Ace of Spades HQ

December 08, 2010

Christmas Tip Jar
— LauraW

The biggest holiday of the year is now rushing us like a pack of ravening Russian wolves.

And one little ewok is standing out in the cold facing the onslaught with no support except for the indulgence of a few spastic twits such as yourselves, my sweetie-sweet darling hearts.

Cool Fact about AOSHQ: It's not the only blog where the commenters argue daily that the host is an asshole; but it IS the only one where there is a 50% chance that after much debate and clarification the host can be brought over to their point of view.

That's kind of special, don't you think?
Yeah, the cob-loggers are doing a bleg again without Ace's knowledge or consent. Because otherwise he always says 'no.'

Won't you please click the Paypal button and drop a little holiday cheer into Ace's life?
It might be the best way to prevent another horrifying SluShop™ like this one from infesting your nightmares again anytime soon:

Thanks to 'someone' for the idea and the great timing.

Posted by: LauraW at 10:18 AM | Comments (186)
Post contains 177 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Will do!

Posted by: logprof at December 08, 2010 06:46 AM (BP6Z1)

2 Now awaiting a re-telling of that classic, "The Little Matchstick Ewok."

Posted by: logprof at December 08, 2010 06:46 AM (BP6Z1)

3 Cool fact about AoSHQ: Yeah, we do kiss our moms with these mouths.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 08, 2010 06:50 AM (cHEw0)

4 Did it! Do I get to smoke a cigarette now???

Posted by: Catlady at December 08, 2010 06:52 AM (Qh1k+)

5 Paypal sucks big green diseased Obama dicks, but I gave anyway.

Posted by: John Galt at December 08, 2010 06:52 AM (F/4zf)

6 I gave half my net worth, or enough for a fifth of ValuRite, whichever is lower.

Cheers!

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2010 06:54 AM (h0RtZ)

7 6 I gave half my net worth.

I'd do the same, but half of nothing is still...nothing.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 08, 2010 06:55 AM (9hSKh)

8 CFAAOSHQ: In order to save bandwidth, the blog randomly bans chunks of commenters for no reason whatsoever, kind of like those 'rolling blackouts' they were doing in CA a few years back.

Posted by: lauraw at December 08, 2010 06:55 AM (diBWH)

9 Just call it bail money and get it over with.

Posted by: eman at December 08, 2010 06:58 AM (b1GWR)

10 Yea, I hit it. I hit it hard.

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 06:58 AM (LdYLm)

Aha! Using paypal? I can show you how to use it to gather private information and "out" people later.

Oh, and any site where dissent is allowed is a hateful rightwingnut creationist bigothole.

Posted by: Charles Johnson, Cookbook Salesman at December 08, 2010 06:58 AM (MFOq8)

12 OT: Judge Porteous has been convicted.

Posted by: Gran at December 08, 2010 06:59 AM (xmjMj)

13 Thanks for the reminder Laura.

Posted by: krakatoa at December 08, 2010 07:00 AM (a0Jhx)

14 What kind of things does Wicket leave in little Ewoks' stockings?

Posted by: EC at December 08, 2010 07:02 AM (mAhn3)

15 CFAAOSHQ: In order to save bandwidth, the blog randomly bans chunks of commenters for no reason whatsoever, kind of like those 'rolling blackouts' they were doing in CA a few years back.

Yet spammers run amok.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:02 AM (QV82F)

16 Alright, I gave my tip, now where's my shitty calender?

Posted by: taylork at December 08, 2010 07:02 AM (4yrb2)

17 Oh, and any site where dissent is allowed is a hateful rightwingnut creationist bigothole.

Ok, took me a sec to figure out what a "big ot hole" was.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:03 AM (QV82F)

18 NO THEY DID NOT entice us with ewoks,,,,

Posted by: str8 outta at December 08, 2010 07:04 AM (dwOwg)

19 Alright, I gave my tip, now where's my shitty calender?

Here ya go.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:05 AM (QV82F)

20 but it IS the only one where there is a 50% chance that after much debate and clarification the host can be brought over to their point of view.

And this!

This is why AoS is so important to me, because Ace walks the walk when it comes to the true spirit of debate. He is intellectually honest enough to sincerely listen and weigh others opinions. I am so done with pundits who are incapable of allowing that they may have ever been mistaken.

We should all be so open to critical thought.

Posted by: krakatoa at December 08, 2010 07:08 AM (a0Jhx)

Sent some dough. Merry Christmas Ace and the cob-loggers! And may your first child be a masculine child.

Posted by: Luca Brasi at December 08, 2010 07:09 AM (YmPwQ)

22 Alright, I gave my tip, now where's my shitty calender?

Here ya go.

I may have to actually by that.

Posted by: taylork at December 08, 2010 07:09 AM (4yrb2)

23 All I want is pictures of guys in tight pants. Granted, you could call them 'football players' but butt shots would be welcome

Posted by: ¤§EZB§¤ at December 08, 2010 07:09 AM (Ty06w)

24
I may have to actually by that.

First I may want to buy a spelling tutor.

