM (otlXg)
Posted by: artesianorst at January 30, 2010 05:41 AM (o8UHF)
Posted by: RobD at January 30, 2010 05:43 AM (wGIVf)
Here's a review about it, done by Phelous of the That Guy With the Glasses website.
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 05:46 AM (otlXg)
Transylvania 6-5000, one of the only movies I've ever walked out of. To bad Jeff Goldbloom is dead.
Posted by: RobD at January 30, 2010 09:43 AM (wGIVf)
He's been dead for twenty years, but somehow he keeps making movies.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 05:47 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: ed davis at January 30, 2010 05:49 AM (OXIwN)
Posted by: Mr. Roper at January 30, 2010 05:50 AM (hAfJc)
Anyone who thinks that Hollywood isn't falling apart should consider the following lists. The first is the winners of the Oscar for Best Picture from 1950 through 1959:
All About Eve
An American in Paris
The Greatest Show on Earth
From here to Eternity
On the Waterfront
Marty
Around the World in Eighty Days
The Bridge on the River Kwai
Gigi
Ben-Hur
And the now the list of winners for Best Picture from 2000 through 2008:
Gladiator
A Beautiful Mind
Chicago
LOTR: The Return of the King
Million Dollar Baby
Crash
The Departed
No Country for Old Men
Slumdog Millionaire
The 1950s movies, at the very least, were solidly crafted and entertaining. I can't think of any that I wouldn't mind seeing again, and at least half are classics.
The 2000 list is, I think, a real drop off. Only two are classics, I think: "Chicago" and "LOTR". "Beautiful Mind" was Ron Howard's consolation prize, the Oscar he should have won for "Apollo 13", but not much of a movie in its own right. "Crash" is a piece of crap. The rest: meh.
Posted by: Brown Line at January 30, 2010 05:51 AM (YBJK6)
Posted by: RobD at January 30, 2010 05:53 AM (wGIVf)
Transylvania 6-5000, one of the only movies I've ever walked out of. To bad Jeff Goldbloom is dead.
Posted by: RobD at January 30, 2010 09:43 AM (wGIVf)
He's been dead for twenty years, but somehow he keeps making movies.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 09:47 AM (t72+4)
And thus begins the zombie apocalypse.
Posted by: Josef K. at January 30, 2010 05:55 AM (7+pP9)
Posted by: ed davis at January 30, 2010 05:55 AM (OXIwN)
I also hated Amadeus and Moulin Rouge. I can't understand why they were popular. Both almost made me frow up.
Posted by: Tinian at January 30, 2010 05:56 AM (7+pP9)
For the love of god, I was just getting ready to make breakfast and discovered that we are all out of bacon and theres a raging blizzard outside.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 05:56 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 06:00 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 06:02 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 06:04 AM (n72ys)
Weekly Republican radio address:
http://tinyurl.com/yb53asn
Posted by: Tami at January 30, 2010 06:04 AM (VuLos)
Posted by: UGAdawg at January 30, 2010 06:05 AM (/VjHB)
Blazer, do you mean to tell me that you'd let a raging blizzard keep you from getting bacon? What a puss!
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 10:02 AM (UOM4
Hell no, I have a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo. Just need to get dressed and I'm off. Hell, i'm getting sausage too.
Next you'll say you don't have any pudding in the house. WTF.
Posted by: Evil-Bun-Bun at January 30, 2010 10:04 AM (n72ys)
No, but I do have some buttermilk pancake mix, which will make an adequate substitute.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 06:11 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: Gary B at January 30, 2010 06:12 AM (1gWfF)
Posted by: Paladin at January 30, 2010 06:14 AM (XZu3c)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 06:15 AM (YxJoH)
Holy shit, it really is a movie. Now, how the hell did I miss that one?
Posted by: antisocialist at January 30, 2010 06:15 AM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 06:15 AM (YxJoH)
The movie starts with a Johny being on an island. A good guy tells Johnny, "An atomic bomb will go off in 5 minutes....... run!" Then it starts being unbelievable.
