July 07, 2010
— Ace Yeah, we got that much.
It is clear, too, in the course of the two hours I spend with Greene that he has some pretty wacky ideas that, were he to win in November, would put him among the more unpredictable members of the senate. At one point, he lurches off on his big idea for how to create jobs in South Carolina."Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That's something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It's not something a typical person would bring up. That's something that could happen, that makes sense. It's not a joke."
Posted by: Ace at
12:26 PM
| Comments (329)
Post contains 178 words, total size 1 kb.
Well, shit; I'd buy one.
I'd be more proud of that than of any of those damned "collekturz eddishuns!" of Newsweek &c. from November 2008, anyway.
Posted by: Zimriel at July 07, 2010 12:31 PM (9Sbz+)
The news out of SC politics today!
Remember what a total asshole Alvin Green was following the Dem primary and how he was a likely nefarious plot by Republicans?
Oh how the media had nothing good to say about him.
The sheer gall of these papers now is astounding. They assume everyone has forgotten all of that and now they are rehabilitating Greene.
Now the new meme; "he was a quite and shy school boy who is taking on the Goliath of Jim DeMint, evil conservative Republican".
Alvin Greene earned the nickname “turtle” in high school – a quiet, withdrawn boy who was smart when he applied himself but rarely took a chance and tried to put himself in comfortable situations.
Nearly four weeks ago, the 32-year-old unemployed military veteran turned South CarolinaÂ’s political scene upside down when he won the Democratic nomination for a U.S. Senate seat. And unlike that high school student, heÂ’s taking a big chance: running against powerhouse Republican Sen. Jim DeMint of Greenville.
I swear folks, you couldn't make this shit up if you were trying to write SF.Posted by: Vic at July 07, 2010 12:31 PM (/jbAw)
Posted by: Typical White Guy at July 07, 2010 12:32 PM (IhQuA)
[speaks into tape recorder]
Call Starkist!
Posted by: nine coconuts at July 07, 2010 12:34 PM (DHNp4)
Posted by: Penfold at July 07, 2010 12:35 PM (1PeEC)
Republicans are thinking, hey, we got this shit sewed up, but, honestly, if AL FUCKING FRANKEN is a member of the Senate, why not this dipstick?
I like Demint and all, but if the Senate were filled with 100 Alvin Greene's, I'd worry a lot less.
Posted by: blaster at July 07, 2010 12:35 PM (su3hy)
Boy Howdy. I want the concession on Alvin Greene dildos. There must be millions of women who want to get porked by him.
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 12:38 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: Zimriel at July 07, 2010 12:38 PM (9Sbz+)
Or how about an action figure of me with a hard on? And a co-ed?
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:40 PM (GwPRU)
Um, second look?
Posted by: First 400 Names In The Boston Phone Directory at July 07, 2010 12:40 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:41 PM (4WbTI)
Posted by: World Of Warcraft coalition for progress at July 07, 2010 12:41 PM (lJfdd)
Posted by: YRM (The Youngest Ace Reader) at July 07, 2010 12:42 PM (38UQ3)
Will there be a Perv-Stalker Al Greene action figure?
There's a button on his back, but you don't wanna know what happens when you press it.
Posted by: reason at July 07, 2010 12:43 PM (kZVsz)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:43 PM (4WbTI)
hahaha @ "for the kids"
Just like Tim Robbins in THE HUDSUCKER PROXY...
/shows a drawing of a circle and says, "you know, for the kids."
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 12:43 PM (uFokq)
Posted by: Waterhouse at July 07, 2010 12:44 PM (SbVxv)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:45 PM (4WbTI)
I for one think it's a great idea.
A GI Joe type of action figure isn't very fitting though. Anyone know how to copywright the Alvin Greene Pet Rock?
Posted by: Hollowpoint at July 07, 2010 12:45 PM (plsiE)
Posted by: Let's Go To Your Room, Right Now! at July 07, 2010 12:45 PM (VXBR1)
Posted by: Barbie at July 07, 2010 12:45 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Hoosier Daddy at July 07, 2010 12:45 PM (gLNLT)
Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at July 07, 2010 12:46 PM (wd0Iq)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:47 PM (yQWNf)
Would anyone like to purchase my latest romance novel? It is called "Kicked in the Butt by Love."
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:48 PM (kZVsz)
Reread that paragraph Ace highlighted above. Then read it again.
This is the country you now live in.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 12:48 PM (P33XN)
I mean, think of the accessories.
Like the Computer Center Sexual Assault Playset™. Just add a Barbie doll to the mix and think of the fun your little one can have playing at the computer desks complete with little monitors displaying little holographic porn stickers!
This sh!t is golden!!!
Posted by: Alvin Greene's Marketing Manager at July 07, 2010 12:50 PM (fck8x)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:50 PM (VXBR1)
"I swear to God, what Alvin Greene says out loud has to be what Obama thinks in his mind."
Alvin Greene : in public :: Joe Biden : "brainstorming" sessions with his handlers
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:51 PM (kZVsz)
Posted by: The original Al Green at July 07, 2010 12:51 PM (2DxKT)
Kool Keith?
