1 "Why is it that the "normal" dudes have to choke the chicken while the weird dudes get to stroke the cat?"

If you're Andy Levy, you get to do both.

2 Hot chicks with douchebags.  It truly is the conundrum of our time.

3

Chick advice from a couple queers.  America is dying.

4 @3 - Hey, I'm right here!

5

This is bullshit.

Maybe if you're 22 this theory applies. Otherwise: bunk.

Think 40 year old glam rock or punks (that aren't famous) are getting laid at higher rates? Nope.

Carolla is living in Hollyweird so his theory may make sense. Not for middle America.

6 Meh.  The problem isn't that normal guys can't get laid, it's that the hot, slutty chicks like douche-y guys.  Normal guys may not have the hotties falling all over them, but then same for the normal girls.  If you're a normal guy & want to hook up, find a normal girl.  If you want a smoking hot bimbo, find some stupid schtick like Carolla is talking about. 

It's a cliche (for a reason), but if you don't want to change and want someone to like you the way you are, you have to be willing to reciprocate.  Don't expect Megan-Fox-looks to go along with emotional and intellectual depth.

7 I will take a nice guy in the "boring" Levis and t-shirt every time. "Decent" is so fucking underrated, it's ridiculous. But then again, I'm not a 20-something "hot chick". I'm old enough to know better.

8 I've said for a while that if the hot chicks want to lessen their chances for disasterous divorces down the line, marry into my level. That is, hot wealthy chicks or even hot not-so-wealthy chicks should pick a guy in the middle class - a decent looking but not gorgeous man with decent money. Why? Because a decent-looking man who's not famous will never ever EVER cheat on a hot wealthy famous chick. He'll worship the ground she walks on because NO ONE at his level will get a girl like her and he never will again. A decent looking semi-wealthy man will MOST LIKELY not cheat on a smoking hot semi-wealthy chick either because he's not entirely stupid. But that doesn't always work.
In short, I say to both sides: If you're really wealthy and really hot, don't marry other really wealthy really hot people. They'll just cheat on you with other really hot really wealthy people. Marry down in the wealth class and slightly down in the hot class. You'll probably never live to regret it.
Thoughts?

9 Don't expect Megan-Fox-looks to go along with emotional and intellectual depth.

Heh heh.  They certainly don't in Megan Fox.

10

Amen, AngelEM.

For the love of Pete, just come up to us and say "hi" with three seconds of eye contact. Why is this so hard??

11 Regardless of whether this clip suits your tastes, I would recommend downlowding the Adam Carolla podcast regularly. Much better interviews than you get with most media. The Mike Rowe episode would be a good place to start if you've never heard his show before. Subscribe at his website adamcarolla.com or through Itunes.

While he has some faults at least he is not a typical Hwood liberal candyass.

Get it on!

12 Megan Fox is a piece of Shiite.  And I personally don't think she's all that hot.

13 Don't expect Megan-Fox-looks to go along with emotional and intellectual depth.

Katharine Ham and Michelle Malkin would like to have a word with you.

14 Now Katherine Ham is hot!  (So is Michelle for that matter.)

15 @8 B+

Thoughts?

You can pursue.  You can be pursued.

When the pursuit part was over, I married for love and for friendship, and I am happy.

16 #10  For the love of Pete, just come up to us and say "hi" with three seconds of eye contact. Why is this so hard??

a) Eye contact might break down our will and allow you to extract our blood with less difficulty.

b) Skinemax pron (and "other" pron) is widely available and doesn't judge us for our obsession with gaseous bodily functions, guns, and, naturally, pron.

17 Because a decent-looking man who's not famous will never ever EVER cheat on a hot wealthy famous chick.

I dunno.  I think that years of marriage and hitting middle age does things to men (and women) that makes many of them act irrationally.  Guys going through mid-life crises (and women going through their own version of that) have a tendency to (1) become dissatisfied with the status quo and (2) look outside their marriages for fulfillment.  I think that even holds true if the spouse is "hot," rich or whatever else.  It's the change they want. 

18 #8, that'd work if the hot wealthy people were marrying for family rather than for status. I suspect with the hollywood set, that's a minority.

19

For the vast majority of females, Eligible Bachelor means someone who earns more than they do, regardless of what the female earns.

Always will. Move on.

If you really, really want a young hottie, renting is cheaper than buying.

If you have to buy a trophy wife, you have to keep buying her to keep her.

20 That's why I'm going to marry an ugly chick.

21 There is a difference between hot (or hawt) and attractive/very attractive.  No one in the political realm, pundits or politicians, can be considered "hot." 

Typically young "hot" chicks will have skated by on looks so they are usually not too smart, or they will carry a lot of emotional baggage for becoming hot (and an object of sexual attention/affection/abuse) at a young age.  The reason hot chicks often go with teh douchiest of bags is a combination of low self assuredness/revenge against daddy/need for someone "confident"

It's not rocket science, and sadly, for the most part, the girls tend to eventually become highly effective spirochete delivery systems.

22 Absolutely stupid advice, but, tangentially, he was on to something.

The guys that get laid choose a direction.

Whether it's a look, or a life, women like a man who knows where he's going.

