whoa, that some soy-marinated-metro-SNAG !

can't imagine what his legal musings would be like

Posted by: AmishDude at July 28, 2010 04:24 PM (T0NGe)

Its ok if I rent the house next to my stalking target, err source of journalistic interest, right?

this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage.

Yeah, I'm sure she was pining away for your absolution.  She turned you down flat, didn't she?  I bet she didn't give you a second thought as she got tipsy with her new mister and daydreamed about the honeymoon.  Methinks you think she thinks more of you than she really does.  Sheesh. 

Hoo Ha....Great Ass!

oh..wait.....We gotta moron here!

PUSSY!!

Sounds like his mangina is in a bad mood.

His second chakra needs bedazzleing.

Jebus, what disgusting metrosexual claptrap. If that pusscookie had one more nut, he(???) would  have ONE. I'll bet he buys hisself flowers on his birthday.

That woman either dodged a wuss bullet, or like so many "liberated women" she is afraid of men, and so chooses sensitive, and vulnerable near men, or aged little boys. I'd kick his ass just because he needs it.

Hoo Ha....Great Ass!

oh..wait.....We gotta moron here!

PUSSY!!

Posted by: Al Pacino playin the blind guy in that movie from like ten years ago at July 28, 2010 04:29 PM (pr+up)

scent of a women...........

What ever happened to gettin piss runk, dookin it out w/your buddies, and pickin up some bar skank; rinsing and repeating if neccesary??

You see what these militant feminist have created!!

Posted by: mpfs at July 28, 2010 04:41 PM (iYbLN)

So you are ok with the whole Julia Gulia thing now?

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at July 28, 2010 04:40 PM (HqpV0)

I resemble that remark..goood day sir!

^{You know what makes me sad?}

YOU DO!!!!!

Where did you keep your balls, boy? I mean, back when you had some, that is. You did have a pair once, didn't you? Or is that kid really yours? Hell, he looks like the fucking milkman.

And what's this shit you wrote about wanting to have a child with her? Think of the stretch marks you'll have! Dammit boy, I've shit more masculine turds than you!

You make me sick! Go slit your wrists now and put us out of our misery.

Pussy!

LONDON – WikiLeaks' editor-in-chief claims his organization doesn't know who sent it some 91,000 secret U.S. military documents, telling journalists that the Web site was set up to hide the source of its data from those who receive it.

Julian Assange didn't say whether he meant he had no idea who leaked the documents or whether his organization simply could not be sure. But he did say the added layer of secrecy helps protect the site's sources from spy agencies and hostile corporations.

Good thing the "real media" checked all of this out and just didn't run with what could be a completely fabricated story

Posted by: John Hinckley at July 28, 2010 04:44 PM (yQWNf)

Ditto

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at July 28, 2010 04:48 PM (wOtDN)

You rang sir?

Mr. Cohen, meet Mr. Palm. 

Bwa Hahahahaha!

I hope ya had her blow ya at least once Andy, ya friggin pansy.

Here's what my best friend said after my first girlfriend dumped me:

"Does that mean she's available"?

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at July 28, 2010 04:48 PM (wOtDN)

Or about forty circus clowns.

Tsk..Tsk.. Tsk. Pffft...white boys make laugh.

Here's what my best friend said after my first girlfriend dumped me:

"Does that mean she's available"?

Posted by: 48%er at July 28, 2010 04:52 PM (kcqZS)

I would have said, " can you flip her over?"

I, too, watched another man marry the woman I loved.

The first two stepdads sucked, but, third time's a charm.

Inappropriate. Better suited as a personal letter  to her rather than to publish it for the world to read.

Comes off as clingy; not to mention needy.

No wonder she's no longer with him.

He manages to convey pussy and douchebag from the same words.

It is almost a skill... 

101   You forgot the titty bar.

Bad news, Andrew,

Your micropenis was the dealbreaker.

#107

what part of "picks up a whore" didnt you get? The Titty Bar is implied...