Posted by: LousisanaLightning at January 30, 2010 06:16 AM (Nsz+x)
And Being There? You've got to be fucking kidding me! A satire on our TV/soundbite culture featuring Peter Sellers' best performance ever? What, not enough pratfalls for you?
And the original Andromeda Strain is right down the pipe everything it should have been. Easily the best hard-SF movie I can think of. You want bad, check out the Bravo remake from a year-or-so ago.
Shit, even Zardoz is a much better story than you pukes give it credit for. Sure, it's nuts, but it's a brilliantly mad vision, and all you weasels can go on about is 'Connery in a diaper.' Well, it worked for Tarzan.
"Popeye" - Robin Williams just can't do comedy
No, Popeye is proof that Robert Altman can't do comedy. Williams was fine for the part, Fieffer's script was fine, it was Altman and his verite, slow, ponderous, lifeless style that beat the fuck out of that film.
Posted by: nickless at January 30, 2010 06:17 AM (MMC8r)
I've never seen it, but I think one of the guys in it is one of the pirates throughout Pirates of the Caribbean. He's funny in those movies.
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 06:17 AM (YxJoH)
Posted by: Paladin at January 30, 2010 10:14 AM (XZu3c)
I get dragged through "La Femme Nikita" every single time it comes on - hubby thinks it's some kind of cinematic masterpiece. I think it blows.
Posted by: antisocialist at January 30, 2010 06:17 AM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 10:17 AM (YxJoH)
Yeah, Mackenzie Crook plays one of the two pirates that keep calling Keira Knightley "poppet" - the one with the glass eye, if I'm not mistaken.
Posted by: antisocialist at January 30, 2010 06:20 AM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 06:21 AM (YxJoH)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 06:22 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: antisocialist at January 30, 2010 06:23 AM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 06:25 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 06:36 AM (UOM48)
I watched a bit of a 2007 production of Marco Polo last night.
...know who played Kublai Khan???
BRIAN FUCKING DENNEHY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: beedubya at January 30, 2010 06:39 AM (AnTyA)
OT: from Rasmussen
The president in the speech declared that his administration has cut taxes for 95% of Americans. He even chided Republicans for not applauding on that point. However, just 21% of voters nationwide believe that taxes have been cut for 95% of Americans. Most (53%) say it has not happened, and 26% are not sure. Other polling shows that nearly half the nationÂ’s voters expect their own taxes to go up during the Obama years.
The president also asserted that “after two years of recession, the economy is growing again.” Just 35% of voters believe that statement is true, while 50% say it is false.
Obama claimed that steps taken by his team are responsible for putting two million people to work “who would otherwise be unemployed.” Just 27% of voters say that statement is true. Fifty-one percent (51%) say it’s false. …
As for the claim about two million jobs, 46% of Democrats say itÂ’s true, while 77% of Republicans say itÂ’s not. As for those not affiliated with either major party, 24% say itÂ’s true, and 59% say itÂ’s false.
Posted by: Beelzebub at January 30, 2010 06:42 AM (nyIPp)
Posted by: Dr. Evil at January 30, 2010 06:47 AM (UT5mg)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at January 30, 2010 06:50 AM (SB0V2)
Ghostbusters 2. Bad on its own, utter failure given the perfection of the first installment.
Yor, Hunter from The Future. So bad you have to make it to the end.
Freddy Got Fingered. Whoever mentioned this before is spot on. I only made it to the end because I was paralyzed from the shock of such a piece of shit movie.
Caddyshack 2. See Ghostbusters two, except it wasn't even good on its own.
Titanic. Just the number of times the main couple experienced near death was enough to make the movie tiresome. Then there's the rest of the bad.
Anything prior to anything called Episode IV. Common knowledge.