23 I hear Adam has a hairy pussy.

24 @ #10 Lacy--

Right on sista.  If more men would just get over their fear of saying hello to a girl, we would have a lot less men out there stoking and choking the chicken.

25 Based on all the porn I watch, girls like pizza delivery boys and handymen. So Adam is off base here.

26 @25

Bwahaha!

27 It's the change they want.

And look at all the problems we have as a country because of it!

28

Dr. Spank - And gardeners.  Oh, the gardeners!

29 And look at all the problems we have as a country because of it!

Yup. 

Maybe we'll be lucky and this horrendous 'fling' will end in a couple of years. 

30 teh funny

31 @25:

Don't forget the guys in UPS uniforms....(purrrr).

32 25 Based on all the porn I watch, girls like pizza delivery boys and handymen. So Adam is off base here.

Or sleazy executives, lawyers, or pool-boys.

33 I'd dated nice guys and didn't like that they couldn't take charge and always let me walk all over them. I've dated assholes who didn't treat me well and I walked away from them after the first date or the second if it didn't show up until later. I'd like to find a happy medium. Someone who's a decent guy but doesn't mind being a little badass once in awhile.

Hello, Navy Seals!

34 Corolla only get's it half right.
I don't care how many Paris Hilton's there are most girls don't want to be thought of as sluts, by other women. Every relationship, no matter how short, is supposed to be potentially the one. In reality they are just horny and don't want a commitment any more than guys do. How do you solve that problem? Date assholes so you have a built in excuse for a breakup. Bonus, it's always his fault and it leaves them open for the big payday. It's planned obsolesnce in dating.

And yes this all goes away by the time they hit their mid-late 20s. Of course by by then theyv'e screwed ever disease laden fuck on the Eastern Seaboard and they have to do vagina excercises just to feel anything but that's life.

35 Just cut their cable feed...that's how I meet the ladies!

36

"If you're really wealthy and really hot, don't marry other really wealthy really hot people."

Here's the problem; if you're a guy and you do that, you look like you got took by the gold-digger.  On the other hand, you *can* get away with marrying the nanny provided she stays home and takes care of the kids from then on.  She'd better be okay with that from the start, or else you get into a Tiger Woods situation.  I suppose there's always the old European Nobility solution - marry a safe, homely girl of good family and make her stay home and have babies while you travel the continent and sleep with whoever you choose.  It worked for them.  

For a woman - if you marry down you just look like you're taking on a boy toy.  You won't be happy because you'll never respect a schlub who is way beneath you, and he'll never be happy because he knows he's on your payroll and you could dump him in a new york minute.   Sex quits being fun when she *always* has to be on top. 

And for both - if you don't marry on your level, everyone will think  you're slummin'.  A thousand eyes will always say "you coulda done better".

Btw - ever notice how it's way cool for a black guy to marry a white chick, but you really don't ever see a white guy doing the reverse?   Just saying.

now the mexicans don't care, they'll sleep with anybody.

37 Why does everybody always say  Mary Katherine Ham is hot? Her mouth is so wide she could swallow a football. And not in a good way.

38

Carolla has a point, but the problem with offering these pictures as examples is that getting your picture taken with a hot chick is not the same as banging one.

Here's what I figured out far too late in life --  the key to getting laid for a guy is confidence. If you don't have it, fake it. Women smell fear and desperation the way a shark smells blood in the water.

The only difference is that they're repulsed by it.

If you're interested in picking up women, at no time should your give-a-shit meter ever move above 10% during the pursuit phase. You show them that you're interested, but that you're interested in other women as well.

Why?

Because women want what they can't have. Treating them like they're special when you're still working on that first date (or sex) is a mistake. You have to make sure that they understand that they're NOT special and if they turn down your offer, no sweat, because you won't be asking again. And then follow through. Volume is the key.

The time to make sure a woman knows she's special is when you're already in a commited relationship. Before that, they're just one fish among many.

 

 

39

25 Based on all the porn I watch, girls like pizza delivery boys and handymen. So Adam is off base here.

Those guys got nothin' on us.

40 Who could begrudge the Navy Seal a little love?

41 Posted by: I Am Nobody Jack at January 06, 2010 06:45 PM (IhHdM)

How YOU doin'?

42

Watched Transformers II the other day. First movie I've seen with Megan Fox. Damn, that porn pout of hers sure was distracting. I kept expecting her to start talking dirty or begin moaning, or do some tootsie roll tricks.

43 Someone who's a decent guy but doesn't mind being a little badass having several pints of their blood extracted once in awhile.

FIFY, Rum.

44

Someone who's a decent guy but doesn't mind being a little badass once in awhile.

How you doin? _{Now go make me a cookie!}

45 Heh!  I always liked Adam Corolla.  I use to listen to him and that prissy Dr. Drew a long while back on a show that was called "Nightlines" I think.  He was always entertaining and always saying politically incorrect things like we need to bomb the water supplies of African nations with birth control. 

46 Katharine Ham and Michelle Malkin would like to have a word with you.

Several of the conservative blogger ladies are smoking hot.  Rumor has it MKH is even somehow single...

47 33 This is one conservative dude that never had any trouble getting laid. Something about the brand new shiny car, the boat, the summer home, the fancy apartment, the paintings on the wall, all seemed to bring out the nesting instinct in my female guests.

