Ace of Spades HQ

June 04, 2010

Anti-Sikhmetism/Sikh Conspiracy Thread
— Ace

Daylight Savings Time? Something the Sikhs made up so they could sell us more schmattas on our way home from work.

(That's either a Dave in Texas joke or a Monty joke.)

Posted by: Ace at 02:07 PM | Comments (175)
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I got nuthin'

Posted by: damian at June 04, 2010 02:08 PM (4WbTI)

2 as i said before the Sikhs control Bollywood.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:08 PM (DKV43)

3 They control Hollywood, you know. They change their names. Tom Cruise? Right. How about Tommakranurich Kruchinyeshistein?

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:08 PM (66DVY)

4 How do you stop a Sikh from chasing you? Throw a penny on the ground.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:09 PM (66DVY)

5 Me... and Sikhs

Posted by: Zombie Henry Hyde at June 04, 2010 02:10 PM (JVNAn)

6 Sikh...and you shall me

Posted by: Zombie Larry Fine at June 04, 2010 02:10 PM (JVNAn)

7 How can you tell a Sikh from a wog? A: You can't; a Sikh is a wog. Rim-shot.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:11 PM (66DVY)

8 Sikh Heil!

Posted by: Zombie Slumdog Hitler at June 04, 2010 02:12 PM (JVNAn)

9 My cat's breath smells like catfood.

Posted by: Ralph at June 04, 2010 02:12 PM (9dIfg)

10 How many Sikhs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Six. They're dumb. Rim-shot.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (66DVY)

11 Andre Bauer makes me Sikh.

Posted by: TomServo at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (T1boi)

12 You guys want to watch that stuff. I got a kukri that I might have to slash you with.

Posted by: The Sikh Union at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (PaoSD)

I hear the Punjabi seeks are secretly enriching weapons grade turbonium.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (DKV43)

14 I'm not defined by my religion...for instance I'm restoring a 67' Corvette in my Garage...

Posted by: a Sikh IT guy at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (2yLj1)

You guys want to watch that stuff. I got a kukri that I might have to slash you with.

that is the gurkas you schmuck. do all brown people look alike to you?

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:13 PM (DKV43)

16 Sihks don't wash their hair because they've poisoned the worlds shampoo supply.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:14 PM (DKV43)

17 How do you stop a Sikh from drowning?

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:15 PM (DKV43)

18 About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Sikhs had to leave Italy
Naturally there was a big uproar from the Sikh community.So the Pope made a deal
He would have a religious debate with a member of the Sikh community
If the Sikh won, the Sikhs could stay. If the Pope won, the Sikhs would leave.
The Sikhs realized that they had no choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named
Harbinder Singh to represent them. Harbinder asked for one additional condition to the debate
To make it more interesting, neither side would be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.
The day of the great debate came .Harbinder Singh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute
Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
Harbinder looked back at him and raised one finger.
The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head.
Harbinder pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine.
Harbinder pulled out an apple.
The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Sikhs can stay.'
An hour later, the cardinals were gathered around the Pope asking him what had happened.
The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.
He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still One God common to both our religions.
Then, I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us.
He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us.
Then, I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin.
He had an answer for everything. What could I do?'
Meanwhile, the Sikh community had crowded around Harbinder Singh.
'What happened?' they asked.
'Well,' said Harbinder, 'First he said to me that the Sikhs had three days to get out of here.
I told him not one of us was leaving.
Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Sikhs.
I let him know that we were staying right here.'
'Yes, and then???' asked the crowd.
'I don't know', said Harbinder,
'He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!
Balle Balle

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 02:15 PM (c0A3e)

19 "Schmattas," isn't that one of those Jewish foods? "Gimme some schmattas and a Pepsi."

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:16 PM (eyjmD)

20 The sixth sick Sikh's sixth sheep's sick.

Posted by: Tushar at June 04, 2010 02:16 PM (KXhmI)

21 that is the gurkas you schmuck. do all brown people look alike to you?

That was the Gurka Local 678, we took them over in the fall of 1997.

Posted by: The Sikh Union at June 04, 2010 02:16 PM (PaoSD)

22 I honestly don't know anything about Sikhs. Aside from the head garment issue, and that only because after 9/11, MSNBC (I hadn't found FNC yet) had a big story about concern that they would be subject to the big backlash because it's sort like what muslims wear. Which made no sense to me as I don't think I've ever seen male muslims wearing stuff on their heads.