I don't care of her vagina was made of the finest memory foam on the planet, I wouldn't grovel about love lost. Hell, this guy was thrilled that she wasn't embarrassed to be seen with him. That's quite the high bar you've set there, Andy.

Hey, Andy, you know what'll look good on your ex on our wedding day?

My balls and baby batter.

He should have just bought her a spice rack.

Who doesn't need a spice rack?

"I wish you all the best on your wedding day.  Oh, and I'm going to burn down your honeymoon suite, but first you will blow me."

I found once out a guy I was seeing was actually engaged.

(We were dating long-distance. And I was too dippy head-over-heals in love to properly vet him).

Anyhoo, when I found out I sent his bride-to-be a plunger before her bridal shower with a note that read, "Good luck on cleaning up your fiancee's messes. Sincerely, the other woman he shagged on Valentine's Day".

Felt good at the time. Not so much after-the-fact. She was probably a nice girl.

#133

Problem is she breathed too hard and it took an hour and a half to find it again

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 28, 2010 05:05 PM (pLTLS)

Nasty, and vindictive. Reminds me of me little woman......

You should have saved that one for your priest.

Oh it's okay, we're amongst 'friends' (that I'll never meet!).

Posted by: jmflynny at July 28, 2010 05:07 PM (v+ZxY)

No, only pussies use the word whinging.

Let's send him emails reminding him of all the dirty, dirty things his love will be doing with her new husband on their honeymoon.

She'll probably even let him do some anal to show how much she loves him.

After an unexpected divorce............

LOL

Every time I go to Israel for a while and then return home, I realize that most liberal American Jewish men are pathetic twats.

And this fucker is Exhibit A.

There was that time she started trying to race me home, and she took a wrong turn and lost.  I never even speeded up.  We laughed, but I could tell she was frustrated.  Glad I don't have to worry about moments like that anymore. 

Women.   Who needs 'em.

What's that saying?  "Women:  Can't live with 'em; can't live with 'em."

After an unexpected divorce............

LOL

Good catch. That word sure turns up in the strangest of places.

What's that saying?  "Women:  Can't live with 'em; can't live with 'em."

Women.  Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.

What's that saying?  "Women:  Can't live with 'em; can't live with 'em."

Nope.  It was, "Women:  Can't live with 'em.  Pass the beer nuts."

I mean, no such thing as the Great White Buffalo, right?  Can I get an amen!?

196 Cool to know none of us guyz would ever react to a woman like that.  Or admit to it, anyway.  No pussies around here. 

I think Andrew Cohen is a stand-up individual and would like to subscribe to his newsletter!

See, if you were John Wayne, after you've shot Liberty Valance and saved the life of the man who's gonna take your true love away from you forever, you know that what you gotta do is go get drunk and burn down the house you built for her and you to live in.

but you DAMN sure don't say anything to her about it!!!

199 Did Ace finish his gay romance novel?

He's still waiting for my "input."

Posted by: dagny at July 28, 2010 05:21 PM (5GQ6w)

With this guy, they must have started in the early blastula stage.

I really couldn't get through the whole letter (out of vicarious embarrassment), but apologizing to exes that you have wronged isn't such a bad idea.

Putting it in writing and then publishing it... well that's another thing entirely.

Pussy-Whipped (pu'see whipped)

(en)(slang) Definition:  See Andrew Cohen.

Synonyms:  Pussy.  Wuss.  Pansy.

Mangina of the Day.

Or Week, perhaps?

When life gives you boiled rabbits, make rabbit stew.

He's trying to make sure he stays single, for the rest of his life.

If he sticks to English speaking women who know how to use Google, he's succeeded.   Does he have an editor?  An adult human being who could have told him, "This is sick.  Take the day off.  Go get drunk, and come back when you're OK."

Posted by: soulpile at July 28, 2010 05:28 PM (gH+Hj)

Sure has enough instances of the word "I" in it to qualify as an Obama speech.

Posted by: nickless at July 28, 2010 05:35 PM (MMC8r)

I always let them make the first move. If they want contact, they will initiate it.