Is he a regular on Howard Stern? Because this Alvin Greene sounds like one of Stern's retards.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 12:51 PM (uFokq)
More like Bender Robot.
"Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me"
Why stop at miniature representations, think big, why not a monument?
JOBS!
Posted by: MikeTheMoose which is a reference to the animal in the deer family not the religion of peace. at July 07, 2010 12:51 PM (0q2P7)
Between the EPA, the new taxes on having employees, and the unions, that would create jobs in China.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at July 07, 2010 12:51 PM (M9BNu)
Oh Bubba, Noooooo !
Posted by: Forrest Gump at July 07, 2010 12:52 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:52 PM (VXBR1)
Posted by: dagny at July 07, 2010 12:53 PM (Jsvws)
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 12:53 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: nickless at July 07, 2010 12:53 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: DollsRUs at July 07, 2010 12:54 PM (+sBB4)
Posted by: ryukyu at July 07, 2010 12:54 PM (MOHSR)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:54 PM (yQWNf)
Posted by: Schmal Green at July 07, 2010 12:55 PM (2DxKT)
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 12:55 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: Dr. Spank at July 07, 2010 12:56 PM (pEK05)
Posted by: John Galt at July 07, 2010 12:57 PM (F/4zf)
Posted by: YRM (The Youngest Ace Reader) at July 07, 2010 12:57 PM (38UQ3)
I like Demint and all, but if the Senate were filled with 100 Alvin Greene's, I'd worry a lot less.
Posted by: blaster at July 07, 2010 04:35 PM (su3hy)
Amen.
Posted by: WalrusRex at July 07, 2010 12:57 PM (xxgag)
Alvin Greene's non-slave name is: Salim King Shabbaz Mutha-fuck Yo Sistah Mohammad, Mutha-Fuckah.
Just saying.
Posted by: Maurice "Pussy" Heath, AKA King Samir Shabbaz at July 07, 2010 12:58 PM (Zj8fM)
Too bad you can't play with tar-balls. Because I was pretty stoked when I first heard that there were tar-balls washing up on the gulf beaches. Because then you could get all the kids to get out there and pick it all up. Tell them it's playing. Playing with tar-balls. It might even be fun. Then you'd get the beaches all cleaned up and you'd be getting kids outside to do some exercise stuff, which is good, because I keep hearing about how kids are all fat now from the Internets.
Man, you shoulda seen this one little fat kid I saw the other day at Target. Oh man, was that one fat little kid. Couldn't even fit into the little seat on the cart, so it had to just follow behind momma the whole time. Waddlin' around, just waiting to get to the checkout so it could beg for some candy.
Man, fat kids need to get out there and clean up the tar balls.
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 12:58 PM (5npD/)
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010
04:54 PM (uFokq)
That's why we need to make Obama inaction figures.
Posted by: WalrusRex at July 07, 2010 12:59 PM (xxgag)
Posted by: Typical White Guy at July 07, 2010 04:32 PM (IhQuA)
I couldn't
Posted by: C*ntessa Brewer at July 07, 2010 12:59 PM (BP6Z1)
Kinda funny, he didn't say "a suit", maybe reading a little bit too much into it, but I think he is saying he only has the one.
Posted by: Guy Fawkes at July 07, 2010 12:59 PM (OMRnD)
Posted by: Wham-O Products at July 07, 2010 01:00 PM (QKKT0)
Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at July 07, 2010 01:01 PM (mHQ7T)
Posted by: Jim "Hearing Impaired" Clyburn at July 07, 2010 01:01 PM (pEK05)
Posted by: Gnat X at July 07, 2010 01:02 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: dum blond at July 07, 2010 01:03 PM (gbCNS)
Posted by: Santa Slow Joe at July 07, 2010 01:03 PM (RD7QR)
Senator Alvin Green action figure from MATTEL®
Alvin talks! He says 5 phrases including "What?" and "Yeah, yeah."
Alvin has laser beam eyes that flash and induce epileptic seizures!
And Alvin comes with accessories such as a tiny pc with pornographic pics on the monitor!
batteries not included
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:04 PM (uFokq)
Posted by: GuyfromNH at July 07, 2010 01:04 PM (kbOju)
You all know this is the end of the Republic, right?
Posted by: Sharrukin at July 07, 2010 01:07 PM (eYgrz)
Posted by: t-bird at July 07, 2010 01:07 PM (FcR7P)
Posted by: Prof. Venkman at July 07, 2010 01:07 PM (Bs34i)
Posted by: Senator James Clyburn at July 07, 2010 01:08 PM (xxgag)
"Kinda funny, he didn't say "a suit", maybe reading a little bit too much into it, but I think he is saying he only has the one."
I actually read that like he would have some sort of self-designed superhero outfit. THE GREENE LANTERN!
Posted by: reason at July 07, 2010 01:08 PM (5npD/)
Admit it, that's better than any of the ideas coming out from the Obama admin.