Posted by: taylork at December 08, 2010 07:10 AM (4yrb2)

25 I promise I'll just put in the tip.

Posted by: Somebody had to say it at December 08, 2010 07:12 AM (tf9Ne)

but it IS the only one where there is a 50% chance that after much debate and clarification the host can be brought over to their point of view.

100% if when he double posts it.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:12 AM (XdlcF)

27 Jesus. Bloomberg is a bigger cockholster than Zero. I can't believe the stupid fucker thinks he could ever be President. He has to BUY the Mayor's office. Even that bastard can't afford to buy the Presidency.

Posted by: maddogg at December 08, 2010 07:13 AM (OlN4e)

28 CFAAOSHQ: People now bring pudding to political events and they think it is appropriate to ask me if I have ever put my love spuds in it.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 08, 2010 07:14 AM (B2LxR)

29 Dear Ace: you let my post go through on the Obama presidential debate live blog that one time. Here's 10 bucks. That oughtta be good for some Val-u-rite.

Posted by: EM August at December 08, 2010 07:14 AM (zeBNm)

30
It's time.

It's time to put the co-bloggers up for vote for elimination.

And some commenters, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer for RNC Chair at December 08, 2010 07:16 AM (uFokq)

31 Laura if you will email me a shipping address, I'll send you some of "the package" I got on election day. The ewok will be happy.

Kemp

Posted by: Kemp at December 08, 2010 07:16 AM (vSiVD)

32 @32 TWO COBLOGGERS ENTER. ONE COBLOGGER LEAVES.

Posted by: EM August at December 08, 2010 07:17 AM (zeBNm)

33 OT There sure are a lot of unions in that list of ObamaCare exemptions over at Drudge. Funny how that works.

Posted by: t-bird at December 08, 2010 07:18 AM (FcR7P)

34 I went to the mall and opened all the unlocked car doors I could find and rummaged through the ashtrays and under the seats for loose change. From their floorboards to your account, Ace. Enjoy!!11!!1111!

Posted by: The Hammer at December 08, 2010 07:18 AM (32ubA)

People now bring pudding to political events and they think it is appropriate to ask me if I have ever put my love spuds in it.

I absolutely refuse to make a DADT joke about that.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:18 AM (XdlcF)

36 CFAAOSHQ: Putting the Eww in Ewwok since 1956.

Posted by: Hobo, Running at December 08, 2010 07:21 AM (l1oyw)

" it IS the only one where there is a 50% chance that after much debate and clarification the host can be brought over to their point of view."

I would agree, but like a DC elected representative of our Republic, the host does not recall, in a few days time, his epiphany and reverts to form.

An unreformable masochist.

Posted by: gary gulrud at December 08, 2010 07:21 AM (/g2vP)

38 CFAAOSHQ: In Soviet Russia, Ewok tip YOU.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 08, 2010 07:22 AM (WvXvd)

39 Done!!

Posted by: Velvet Ambition at December 08, 2010 07:23 AM (kJCit)

40 It's time.

It's time to put the co-bloggers up for vote for elimination.

And some commenters, too.
Posted by: Soothsayer for RNC Chair at December 08, 2010 11:16 AM (uFokq)

An obvious Tea Party conspiracy. And after what you people did to the fabric of the republic on Dancing with the Stars.....

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at December 08, 2010 07:26 AM (U6LOz)

Heh. Do the sub-bloggers can an exemption?

Posted by: CDR M at December 08, 2010 11:21 AM (5I8G0)

Can the sub-commenters get an exemption too?

Posted by: GnuBreed at December 08, 2010 07:27 AM (h0RtZ)

42 For Christmas, you get....me!

Posted by: Tips O'Toole at December 08, 2010 07:27 AM (h86wX)

43 Can the sub-commenters get an exemption too?

I am reminded of Norm McDonald's SNL joke about "assistant crack whores."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at December 08, 2010 07:29 AM (U6LOz)

An even better suggestion is to use PayPal to set up a monthly transfer.

Is 5 bucks a month too much to pay for the joy of trying to use TinyUrl??

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:31 AM (XdlcF)

An unreformable masochist.

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:34 AM (XdlcF)

46 The best thing I can say about the Ewok: He is not a biter, he's a humper.

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 07:35 AM (LdYLm)

47 What kind of things does Wicket leave in little Ewoks' stockings?

Posted by: EC

Dear God, who would want to know that??

Posted by: Blue Hen at December 08, 2010 07:36 AM (R2fpr)

48 Jesus may be the Reason for the Season, but Pudding is the Reason for the Pleasin'.

Posted by: Abby Adams at December 08, 2010 07:37 AM (pLTLS)

49 CFAAOSHQ: The only blog where readers can be referred to as 'spastic twits' in a fundraiser post and it doesn't raise an eyebrow.

Posted by: lauraw at December 08, 2010 07:37 AM (diBWH)

50 I put 30 bucks and a zip lock bag of someone else's pubes in the tip jar. Just don't ask me where I got those pubes or what I had to to to get them, ok?