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 30, 2010 06:51 AM (U37Ux)
136 129 I don't see how Eyes Wide Shut isn't on that list. I second that. I think critics liked this movie because they either didn't want to admit it that they didn't understand it, or because it was Kubrick's last movie. Or both. Posted by: Jason at January 30, 2010 12:31 AM (sV0Yw) That movie made sex appear to be boring and unappealing. Kind of like space travel in 2001.
yep, any list of this kind must have Eyes Wide Shut on it. it was so painful and un-sexy and boring and stupid and long. by that stage in his life it's apparent that Kubrik was senile or running on fumes. it stunk.
Posted by: exceller at January 30, 2010 06:54 AM (Z7Znk)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 30, 2010 06:54 AM (U37Ux)
Posted by: gman at January 30, 2010 06:55 AM (ifq/U)
Oh yeah, did anyone mention that 80's space flick with Molly Ringwald in it? Pure fucking hilarity!
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 30, 2010 10:54 AM (U37Ux)
Yea, that would be Spacehunter: Adventures In The Forbidden Zone. Corman's, Battle Beyond The Stars was pretty gottdamm awful too, but it had Sandahl Bergman in skimpy space garb, so it at least had that going for it.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 07:00 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: Countrysquire at January 30, 2010 07:01 AM (X0WG3)
Posted by: Countrysquire at January 30, 2010 07:12 AM (X0WG3)
#633 Yor, Hunter from The Future. So bad you have to make it to the end.
I only know of this "masterpiece" because Spoony did a review of it.
Santa's Slay and Skinned Deep? ugh.
Oh, another bad movie just popped into my head: The House of Sand and Fog
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 07:19 AM (9hSKh)
Early in the movie there is a 4 second scene during which Nicole Kidman takes of her clothes to reveal a very nice body. At that point I should have turned off the TV. Awful beyond measure. How Kubrick filled a movie with naked women and then made it boring is beyond me.
Posted by: NJConservative at January 30, 2010 07:20 AM (/Ywwg)
Posted by: Prince of Space at January 30, 2010 07:22 AM (dcKUM)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 07:22 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Pelayo at January 30, 2010 07:23 AM (8NGHm)
How could Armegeddon not make this list?
I always thought that if they had combined all the good of Armageddon and Deep Impact, while tossing all the bad, we could have been left with a good meteor movie with a runtime of under 1:45.
Posted by: Burn the Witch at January 30, 2010 07:26 AM (U37Ux)
Posted by: inspectorudy at January 30, 2010 07:28 AM (Vo1wX)
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 07:31 AM (UOM48)
Posted by: section9 at January 30, 2010 07:34 AM (H6lGz)
Posted by: huerfano at January 30, 2010 07:36 AM (sf1Eo)
And what, no honorable mention for the affront to the memory of Robert A. Heinlein that was Starship Troopers?
Posted by: section9 at January 30, 2010 11:34 AM (H6lGz)
What saved that movie was Clancy Brown as the Drill Sgt. and Michael Ironside as the teacher. Doogie Howser was pretty good as well in it.
Posted by: Blazer at January 30, 2010 07:39 AM (t72+4)
Posted by: the peanut gallery at January 30, 2010 07:41 AM (mg/vv)
658 The Happening wasn't that bad. Not 8th-worst-movie-of-all-time bad. It shouldn't even be on the list.
So, Marky-Mark, Bones's even more retarded sister, hammy acting, a "story" with plot-holes you can drive a Star-Destroyer through, all for a movie whose sole gimmack is that it's M. Night's first R rated film isn't enough for you?
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 07:48 AM (9hSKh)
I kid, but Jackson's brutal violation of the story and ideals of the books with a barbed steel cactus was too much to take.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at January 30, 2010 07:48 AM (PQY7w)
Posted by: Tami at January 30, 2010 07:50 AM (VuLos)
There really ought to be separate categories for movies that try hard to be A movies and fail spectacularly (Matrix 2, Bram Stoker's Dracula) and the ones that are okay with being mediocre B movies but of course pale in comparison to good A movies. An entertaining B movie beats a bad A movie any day of the week.