Posted by: alexthechick at July 07, 2010 01:10 PM (fblis)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 07, 2010 01:10 PM (c0A3e)
Golfing Obama
Bowling Obama.
Nobel Laureate Meeting Obama.
Useless speech Obama.
Photo Op Obama.
Kobe Beef Dinner Obama.
Vacationing Obama.
Date Night Obama.
Hamburger Stand Obama.
Beer Summit Obama.
Sunday Show Obama.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose which is a reference to the animal in the deer family not the religion of peace. at July 07, 2010 01:12 PM (0q2P7)
It would be funny if someone with p-chopping skills would Muslim-ify historical events for, you know, a self-esteem boost for the muslims.
Such as including a few muslims in...
-the signing of the Declaration of Independence
-the moon landing
-the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima
and, of course, at the Last Supper.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:13 PM (uFokq)
Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at July 07, 2010 01:13 PM (c0A3e)
Golfing Obama
Bowling Obama.
Nobel Laureate Meeting Obama.
Useless speech Obama.
Photo Op Obama.
Kobe Beef Dinner Obama.
Vacationing Obama.
Date Night Obama.
Hamburger Stand Obama.
Beer Summit Obama.
Sunday Show Obama.
Posted by: MikeTheMoose which is a reference to the animal in the deer family not the religion of peace. at July 07, 2010 05:12 PM (0q2P7)
Date night with Larry Sinclair Obama?
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 01:15 PM (YVZlY)
Posted by: Dan Rather at July 07, 2010 01:17 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Delmar at July 07, 2010 01:17 PM (OMRnD)
-a muslim marrying Liz Taylor
-instead of the sailor kissing the nurse in that famous WWII photo, a muslim can be stoning her for being a whore
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:20 PM (uFokq)
Dude. I hope this is a democrat. If so he deserves a spot inside the clown car with Hussein, Pelosi and Reid.
Posted by: The Great Satan™ at July 07, 2010 01:20 PM (BedzM)
I know the education system sucks, that the black family has been destroyed, generations have grown up on the dole, there's a stigma against being educated (being white), etc. yada yada yada. But this is unacceptable.
I guess all you can do is laugh about it.
BTW -- does anybody have a link to the SNL skit where Eddie Murphy plays Mr. Rogers? IIRC it's the one where he has to sneak out the window when his landlord comes for the rent. I've looked for it many times but I've never been able to find it.
Posted by: Ed Anger at July 07, 2010 01:21 PM (7+pP9)
Posted by: World Of Warcraft coalition for progress at July 07, 2010 04:41 PM (lJfdd)
I'm runnin too foo's!
Posted by: Mr. T's Night Elf Mohawk at July 07, 2010 01:22 PM (0pYSi)
- a muslim comandeering a commercial jet with box cutters and flying said jet into the World Trade Center .....
*not the kind of feel good history we're looking for?*
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:24 PM (yQWNf)
__________________
Biden/Greene 2012?
Posted by: I can haz bumper stickerzz? at July 07, 2010 01:25 PM (3K4hn)
I was thinking about putting an Alvin Greene bumber sticker on my car under Nikki Haley's and Tim Scott's.
Homemade of course, in crayon, and possibly misspelled.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 01:25 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: katya, the designated driver at July 07, 2010 01:26 PM (9u8Dl)
You're missing
Action Bowing Obama
Squeeze his legs/feet together and the Super Groveling Action™ kicks in and the Panderer-in-Chief does a dep waist bow that wipes away years and years of American misdeeds.
Posted by: little evil at July 07, 2010 01:26 PM (KbHtU)
- a muslim shown in home video tape sawing off the head of Daniel Pearl and holding said head up as some kind of macabre trophy.
*I am not getting close yet am I?*
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:27 PM (yQWNf)
-the signing of the Declaration of Independence
-the moon landing
-the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima
and, of course, at the Last Supper.
Some other things to photshop muslims into:
- discovery of vaccines
- invention of aircraft
- organization of the periodic table
- development of the microprocessor
- the Enlightenment
- the internet
- carbon dating
- theory of evolution
- Newtonian physics
- radio communications
- quantum physics
- medical scanning devices
- modern cosmology
- invention of the automobile
- creation of representative democracy
- nuclear weaponry
- the telephone
- the telegraph
- the television
- carbon dating
Posted by: Cicero at July 07, 2010 01:28 PM (QKKT0)
It would be funny if someone with p-chopping skills would Muslim-ify historical events for, you know, a self-esteem boost for the muslims.
Such as including a few muslims in...
-the signing of the Declaration of Independence
-the moon landing
-the raising of the flag at Iwo Jima
and, of course, at the Last Supper.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 05:13 PM (uFokq)
New never before seen photograph from the original Moon Landing.
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 01:28 PM (YVZlY)
Posted by: Jim Rose at July 07, 2010 01:28 PM (0qEy4)
Posted by: Bill D. Cat ( Nobel Prize winner ) at July 07, 2010 01:28 PM (NuAIL)
Posted by: Duhgee at July 07, 2010 01:29 PM (7Tc5G)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:31 PM (yQWNf)
- Newtonian physics
okay, a muslim sitting under a tree carving up an infidel and an apple falls on his head. I like it.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:31 PM (uFokq)
Oh, and I hope with all my heart Alvin Greene wins.