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 07:38 AM (wuv1c)

51 CFAAOSHQ: The only blog where readers can be referred to as 'spastic twits' in a fundraiser post and it doesn't raise an eyebrow.

Nobody sweet talks like you, darlin'.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:39 AM (QV82F)

52 Another TEA party terrorist, I'm sure.

Posted by: maddogg at December 08, 2010 07:39 AM (OlN4e)

CFAAOSHQ: The only blog where readers can be referred to as 'spastic twits' in a fundraiser post and it doesn't raise an their one eyebrow.

And the only blog where 'U' is for strikeout and nobody notices.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:40 AM (XdlcF)

54 So can Ace match O'Donnell's fundraising totals?

Only if he wears the ladybug costume. Or maybe if he threatens to wear it.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:40 AM (QV82F)

55 56 CFAAOSHQ: The only blog where readers can be referred to as 'spastic twits' in a fundraiser post and it doesn't raise an eyebrow.

Stick and stones. At least we don't possess multiple greasy humps, useful only for scorn and ridicule.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 08, 2010 07:41 AM (9hSKh)

56 Maybe we should all chip in to buy the Ewok these Xray proof underwear:

http://tinyurl.com/369as65

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 07:41 AM (LdYLm)

57 Another cool fact about the HQ? It is the only popular blog who has a blogroll of 99% defunct links

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 07:41 AM (wuv1c)

58 LOL ... I love the cob-loggers.

Seriously, though, this place gives me so many laughs throughout the year. Count me in.

Posted by: Bust of Churchill at December 08, 2010 07:42 AM (8/DeP)

>> So with the tip jar hit, can we haz a Thursday Night Football thread Dave?

Si.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 08, 2010 07:42 AM (WvXvd)

60 That's very Scott Tenorman of you!

Heh. Was waiting for the SP reference.

Posted by: mpur in Texas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at December 08, 2010 07:43 AM (QV82F)

61 OT: Let's Do the Time Warp Again!

I posted something similar, I think by the same guy, a while back. Ruskie WWII ghosts appearing in contemporary settings.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 08, 2010 07:44 AM (xxgag)

62 Ok, chipped in my $8.71

Now can we get an inspirational picture to motivate us to kick in more?

Posted by: I'm just joshin... at December 08, 2010 07:46 AM (iJl9z)

63

logprof:

Have any interest in a mid 80s hard copy of MIL-STD 1388-2A?

Posted by: Ed Anger at December 08, 2010 07:46 AM (7+pP9)

64 Now I'm going to go brave the lines at the Commissary so I can save a few dollars to keep the Ewok in pudding.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:46 AM (XdlcF)

65 Without AoSHQ, I would have never found out about lace wigs or machines for sale.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 08, 2010 07:47 AM (9hSKh)

66 I just put fifty bucks in the tip jar.

Posted by: Imelda at December 08, 2010 07:50 AM (jVKNj)

67 Africa remains a hopeless shit hole.

Posted by: maddogg at December 08, 2010 07:51 AM (OlN4e)

68 CFAAOSHQ: The only blog where it has to be mentioned to use paypal so the tip jar isn't just filled with the tips of hobo appendages.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at December 08, 2010 07:51 AM (tf9Ne)

Heh. At least they have the self check-out lines now. That's only good though when people in front of you know how to use the damn things though.

They are a nightmare for me. I know how to use them, but I always have the item that won't ring up right, or doesn't register on the scales etc. By the end, the frustration level makes it more of a punishment than a 'service'. Sheesh...easier going through the checkout line--- if it's long, I read a magazine.

Posted by: ¤§EZB§¤ at December 08, 2010 07:53 AM (Ty06w)

Heh. At least they have the self check-out lines now. That's only good though when people in front of you know how to use the damn things though.

Yeh, well, keeping 3 kids from bumping into the weigh sensitive thingies is not easy...

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 07:53 AM (XdlcF)

71
You wanna be sick?

Here's what reality "stars" are making this year from their shows, appearances, and endoresments.
The Top 10:
1. Kim Kardashian, $6 mil
2. Lauren Conrad, $5 mil
3. Bethenny Frankel, $4 mil
4. Audrina Patrige, $3.5 mil
5. Kate Gosselin, $3.5 mil
6. The Situation, $3 mil
7. Khloe Kardashian, $2.5 mil
8. Kourtney Kardashian, $2.5 mil
9. Pauly D, $2 mil
10. Kendra Wilkinson, $2 mil

_{^{wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee}^!}

Posted by: the slide of civilization at December 08, 2010 07:53 AM (uFokq)

72
The Kardashians, three of them, look like fucking hooo-yas.

Posted by: the slide of civilization at December 08, 2010 07:55 AM (uFokq)

73 We're from the UN, and we are here to help.

Posted by: maddogg at December 08, 2010 07:56 AM (OlN4e)

74 63
Stick and stones. At least we don't possess multiple greasy humps, useful only for scorn and ridicule.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 08, 2010 11:41 AM (9hSKh)

Jealous bitch.

