Ace of Spades HQ

May 15, 2010

An Important Question...
— Monty

Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Posted by: Monty at 12:30 PM | Comments (406)
Post contains 32 words, total size 1 kb.

1 You may ignore this thread if you wish; I was just trying to see if I could "unbreak" it.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 12:31 PM (O3eFQ)

2 Would that be the Long Tall Shorty referred to by Long John Baldry?

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at May 15, 2010 12:31 PM (9Cooa)

3 yes, and this is the sound of one hand clapping.............

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at May 15, 2010 12:32 PM (JrRME)

4 9th!

Posted by: Ugly-robot-android guy at May 15, 2010 12:32 PM (6sKtn)

5 much wisdom, you have

Men have a penis; women have a va-gi-na

Posted by: yoda, drunk and crazy again at May 15, 2010 12:33 PM (JrRME)

6 Stop punching down, monty! Do I have to teach you fuckety fucks everything?!?!!!

Posted by: some ynot at May 15, 2010 12:34 PM (Kn9r7)

7 Larson E. Whipsnade's Circus wants a word with you.

Posted by: Simon at May 15, 2010 12:35 PM (Gdtid)

8 What do you get when you mix one thousand Irishmen, a hundred bottles of whiskey, ten thousand dollars, and a pair of dice?

Posted by: yoda, drunk and crazy again at May 15, 2010 12:35 PM (JrRME)

9 this is confoosing

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 12:36 PM (uFokq)

10 Only if there are an odd number of men. If there are an even number, they would be different people.

Posted by: Unifried at May 15, 2010 12:37 PM (UIB3A)

11 Just where does a recumbent tall man fit into this metaphysical didactic?

Posted by: ontherocks at May 15, 2010 12:37 PM (HBqDo)

12 This statement of Monty's is only true if "tall" and "short" are defined around the median of the distribution.

But "normally" (a little statistics pun there for the fellow maths people here), within at least one standard deviation of the bell curve on either end is another region which most people would see as "average".

"Tall" and "short" as adjectives should refer to the far right and left regions of the curve, and they will not meet.

Statistics FAIL

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:38 PM (qcgsP)

13 Am I the world's dumbest genius or the world's smartest idiot?

Posted by: nickless at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (MMC8r)

14

I'll have a tab of what Monty's dropping.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (t72+4)

15 Nope, it wouldn't necessarily be the same person. We need that parameters of that constitutes a "short man" and a "tall man" their are always other types of people like "Average men" etc.. so .. etc..

Say a "short mans" parameters are from 1 - 4'

Say a "tall man" parameters are from 7' - 10'

We have a gap of 3 feet..

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (Tfuib)

16 Unifried also fails, but on a practical rather than a semantic level. There's no way of running a snapshot of all the world's people to the nearest binary digit at any given time.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (qcgsP)

17 Why yes, Monty, it's intuitively obvious!

Here's my question -

If a tree falls in the forest, and it kills the only person, a Gaia-worshiping hippie, in the forest before it hits the ground, does it still make a sound?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (c0A3e)

Statistics FAIL

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 04:38 PM (qcgsP)

"Math is hard!!"

Posted by: Barbie, circa 1990, with X-rated subtext at May 15, 2010 12:40 PM (JrRME)

19 What is the sound of one hand fwapping?

Posted by: pascal at May 15, 2010 12:41 PM (4WbTI)

20 Short fucker better not touch my Zingers.

Posted by: Alex Jones at May 15, 2010 12:42 PM (qs11W)

21 Statistics FAIL It's actually a set-theory problem, not a statistical one. Like, "There must be one and only one shortest Mexican dog-groomer". This is true by definition, no matter how large or small the set.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 12:42 PM (O3eFQ)

22 that tallest "short man would be 4'

The shortest "tall man" would be 7'

not the same person.

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 12:42 PM (Tfuib)

23 Tfuib did better with post 15. He's defined "tall" and "short" as objective parameters based on the human genome. That's allowable...

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:43 PM (qcgsP)

24 Oh! i always thought she said, "Matt is hard!" no wonder sis liked her dolls. my bad!

Posted by: Jealous Ken at May 15, 2010 12:43 PM (6sKtn)

25 Am I the world's dumbest genius or the world's smartest idiot?

Posted by: nickless at May 15, 2010 04:40 PM (MMC8r)

The answer is equidistant between an oxymoron and a palindrome

Posted by: crazy drooling guy, talking British at May 15, 2010 12:43 PM (JrRME)

26 This is true by definition, no matter how large or small the set. Heh. So to speak. I made a funny!

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 12:43 PM (O3eFQ)

27 But Monty, "short" is only a SUBset of "not-tall". They are not equivalent.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:44 PM (qcgsP)

28 Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:42 PM (O3eFQ)

okay, if 'set-theory' is rhetoric

Posted by: crazy drooling guy, talking philosophy at May 15, 2010 12:45 PM (JrRME)

29 /speaking as a not-tall person myself. Don't call me Shorty! :^)

(Mind you, it could explain my attitude here...)

"Zimriel - the man who punches UP! 55% of the time"

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:45 PM (qcgsP)

30 What is the sound of one leg tingling?

Posted by: Chris Matthews at May 15, 2010 12:45 PM (c0A3e)

31 #30, is it like the sound of one pant leg creasing? I sometimes hear that when I turn on a WH press conference

Posted by: David Brooks at May 15, 2010 12:47 PM (qcgsP)

32 No, because the world's shortest tall man would eventually become so short that he would no longer be considered tall and the world's tallest short man would become so tall he would no longer be short.

So these two could never be the same person (unless of course they were the only person on earth.)

Posted by: mitchellvii@yahoo.com at May 15, 2010 12:48 PM (kEBiX)

33 They are not equivalent. Careful, now. Think in terms of Venn diagrams. We have "short", "shorter", "shortest", and "tall", "taller", "tallest" -- these "short" and "tall" groups do not overlap (though the subgroups can overlap with each other). But between "short" and "tall" we have "less-tall' and "less-short", in ever closer proxmitiy to each other. There is a point -- a single point -- were "less short" and "less tall" meet. In the same way that you will never find two human beings who are precisely the same height, there must be exactly one person who fits our description (though many may come very close).

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 12:48 PM (O3eFQ)

A few weeks ago the television show "The Amazing Race" had the worlds shortest and tallest man on consecutive weeks, both from China. My 7 year old daughter said she would love to meet both of them. I said, I'd like to meet the most average man, to which she replied..."I think that's you Daddy!" :-)

Posted by: MostlyRight -The Most Average Man In The World at May 15, 2010 12:48 PM (0aCXd)

35 Don't call me STUPID !!

and Plato IS Belgian............

Posted by: Otto ( Kevin Kline ) at May 15, 2010 12:48 PM (JrRME)

36 This gives me an idea, I used to tell the ladies that I have the world's largest micro-penis, but now I am going to say I have the world's smallest monster penis.

Are any of you ladies out there interested?

Posted by: Jumbo Shrimp at May 15, 2010 12:48 PM (iH+Tr)

37 I find this post unsettling.

Posted by: Long Tall Sally at May 15, 2010 12:49 PM (Kn9r7)

38 Heh, Allahpundit is stoked that the 'Cuda linked him

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 12:49 PM (+EGil)

39 I've found that shorting a tall man on Friday is a tall order, (as opposed to a short order, obviously).

Posted by: ontherocks at May 15, 2010 12:49 PM (HBqDo)

40 The world's tallest short man is 5'7". The world's shortest tall man is 5'8".

And that's why the Democrats will pick up eleventy-seven seats in November.

Posted by: fwapfwapdragon at May 15, 2010 12:50 PM (1fanL)

41

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

Posted by: Randy Newman at May 15, 2010 12:50 PM (t72+4)

42 OT, sharing a saturday laugh A tourist from the Midwest walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it. He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the bronze rat?" "Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat, $100 for the story," said the wise old Chinaman. The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story", he said. As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster. A couple blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing. Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward the Bay. After a couple more blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the THOUSANDS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay. Amazingly, the thousands of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat, and were all drowned. The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown. "Ahhh," said the owner, "You have come back for story?" "Nope," said the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze Democrat"

Posted by: palerider at May 15, 2010 12:51 PM (uQ4Oe)

43 Too confusing. How about a Venn diagram to make things easier?

Posted by: Ed Anger at May 15, 2010 12:51 PM (7+pP9)

44 Heh, Allahpundit is stoked that the 'Cuda linked him

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 04:49 PM (+EGil)

allah is the world's edgiest blogger who's a slave to political correctness, or he might the most politically correct edgy blogger. Either way, he's a dipshit.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 12:51 PM (Qp4DT)

45 @38
Why is AP's twitter picture a dog? I thought he was a cat person.

Posted by: Y-not at May 15, 2010 12:52 PM (Kn9r7)

46 Think of it this way: let's suppose you construct two vast gymnasiums: one to hold only short people, one to hold only tall people. All the people in the world will be separated into one of the two gymnasiums according to height. Now, it doesn't matter what height you pick as the cut-off between "short" and "tall" -- it can be completely arbitrary. When you're done sorting, you're going to have one -- and exactly one -- tallest member of the "short" group; and one -- and exactly one -- shortest member of the tall group. So one of these two people will be the one you want. But since they cannot be precisely the same height, one of them must be the true "tallest short person/shortest tall person".

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 12:54 PM (O3eFQ)

47 For men and for statisticians, 5'7"-5'10" is average height.

In womens' opinion, anything under 5'9" is short. (On average. But a well-documented one.)

But women see 6'+ as tall just like a statistician does.

Conclusion: to women, "short" isn't a physical / statistical attribute, it's a pejorative one. i.e., "too short for me".

But still, the sets of "short" and "tall" for women don't overlap either.

I doubt that anyone's personal sets of "short" and "tall" overlap.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:56 PM (qcgsP)

48 Now, it doesn't matter what height you pick as the cut-off between "short" and "tall" -- it can be completely arbitrary.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:54 PM (O3eFQ)

Aha! Your mistake is that short and tall are not defined by Dedekind cuts. But, allah is still a dipshit.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 12:57 PM (Qp4DT)

49 Is this a Kerri Strug joke?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 12:57 PM (wd0Iq)

50 Reminds me of: "what's the difference between a painter that paints like a child, and a child's painting?"

Posted by: Lady in Black (formerly Twinks because I learned the real meaning of the word) at May 15, 2010 12:58 PM (VYKgG)

51 By the looks of it Palin has AP's critter atwitter.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 15, 2010 12:58 PM (HBqDo)

52

There are advantages to being short.Why I could do magical things to you just standing up, iykwimaitykewim

Posted by: Mary Lou Rhetton at May 15, 2010 12:59 PM (t72+4)

53 let's suppose you construct two vast gymnasiums: one to hold only short people, one to hold only tall people. All the people in the world will be separated into one of the two gymnasiums according to height.

