Ace of Spades HQ

May 28, 2010

A Very Special FiAF
— LauraW

Blossom Discovers Dad's Nightstand Drawer

OK, no.

That would have been an awesome episode, though. Sigh. Missed opportunity!

This video here has interesting qualities. It opens with the crisp, fresh aroma of the candid moment at the Doctor's office; a whiff of warm happy baby is carried on a poignant pÃ©tillance that brings a little water into the eye.

Thanks to Jazz at H2. He recommends you watch it more than once throughout the day and I couldn't agree more. Enjoy baby's first words:

Have a wonderful Friday, you sniffling goobers.

Posted by: LauraW at 06:19 AM | Comments (87)
Post contains 99 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I used to date a girl with a cochlear implant. She'd fall asleep on my lap watching TV and I'd toss refrigerator magnets at her head trying to get them to stick.

Notice the usage of the phrase "Used to date"?

Posted by: Robb Allen at May 28, 2010 06:22 AM (MPhK9)

2 Girls
Are
Yucky

Posted by: Gerbil Malodor at May 28, 2010 06:24 AM (dP6Ky)

3 Infants! More for ye, none for me!

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 06:25 AM (OlN4e)

4 on the subject of ears....Have you heard of ear gauging? That thing where one gradually makes a larger and larger hole in their ear lobe?

Do you think that anyone has every tried to sex that hole? And if so has either
a)There been a earlobe blowout, or
b)some one's dick got stuck in the hole?

Just some early morning musings for you.

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:26 AM (0Hn5w)

5 GET IN MAH BELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: EC at May 28, 2010 06:26 AM (mAhn3)

Do you think that anyone has every tried to sex that hole? And if so has either
a)There been a earlobe blowout, or
b)some one's dick got stuck in the hole?

Just some early morning musings for you.

My Dad tole me that when he was a kid, he had a Billy goat that would screw himself in the ear, so it's been done...

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 06:28 AM (OlN4e)

7 The Morons are especially sick today.

Posted by: Vic at May 28, 2010 06:28 AM (6taRI)

8 Watching as the baby hears for the first time was really amazing. There's a huge cognitive development leap taking place in only 50 seconds, from the baby turning his head at the sound, to the smile, to the mimicking of the facial expression, and finally attempting a similar sound.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 28, 2010 06:30 AM (RZ8pf)

9 My Dad tole me that when he was a kid, he had a Billy goat that would screw himself in the ear, so it's been done...

How do you sex your own ear? An no I don't count a Q-tip as ear masturbation.

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:30 AM (0Hn5w)

pÃ©tillance

???

This is commonly referred to as "not knowing your audience."

Posted by: wiserbud at May 28, 2010 06:31 AM (tWf3S)

How do you sex your own ear? An no I don't count a Q-tip as ear masturbation.

Well, I didn't see it, but apparrently he could twist his head around and underneath far enough to giterdone.

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 06:33 AM (OlN4e)

Now that's what I call a Rush baby!

Oh, come on, it's funny.

Posted by: Damn Skippy at May 28, 2010 06:34 AM (VDgKF)

13 Did the Billy Goat eventually go deaf from spooge impaction?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 28, 2010 06:35 AM (HaYO4)

Precious, laura.

Thank you.

Posted by: kevlarchick at May 28, 2010 06:37 AM (TNuqz)

15 Gerbil Malodor

What is your fucking problem? Go find another blog jackass.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at May 28, 2010 06:37 AM (JKe0g)

16 That baby didn't make me cry, no sir. That baby made me smile.

Posted by: huerfano at May 28, 2010 06:38 AM (Updet)

17 So Laura posts a touching video about a baby hearing for the first time, and the morons immediately start taking about getting fucked in the ear.

Yep. This must be AoSHQ.

Posted by: OregonMuse at May 28, 2010 06:38 AM (trjej)

18 Did the Billy Goat eventually go deaf from spooge impaction?

I imagine that as long as you can repeatedly sex it that the goats penis would bore a hole though the impacted spooge.