Posted by: lauraw at December 08, 2010 07:59 AM (diBWH)

The blog also runs a farm team from which cobloggers are occasionally sent up. Nice opportunity, that.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 07:59 AM (ue0dE)

76 OK, I gave you 5 bucks and not a penny more! But I'm a piker, so live with it.

Posted by: Fortunata at December 08, 2010 08:00 AM (90H1N)

77
hoo-ahs, rather

Posted by: the slide of civilization at December 08, 2010 08:01 AM (uFokq)

78 Save me from the scary ewok-santa, Miss Laura! And what are those things on your back?

Posted by: Cindy Lou joncelli© at December 08, 2010 08:02 AM (RD7QR)

79 Speaking of time warps, one of Hitler and Himmler's good buddies get outed.

Posted by: WalrusRex at December 08, 2010 08:02 AM (xxgag)

80 Lauraw, "someone" should be forced to capitalize the "s" in his/her name. I mean, jeez, why don't we just use up all the articles and conjunctions while we're at it. I'll be "the."

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 08:03 AM (ue0dE)

81 In for 16.41, sometimes I put my .02 in twice a day and this is well worth the laughs.

It's also the only place I know where you get threatened with a cute Santa Ewok vs. the implied I don't even wanna guess what that furry pervert and Rudolph are doing.

Posted by: Dave at December 08, 2010 08:04 AM (2LwW2)

82
Yeh, well, keeping 3 kids from bumping into the weigh sensitive thingies is not easy...

Duct Tape

Posted by: IllTemperedCur, evil uncle at December 08, 2010 08:05 AM (SvvVt)

83 Posted by: gary gulrud at December 08, 2010 11:21 AM

Boy, you're an unpleasant shit, aren't you?

Posted by: Y-not at December 08, 2010 08:07 AM (IDL9N)

84 CFAAOSHQ: Yeah, we're at 100 million hits, but a solid 10% are just Ace's mother checking to see if he's up yet.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at December 08, 2010 08:08 AM (B2LxR)

85 I already gave, you're next:

http://tinyurl.com/2udlmou

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 08:09 AM (LdYLm)

86 @100
Ace has a mother?

I thought he hatched from a pod or budded off of an alien life-form.

Posted by: Y-not at December 08, 2010 08:09 AM (IDL9N)

87 I was thinking about the PayPal thing. Didn't they just pull the plug on Wikileaks? If so, any danger of their site being hacked?

Posted by: Y-not at December 08, 2010 08:10 AM (IDL9N)

88 Have Wicket as tiny Tim--and watch the tips roll in.

Posted by: Palinbot #2,503,588 at December 08, 2010 08:12 AM (K/USr)

The blog also runs a farm team from which cobloggers are occasionally sent up. Nice opportunity, that.

I got kicked down to single A, however I think I am going to start adding to the headlines again. I am just swamped with end of year prep for taxes and forms.

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 08:13 AM (wuv1c)

90 Congrats Dave on your win last weekend in the Moron League!

Posted by: CDR M at December 08, 2010 12:06 PM (5I8G0)

I won? What did I win?

Posted by: Dave at December 08, 2010 08:13 AM (2LwW2)

91 CFAAOSHQ: The only blog who has a "new comment" software that was actually designed by Blaise Pascal using a punch card method sometime in the 1640s

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 08:15 AM (wuv1c)

92 I think I'm going to rename myself "Ractrack Playa" because I like fast cars and I'm good with teh wimmens. And rocks move around mysteriously on their own around me.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 08:18 AM (ue0dE)

93 For the record, I didn't actually create the horrifying picture included in this post. I just added text to it.

That's right...there's an artist on the loose with an imagination awful enough to paint...that.

Posted by: Slublog at December 08, 2010 08:19 AM (0nqdj)

Looks good, Slublog.

(You guys thought his name was a combination of "slu" and "blog, I bet. It's really "slub" and "log.")

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 08:20 AM (ue0dE)

95 Posted by: the slide of civilization at December 08, 2010 11:53 AM (uFokq)

--"Famous for being famous" is bad enough, but I haven't even heard of half the people on that list.

CDR M,

I thought I did yesterday --I mean, pretty logical for me to do so, since I have Brandon Jackson-- but maybe I recall wrong since I did snag Starks in my all-important keeper league.

Given that I won't make the playoffs, it matters little.

Posted by: logprof at December 08, 2010 08:21 AM (CE2wR)

96 Nice going, Slub Log.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 08:21 AM (ue0dE)

97 In. But I want a flame thread soon - my hatred is boiling over and I might as well aim it all at you guys.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 08, 2010 08:27 AM (ZtwUX)

98 Wait...you want us to donate money so the Ewok can slide down our chimnry and dry hump our wives, children, and our very own legs????

Posted by: Moi at December 08, 2010 08:34 AM (Ez4Ql)

For the record, I didn't actually create the horrifying picture included in this post. I just added text to it.

That's right...there's an artist on the loose with an imagination awful enough to paint...that.