F()ck the libs and their advice to bottom-feeders.

Posted by: I Am Nobody Jack at January 06, 2010 06:45 PM (IhHdM)

You obviously need to pay more taxes. Expect to be contacted in the near future.

48 Posted by: Warden at January 06, 2010 06:47 PM (QoR4a)

Where were you when I was 18?

49 Kratos, stop scaring off my food suitors!

50

Why does everybody always say  Mary Katherine Ham is hot? Her mouth is so wide she could swallow a football. And not in a good way.

And it's deep, too!!!

51 Eww!  That was an old stinky sock!

52
Yeah, marrying a douchebag has worked out so well for Elin Woods.

Wait....($300 million?!?) 

53 The world confuses arrogance with confidence. Guys with over the top style are usually arrogant very few are confident. On the flip side many "nice" guys think confidence is arrogance. I learned the hard way myself. Just be confident, treat her right and if she crosses you let her know and stand your ground. Looks be damned. Where I live I've seen dudes who aren't outlandish in the least with women that make J-Lo and Jessica Biel look like buck tooth butterflies. It's confidence. Love yourself and others will too. Now go make me a turkey pot pie, b$tch!!! I jest.

54 Never thought MKH or Malkin were hot. PAB, yes.

55 I don't know who Adam Carolla is, but he summed it up pretty well I'd say.

56 There is some truth to Carolla's rant.  Too many womon give nookie to the douches of the world and end up encouraging the proliferation of more douches.  Some women never learn but most finally get it and settle down with a decent guy or end up raising a kid or two by themselves.  The nice guys get gobbled up early in life and tend to stay married so the pickens get slimmer and slimmer for the ladies looking for a decent man.  Nobody said life is fair but ladies you have the nookie, you have the power.  As a group you need to hold men to a higher standard.  If you ask for little that's what you'll get.   

57

Why does everybody always say  Mary Katherine Ham is hot? Her mouth is so wide she could swallow a football. And not in a good way.

She's hot for a conservative pundit. Or any kind of pundit.

Seriously, the types -- and ages -- of chicks that do politically commentary are one thing, whereas women hit their sexual peak as directly measured by hormone levels around 22.

And most 22 year old women are too busy, uh, studying, or experimenting with G-spot reaching dildos, or whatever.

58 Think 40 year old glam rock or punks (that aren't famous) are getting laid at higher rates?

I know some of those guys. The answer is yes, if they're not super-fat. Being a musician hugely increases your odds of getting on the good side of the "2% of men are fucking all the women, especially yours" rule, even if you're not famous.

You do not want to know what famous men's lives are like. You'd kill yourself—and every woman you can take to hell with you.

59 A buddy's wife almost left him because, though he's tall, good looking, ect, ect, he's a push over.  I think she has no respect for him.

60 Confidence is sexy. Arrogance is most definitely not.

61

34. Rum: Hello, Navy Seals!

Amen sister.  Make mine a Recon Marine.

62 @40

So that's why Mr. Y-not won't let us get a pool! 

63
Many years ago I was considered a "hottie" and I most definitely didn't marry a douchebag.  As a matter of fact, many hearts broke when Mr. D'oh married moi.

However, I certainly dated my share of empty-headed "hawt" men.  It took me a while to grow up.  Glad as hell I finally did.

64 Where were you when I was 18?

Posted by: GregInSeattle at January 06, 2010 06:51 PM (B5cM9)

I could have used my current self when I was 18, too. I made every mistake in the book --  including the worst mistake a man can make - the chickenshit friend/nice guy route.

If there's one thing I wish I could teach to young men everywhere it's that this shit will get you kicked in the balls almost every time.

You like a girl? Then for God's sake, MAN UP and let her know what you want. You want a date? Ask her on a date. Use the word date. Don't do some fakey-group-friend thing.

You want some cheap sex? Tell her. Sometimes they say yes. Or you might get scowled at, slapped, or called names, but at least you won't be the coward sitting there sullenly while you moan about how unfair it is that girls don't like "nice guys."

Fuck that and fuck you. You want the same thing those douchebags out there want. Take responsibility and stop crying about how unfair life is.

Women want confident men. Deal.

 

 

65 I'm still considered a hottie.  Is that confident or arrogant??  : )

66
Oh, and the broken hearts were over Mr. D'oh.  He had some scary stalkerish girlfriends.

67 Hello, Navy Seals!


Come on down to Coronado, you fine piece of womanhood.  I'm sure we could work out something mutually beneficial over a beer... 

68

#Greg, you're confident.

69 Good gawd, Warden, are you from Seattle?  I was considered a he-man Alpha simply due to the fact I had the balls to ask women out once in awhile.  Growing up, it was all big group of friends crap.  My buddies were constantly let down.

70 You want a date? Ask her on a date. Use the word date.

Yes! Please, please tell ALL men this! I have been on so many dates and not realized they were dates because the men taking me out never made that clear. Every time I think it's just a nice meal between friends, they spring on me it's a date. Um, no. You have to tell me in advance.

71 I second the recommendation of the Adam Carolla podcast. Sometimes I start laughing hysterically on the train or at work and people think I'm crazy.