(I'm going to take this thread to strange new places)

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:39 AM (0Hn5w)

19 13 Did the Billy Goat eventually go deaf from spooge impaction?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 28, 2010 10:35 AM (HaYO4)

Believe it or not, I didn't press him for details.

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 06:41 AM (OlN4e)

20 So Laura posts a touching video about a baby hearing for the first time, and the morons immediately start taking about getting fucked in the ear.

Yep. This must be AoSHQ.

LOL.

I can't see the video, so my mind immediately went to one of the regular musings I have while walking in Philly.

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:41 AM (0Hn5w)

21 Awwww.... really nice. Here's something interesting, though. There is a very active movement amongst the hearing-impaired against cochlear implants. (Mr. Y-not encountered this group while he was doing fundraising for an audiology department.) Apparently, there is a "deaf pride" movement -- the implants are kind of the equivalent of how nose jobs and skin bleaching would be considered to the black pride movement. Weird, but true. I hope these sorts of amazing technological achievements in medicine are not stopped/slowed by Obamacare.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 06:42 AM (Kn9r7)

22 Fuck you hungover morons........now where's that Kleenex, must be coming down with a cold.

Posted by: GarandFan at May 28, 2010 06:42 AM (6mwMs)

23 Ugh, taylork, been watching too much Family Guy recently?

The video was cute, seeing the kid's reaction as he heard for the first time.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 28, 2010 06:42 AM (9hSKh)

24 I wonder what the militant deaf-advocates would say about this. Actually, I don't wonder at all.

Posted by: cranky-d at May 28, 2010 06:44 AM (Y59jj)

25 Apparently, there is a "deaf pride" movement

That's "tef twide" to you, Audio Girl.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 28, 2010 06:44 AM (5aa4z)

26 Breaking:
White House Used Bill Clinton to Ask Sestak to Drop Out of Racehttp://tinyurl.com/39hvmt9

Posted by: loppyd at May 28, 2010 06:45 AM (G1VMw)

27 #21 Apparently, there is a "deaf pride" movement -- the implants are kind of the equivalent of how nose jobs and skin bleaching would be considered to the black pride movement. Weird, but true. I hope these sorts of amazing technological achievements in medicine are not stopped/slowed by Obamacare.

That's sad, really.

There was an episode of Law and Order (Criminal Intent?) where this "deaf pride" movement impeded the investigation of a murder, but I didn't think that there would be an actual "deaf pride" IRL.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 28, 2010 06:45 AM (9hSKh)

I hope these sorts of amazing technological achievements in medicine are not stopped/slowed by Obamacare.

No worries, babys have a long life ahead of them. The old will go without hearing, but babies will get the implants......if the baby's parents voted the right way.....

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 06:45 AM (OlN4e)

29 Apparently, there is a "deaf pride" movement

Can you be a part of that movement if you've gone deaf from going to deep cleaning up ear spooge?

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:45 AM (0Hn5w)

30 gh, taylork, been watching too much Family Guy recently?

I stopped watching that show several years ago, when Seth MacFarlane thought he had something interesting to say about politics.

The Ear gauge sex thing is just part and parcel of a disturbed mind that hates hippies and hipsters.

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 06:47 AM (0Hn5w)

on the subject of ears....Have you heard of ear gauging? That thing where one gradually makes a larger and larger hole in their ear lobe?

Do you think that anyone has every tried to sex that hole?

For anything possessing a hole approximately the right size, it's pretty much a given that somewhere, at some point in history, some dude has tried to fuck it.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 28, 2010 06:49 AM (plsiE)

32 thank you heather.....i'll be sick for the rest of the day

Posted by: phoenixgirl at May 28, 2010 06:49 AM (ucxC/)

33 No worries, babys have a long life ahead of them. The old will go without hearing, but babies will get the implants...