Thomas Kincaide has been taking acid and watching Star Wars I see

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 08:39 AM (wuv1c)

100 Donated. Merry Christmas Ace and the Cob-Loggers

Posted by: CanaDave at December 08, 2010 08:51 AM (hbmgN)

101 That's not horrifying, by the standards of this blog. Horrifying would be Alan Grayson's head in one of the stockings.

Posted by: Jeff in PA at December 08, 2010 08:53 AM (45WVs)

102 Done
Merry Fucking Christmas Morons

Posted by: mpfs at December 08, 2010 09:22 AM (iYbLN)

103 only if you promise to be transparent and post how much moron love you got ....AND you must spend 40% on hookers with no teeth. The rest? go nuts baby!

Posted by: Ugrev at December 08, 2010 09:40 AM (862vz)

104 This is why AoS is so important to me, because Ace walks the walk when it comes to the true spirit of debate. He is intellectually honest enough to sincerely listen and weigh others opinions. I am so done with pundits who are incapable of allowing that they may have ever been mistaken.

We should all be so open to critical thought.

THIS!^

Also, even when he's starting from shitty premises, he does know how to construct a compelling argument that will almost always make me pause and take stock of my opinions.

When he's really fucking funny though?

I'll admit it, I will abandon all rationality, fact, or philosophy to sled along and go, "Wheeeeeeeee!".

Ace is fun!

I guess that he is an important conservative voice on the internet or something but really, we Morons should mostly remember that Ace of Spades HQ is just plain fun!

Posted by: Deety at December 08, 2010 09:42 AM (Jb3+B)

105 I donated. It's a festivus for the rest of us!

Posted by: Frank Costanza at December 08, 2010 09:44 AM (OXBrh)

106 Is 5 bucks a month too much to pay for the joy of trying to use TinyUrl??

That really should be a slogan for the next unauthorized bleg!

Kudos Mamma AJ!

Posted by: Deety at December 08, 2010 09:47 AM (Jb3+B)

107 116 Wait...you want us to donate money so the Ewok can slide down our chimnry and dry hump our wives, children, and our very own legs????

Posted by: Moi at December 08, 2010 12:34 PM (Ez4Ql)

The opposite, this is a payoff so he doesn't do that.

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 10:22 AM (LdYLm)

108 What Ronald Magnus is sending the Ewok for Xmas.

http://tinyurl.com/2af3qsn

Posted by: Radioactive Satellite Of LOVE at December 08, 2010 10:26 AM (LdYLm)

109

I thought he hatched from a pod or budded off of an alien life-form.

Just don't feed him after midnight...or get him wet.

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2010 10:27 AM (69B5a)

110 Wait...you want us to donate money so the Ewok can slide down our chimnry and dry hump our wives, children, and our very own legs????

Posted by: Moi at December 08, 2010 12:34 PM (Ez4Ql)

The opposite, this is a payoff so he doesn't do that.

Yeah, you can either donate, or put sheeps blood on your doorway to keep the ewoks away.

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 10:31 AM (wuv1c)

111 Maybe a P O Box would help solitations with the cash enthusiasts.

Posted by: dr kill at December 08, 2010 10:31 AM (le5qc)

112

Kudos Mamma AJ!

Damn it, does that mean I have to do it now??

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 10:32 AM (XdlcF)

113 Winsome came awake from a dream of defenestration, wondering why he hadn't tho moncler giubbotto ught of it before. From Rachel's bedroom window it was seven stories to a courtyard used for mean purposes only: drunk's evacuation, a dump for old channel bags beer cans and mop-dust, the pleasures of nighttime cats Holy shit, the spam robots are not only sentient, they're dropping acid and writing beat poetry! Run for your lives!

Posted by: joncelli© at December 08, 2010 10:35 AM (RD7QR)

114 Do you guys take Euros? Icelandic kroner? Drachma ( okay, forget that one )

Eurabian scimitars?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at December 08, 2010 10:36 AM (UqKQV)

115

Yeah, you can either donate, or put sheeps blood on your doorway to keep the ewoks away.

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 02:31 PM (wuv1c)

Too Jewish

Posted by: Hedley Lamar at December 08, 2010 10:38 AM (LdYLm)

116

Maybe a P O Box would help solitations with the cash enthusiasts.

See comment #80.

Posted by: Mama AJ at December 08, 2010 10:38 AM (XdlcF)

117

I'LL GIVE YOU THE TIP...

OF MY MASSIVE, THROBBING YULE LOG-

AND THEN YOU'LL GET IT ALL!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MORONS!

Posted by: Rapist-Face Ewok at December 08, 2010 10:38 AM (QUuUE)

118 For once, can't that farkin' Ewok just please put on some pants?

Posted by: Cicero at December 08, 2010 10:39 AM (QKKT0)

119

For once, can't that farkin' Ewok just please put on some pants?

Why? I think it's fitting. No one here wears pants.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 08, 2010 10:40 AM (pLTLS)

120

OF MY MASSIVE, THROBBING YULE LOG-

AND THEN YOU'LL GET IT ALL!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MORONS!