Posted by: Methos at June 04, 2010 02:17 PM (Xsi7M)

23 WTF, there's actually a "We are Against Sikh jokes" FB page?

Is there any grievance group not represented on FB?

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 02:17 PM (c0A3e)

24 Tushar, I'm not nearly drunk enough to try to say that. Gimme five minutes.

Posted by: alexthechick at June 04, 2010 02:17 PM (r07cb)

25
But in all seriousness people, how do we even know if Sikhs are humans?

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:17 PM (DKV43)

26 The Sikhs created jazz.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:17 PM (66DVY)

27 The man they call Knotts' up a creek
For his redneck Manchurian Sikh
His neck has gone missing
His pants are a-pissing
out the hole that some folks call the squeek

Posted by: Zombie Limerick Dave at June 04, 2010 02:18 PM (JVNAn)

28 @19
Nice.

Posted by: Y-not, dirty papist at June 04, 2010 02:18 PM (Kn9r7)

29 How much wood does a Sihkchuck chuck if a Sihklchuck could chuck wood?

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:18 PM (iYbLN)

They control Hollywood, you know. They change their names.

Tom Cruise? Right. How about Tommakranurich Kruchinyeshistein?

Sihks must be the twelth tribe, part of the diaspora.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:18 PM (eyjmD)

31 27 The Sikhs created jazz.

That was me, fuck-tard!

You're banned from my Internets! I bid you adieu.

Posted by: Cahrles Jhonson at June 04, 2010 02:19 PM (c0A3e)

32 Did you hear about the new Sikh movie? It's rated alalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalala! (and then it cuts your head off)

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:19 PM (wOtDN)

33 The Sikhs were the real puppet masters pulling Anubis's strings and supplying him with all that nifty Ancient's shit.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 04, 2010 02:19 PM (sEyBC)

34 Gurkhas (of whom many were Sikh) were some of the most ferocious soldiers during World War II. The Japanese -- who were themselves legendarily ferocious soldiers -- held them in high regard. Their favorite weapon was the kukri (which is less a knife than a short, curved sword).

Posted by: Monty at June 04, 2010 02:19 PM (O3eFQ)

35 The Sikhs have been throwing plague infected rats into the local drinking well.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:19 PM (DKV43)

36 Heard about the Sihk ice hockey team?

They all drowned during spring training.

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:20 PM (iYbLN)

37
Kratos,

I haven't looked at that FB page, but Sikh jokes in India are like Polack Jokes but even more prevalent and less politically incorrect. It's kind of wierd to hear people tell with such abandon especially since political correctness dominates life here.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at June 04, 2010 02:20 PM (i7iy+)

38 A Sikh "cabal" has been siphoning everyone's gas in my neighborhood lately.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 04, 2010 02:20 PM (sEyBC)

Sikh can Grow Rubees in their Turbins if they get a piece of sand in there.

It takes a long time, which is why you want to look for the ones with the Longest Beards.

Best to hit the convenience stores. Once you find one ask the Filthy bastard for a Raspberry Slushee with Extra Syrup.

This is important because they are as stingy as Hebrews with that shit. They'll have to fight the urge to Jew you before they hit the pump a second time.

This will give you the extra second you need to dodge the Poison Darts that fly out of the Porno-Mag rack when you jump the counter!

Hold your breath too, cause those Rags get funky in the summertime.

Once over the counter, you'll need to work fast...but the reward is well worth the trouble. Also, don't forget to grab a pack of Kool when you're behind the counter, just in case the boss finds out where you've been.

Posted by: Indiana Joe Biden at June 04, 2010 02:20 PM (2yLj1)

40
Clint Eastwood stars in...

Robert Clancy's...

S I K H
A N D
D E S T R O Y

Posted by: a concerned boo berry at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (Szkjn)

41 37 The Sikhs have been throwing plague infected rats into the local drinking well.

That is quite Sikh...

I heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend, who told them that Sikhs were responsible for the creation of Coke 2!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (c0A3e)

42 I think I'm wrong, now that I think about it. Most Gurkhas were Nepalese, not Indian, and thus not Sikh -- my mistake. I was probably thinking of all-Sikh units of the Indian army, who like the Gurkha units had a reputation for hardiness.