I hate to be a downer, but it occurred to me that this beautiful baby would be aborted under Obamacare.

But what a sweet baby.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 06:51 AM (Kn9r7)

34 White House Used Bill Clinton to Ask Sestak to Drop Out of Race

That cocksucker will go to prison, yet, if he doesn't get shot for not paying a hooker first.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 28, 2010 06:56 AM (5aa4z)

35 I hate to be a downer, but it occurred to me that this beautiful baby would be aborted under Obamacare.

Yeah...I'm not sure how long it will take for the "right" to abort to become the "responsibility" to abort to become "abort or face criminal penalties" to become Chinese-style "report for your mandatory abortion or else", but I'm thinking about a generation.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 28, 2010 06:57 AM (mR7mk)

Love the vid, Laura..I'm not crying I swear. I'm smoking a pork shoulder and the smoke got in my eyes.

Anyone have a hanky?

I gotta be a downer, though. The bullshit story that Jug Ears is gointg to float regarding Sestak and the bribery crime is that Clinton simply had a casual conversation with Sestak.

Isn't it convenient that Jug Ears and Bubba had lunch yesterday? I'm sure it wasn't just to make sure they got their stories straight

Posted by: beedubya at May 28, 2010 06:58 AM (AnTyA)

37 Did someone say cock?

Posted by: Excitable Andi at May 28, 2010 06:59 AM (u+34p)

38 report for your mandatory abortion or else

The trees will be festooned with crow nibbled corpses, first.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 28, 2010 07:00 AM (5aa4z)

39 That is one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed. It's as close as this generation will ever come to seeing the sort of reaction those who were healed by Jesus when he was here... you know, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Posted by: Editor at May 28, 2010 07:00 AM (pUfK9)

40 "but unpaid, advisory position, people briefed on the matter said Friday." Huge fucking lie. Nobody trades a legitimate shot at a Senate seat for a goddam internship! You lie, Obama, you lie.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 28, 2010 07:00 AM (7EDH5)

I gotta be a downer, though. The bullshit story that Jug Ears is gointg to float regarding Sestak and the bribery crime is that Clinton simply had a casual conversation with Sestak.

Isn't it convenient that Jug Ears and Bubba had lunch yesterday? I'm sure it wasn't just to make sure they got their stories straight

Posted by: beedubya at May 28, 2010 10:58 AM (AnTyA)

Oh, yes, because everyone's going to believe 2 well documented liars.

Posted by: Editor at May 28, 2010 07:03 AM (pUfK9)

42 If Bill Clinton and Barack Obama say this is what happened, then that's what happened. Nothing to see here. Just a mountain out of a molehill.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 28, 2010 07:04 AM (5aa4z)

43 35-That also happened in 1930's Germany. And yes, I am afraid it may come to that here. On a different note, my daughter has significant hearing loss for as yet unknown reasons. (Many doctors, many tests, no idea.) I am so happy for that family to have a solution, and to see that precious baby smile when they speak. Why would anyone not want to hear, if the technology and the diagnoses allowed it? I would give anything to know how to help my child.

Posted by: mokimoki at May 28, 2010 07:04 AM (IrV7s)

44

I wonder what the militant deaf-advocates would say about this.

They can suck my cock until they choke. My kid can HEAR after being born completely deaf. Went from zero to caught up and then WAY surpassed age level language skills in less than a year.

"Gee, Billy was born without legs, but we shouldn't get him prostheses!"

FUCK THEM SIDEWAYS.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:05 AM (PpeVF)

45 But how do you really feel about it, hobgoblin?

(glad your kid can hear. Pretty sweet what they can do, these days.)