And I thought saying 'hello' to some old 'girlfriends' on Facebook would be too stalkerish....

It depends on how you say 'hello'.

 I'm really interested in how Sally Ann Cavinaugh feels about this. No, seriously. I mean really. I'm sensitive and I give a fuck.

This guy's ghost writer must be Bill Ayers, too.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 28, 2010 05:37 PM

Or Liza Minelli

And I thought saying 'hello' to some old 'girlfriends' on Facebook would be too stalkerish....

It depends on how you say 'hello'.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at July 28, 2010 05:37 PM (pLTLS)

Changing your profile pic to a "junk shot" and then sending them a billion "friend" requests?

I'm really interested in how Sally Ann Cavinaugh feels about this. No, seriously. I mean really. I'm sensitive and I give a fuck.

I love her, too.  I loved her more before she had the sex change, though.

Posted by: 10,000 guys on chatroulette.com at July 28, 2010 05:40 PM (Ps41e)

No, I'm not suggesting that at all. Actually, I was looking for some kind of affirmation that I'm on the right track.

Changing your profile pic to a "junk shot" and then sending them a billion "friend" requests?

Something like that. Or even less creepy but more pathetic--the random, "facebook heart". Thefuck is that?? Actually I don't know if they have that anymore. Either they got rid of it or I defriended all the creeps on my friend list that went that route.

Is there one word for Mangina Journalist?

Manginalist? Manginolist? Cabron?

What flavor of juicebox do you think he was drinking when he wrote it?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 28, 2010 05:33 PM (P9+0W)

Except Darryl Hannah is apparently something of a nut.  It was Jackson Browne who called the cops on the night of that "incident," so maybe she was trying to hurt him or herself.  Joni Mitchell spun the incident into the story that Jackson beat up Darryl.

Either they got rid of it or I defriended all the creeps on my friend list that went that route.

But, but, I really thought that would work, Lacy!

246 What flavor of juicebox do you think he was drinking when he wrote it?

Poisonberry?

I wonder how one could stop a stalker journalist from doing this kind of thing.

Notify us, immediately!  Bawahahahahahaha!

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 28, 2010 05:37 PM

Or Liza Minelli

Posted by: Truck Monkey at July 28, 2010 05:39 PM (yQWNf)

Edith Piaf.

Wow. If I were his ex's husband I'd beat the hell out of him

Naw, really? C'mon. The only sensible response would be to laugh, then give it to your blushing bride while you've got her bent over a hotel room chair.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at July 28, 2010 05:43 PM (P9+0W)

The first one. Definitely the first one. What did the rest of you sickos think I meant?

Posted by: Kozaburo at July 28, 2010 05:45 PM (al60v)

Or they could send him a video of them laughing their asses off at his column before sharing a hot kiss.

Or, best of all, they could ignore the hell out of him.

How could you be mad at this pathetic pile of not-man?

I'd just elbow my wife in the ribs and laugh about how lucky she is to have found me instead of getting stuck with that.

Naw, really? C'mon. The only sensible response would be to laugh, then give it to your blushing bride while you've got her bent over a hotel room chair.

And send the video to Cohen.

If he had written it in Klingon, he would have garnered some sympathy.

Not from actual Klingons, though.

 What was he thinking?

Umm, is that the point? Clearly he wasn't.

He was typing through tears.

I mean if you *have* to do that for therapeutic reasons, fine. Do it and erase. Do it and save to the desktop. But for love of all things holy don't Do it and publish!

#48 he's a dick and a pussy at the same time,,,

so I guess he should go fark himself?

It seems he is pretty into himself, so maybe it's a perfect match.

That Ba Ba Booey tape was a riot.

I'll give him props for making that public and facing Stern's abuse. Oh, man. I couldn't stomach that kind of ridicule.

Didn't Howard Stern pay him to make it public? I think he did a fundraiser or something. Hysterical.

Maybe I should have just written a letter.