Posted by: Monty at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (O3eFQ)

43 One word: Slurpees.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (RZ8pf)

44 if you stab a Sikh they bleed tootsie rolls.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (DKV43)

45 You know who's responsible for all that chewing gum that sticks to your shoes, right?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (sEyBC)

46 Schmatta U, Willis?

Posted by: Gary Colesikh at June 04, 2010 02:21 PM (w8jfz)

47 I thought Gurkhas were little pickles.

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:22 PM (iYbLN)

48 Fire can't melt Sikhs.

Explain that. If you can.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at June 04, 2010 02:22 PM (X/Lqh)

49 Oh! One time this one Sikh . . . haha, no, I can't tell that one. But okay, two Sikhs walk into . . . no, that's not it . . .

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:22 PM (wOtDN)

50 In Punjab, raghead fucks YOU!

Posted by: Zombie Sikhov Ragov at June 04, 2010 02:22 PM (JVNAn)

51 If you catch a sikh and tickle him he has to tell you where he's buried his pot of gold.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:23 PM (66DVY)

52 George Soros is just a lackey for his Sikh puppet masters.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 04, 2010 02:23 PM (sEyBC)

think I'm wrong, now that I think about it.

Most Gurkhas were Nepalese, not Indian, and thus not Sikh -- my mistake. I was probably thinking of all-Sikh units of the Indian army, who like the Gurkha units had a reputation for hardiness.

they both were tough warriors. if i am not mistaken the british would pick out the group they thought to be the "superior" race or tribe, train them, give them things and in return the groups would help police the local people. that is how they were able to expand their empire to such great distances despite the fact England had a small population

The Gurkas however are notorious badasses.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:23 PM (DKV43)

54 9/11 was a Sikh conspiracy.

Posted by: Benson at June 04, 2010 02:23 PM (qzcNU)

55 53 If you catch a sikh and tickle him he has to tell you where he's buried his pot of gold.

Don't need to do that, just offer a sikh some Lucky Charms and he'll sing like a sick Sikh.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 04, 2010 02:23 PM (c0A3e)

56

Jesus was really saying:

"Sihk and you will find."

It's a Catholic conspiracy to keep the true faith from the world!

Posted by: dan brown at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (UaxA0)

57 You make jokes, but I read somewhere that those dot indians were launching some kind of spy satellite over the usa. or maybe it was just dfw.

not sure, but it is powered by ethanol and disguised as am ordinary car.

Posted by: nine coconuts at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (DHNp4)

58 Sikh's make curry out of the blood of young gentile children.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (DKV43)

59 Sikhs wrote Star Wars, Episodes I-III!!!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (zgZzy)

60 Okay, so here's a Sikh joke for you: A child molester and a little girl are walking through the woods. The little girls says, "It's dark, I'm scared!" & the molester says, "Think about me, I have to walk back alone." get it? Sikh?

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (wOtDN)

61 a Sikh gave Mikey the Pop-Rocks and Coke.

Posted by: urban myth at June 04, 2010 02:24 PM (2yLj1)

62 Hitler was really a tool of the Sikh lobby.

Posted by: Benson at June 04, 2010 02:25 PM (qzcNU)

63 Jim Joyce, the umpire that blew the perfect game call?

A Sikh.

Posted by: DrewM. at June 04, 2010 02:25 PM (X/Lqh)

64 Plug the damn hole... with a turban!

Posted by: Zombie Kenyatta at June 04, 2010 02:25 PM (JVNAn)

65 Sikh's killed Indira Gandhi.....wait..

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 02:26 PM (DKV43)

Monty,

I was about to correct you.

Gurkhas and Sikhs are among the best soldiers in the world.