Also, I couldn't agree more with Warden. I never had any success with women until I stopped giving a damn. Once I stopped caring, dating/sleeping around was (and still is) easy. Plus there's a certain momentum to it. The last woman gives you the confidence that the next one finds attractive.

72

Is that confident or arrogant?? 

Neither, it's gay.

73 Yeah, this is dumbshit advice. It only makes sense in a few abnormal places like Hollywood. It's bad advice even for just a typical big city, and horrible advice for anywhere else.

Getting laid follows the Woody Allen rule, 90% of success is showing up.  When I was single I lived in college towns and the inner burbs of big cities. I took classes at the local college and took up hobbies like swing dancing. I was guaranteed to meet at least one interesting, attractive, single girl a week. Getting dates was pretty easy. And since I'm a actually a fairly traditional guy, I ended up turning down offers of easy sex several times. (I find offers of first-date sex to be pretty revolting, and was amazed how many women out there offer themselves up so easily.)

Be a normal guy. Just be a normal guy where the women are. Being a normal guy in your home alone doesn't help. Being a normal guy at a social event who takes the initiative to ask women out does.

The problem with the lonely "normal" guys is not that they are normal. It's that they are shy and lack initiative.

Also, remember, for the 50% of dudes on the left half of the bell curve, normal is a step up.

74 If you're saying that Michelle Malkin is not hot, then I'm not hot, 'cause I'm clearly not as hot as she is!  Waaaaaaahhh!

75 garrett, I'll have to take Jane's word over yours.

76 Btw, when I was in college, I was not one of those girls who bed hopped. I hardly ever dated, mostly because none of the guys were that interesting and most were just frat boys or had the frat boy mentality. If you want to get in my pants, I better see you on one knee with a ring in you hand.

77 40 25 Based on all the porn I watch, girls like pizza delivery boys and handymen. So Adam is off base here.

Those guys got nothin' on us.

Posted by: The International Brotherhood of Pool Cleaners

-----------------

You douchetards have been bogarting the cooch for waaaay too long.  We're coming back in a big way in 2010. 

 

78

76

You're the one calling a man 'hottie'. 

Just sayin'...

79 If you want to get in my pants, I better see you on one knee with a ring in you hand.

What kind of ring are we talkin' here?

80
You ever hear Laura Ingraham say tattoo?

It's so cute. She says it like tuh-tooo.

81

GregInSeattle,

I acted just like those friends of yours before I finally figured things out.

I'm not proud of it, but it's true.

And I know how cowardly and dishonest that tactic is. You're just being a pussy when you pull that number. But more importantly, it dramatically reduces your odds of accomplishing anything.

When I asked my now wife out on our first date, the phone conversation went like this.

Warden: Do you have plans tomorrow?

Future Wardenette: No.

Warden: Then I'm taking you to dinner.

Future Wardenette: Are you asking me or telling me?

Warden: I'm telling you.

Future Wardenette: *giggle* Ok.

Does that attitude work everytime? No. But it sure works more often than trying to sneak your way into a woman's pants by being her buddy.

 

82 If you want to get in my pants, I better see you on one knee with a an onion ring in you hand.
fify

83 I could have used my current self when I was 18, too. I made every mistake in the book --  including the worst mistake a man can make - the chickenshit friend/nice guy route.  (Warden)

--yeah, that pretty much sums up my life through college and beyond.

Time to roll and, uh, late Happy New Year to all (these are my first 2010 posts)!

84 I will admit in my younger days, when I was a bullshit artist myself, I loved me some bad boys. Always older guys. I was 13 and my first BF was 19 and in college. Now my hubby is 20 yrs older than me. This works pretty well. Other than a lack of a meaningful sex life.

85 hey prof.  Your absence has been noted several times.  Good to see to see you back!

86 If you want to get in my pants, I better see you on one knee with a ring in you hand.

How YOU doin'? 

87 Andy, dude, enough with the jew talk, time to get naked.

88 Not that I was all that bold or successful myself, but would try, and sometimes scored a hot girlfriend... or just a plain girlfriend.

89 What kind of ring are we talkin' here?

I expect to see an iconic blue box with white ribbon and Tiffany & Co. inscribed inside. That rock had better be big and shiny.

Warden, your wife is a lucky lady. That kind of tactic would have worked on me, too.

90

The hottest chicks are overrated -- 'Girl Next Door' is the best. The best looking women are the one who don't know how beautiful they are.

C'mon! It's the Ginger vs. Mary Ann Argument!

91 #19: If you really, really want a young hottie, renting is cheaper than buying.

Rodent, you have truly captured the heart of the AOS lifestyle.  Just toss in some hobo huntin', and yer golden.

92
Umm, you're all full of shit. Yeah, it is all about confidence, but being 'confident' doesn't make you a chick-magnet.

First of all, you can't make a chick like you. She either likes you right away or she doesn't. Why is this important? Because it directly ties into confidence. Once a dude knows or suspects a chick is digging him, he has confidence (sorta like beer muscles), and now has license to use his confidence and approach to arrange some intimacy*.

_{*cue Barry White}

93 "The hottest chicks are overrated..."

You Nash equilibrium theorist you.

94 I stroke that cat

95 Warden, your wife is a lucky lady. That kind of tactic would have worked on me, too.

Posted by: wherestherum at January 06, 2010 07:14 PM (gofDd)

Honestly, I think the key is the delivery. I said it more in a roguish way than an I'm-in-charge way.

