Ace of Spades HQ

June 03, 2010

CentCom: Taliban "shadow governor" captured
— Purple Avenger

What heartless brutes! Now this poor Taliban fellow has joined the ranks of the unemployed and will likely be defaulting on his mortgage.

...The newly appointed Taliban shadow governor of Baghlan province was captured May 31 by an Afghan-international force as he prepared to leave for Pakistan.

His predecessor was killed in a coalition airstrike the previous day, and this capture marks the third time in as many weeks that the Taliban have had to replace named shadow governors for Baghlan province because of coalition operations...

Three shadow governors in three weeks is a pretty bad retention rate. I'm thinking these governors need to unionize.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 09:30 AM | Comments (57)
Post contains 113 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Captured, shit. It would have been better if this was one of those "killed by xx and .50BMG, but mostly .50BMG".

With a capture he will be back on the street again in 30 days.

Posted by: Vic at June 03, 2010 09:33 AM (6taRI)

2 Who is going to do the questioning?

Posted by: Have Blue at June 03, 2010 09:33 AM (mV+es)

3 Actually it's 4 in 4 weeks: We offered one a position as Secretary for the Navy.

Posted by: Robert Gibbs at June 03, 2010 09:33 AM (FkKjr)

4 Three shadow governors in three weeks is a pretty bad retention rate. I'm thinking these governors need to unionize.

Well that would be the fastest way to decrease their overall performance and efficacy.

Posted by: taylork at June 03, 2010 09:33 AM (0Hn5w)

5 It's almost like taking the fight to the enemy works, or something.

Posted by: pinche migra at June 03, 2010 09:34 AM (pEKxc)

Three shadow governors in three weeks is a pretty bad retention rate. I'm thinking these governors need to unionize.

Hey, it's hard to unionize while your getting vaporized.

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 09:34 AM (OlN4e)

7 It's almost like taking the fight to the enemy works, or something.

I'm pretty sure a strongly worded letter works best.

Posted by: Hans Blix at June 03, 2010 09:35 AM (0Hn5w)

8 Also A senior al Qaeda operative was killed along with a Taliban commander in last week's airstrike in Pakistan's lawless tribal agency of South Waziristan. http://tinyurl.com/279tpks

Posted by: Jean at June 03, 2010 09:36 AM (tJF9l)

9 That's a high turnover rate for that job. Maybe they should offer better benefits.

Posted by: EC at June 03, 2010 09:36 AM (mAhn3)

10 What's with the Disney World ad I'm seeing up there? Has the Adsense algorithm gone daft? Or do the advertisers know something about the AOSHQ demographic that the rest of us don't know?

Posted by: Robert Stacy McCain at June 03, 2010 09:36 AM (dFwq1)

11 Speaking of Hans Blix, what the fuck is that worthless Scandi up to now?

Posted by: taylork at June 03, 2010 09:37 AM (0Hn5w)

12 Yeah, he'll default on his mortgage. But that would be strategic on his part, since real estate values in his neck of the woods have plunged into the dirt over the last few years, and he's probably severely under water as it is.

Posted by: Intrepid at June 03, 2010 09:37 AM (92zkk)

Oooh! Oooohh!

Put me in charge of his interrogation!

Pretty please?

I promise I won't let him bleed. Much.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy at June 03, 2010 09:37 AM (i3AsK)

14 I'm thinking these governors need to unionize.

Are you sure they aren't already unionized? They seem to go out in strikes regularly.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at June 03, 2010 09:37 AM (tf9Ne)

15 I wonder who Obama's shadow governor is.

Posted by: Hanky Panky at June 03, 2010 09:38 AM (gLNLT)

16
Obama's policies are only creating more terrorists.

Right?

Posted by: Boo Berry at June 03, 2010 09:38 AM (uFokq)

17 I hope he got his stock options up front.

Posted by: damian at June 03, 2010 09:38 AM (4WbTI)

18 "Or do the advertisers know something about the AOSHQ demographic that the rest of us don't know?"