So by that metric, Night of the Comet, probably one of the worst movies ever made, is superior to Phantom Menace.
Posted by: Average Jen at January 30, 2010 07:51 AM (fRnux)
Posted by: bullwhacker at January 30, 2010 07:55 AM (aMpG9)
Posted by: Jane D'oh!
My thoughts too. ..but, it's not so much their politics. It's the fact that they have to be so in-your-face and offensive about it.
...thing is..if you listen to these idiots, none of them really are very knowledgeable on politics. They just parrot the lefty line.
I have acquanintances who know Clooney pretty well. They went to HS and then collge with him at Northern KY University...where he flunked out after a year. To a person, they all think he is pretty much a dumbfuck and a douchebag.
They're from a very, very small town on the Ohio River called Maysville, Kentucky. Not too much goes on there, and you would think that being the hometown of one of the biggest celebrities on the planet would be a source of pride. No so. It seems he's almost an embarrassment there.
One of my favorite actors...Paul Newman...was a dyed-in-the-wool Democrat. I had seen interviews where he was aked to expound on his political beliefs. he would give some generalities...and then move on. He had an emotional maturaity that these other assclowns sorely lack.
This thread is about the worst movies, but two of my favorite are Newman movies...The Verdict and Absence of Malice
Posted by: beedubya at January 30, 2010 07:56 AM (AnTyA)
I went through an art-house phase in my 20s...ergo, I watched "Magnolia." This effectively ended my art-house phase, but at least it served as a touchstone for gauging movie critics--I now know not to trust the cyborg formerly known as Roger Ebert.
I had to go watch "Saving Private Ryan" to re-qualify for my man card.
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 30, 2010 08:04 AM (DPM1U)
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 30, 2010 08:06 AM (DPM1U)
Posted by: Captain Hate at January 30, 2010 08:08 AM (mnCO0)
Posted by: bullwhacker at January 30, 2010 08:08 AM (aMpG9)
OT, now that the topic has been thoroughly explored:
You would think the administration has more pressing issues than the BCS.
Posted by: The Outlaw in the Heavenly Hall at January 30, 2010 08:09 AM (zxrQh)
I was forced to watch Legends of the Fall on a flight to L.A. one time.
I went to see it with a friend who just loved it, she was in tears at the end. I was in agony through the whole thing. It just would not end.
Posted by: huerfano at January 30, 2010 08:10 AM (sf1Eo)
Xanadu often gets mentioned as a dreadul movie, and yeah, the director is a left wing fruitcake who made the "documentary" Outfoxed...
But wasn'tt Olivia Newton John glorious looking in that movie?" C'mon, you gotta admit.
Posted by: Reggie1971 at January 30, 2010 08:10 AM (xIqkW)
But wasn'tt Olivia Newton John glorious looking in that movie?"
I may be showing my age here, but yeah. I was a big fan of Olivia Neutron Bomb's ass.
Posted by: The Outlaw in the Heavenly Hall at January 30, 2010 08:13 AM (zxrQh)
"really cool" and "Barry Lyndon" should never be in the same sentence other than: I thought it was really cool when Barry Lyndon, played by that assbreath Ryan O'Neal, got shot in the leg by that little pussy boy that he tried to be nice to, providing the only bit of enjoyment I got out of that horrible, horrible movie.
Posted by: Captain Hate at January 30, 2010 08:14 AM (mnCO0)
Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at January 30, 2010 08:14 AM (9hSKh)
Posted by: The Outlaw in the Heavenly Hall at January 30, 2010 08:14 AM (zxrQh)
I also liked Heaven's Gate. But you have to see the full version, all 3+hrs of it.
Which I have on tape, courtesy of the Late, Great "Z" Channel.