Posted by: Tushar at June 04, 2010 02:26 PM (KXhmI)

67 Swine flu? Sikhs. Three plus three? Sikhs. My girlfriend? Sikhs other guys.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:26 PM (wOtDN)

68 The Shroud of Turin is really just some peasant sikh's dastar he used to wipe his face after he was rudely attacked with bindi paint by a Hindi woman mistaking him for Nikki Haley.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:26 PM (pUfK9)

69 Steven Sikhgal in.....

Under Sikh

_{I had to.}

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (iYbLN)

70 I heard on Michael Savage that the Sikhs all stayed home from work the day Pearl Harbor was attacked. COINCIDENCE?

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (TZJPP)

71 Why do sikh men wear a dastar?

They're all gingers.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (pUfK9)

72 A sikh shaman is having sex with his daughter. "You screw just like your mother," the shaman says. "That's funny, you screw just like my brother!" the daughter says. And then they both laughed as they caused a run on Lehman Brothers.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (66DVY)

73 This thread is begging for Hadji the Muslim Comic or his infidel cousin 100th-or-so removed, Baba the Sikh Jhoker.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (swuwV)

74 Sihks invented the digeridoo and many other Australian instruments still used today.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:27 PM (eyjmD)

75 Sikhs are among the best soldiers in the world.

Maybe but they are not so hot as body guards.

Posted by: Indira Gandhi at June 04, 2010 02:28 PM (X/Lqh)

76 http://tinyurl.com/2ders6u

enough said.

Posted by: nine coconuts at June 04, 2010 02:29 PM (DHNp4)

77

67 Sikh's killed Indira Gandhi.....wait..

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 06:26 PM (DKV43)

LMFAO, ben.

well played sir.

Posted by: s'moron at June 04, 2010 02:29 PM (UaxA0)

78 The Sikh's should go back to Poland and Germany.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 02:29 PM (j0UjH)

79 "Everyone knows the world is run by the Queen, the Rothschilds, the Gettys, Sikhs and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up."

Posted by: The Pentavarit @ The Meadows at June 04, 2010 02:30 PM (JVNAn)

80 sikhs assassinated Archduke Ferdinand and started World War 1.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 04, 2010 02:30 PM (RZ8pf)

Iowahawk?

..more like Iowasikh!

_{(if I only had slublog's photoshop skills!)}

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:30 PM (2yLj1)

82 New Coke?

Yep, Sikhs were behind that.

Posted by: DrewM. at June 04, 2010 02:31 PM (X/Lqh)

83
Good motivational poster.

http://tinyurl.com/25mhrfx

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:31 PM (iYbLN)

84 So this a priest, a reverend, and a Sikh rabbi are eating at a restaurant. They begin arguing about who should pay the check. I forget what happens next but Sikhs are Jews.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:31 PM (66DVY)

85 the sikh calendar ends on the 27th of June, 2010!!!!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:31 PM (2yLj1)

The real mother of Sarah PalinÂ’s baby? A sikh.

Posted by: AndiSullivan at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (RZ8pf)

87 Sikh Willy? Hmm...

Posted by: Wes at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (sxFuJ)

Sikhs infiltrate country music.

_{Et tu, Waylon?}

Posted by: huerfano at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (Updet)

89 the sikh calendar ends on the 27th of June, 2010!!!!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 06:31 PM (2yLj1)

What? A day before my birthday. Dirty Sikhs!!!!

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (pUfK9)

90 You know how a Sikh gets to Berlin? He sinks the Lusitania and installs a puppet government in Germany once they are completely destroyed by his other puppet governments in England, France, and the United States.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (wOtDN)

If you shake a Sikh real hard, candy falls out of his beard.

Posted by: Tushar at June 04, 2010 02:32 PM (KXhmI)

92 81 "Everyone knows the world is run by the Queen, the Rothschilds, the Gettys, Sikhs and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up." Posted by: The Pentavarit @ The Meadows

I needed that laugh.

Thank you.

Now let's get pissed!

Posted by: mpfs at June 04, 2010 02:33 PM (iYbLN)

93 The traditional Sikh dagger is a kirpan, morons.

Which they use to threaten folks that pay retail.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 04, 2010 02:33 PM (E4Pj8)

94 82 sikhs assassinated Archduke Ferdinand and started World War 1. Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 04, 2010 06:30 PM (RZ8pf) Oh, you got there first. Oh well, Sikhs of one, half a Dogan of the other.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:34 PM (wOtDN)

95 ...so the jihadist returns and says the other Sikh at the Diner, your cousin, he says I need a Tie.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:34 PM (2yLj1)

96 When we were in elementary school we used to play Hide and Sikh.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 04, 2010 02:34 PM (RZ8pf)

97 Sikhs and the City

Posted by: Kali Bradshaw at June 04, 2010 02:35 PM (JVNAn)

98 the sikh stole my Quotation marks in that last post!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:35 PM (2yLj1)

99 They don't call them sikhrets for nothing.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:35 PM (pUfK9)

100 ^{48
Schmatta U, Willis?}

^{Posted by: Gary Colesikh at June 04, 2010 06:21 PM (w8jfz)}

Plagiarist sockpuppet!