Yeah, bitches. We like it here. It is a small world, after all.

Posted by: Micky "The Moron" Mouse at June 03, 2010 09:38 AM (92zkk)

19 If the Taliban's choice was captured, does that mean the DNC choice will run unopposed?

Posted by: t-bird at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (FcR7P)

20 15 I wonder who Obama's shadow governor is.

Soros?

Posted by: pinche migra at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (pEKxc)

Is the Taliban Shadow Governor kind of the like the Shadow Foreign Minister of England? How does this work?

Or is it Lamar Cranston?

Posted by: Ben at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (wuv1c)

22 What's with the Disney World ad I'm seeing up there? Has the Adsense algorithm gone daft? Or do the advertisers know something about the AOSHQ demographic that the rest of us don't know?

Should you be working on getting Debbie Lorenzana a post at the HQ McCain?

Posted by: taylork at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (0Hn5w)

23 15 I wonder who Obama's shadow governor is.

Either Bill Ayers or George Soros.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (9hSKh)

24 I wonder who Obama's shadow governor is.

I'd say Sponge Bob, but I don't want to disrespect Sponge Bob.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at June 03, 2010 09:39 AM (i1I5h)

25

Or do the advertisers know something about the AOSHQ demographic that the rest of us don't know?

They're target-marketing rum.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 03, 2010 09:41 AM (fx8sm)

26 Yep, I've done this aspiring governor too. I have a thing for those who seek the top state office......

Posted by: Will Folks at June 03, 2010 09:41 AM (92zkk)

27 This is why Afghanistan needs Card Check.

Posted by: stuiec at June 03, 2010 09:41 AM (W+GYq)

28 I've done some long range prairie dog hunting with a .270 in New Mexico and West Texas. Didn't really enjoy it all that much except to thump a dog at 300 yards was a challenge with a 4X scope. I would imagine thumping a Taliban at 800 yards with a Barrett rifle is much more satisfying. They explode in such a loud grotesque manner

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 09:41 AM (OlN4e)

Hey, weren't these guys the spiritual leaders of the Taliban? And weren't we supposed to be practicing smart diplomacy and trying to understand their grievances? This is why they hate us.

/sarc

Posted by: RM at June 03, 2010 09:43 AM (GkYyh)

30 They explode in such a loud grotesque manner

You can hear it @800yds?

Posted by: pinche migra at June 03, 2010 09:43 AM (pEKxc)

Team ACHMED strikes again.

Avoidance

Chronic

Headaches

Made

Explosive

Devices

Posted by: Centcom Press Release at June 03, 2010 09:43 AM (Zi+FQ)

32 OT Megyn on Fox says the CEO of BP is about to make a statement. Wonder if he's going to announce a need to spend more time with his family. If so, he's finally getting his life back!

Posted by: Intrepid at June 03, 2010 09:43 AM (92zkk)

I'd say Sponge Bob, but I don't want to disrespect Sponge Bob.

Now there's a guy with creased pants.

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 09:43 AM (OlN4e)

You can hear it @800yds?

I'm sure you can. You can sure hear a .30 caliber bullet hit a buck at 200+ yards. Makes a "whump" a "plop" means a bad hit. I expect a 670 grain .50 BNG bullet makes quite a "whump" when it hits a man at 2700 fps.

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 09:46 AM (OlN4e)

35
OT: Vander Sloot still breathing our air, unfortunately.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 03, 2010 09:47 AM (fx8sm)

I'd say Sponge Bob, but I don't want to disrespect Sponge Bob.

PA I regret to inform you that Spong Bob passed away a week ago when the oil ploom over took his pinnapple under the sea.

Posted by: Ben at June 03, 2010 09:47 AM (wuv1c)

PA I regret to inform you that Spong Bob passed away a week ago when the oil ploom over took his pinnapple under the sea.

Mercy killing, I understand he suffered from "crusty crabs".

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 09:50 AM (OlN4e)

38 PA I regret to inform you that Spong Bob passed away a week ago when the oil ploom over took his pinnapple under the sea.