Posted by: Editor at May 28, 2010 07:06 AM (pUfK9)

46

Y-not, deafness is often not genetic. (it often is, too, so there's that) There's less need to worry about the deaf, especially since cochlear implants, than kids with Down, etc.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:07 AM (PpeVF)

47
Little dude hears better than I do on some days.

Mine wasn't so happy about getting turned on though. It's GOT to be an otherworldly experience for a baby.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:08 AM (PpeVF)

48

47 was to Editor. Yeah, it really is a miracle, Editor. In the Biblical sense.

Some kids don't hear much better with them, so it's not guaranteed. The structures have to be all there, with just the cochlear hairs being damaged.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:10 AM (PpeVF)

49 >>There's less need to worry about the deaf, especially since >>cochlear implants, than kids with Down, etc Oh, I know and agree. But the way this country is trending, I think I would have been aborted. Wait 'til they find the gene for conservatism, guys!

Posted by: Y-not has congenitally bent pinkies at May 28, 2010 07:10 AM (Kn9r7)

50 Nice video, but I don't want to see the look on the poor kid's face when he hears about Oliar for the first time.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 28, 2010 07:11 AM (kjXuP)

51 Is anybody else experiencing weird problems with the text editor this morning? I keep randomly losing the formatting bar.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 07:11 AM (Kn9r7)

52 Yes, medicine has made huge strides in the past 50 years. Making life better for millions of people. Too bad all that shit will go the way of the Dodo with Zerocare. Unless we can ditch that turd before it ruins the system.

Posted by: maddogg at May 28, 2010 07:12 AM (OlN4e)

53

he hears about Oliar for the first time

dare I google?

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:13 AM (PpeVF)

54 I had a friend in High School who had to use hearing aids. Sometimes when I would talk to him, I slowly lower the volume of my voice. As soon as he would turn the aids up, I'd yell. Used to piss him off.

Posted by: TC at May 28, 2010 07:13 AM (4XzsU)

55 There is a very active movement amongst the hearing-impaired against cochlear implants. (Mr. Y-not encountered this group while he was doing fundraising for an audiology department.) Apparently, there is a "deaf pride" movement -- the implants are kind of the equivalent of how nose jobs and skin bleaching would be considered to the black pride movement.

Oh yes. Identity politics is worse in the "deaf community" than just about any other group I've ever run across. (My sister is deaf.)

Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 28, 2010 07:15 AM (z4es9)

56 I don't know how a perfectly good ear sex thread got hijacked into talking about medical miracles and infants, but it did. And that makes me sad.

Posted by: taylork at May 28, 2010 07:16 AM (0Hn5w)

57 Posted by: TC at May 28, 2010 11:13 AM
-----
Looking forward to meeting you someday!

Posted by: Satan at May 28, 2010 07:16 AM (Kn9r7)

58 What is up with that deaf-pride shit? Are they worried that with technology available to remove their disability, they wouldn't have an excuse anymore?

Posted by: grognard at May 28, 2010 07:20 AM (0cknS)

59 As soon as he would turn the aids up, I'd yell. Used to piss him off.

Posted by: TC at May 28, 2010 11:13 AM (4XzsU)

Any friends since then?

Just curious not offrin'.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 28, 2010 07:20 AM (kjXuP)

They can suck my cock until they choke. My kid can HEAR after being born completely deaf. Went from zero to caught up and then WAY surpassed age level language skills in less than a year.

Amazing; glad to hear that it worked out so well. I had no idea they worked that well; for some reason I was under the impression that they didn't.

I can't even comprehend how someone would want to deny your kid the ability to hear simply so they themselves have more deaf people to hang out with. Seems incredibly selfish and cruel to me.

Posted by: Hollowpoint at May 28, 2010 07:21 AM (plsiE)

61

As soon as he would turn the aids up, I'd yell. Used to piss him off.
Posted by: TC at May 28, 2010 11:13 AM (4XzsU)

Frankly I LOL'd

Hard.

That was funny.

That's also why you teach your kid to hit hard, and correctly, at a young age.