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 08:16 AM (1kwr2)
Posted by: eman at January 30, 2010 08:18 AM (4tixt)
Posted by: Godzilla at January 30, 2010 08:20 AM (q3vJN)
Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at January 30, 2010 08:21 AM (DPM1U)
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 08:22 AM (1kwr2)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 30, 2010 08:22 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 30, 2010 08:23 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: Torgo at January 30, 2010 08:25 AM (DPM1U)
I loved you in Big Trouble in Little China.
Posted by: huerfanoMy favorite movie roll of all time
And Blazer, the Fish that Saved Pittsburgh was awesome. Bite your tongue.
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 08:25 AM (YxJoH)
Later, morons.
Posted by: Jane D'oh! at January 30, 2010 08:26 AM (UOM48)
Dr. T and the Women - More Robert Altman dreck. that guy didn't make any good moviesafter "MASH", and honestly that one was marginal.
Posted by: mongo78 at January 30, 2010 08:26 AM (I7da1)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 30, 2010 08:27 AM (AZGON)
Posted by: eman at January 30, 2010 08:30 AM (4tixt)
Posted by: Zimriel at January 30, 2010 08:32 AM (sVzRC)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 30, 2010 08:32 AM (AZGON)
Great movie. Back when Dan Aykroyd was funny.
Also great closet movie - Three O'Clock High
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 08:34 AM (YxJoH)
Posted by: Zimriel at January 30, 2010 08:36 AM (sVzRC)
Those movies are academy award winners compared to Manos The Hands of Fate. I still shudder when I think of that movie, and I saw it two years ago already expecting that it would suck, yet I was still nauseated.
Wait, someone watched Manos straight, and not through the MST3K filter? Good God, man! Do you value your sanity so little?!
Posted by: Cautiously Pessimistic at January 30, 2010 08:39 AM (pZEar)
Posted by: huerfano at January 30, 2010 08:40 AM (sf1Eo)
Posted by: fluffy around the middle at January 30, 2010 08:41 AM (4Kl5M)
Posted by: Attorney representing gerbils world wide at January 30, 2010 08:43 AM (4Kl5M)
677
But wasn'tt Olivia Newton John glorious looking in that movie?"
I may be showing my age here, but yeah. I was a big fan of Olivia Neutron Bomb's ass.
I'll second that notion 
Posted by: Crowsting at January 30, 2010 08:46 AM (qq1/1)
Posted by: Zimriel at January 30, 2010 08:50 AM (sVzRC)
Somebody should make a list of the 50 worst movies made by liberals.
Oh wait a minute . . . it's pretty much the same list.
I must confess that anything by the top several lib loudmouths doesn't get past the preview in this household. Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandan, Babs, George Clooney . . . yuck.
All I can see in these guys (and Julia Roberts, too) is their politics. So they're dead to me. Posted by: Jane D'oh!
My thoughts too. ..but, it's not so much their politics. It's the fact that they have to be so in-your-face and offensive about it.
They have no respect for this country or for the people who pay their paychecks. Every time one of them is speaking in public, I'm reminded of Thomas Sowell's book about intellectuals, and how they don't know anything practical about the real world.
Posted by: Jade Sea at January 30, 2010 09:01 AM (1unj7)
Posted by: ushie at January 30, 2010 09:02 AM (GkYyh)
Posted by: Triple Zero at January 30, 2010 09:04 AM (kjPnf)
Hey! I'm posting form a computer that takes less than 20 minutes to show a comment has posted. My usual set up involves having sled dogs run the post to civilization across artic ice floes. Maybe I could realize a lifelong (ok only 8 year long) dream and appear in the top 10 AoSHQ commenters this week?
WTR, PGiS and logprof post how many a week?
OK - nevermind.
Posted by: Jade Sea at January 30, 2010 09:05 AM (1unj7)
My usual set up involves having sled dogs run the post to civilization across artic ice floes.