And I say that most people would refuse to put average people (however they define "average") into either gym. They'd want to keep the short gym for the pygmies and the tall gym for the masai.

I mean, if forced to play the game on your terms, you'd win, but you're playing Calvinball.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 12:59 PM (qcgsP)

54 Is this a Kerri Strug joke?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 04:57 PM (wd0Iq)

I still wince when I hear her name, thinking of that spill she took in the nationals. Worst thing I have ever seen.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 01:00 PM (Qp4DT)

55 It is not necessarily true, and in fact it's necessarily untrue. Being the world's "tallest ___ man" does not necessarily make that person a "tall man" Being a "short man" and a "tall man" are necessarily exclusive, or else the terms would have little meaning at all. Ergo, the world's tallest short man is not necessarily a tall man. In fact, he is necessarily not a tall man, if those categories are to mean anything. Because the world's tallest short man is a not a "tall man," he cannot be the world's shortest tall man.

Posted by: Daryl Herbert at May 15, 2010 01:00 PM (J6tw7)

56
Reminds me of: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 01:00 PM (Oxen1)

57 Y-not 45, I think it's supposed to symbolise Droopy, since his morphing from "trenchant satirist against Islam" to "pessimistic Eeyore with ambivalence toward the American Right".

At some point he's going to drop the "allah" from his nick.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:02 PM (qcgsP)

58 Is somebody off their meds?

Posted by: rockhead at May 15, 2010 01:02 PM (RykTt)

59 Your mistake is that short and tall are not defined by Dedekind cuts. It's not a mistake because the sorting algorithm is completely arbitrary. You can use whatever sorting technique you wish and the axiom will still be true. (Unless you can prove axiomatically that it is possible for two human beings to be exactly and precisely the same height.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:02 PM (O3eFQ)

Berkeley Breathed covered this years ago.

Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 15, 2010 01:03 PM (Wh0W+)

61 Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 04:51 PM (Qp4DT)

Yeah, I just thought it was funny that he's anti-Palin, or at least percieved that way (he seems to be warming towards her of late), and he's excited about getting linked by her.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 01:04 PM (+EGil)

62 Posted by: Y-not at May 15, 2010 04:52 PM (Kn9r7)

I think he picked it because the expression on the dog's face is so funny.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 01:05 PM (+EGil)

At some point he's going to drop the "allah" from his nick.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 05:02 PM (qcgsP)

If the "allah" didn't go when he was throwing a shitfit that a commenter on Hotair called the Indonesian Imbecile "Hussein" (and then have O'Reilly read it) then I don't think it's ever going to go.

BTW, the comment was from dogsoldier and it was pretty much on the mark - better than either allah's or ed's assessments during the campaign ... or after.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 01:05 PM (Qp4DT)

64 Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 05:04 PM (+EGil)

You should have seen how excited he was when Media Matters congratulated him on something stupid he'd said.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 01:06 PM (Qp4DT)

65 Reminds me of: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 05:00 PM (Oxen1)

One of my bosses has a sign on her desk that reads "I keep two magnums in my desk. One is a gun and I keep it loaded. The other one is a bottle and it keeps me loaded".

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at May 15, 2010 01:07 PM (+EGil)

I still wince when I hear her name, thinking of that spill she took in the nationals. Worst thing I have ever seen.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 05:00 PM (Qp4DT)

Now wait just a damn second.

Posted by: Joe Theismann at May 15, 2010 01:07 PM (1fanL)

67 Being a "short man" and a "tall man" are necessarily exclusive, or else the terms would have little meaning at all. This is very wrong. I am 5' 11". Among 5' 5" men I am very tall; among NBA players, I am very short indeed. Remember, my point is a set-theory (mathematical) one, not a biological or statistical one.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:07 PM (O3eFQ)

68 "I think he picked it because the expression on the dog's face is so funny." It's that cupcake-obsessed dog from "It's Me or the Dog". It was in a trance.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 01:08 PM (wd0Iq)

69
How come you can see a tree bark, but can't hear it and you can hear a dog bark, but can't see it?

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 01:08 PM (Oxen1)

70 Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Norman ... coordinate! Illogical... Norman ... coordinate! coordinate! coordinate!

Posted by: Moron # 386 at May 15, 2010 01:08 PM (sYxEE)

I still wince when I hear her name, thinking of that spill she took in the nationals. Worst thing I have ever seen.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 05:00 PM (Qp4DT)

Now wait just a damn second.

Posted by: Joe Theismann at May 15, 2010 05:07 PM (1fanL)

Wait'll you get a load of my sex tape.

Posted by: Sandra Bullock at May 15, 2010 01:09 PM (t72+4)

72 Reminds me of: I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 05:00 PM (Oxen1)

Is that you, Dr. Demento?

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 01:09 PM (1fanL)

73 31 #30, is it like the sound of one pant leg creasing? I sometimes hear that when I turn on a WH press conference Posted by: David Brooks at May 15, 2010 04:47 PM

I sit in the dressing room with my pants off to keep the perfect crease. I'm not certain that's the reason you and Matthews do that, David

Posted by: The Maestro at May 15, 2010 01:10 PM (sYxEE)

74 /b/tard: One of my bosses has a sign on her desk

We had managers like that on the Shell plant site when I did IT work for them. Ferocious bunch. I take it that if you're female and you're working with dangerous chemicals, and with the men who work with them, all day long then you learn to punch up.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:10 PM (qcgsP)

75 At this point Monty's just trolling. Well done, sir.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:11 PM (qcgsP)

76 Dog bark is ruff, or so I hear.

Posted by: ontherocks at May 15, 2010 01:12 PM (HBqDo)

77 Isn't it possible -- that the world's biggest small car and the world's smallest big car are one and the same car?

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 01:12 PM (Tfuib)

78 (Unless you can prove axiomatically that it is possible for two human beings to be exactly and precisely the same height.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 05:02 PM (O3eFQ)

Prove that it's possible, or prove that there are two human beings who are? Surely you aren't suggesting that it's impossible for two things to be the same length.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 01:12 PM (1fanL)

79 Why do guys always say they're going to take a shit but always leave it there? Does anyone actually give a shit?

Posted by: George Carlin at May 15, 2010 01:13 PM (sYxEE)

80 If Marlee Matlin is alone in her bedroom and she has an orgasm, did she make a sound?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 01:14 PM (sYxEE)

81

To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn.

Posted by: The Sphinx at May 15, 2010 01:14 PM (t72+4)

82 An Important Question...

Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Posted by: Monty at 04:30 PM

So the answer to your algorithmic question is "False"?

Or "Not True" or something like that?

Algorithmicly speaking?

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:15 PM (OCfDT)

83 What would happen if you put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room?

Posted by: Steven Wright at May 15, 2010 01:15 PM (sYxEE)

84 There's an episode of Little People Big World where the dwarf kid is playing in some little people basketball tournament and one of the other teams has a center who's at least 5'2" and clearly shouldn't be playing.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at May 15, 2010 01:15 PM (xCO0a)

85 There's an episode of Little People Big World

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at May 15, 2010 05:15 PM (xCO0a)

Man Card. Now. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 01:17 PM (1fanL)

86 What would happen if you put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room? In my experience, mold. I have both in my music room because I need the humidity to stay right around 50% year-round. I have to treat the window-sills with this fungicide gunk to keep mold and mildew from forming.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:17 PM (O3eFQ)

87
What would happen if you put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room?

Posted by: Steven Wright at May 15, 2010 05:15 PM (sYxEE)

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together,.........mass hysteria !

Posted by: Dr. Peter Venkman at May 15, 2010 01:18 PM (t72+4)

88 77 Isn't it possible -- that the world's biggest small car and the world's smallest big car are one and the same car? Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 05:12 PM (Tfuib) ---------------------------------------- NOPE! cars classifications have known parameters, like compact, economy, mid-size, luxury

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 01:19 PM (Tfuib)

89

He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions.

Posted by: The Sphinx at May 15, 2010 01:19 PM (t72+4)

90 What would happen if the Human Torch met Mr Freeze?

Posted by: Charles Comic Bookstore Johnson at May 15, 2010 01:19 PM (sYxEE)

91 How is this getting me closer to landing Juliet Huddy?

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 01:20 PM (S9AJM)

Ahem, Monty. *tugs pant-leg*

82 An Important Question...

Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Posted by: Monty at 04:30 PM

So the answer to your algorithmic question is "False"?

Or "Not True" or something like that?

Algorithmicly speaking?

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 05:15 PM (OCfDT)

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:20 PM (OCfDT)

93
If you put the gheyest straight man and the straightest ghey man in a room, how long before they started redecorating?

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 01:20 PM (Oxen1)

94 What's more dangerous to our nation, the most treasonous Republican or the most patriotic Democrat? Or, are they the same person?

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 15, 2010 01:20 PM (Qp4DT)

95 93
If you put the gheyest straight man and the straightest ghey man in a room, how long before they started redecorating?

Posted by: Atomic Roachat May 15, 2010 05:20 PM (Oxen1)

Now that right there is funny.

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:22 PM (OCfDT)

96 91 How is this getting me closer to landing Juliet Huddy?
Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 05:20 PM

Huddy, or Cuddy?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 01:22 PM (sYxEE)

97

When you care what is outside, what is inside cares for you.

Posted by: The Sphinx at May 15, 2010 01:22 PM (t72+4)

98 80 If Marlee Matlin is alone in her bedroom and she has an orgasm, did she make a sound?

In my experience, yes. yes she does.

Posted by: deaf but not dumb at May 15, 2010 01:23 PM (6sKtn)

99 Scotty, if we don't have warp speed in 4 minutes we're all dead

Posted by: James T Kirk at May 15, 2010 01:23 PM (sYxEE)

100 Ed: The question was phrased improperly, I admit. It should have been: "Axiom: There can be one and only one tallest short person; and one and only one shortest tall person; and that person is the same person." You may affirm or deny the axiom.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:24 PM (O3eFQ)

101 He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions. Posted by: The Sphinx at May 15, 2010 05:19 PM

In Russia, question asks YOU

Posted by: Vlad Putin at May 15, 2010 01:26 PM (sYxEE)

102

You're trapped in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Adam Gadahn and a liberal. You have a gun with only two bullets in it. What do you do?

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 01:26 PM (t72+4)

103 What would happen if you travelled back in time and raped yourself?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 01:27 PM (wd0Iq)

104 There is a point -- a single point -- were "less short" and "less tall" meet.

Burgess Meredith?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 15, 2010 01:28 PM (OkT2m)

105 Last week Rahm put me in a barrel and told me to piss in a corner

Still haven't figured that one out yet

Posted by: Joe the Biden at May 15, 2010 01:28 PM (sYxEE)

106
You're trapped in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Adam Gadahn and a liberal. You have a gun with only two bullets in it. What do you do?