 

 

96

OT but funny. http://tinyurl.com/ycjm5wv

 

97 #74  The problem with the lonely "normal" guys is not that they are normal. It's that they are shy and lack initiative.

No, no, it's just that we "normal guys" don't want our blood forcibly removed.  And we think a reciprocal "hi" is a magic spell designed to incapacitate us and sap us of all our precious bodily fluids.

98

91.  I expect to see an iconic blue box with white ribbon and Tiffany & Co. inscribed inside. That rock had better be big and shiny.

Careful on that one. They can go the Vince Neil, mega douche move, and put a ginormous cubic zirconium in the authentic tiffany box.

 

99 Oh, and on the musician thing. It's not any weird schtick (glam, punk, etc) of the musician look that chicks dig. It's that you are on stage in a high-status position. A lot of musicians had to go for some odd look to stand out so they could get on that stage in the first place. Women are attracted to high-status males, the same way men are attracted to young females, and at the same irrational, non-conscious way. They can't explain why they find the guy on the stage so fascinating, they just do. Men seek nubility, women nobility.

Musicians get laid a lot because a) they are high status (literally they stand on a stage above the cheering peons) and b) they constantly meet new women. Same thing happens to athletes. And politicians. If the goal is to just maximize the # of conquests then you want a socially visible, high-status position in society and steady stream of new women to meet and impress.

A lot of male behavior can be explained as just a vicious intra-male competition for those high-status positions.

100

Umm, you're all full of shit. Yeah, it is all about confidence, but being 'confident' doesn't make you a chick-magnet.

Who said it did?

1) Play no more than a couple levels above your league.

2) Volume.

 

 

101 #100  Careful on that one. They can go the Vince Neil, mega douche move, and put a ginormous cubic zirconium in the authentic tiffany box.

Or replace the ginormous cubic zirconium with a large white clove of garlic and make the ring silver.

102
I offer you morons Exhibit A hotties versus douchebags:

Charlie Sheen (le douche) + (whateverthehellhernameishottie)

Now she wants to forgive him for holding a knife to her throat.  Twit.

103 So that's why I'm a loser?  Huh.

104 Jane D'oh! @ 104 That just proves the theory up there about "hot chicks" who date these types having self-esteem issues. And no brains at all.

105 Hahahahhahahah,, I've got the wookie so there!!! Think about it,, wookie,, nookie,, I am soooooo the man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!............................... OsamaHusseinIslamObama 2012' (the terrorist-Uighur-ACORN-media choice) -It's never too early to campaign-

106

2) Volume.

Ha!

Reminds me of Steyn's great line about GM making up for their losses for each car they sell by selling in volume.

107 Just be yourself . Sooner or later you'll find someone that thinks "yourself" is just the person they were looking for .
Of course , ymmv.

108
AngelEm@106

I was gobsmacked when I heard the Truther, Sheen had been engaged to Kelly Preston (!!) (now Mrs. John Travolta) and shot her in the arm.  Damn.  At least she called off the engagement.  That douche needs to go to prison.  For a long time.

109 If you're just looking to get laid with dumb hot girls, this is pretty much true. 

110 A lot of male behavior can be explained as just a vicious intra-male competition for those high-status positions.

Posted by: bobbo at January 06, 2010 07:19 PM (+ABdJ)

People really should read up on evolutionary psychology. You sound like you might have.

Kind of kills the idea of romance, though.

111 Careful on that one. They can go the Vince Neil, mega douche move, and put a ginormous cubic zirconium in the authentic tiffany box.

Oh, first thing it goes to the appraiser's.

112

Posted by: Ohio Dan at January 06, 2010 07:17 PM (rurh0)

 

No John Ford Coley?  Seriously, thanks for posting that.  I got swelled up with jingoistic, nationalist pride to see my fellow yellow being portrayed as the real badasses against the canvas of the idiot white liberals!

 

 

113

Charlie Sheen makes $800,000 per episode.

Evolutionary psychology holds.

114 Kratos, I love wearing silver jewelry. It doesn't bother me.

115 My four brothers and I (I'm the only girl) talk about this subject a lot.  They tell me that they would be more attracted to a somewhat good looking or even a plainly looking girl who is fun, good sense of humor, personality, etc., any day of the week over a great looking girl who is bitchy, snobby, conceited, etc.

I think the same principle applies to women for men.  If a man is more on the plain or nerdy side, but he is funny and has a good personality, that is a real turn-on.  Using some charm and humor, he'll have no problems with the ladies.

Just a word of advice....don't be afraid to say hello.  :-)

116 113 Careful on that one. They can go the Vince Neil, mega douche move, and put a ginormous cubic zirconium in the authentic tiffany box.

Oh, first thing it goes to the appraiser's.

 

Yes, under the guise of obtaining insurance coverage.

117 Jane @110- He's a known psycho. I have no idea how he keeps getting women to be in the same room with him, let alone marry and have kids with him. I like my men mentally stable, thanks.

118 I don't feel sorry for the women Charlie Sheen marries and abuses. They're too stupid to look at his past relationships and think he'll treat them differently or "change" and don't deserve my sympathy.