Posted by: Dan Rather at July 07, 2010 01:32 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:33 PM (yQWNf)
Heartwarming story of coexistence with Islam.
In Gaza, every Palestinian baby is just like Rosemary's baby -- born into this world for evil.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:36 PM (uFokq)
Let's show the world that we can do third world banana republics with the best of them. Since the election of Hussein we're giving Mexico a run for its money in terms of govt corruption.
Posted by: The Great Satan™ at July 07, 2010 01:36 PM (BedzM)
- a muslim taking the oath of office to be the 44th president of the United States.
let's not get crazy.
oh, wait...
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:37 PM (uFokq)
Posted by: Not Your Granddaddy's NASA at July 07, 2010 05:31 PM (xxgag)
That is why there can never be peace with Muslims. They do not think like westerners in any way. Gratitude is a foreign concept to them.
Posted by: Sharrukin at July 07, 2010 01:38 PM (eYgrz)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 01:38 PM (YVZlY)
You all know this is the end of the Republic, right?
I think most of the people here know that.
You can't go out and start shooting leftists, though. We're not quite there yet.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:38 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 01:39 PM (3BOEN)
139 Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 05:38 PM
+1000
BRAVO! ENCORE!
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:40 PM (yQWNf)
Wow! Newly discovered picture of the flag raising on Iwo Jima.
it's funny because it reminds me of how Reuters were p-chopping that same old Palestinian woman crying in a bunch of photos. Ace did a post on it a few years ago.
Posted by: semaphore, muthafucka, do you speak it? at July 07, 2010 01:40 PM (uFokq)
NASA just announced their latest space initiative.
They're gonna get one of those Alvin Greene dolls, attach it to a bottle rocket, and fire it into space!
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:40 PM (P33XN)
You can't go out and start shooting leftists, though. We're not quite there yet.
We're gettin' there.....
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 01:41 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: JackStraw at July 07, 2010 01:42 PM (VW9/y)
You all know this is the end of the Republic, right?
I think most of the people here know that.
You can't go out and start shooting leftists, though. We're not quite there yet.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 05:38 PM (P33XN)
But that's the best part!
How the hell can a democracy function with such total ignorance? It can't. It just can't.
Posted by: Sharrukin at July 07, 2010 01:42 PM (eYgrz)
Posted by: Phil Smith at July 07, 2010 01:42 PM (n+cpx)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:43 PM (yQWNf)
Posted by: Penfold at July 07, 2010 01:43 PM (1PeEC)
We're gettin' there.....
Yep. Some think it won't come to that. Maybe so. I'd prepare for the worst though.
We'll win, too, because most people are cowards and weaklings and won't want to get involved. They'll just go along with whatever happens.
Hell, it only took a third of the colonists here to beat the fucking British Empire. And out of that number, most of them were not actively fighting.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:43 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Pixar at July 07, 2010 01:44 PM (pUfK9)
Posted by: Penfold at July 07, 2010 05:43 PM (1PeEC)
And they thought that I was deadpan.
Posted by: Buster Keaton at July 07, 2010 01:44 PM (xxgag)
How the hell can a democracy function with such total ignorance? It can't. It just can't.
We are not a democracy.
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 01:44 PM (yQWNf)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 05:43 PM (P33XN)
You know the VERY BEST part of the American Revolution? We got to deport the fucking Torys.
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 01:45 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: alvin at July 07, 2010 01:47 PM (Jsvws)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 01:48 PM (c0A3e)
Posted by: Andy Sullivan and Chaz Johnson at July 07, 2010 01:48 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 01:49 PM (YVZlY)
We are not a democracy.
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 05:44 PM (yQWNf)
Wanna bet?
No functioning constitution and rule by whatever the mob currently wants! The federal government and a politicized judicial system dictating to the states. What Republic do you mean?
Posted by: Sharrukin at July 07, 2010 01:50 PM (eYgrz)
You know the VERY BEST part of the American Revolution? We got to deport the fucking Torys.
The tories and a lot of loyalists went to Canada. They invented socialized medicine, those fuckin' hats, and hockey.
One out of three ain't great. I'll give them bonus points for Rush.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:50 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:52 PM (P33XN)
You know the VERY BEST part of the American Revolution? We got to deport the fucking Torys.
Yeah but they did beat the French before the revolution. Imagine being French, or even speaking it. You know how all the French colonies turned out. Like we are going.....
Posted by: alvin at July 07, 2010 01:52 PM (Jsvws)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 01:53 PM (UOM48)
You know what else we can do? We can make towels. Little towels with embroidered pictures of me. Little towels. And blankets. And washcloths. I fuckin' love pictures of me. We can have cups with my face on the side. Saucers. Lunchboxes. Boxes of cereal. And cartoons. I love cartoons. We can have cartoons of me where I fly around and kill the bad guy. And more toys based on that cartoon. And then a movie about me can be made from the cartoon series. Denzel Washington can play me.