Shoot the first two and watch the liberal shit himself to death at the mere sight of a gun.

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 01:30 PM (Oxen1)

107 100 The question was phrased improperly, I admit. It should have been: "Axiom: There can be one and only one tallest short person; and one and only one shortest tall person; and that person is the same person." You may affirm or deny the axiom.

Then I deny it, and I treat it as I treat the axiom "there is no number between 3 and 5".

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:30 PM (qcgsP)

108 103 What would happen if you travelled back in time and raped yourself?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 05:27 PM (wd0Iq)

--------------

Dick Cheney would applaud the effort.

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 01:30 PM (Tfuib)

109 You're trapped in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Adam Gadahn and a liberal. You have a gun with only two bullets in it. What do you do?

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 05:26 PM

Shoot Bin Laden, then ask Gadahn and the liberal to stand back to back

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 01:30 PM (sYxEE)

110 #102You're trapped in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Adam Gadahn and a liberal. You have a gun with only two bullets in it. What do you do?

Several solutions. One, line two of them up so that one shot kills both of them and use the other bullet on the remaining person. Two, line all of them up so that one shot kills them all (ala Indy in "The Last Crusade), and keep the other bullet as a souvenir. Three, what's wrong with bludgeoning them all to death?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 01:31 PM (c0A3e)

111
Shoot the first two and watch the liberal shit himself to death at the mere sight of a gun.

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 05:30 PM (Oxen1)

Wrong.

Shoot the liberal twice.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 01:31 PM (t72+4)

112 Huddy, or Cuddy?

Huddy.

Oh my oh yes.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 01:31 PM (S9AJM)

113 I mean, you could define a set which didn't include the number 4, but again, that's Calvinball. It's not a good-faith attempt to define a system helpful in the real world.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:31 PM (qcgsP)

114 Looking for "average" ?

Posted by: zxczxczxc at May 15, 2010 01:32 PM (Tfuib)

115

Uh, Monty, I'm going off of your comment #46. Since only one of them can be this "tallest short / shortest tall person", going off of your Venn diagram model, doesn't that mean either this one person is separated into a third separate Venn Diagram?

Or if not, that he (or she, wouldn't want to be sexist here!) is removed from one Venn and placed in the other. In which case doesn't the same sorting issue start all over?

Or am I just missing a fundamental point here?

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:33 PM (OCfDT)

116 but if going off the average model, he cant be the tallest, shortest, tall or small anything- he's purely average thereby negating any descriptive terms that try to place him on ends of a scale....

Posted by: CAC at May 15, 2010 01:34 PM (Gr1V1)

117 OT

The NY Times, socialism all the time. In a story about Thailand riots this line appears at the end.

Underlying the protests is a rising awareness among the poor of their rights and a demand for a greater share in the countryÂ’s wealth and political voice.

The "poor's rights" to a greater share in the country's wealth?

WTF? What editor let that propaganda get in a "NEWS" story?

We're not biased, really we're not? Yeah, right.

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 01:34 PM (2+9Yx)

118 It's not a good-faith attempt to define a system helpful in the real world. No one ever said that pure math had to be helpful in the real world. Quite often, it's not. Ever hear of Zeno's Paradox? Here's a simple test you can do at home, kids. Stand about a foot away from the wall. Now, step forward half the distance to the wall. You are now half a foot away from the wall. Step half the distance forward again. Again. Again. Pure math says that while you will get very very close to the wall, you will never actually reach it no matter how many times you step forward.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:35 PM (O3eFQ)

119 By the way Monty, I ate a crayon today. It tasted purple!!

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:35 PM (OCfDT)

120 Do you morons want to stay here, or go back to Wallbrook?

Posted by: Dr Bruner at May 15, 2010 01:36 PM (sYxEE)

121

Oh Oh Oh!

Isn't Zeno's paradox answered with calculus!?!? And thus, with this, not acutally a paradox anymore?!?!

Oh Oh Oh!

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:37 PM (OCfDT)

122 Zeno's Paradox assumes that space is continuous and, in fact, it is not. You eventually hit a distance ruled by the Uncertainty Principle.

Good Lord, man, I'm running circles around you here.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:37 PM (qcgsP)

123 wow Monty's post timing sucks

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 01:38 PM (PaMcq)

124 ... yeah, I should have quit when I hit "Post" on what became comment #75.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 01:38 PM (qcgsP)

125 Nobody pushes Ace down like he's a fat woman!

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 01:38 PM (PaMcq)

126

#118 its like the cup size parodox- a breast size can come along that is bigger than the last one you have seen but cannot remain for certain the biggest you will every see, because theoretically can always be one bigger in both numeric and geometric expansion.

Such a paradox is less frustrating than the 50% one though.

Posted by: my brain hurts at May 15, 2010 01:38 PM (Gr1V1)

127 #118 Here's a simple test you can do at home, kids. Stand about a foot away from the wall. Now, step forward half the distance to the wall. You are now half a foot away from the wall. Step half the distance forward again. Again. Again. Pure math says that while you will get very very close to the wall, you will never actually reach it no matter how many times you step forward.

I learned Zeno's Paradox from watching IQ.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 01:38 PM (c0A3e)

128 Here's a simple test you can do at home, kids. Stand about a foot away from the wall. Now, step forward half the distance to the wall. You are now half a foot away from the wall. Step half the distance forward again. Again. Again.

I tripped on the third move and now I have a drywall hole to repair.

Lesson: math can be dangerous and costly!

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 01:39 PM (S9AJM)

129 You're a park ranger on horseback and you see Sarah Jessica Parker running after a riderless horse.

1. You intercept the runaway horse and assist Ms Parker in getting back on

2. You head for the 3 dollar window and place your bet on Ms Parker

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 01:39 PM (sYxEE)

130 Here's a simple test you can do at home, kids. Stand about a foot away from the wall. Now, step forward half the distance to the wall. You are now half a foot away from the wall. Step half the distance forward again. Again. Again. Pure math says that while you will get very very close to the wall, you will never actually reach it no matter how many times you step forward.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 05:35 PM (O3eFQ)

You know there's a lower limit to length. Planck's length. So you can't infinitely divide lengths in half.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 01:39 PM (1fanL)

131 Or if not, that he (or she, wouldn't want to be sexist here!) is removed from one Venn and placed in the other. The intersection of the two sets results in a very tiny set of exactly one. Think of it that way. Only one person can belong to both sets at that level, logically speaking. (Again, unless you can also prove the axiom that it is possible for two people to be exactly and precisely the same height. My axiom presumes this to be untrue.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:40 PM (O3eFQ)

132
Nobody pushes Ace down like he's a fat woman!

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 05:38 PM (PaMcq)

Nobody puts acey in the corner.....NOBODY !!

Posted by: Johnny Castle at May 15, 2010 01:40 PM (t72+4)

133 128 Here's a simple test you can do at home, kids. Stand about a foot away from the wall. Now, step forward half the distance to the wall. You are now half a foot away from the wall. Step half the distance forward again. Again. Again.

I tripped on the third move and now I have a drywall hole to repair.

Lesson: math can be dangerous and costly!

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 05:39 PM (S9AJM)

Don't worry, I still have some more crayons. You can have one, if you like. They're tasty...

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:41 PM (OCfDT)

134

In answer to your question Monty.

Doesn't matter, I'm still keeping all the money because I'm a rat bastard.

Posted by: Charlie Crist at May 15, 2010 01:41 PM (CNU6g)

135 122 Zeno's Paradox assumes that space is continuous and, in fact, it is not. You eventually hit a distance ruled by the Uncertainty Principle.

Good Lord, man, I'm running circles around you here.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 15, 2010 05:37 PM (qcgsP)

---------------------

Hmmmmm.. Sounds like the X-wife's vagina..

Posted by: cxxcxcvxcv at May 15, 2010 01:41 PM (Tfuib)

136 You're in a room and in the room are Elvis, an extraterrestrial, Santa Claus, and an objective NY Times reporter....

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 01:42 PM (sYxEE)

137 Since a short person is below average height, the world's tallest short person would be a micron shorter than the median. The world's shortest tall person would be a micron taller than the median. There are probably at least a million men exactly tied with the median, making a huge gulf between the tallest runt and the shortest giant.

On an entirely unrelated note, do we have any morons from Philadelphia who can explain to me this City of Brotherly Love business? Even better, anyone connected with the University of Pennsylvania who can put me some knowledge about life as a Fighting Quaker?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 15, 2010 01:42 PM (a5ljo)

138 Lesson: math can be dangerous and costly! See, this is why engineers become engineers and not mathematicians! There's "mathematically true" and then there's "good enough for all practical purposes". The physical world turns on the latter, not the former.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:43 PM (O3eFQ)

139 Is Iron Man naked under the suit or does he wear underwear?

Posted by: George Costanza at May 15, 2010 01:43 PM (sYxEE)

140

OK, monty, I guess the point you are making is that where the set's intersect, there is only one person. Got it.

I got confused when you used the circus tent metaphore in #46 because I envisioned them separated, and thus with no area of intersection.

I think I got it.

Now about that calculus/Zeno thingy...

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:44 PM (OCfDT)

141 So you can't infinitely divide lengths in half. Sure you can...in abstract math. Posit the biggest number you can conceive of, and I can always add 1 to make it bigger. Phase space is infinite and unbounded.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:45 PM (O3eFQ)

142 What does god need with a starship?

Posted by: James T Kirk at May 15, 2010 01:45 PM (sYxEE)

143 holy moly, guys are writing all my new material!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at May 15, 2010 01:45 PM (PaMcq)

144
You're in a room and in the room are Elvis, an extraterrestrial, Santa Claus, and an objective NY Times reporter....

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 05:42 PM (sYxEE)

......The Aristocrats !

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 01:46 PM (t72+4)

145 Yeah, but isn't one of the thing that calculus er.. calculates is limits? Thus the answer to Zeno's paradox?

Posted by: Ed at May 15, 2010 01:46 PM (OCfDT)

146 Sure you can...in abstract math. Posit the biggest number you can conceive of, and I can always add 1 to make it bigger. Phase space is infinite and unbounded.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 05:45 PM (O3eFQ)

Careful you don't get sucked into a black hole. Great post, by the way.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 01:48 PM (1fanL)

147
If you kill a swarm of Africanized bees can you be charged with a hate crime?

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 15, 2010 01:48 PM (Oxen1)

148 I think I got it. It's really just a way of visualizing the person at the apex of the human height of the bell-curve. Mathematically, one and only one person can be at this apex. In my metaphor, only one person from each gymnasium could be marched out for the final measurement (the tallest of the "shorts" and the shortest of the "talls"). And -- using our arbitrary sorting algorithm -- one of these two people would "win" and be able to move freely among either gymnasium population (being both "short" and "tall" at the same time).