Keep them doggies rolling, Rawhide!
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 09:20 AM (GkYyh)
No, that's not a joke.
Posted by: Zimriel at January 30, 2010 09:21 AM (sVzRC)
Keep them doggies rolling, Rawhide! Posted by: HH
Someday I'll post a picture of my real sleddog. He's absolutely gorgeous. Big blue eyes, thick red-brown and gray fur, a Siberian Husky who is the most beautiful of breed.
Every time I take hime for a walk, someone stops me to say, "Wow! That's the most beautiful dog I've ever seen." His face markings don't look 'angry' like many Siberians. He looks "happy with Egyptian eye makeup."
He follows me everywhere around our property, waits patiently for me and walks me to the next task.
I'm reading a book about the inner life of dogs, by researcher Alexandra Horowitz. It'scalled "Inside of a Dog; What Dogs See, Smell and Know." Great read. I highly recommend it.
Posted by: Jade Sea at January 30, 2010 09:34 AM (1unj7)
The English Patient: I worked at a movie theater when that came out, and I never saw a movie get more complaints than that one. It ended up getting Best Picture and a bunch of Oscars. Proof enough that the votes are bought up by studios.
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 30, 2010 09:45 AM (euuyg)
There was a movie from many years ago - something like Cops and Robbers - which is the only one I've ever walked out on. (Sorry, grammar police)
Posted by: Gerry at January 30, 2010 09:48 AM (dDxro)
Jade, neighbor of mine had a Husky/Wolf mix. Shy dog, but absolutely beutifal. Can't count the number of times I'd be minding the dog and have women approach me. "OMG, what a great looking dog!"
Funny thing is, when the dog got too much attention, it would try to hide it's head between my legs.
Talk about the 'ole Ostrich thing...
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 10:01 AM (GkYyh)
Too lazy to read all the above comments, but I do agree with this one:
The English Patient: I worked at a movie theater when that came out, and I never saw a movie get more complaints than that one. It ended up getting Best Picture and a bunch of Oscars. Proof enough that the votes are bought up by studios.
Hated that movie, hated the characters (except for the Indian bomb defuser dude and the nurse--natch). The other two self-obsessed loathesome pair, I wish they would have both died and early on. And to be subjected to that flat chested chick nekid in the tub--ugh! Other three movies that were way over rated (as far as I'm concerned), Elephant Man (my face was horribly disfigured because of the perpetual yawn it was engaged in), Out of Africa (another overlong, self-important epic with narcissistic, unappealing characters. Saw that with several other people and we all fell asleep at some point), and Fantasia (the only movie I've ever walked out of the theatre before it was over, not watchable!)
Posted by: runningrn at January 30, 2010 10:07 AM (CfmlF)
Posted by: Winston at January 30, 2010 10:08 AM (dM5xo)
Posted by: wherestherum at January 30, 2010 10:10 AM (gofDd)
Posted by: ushie at January 30, 2010 10:18 AM (GkYyh)
Posted by: George Orwell at January 30, 2010 10:22 AM (AZGON)
A giant freaking dinosaury thing that happens to be able to hide in Manhatten and lays its eggs in Madison Sqaure Garden.
Ever seen the movie "Q"?
Actually pretty good, if you get over the fact that it is a giant flying reptile that flies out of the sun and tears peoples heads off. Oh, and it has a nest and egg at the top of the Chrysler Building in NYC.
Well, it's good by my standards anyhow.
heh...
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 10:30 AM (GkYyh)
Another truly horrible kids film is "Happy Feet"
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at January 30, 2010 10:37 AM (IqfKc)
All I can say, and there has been much dis-agreement about this above, is that the only movie I cannot watch through to the end is "Plan Nine". I can't. I have tried and tried, but no go. And this is coming from someone who has sat thru "Pink Flamingos", "El Topo", and "Fortress Amerikkka". Not to mention others.
