Ace of Spades HQ

June 17, 2010

BP Spills Coffee
— Ace

From the Upright Citizens Brigade.

Of course that means that they must focus on BP alone -- no gags here at the expense of the White House.

Oh, they do get one in on Halliburton. (Update: Weirdly, they get a knock in on... Kevin Costner, who, as far as I know, is actually a hero in this, right? Even if his machines don't work (and they probably will), how do you knock a guy for spending $20 million dollars to clean up oil spills?)

Ah well. Anything to keep the stink of failure and fecklessness away from the White House.

Thanks to redbrewer and Jenjis.

Posted by: Ace at 12:28 PM | Comments (84)
Post contains 111 words, total size 1 kb.

1
wow hello 1999

Posted by: a sign post up ahead at June 17, 2010 12:29 PM (uFokq)

2 I think this thread's formatting is borked.

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at June 17, 2010 12:30 PM (ijjAe)

3 I don't want to say it's old but it's not strictly speaking, er, new.

It is very centered however.

Posted by: DrewM. at June 17, 2010 12:30 PM (X/Lqh)

4 That was forced. Dare I say it insisted upon itself?

Posted by: Alex at June 17, 2010 12:30 PM (3TjEK)

5 Oh this is kinda neat. Center justified for CHANGE!

Posted by: Alex at June 17, 2010 12:31 PM (3TjEK)

6 This is a center-right nation. Or something.

Posted by: dfbaskwill at June 17, 2010 12:31 PM (ndlFj)

7 The center cannot hold.

Posted by: societyis2blame at June 17, 2010 12:32 PM (7ZyYf)

8 Am I missing something here? Where's the beef?

Posted by: Vic at June 17, 2010 12:32 PM (6taRI)

9 Yay fixed! Just like -REDACTED- after his vasectomy!

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at June 17, 2010 12:33 PM (ijjAe)

10 More sad than funny.

Posted by: Spank at June 17, 2010 12:33 PM (xO+6C)

11
The only funny sketch UCB ever did was the ass penny sketch.

Posted by: a sign post up ahead at June 17, 2010 12:33 PM (uFokq)

12 Where's the boot on the neck? Did I miss that part?

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 17, 2010 12:34 PM (Qp4DT)

13 Is this what we were looking for?

http://tinyurl.com/2uytpev

Posted by: Vic at June 17, 2010 12:36 PM (6taRI)

14 I think Ace spilled coffee on his keyboard.

Posted by: Spank at June 17, 2010 12:37 PM (xO+6C)

15
You know what'd be really funny?

If they had some old white guy with a Texan accent come in at the beginning of the sketch and serve them coffee.

Posted by: a sign post up ahead at June 17, 2010 12:37 PM (uFokq)

The centering was gone, but now it's back with a vengeance!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at June 17, 2010 12:38 PM (YVZlY)

17 Yes because the parallels with the ease of stopping and cleaning up a coffee spill and stopping and cleaning up a major oil leak almost a mile underwater are so close that you wonder why this couldn't be solved with a role of Brawny.

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 17, 2010 12:39 PM (0q2P7)

18 So, can I use the same formatting ace uses to balance the budget?

Posted by: Preznit Barry at June 17, 2010 12:39 PM (pUfK9)

19 Lots of grumpy people out there. It's like folks have lost their moral center.

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:39 PM (RD7QR)

20 It doesn't look centered on Ace's monitor...

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at June 17, 2010 12:39 PM (YVZlY)

21 Didn't they used to be daring?

Posted by: Trotter at June 17, 2010 12:39 PM (u9pUn)

22 The wonder isn't that that sketch isn't funny. The wonder is that many sentient beings acted in, and produced that sketch, and none apprehended that it wasn't funny.

Posted by: ParisParamus at June 17, 2010 12:40 PM (GgR+e)

23 CENTER

The new Left Align

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 17, 2010 12:40 PM (0q2P7)

24 Nice to see you wingnuts moving toward the center at last!

Posted by: David Brooks at June 17, 2010 12:41 PM (BKIC5)

25
Remember when Amy Poehler was almost kinda cute? Have you seen her lately? She looks like the back of me ballbag.

Posted by: a sign post up ahead at June 17, 2010 12:41 PM (uFokq)

See! We told all you stupid right wingers you need to move to the middle! Looks like we were right all along. "High five, David!"

"Right back at you, brother!"

Posted by: Teh Davids Frum and Brooks at June 17, 2010 12:42 PM (CfmlF)

27 Haiku is central
to any self respecting
amateur blog poster

Posted by: Preznit Barry at June 17, 2010 12:42 PM (pUfK9)

28

Halliburton actually drew up the proper plans for BP, explicating what was required to install in advance in order to prevent what BP caused to happen by cutting corners. And BP chose to ignore the facts.

