Ace of Spades HQ

June 23, 2010

Client Number Nine Gets CNN Gig
— DrewM

Obama is going to make his McChrystal announcement at 1:30 so here's a little something to hold you over until then...

Eliot "Keep You Socks On" Spitzer is going to be hosting a show on CNN with Kathleen "Sure I'll Sell Myself To Be CNNs Favorite 'Conservative' Parker".

Slublog has an exclusive screen cap from the pilot, complete with graphics.

Meanwhile, Jim Treacher suggests we help CNN come up with a name for the show.

Posted by: DrewM at 09:07 AM | Comments (113)
Post contains 87 words, total size 1 kb.

Suggestion for CNN Show featuring Elliot and Kathleen Parker:

Spiter/Swallow

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:09 AM (CfmlF)

2

Feeling very centered today.

Posted by: Dang Straights at June 23, 2010 09:10 AM (fx8sm)

Heh! How funny that these comments are centered in regards to our topic!

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:10 AM (CfmlF)

4 Meanwhile, Jim Treacher suggests we help CNN come up with a name for the show.

The Slut and the Whore.

Posted by: enoxo at June 23, 2010 09:10 AM (93Lca)

5 Ooh, Dang! Great minds!

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:11 AM (CfmlF)

6 I am sure that it will be a real ratings winner. How long ill it be before we have to bail out CNN?

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 23, 2010 09:11 AM (yQWNf)

Spiter/Swallow

Drats! I forgot the "z"--it should have read "Spitzer/Swallow"

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:12 AM (CfmlF)

8 CNN has turned off all comments on the Spitzer/Parker program announcement.

Unexpected?

Unprecedented?

Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 23, 2010 09:12 AM (/U/Mr)

9 "Spitzer or Porker. What can I do for $50?"

(excerpt played from a wiretap on Spitzer's #9 dealings)

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 23, 2010 09:12 AM (Qp4DT)

10 Spitz and Titz?

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:12 AM (CfmlF)

11 Kathleen and Elliot sitting in a tree....

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at June 23, 2010 09:12 AM (T0bhq)

12 I'd love to suck Kathleen's toes.

Posted by: Dick Morris at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (VXBR1)

Unless Spitzer is promising to graphically detail every moment he spent with escorts, using Kathleen Parker as a stage prop, then I don't see how this show is going to be a ratings winner.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (RZ8pf)

14 Spits her and Park her.

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (wuv1c)

15 Mebbe they could have The Goricle on as a guest...

Posted by: maddogg at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (OlN4e)

16 I don't know but a name for the show, but for a theme song, you could do worse than that Moldy Peaches song... "but hey, i'm starting to feel okay, lucky number nine. hooray."

Posted by: LikeATimeBomb at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (XMDrW)

17 Kathleen and Elliot sitting in a tree....

S U C K I N G.........

Posted by: Truck Monkey at June 23, 2010 09:13 AM (yQWNf)

Unless Spitzer is promising to graphically detail every moment he spent with escorts, using Kathleen Parker as a stage prop, then I don't see how this show is going to be a ratings winner.

Posted by: ParanoidGirlInSeattle at June 23, 2010 01:13 PM (RZ8pf)

It's going to be restricted to issues of whoring.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 23, 2010 09:14 AM (Qp4DT)

19 Hey Eliot--just drop trou and tell her to suck it. You never know....

Posted by: Bill Clinton at June 23, 2010 09:14 AM (VXBR1)

The 8 pm news hour on CNN, MSNBC and Fox will just be three competing sexual deviants

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:14 AM (wuv1c)

21 The Ho/Blow Chronicles

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:14 AM (CfmlF)

22 Firepants and the Ice Queen.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at June 23, 2010 09:15 AM (T0bhq)

23 They need to have Ana Marie Cox on. She has great stories of amateur whoring.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at June 23, 2010 09:15 AM (Qp4DT)

24 She-Ho and the Client

Posted by: joncelli at June 23, 2010 09:16 AM (RD7QR)

25 Name of the show???

How about Puke Fire?

Posted by: Vic at June 23, 2010 09:16 AM (6taRI)

26 John/D'oh!

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:16 AM (CfmlF)

27 Kate and Up the Back Alley.

Posted by: John P. Squibob at June 23, 2010 09:18 AM (/U/Mr)

28 1-800- Dateline CNN

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:18 AM (wuv1c)

29 The John and The Pawn

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at June 23, 2010 09:18 AM (T0bhq)

30 Penthouse presents: The John and The Fluffer.

Upper West Side Story

The Color of Money

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at June 23, 2010 09:18 AM (ZESU0)

31 Katty and the Backdoor Santa

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:18 AM (wuv1c)

32 They need to have Ana Marie Cox on. She has great stories of amateur whoring.

Amateur?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at June 23, 2010 09:19 AM (Aqzx6)

33 MSNBC is saying McChyrstal is out.

Posted by: robtr at June 23, 2010 09:19 AM (fwSHf)

help CNN come up with a name for the show.