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 01:48 PM (O3eFQ)

149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 01:49 PM (sYxEE)

150 142 What does god need with a starship?

Not all gods are omnipresent.

/That movie sucked.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 01:50 PM (c0A3e)

151
One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 05:49 PM (sYxEE)

Dont look at me.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at May 15, 2010 01:50 PM (t72+4)

152 149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 05:49 PM

It's on the goddamn floor where you left it!

Posted by: Mrs Jupiter at May 15, 2010 01:51 PM (sYxEE)

153

I am the shortest white man and the tallest black man.

In other words, I am the Alpha and the Omega.

It's settled, and I need to get back to my Peruvian Flake and waffles.

Posted by: Barack the First at May 15, 2010 01:51 PM (CNU6g)

154 Could Obama find a socialist program so socialist even he cannot accept it?

Posted by: CAC at May 15, 2010 01:51 PM (Gr1V1)

155 149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

That belt was awfully ugly and didn't go well with your robe. I'll buy you another one, honey.

Posted by: Juno (sister/wife of Jupiter) at May 15, 2010 01:52 PM (c0A3e)

156 What happens if you're traveling faster than the speed of sound and you fart?

Posted by: Chuck Yeager at May 15, 2010 01:54 PM (sYxEE)

157

When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack.

Posted by: The Sphinx at May 15, 2010 01:54 PM (t72+4)

158

#149

My ring system has grown so large it cannot sustain itself, so naturally the rest of you need to start sacrificing.

Posted by: Saturn (aka the California State Government) at May 15, 2010 01:54 PM (Gr1V1)

159 Branes! Branes!!!

Posted by: zombie physicist at May 15, 2010 01:55 PM (7b1Uc)

160 153

I am the shortest white man and the tallest black man.

In other words, I am the Alpha and the Omega.

It's settled, and I need to get back to my Peruvian Flake and waffles.

Posted by: Barack the First at May 15, 2010 05:51 PM (CNU6g)

No, I think you should have said...

I am the blackest white man, and the whitest black man.

No, wait, that doesn't come out very well with the focus groups...

Posted by: David Axelrod at May 15, 2010 01:56 PM (OCfDT)

161 149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 05:49 PM

It was the bad crazy DENIALISTS !!! If we'd had windmills and carbon taxes, the belt would still be there

Posted by: Dr Charles Johson, Moonologist at May 15, 2010 01:56 PM (sYxEE)

162

Since Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into an ass, what would happen if your fart inverted?

Posted by: A fearful colon at May 15, 2010 01:57 PM (Gr1V1)

163 If you kill a swarm of Africanized bees can you be charged with a hate crime?
Yes. Because they're black and yellow and not all white.

Posted by: human rights commissioner at May 15, 2010 01:57 PM (7b1Uc)

164 Since Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into an ass, what would happen if your fart inverted? It would exist in a superposed state until it became actualized by being observed. (The farter might insist that it was not he who dealt it; that he who smelt it dealt it; but the observer could in justice respond that he who denied it, supplied it.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 02:01 PM (O3eFQ)

165 Lots of people are fucked up. Has anyone ever been fucked down?

Posted by: Inquiring Minds at May 15, 2010 02:01 PM (sYxEE)

166 We throw rice at American weddings. Do they throw hot dogs at Chinese weddings?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 02:03 PM (sYxEE)

167

Since Chuck Norris can kick a fart back into an ass, what would happen if your fart inverted?

Posted by: A fearful colon at May 15, 2010 05:57 PM (Gr1V1)

I had that happen once when I accidentally got a small Asian guy lodged up my ass at a Golden Corral when I accidentally sat on him. Lemme just say I cleared the place out and the surrounding five blocks too.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donkey at May 15, 2010 02:04 PM (t72+4)

168 Is there something so obvious I've heard of it?

Posted by: Charlie Gibson at May 15, 2010 02:04 PM (AMhst)

169
What happens if you're traveling faster than the speed of sound and you fart?
Were you talking with Charlie Rose at the time?

Posted by: Rahm Emanuel at May 15, 2010 02:04 PM (Oxen1)

170 Has anyone ever been fucked down? Well... I've been cheated. I've been mistreated. I've been put down. I've been pushed 'round. When will I be loved?

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 02:05 PM (O3eFQ)

171 They've made a movie about Secretariat and nobody even called my Johnson.

Posted by: 48%er at May 15, 2010 02:06 PM (gxpfq)

172

Lets suppose you are in an alternate universe and ate yourself until you disappeared.

Would you have to SHIT yourself back into existence in a universe that allowed self-disappearance to work?

Posted by: Harry Caray at May 15, 2010 02:06 PM (Gr1V1)

173 When you can take the pebble from my hand you will be ready.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at May 15, 2010 02:07 PM (rurh0)

174 When's Ace's ancestors defeated the Death Star on Endor, they had very primitive technology. How did they make it all the way to Earth?

Posted by: AD at May 15, 2010 02:07 PM (AMhst)

175 Why can't you tickle yourself?

Posted by: Another important question... at May 15, 2010 02:08 PM (uKraB)

176
What happens if you're traveling faster than the speed of sound and you fart?
Were you talking with Charlie Rose at the time?

Posted by: Rahm Emanuel at May 15, 2010 06:04 PM (Oxen1)

Speaking of, has anyone in history ever managed to stay awake the entire time his show is on? That guy has been putting me to sleep for over twenty years now.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 02:08 PM (t72+4)

177 If Chuck Norris was going to kick Michelle Obama's ass what size boot would he be using?

Posted by: Need To Know Basis at May 15, 2010 02:09 PM (CNU6g)

178 One of my cow-orkers, a stats guy, has a funny sign in his cube: "If you torture numbers enough, you can make them confess to anything."

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 02:12 PM (O3eFQ)

179 If there are only two subsets, tallest / shortest ... the height in between those two might be (say) 5'7.5".

So any man at that height is tallest and shortest.

But given that we vary in height from AM to PM, that would mean a multitude would hold that title at different times of day.

If measuring precisely, perhaps for milliseconds it would be only one man at a time.

But tall and short more normally would lie at the edges of the bell curve.

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 02:12 PM (X4Ife)

180
One of my cow-orkers, a stats guy, has a funny sign in his cube: "If you torture numbers enough, you can make them confess to anything."

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 06:12 PM (O3eFQ)

Did you go to Cornell too?

Posted by: Keith Olberman at May 15, 2010 02:13 PM (t72+4)

181 btw, did everyone read my succinct review of Iron Man 2? Iron Man 2 is The Office meets The Fantastic Four. 6/10 stars.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 02:13 PM (PaMcq)

182 Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Yes, and how many times must the cannonballs fly, before they're forever banned?

Posted by: Bob Dillweed at May 15, 2010 02:18 PM (0K3p3)

183 COW-orkers?

did you mean cow porkers?

I don't like to mix my meat like that ...

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 02:18 PM (X4Ife)

184 #38 I saw that and it made me laugh. I will confess that I would really like to have my doubts dispelled about whether she actually writes all of her Fb posts. Her writing, the writing is great and I find it somewhat difficult to reconcile her on FB and how she speaks.

Posted by: parisparamuss at May 15, 2010 02:18 PM (/EMDx)

185 How can it be possible that it took me 3 times reading that sentence to finally get it? I need to start drinking.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at May 15, 2010 02:19 PM (RZ8pf)

186 If your date doesn't have a ride home and your car isn't available, do you call a Screwdriver?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 02:24 PM (sYxEE)

187 First Dude..I looked like a genius until the last turn.

Posted by: 48%er at May 15, 2010 02:26 PM (gxpfq)

188 Methinks Monty did leave his python at home, today.

Posted by: TennDon at May 15, 2010 02:28 PM (o6Yv2)

189 Monty:

In the future, please post such queries long before or long after my second pain med dosage.

Posted by: Cowboy at May 15, 2010 02:29 PM (0Jyi8)

190

We drive on parkways, but park on driveways.

The surface of the Earth (a sphere) is unbounded but not finite.

From the Institute for Electrical Shocks and Psychic Surprises....

Posted by: Nino the Mind Bogglere at May 15, 2010 02:31 PM (sJTmU)

191 What good is a sundial if it sits in the shade?

Posted by: Leonard Nimoy at May 15, 2010 02:33 PM (Mmw0q)

192 If you can travel back in time, is there a you at that time there? Do you tell yourself not to bet on the Colts?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 02:33 PM (sYxEE)

193 That's unbounded but finite. Duh. Not such a mind-boggler after all....

Posted by: Nino the Mind Bogglere at May 15, 2010 02:33 PM (sJTmU)

194 When you consider how stupid the average person is, what's really scary is that half the people are stupider than that!

Posted by: George Carlin at May 15, 2010 02:34 PM (Mmw0q)

195 We drive on parkways, but park on driveways.

A lot of Koreans are named Park. Are any named Drive?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 02:34 PM (sYxEE)

196 Does the sun have a daddy?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 02:35 PM (sYxEE)

197 194 When you consider how stupid the average person is, what's really scary is that half the people are stupider than that!

Posted by: George Carlin at May 15, 2010 06:34 PM (Mmw0q)

Yup

Posted by: Teh 52% at May 15, 2010 02:36 PM (Mmw0q)

198 Booooyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Posted by: The Tall Man at May 15, 2010 02:37 PM (mUzMP)

199 The surface of the Earth (a sphere) is unbounded but not finite. Actually, it is finite but unbounded, as are all spheres. (This is why if you travel dead east on an exact geodesic, you will eventually return the same point you started from.) And the earth is not exactly a sphere; it is an oblate spheroid due to a slight bulging at the equator caused by the earth's rotation.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 02:37 PM (O3eFQ)

200 We drive on parkways, but park on driveways.

--Not to mention we pack suits in garment bags and garments in suitcases.

Posted by: logprof at May 15, 2010 02:39 PM (Mmw0q)

201 If there is no God, what are all those churches for?

And who is Jesus's dad?

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:40 PM (Mmw0q)

202 Is it because I'm a lesbian?

Posted by: Law and Order FAIL at May 15, 2010 02:41 PM (Mmw0q)

203 And the earth is not exactly a sphere; it is an oblate spheroid due to a slight bulging at the equator caused by the earth's rotation.
Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 06:37 PM

Because the earth isn't eating enough healthy fruits and vegetables. I will go and lecture it to lay off the french fries and cheeseburgers

Posted by: Michelle Obama at May 15, 2010 02:41 PM (sYxEE)

204 Last semester, I had the opportunity to teach Einstein's theories to a class. It's always the same, they nod their heads when you're talking about throwing a baseball on a moving train, but when you add the light of a candle, they make the universal "mind-blown" noise: "WO, Dude!"