Ahem. Mind if I handle the movie and the merchandise?
Posted by: George Lucas at July 07, 2010 01:54 PM (3BOEN)
Posted by: Alvin, not just a chipmunk anymore at July 07, 2010 01:55 PM (gbCNS)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 05:52 PM (P33XN)
Beat me to it. I can never get enough IRB in my life.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 01:55 PM (0pYSi)
I'll give bonus points for Canadian Bacon and LaBatt's.
Yeah, but some of those brewers lived here and then left. So they learned their craft here and then started making it in Canada.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:55 PM (P33XN)
I wonder how many more people we can shove off on Canada?
Well, many of the most brain dead leftards said they would go north if GWB was elected, but like every other thing they say, it was pure bullshit.
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 01:56 PM (OlN4e)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 01:57 PM (UOM48)
Well, many of the most brain dead leftards said they would go north if GWB was elected, but like every other thing they say, it was pure bullshit.
Posted by: maddogg at July 07, 2010 05:56 PM (OlN4e)
Not for lack of trying. We didn't want those shitidiots here either.
Posted by: Canada Immigration at July 07, 2010 01:57 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 01:58 PM (YVZlY)
Remember Dems, he's all yours - and he won on the race card because his name sounded "blacker" than his opponent's name.
Poetic justice is a stone cold bitch, ain't it ?
You're special, Alvin. Don't you let them make fun of you. Keep thinking outside of that box, sunshine. I'm going to go pop some more popcorn and wait for the next time someone puts a mic on this dude. Priceless.
Posted by: societyis2blame at July 07, 2010 01:59 PM (V3HUX)
How about a Hank Johnson action figure?
How about a Chuckles Johnson action figure. Comes with a bike (with no seat), a camera, and a lot of manufactured outrage.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 01:59 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Jarrod at July 07, 2010 01:59 PM (OzXHr)
Maybe we can fund this brilliant idea with tax payer stimulus.
Next, the dog enjoys a new chew toy.
Posted by: Obama at July 07, 2010 02:00 PM (0fzsA)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 02:01 PM (yQWNf)
A Chuckles Crist action figure?
Comes with a tanning bed and a female beard*.
*Kneepads optional
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:01 PM (P33XN)
Just want to point that out.
In political science.
From a very good school.
Political science. One of the "social" sciences. He graduated and everything.
Just want to point that out.
Posted by: AmishDude at July 07, 2010 02:01 PM (T0NGe)
Posted by: Alvin Greene Gold Clad Coins By the South Carolina Mint at July 07, 2010 02:01 PM (OMRnD)
Just want to point that out.
In political science.
From a very good school.
Political science. One of the "social" sciences. He graduated and everything.
Just want to point that out.
Posted by: AmishDude at July 07, 2010 06:01 PM (T0NGe)
You got a problem with my 'Cocks?
I'm an engineer, you know!
Posted by: Nadz X at July 07, 2010 02:03 PM (BP6Z1)
- invention of the automobile
- creation of representative democracy
- nuclear weaponry
- the telephone
- the telegraph
I'm workin' on that.....
Posted by: Imadinnerjacket at July 07, 2010 02:04 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Jean at July 07, 2010 02:04 PM (CPefM)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 02:05 PM (YVZlY)
How about a Hank Johnson action figure?
How about a Chuckles Johnson action figure. Comes with a bike (with no seat), a camera, and a lot of manufactured outrage.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 05:59 PM (P33XN)
I want a Ted Kennedy action figure. Comes with fully stocked bar and a water logged 68 Pontiac Catalina.
Chris Dodd action figure comes with a waitress. Imagine the possibilities?
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:05 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Abdominal Snowman at July 07, 2010 02:05 PM (MeZD8)
You gonna be the professor who flunks black guys who can't think? I didn't think so.
Posted by: Tenure Committee at July 07, 2010 02:05 PM (M9BNu)
*Kneepads optional
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 06:01 PM (P33XN)
Does it come with a beard though?
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:06 PM (0pYSi)
Not sure why, but all this talk about Black Panther Muslim Wannabes and NASA puts me in mind of The Old Negro Space Program.
Posted by: Sharkman at July 07, 2010 02:06 PM (Zj8fM)
You got a problem with my 'Cocks?
I'm an engineer, you know!
Posted by: Nadz X at July 07, 2010 06:03 PM (BP6Z1)
EXACTLY my point!
Although...isn't Clemson the stronger engineering school? (Hee hee)
Posted by: AmishDude at July 07, 2010 02:06 PM (T0NGe)
Does it come with a beard though?
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 06:06 PM (0pYSi)
Reading is fun! You mentioned the beard. My bad.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:06 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Jim Leahy at July 07, 2010 02:07 PM (NuAIL)
Canadian Bacon is Counterfeit Bacon. Faux Bacon. An abomination before the Bacon Gods. Death to Usurpers!