CNN: Scraping the Bottom

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 09:19 AM (HWuIy)

35 New business segment on CNN: Buyers and Sellers!

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (R2fpr)

36 Unless Spitzer is promising to graphically detail every moment he spent with escorts, using Kathleen Parker as a stage prop, then I don't see how this show is going to be a ratings winner.

Dear. God. No. No no no no no no no no no no no.

Show name suggestion: Whore²

Posted by: alexthechick at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (8WZWv)

37 Kathleen and the Butt Fiend

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (wuv1c)

38 I thought he said yesterday the mission was too important. And that McCrystal was staying.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (HWuIy)

39 Socks and Cocks

Posted by: A Balrog of Morgoth at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (ZESU0)

40 Is it me? Or does Elliot look like a dick with a purple condom rolled up on the tip?

Posted by: maddogg at June 23, 2010 09:20 AM (OlN4e)

41 Parker and Spitzer:Slightly Less of a Spectacle than Anderson Cooper

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:21 AM (wuv1c)

I'll watch it if he promises to say something nice about Sarah Palin.

It'll be fun to watch Kathleen jump on him and use her claws.

Posted by: Mama AJ at June 23, 2010 09:21 AM (XdlcF)

43 33 MSNBC is saying McChyrstal is out. Posted by: robtr at June 23, 2010 01:19 PM (fwSHf) No surprise -- Bambi's skin is paper thin. Who will be the replacement? I say give Petraeus two hats. Or bring Stormin' Norman out of retirement. Or get one of Petraeus's subordinates during the Anbar Awakening a shot.

Posted by: joncelli at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (RD7QR)

44 At least Spitzer will be doing in depth reporting on the monthy tug Job numbers

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (wuv1c)

45 Is anybody really going to watch this? I would rather give my pet Chihauhau a prostate cancer check with my finger. What a waste of electricity and a large contributor to global climate change......

Posted by: Klaus Frenfuty at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (SZy+Y)

46 If they could just add in Helen Thomas it might be the only show in the history of television to be worse than The View. Add country western music and you have a show that's actually worse than going to hell. I think they should play shows like this 24/7 in Guantanamo Bay but then all the guards would end up shooting themselves, so maybe not.

Posted by: KilltheHippies at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (y/+ik)

On the next episode of..."Whore Monger & Whore"...

Posted by: dananjcon at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (pr+up)

48 Illegally Blonde and Bald

Posted by: Boots at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (06JTY)

49 McChrystal is out.

Posted by: Ed Anger at June 23, 2010 09:22 AM (7+pP9)

They need to have Ana Marie Cox on

Isnt't the whole point of this new shake-up to boost ratings??

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 23, 2010 09:23 AM (pLTLS)

51 Douche & Nozzle

Posted by: Ben at June 23, 2010 09:23 AM (wuv1c)

52 Client no.9 hooks-ups with a "journalistic" prostitute on cnn, this is the perfect triangle of lunacy.

Posted by: MIKE191 at June 23, 2010 09:23 AM (uQVXB)

53 10 Spitz and Titz?

that's some serious LOL right there

Posted by: chemjeff at June 23, 2010 09:23 AM (Gk/wA)

OT: Obama appears to be very comfortable with his guests IYKWIMAITTYD. Need to read the comments at WZ.

Brokeback Obama Welcomes Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trannys to White House for Â‘Pride DayÂ’Â… http://e9ahd.th8.us

When is Heterosexual Pride Day?

Posted by: Will Folks - upset that I couldn't attend the White House Ceremony at June 23, 2010 09:24 AM (YVZlY)

No surprise -- Bambi's skin is paper thin. Who will be the replacement? I say give Petraeus two hats. Or bring Stormin' Norman out of retirement. Or get one of Petraeus's subordinates during the Anbar Awakening a shot

You rang?

Posted by: Weasley Clark at June 23, 2010 09:24 AM (CfmlF)

Is this show gonna be Spitzer asking "Is this being recorded?" every 5 seconds, as Kathleen slowly turns into Sarah Palin's "Hedra"?

Posted by: Joanie (Oven Gloves) at June 23, 2010 09:25 AM (HaYO4)

Spitz & swallow

Posted by: dananjcon at June 23, 2010 09:26 AM (pr+up)

58 It's appropriate he's in clown attire.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 09:26 AM (HWuIy)

59 I wonder how much money CNN is wasting on this show. I don't see it lasting 6 months. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. Year tops.