119  "Douchebag" is much too generic.  There are plenty of "douchebags" who never see the precious pink, so to speak.  They are the assholes with poor hygiene in the cubicle next to you or the folks who make a minute in their presence unbearable do to their inane banter.

The difference with the douchebags in the above pictures with "teh wimmens", is that they have a few other traits they mix in with their douchebaggery.

Like, they are in decent to good shape and/or physically attractive. They may be exciting  or fun to be around.  They are confident... etc.

I'm sure everyone here has  had friend that, yeah, when it came down to it they were an ass.... but you always had a good time going out with them.

120

As far as scoring a hot chick, you could do what I did: Smoke enough pot to fool yourself into thinking you are the most edgy, awesome bastard alive, talk to women like your doing them a favor, and score a smoking hot 16 year old that will literally bang your balls against your spleen, when you're 24. I know, that's awful; but every guy on this site would do the same if you couldve at that age.

BTW: The smoking hot 16 year old is now 30, and we have two awesome boys, and have been married for 10 years.

121 #117  Just a word of advice....don't be afraid to say hello.  :-)

That word again, ugh.  No thanks.

I'll just sit at my place sharping my wooden stakes playing GoW and looking at Skinemax pron.

122 Just checked out the most current thread, there's a war going on over there--St. Christoph vs all the morons.  I think he's toast.  It will be nice to finally be rid of him.  His metaphysical pontificating gets really old after a while.

123 Sorry.  Never got past that 'hello' shit you ladies are supposedly so hot on.

Got married to a bossy woman who just put me in a headlock and wouldn't let go.

124
andycanuck is the only good Canadian in all of Canadia.

125 I like Carolla sometimes, but he is the epitome of the type of libertarian douchebag Ace wrote about last week -- the guy who ought to be outraged by what Obama and the Dems are actually doing with real live, coercive legislation, but is instead bent out of shape about social cons.

He's a smart guy, yet a complete idiot, too.

126 Clean junk helps getting chicks.

127 Sheee-iiit. Sheen looks like a totally stable teddybear next to my ex. I would marry him, take my half of the cash, and if he screwed with me, I'd shoot him. Or run over him with my car. Probably even if he didnt screw w/ me.

128 @129...

Like junk in the trunk?  A good booty on a man is a good thing, I must admit.

129 It will be nice to finally be rid of him.  His metaphysical pontificating gets really old after a while.

It's interesting that he, a Deist, is pretty much equivalent in tone and manner to the Evangelical Athiests.

130 126 Sorry.  Never got past that 'hello' shit you ladies are supposedly so hot on.

Got married to a bossy woman who just put me in a headlock and wouldn't let go.

Silverman?  Is that you?

131 Ha! Most of those "smokin hot chicks" like those in the above photos are the female equivalent of said douchebags... birds of a feather and all that.  They might be stripper-hot but they're probably just as God-awful annoying and crazy as the guys in the photos (Jersey Shore, anyone?). Just like some of those guys, they might be fun for a little while, but later you'd be sorry you ever met them. LOL

132 >>131 @129...

Like junk in the trunk?  A good booty on a man is a good thing, I must admit.


You're joking, right?

133 71 You want a date? Ask her on a date. Use the word date.

Yes! Please, please tell ALL men this! I have been on so many dates and not realized they were dates because the men taking me out never made that clear. Every time I think it's just a nice meal between friends, they spring on me it's a date. Um, no. You have to tell me in advance.

Umm, I figure you already know this, but guys always think its a date.
1.Dates -> 2.Strokin' Cats
All roads for guys lead to 2.

134 Like junk in the trunk?  A good booty on a man is a good thing, I must admit.

You're joking, right?

Of course I'm not joking.  What's wrong with a man having a little junk on the backside?  purrr

135
Most of those "smokin hot chicks" like those in the above photos are the female equivalent of said douchebags... birds of a feather and all that.

Fuckin'-A right!

As they say: like to like

All those nerdy-vanilla lookin' dudes need to find their nerdy-vanilla counterpart and stop bitching about not getting the 'hot' chick.

136 >>Of course I'm not joking.  What's wrong with a man having a little junk on the backside?  purrr


The junk I was talking about is in the front.

137 andycanuck is the only good Canadian in all of Canadia.

Don't forget logprof. We like him, too. Although he's an American living in Canada.

138 If it flys, floats, or fucks.....rent it.

139
logpoof is cool, too

140 @139:

Ahh.....we'll...I would never complain about that kind of junk (wink).  The combination of junk would be great.  Kind of like a junkyard so to speak?

141

I have two things to add to this, first of all why have none of my pool boys been porn star hot? I was deceived I tell you, deceived.

And secondly, Rum, the blue box is nice, but I kind of want the red one that says "Cartier" on it instead.

142 I didn't read every comment, it's impossible. How do you people keep up with the chat room mentality in here? Anyway,

There is a site called Hot chicks with douchebags, if you weren't aware of it.

http://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/

Have fun with that one.

143 I've always been a Tiffany girl, PGiS. Cartier is just as nice, however.

144 I always wanted to date nice girls with no bad habits. Maybe that was my problem. Yeah, like I remember dating, back in the 1970s...