As opposed to carving the letter "C" into Nicole's neck?

If I were to write a missive on the occasion of my ex's getting married, I would address it to the new dude and my message would be just one word.

Thanks!

If I were to write a missive on the occasion of my ex's getting married, I would address it to the new dude and my message would be just one word.

Thanks!

+

"Good Luck."

What a tool.Sounds like the message Babba Booey left on his girl friends answering machine.At least that was funny.

Thanks!

+

"Good Luck."

P.S. She loves it when you buy her stuff. _Dumbass.

If I were to write a missive on the occasion of my ex's getting married, I would address it to the new dude and my message would be just one word.

Thanks!

+

"Good Luck."

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 28, 2010 06:01

+

"Smell my finger"

Andrew, we are young, heartache to heartache we stand, no promises, no demands.

Andrew, in my life there's been heartache and pain, I don't know if I can face it again. Can't stop now, I've traveled so far to change this lonely life.

Women.  You can't walk with them, and you can't walk without them.

What's love got to do with it?

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at July 28, 2010 04:28 PM (FHtH2)

I applaud you sir!  Awesome wordsmithing!

I'd kill myself for you.

I'd kill YOU, for myself.

- found scrawled in blood at the scene of the Honeymoon doublemurder/suicide

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at July 28, 2010 04:28 PM (FHtH2)

fins flipping on that one......... good one.

I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together.

Here, he just bragging to console himself.

Andy, don't be sad!  Hot young Russian women are waiting for your call today!

I hope you've got a good supply of tissues on hand, because you're never going to be sticking that button dick of yours into a vagina again.

I hope you've got a good supply of tissues on hand, because you're never going to be sticking that button dick of yours into a vagina again.

Posted by: HoundOfDoom at July 28, 2010 06:31 PM (tQ7IJ)

I'm pretty sure this guy supplies his own vagina.

Manginalist? Manginolist? Cabron?

Posted by: Dr. Varno at July 28, 2010 05:43 PM (3fiIy)

Mangonad

Andrew Cohen II: The Revenge of Kitty Galore

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at July 28, 2010 04:48 PM (wOtDN)

Do you mind if we dance wif yo dates?

Manginalist? Manginolist? Cabron?

You laughed and cried with Sally Fields in "Steel Magnolias."

Now, feel it all over again.

Passion flowers in a new tree.

Andrew Cohen stars in...

P U S S Y W I L L O W

What a bloody fag!

If this is the general trend among males in the Western world, no wonder my girls can't find good prospects.  This would be bitchy and trite for a female, let alone a guy! (and we females do get a little latitude on the bitchiness, 'cause we're women; still, too. damn. bitchy)

Whatever happened to men just up and saying "Baby,  still love you and don't want you marrying him!", and then threaten to beat the other guy up -- I mean that's kinda the manly way to let the unrequited love out of the bag isn't it? (or you can go sulk in the fortress of solitude, getting shitty drunk, alternately cursing women and ogling porn and/or Victoria's Secret catalogs until you feel up to venturing out into the amorous fray...that's the other way I think men are supposed to cope with crushed romances).

314  Divorced from?  He'll be lucky to score with anyone moderately sober again!

1) because he's a whiny pussy

2)because he just called chicky-boo the penultimate love of his life (we women do not like hearing that we are not the greatest good you have ever known)

Dude better invest in a blowup doll and some beef liver.

I would never trade my husband for any other man

Of course not! But would you sell him?

You know who'd really be disgusted by this?

Techno Viking.

I'm just sayin'.

I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together.

Andy, there's a whole host of free flicks available on the InterTubes for you and your Pornolist friends in which "showering" plays a prominent role. Seek your solace there. It worked for my unreleased second chakra! Al.

Maybe he just needs to get into his favorite, most comfy robe, scoop himself up a big bowl of Haagan Daz  (triple chocolate fudge!), and sit down to a Sleepless in Seattle/When Harry Met Sally double feature.

I bet that would make him feel better.