Posted by: Joe Dolsikh at June 04, 2010 02:36 PM (w8jfz)

101 It wasn't me! Look, over there! It was that damnable Sikh behind that tree!

Posted by: Aaron Burr at June 04, 2010 02:36 PM (iYbLN)

102 How do you circumcise a Sikh? You try with all your might to clamp your buttocks. Haha, no that won't work.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:36 PM (wOtDN)

103 they want to immanetize the Eschaton!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:36 PM (2yLj1)

104 As nefarious as they are, it's ironic that Sikhs don't embrace the suicide bomb as a political tactic.

They don't like to Singh their beards.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 04, 2010 02:37 PM (E4Pj8)

105 They have their bad points, but i understand they sell very nice ties.

Posted by: nine coconuts at June 04, 2010 02:38 PM (DHNp4)

106 Sikh control the world's Tang supply.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:38 PM (2yLj1)

107 The Sikh are sikh-retly building containment camps in rural Iowa.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:39 PM (2yLj1)

108 And now a rousing chorus of "All the Singha Ladies."

Posted by: stuiec at June 04, 2010 02:40 PM (7AOgy)

109 Know how I know Benny Goodman was a Sikh? His big hit was "Singh Singh Singh."

Posted by: stuiec at June 04, 2010 02:41 PM (7AOgy)

110 Sikh are responsible for nearly 88% of all incidents of 'Mining Cart Rage'.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 02:41 PM (2yLj1)

111 Debrahlee Lorenzana was fired because she was too sikhsy. Not too sexy.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:41 PM (pUfK9)

112 You know the Pep Boys, Manny, Moe, and Jack? The mastermind of the corporation, Manny, the guy on the left is Sihkish. He's even wearing those Sihkish eyeglasses.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:43 PM (eyjmD)

113 Sikhs make water swirl clockwise down a drain in the northern hemisphere, but counter-clockwise south of the equator.

Don't ask me how they do it; they just make it so....

and yeah, Sikhs are Something Entirely Different from Ghurkas

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at June 04, 2010 02:44 PM (JrRME)

114

sikhs are totally responisible for ALL of my bad hair days.

which is why i wear a babushka.

Posted by: willow at June 04, 2010 02:44 PM (HyUIR)

115 Bud: Sikhs on first. Lou: Six what on first? Bud: Sikhs is on first. Lou: You mean six are on first. Bud:

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:44 PM (wOtDN)

116 Well, shit, it though that was a tag. Fucking Sikh conspiracy, I tell ya.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:45 PM (wOtDN)

117 Hitler called himself what? An Aryan. And who are the Aryans? Indians. Think about it. I didn't.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 02:45 PM (66DVY)

118 The Pep Boys with their Sikh leader.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:46 PM (eyjmD)

119 110 And now a rousing chorus of "All the Singha Ladies." Posted by: stuiec at June 04, 2010 06:40 PM

Posted by: Punjabi Rocker at June 04, 2010 02:47 PM (4XzsU)

120 What does a Sikh smell like? Nobody knows because they cut off your nose with their special knife!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 04, 2010 02:48 PM (CjCN0)

121 Sikhish princesses don't give blowjobs.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:49 PM (eyjmD)

122 Hitler called himself what? An Aryan.

And who are the Aryans? Indians.

Posted by: ace at June 04, 2010 06:45 PM (66DVY)

And who are the Indians? Baseball players. From Cleveland.

Why do you think they say the guy was "sent to the showers"?

Posted by: stuiec at June 04, 2010 02:50 PM (7AOgy)

123 What did Wyatt Earp say to the Sikh? Just like a Sikh... bringing a knife to a gunfight!

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at June 04, 2010 02:50 PM (CjCN0)

124 Ripper: I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love. Mandrake: Aware of what, Jack? Ripper: That it's a homonym for Sikhs!