Posted by: Rapist-Face Ewok at December 08, 2010 02:38 PM (QUuUE)

The under-endowed always over-compensate. Always.........

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at December 08, 2010 10:40 AM (UqKQV)

121 133 Do you guys take Euros? Icelandic kroner? Drachma ( okay, forget that one )

Eurabian scimitars?

Posted by: SantaRosaStan at December 08, 2010 02:36 PM (UqKQV)

PayPal will do the exchange for you

Posted by: CanaDave at December 08, 2010 10:42 AM (hbmgN)

122 I come here to get away from beggars.......WTF?!?

I kidd..........really....I do.

Posted by: Sponge © at December 08, 2010 10:42 AM (UK9cE)

123 The ewok should have a sign that says ....BUT YOU will BLOW me FIRST!!!

Posted by: Sponge © at December 08, 2010 10:43 AM (UK9cE)

124 #128 Yeah, you can either donate, or put sheeps blood on your doorway to keep the ewoks away.

That wouldn't dissuade an Ewok; Ewoks love the smell of blood in the air. They covet blood like a bee covets a flower's nectar.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at December 08, 2010 10:45 AM (9hSKh)

125 Done - Thanks for the nudge!

Posted by: speedster1 at December 08, 2010 10:48 AM (v40Bj)

126 you want us to donate money so the Ewok can slide down our chimnry and dry hump our wives, children, and our very own legs?

There's a problem with that? There's places in Vegas where you gotta pay extra for that kind of service...

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 08, 2010 10:50 AM (3D5KG)

127 Hitting the tip jar would be social welfare, and therefore a tragedy on the scale of Pearl Harbor and Elizabeth Edwards dying.

Posted by: Christine O'Donnell at December 08, 2010 10:58 AM (cRBrW)

128 Ace should become a 501(c)3 so that our donations can be tax deductable. I remember reading a while ago that Bono charity ONE only donated something like 5% of the money it raised to charity and the rest was overhead.

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 11:01 AM (wuv1c)

129
there's a vaginey thingy on the sidebar

I think I can see the rectum, too.

Posted by: Senator Soothsayer, the newest libertarian at December 08, 2010 11:07 AM (uFokq)

130 Worst part of the picture, those "stockings hung by the chimney with care" are actually Ace's beat socks.

Posted by: MrCaniac at December 08, 2010 11:07 AM (oREHE)

131 are actually Ace's beat socks.

Posted by: MrCaniac at December 08, 2010 03:07 PM (oREHE)

What are those?

Posted by: cluless Brit git at December 08, 2010 11:09 AM (UqKQV)

132 is this thread going to stay up all day until i feel guilty enough to donate?

Posted by: phoenixgirl at December 08, 2010 11:09 AM (eOXTH)

133 Ace should become a 501(c)3 so that our donations can be tax deductable. I remember reading a while ago that Bono charity ONE only donated something like 5% of the money it raised to charity and the rest was overhead.

That's because Bono is a hypocritical douchebag. Typical 'do as I say, not as I do' liberal. He's so pro Ireland, why did he move is studios from there to save on TAX dollars? I lost all respect for him when he went to the Dem Convention in 2004 telling ME who to vote for as President when he has no say since he can't vote here. FIX Ireland, dickhead. THEN, maybe we can talk.

Posted by: Sponge © at December 08, 2010 11:10 AM (UK9cE)

134

Yeah I'll do it damnit....but when I friggin decide its time to do it. You can't tell me what to do, your not the boss of me.

Posted by: dananjcon at December 08, 2010 11:14 AM (pr+up)

135

I think I can see the rectum, too.

Damn near Killed'em!

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2010 11:16 AM (69B5a)

136

How much for a Post?

...a new Post...

How much for the new Post?

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2010 11:17 AM (69B5a)

137

Hey...do I get a pro-rate for not being around so much lately? You fuckers should pay me for not being around and stinkin up the joint.

Heh?? how bout it sparky??

Posted by: dananjcon at December 08, 2010 11:17 AM (pr+up)

138

Speaking of Bono, that reminds me of John Lennon on today, 12/8.

Who would be the bigger douche if JL were still alive??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 08, 2010 11:19 AM (pLTLS)

139

Who would be the bigger douche if JL were still alive??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 08, 2010 03:19 PM (pLTLS)

MATT DAMON!

Posted by: dananjcon at December 08, 2010 11:21 AM (pr+up)

140

131. Brilliant.

You left out the "hooooooors" though.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at December 08, 2010 11:24 AM (WvXvd)

141 Just don't feed him after midnight...or get him wet.

Easy to say. Harder to do.

Have you tried refusing those imploring eyes just begging you for a late night snack?

I thought not!

Okay, I'll cop to getting him wet, on purpose sometimes...

It's freakin' hilarious!