So therefore, just based on my own experience, I would have to say that "Plan NIne from Outer Space" is the worst film ever made.
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 10:41 AM (GkYyh)
2nd Worst--Battlefield Earth ( Scientology meets 1950s Japanese horror films )
3rd --Showgirls ( redeeming feature: Duh.... )
4th -- almost anything with Burt Reynolds or Elliot Gould
5th Worst --- any movies with a Nominous Negro, in re Spike Lee, et al
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at January 30, 2010 10:42 AM (JrRME)
Bela ( or the dentist replacement ) wrestling with the octopus was.....ACTING !!
Posted by: SantaRosaStan at January 30, 2010 10:49 AM (JrRME)
Those knees! What's inside of those knees?!?
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 30, 2010 12:42 PM (SHKl9)
Please be accurate: "hitting the thighmaster, Torgo?"
Posted by: Prince of Space at January 30, 2010 11:15 AM (dcKUM)
I'm proud, in a perverse way, to know several of the actors in "Manos"
One of my neighbors out here in El Paso, Bernie Rosenblum, played the make-out kid in the car. He told me the cute girl he was continually kissing had broken her leg on a skiing trip and they just decided to keep her in the car. He said he had no complaints.
The girls all came from a fashion school out here. Bernie told me that the kid who played Torgo was a pill freak, and that he killed himself after the movie bombed. It had a well- attended premiere at the Plaza theater downtown, and it was jaw-dropping. Can you imagine?
Posted by: TexasJew at January 30, 2010 11:25 AM (dcKUM)
"Actually pretty good, if you get over the fact that it is a giant flying reptile that flies out of the sun and tears peoples heads off."
Do we get to choose the people?
Oh, whatever the John Waters mess with Tracy Ullman is, that's unbearable--and I like John Waters. It's about people who try the 10 most perverted things...and just from reading this site, I can say John Waters has no idea of true perversion.
Posted by: ushie at January 30, 2010 11:40 AM (GkYyh)
I am. You do have the MST3K book, don't you?
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at January 30, 2010 12:12 PM (PMGbu)
Posted by: Mad Mallamutto at January 30, 2010 12:15 PM (r0hEv)
Posted by: John F'n Kerry, Of the Common Man (or was that the Commons Man?) at January 30, 2010 12:50 PM (CfmlF)
Ugh! "Rent" was by far the worst play I've ever seen. I just wanted to put my head in the oven when I got home from the theatre. The music was good, but the whole plot stank. That's why Team America making fun of it with their production of "Lease" was sooo funny!
Posted by: John F'n Kerry, Of the Common Man (or was that the Commons Man?) at January 30, 2010 01:01 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at January 30, 2010 01:03 PM (CfmlF)
And the original Andromeda Strain is right down the pipe everything it should have been. Easily the best hard-SF movie I can think of. You want bad, check out the Bravo remake from a year-or-so ago.
Honestly, I thought the remake was intended to be a big "F-U!" to Michael Crichton from some lefty Hollywood types, as if they didn't care if it was awful, so long as they made their political point.
"Popeye" - Robin Williams just can't do comedy
No, Popeye is proof that Robert Altman can't do comedy. Williams was fine for the part, Fieffer's script was fine, it was Altman and his verite, slow, ponderous, lifeless style that beat the fuck out of that film.
Yep. I one that one was a classic case of "wasted opportunity".
Posted by: Spiny Norman at January 30, 2010 01:06 PM (U9bUM)
For me he peaked in Topgun.
Posted by: runningrn at January 30, 2010 01:07 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: runningrn at January 30, 2010 01:13 PM (CfmlF)
Since we are talking about movie, Just a couple of things. My oldest sister worked for Lucas. And she is in the credits for "Return of the Jedi".
And as for myself, I somehow wandered onto a shooting location in LA at about 2:30 in the morning. And I got noticed.
Not in a good way.
I'll save that story for later.
