Ace of Spades HQ

March 04, 2010

Animal rights "activists" want to cut Knut the polar bear's junk off!
— Purple Avenger

Darling, cute cuddly Knut. THEY WANT TO CUT HIS BALLS OFF. That's some harsh shit. I would think he's got a right to keep his junk intact and maybe snack on a few of those crazy moonbats that want to mess with his manhood.

In other German news, what would you do if you were a contractor and found 100,000 Euros stashed under some old bathtub during a remodel?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 12:27 PM | Comments (29)
Post contains 93 words, total size 1 kb.

1 What? The Germans want to cut the junk off a dude who returned 100,000 Euros?

Posted by: Confused Headline Skimmer at March 04, 2010 12:30 PM (bbn3s)

2 Take the Euros and run!

Posted by: wherestherum at March 04, 2010 12:31 PM (gofDd)

3
THE POLAR BEARS ARE DYING, WE MUST CASTRATE THEM!

Posted by: Dumbshit Greenie at March 04, 2010 12:31 PM (fx8sm)

4 The most important animal right, is The Right To Bear Junk!

Posted by: Buzzsaw at March 04, 2010 12:31 PM (tf9Ne)

5 http://www.thelocal.de/sci-tech/20100302-25601.html

Bunk, I'll be.

Posted by: CUS at March 04, 2010 12:32 PM (wOGfT)

6 I couldn't just take the money. It would nag at me.

Posted by: Z Ryan at March 04, 2010 12:32 PM (cMo6P)

7 Isn't this the same polar bear the greenies wanted to kill when it was a cub? Because living in a zoo would be cruel, or something.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at March 04, 2010 12:33 PM (UOM48)

8 Save Knut's Nuts!

And what a dope. I'll bet the old guy with dementia has a bunch of turds for kids who will just blow the money anyway. Either that or the state will take it for his care and blow it anyway.

Posted by: Rocks at March 04, 2010 12:33 PM (Q1lie)

9 If its good enough for polar bears, it should be good enough for terrorists, right?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at March 04, 2010 12:35 PM (NvAra)

10 Posted by: CUS at March 04, 2010 04:32 PM (wOGfT)

Hey that's a nice dick holder right there. That accessory didn't come with my cell phone.

Posted by: Rocks at March 04, 2010 12:35 PM (Q1lie)

11 Was that stashed cash from Obama's stash?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at March 04, 2010 12:35 PM (1Jaio)

12 I say put her in the cage with the cuddly thing and give her a knife.

Posted by: Vic at March 04, 2010 12:36 PM (QrA9E)

13
Do the greens really think there's some kind of incest taboo in nature? Hey, if cousin-pokin' is good enough for morons, it's good enough for Knut.

Posted by: Dang Straights at March 04, 2010 12:37 PM (fx8sm)

14 Once castrated, his balls would then be displayed in a pudding cup.

Butterscotch.

Posted by: CUS at March 04, 2010 12:37 PM (wOGfT)

15 If they do this where's the polar bear supposed to put his paw when he's just hanging out watching TV?

What is he supposed to lick when he's bored?

Posted by: CUS at March 04, 2010 12:42 PM (wOGfT)

16 Any offspring would threaten the genetic diversity of the polar bear population in Germany

Wow. So Polar Bears are indigenous to Germany.

I. Did. Not. Know. That.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 04, 2010 12:45 PM (I/MqP)

Quick! Send him to Canada. He can help Ike be a table. No kick the polar bear.....

Posted by: bebes boobs destroy at March 04, 2010 12:57 PM (cniXs)

18 Nut cutting? That's it, where are the fucking meteors?

Posted by: Dr. Spank at March 04, 2010 01:07 PM (I1/U/)

19 First they take my ice floe, now this.

Posted by: Knut the Polar Bear at March 04, 2010 01:13 PM (QKKT0)

20 We've got dibs on his tonsils and legs.

Posted by: Evil Cabal of American Physicians at March 04, 2010 01:15 PM (QKKT0)

Of course they want to castrate him -- in order to spare future little polar bears from the evilly evil (with 100% more patronizing patriarchy than before) zoooos.

And we all know what zooo rhymes with, right kids?

Posted by: unknown jane at March 04, 2010 01:37 PM (5/yRG)

If he found 100,000 Euros...

How old could that tub be?

Posted by: garrett at March 04, 2010 01:38 PM (LeYse)

purple avenger! show us your tits!

Posted by: the guy who wants to see purple avenger's tits at March 04, 2010 02:27 PM (QPEoE)

24 I didn't click the link. Were they modern Euros, or were they Weimar euros or Nazi euros? 'Cuz they could be valuable as collectors items if they're really old.

Posted by: FireHorse at March 04, 2010 03:15 PM (cQyWA)

The German worker is a good man - all praise to him. He did what was right, and in those cold watches of the night he can look at himself and say "I did what was right."

That makes up for a lot of stuff.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at March 04, 2010 04:22 PM (nlRuk)

26
Why not a vasectomy? Knut can spend a week sitting on a bag of frozen peas, and then have his way with Giovanna, and anyone else who walks into his cage.

Posted by: Mr. Peabody at March 04, 2010 04:44 PM (TcaE8)

27 I'm betting he actually found 200,000 Euros.

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