321  Depends, how much do you think a guy like my man would go for on the open market?

Brad Pitt?  Please!  No -- I like the one I have; he suits me.

328  That's less funny than the Brad Pitt quip, smartass. (insert image of me flipping you off...lovingly of course, and with good humor)

c'on now, you know what I'm driving at: you should marry somebody who suits you and who you stay loyal to.  And that is the way I feel about my husband -- plus he's one of the few men who isn't scared of me...that helps.

Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

This special dedication goes out to Andrew "Dwight Shrute" Cohen:

Everybody Hurts by REM 

Radio Delilah - Love Someone on 92.1

My Dad always used to tell me that a man should know when to say the right thing, but even more importantly, when to keep his goddamned mouth shut.  Cohen, she didn't need your permission to go on and be happy with her life, and any idea on your part that she did means that you are a self-centered ass-hat who cares far more for yourself than you do for her.  Your private life togehter was just that - private, between you and her.  It wasn't, and still isn't, the business of everyone in America, and if you wrote this without first getting her permission...

...well, good on her for losing you and moving on, because you, sir, are no man that any good woman should want to be with.  Now, go suck down a half gallon of Valu-Rite and puke away your memories of her - she belongs to another, who, assuming he IS the man that you are not, is probably not only banging her in every way imaginable as I am writing this, but is also seriously considering whomping the ever loving shit out of you for fucking with his wife's happiest moment. 

Radio Delilah - Love Someone on 92.1

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 28, 2010 07:56 PM (2g2ex)

Snap!

I read the update where Jezebel rapes the man in her response to his column.  Wow. 

She strikes me as the type of woman who, at a party, might publicly ridicule her man's lack of stamina in bed the before.  She's the type who you knew better than to ask out in high school for fear of being turned down in a humiliaing fashion.

I read the update where Jezebel rapes the man in her response to his column.  Wow. 

She strikes me as the type of woman who, at a party, might publicly ridicule her man's lack of stamina in bed the before.  She's the type who you knew better than to ask out in high school for fear of being turned down in a humiliaing fashion.

Posted by: Steve O at July 28, 2010 08:32 PM (IXYD1)

I don't think she was asked out a lot in High School, or much afterward either. She's just a bitter pig dog.

http://bit.ly/9dhrlf

It's as if Air Supply remade all the Carpenter's songs with Manilow producing.  

Posted by: chemjeff at July 28, 2010 05:31 PM (Ps41e)

Bah.  That's the best kind of misery for an enemy to suffer, short of his being physically tortured with hot irons or something.  I hope he wallows in it for the rest of his days, lamenting a lost-love scenario that grows ever more bitter sweet with each passing day.  Hopefully it will devolve into an unthinking, black despair that will suck out whatever thin and pale life force this Leftard scum has remaining in his being.  And may everyone like him on earth suffer the same, and worse!  Nothing is sweeter than the tears of unfathomable sorrow, nor any schadenfreude more delicious than to inflict emotional harm on such scum.

Many years ago the then total and complete love of my life dumped me on my head in a terrible way and married someone else..on my sister's birthday (what an asshat).  I cried.  I lost it.  I walked around in a daze....And the thought of penning him a love letter and publishing it so that everyone could see it is enough to imagine hurling. 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  You 'LUV" this woman but you want to jack her wedding day?  Nothing like looking at that magical moment, flipping open the paper to see...YOUR FREAKING EX MOONING AT YOU FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD TO SEE.

Way to go, jackass.  You love her so much that you just had to make HER wedding day all about YOU.

A real man grabs his best friend and goes and gets hammered and then his friend drives him home.  A real woman grabs her best friend, makes popcorn and watches some comedy with a box of tissues and no witnesses.  What neither would do would be to mark that day publically with a shower of narcissism

My only hope is that this woman is on a killer honeymoon out of the country and no one was stupid enough to call her and say "do you know what your ex spewed all over the internet?"

nfl jerseys cheap nfl jerseys discount nfl jerseys cheap nfl jerseys discount nfl jerseys