145 144 ...first of all why have none of my pool boys been porn star hot? I was deceived I tell you, deceived. Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at January 06, 2010 08:02 PM (RZ8pf) You want Ron Jeremy to be your pool boy? Good grief, the guy looks like something you'd find floating face down in your pool.

146 147 I always wanted to date nice girls with no bad habits. Maybe that was my problem. Yeah, like I remember dating, back in the 1970s... Posted by: rawmuse at January 06, 2010 08:15 PM (mbYf/) You rang? http://www.shoppingblog.com/pics/flyingnun.gif

147 146 I've always been a Tiffany girl, PGiS. Cartier is just as nice, however.

There are people who don't want our wedding wares? Blasphemy! 

148

Damn, I went all (Barry/Off) and was gonna' share a heart-felt, touching moment here about women, but, the comment was, alas denied, so never mind.  I guess you racist-bitter-clingers missed out.

 

OsamaHusseinIslamObama 2012'

(the terrorist-Uighur-ACORN-media choice)

-It's never too early to campaign-

     

149 First, a chick at the peak of her hotness and youth is far more attractive (and generates from guys more commitment and emotion) than say, an older gal who's had lots of guys (little ability to bond -- you're "next" rather than anything special).

So yeah, it does matter, that the most desirable women choose D-bags. It is not just "hot chicks" but basically any attractive woman who will choose a D-bag A-hole if at all possible. Educated professional women being no different.

Women find age and professional accomplishment, status, and power attractive in men. However, men find youth and beauty and innocence attractive in women.

The mating dance is stacked towards women, who want D-bags in their youth and commitment from regular guys when they age out of being able to attract D-bags. What they are likely to get is guys all competing to be D-bags. This is old stuff, but yeah, get a schtick.

An average joe should get tattoo, ride a Harley, become a Flatbiller, get into fights, etc. Because that is what women want. Not all women, but the desirable women. Sure, you can get all the fat, fifty something women you want as a "nice guy," but lets be honest. Who'd want to?

150 You douchetards have been bogarting the cooch for waaaay too long.  We're coming back in a big way in 2010.

Screw you. We get more hot pussy every year than Cecil B. DeMille.

151 >>150 146 I've always been a Tiffany girl, PGiS. Cartier is just as nice, however.

Have you ladies heard of the always pleasing "dick in a box"? It'll shine, if you rub it hard enough.

152 I don't know. Weird Al Yankovic scored himself a pretty smokin' hot wife.  Speaking as a married man for 18 years, that means dick in regards to getting nookie, but still.  I'm not convinced you need to be a freak to get play.

153 Posted by: Jerod at January 06, 2010 08:21 PM (otlXg)

I HATE those commercials!

Have you ladies heard of the always pleasing "dick in a box"? It'll shine, if you rub it hard enough.

Heh. One of the few times SNL was actually funny.

154

Whiskey, with all due respect, ummm, no

Your analysis doesn't take into effect that priorities with time change. And that's the key factor to this entire conversation.

They guy I wanted it 20 is vastly different from the guy I want at 30 (something )

And average Joes, don't listen to him! We (many of us anyway) do not want men riding Harleys if they hate it and getting into fights just because.

It's pretty elementary.

155 Those guys with a gimmick are also joining the Disease of the Month Club, and are going to flame out one day and then the younger chicks will laugh at them and the older chicks won't even give them a mercy HJ.

156 Too many words, for something so simple:

You treat queens like whores, and whores like queens.

157 The douches will also say whatever it takes to get laid and unfortunately too many women constantly fall for the bs.

158 143: Ahh.....we'll...I would never complain about that kind of junk (wink).  The combination of junk would be great.  Kind of like a junkyard so to speak?

From personal experience, women do complain about too much of that kind of junk.  As Chef said on South Park, the only way to get an elephant and a pig together is to "get them gooood and drunk"

159 I always thought the same thing. Chicks are into stereotypes.

160

Rent the young hotties.

You will still want them next decade and the trade-in value drops quickly.

161 And secondly, Rum, the blue box is nice, but I kind of want the red one that says "Cartier" on it instead.

Pfft.  Silly 4-fold carbon briquets.  Boring.  I prefer a box with "Bosch" on the cover.  Or "Kimber".  Or even "Black & Decker", it's the thought that counts.

162 This video only address assholes and wimps. Most women want the guy who's normal but not a pussy. Guys, please don't turn yourselves into douchebags. The world has too many of them already.

163

#65 and #138 nailed it. When I hear from mutual friends that some guy in our circle really likes me, I tell them to tell him to pass me a note in study hall. We're both over 50. 

164

Guys:  1.  Don't be that whiny emo twit who's always blathering on about his "feelings," and how his "feelings" are just so monumental.  That emo twit is boring and annoying.

2.  Don't start babbling about the woman's boobs before you even take her out.  She'll hang up the phone for good on your dumb ass.

3.  Don't be a blatherskate about all the fantastic things you do--you invented a cure for AIDS, designed the latest AF jet, baked a souffle, and tamed a grizzly bear, just last weekend.  Frankly, it's better to let her find out your amazing talents with only a little help from you.  And serve her the souffle.

4.  Don't talk during the movie!!!!!!

5.  Don't start yammering on about how many old ex bfs she's had.  You don't want to know, and you have no right to.  The jealousy schtick is way unattractive.