I hear he dropped on the deck and flopped like a fish.

Posted by: pinche migra at June 03, 2010 09:53 AM (pEKxc)

Is there a dead pool set up for these guys somewhere?

Posted by: unknown jane at June 03, 2010 09:58 AM (5/yRG)

have plunged into the dirt over the last few years

I imagine his house probably is dirt...

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 03, 2010 09:58 AM (RZ8pf)

They're target-marketing rum.

I was thinking the same thing! Not that she needs much enticement to head to Disneyland.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 03, 2010 09:59 AM (RZ8pf)

42 Not Disneyland, the kids are already asking to go - and the Great Wolf Lodge, whatever that is?

Posted by: Jean at June 03, 2010 10:05 AM (mXHTU)

43 Great Wolf Lodge is a very expensive hotel with an awesome waterpark attached, only people who stay at the hotel can use the waterpark. The one out here also has this cool thing where the kids get wands and go around the hotel and follow clues. There's also a "kids spa" that is very spendy. I have yet to go, but everyone I know who has gone to the one out here loves it, except for the price.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 03, 2010 10:08 AM (RZ8pf)

44 Thank PGiS, it must be advertised subliminally in their cereal or something.

Posted by: Jean at June 03, 2010 10:11 AM (OlnxK)

45
I hear he dropped on the deck and flopped like a fish.

Posted by: pinche migra at June 03, 2010 01:53 PM (pEKxc)

This is torture for me and my brothers and is similar to water boarding, outlawed by all kind and compassionate nations like Iran, Cuba, and Venezuela.

Posted by: Fish at June 03, 2010 10:20 AM (v1gw3)

46
Three shadow governors in three weeks is a pretty bad retention rate. I'm thinking these governors need to unionize.

They need to adopt a time-honored platform: If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve.

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at June 03, 2010 10:23 AM (1hM1d)

47 Instead of getting unionized, he just got ionized.

Posted by: Trimegistus at June 03, 2010 10:29 AM (TZJPP)

Theses successes are necessary to get the job done, but not sufficient to get the job done. The choice Afghans have right now is between the Taliban or the Karzai government. Karzai & Co. are a stinking mess. Unless a third path is found, this is not going to end well.

By the way, does anybody else think the announced 2011 pullout date is subject to Obama-style revision without notice?

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at June 03, 2010 10:39 AM (w41GQ)

PA I regret to inform you that Spong Bob passed away a week ago when the oil ploom over took his pinnapple under the sea.

Mercy killing, I understand he suffered from "crusty crabs".

Posted by: maddogg at June 03, 2010 01:50 PM (OlN4e)

I heard it was ick.

this poor Taliban fellow has joined the ranks of the unemployed and will likely be defaulting on his mortgage.

And PA, you bring teh funneh.

Posted by: RushBabe at June 03, 2010 11:00 AM (W8m8i)

50 I miss "X and Y, but mostly Y".

*snif*

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 03, 2010 11:19 AM (E4Pj8)

51 Praise Allah! Look at all these infidel union organizers in purple shirts in front of my cave!

Posted by: The Next Taliban Shadow Governor at June 03, 2010 11:23 AM (3PeMR)

1 Captured, shit. It would have been better if this was one of those "killed by xx and .50BMG, but mostly .50BMG".

Vic, that is VERY insensitive of you.

Waterboard first to get any info, then the .50BMG

Posted by: Elliot Spitzer at June 03, 2010 11:31 AM (N7JHR)

53
Three governors in three weeks: not even Illinois is that bad.

Posted by: Brown Line at June 03, 2010 11:35 AM (VrNoa)

54 I don't think the word "shadow" means what they think it means.

Posted by: sifty at June 03, 2010 11:39 AM (LccuO)

What's the over/under for demands he be flown to NYC, given Miranda reading and an arraignment in a civil court?

Posted by: chuck in st paul at June 03, 2010 12:47 PM (adr25)

56 Shadow governors are just a shadow of what they used to be.

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