Posted by: Cowboy at May 15, 2010 02:41 PM (0Jyi8)

205

Who was the first black man? That question really amazes me because I really love black people and all their blackiness.

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:42 PM (t72+4)

206 And the earth is not exactly a sphere; it is an oblate spheroid due to a slight bulging at the equator caused by the earth's rotation.
Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 06:37 PM

That does it! The whole world is on a celery stick diet until the entire planet gets rid of that bulge

Posted by: Nanny Bloomberg at May 15, 2010 02:43 PM (sYxEE)

207 Wow.

Really, really, really slow news day, huh?

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 15, 2010 02:44 PM (iBTj9)

208

If you dropped a penny, would Rahm Emanuel break the sound barrier bending over to pick it up?

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:44 PM (t72+4)

209 They say that today is the first day of the rest of your life, but when you think about it, every day is the first day of the rest of your life.

Posted by: Michael G. Scott at May 15, 2010 02:44 PM (Mmw0q)

210 Seriously, though... I asked this question a few months ago and never got a serious answer: Since no one has ever seen a baby parrot, how do we know they exist? And don't tell me a baby parrot is a parakeet because I looked it up.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 02:44 PM (tMSKg)

211 I love when they interview the jockeys and Baffert and all the owners stand around patronizingly grinning, like "what the fuck is he saying"?

Posted by: 48%er at May 15, 2010 02:45 PM (gxpfq)

212 The answer is no.

Posted by: Unruly at May 15, 2010 02:46 PM (SVZM2)

213 Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed your family?

Posted by: Andrew Bernard at May 15, 2010 02:46 PM (Mmw0q)

214 There isn't even any hockey on tonight.

Posted by: Waterhouse at May 15, 2010 02:46 PM (S9AJM)

215 What if your family don't like bread? What if they like, say, cigarettes?

Posted by: Fat Tony at May 15, 2010 02:47 PM (S9AJM)

216 152 149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 05:49 PM

It's on the goddamn floor where you left it!
Posted by: Mrs Jupiter

It has been found.

Posted by: sTevo at May 15, 2010 02:47 PM (zIUsq)

217 They say that today is the first day of the rest of your life,

Damn....and I slept til noon.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 15, 2010 02:47 PM (iBTj9)

218 If you're driving a car at the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on?

Posted by: Steven Wright at May 15, 2010 02:48 PM (gxpfq)

219 Seriously, though...

I asked this question a few months ago and never got a serious answer: Since no one has ever seen a baby parrot, how do we know they exist?

And don't tell me a baby parrot is a parakeet because I looked it up.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 06:44 PM (tMSKg)

--The main reason is that so few are bred in captivity, thus necessitating capturing adults in the wild. That's one reason so many species of parrot are endangered. It's not predation, disease or habitat loss: We're figuratively loving the critters toward extinction.

Posted by: logprof at May 15, 2010 02:48 PM (Mmw0q)

220 #218

You won't see them.

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 02:49 PM (2+9Yx)

221 213 Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed your family?

Posted by: Andrew Bernard at May 15, 2010 06:46 PM (Mmw0q)

I would not steal the bread, and I would not let my family go hungry.

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:50 PM (Mmw0q)

222 Monty, how is your statement different than "Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the largest rational number whose square is less than 2 and the smallest rational number whose square is less than 2 are one and the same number?"

Posted by: Ben Zeen (a pseudonym) at May 15, 2010 02:50 PM (i9icp)

223 186,000 Miles Per Second. It's not just a good idea - IT'S THE LAW.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at May 15, 2010 02:50 PM (iBTj9)

224 I asked this question a few months ago and never got a serious answer: Since no one has ever seen a baby parrot, how do we know they exist?

They're pining for the fjords

Posted by: John Cleese at May 15, 2010 02:51 PM (sYxEE)

225 can parrots really talk? Two worldly things always impress me no matter how many times I see it (or hear it). 1) a big airliner flying and b) talking birds, especially the ones with a smartass attitude, which is all of them.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 02:51 PM (Szkjn)

226 When I first discovered Youtube, I didn't for for five days. I did nothing! I watched "Cookie Monster sings Chocolate Rain" a thousand times!

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:51 PM (Mmw0q)

227 I beat my wife the other day...in a game of cards.

Posted by: sTevo at May 15, 2010 02:51 PM (zIUsq)

228 Hey there's Bobby Jindal on the news? Whatever happened to him?

Posted by: 48%er at May 15, 2010 02:52 PM (gxpfq)

229 If you're driving a car at the speed of light, what happens when you turn the headlights on? Do you mean you, the driver, or some observer outside the car? Is the observer moving relative to the car, or standing still? And what is the car traveling at light speed relative to?

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 02:52 PM (O3eFQ)

230 maybe that's why I like parrot jokes so much...I find them believable.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 02:52 PM (Szkjn)

231

I am so glad Dunder Mifflin decided to put a branch here in Scranton. I really love Pollocks and the rustic beauty of the place.

I havent seen this many skis.....well....since the last time I went skiing.

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:53 PM (t72+4)

232 213 Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed your family?

Posted by: Andrew Bernard at May 15, 2010 06:46 PM (Mmw0q)

That's a bogus question because it's not your family, but rather you're being cuckolded by a smarter, stronger male.

Posted by: Dwight Schrute at May 15, 2010 02:54 PM (Mmw0q)

233 It's a fucking joke, people! No wonder I'm not big anymore. Try this: Hickory Dickory Dock. The bitch was...

Posted by: Steven Wright at May 15, 2010 02:56 PM (gxpfq)

234

Never eat anything crunchy when you're hiding in an attic from the Germans. That is one of my most favorite Anne Frank quotes.

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 02:57 PM (t72+4)

235 AOS: Where the world's most brilliant morons gather.

Posted by: Unruly at May 15, 2010 02:58 PM (SVZM2)

236
Would you steal a loaf of bread to feed your family?
Naw, I get mine from Obama's stash.

Posted by: Welfare Queen at May 15, 2010 02:58 PM (Oxen1)

237 235 AOS: Where the world's most brilliant morons gather.

Posted by: Unruly at May 15, 2010 06:58 PM (SVZM2)

Thank you. Took Intro to Philosophy twice, no big deal.

Posted by: Andy Bernard at May 15, 2010 02:59 PM (Mmw0q)

238 okay, let's say I got a net...and a boat. And I happen to catch a baby dolphin. Can I take that dolphin to a lake and dump it in there? You know, for shits and giggles.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:00 PM (tMSKg)

239 "It's the Plumber!"

Posted by: parrot at May 15, 2010 03:03 PM (bsTaG)

240
*puts on Kangol beret*

I am now......

Date Mike !

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 03:04 PM (t72+4)

241 You ever want to put an alligator and a dolphin together in a pool? How about an alligator and a killah whale and a killer-whale's trainer?

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:04 PM (tMSKg)

242 Do you mean you, the driver, or some observer outside the car? Is the observer moving relative to the car, or standing still? And what is the car traveling at light speed relative to?
Posted by: Monty

One thing is certain: some observer outside the car will say "what the fuck was that!"

Posted by: sTevo at May 15, 2010 03:05 PM (zIUsq)

243 What will happen if Death dies?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 03:05 PM (sYxEE)

244 Where are we at in society today?

Posted by: Mike Gundy at May 15, 2010 03:06 PM (Mmw0q)

245 Can a Killer Whale ever get a fair and impartial jury?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 03:08 PM (sYxEE)

246 My drool cup runneth over.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 03:09 PM (B1D6G)

247

Suppose you went back in time.... say a few days and had to fight yourself to the death? What moves would you use to gain the upper hand since your other self would probably contemplate every move you would make beforehand and counter it ?

I'm thinking about that one time on Piper's Pits where Roddy Piper knocked Jimmy Snuka out with a coconut. I dont think I would see that one coming.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:09 PM (t72+4)

248 Can a Killer Whale ever get a fair and impartial jury?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 07:08 PM (sYxEE)

He thinks he has problems.

Posted by: Ass-Schtupping Marmot at May 15, 2010 03:10 PM (qXfN8)

249 yes... a jury of parrots

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:10 PM (tMSKg)

250 My drool cup runneth over.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 07:09 PM (B1D6G)

There's a spot open, my friend.

Posted by: Ruth Bader-Ginsburg at May 15, 2010 03:11 PM (qXfN8)

251 Where do all the missing socks in the dryer go?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 03:11 PM (sYxEE)

252 Is snapdragon the smartest freelance troll, or the dumbest Axelrod troll?

Posted by: crap flagon at May 15, 2010 03:12 PM (Mmw0q)

253 How can you trust a pig when you know he'll squeal?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 03:13 PM (sYxEE)

254 Where do all the missing socks in the dryer go?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 07:11 PM (sYxEE)

The Hosone Layer

Posted by: Sniglets™ at May 15, 2010 03:14 PM (Mmw0q)

255 I wonder how many eyelashes the average person gets stuck behind their eyes in a lifetime? You know you move your couch and see dust and lint? I wonder if we have a bunch of eyelashes in a corner behind our eyeballs.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:14 PM (Szkjn)

256 I used to date a girl who was crazy-good at abstract mathematics stuff. (Oddly, she ended up in marketing or something. Pity.) She was the first one who pushed Hofstadter's Godel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid on me. For a while in college, I become completely immersed in stuff like cellular automata and Riemann topographies. Ultimately, though, I just didn't have the level of smarts it takes to do good work in that field. I was interested in it, but I wasn't good at it. (While she, on the other hand, was a natural at it but chose to do something else. It ain't fair, I tells ya!)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:15 PM (O3eFQ)

257 AVON lady! Ding dong!

What's up with that?

Posted by: Cliff Claven at May 15, 2010 03:17 PM (Mmw0q)

258 In the fabric of space-time continuum, theoretically time can be bent.

Does it ever get a perfect crease?

Posted by: David Brooks at May 15, 2010 03:18 PM (sYxEE)

259

Mr. Whoopi.

I don't want this to sound insensitive, but have you been drinking?

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 03:18 PM (B1D6G)

260 wow that's sexy

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:18 PM (tMSKg)

261 Give me the answer Monty or the bunny gets it.

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:19 PM (QuP9W)

262 Is there anything we DON'T know?

Posted by: Celebrities at May 15, 2010 03:19 PM (sYxEE)

263

I remember this one time when a Chinese container ship full of department store mannequins sunk in the South Pacific.

What a cruel and insensitive joke that was.

Posted by: A Shark at May 15, 2010 03:21 PM (t72+4)

264 Give me the answer Monty or the bunny gets it. Damn you, sir, and your rabbit-threatening ways! Have at you!

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:21 PM (O3eFQ)

265 When Carly Simon was young, this was asked but never answered;

Is she a beautiful ugly woman or an ugly beautiful woman?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 03:22 PM (sYxEE)

266 You think you are soooo smart Monty. How about this?

How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Answer me that me Mr. Montypants.