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:08 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:09 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Ken Royall at July 07, 2010 02:09 PM (9zzk+)
America invented beer that didn't have chunks in it.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:10 PM (P33XN)
Screw Alvin Greene dolls, let's say we collaborate on a new line of children's books?
Picture this... kids can look through scenes of great accomplishments in history and find a precocious Muslim pioneer hiding amongst a crowd... we can call it Where's Walid?
Posted by: Alvin Greene's Marketing Manager at July 07, 2010 02:11 PM (NLQEu)
Fuck'in A!
Posted by: Jim Leahy at July 07, 2010 06:07 PM (NuAIL)
We're just keeping this trailer park country a nice place to live, right Mr. Lahey?
Posted by: Randy at July 07, 2010 02:11 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:12 PM (UOM48)
;">Chuck Schumer: corporate WHORE
Geez, Chuckie rides the same cheap K-Mart bicycle that JugEars sports.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:12 PM (P9+0W)
You all know this is the end of the Republic, right?
I think most of the people here know that.
You can't go out and start shooting leftists, though. We're not quite there yet.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 05:38 PM (P33XN)
Oh, NOW you tell me.
Posted by: Commander Hussien at July 07, 2010 02:12 PM (tQ7IJ)
Posted by: Cicero at July 07, 2010 02:12 PM (rMX2W)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:14 PM (0pYSi)
Bust of Churchill not included
Posted by: Announcer at July 07, 2010 02:14 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: John Galt at July 07, 2010 04:57 PM (F/4zf)
Well, how much was his bribe, I mean graft, I mean kickback... wait, "Donation"? Sure, that'll do for terminology.
Nothing? Reid gave us quite a tidy chunk of taxpayer money for his endorsement; this guy's going to have the pay just like everyone else if he wants our help.
Oh, and ignore any other pro-gun group; they're just in it for the money.
Posted by: Gekkobear at July 07, 2010 02:16 PM (X0NX1)
The MFM sure has had a rough few weeks, hmmm?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:16 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:16 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Announcer at July 07, 2010 06:14 PM (BP6Z1)
Mom jeans and Urkel golf outfit are included though right?
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:17 PM (0pYSi)
_______________________
Yeah, but who split the beer atom so it could be fizzy?
Posted by: Young Einstein at July 07, 2010 02:17 PM (3K4hn)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:17 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Al Franken at July 07, 2010 06:14 PM (0fzsA)
Yeah, everyone's thinking the same thing here aren't they? We've got a suggestion, you might not appreciate it.
Posted by: Gekkobear at July 07, 2010 02:17 PM (X0NX1)
Posted by: Jim Leahy at July 07, 2010 02:18 PM (NuAIL)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:19 PM (zgZzy)
You all are just hatin' on a black man. This is racism, straight up.
Go ahead and dig on that fucking poseur we libs put in the WH, though.
Posted by: Janeane Garofalo at July 07, 2010 02:19 PM (gbCNS)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:20 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Jane D'oh
Heh.
and when you pull the string, Biden says: "Obama won the Iraq war!... punitive taxation is patriotic! smart ass..."
over and over. It's really annoying.
Posted by: Lemon Kitten at July 07, 2010 02:21 PM (0fzsA)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 06:20 PM (UOM4
Already been done. I got the Wookie Ewing action figure in the early 90s. She looks great in a Knicks uniform.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:21 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Jim Leahy at July 07, 2010 06:18 PM (NuAIL)
Let those refractory Americans try to come here.
We have a shitsnare laid out for them!
Posted by: Randy at July 07, 2010 02:21 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 06:20 PM (UOM4
$500 sneakers sold separately
Posted by: Announcer at July 07, 2010 02:22 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 02:24 PM (yQWNf)
Geez, Chuckie rides the same cheap K-Mart bicycle that JugEars sports.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur
Schumer took the bike out for a short spin down the block. Winded, he called for the limo to pick him up.
Posted by: Lemon Kitten at July 07, 2010 02:24 PM (0fzsA)
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 06:24 PM (yQWNf)
Great, now I'll have that song in my head all night.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:24 PM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:25 PM (0pYSi)
I'd discuss the possibilites for the Andi Sullivanblow up doll action figure, but it's probably best left for the ONT.
Probably the same for the Bill Clinton figure.
The possibilities for bawdiness are endless...
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:26 PM (P33XN)
I kinda like the idea of an Alvin Greene Doll. I'd match him up with my original 1954 GI Joe for an ass kicking contest. If that didn't get the job done, then he would be pitted against another doll, Joey Heatherton.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:27 PM (v1gw3)
...Stretch ArmFaceStrong of course.
(Madame Speaker's Private Jet™ with fully stocked bar sold separately)
Posted by: Alvin Greene's Marketing Manager at July 07, 2010 02:27 PM (W6FBg)
The Bruninator!
Her powers of hotness are a constant threat to Michelle-O
Posted by: Announcer at July 07, 2010 02:28 PM (BP6Z1)
The possibilities for bawdiness are endless...