Posted by: HH at January 30, 2010 01:32 PM (1kwr2)
2 pieces of shit i might add. John Wayne as Genghis Khan. It looked like he was dragging his ankles while riding a Manchurian pony. Howard Hughes was then making movies and doinkin starlets, besides manufacturing oil equipment and rippin off the taxpayer with defense contracts. The whole movie was a miscast.
Legends of the Fall. Terrible plot mixing in the Canadians with the hero. Red paint and feathers. The Canadian Army was the sole reason that Douglas Haig saved his job as commander in Chief. He used the Canuck Army as his not so secret weapon. The Great War was a meat grinder with absolutely no glory in it. Here's another- Paschendaele. A Paul Hogan turd made with government money. Angie Dickenson as a Vietnamese in Better Dead Than Red. It seems that I have a hobby watching excrement.
Posted by: chicocano at January 30, 2010 01:52 PM (2n5cq)
Posted by: Ted K. at January 30, 2010 02:24 PM (xiU00)
Posted by: pc at January 30, 2010 02:26 PM (crDIp)
Posted by: pc at January 30, 2010 02:28 PM (crDIp)
Posted by: Jay in Ames at January 30, 2010 02:59 PM (LJaVO)
Transformers 2 was awesome. I think it made the list because it slagged Obama.
Posted by: Christoph at January 30, 2010 03:19 PM (0fq7b)
Oh, and I can proudly state that I have never seen Titanic (wifey watched it while she was out of town way back then and calls me lucky to this day).
Posted by: Russtovich at January 30, 2010 03:45 PM (ZXGQD)
No surprise that John Wayne and many of the cast and crew died of cancer. While I am critical of the labor movement, there are certain fields being in a union or guild is important, film industry is one of them. Because many studios are run by narcissistic incompetents that make Pres. Obama look great in comparison.
Posted by: Gary B at January 30, 2010 03:50 PM (1gWfF)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 30, 2010 03:53 PM (YxJoH)
I've never seen Titanic, either, and never intend to. Besides Cameron's playing fast and loose with the facts of the tragedy, he deliberately slandered First Officer Murdoch (for which the studio head personally apologized to his family - while Cameron made a rather weaselly one on the DVD).
Posted by: Spiny Norman at January 30, 2010 04:25 PM (U9bUM)
Most of David Lynch's movies could appear on this list. I did like Elephant Man, but I wouldn't watch it a second time.
Posted by: Cincinnatus at January 30, 2010 04:58 PM (euuyg)
Posted by: Curth at January 30, 2010 06:03 PM (9HsSm)
Posted by: Godzilla at January 30, 2010 07:50 PM (q3vJN)
Posted by: Godzilla at January 30, 2010 07:52 PM (q3vJN)
but..
it has AC/DC.
It has trucks running over people.
and most importantly...
Stephen King gets told to go fuck himself by an ATM.
So it stays off the list.
How "Master of Disguise" doesn't make the list is beyond me.
Posted by: theoneandonlyfinn at January 30, 2010 10:25 PM (lV4Fs)
Posted by: moi at January 31, 2010 10:43 AM (7FgWm)
I would have put "6th Sense" pretty high up on the list. The painfully obvious 'twist' flagged about 2 minutes into the film, which doesn't even advance the story (kid who sees dead people also sees a therapist who is dead, because he sees dead people...? like wouldn't it be more interesting if he *didn't* see the therapist?), the completely non-scary ghost scenes, and the fricking gaping plot holes (it takes Bruce Willis what, a year to realise that his wife apparently doesn't know he's there? He went for months without trying to have a conversation with her? IN the entire time he was dead and didn't realise it, the only person he interacted with at all was Haley Joel Pumpkinhead or whatever his name is?)
And the fact that it's constantly cited as being such a 'clever' film and gets rave reviews when it's such a steaming dog turd all add up to irritate me as I've never been irritated by a movie before.
[/personal grudge against a movie that everyone else seems to like]
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