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:51 PM (wOtDN)

125

Sikhish-American princess: SAP.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:51 PM (eyjmD)

126 I was going to go out to-night, but my girlfriend wanted Sikhs.

Posted by: The Dread Pirate Neck Beard at June 04, 2010 02:53 PM (wOtDN)

127 OJ killed Nicole, but it was sikh out Ron Goldman.

(too soon?)

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:54 PM (pUfK9)

128

How does a Sikh woman turn on the lights? She opens the backseat door.

Posted by: buzzion at June 04, 2010 02:56 PM (oVQFe)

129 O/T: Krauthammer: "Gallaraga" is going to become a verb. "I was gallaraged."

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 04, 2010 02:56 PM (eyjmD)

130 I never trusted that kid Hajji.

Posted by: Dr. Quest at June 04, 2010 02:57 PM (7AOgy)

131 They were originally going to call it Sikhipedia, but thought that would give away the conspiracy too easily, so changed it to Wikipedia.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 02:58 PM (pUfK9)

132

Sikhish princesses don't give blowjobs.

Yes they do.

Posted by: Larry Marchant at June 04, 2010 02:58 PM (eyjmD)

133

curry shot

Bhangra Spree

Brahma Like !

WICKED SIKH !!

Posted by: UNREAL INDIAN TOURNAMENT at June 04, 2010 02:58 PM (t72+4)

134 I went to Punjab's room looking for hot Sikhs, but he treated me like a piece of Asp.

Posted by: Little Orphan Annie at June 04, 2010 02:58 PM (7AOgy)

135 They Sikh him here
They Sikh him there
The Frenchies Sikh him everywhere
Is he in Heaven or is he not?
That damned repulsive Jakie Knotts

Posted by: Charlotte Pimp Her Nails at June 04, 2010 02:59 PM (JVNAn)

136 and yeah, Sikhs are Something Entirely Different from Ghurkas

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at June 04, 2010 06:44 PM (JrRME)

Well, of course. Sikhs wear turbans and carry the kirpan, and Ghurkas are tiny little pickles.

Posted by: stuiec at June 04, 2010 03:00 PM (7AOgy)

137 102 ^{48
Schmatta U, Willis?}

^{Posted by: Gary Colesikh at June 04, 2010 06:21 PM (w8jfz)}

^{Plagiarist socksikhpuppet!}

^{Posted by: Joe Dolsikh at June 04, 2010 06:36 PM (w8jfz)}

Just words! Just words!

Posted by: BHO, Plagiarist-in-Sikh at June 04, 2010 03:00 PM (w8jfz)

138

The Human Resources Manager ast hewlett Packard said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests except one.

Unless you pass it you cannot work in HP Tech Support.Â’

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The HR rep said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.Â’

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister, I have it now.'

Mujibar said,'The telephone goes; 'green, green, green, green, green, green,

and I pink it up, and say,

'Yellow, this is Mujibar.''

Mujibar now works at HP. You've probably spoken to him. I certainly have.

Posted by: Gunslinger at June 04, 2010 03:01 PM (Zi+FQ)

139 Chris Benoit got marriage counciling from a Sikh.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:01 PM (DKV43)

140 "Sikh and Destroy" isn't a song, it's a warning.

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 04, 2010 03:02 PM (wd0Iq)

141

True fact, the Sikhs invented dead baby jokes.. and the Holomodor.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:03 PM (DKV43)

142 Have you ever seen a ginger Sikh?

They must have souls then.

Just saying, those turbans are only tin hats in disguise.

Dick Chaney might have been a Sikh.

Only the Shadow knows for sure.

Posted by: Kemp at June 04, 2010 03:04 PM (2+9Yx)

143 Ron Paul's candidacy was a Sikh conspiracy.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:05 PM (DKV43)

144 Sikh put Fluoride in our Drinking water!

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:05 PM (2yLj1)

145

Who made Steve Guttenberg a star? Sikhs do. Sikhs do.

Who keeps the metric system down? Sikhs do. Sikhs do.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:06 PM (DKV43)

146 The leaders of the elders of zion secretly report to the true masterminds behind everything in the world. The Sikh-ret Order.

Posted by: buzzion at June 04, 2010 03:07 PM (oVQFe)

147 Yes, an anti-semitism thread. Get all those jews into the ovens!!1!!1

oh wait, you said anti-sikhmetism?