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:24 PM (QuP9W)

267 the same can be asked of Sarah Jessica Parker

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:25 PM (Szkjn)

268

Do you think Sandy Duncan has ever popped her glass eye out and let somebody schtup her there?

Just asking questions here.

Posted by: Michael Scott at May 15, 2010 03:25 PM (t72+4)

269 You goys watch FRINGE? It's like the X-Files but good.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:25 PM (Szkjn)

270 Anyway, there's a blond chick, Anna Torv?, on Fringe and she's really hot one minute and then kinda plain and masculine the next.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:26 PM (tMSKg)

271 I often wonder what would happen if I ate a giant bag of fingernails.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at May 15, 2010 03:29 PM (wd0Iq)

272 149 One of my goddamn belts is missing. Who took it!

One of Jupiter's Belts is Missing

Posted by: Jupiter at May 15, 2010 05:49 PM

I haven't seen it, why do you ask

Posted by: David Carradine at May 15, 2010 03:29 PM (sYxEE)

273 Is she a beautiful ugly woman or an ugly beautiful woman?

Posted by: kbdabear at May 15, 2010 07:22 PM (sYxEE)

She's a strikingly ugly woman. Or an ugly striking woman.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 03:29 PM (1fanL)

274 I have both in my music room

Where the hell to you live Monty, Versailles?

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:29 PM (QuP9W)

275 How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Ahem! If a woodchuck could chuck wood, a woodchuck would chuck a lot of wood! Alternatively: The chucking capacity of species Marmota Monax is predicated entirely upon the chucking ability of said rodent, with the upper bound being determined by the bone-density/muscle-mass involved in chucking activity for a given work unit per time unit.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:30 PM (O3eFQ)

276 How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Answer me that me Mr. Montypants.

Pics of the Math Chick's tits would be good, too.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 15, 2010 03:30 PM (qXfN8)

277 270
Anyway, there's a blond chick, Anna Torv?, on Fringe and she's really hot one minute and then kinda plain and masculine the next. Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 07:26 PM

She's a Two Face!

Posted by: Jerry Seinfeld at May 15, 2010 03:31 PM (sYxEE)

278 For something to be tall, you need something standard to compare it to. Same thing with short. Something that is not tall does not make it short. Something that is not short does not make it tall. The shortest tall person is the minimum height one needs to be considered taller than the standard. Likewise, the tallest short person is the maximum height one needs to be considered shorter than the standard. Therefore, the shortest tall person and the tallest short person are not the same person.

Posted by: hadsil at May 15, 2010 03:31 PM (rksBt)

279

She's a strikingly ugly woman. Or an ugly striking woman.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 07:29 PM (1fanL)

I could strike an ugly woman right now.

Posted by: Ike Turner at May 15, 2010 03:31 PM (qXfN8)

280 Alternatively: The chucking capacity of species Marmota Monax is predicated entirely upon the chucking ability of said rodent, with the upper bound being determined by the bone-density/muscle-mass involved in chucking activity for a given work unit per time unit.

And turnips take out the gaminess.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 15, 2010 03:32 PM (qXfN8)

281

I could strike an ugly woman right now.

Posted by: Ike Turner at May 15, 2010 07:31 PM (qXfN

That would be cruel. But I could hit an ugly woman right now. Depending on how ugly. Like Carly Simon ugly.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 03:32 PM (1fanL)

282 I was told there would be no maths.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 03:32 PM (W396d)

283
I have both in my music room

Where the hell to you live Monty, Versailles?

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 07:29 PM (QuP9W)

Music room? Who the hell is Monty anyway, John fucking Barrymore with a smoking jacket on ?

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:33 PM (t72+4)

284 I'M CUTTING OFF PHYLLIS'S HEAD WITH A CHAINSAW RIGHT NOW!

Posted by: Drew Bernard at May 15, 2010 03:33 PM (1fanL)

285

What's the sound of one hand clapping?

It depends on which hand.

The left one goes "cl"

The right one goes "ap"

Posted by: Aaron at May 15, 2010 03:34 PM (XUIJ5)

286 Who the hell is Monty anyway, John fucking Barrymore with a smoking jacket on ?

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 07:33 PM (t72+4)

I thought he was Bernard Law Montgomery.

Posted by: Drew Bernard at May 15, 2010 03:34 PM (1fanL)

287

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 03:35 PM (1fanL)

288 Herr,
Am I the Math Chick you are talking about?

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:36 PM (QuP9W)

289 Has someone cloned wicked pinto and unleashed the clones on this thread?

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 03:36 PM (B1D6G)

290 Isn't it possible -- indeed, necessarily true -- that the world's tallest short man and the world's shortest tall man are one and the same person?

Is the function "height" continuous between the outer bounds of "tall" and "short"?

The correct answer is there's not enough information to answer the question. Depending on how the function "height" is defined, the answer could be either yes or no. If height is continuous, then yes, if noncontinuous, then no.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at May 15, 2010 03:36 PM (DHgVp)

291 I suppose that would be the long and the short of it....

Posted by: Halfsek at May 15, 2010 03:37 PM (62hQJ)

292 268 It's supposedly urban legend that she has a glass eye. Lot of people have said Gordon Brown only has 1 eye as well, but all we know is that he completely lost his sight in 1 eye. Even The Telegraph is contradictory on this point.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 03:37 PM (W396d)

293 Herr,
Am I the Math Chick you are talking about?

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 07:36 PM (QuP9W)

Sure. Why not?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 15, 2010 03:37 PM (qXfN8)

294 You are in rare form Herr.

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:38 PM (QuP9W)

295 Am I the Math Chick you are talking about?

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 07:36 PM (QuP9W)

If you don't know if you're the Math Chick, you're not the Math Chick.

_{Unless you want to supply pics.}

Posted by: FUBAR at May 15, 2010 03:40 PM (1fanL)

296 FUBAR I never finished my degree in Math so I could be or couldn't be.

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:40 PM (QuP9W)

297 An Important Question...
When will Ace wake up and start blogging?

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 03:41 PM (2+9Yx)

298 (You know, I have to say: for a test post meant to fix the broken comments, this thread turned out to be pretty fun!)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:41 PM (O3eFQ)

299 Herr already has pics.

Posted by: mpfs at May 15, 2010 03:42 PM (QuP9W)

300 297 An Important Question...
When will Ace wake up and start blogging?

I have Tuesday, 2pm.

Posted by: huerfano at May 15, 2010 03:43 PM (OFSgm)

301 When will Ace wake up and start blogging?

When the sun goes down is usually when I start my day, then I make sure I'm back inside before the sun rises.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at May 15, 2010 03:43 PM (DHgVp)

302 Well someone on the ONT the other night said. "racecar spelled backwards spells". What? I didnt know that.

Posted by: Racefan at May 15, 2010 03:45 PM (GZXdi)

303
(You know, I have to say: for a test post meant to fix the broken comments, this thread turned out to be pretty fun!)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 07:41 PM (O3eFQ)

You did good here Monty. I havent had this much fun on here in a good while.

You're turning out to be one fine cob-logger.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:45 PM (t72+4)

304 hadsil: Again, you're thinking as a statistician, not a set-theorist. I am giving you only two sorting-buckets: "tall" and "short". You may apply whatever sorting criteria you wish to put people into one of the two areas. At the end of the initial tall/short sorting, the following condition will exist: in the "short" group there will be a tallest person; and in the "tall" group there will be a shortest person. We apply our sorting algorithm (whatever it might be) to those two people and come up with one (and only one) "winner". It's a pure-math problem, a set-theory problem, not a statistics problem. (Choosing this example probably confused things more than clarified them, but I couldn't come up with a better example on short notice.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:46 PM (O3eFQ)

305 racefan spelled backwards spell NAFeCAR

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 03:46 PM (B1D6G)

306
An Important Question...
When will Ace wake up and start blogging?

*ahem*

Post directly below this one.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:46 PM (t72+4)

307 When will Ace wake up and start blogging?

Maybe we should let him sleep. He was actually quite prolific this week.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 03:47 PM (554T5)

308 OT ... YEP I AM PISSED .. rant on ... If you didn't think it before ... I am here to tell you ... FEMA hates white people ... yep .. if you are an insurance-paying regular citizen they have nothing to offer you ... oh, wait, your insurance doesn't cover anything ... yep, still cannot help you ... cuz .. you know ... your "type" doesn't help our image .. cuz .. you know .. we look much better if we are helping black people who live in the projects and cannot help themselves ... oh, wait ... you mean helping themselves other than just being third and fourth generations of being on welfare and not paying taxes or what? ... WELL YOU ARE A RACISTS MOTHERFUCKER FOR EVEN IMPLYING THAT ... fuck you .. you asshole republican or whatever you are ... Tennessee? ... right ... well, you see Tennessee is a red state and we cannot help you there ... oh, wait ... there is a small pocket of blue democrats (blacks) in Nashville and Memphis ... I guess we can help them ... but you other motherfucking bitter clingers who have your church helping you .. well ... how can I say this ... FUCK YOU. WE WON!!!!

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 03:49 PM (sH+SG)

309 You ever listen to a Boz Scaggs album and then want to go next door and strangle your neighbor?

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 03:51 PM (Szkjn)

310 For those comp-sci folks out there, what I've just described is a variant of the binary search algorithm. It's a very slow but accurate way to find a value in a large search set.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 03:51 PM (O3eFQ)

311 How do you feel?

Posted by: Spock's Testing Computer at May 15, 2010 03:53 PM (sYxEE)

312 Michael Scott@268: Is that where the phrase "Socket to me" comes from?

Or should I say comes to?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at May 15, 2010 03:55 PM (a5ljo)

313
You ever listen to a Boz Scaggs album and then want to go next door and strangle your neighbor?

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 07:51 PM (Szkjn)

Oh C'mon, Lido Shuffle is one of the best songs ever, right up there with Leo Sayer's "I Love You More Than I Can Say".

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:55 PM (t72+4)

314 Monty is that similar to an iteration program?

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 03:56 PM (B1D6G)

315 I wish I knew how to link without people having to paste ... but I do not .. anyway ... I am trying to chill and drink a few beers and I apologize for my rant above .. Shine on You Crazy Diamond Pink Floyd ... dang ... hard to watch stuff just float away ... but we are strong ... oh, and if I have not said it today ... fuck Obama ... and Shelly ... his beard ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyqgjCKm9nQ

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 03:58 PM (sH+SG)

316

I wish I knew how to link without people having to paste ... but I do not .. anyway ... I am trying to chill and drink a few beers and I apologize for my rant above ..