Posted by: Deety at December 08, 2010 11:26 AM (Jb3+B)

142 My paypal account is fucked up. Any other way to do it?

Posted by: jewells45 at December 08, 2010 11:32 AM (l/N7H)

143 Well since no one is posting anything new, I'll link this pup. Adorbs.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at December 08, 2010 11:33 AM (pLTLS)

144

165 Well since no one is posting anything new, I'll link this pup. Adorbs.

So cute!

Posted by: ¤§EZB§¤ at December 08, 2010 11:35 AM (Ty06w)

145

Adorbs.

This was on Red Eye not too long ago...funny stuff.

Posted by: garrett at December 08, 2010 11:38 AM (69B5a)

146 Done, but I'm not paying extra when he double posts!

Posted by: dogfish at December 08, 2010 11:39 AM (HFLya)

147

Deety:

Here's some stuff about the FCC via Instapundit:

Meet the FCC commissioner who wants to control the news

A Daily Caller article

and:

American Broadcasting and the First Amendment

A book available from Amazon.com

Hope that helps.

Posted by: Ed Anger at December 08, 2010 11:45 AM (7+pP9)

148 165 Well since no one is posting anything new, I'll link this pup. Adorbs.

Agree!

Don't care what cat-people will say!

Doggehs are just super-awesome just 'cause there is no creature on earth that can bring such enthusiasm to any task!

Also, who are these MFers who apparently make their doggeh dance, each and every time they let him back in?

(It would be cuter if it was just a vid showing some doggeh behavior set to music. As it is, the cuts lead me to believe that it took at least 4 days to get this.)

Posted by: Deety at December 08, 2010 11:48 AM (Jb3+B)

149 Meet the FCC commissioner who wants to control the news

What kind of ugly, overreaching bureaucrat decides the Costitution is nothing like that? This dirty, hate-filled bastard needs to get a real job.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 11:49 AM (ue0dE)

150

This dirty, hate-filled bastard needs to get a real job.

(No, not Ace.)

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 11:50 AM (ue0dE)

151 Senate to vote on Dream Act at 4:00 ?

Posted by: willow at December 08, 2010 11:52 AM (h+qn8)

152

I guess I'll hit the tip jar soon for the holiday season. I have to say though that Ace's blogging fu has been a little lame as of late.

Ace needs more money for coke and black licorice flavored condoms , which as we all know is the lifeblood of good blogging.

Posted by: Ben at December 08, 2010 11:55 AM (wuv1c)

153

WTF with the comment spam at 131?

ONLY at AOSHQ do you get spammers who are into vintage Thomas Pynchon.

Posted by: noname at December 08, 2010 12:06 PM (W8lCo)

154 Michael Newdow is back in the news. He sued Chief Justice Roberts for adding "So help you God" to the oath of office he gave to Obama. As usual, he lost. What a psycho!

Posted by: Moi at December 08, 2010 12:06 PM (Ez4Ql)

155

Soap.

I was wondering if it was important enough to address here.

I guess 20-30- million citizens needing jobs, medical (maybe they are on the list that don't have to comly) and support.

perfect timing of our congress to add insult to injury .

Posted by: willow at December 08, 2010 12:07 PM (h+qn8)

156 #169 We need an "Ugly Bastid of the Year" award, the "UBY."

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 12:11 PM (ue0dE)

157

ONLY at AOSHQ do you get spammers who are into vintage Thomas Pynchon.

Reminded me of the J Peterman Catalogue.

Posted by: ¤§EZB§¤ at December 08, 2010 12:15 PM (Ty06w)

158 Soap,-I know, srsly, i should just change my online name to sick of it allready

Posted by: willow's sick of it all at December 08, 2010 12:15 PM (h+qn8)

159 -l

Posted by: willow's sick of it all at December 08, 2010 12:16 PM (h+qn8)

160 Why didn't somebody tell me I spelled that fucking word worng?

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 12:16 PM (ue0dE)

161 heh

Posted by: willow's sick of it all at December 08, 2010 12:19 PM (h+qn8)

162 I just sidebar'd a couple of new thing.s

Posted by: Purple Avenger at December 08, 2010 12:19 PM (3D5KG)

163
Michael Newdow is the cocksucker who used his daughter to sue the school. His daughter was the damaged party, he and his lawyers claimed.

But of course it was really all about Newdow and his cocksuckery.

Posted by: Senator Soothsayer, the newest libertarian at December 08, 2010 12:20 PM (uFokq)

164 There was some leftard who would post this weird ass prose here. Anyone remember him? Most thought he was a bot but if addressed specifically, he would respond.

Posted by: Moi at December 08, 2010 12:22 PM (Ez4Ql)

165 I think it really a shame that paypal is the only option here. I receive much enjoyment from the interactions and observations of morons here, so I feel compelled to help support the community. However, I categorically refuse to use paypal.

If anyone can alert me to alternatives, I will check back to see what can be done.

Posted by: Flounder at December 08, 2010 12:25 PM (Kkt/i)

166

Flounder, send it to me.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 12:30 PM (ue0dE)

167 Correction warranted by a moron. Thanks for illustrating a part of my point.

I think it really a shame that paypal is the only option here. I receive much enjoyment from the interactions and observations of morons here, so I feel compelled to help support the community. However, I categorically refuse to use paypal.