Posted by: s'moron at May 28, 2010 07:22 AM (PpeVF)

62 Posted by: Farmer Joe at May 28, 2010 11:15 AM

What does she think about the movement?

On the one hand, I kind of understand how it arose. Deafness is such challenging disability, because it's "invisible," so I imagine that deaf people become particularly bonded to their "community." They have their own language, even though they look like everyone else.

But I still think it's sad when someone wraps themselves up in one feature - whether it be their skin color, gender, or disability - to such an extent that they reject the majority culture to their own detriment.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 07:25 AM (Kn9r7)

63

Really, HP, if any fucker had the temerity to call me out on that shit, if I didn't pound their face to pulp, would be to ask if they were born without legs if they'd scoot around on their ass out of principle.

No doubt he's lucky (and pretty damn smart, IMHO), but they have worked unbelievably well.

Posted by: hobgboblin at May 28, 2010 07:25 AM (PpeVF)

64 55-How can hearing be equated with cosmetic surgery? I suppose a bimbo/himbo could argue that being more attractive is a quality of life issue, but that's pretty thin. Whereas, hearing vastly improves one's ability to function in society. Ugh. I am tired of militant anybodies telling the rest of the world how they SHOULD live. Allow people to have the choice, and then live with the consequences, good or bad. You'd probably find a few more conservatives coming out of the bunch.

Posted by: mokimoki at May 28, 2010 07:26 AM (IrV7s)

65 64 55-How can hearing be equated with cosmetic surgery?

I don't know, but it seems to be a real, and vocal, movement. I'll have to ask Mr. Y-not if he ever got an explanation.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 07:28 AM (Kn9r7)

66

the deaf don't consider it "cosmetic" moki, they consider it even worse, INAUTHENTIC.

Fuck Rousseau sideways, too.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:28 AM (PpeVF)

67

oh, before I go, I wanted to add that some deafpride assholes go so far as to say cochlear implants are GENOCIDE on the deaf.

unfuckingbelievable.

Posted by: hobgoblin at May 28, 2010 07:30 AM (PpeVF)

68 67-you are kidding me. The docs said implants wouldn't help our daughter, but then, they don't know why she lost her hearing. Cripes, I would have had the implants done in a heartbeat, if it would have helped her. And screw that genocide crap. The people are living-they aren't being killed.

Posted by: mokimoki at May 28, 2010 07:35 AM (IrV7s)

I studied deaf families in college as part of human biology class and what really amazed me was that deaf parents sometimes reject and fail to bond with their children that can hear. If I remember correctly, the ultimate family for the deaf pride movement is to be "deaf of deaf" meaning a deaf child of deaf parents.

It has been a long time, but I think I remember how some more extreme advocates were even toying with the idea of aborting "normal" babies in favor or deaf ones.

Posted by: susanita at May 28, 2010 07:38 AM (eRsMQ)

70 If you peruse the comments under the YouTube link, you will find a troll calling himself knucklez who defines himself as "American Taliban". He uses this link to take a huge dump on the thread. Nice. Give me five minutes and a pair of pliers with that douche.

Posted by: rawmuse at May 28, 2010 07:40 AM (+JrzC)

71 69-please tell me you are joking about aborting normal babies. 70-cut/jib/newsletter

Posted by: mokimoki at May 28, 2010 07:53 AM (IrV7s)

I am remembering a class I took 15 years ago, so I could be wrong. But I remember the whole thing was shocking to me. Having a hearing child was very sad to some of these people.

Posted by: susanita at May 28, 2010 08:02 AM (slf9T)

69 There was a washpost article years ago where 2 deaf lesbians wanted a completely deaf baby. They went to a great deal of trouble and expense to find the right sperm donor with the correct deaf genes paired with the genetically deaf lesbian of the pair to ENSURE the baby would be deaf. The celebrated when it was born stone cold deaf.

Sick sick sick

Posted by: dagny at May 28, 2010 08:04 AM (EA3jP)

62 "Reject to their own detriment" -- great phrase for the situation.