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 06:26 PM (P33XN)
And Barney Frank, Al Gore, Elliot Spitzer, Gerry Studds and on and on and on...
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:28 PM (0pYSi)
O/T Anyone got an over/under on the chances of the Traitor-in-Chief showing up with his teleprompter on LeBron James's "hey, look at me, I'm a billionaire, yo" TV extravaganza tomorrow night?
Posted by: MrScribbler at July 07, 2010 02:28 PM (Ulu3i)
As it violates LucasFilm copyright, you are hereby enjoined from using the term "wookie" to describe any unauthorized merchandise offered for sale in the United States. Violation of this demand will result in severe legal penalties and civil liability.
And then you will blow me.
Posted by: Mel Gibson, newly hired LucasFilm legal department staffer at July 07, 2010 02:29 PM (P9+0W)
I like the idea of an Oprah doll, departing a Rolls Royce without panties and flashing her monkey.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:30 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Mel Gibson, newly hired LucasFilm legal department staffer at July 07, 2010 06:29 PM (P9+0W)
Hey 48%,
I'm gonna burn your house down.
But 1st you will blow me!
Posted by: Obumble the Merciful at July 07, 2010 02:31 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:31 PM (UOM48)
249 New Black Panther action figure. Comes with baton and BFF, Eric Holder.
And a mini box of Saltines.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:32 PM (zgZzy)
I like the idea of an Oprah doll, departing a Rolls Royce without panties and flashing hermonkey. gaping sunshot wound.
FTFY
Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 07, 2010 02:32 PM (yQWNf)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:32 PM (P33XN)
The Megyn Kelly doll. Comes with Sheppy Smith on all fours on a leash.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:32 PM (UOM48)
"...were he to win in November, would put him among the more unpredictable members of the senate."
Among the more unpredictable. Kind of sad that he wouldn't stand out more than that. Of course, in the House, he'd be pretty much in the mainstream of the Democratic caucus.
Posted by: OCBill at July 07, 2010 02:33 PM (rFipM)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:33 PM (P9+0W)
Would the Joe Biden doll have hair implants, fake teeth, and be prone to gaffs that makes a high school student laugh?
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:33 PM (v1gw3)
The Megyn Kelly doll. Comes with Sheppy Smith on all fours on a leash.
Schoolgirl uniform comes free of charge!
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:33 PM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Florida at July 07, 2010 04:43 PM (9Sbz+)
Oh. HELL. No.
Don't try to hang this one on me.
Posted by: NORTH Carolina at July 07, 2010 02:34 PM (Rwudm)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 06:32 PM (UOM48)
You morons can guess what my doll comes with right? Factor gear!
And A Bold Fresh Piece of a Blowhard. And luffa!
And my new dvd featuring Mark Lamont Hill and Alan Colmes making me look smart!
Posted by: Bill O'Reilly at July 07, 2010 02:36 PM (0pYSi)
Whereswalid.com is available. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Tenure Committee at July 07, 2010 02:36 PM (M9BNu)
The Megyn Kelly doll would wear librarian glasses and tell you to be quite...........so she can finish.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:36 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:37 PM (UOM48)
Oh. HELL. No.
Don't try to hang this one on me.
Posted by: NORTH Carolina at July 07, 2010 06:34 PM (Rwudm)
Who aire ewe??
Posted by: Bob Etheridge at July 07, 2010 02:37 PM (0pYSi)
263 The Rahm Emanuel action figure, comes wearing leotard, dead fish wrapped in newspaper under one arm, one hand raised in the middle finger "salute".
Matching yarmulke included . . . to only wear during photo ops.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:38 PM (zgZzy)
Whereswalid.com is available. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Tenure Committee at July 07, 2010 06:36 PM (M9BNu)
I could see it but there needs to be a time limit. You either find Walid in three minutes or the bomb goes off.
Posted by: WalrusRex at July 07, 2010 02:39 PM (xxgag)
The bobble-head Obama doll would be dressed in shorts, tank top, old fashioned high-top tennis shoes and a Superman logo on the chest.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:39 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:40 PM (UOM48)
267 The bobble-head Obama doll would be dressed in shorts, tank top, old fashioned high-top tennis shoes and a Superman logo on the chest.
Tight, Richard Simmons shorts.
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:40 PM (zgZzy)
The Alan Colmes action figure is dressed in a Batgirl outfit with pasty skin and a book titled, "Liberal Lies for the Masses."
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:42 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:42 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:42 PM (UOM48)
The Obama family doll collection, Kenyan edition. Features various thugs, layabouts and assorted despots. Comes complete with hut.
*crashed car with deadbeat dad figure optional
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:44 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:45 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 06:42 PM (P33XN)
Does it come with a holler?