Posted by: Helen Thomas at June 04, 2010 03:08 PM (+hVrU)

148

The Sikhs invented mushroom stamp jewelry.

Posted by: Blazer at June 04, 2010 03:08 PM (t72+4)

149

True fact, Sikh doctors amputate feet to for profits.

Posted by: Obama at June 04, 2010 03:09 PM (DKV43)

150

psst ..sikhs were on the grassy knoll.

once

Posted by: willow at June 04, 2010 03:09 PM (HyUIR)

151 Sikh's made the Will Wheaton casting decision.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 03:10 PM (DKV43)

152

I was never afraid of the Sikh, before.

But since July 6th, 2007, about 4:30 pm...

"We as a Nation have got to ask ourselves what the heck is going on?

What are these Sikh seeking??"

Posted by: Rainbow Conspiracy Lady at June 04, 2010 03:11 PM (2yLj1)

153 Thomas Edison was a sikh.

Posted by: Editor at June 04, 2010 03:11 PM (pUfK9)

154 Lance isn't a Doper...He's a Secret Sikh.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:13 PM (2yLj1)

155 Sikhret lover....

Posted by: NotAMolly at June 04, 2010 03:13 PM (ADJFU)

156 Barack Obama's birth Certificate lists his religion as Sikh!

Posted by: Conspiracy Moron at June 04, 2010 03:13 PM (2yLj1)

157 Sikhs control the weather with HAARP and mobile wind turbans.

Posted by: Alex Jones at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (w8jfz)

158

Wring out a Turbin and what do you get?

Sikhretions.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:15 PM (2yLj1)

159 sikhs actually control wall street.

Posted by: willow at June 04, 2010 03:18 PM (HyUIR)

160 The Sikhs? They invented and licensed the symbol for The Artist Formerly Known As Prince just before they forced Warner Brothers to cramp his style.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 04, 2010 03:19 PM (swuwV)

161 Bilderbergers? Bah. They're just a front group for the Sikhs.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 04, 2010 03:21 PM (swuwV)

162 The classical music business is controlled by the Haydn Sikhs.

Posted by: Cerebral Paul Z. at June 04, 2010 03:24 PM (sYvA6)

163 Sikhs hack into blog-serving software and replace the initial comment with the text F-I-R-S-T.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 04, 2010 03:25 PM (swuwV)

164

I know the Sikhret Handshake.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:26 PM (2yLj1)

165 The Sikh conspiracy intends to rename everyone in India Rob, Chad, and/or Tina. It's the only explaniation for some tech support I've received.

Posted by: Techie at June 04, 2010 03:27 PM (zbH+i)

166

Jason is a Sikh.

Posted by: garrett at June 04, 2010 03:27 PM (2yLj1)

167 Desperately Sikhing...

Posted by: Susan at June 04, 2010 03:28 PM (2yLj1)

168 The Sikhs put the shama lama ding dong in the shoobie doobie doo.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 04, 2010 03:30 PM (swuwV)

169

_{The Sikhs put the shama lama ding dong in the shoobie doobie doo.}

I'd like to shake their filthy little hands.

Posted by: Indiana Joe Biden at June 04, 2010 03:39 PM (2yLj1)

170

Only a Sikh deals in absolutes.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at June 04, 2010 03:40 PM (Wh0W+)

171 Wasn't Khan Noonian Singh a sikh?
Kkkkkkkhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn!

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at June 04, 2010 03:47 PM (a5ljo)

172 Rudolf Valintino was a Sikh ...

Posted by: Adriane at June 04, 2010 04:08 PM (mXBw3)

173 146 Ron Paul's candidacy was a Sikh conspiracy.

Posted by: Ben at June 04, 2010 07:05 PM (DKV43)

Nonsense! The Sikhs are androids created by the CIA to do the bidding of the Bilderbergers. You'd know this if you subscribed to my newsletter...

Posted by: Ron Paul at June 04, 2010 04:15 PM (k4bdL)

174 Q. What you call a dead jew In a nappy? A. Jesus

Posted by: Shit face jew cohan at June 04, 2010 06:56 PM (cav2y)

175

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Posted by: weight loss at June 07, 2010 04:55 AM (O2kxW)

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