Posted by: maverick muse at June 17, 2010 12:42 PM (H+LJc)

29 I remember when comedy was funny

Posted by: beedubya at June 17, 2010 12:42 PM (AnTyA)

30 CENTERED

Posted by: maverick muse at June 17, 2010 12:42 PM (H+LJc)

31 Oh good, it was da Preznit that posted it, so I don't have to claim the 6th syllable.

Posted by: Editor at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM (pUfK9)

Always knew Ace was a centrist.

Posted by: Anachronda at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM (3K4hn)

33 No use crying over spilt coffee!

Posted by: Barack Oblahblah at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM (CfmlF)

I get it. All this centering is to make everyone's comment "straight", isn't it?

HOMOPHOBE!

Posted by: NJConservative at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM (VmtE9)

35 The Upright Citizens Brigade knew about the whole thing back in March.

_{I keed}

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at June 17, 2010 12:43 PM (BKIC5)

36 OT....

But new legislation introduced designed to give the Feds a "kill switch" to teh Interwebs.

http://tinyurl.com/2uqks37

Posted by: fixerupper at June 17, 2010 12:44 PM (J5Hcw)

37 Remember when Amy Poehler was almost kinda cute?

Hmm.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm...

No.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at June 17, 2010 12:44 PM (BKIC5)

38 We need to stop punching center and start beating down!

Posted by: Drumguy at June 17, 2010 12:44 PM (CfmlF)

39 sit on a potato pan, otis
a man, a plan, a canal, panama
no evil lived on
able was I ere I saw elba
madam, I'm adam

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 17, 2010 12:44 PM (pNI9U)

40 first drew, now Ace. Learn to close your damn tags morons!

Posted by: Dunkirk at June 17, 2010 12:45 PM (kbHJ6)

If you center it -- he will come.

Posted by: fartmonkey at June 17, 2010 12:45 PM (7DB+a)

42 How long can you last watching this vid?
I made it about 35 seconds.

Posted by: fb at June 17, 2010 12:46 PM (G60Nl)

43 I'd watch it but since I've seen it a while ago on every other blog and T.V. I'll just post inane dribble instead.

Posted by: Bosk at June 17, 2010 12:46 PM (pUO5u)

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:46 PM (RD7QR)

45 I've found it...

Posted by: MikeTheMoose at June 17, 2010 12:46 PM (0q2P7)

46 So did that work?

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:46 PM (RD7QR)

47 This cannot hold.

Posted by: William Butler Yeats at June 17, 2010 12:47 PM (BKIC5)

48 I would like to apologize for the formatting.

Posted by: Rep Joe Barton (R- doghouse) at June 17, 2010 12:47 PM (R2fpr)

49 42

If you center it -- he will come.

Posted by: fartmonkey at June 17, 2010 04:45 PM (7DB+a)

That's what she said.

Posted by: Michael Scott at June 17, 2010 12:47 PM (YVZlY)

50 And the point of that sketch was what?
Is comedy even funny anymore?
I have lost faith in comedy. So sad. It wasn't even satirical, just stupid and wrong.

Posted by: soulpile at June 17, 2010 12:48 PM (afWhQ)

51 How many of the people in that room were Nobel Prize winners or top tier academics?

Posted by: huerfano at June 17, 2010 12:48 PM (rqC5o)

52 No, I guess not. At least you're not using a deprecated tag.

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:48 PM (RD7QR)

53 So when "comedians" like this are brainstorming ideas for a sketch about an event like this, is there ever a moment when someone laughingly suggests something like "and we could have Obama come in at the end and act all surprised that something happened" -- only to have the other "comedians" glare at him and say "IDEOLOGICALLY IMPURE!"

Or are their brains simply incapable of forming ideas critical of the One?

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 17, 2010 12:49 PM (pNI9U)

54 51 And the point of that sketch was what?

Oil Companies Are Evil, as far as I can tell.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at June 17, 2010 12:49 PM (BKIC5)

That's what she said.

LOL!

Posted by: Drumguy at June 17, 2010 12:50 PM (CfmlF)

56 55 Oil Companies Are Evil, as far as I can tell.

Well, duh. It's not like that's news.
/s

Posted by: soulpile at June 17, 2010 12:52 PM (afWhQ)

57 Michael Scott & Drumguy got all fancy 'n shit with their formatting.

Posted by: Bono at June 17, 2010 12:53 PM (pUfK9)

58 Actually,
This Formatting is Pretty Neat!
Rather like
The Title Page of a Novel
Published In
The Nineteenth Century

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 17, 2010 12:53 PM (pNI9U)

That's what she said.

LOL!

Posted by: Drumguy at June 17, 2010 04:50 PM (CfmlF)

Oooo... I can do it, too?

Posted by: Editor at June 17, 2010 12:53 PM (pUfK9)

I'm to the left of you boners... wait, what?