Hey, fuck em' right. What ever doesnt kill us only makes us stronger.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 03:59 PM (t72+4)

317 305 racefan spelled backwards spell NAFeCAR

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 07:46 PM (B1D6G)

...................

see, you got it wrong........... it spells titties and beer...........

Posted by: Racefan at May 15, 2010 04:00 PM (GZXdi)

318 Just saw the story about Jupiter losing its belt, albeit temporarily. Also great segment w/ Dr K blasting Obama's response to the BP situation. Considering these were most likely already discussed, I got nothin'.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 04:02 PM (W396d)

319 Monty is that similar to an iteration program? Many search/sort algorithms are iterative. Is that what you mean? Donald Knuth is pretty much the Founding Father of this area of computer science; back in Ye Olden Tyme I practically lived in his books.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:04 PM (O3eFQ)

320 as a pure set theory problem, you can't have one item in both sets, can you?

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 04:05 PM (X4Ife)

321

For the record, the answer is yes and the proof is due to linear programming duality.

But I guess the thread has gone too far afield by now.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 15, 2010 04:05 PM (Vo2Ef)

322 Sometimes late at night I want to start my car and connect a tube from the tailpipe to my neighbor's window.

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 04:06 PM (tMSKg)

323 Wait. Am I doing this wrong? Was I supposed to put it in the form of a question?

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 04:07 PM (tMSKg)

324

O/T, on Nat Geo they're doing a show on the Bugatti Veyron, my next car.

Gotta go, now. I have a date with Galadriel.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 15, 2010 04:07 PM (htCuh)

325
You got a cob-logger gig for this tripe?

huh

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:07 PM (P0u2c)

326 Just saw the story about Jupiter losing its belt, albeit temporarily.

Trust us, it's not temporary.

Posted by: The Klingons & The Borg at May 15, 2010 04:08 PM (554T5)

327 as a pure set theory problem, you can't have one item in both sets, can you? Sure you can. Think of a Venn diagram -- the union of the two sets is where this one person exists. (It's just that the union point contains only one person). Granted, there is something of a fallacy in the way I've described things: I've taken the tallest of the "shorts" and the shortest of the "talls", but how do I decide who 'wins"? It's my algorithm, not the height of the two people, that determines the "winner". In that sense, the outcome is imposed rather than arrived at. But this is an inherent property of set-based groupings: we must concoct arbitrary sorting algorithms before we can find our "target". (Binary searches only work on sorted groups, remember.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:09 PM (O3eFQ)

328 42

Posted by: garrett at May 15, 2010 04:10 PM (bsTaG)

329
Just saw the story about Jupiter losing its belt, albeit temporarily.

Trust us, it's not temporary.

Posted by: The Klingons & The Borg at May 15, 2010 08:08 PM (554T5)

Not to mention Voyager 2 sending back indecipherable commo since the end of April?

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:10 PM (P0u2c)

330
You got a cob-logger gig for this tripe?

huh

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 08:07 PM (P0u2c)

H8terade? You seem a bit parched.

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 04:11 PM (t72+4)

331 I am a one, you are a zero, and never the twain shall meet.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 04:11 PM (554T5)

332 326 You were actually successful this time?

But no, even while it's 2010, the process has happened before. It's a phenomenon called South Equatorial Belt Distrurbance, and it happens every three to fifteen years. The dark reddish brownÂ—caused by sulfur and phosphorous mixed with ammonia crystals at 108 degrees below zeroÂ—fades away. At the same time, the Great Red SpotÂ—a fiery anticyclonic storm that can reach 40,000 kilometers in diameterÂ—gets darker.

But don't worry. The naked Jupiter will regain its belt soon. If you have a telescope, you will be able to see it during the next few weeks.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 04:11 PM (W396d)

333 Only true if the scale of short to tall goes directly, one point to the next, from short to tall, but this is not ordinary usage. A person would not be considered short without being at least one standard deviation below the mean, and similarly for tall, so there is at least two sigma between short and tall. Sorry Sherlock.

Posted by: Alec Rawls at May 15, 2010 04:12 PM (57sG0)

334 The Next Time You Think You're Having A Bad Day

Posted by: newser at May 15, 2010 04:12 PM (X2eW0)

335
linear programming duality.

WTH is that crap?

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:12 PM (P0u2c)

336 316 - Blazer .. yep ... we are strong and we will remember ... we need to just get together and get these people out of office ... this flood thing is just a gnat .. you know .. something that just gets in your face and you swat it away ... material things are not that important ... we have family and that is what is most important ... my sister lost everything in Katrina ... so now we have something to help each other get over ... she knows the emotional stuff that comes up ... I just don't know where to turn my energy now to make a difference as the last election turned my stomach and my wallet against the dems .. I don't know what do to with my blue dog rep ... he is favored to win again ... I must focus I guess on other races to make a difference ... but I will and my other focus is on Sharia creeping ... I will make this my issue going forward .. I would rather live out of my car than to bow to islamic law and if anyone thinks I am being an extremist I don't care .. I see what is happening in other parts of the world and I know that it could happen here ... we will not be pushed to the side ... ever ... my father fought too hard for this country ... he is dead now but I will not let him down ... I will continue the fight ...

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:12 PM (sH+SG)

337 Not to mention Voyager 2 sending back indecipherable commo since the end of April?

Really? Where are the Windtalkers now, when we need them?

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 04:13 PM (554T5)

338
You seem a bit parched.

What, we can't pile on Monty now that he has the keys to the booze cabinet? The Hell, I say. It's open season on every misspelling, comma fault, and dangling gerund he inflicts upon us.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:14 PM (P0u2c)

339

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 08:04 PM (O3eFQ)

I don't know enough about the subject to comment. I did a very limited amount of FORTRAN programing back in the 70s and used some iteration to get as close as possible to an acceptible answer on a factory balance.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 04:15 PM (B1D6G)

340 OK Monty, I'll take your word for it ..

and stick with my earlier theory that because people vary in height, different people will pass through that tallest/shortest median point for zero time.

But if the sets can overlap, the tallest short person could also be the tallest tall person.

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 04:15 PM (X4Ife)

341 You got a cob-logger gig for this tripe? Never fear. I'll be back to "101 Ways to Fricasee A Dead Hobo" soon enough. (Braised hobo shank, garlic potatoes, and a nice dry red wine? To die for, if I may make a small bon mot.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:15 PM (O3eFQ)

342 I mean people vary in height from morning to evening, so many will pass through the median point

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 04:16 PM (X4Ife)

343 Great song ... by Alvin Lee from a friend before he decided to go to the other side ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPLi0dq0tOk Can someone tell me how to do the link thing so you do not have to paste?

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:16 PM (sH+SG)

344
so many will pass through the median point

HOW many will pass?

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:18 PM (P0u2c)

345 Since this thread is er wandering.

I got to talk with Ted Nugent at the NRA convention. What a cool dude. What you see on TV is what you get and he is a true believer.

Did I mention his wife is SMOKING HOT?

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 04:18 PM (2+9Yx)

346 I did a very limited amount of FORTRAN programing back in the 70s

I started out programming in assembly language, not at all by choice.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 04:18 PM (554T5)

347
I'll be back to "101 Ways to Fricasee A Dead Hobo" soon enough.

That's what I'm talkin' about. Nobody can cob a log like Monty.

_{'sept maybe laura...}

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:19 PM (P0u2c)

348 bill: You're not wrong, actually. My point is that only one person would satisfy the criteria at any given point in time, regardless of our sorting criteria. We can sort our baskets however we wish, remember, but I'm only giving you two of them: short, and tall. And at the end of the sort, you're going to have a tallest "short" guy and a shortest "tall" guy. At that point we compare them and declare one the winner (based on our purely arbitrary standard, obviously).

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:19 PM (O3eFQ)

349
You seem a bit parched.

What, we can't pile on Monty now that he has the keys to the booze cabinet? The Hell, I say. It's open season on every misspelling, comma fault, and dangling gerund he inflicts upon us.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 08:14 PM (P0u2c)

And looooooooooooooooong comment posts. One time I began reading one of his comments as a cherubic 30 something and before I got to the end of it I was a dried up skeleton lying beside the Dead Sea Scrolls..

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 04:21 PM (t72+4)

350 Think I am lying?

http://tinyurl.com/259xu9h

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 04:21 PM (2+9Yx)

351
only one person would satisfy the criteria at any given point in time

Doesn't quantum theory tell us that our very act of observing and measuring the shortest giant and tallest midget affects the outcome of said measurement? How can we even be sure of the results?

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:22 PM (P0u2c)

352

I am astonished ha you folks could say on "this" topic for so long.

YOUR CANDIDATES NEED MONEY!!!

Posted by: mghorning at May 15, 2010 04:22 PM (JscFm)

353 in my younger days i shut down a few chat rooms using DHTML. One night i got some mean fanmail from Microsoft and Netscape......... They said boy you better stop that shit. So I did..

Posted by: Racefan at May 15, 2010 04:24 PM (GZXdi)

354 Ace,

For God's sakes wake up and start double post something!

Some is starting to get a little ripe, on this FOUR hour thread.

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 04:25 PM (2+9Yx)

355 On that Bugatti Veyron. When the car has air brakes, you know it's a fast car.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 15, 2010 04:25 PM (htCuh)

356 YOUR CANDIDATES NEED MONEY!!!

Yeah, I donate to a couple and now my phone rings all day long. They think I'm Fort Knox, or somethin'. Wrong.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 04:25 PM (554T5)

357

Hey Monte, and mormons and mormonettes, what is up?

This same question came up at a recent Scranton Menses meeting. Dang we went round and round. Then we went to a taverna and arrested a Mexican.

True story, honest Injun

Posted by: Joe the lawyer Biden at May 15, 2010 04:25 PM (EcKWO)

358 309
You ever listen to a Boz Scaggs album and then want to go next door and strangle your neighbor?

Posted by: Mr Whoopi at May 15, 2010 07:51 PM (Szkjn)

I wonder wonder wonder

Posted by: Boz Scaggs at May 15, 2010 04:25 PM (Mmw0q)

359 #354 Some is starting to get a little ripe, on this FOUR hour thread.

Four hours is nothing...

Posted by: Juno (sister/wife of Jupiter) at May 15, 2010 04:27 PM (c0A3e)

360

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 08:18 PM (554T5)

The first computer I wrote a program for took up a large room. The input was either paper tape or typewriter. I was still impressed.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 04:28 PM (B1D6G)

361
I wonder wonder wonder

Lido missed the boat that day he left the shack.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:28 PM (P0u2c)

362 And looooooooooooooooong comment posts. I'm more of a Dickens than a Hemingway, I guess. Prolix, logorrheic, positively Proustian. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but what is a soul without a body? A ghost, that's what! Yeah.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:28 PM (O3eFQ)

363 Dirty, dirty sock!

This same question came up at a recent Scranton Menses meeting. Dang we went round and round. Then we went to a taverna and arrested a Mexican.