Posted by: Bill Clinton at July 07, 2010 02:45 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:45 PM (zgZzy)
The Aunt Zeituni doll comes with ceremonial robes, a gourd of cow blood, dangling earrings of cow dung, a walking stick of elephant penis, and a copy of her expired entry visa to the United States.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:45 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 06:45 PM (zgZzy)
And a bottle of scotch.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:46 PM (0pYSi)
For a limited time, the Barack Hussein Obama Memorial Hospital is available. Granny figure included.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:46 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: sven10077 at July 07, 2010 02:48 PM (kq1lG)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 02:48 PM (Nr9jl)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:48 PM (P33XN)
The Ted Kennedy doll is complete with a miniature crypt, a 5th of Chivas Regal, Roses' Rosary, and a large bottle of Viagra for emergencies.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:48 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:49 PM (zgZzy)
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 06:39 PM (v1gw3)
--No, needs a big fat zero on his cheat
Posted by: logprof at July 07, 2010 02:50 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:51 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:51 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 02:51 PM (YVZlY)
284 Fish, you forgot his own spin on JFK's "eternal flame".....
Tedster's liver is a limitless supply of green energy.
Posted by: sven10077 at July 07, 2010 02:51 PM (kq1lG)
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 06:48 PM (v1gw3)
--I think you forgot the submersible Olds.
Posted by: logprof at July 07, 2010 02:52 PM (BP6Z1)
The Charles Krauthammer action figure is equipped with a rapier wit, rolling legs, and the ability to out-gun most liberals because it ain't a fair fight.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:52 PM (v1gw3)
John Edwards action figure. When you peel off the cheap Avery label on the package, it's actually My Little Pony figure purchased in bulk from the 99 Cent store.
When you pull the string the doll wails, "Why didn't you come to me like a fucking man and tell me I need to brush my hair?"
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:52 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 02:53 PM (zgZzy)
conscious, but incoherent - enemy of progressives, liberals, democrats, etc.. at July 07, 2010 06:51 PM (YVZlY)
ISLAMIC RAGE BOY!
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:53 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:54 PM (UOM48)
What really scares me is that the Dems so WANT DeMint to lose, I'd be willing to bet that the fraud in this particular race is rampant. Either that, or people will give him a "pity" vote because they figure everyone else is voting for DeMint and/or they think that DeMint is going to win by a huge margin.
I'm just sayin'....
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at July 07, 2010 02:55 PM (Nr9jl)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:56 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:56 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:56 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:56 PM (P33XN)
The Rosie O'Donnell doll comes equipped with plaid shirts, faded and holey blue jeans, a smart ass mouth, and a very large black dildo of indeterminate length.
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:56 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 02:57 PM (P9+0W)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 02:57 PM (UOM48)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 06:56 PM (P33XN)
--No, no, no!!
Posted by: logprof at July 07, 2010 02:58 PM (BP6Z1)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 02:58 PM (P33XN)
The Harry Reid action figure is vocal, and after you pull the cord on the back of his neck, Harry says, "this war is lost."
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 02:59 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 06:57 PM (UOM4
That is a specialty item do to the crazy shipping and handling fee.
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 02:59 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Cicero at July 07, 2010 02:59 PM (rMX2W)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at July 07, 2010 03:00 PM (zgZzy)
The Nancy Pelosi action figure is also vocal, and when you pull Nancy's chain, she says, "I am the man."
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 03:00 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Delta Smelt at July 07, 2010 03:01 PM (0pYSi)
Posted by: Wanna-be crazed sex poodle at July 07, 2010 03:01 PM (Ulu3i)
Actually, it only explodes when quality control in the factory opens sample boxes.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 07, 2010 03:01 PM (P9+0W)
The Senator Larry Craig action figure comes with a miniature airport bathroom, and the battery powered figure taps his toes to the sounds of ABBA's Waterloo!
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 03:03 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 07, 2010 03:04 PM (UOM48)
Pull the string on the Barbara Boxer doll and it snarls, "Call me ma'am" and doesn't stop until you dismember the doll and bury it in the garden.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 03:09 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Fish at July 07, 2010 03:09 PM (v1gw3)
Posted by: nickless at July 07, 2010 03:12 PM (MMC8r)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 03:13 PM (P33XN)
The Juan McCain doll comes with a sombrero and a pocket full of pesos*.
*vocal box says phrases, "You've nothing to fear from Barack Obama as president" and "Build the dang fence" in both Spanish and English.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at July 07, 2010 03:16 PM (P33XN)
Posted by: Jean at July 07, 2010 03:35 PM (CPefM)
Posted by: Reader CJ Burch says.... at July 07, 2010 03:42 PM (sJTmU)
Posted by: Milo at July 07, 2010 04:11 PM (Jqce/)
Posted by: Alvin Greene at July 07, 2010 04:12 PM (Ek/Oc)
Posted by: pc at July 07, 2010 04:33 PM (crDIp)
Posted by: Halichoeres bivittatus at July 07, 2010 07:12 PM (tU6k6)
Posted by: doom_n_gloom at July 08, 2010 05:10 AM (swBJS)
I was really hoping to come in here the morning after and find some Alvin Greene Action Figure spam.
You suck, spammers!
Posted by: reason at July 08, 2010 06:36 AM (F26eZ)
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Posted by: Rob Crawford at July 07, 2010 12:27 PM (ZJ/un)