Posted by: Editor at June 17, 2010 12:54 PM (pUfK9)

61 text-align: left;

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:54 PM (RD7QR)

It was almost funny.

Seriously. This close.

Obama outside the conference room, assuring the donut-eating "public" that he's been in charge since day one, and then never being seen again for the rest of the video would have been just about perfect.

Posted by: reason at June 17, 2010 12:54 PM (XiVKO)

63 How about that?

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:54 PM (RD7QR)

64 Left, I say!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at June 17, 2010 12:55 PM (YVZlY)

65 Damn. I'm just reaching with the CSS. Seriously, Ace, get DiT to fix the CSS, please?

Posted by: joncelli at June 17, 2010 12:55 PM (RD7QR)

THIS IS A FORMAT-TAG CRISIS THE LIKES OF WHICH THE BLOGOSPHERE HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

CLEARLY WE NEED BETTER GOVERNMENTAL OVERSIGHT ON TEXT ALIGNMENT! I HAVE ISSUED A SIX-MONTH MORATORIUM ON RIGHT-JUSTIFICATION.

^{(Hey Nan...what do you think you can do with CAPS and Trade?)}

Posted by: Barack H. Oblogga at June 17, 2010 12:57 PM (XiVKO)

"And the point of that sketch was what?
Oil Companies Are Evil, as far as I can tell."

And dumb. Don't forget dumb. Blithering idiots.

Posted by: reason at June 17, 2010 01:03 PM (XiVKO)

68 I HAVE BEEN ON TOP OF THIS CRISIS SINCE COMMENT #1!

Posted by: Barack H. Oblogga at June 17, 2010 01:05 PM (XiVKO)

69 We have our boot on the throat of Pixy.

Posted by: Bloggert Gibbs at June 17, 2010 01:06 PM (XiVKO)

70 Here's another question:
Why aren't the "small people" mentioned?
If they really wanted to go after BP, that would be a good place to start.

Posted by: soulpile at June 17, 2010 01:11 PM (afWhQ)

71 I think this video came out before the unintentional butt-hurting of coastal commoners.

Posted by: reason at June 17, 2010 01:13 PM (XiVKO)

72 <style type="text/css">
div {
text-align: right;
}
</style>
<div>Fuck all of you.</div>

Posted by: Pat Buchanan at June 17, 2010 01:14 PM (BKIC5)

73 72 - ah. Wonder if they'd have included it anyway. It's too close to iWon's sensibilities.

Posted by: soulpile at June 17, 2010 01:18 PM (afWhQ)

74 I think the tag is on the line "thanks to rdbrewer and jenjis."

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 17, 2010 01:20 PM (zRQZ4)

75

I coulda used this
when typing title pages
for
my High School term papers

Posted by: Ed Anger at June 17, 2010 01:24 PM (7+pP9)

76 I got this in an email as soon as it came out and promptly posted it here...it's funny and sad all in the same way....

Posted by: curious at June 17, 2010 01:29 PM (p302b)

77 Clowns to the left of me Unfunny self-absorbed media class improv whores to the right Here I am, stuck in the middle with you

Posted by: Rajiv Vindaloo at June 17, 2010 01:29 PM (BZ2Bm)

78 Check this out.

Back in the early 80s, the "Free to Choose" series featured this entrepreneur.

http://is.gd/cTitP

Zombie Friedman strikes back!

Posted by: wtfci at June 17, 2010 01:38 PM (R4rMI)

Heh, soul.

"But they are little people...didn't you see me next to Jindal? I tower over him..."

Posted by: reason at June 17, 2010 01:45 PM (kZVsz)

80 HELLO
HELLO
hello
_hello....
....

Posted by: Bender Bending Rodriguez at June 17, 2010 02:42 PM (5LYVy)

Wow. That vid was so unfunny, i just about died of old age.

What are you smokin', dude?

Posted by: Log Cabin at June 17, 2010 03:12 PM (kSMh6)

82 How do you know that a comedy sketch is Pretty Damned Unfunny?

When 90% of the comments are not just about the comments, but about the formatting of the comments.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong On His Mountain at June 17, 2010 05:13 PM (bxiXv)

83 laptop batteries laptop batteries

Posted by: laptop batteries at August 26, 2010 05:13 PM (l6w/z)

84 iPad to iTunes Transfer ia an all-in-one ipad transfer tool. United four tools into one, this iPad to iTunes Transfer can be considerred as the best assistant when dealing with iPad stuffs. As an iPad uer, you can use iPad to iTunes Transfer as a iPad to Computer Transfer, Computer to iPad Transfer, iPad Converter, DVD to iPad Transfer, even it can be used as a hard drive to manage iPad files in good order.

Posted by: iPad to iTunes Transfer at November 20, 2010 07:45 PM (k84do)

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