There's Mexicans in Scranton?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 04:28 PM (c0A3e)

364 Boz Scaggs make me want to puke ... right up there with Barry White ... if a guy puts on Boz .. I am out of there ... just ... I don't know cheezy ... it was okay when it first came out but now it sounds weird to me ... well, at least some of his songs ...

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:29 PM (sH+SG)

365
For God's sakes wake up and start double post something!

Some is starting to get a little ripe, on this FOUR hour thread.

Posted by: Kemp at May 15, 2010 08:25 PM (2+9Yx)

Four hours is nothing. Hell, I dont even achieve one single orgasm in that small time period.

Posted by: Sting at May 15, 2010 04:30 PM (t72+4)

366 (If Ace doesn't get a post up in a half hour or so, I'll put one up. I don't want to step on his toes again.)

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:30 PM (O3eFQ)

367 In a way, Monty's question is not unlike the bullshit Bill Maher was dishing on the earlier thread:

Some (most?) people see the USSR/Maoist China/Khmer Rouge as communism/a secular killing machine/organized atheism --take your pick-- while goofbats like Maher see religion as "anything bad" or at least anything with more than one adherent or any sort of organisation/structure. So, state communism is either one extension of religion, or one of statism/secularism/extreme atheism.

Posted by: logprof at May 15, 2010 04:30 PM (Mmw0q)

368 The first computer I wrote a program for took up a large room. The input was either paper tape or typewriter. I was still impressed.

Same here. As a young pup, I had to convert assembly programs that took in punched card reader output to COBOL inputting data from DASD. I guess that dates me.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 04:31 PM (554T5)

369 Shirley we can torture this point further ...

The guy that said it depends on if there are an even or odd set of objects seems to have another good point ...

But if it were this group of posters, it would certainly be "odd"

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 04:33 PM (X4Ife)

370 And looooooooooooooooong comment posts.

I'm more of a Dickens than a Hemingway, I guess. Prolix, logorrheic, positively Proustian. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but what is a soul without a body?

A ghost, that's what!

Yeah.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 08:28 PM (O3eFQ)

I am not disparaging them, hell, I glean a lot from them, when I have the time to read them over a period of a few days.

Posted by: Sting at May 15, 2010 04:33 PM (t72+4)

371 There's Mexicans in Scranton?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 08:28 PM (c0A3e)

Hello!

Posted by: Oscar Martinez at May 15, 2010 04:34 PM (Mmw0q)

372 "Monty, just so you know i've been painstakingly thinking about this problem over and over in my head and ohh.. ohh... well... let me just tell you one thing.. first of all well.. well i just come right out asnd say it.. well.. i shit myself.. i shit myself.. just a little bit!! just a little bit.. just from the strain that this question put me under.. and secondly you might be hearing from my lawyer soon for damages.. punitively.. for damages.. ohhh.. ohhh my ass... why would someone come up with something like this its just incredible, i'll sue everybody! .. " . / Sol Rosenberg voice off

Posted by: cxcxcxcxc at May 15, 2010 04:35 PM (Tfuib)

373
as a cherubic 30

Having difficulty visualizing this. Probably for the best.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:35 PM (P0u2c)

374 I am not disparaging them, hell, I glean a lot from them, when I have the time to read them over a period of a few days. I kid, I kid, homie. Someday when I've shuffled off this mortal coil, they're going to put "tl;dr" on my headstone.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:35 PM (O3eFQ)

375 Blah ... more Keith ... love him even if he looks dead ... ... post filler ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQXl5KCqWAk&feature=related

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:35 PM (sH+SG)

376 There's Mexicans in Scranton?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 08:28 PM (c0A3e)

--I don't know about Scranton but there are a fair amount in Bethlehem, including some of my family (natural, not by marriage)

Posted by: logprof at May 15, 2010 04:35 PM (Mmw0q)

377 a recent Scranton Menses meeting

Chocolate on the menu, I'm assuming.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 15, 2010 04:36 PM (OkT2m)

378 newser's post reminded me that it's Armed Forces Day.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 04:36 PM (W396d)

379

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at May 15, 2010 08:31 PM (554T5)

Old farts will rule the world. I read that somewhere. I can't link it. Just trust me.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 04:37 PM (B1D6G)

380 Dang, it's like 8:30pm on the East coast. Still 5:30, here, though. Where did the time go?

Posted by: Editor at May 15, 2010 04:37 PM (YX6i/)

381 Reminds me of: "what's the difference between a painter that paints like a child, and a child's painting?"

Posted by: Lady in Black (formerly Twinks because I learned the real meaning of the word) at May 15, 2010 04:58 PM (VYKgG)

One a human and the other is a painting, O Best Beloved.

Posted by: Grey Fox at May 15, 2010 04:38 PM (ULOId)

382
I am not disparaging them, hell, I glean a lot from them, when I have the time to read them over a period of a few days.

I kid, I kid, homie. Someday when I've shuffled off this mortal coil, they're going to put "tl;dr" on my headstone.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 08:35 PM (O3eFQ)

I'm not saying they are long or anything, just maybe an intermission or two like Dr. Zhivago had.

Sometimes you need to take a leak and have a smoke. : )

Posted by: Blazer at May 15, 2010 04:39 PM (t72+4)

383 #378 Thanks for the reminder. I kept thinking it was tomorrow for some stupid reason.

Three cheers for the US Armed Forces!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 15, 2010 04:40 PM (c0A3e)

384 I didn't see a new post sitting in the queue, so I went ahead and put another one up. New thread!

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 04:40 PM (O3eFQ)

385 374 I kid, I kid, homie. Someday when I've shuffled off this mortal coil, they're going to put "tl;dr" on my headstone.

I LOLed.

But your posts aren't longer than some of Ace's. The other day, I had to scroll down 1/2 the pg to get to the topic sentence-- or so it seemed.

Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 15, 2010 04:41 PM (W396d)

386 Our first act as newly elected member of the United Nations Human Rights Council will be to condemn the racist Arizona immigration law!

In our land there is no anti-semitic violence.

_{(We kicked the Jews out a long time ago)}

Posted by: Libya at May 15, 2010 04:41 PM (Mmw0q)

387 382 - Dr. Zhivago .. my favorite movie .. being played out in real time .. no seriously ... my favorite movie .. and love the soundtrack ..

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:41 PM (sH+SG)

388

Old farts will rule the world. I read that somewhere. I can't link it. Just trust me.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 08:37 PM (B1D6G)

..................

be kind to old farts............. we know more mean tricks than young ones.

Posted by: Racefan at May 15, 2010 04:42 PM (GZXdi)

389 linear programming duality.

WTH is that crap?

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 08:12 PM (P0u2c)

Magic. Linear programming is magic.

And incredibly useful.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 15, 2010 04:43 PM (Vo2Ef)

390

Mexicans in Scranton!!!!???

Well I'm on the phone to Arizona right now. I'm gonna tell them to come and get their Mexicans right this damn minute.

I've warned those Arizonans before and they told me to take a flying leap, so I did and when I came back they had hung up.

This time I won't take no for an answer, or my name ain't Jose. They don't have guns there, that's just talk.

True story and anyway I'm Vice President, aren't I?

Posted by: Joe the lawyer Biden at May 15, 2010 04:44 PM (EcKWO)

391 the aftermath of the flood has taught me a few things ... I hate my brother who has been holed up with me for this time ... I love my brother who has been holed up with me this time ... what is it with people you love ... your family (and family is not just your biological family) ... we scream at each other and then when the shit hits the fan ... you find out who really is there for you ... blah ...

Posted by: jackson(FEMA hates white people) at May 15, 2010 04:45 PM (sH+SG)

392
.. we know more mean tricks than young ones.

Meaner, too.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:46 PM (P0u2c)

393
Magic. Linear programming is magic.

Amish, what do you think of the CUDA stuff? I'm trying to find someone that can write a TIFF-ing engine using nvidia cards. My C sucks.

Posted by: Dang Straights at May 15, 2010 04:47 PM (P0u2c)

394

Meaner, too.
...................

you got that right....... never saw anyone mess with Grandpa. but then again i never saw him without a Smith & Wesson in his pocket either.

Posted by: Racefan at May 15, 2010 04:55 PM (GZXdi)

395 Your C sucks? Mine's downgraded to D-.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 15, 2010 04:56 PM (Vo2Ef)

396 Your C sucks? Mine's downgraded to D-. Time to start learning F, then. (The functional-programming derivative of FORTRAN.) Microsoft includes an F# compiler with the newest .NET environment.

Posted by: Monty at May 15, 2010 05:00 PM (O3eFQ)

397 I'm ANTITRAN myself.

Posted by: AmishDude at May 15, 2010 05:08 PM (Vo2Ef)

398 That one class in Pascal won't get me very far I guess ...

Posted by: bill at May 15, 2010 05:09 PM (X4Ife)

399 Basic was the best of all.

Posted by: Ronster at May 15, 2010 05:19 PM (B1D6G)

400 Monty, I would ask you who gives a shit but 399 comments prove I am wrong again.

Posted by: td at May 15, 2010 05:45 PM (w7TI0)

401 I know that the topic has veered wildly away from the original post, but I just got home and I know the answer. The answer to the question is yes. He is also the world's fattest thin man and the world's thinnest fat man. I refer you all to The Phantom Tollbooth (and I can't believe that nobody has mentioned it yet).

Posted by: Wikitorix at May 15, 2010 05:46 PM (TXbXB)

402 You'll love my upcoming documentary on the world's dullest man! The nice thing is that I can turn it into an endless franchise, since he'll suddenly be very interesting, what with having a documentary about him and all, so someone else will become the dullest man... for a while.

Posted by: The Chap in the Deerstalker Cap at May 16, 2010 03:42 AM (JK5mm)

403 World's tallest short man would be the tallest person who has been confirmed to be genetically a midget/dwarf.

World's shortest tall man would be the shortest person with hyperthyroidism.

Posted by: otcconan at May 16, 2010 06:47 AM (awsnE)

404 But if each person is put into one basket, tall or short, then there is no one person in both baskets. Therefore, the shortest tall person and tallest short person cannot be the same person because they are in separate baskets. You are still forcing a comparison to some standard to choose who goes into the tall basket and who goes into the short basket, the standard being some height exactly in the middle of tall and short. For some person of that height, you would say he is both tall and short. I would say he is neither. He is the standard and does not go into either basket. Someone cannot be both tall and short.

Posted by: hadsil at May 16, 2010 01:23 PM (rksBt)

405 Is he named Elwood or Brentwood?!

Posted by: Never Give A Sucker An Even Break at May 18, 2010 12:22 PM (Gdtid)

406

CATERPILLAR

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