If anyone can alert me to suitable alternatives where the funds will be received as the request states, I will check back to see what can be done.

Posted by: Flounder at December 08, 2010 12:32 PM (Kkt/i)

168 Remind me again wtf _anyone_ should ever contribute to a blog. If your vanity blog doesn't pay for itself with ads, then get a free wordpress blog, it should be evident your hobby is not commercially viable.

You'd have to be an idiot to finance someone else's self-indulgent ego-trip, which is what paying for a blog that can't support itself does.

Little tip: like it or not, pr0n and gambling (when it was legal on the net) were and are the only things that really pay the bills. We've used adult ads from the beginning and it pays for our quite substantial bandwidth costs (250k pageviews a day, uniques are irrelevant when you are talking about bandwidth costs).

I detest bloggers who beg for money to finance their self-indulgence. If you can't make enough money to keep your blog paid for, you obviously are not necessary to the internet, the world can do without you.

cue ace temper tantrum

Posted by: ms. docweasel at December 08, 2010 12:58 PM (pyFxp)

169 Is that irony?

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 01:16 PM (ue0dE)

170 Are you being ironical?

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 01:16 PM (ue0dE)

171

I'm going to donate a dollar for every one-sentence paragraph and typo that Ace publishes today.

Ten cents for a tortured metaphore.

No, wait, I just read the Palin thing. I can't afford it.

Posted by: Max Entropy at December 08, 2010 01:38 PM (lH6z9)

172 196 Are you being ironical?

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 05:16 PM (ue0dE)

I think 131 and 194 are the same person. At least, their posts read the same.

Posted by: kathysaysso at December 08, 2010 01:41 PM (ZtwUX)

173 Dropped ya $100, Ace. Worth every penny.

Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at December 08, 2010 02:46 PM (zbxMv)

174 Just donated the kid's transplant money....... you can call me Mrs. AOS now

Posted by: busdriver at December 08, 2010 03:04 PM (mvkJd)

175 Ms. docweasel, remind me again why anyone but me should tell me WTF to do with my money?

Merry Christmas ace, and to the co-bloggers, they really stepped up this year. Sorry I didn't have more to give.

Posted by: SDH at December 08, 2010 03:59 PM (7LhMf)

176 First time giver. Love this site. Thanks for the prompt.

Posted by: Flying Manatee at December 08, 2010 04:29 PM (3tzth)

177

I haven't paid attention in years, but for a long time Ace's page view times were astronomically higher than that of other blogs. Something advertisers should pay attention to.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 08:00 PM (ue0dE)

178 There was some leftard who would post this weird ass prose here. Anyone remember him? Most thought he was a bot but if addressed specifically, he would respond.

I''m not an oldtimer or anything but are you perhaps thinking of Diderot's Dog?

Posted by: Deety being a moonbat at December 08, 2010 08:19 PM (Jb3+B)

179

There was some leftard who would post this weird ass prose here. Anyone remember him?

Monty? Heh.

Posted by: rdbrewer at December 08, 2010 09:12 PM (ue0dE)

180 If those aren't the remains of orphaned blonde human children burning in that fireplace then this is NOT a traditional Ewok village Christmas. (Ewoks do NOT celebrate Lifeday. Lifeday is for the weak. Or the heavily coked up. Or the "Mark Hammil wearing a lot of lip gloss while fixing his x-wing" community. Or a sad looking Art Carny. Or old Itchy gettin' his prime-time safe, softcore, musical space-porn on.

Posted by: cackfinger at December 08, 2010 10:06 PM (TUBcJ)

181 ) Forgot to close the parentheses.

Posted by: cackfinger at December 08, 2010 10:06 PM (TUBcJ)

182 Ace needs Dildo money so he can satisfy his wife and other people's wives...and maybe pets if they play their cards right. IYKWIMAITYDBWTHDIKIJSMIJAOTISHALADSBINTWOSC... (If you know what I mean and I think you do but what the hell do I know, I'm just some mentally incompetent jack ass on the information super highway acting like a dip shit because I need to work off some caffeine.)

Posted by: cackfinger at December 08, 2010 10:15 PM (TUBcJ)

183 Hit the tip jar. Thanks for the reminder (and the great content). Any way to set up monthly payments, to keep you in Valu-Rite year-round?

Posted by: bzod99 at December 10, 2010 03:45 AM (UyEtI)

184 I flipped in a couple fish. Merry Christmas, Ewok.

Posted by: Kerry at December 10, 2010 07:38 AM (a/VXa)

185 How about some preworn panties and some homemade bathtub gin? No? Alright, I'll hit your damn tip jar you spoilsport prudes.

Posted by: Ms Choksondik at December 10, 2010 09:10 AM (3jZ02)

186 nice post, thanks for sharing. please visit me back

Posted by: gayuh blog at December 12, 2010 09:21 PM (+pvAq)

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