Posted by: Weasley Clark at June 23, 2010 09:26 AM (CfmlF)

60 The Innie and the Outie.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at June 23, 2010 09:27 AM (T0bhq)

61 Nutty Butty

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:27 AM (CfmlF)

Part of the problem for CNN is that Fox has hired all the real talent. Guys like Spitzer are all that's left.

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 09:27 AM (HWuIy)

If CNN ditches Parker and Spitzer has to fly solo, he can go up against Chris Matthews with his new show, "Hornball".

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:28 AM (CfmlF)

64 If you freeze the tape you can clearly see that Spitzer was NOT wearing a pimp costume, as the blog Ace of Spades HQ claimed. The whole thing was just the latest in a series of Breitbart-funded Republican hoaxes.

Posted by: Rachel Maddow, the most trustworthy man in America at June 23, 2010 09:29 AM (w9BEi)

Zero: Bill? is this Bill Ayers?

Ayers: Yeah, is that you Barry?

Zero: I prefer Mr. President if you don't mind Bill.

Ayers: Yes, of course Mr. President. Sorry.

Zero: Bill, I've been thinking.....I have a couple of openings in my administration.

Ayers: I'm honored Mr. President! I've always wanted to command troops in a desperate battle while hiding in a safe place. Just like old times. We're talking about Afghanistan, aren't we?

Zero: Actually, Bill, I've already promised that job to Hillary. I was thinking of replacing my caddy....

Posted by: maddogg at June 23, 2010 09:29 AM (OlN4e)

Posted by: joncelli at June 23, 2010 01:22 PM (RD7QR)

How about James Mattis? That would pop a few heads!

"On February 1, 2005, Lieutenant General Mattis, speaking Ad libitum at a forum in San Diego, said "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil. You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them. Actually, it's a lot of fun to fight. You know, it's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right upfront with you, I like brawling." Mattis's remarks sparked controversy and General Michael W. Hagee, Commandant of the Marine Corps, issued a statement suggesting that Mattis should have chosen his words more carefully, but would not be disciplined."

The irony, it burns.

Posted by: Jay in Ames at June 23, 2010 09:29 AM (UEEex)

67 I have to say if there was an AoS poll, Spitz and Titz would be the walk away winner.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at June 23, 2010 09:30 AM (T0bhq)

68 The Asphyxiation Room?

Posted by: Beagle at June 23, 2010 09:30 AM (sOtz/)

69
The Kathleen Parker Show

Posted by: The Mega Independent at June 23, 2010 09:31 AM (mYLO2)

70 Gen. Petraius to replace Mac.

Posted by: 'Nam Grunt at June 23, 2010 09:32 AM (GOBeG)

71

Petraeus will replace McChrystal.

Posted by: Ed Anger at June 23, 2010 09:32 AM (7+pP9)

1st guest: Ahley Dupree!!

Posted by: Vergeltung at June 23, 2010 09:32 AM (jttPx)

73 Pulitzer Putz and Bareback Boner

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:33 AM (CfmlF)

74 68 The Asphyxiation Room? heh! Perfect! Kathleen pretty much sucks all the oxygen out of any room.

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:34 AM (CfmlF)

Lout and Pout

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 09:34 AM (CfmlF)

76 Add MODERN country western music and you have a show that's actually worse than going to hell.

FTFY

Posted by: Vic at June 23, 2010 09:48 AM (6taRI)

77 I'm torn between watching this or the new MSNBC show hosted by the MILF Hunter & Peggy Noonan.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at June 23, 2010 09:53 AM (+lsX1)

78 Cheating husbands and the women who apologize for them.

Look for Tiger Woods and Mark Sanford to be guests during the first week.

Posted by: John Galt at June 23, 2010 09:57 AM (F/4zf)

Intro to the first show:

I think you'll enjoy the format of our new show and the chemistry between our two hosts. The first half of this tandem is a good for nothing low life who will have deviate sex with anyone, our other host is the distinguished ex gov of New York.

Posted by: CNN at June 23, 2010 09:57 AM (Wmjm0)

80 Butt Buddies?

Posted by: hutch1200 at June 23, 2010 09:58 AM (My4Ze)

81 With special 'inside' commentary from Andi Sullivan!!

Posted by: Blue Hen at June 23, 2010 10:04 AM (R2fpr)

"The Biggest Losers"

No, wait, that title it taken.

"Insulting the Intelligence of America - 360"

"Reaching up to Touch Bottom"

"The Stink is Here"

Posted by: Reader C.J. Burch says..... at June 23, 2010 10:05 AM (usS2T)

"The Dawg and Fauxny Show"

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 10:25 AM (CfmlF)

84 First topic of discussion: Black Holes. Elliot provides in depth coverage and color commentary of them.

Posted by: runningrn at June 23, 2010 10:27 AM (CfmlF)

85 Spitz and Clitz-360 ( to combine a few previous answers with some paraphrasing included.)

Posted by: dfbaskwill at June 23, 2010 10:36 AM (usjNq)

86 Kate Plus Nine?

Posted by: Little Miss Spellcheck at June 23, 2010 10:46 AM (a5ljo)

87 Slublog is the shit.

And Socks And Cocks is hilarious.