165 I'm going to add that you should give the Adam Carolla podcast a listen. I think he's basically a libertarian at heart. He's always ranting about the liberal Hollywood pussies, which is fun. Though he's also into legalizing drugs and for gay marriage. Overall, he's not afraid of saying non-PC things, which is refreshing to hear.

166 Meh.  The box don't matter, ladies.  Just make it platinum with a nice 1 karat rock.  Bonus points if it is a Kashmir sapphire, a Myanmar ruby or Colombian emerald, and I don't mean lab-created, either.

Yes...you can learn a lot in geology class (or by studying the British royals) if you pay attention....

167 167, ushie, and when all that fails?

168 wherestherum: I'm prepared to get down on bended knee and give you a ring - from my cell phone.

169 87 hey prof.  Your absence has been noted several times.  Good to see to see you back!

Posted by: garrett at January 06, 2010 07:11 PM (JzemV)

--I'm back from the office.  Yeah, I checked in a couple of times (much more to read than comment), but it was so busy between shopping, hanging with family, celebrating and entertaining the missus.

Oh, and I got laid.

170 Eric, pretend you're the Marlboro Man...strong, silent, wearing a hat...

171

I'll admit confidence is a good attribute when looking for a lady.  When I was in the market, I had to push myself to make that first approach.  Now that I am out of the market and have observed my daughters, I realize what basket cases many women are.  My confidence now comes from having been married for a long time.

Dale Carnegie once wrote, "A compliment saved is a compliment wasted."  Being out of the game frees one to be more open with people.  If I notice something attractive on or about a lady I usually will compliment her.  A few seem a little off balance but most gracefully accept it .   I suspect the off balance ones still appreciate it but don't know what to say.  I figure it costs me nothing and it makes them feel good.

172

I think its official.  I've killed another thread.  Thinking about changing my handle.

173 The guy who gets the tail out here in the sticks is the guy who has meth.

174

So, tell our sons to be gay guys or Jersey guidos, and NOT the boring, responsible, horny inbetween (i.e. normal) guys.

Sorry. ComicFail

175

I tried the whole hot, way-younger-chick-than-me thing.  Me 36, her 19, and I was rockin' that position of authority/status thing.  It was cool for awhile, and she sure liked to do that balls-to-spleen thing a lot, but give me a woman at least 28, preferably in her thirties.  The sex is so much better.

At 19, give or take, they're usually all about male validation, pleasing their man, or some weird ass sexual hang-up derived from letting a few too many stroke the kitty from an early age.  Around 30 and older, they actually have a libido and want to have sex because they want to have sex.  And unlike the 19 y/o, they know what they're doing. 

You don't want the young, nubile hottie that knows every trick in the book.

176 125 but every guy on this site would do the same if you couldve at that age.

Speak for yourself. I liked women. They could even be older. Some as much as ten years older. Girls? Liked them when I was a boy.

Nice that it worked out for you. What part of Kentucky are you from, again?

Posted by: I Am Nobody Jack at January 06, 2010 07:43 PM (IhHdM)

The thing I left out was that at 16, my wife was as mature as I was at 24. She had a hard life growing up, and it made her have a no bullshit, responsible personality. She was also smart, which was a big turn-on for me. I could never stand stupid women. Years later, she told me that most of the time she never understood anything I was talking about, but pretended to because she liked me. That is awesome in my book, seeing as I was a pot smoking musician type with nothing to offer but how awesome I thought I was. Also, she had the tightest body and prettiest ass I had ever seen.

After 14 years and two kids, she is still hot as fuck. Being with her made me want to go back to school and have kids, which was something I never thought I'd do. She claims I did all of this only because her ass looked so good, but I disagree (a little).

BTW: I am from southeastern Ky. I wont really be more specific.

177 I don't know. Weird Al Yankovic scored himself a pretty smokin' hot wife. Money and fame will do that...plus he's pretty fucking funny.

178 what no one is going to speak up for us douchebags ?

179 Advice from Jimmy Soul:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh9ZZgDqzAg

180 I weep for the future.
At least reproductive technology has widened the gap between bags of wallop and scads of kids.

181 Think 40 year old glam rock or punks (that aren't famous) are getting laid at higher rates? Nope.

Ummm, really? You might want to take a look: http://preview.tinyurl.com/y9ystnp

Or not, actually, if you value your sanity. Or face the fate of Dalek Caan. It is said that Dalek Caan lost his sanity by navigating into and out of a time-locked event. That is untrue. He gazed upon Poopaloompa's visage, and went mad.

182

Want to date hot looking heterosexuals of the opposite sex without meeting them at a bar or out-of-control party?

Go to church socials and meet good looking people with brains and principles.  You probably won't get an STD and won't have to look like a freak as you go through life.

Oh, and yeah, church people do get laid, the churches are full of people who aren't practicing christians but still look the part.  It just happens to be their thing instead of the freaky lifestyles in the Carolla video.

183

My priorities are all screwed up. I married a man with huge brains who was actually interesting. Stupid me.

184

BURBERRY SCARF just $99.9

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185 warden knows he stank of fear

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188 paying on finding other unsuitable products, paying on dealing with the defects of the products, paying on processing the return and refund of the products.

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