But back to topic: AWWWW....AWWWW...AWWWW

This may sound really weird, and it probably is a sign of insanity, but I miss having a little baby around. I don't know what the hell is up with that, but I do.

Posted by: unknown jane at May 28, 2010 08:10 AM (5/yRG)

75 @74 Yeah, that baby has my ovaries doing back-flips. So cute.

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 08:13 AM (Kn9r7)

76 75 LOL...what is up with that? (by the way, you don't know how happy this makes me -- that somebody else shares my baby affliction; was beginning to believe my husband was right about the insanity)

Posted by: unknown jane at May 28, 2010 08:16 AM (5/yRG)

77 @76
Well, it must be hard-wired. I'm 47, married, but no kids (for various reasons). But if you put me near a baby or baby clothes or baby items, I always get the maternal thing going.

_{Heads off to kitchen to get champagne chilled for Mr. Y-not...}

Posted by: Y-not at May 28, 2010 08:23 AM (Kn9r7)

78 Am I the only one that read the subhead and was expecting a video where Mayim Bialyk was introduced to her first buttplug?

Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at May 28, 2010 08:24 AM (BZ2Bm)

Great video! Thanks for sharing. That helped to make my weekend.

Posted by: Swede at May 28, 2010 08:29 AM (KlsEL)

80 77 I'm 43, have 5 kids (been preggers 7 times, but 2 didn't make it...) and you would think I'd be immune to the charms of teh bambinos. Nope, and didn't realize it until after I'd gotten myself fixed.

Posted by: unknown jane at May 28, 2010 08:33 AM (5/yRG)

81 57 Posted by: TC at May 28, 2010 11:13 AM
-----
Looking forward to meeting you someday!

Posted by: Satan at May 28, 2010 11:16 AM (Kn9r7)

Ahhh... the banality of evil.

Posted by: TBinSTL at May 28, 2010 08:57 AM (5FSA+)

82 Guess I am glad to be a sniffling goober then, because that was priceless AND it gave me goosebumps.

Posted by: DefendUSA at May 28, 2010 09:52 AM (yIwYC)

83 His mom is cute. I wouldn't mind helping little Jonathon get himself a younger sibling IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at May 28, 2010 10:00 AM (ZESU0)

84 Awwww.... really nice. Here's something interesting, though. There is a very active movement amongst the hearing-impaired against cochlear implants. Actually that's bullshit. The hearing-impaired are those people who uses technology to bridge the gap whereas deaf/hard of hearing are those morons who are opposed to the idea of cochlear implants. I'm hearing-impaired myself and I have a cochlear implant myself. However it didn't work so well for me since I got it when I was 18 years old and it was also bad timing since I just got into college.

Posted by: Kaitian at May 28, 2010 11:29 AM (QQr+t)

85 I was reading a criminal case, Henry Ivan Cogswell, about the hearing impaired or is it deaf? It seems it is a very insular community and they fuck like bunnies.

Posted by: moi at May 28, 2010 12:04 PM (Ez4Ql)

86 It's Deaf or Hard of Hearing. There's a huge legal term between the two categories. Deaf / Hard of Hearing are those who don't rely on sound to communicate (mostly with their own group through usage of sign language) whereas hearing-impaired rely on technology to bridge the gap in order to communicate with EVERYONE in general. And yes it's true that the deaf community fucks like bunnies for a couple good reasons. Sign Language is an expressive language which most people wouldn't say such things out loud. Second is the only friends that they know are those people they can associate with (other deaf people) so their "fucking" order is with those people similar to "Friends with benefits". There are people who stick to the dictionary term but I always keep lecturing people on what the two categories means and it's fucking annoying.

Posted by: Kaitian at May 28, 2010 01:26 PM (QQr+t)

87 I do love the sight of a smiling baby. Sniff, sniff.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 28, 2010 03:06 PM (YVlF6)

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