Posted by: Spank at June 23, 2010 11:01 AM (xO+6C)

88 The best names have already been used ...
" Leave it to Beaver "
" Father Knows Breast."
" Make Room For Daddy "
" Cats "
But I did find out the phone number
1 - 900 - Ima - Whor

Posted by: American Dawg at June 23, 2010 11:04 AM (H69b+)

Everything is Negotiable with Kate and Eliot

Posted by: Fritz at June 23, 2010 11:11 AM (GwPRU)

90 Crossfire Crossdresser

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 11:18 AM (HWuIy)

Eliot Spitzer and Kathleen Parker in ...

Our Last Shred of Dignity

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 11:19 AM (HWuIy)

Parker and Spitzer on...

The Last Indictment of Parker's Judgment

Posted by: rdbrewer at June 23, 2010 11:21 AM (HWuIy)

93 "No Dissent"

There's your name, 'cause that's the show right there.

Posted by: SuperCool at June 23, 2010 11:32 AM (gEh3B)

94 Love Potion #9

Posted by: thirteen28 at June 23, 2010 11:53 AM (s8N54)

It doesn't matter how much of a lowlife you are, there's always a place for you as a cable news analyst.

Posted by: Warden at June 23, 2010 12:07 PM (QoR4a)

Show Title Suggestions:

BlackEye
Spitz and the Ditz
The O'RLY? Factor
Friday News Dump
Bubbles & Troubles
Two More Obama Voters

Posted by: reason at June 23, 2010 12:26 PM (L51+P)

97 Crossfire used to be great because they had a pitbull on the right (Buchanan or Novak) and a dullard on the left (Tom Braden, Bill Press, etc.).

Now they reversed the formula. Beh.

Posted by: Jon Stewart's Right Nut at June 23, 2010 12:28 PM (mAm+G)

98 Blown and Blown Dry.

Posted by: Michael Kinsley at June 23, 2010 12:29 PM (mAm+G)

@77 - that would actually be much more prone to reasonable balance.

You just know he voted for McCain / Palin.

Posted by: reason at June 23, 2010 12:32 PM (L51+P)

100

I wonder if the phrase "Jane, You Ignorant Slut" is copyrighted material...

Posted by: Wolf Blitzer at June 23, 2010 12:37 PM (kC3nL)

101 Insanity & Holmes

Posted by: reason at June 23, 2010 12:40 PM (kC3nL)

102

"The whole thing was just the latest in a series of Breitbart-funded Republican hoaxes."

Whoa! Breitbart is "our" Soros? Can I get a position somewhere when Breitbart gets around to forming his thinktank, the Center for American Awesomeness?

Posted by: reason at June 23, 2010 12:46 PM (kC3nL)

103 I'd like to congratulate my new broadcasting colleague. His story is a tribute to the power of redemption and forgiveness.

PS - hit me up, Nine - we could tag-team announcing the Knick's sometime and then do a little "tag team" clubbin' on the 'Hatty - u feelin' me ?

Posted by: Marv Albert at June 23, 2010 01:16 PM (7ZyYf)

104 83 & 86
co-winnah's so far... Wracking my brain for something worthy.

Posted by: Marv Albert at June 23, 2010 01:18 PM (7ZyYf)

105 Ugh, that's one sock that's getting washed with bleach.

Posted by: societyis2blame at June 23, 2010 01:19 PM (7ZyYf)

106 Two jobs, created or saved?

We disport, you deride.

Posted by: MarkD at June 23, 2010 01:21 PM (YhZfg)

107 Bum & Bummer

Posted by: reason at June 23, 2010 01:49 PM (5npD/)

108 Beaver and Butthole

Posted by: KilltheHippies at June 23, 2010 03:00 PM (y/+ik)

109 Show title: Who's on top?

Posted by: Rocks at June 23, 2010 03:06 PM (WVbNY)

110

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Posted by: jordan shoes at June 24, 2010 01:27 AM (w3H1X)

111 "Douchebag & Bint"

Posted by: greginsewa at June 24, 2010 05:51 AM (r/h5P)

112 Slimeball & Screwball as title.

Dumb & Dumber

No. 9 & RINO

Fellow Travelers

Socks & Crock

Posted by: eaglewingz08 at June 24, 2010 07:21 AM (lFaac)

113 what?

Posted by: Pork Alfredo at June 26, 2010 11:58 PM (RUuM+)

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