May 17, 2010
— Ace Frustrated! Well that's one way to put it.
If only Tea Partiers had a PR firm with the major networks' ear like radical Islamic terrorists do. Tea Partiers would kill to be merely deemed frustrated.
Actually, they wouldn't kill at all, which is why I suppose the cowards of the media have decide to brand them would-be murderers and lynchers without any violent acts yet attributable to them at all.
On the other hand....
E-mails paint Times Square suspect as frustrated MuslimBy Susan Candiotti, CNN
May 17, 2010 12:38 p.m. EDTSTORY HIGHLIGHTS
Two e-mails may shed light on what motivated suspect in failed Times Square bombing
May shed light? May?
Shed light? Are his motives still cloaked in darkness?
CNN obtained e-mails from Connecticut physician, who provided copies to FBI
E-mail: "It is with no doubt that we ... are attacked and occupied by foreign infidel forces"
This email -- "no doubt that we... are attacked and occupied by foreign infidel forces" --- may, apparently, provide some obscure clue to Shahzad's otherwise-incomprehensible mind.
New York (CNN) -- Faisal Shahzad, the suspect in the failed car bombing in New York's Times Square, was frustrated with the state of the Muslim world and sought a way to "fight back."Two e-mails obtained by CNN help piece together a portrait of the Pakistani-born naturalized U.S. citizen. They also may shed some light on what propelled his failed terror plot.
"Everyone knows the current situation of Muslim World," he wrote in an e-mail he sent to a large group of recipients in February 2006....
"Everyone knows how the Muslim country bows down to pressure from the west. Everyone knows the kind of humiliation we are faced with around the globe."
The e-mail continues: "It is with no doubt that we today Muslim, followers of Islam are attacked and occupied by foreign infidel forces. The crusade has already started against Islam and Muslims with cartoons of our beloved Prophet PBUH (peace be upon him) as War drums."
Shahzad keeps saying "everyone knows."
If only CNN could mimic his attitude about what "everyone knows."
So what does that actually mean? Hm, that's a puzzler. But I suppose it may shed light on his Byzantine, inscrutable motivations. But we need to dig further to solve this funky mystery, as Shaggy might say.
Oh, and here's what had him in such a state:
Shahzad was referring to the 2005 controversy in which a Danish newspaper published satirical cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed that many Muslims found offensive."Can you tell me a way to save the oppressed," Shahzad asked. "And a way to fight back when rockets are fired at us and Muslim blood flows? In Palestine, Afghan, Iraq, Chechnya and elsewhere."
The second e-mail was sent in April 2009 to a smaller group of recipients. By then, Shahzad was an American citizen. In that e-mail, Shahzad ridicules an article written by a Muslim who took a more moderate view than him.
He felt "oppressed" by a cartoon enough to wish to murder over it.
I hope we find some more clues about this International Man of Mystery. So far, even with these tiny, fragmentary hints, he remains shrouded, a living cipher, a mystery in a riddle wrapped in an enigma.
You know who's really frustrated? Non-Muslims who keep getting killed by Muslims.
Posted by: Ace at
11:55 AM
| Comments (155)
Post contains 571 words, total size 4 kb.
Posted by: maverick muse at May 17, 2010 11:58 AM (H+LJc)
Posted by: Mrs. Dugger, mother of 20 at May 17, 2010 12:01 PM (e8YaH)
Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at May 17, 2010 12:01 PM (mHQ7T)
Posted by: NBC News at May 17, 2010 12:01 PM (snlsw)
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:02 PM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Mrs. Dugger, mother of 20 at May 17, 2010 04:01 PM (e8YaH)
It helps if you start young and look nothing like Barbara Boxer.
Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at May 17, 2010 12:02 PM (mHQ7T)
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 17, 2010 12:02 PM (5aa4z)
Posted by: CNN Editors at May 17, 2010 12:02 PM (e8YaH)
He planted a bomb in NYC (in part) because of Chechnya? Somebody should have bought this guy a map.
Posted by: Ace's liver at May 17, 2010 12:03 PM (LtIsn)
Posted by: Comrade Constantine XI Palaiologos at May 17, 2010 12:03 PM (tsb7q)
Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at May 17, 2010 12:03 PM (5aa4z)
"Everyone knows how the Muslim country bows down to pressure from the west. Everyone knows the kind of humiliation we are faced with around the globe."
Yep, and now you'll be getting humiliated and bowing down in front of Big Bubba after "lights out".
Posted by: Blazer at May 17, 2010 12:03 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: Don Lemon at May 17, 2010 12:04 PM (e8YaH)
Posted by: Jean at May 17, 2010 12:04 PM (6Njk9)
You know what else is frustrating?
It's when muslim women shake their moneymakers, and I wasn't provided an opportunity to plant a couple of George Washingtons in her thong.
Posted by: Joey Plugs at May 17, 2010 12:04 PM (GwPRU)
Yep, keep bombing things, fly planes into buildings, slicing peoples throats, stoning women, tying up homos in a sack and throwing them off cliffs, and threatening violence to anyone who questions your pedophile prophet, and the humiliation will continue asshole. Pieces be on you.
Posted by: TexBob at May 17, 2010 12:04 PM (2jp4I)
Posted by: Jean at May 17, 2010 12:05 PM (6Njk9)
Posted by: Jihadi Fruitcake at May 17, 2010 12:05 PM (bbn3s)
Posted by: Vic at May 17, 2010 12:06 PM (6taRI)
The Byzantine-Arab Wars kinda did start this.
Posted by: oblig. at May 17, 2010 12:06 PM (x7Ao8)
Posted by: Jihadi Fruitcake at May 17, 2010 12:07 PM (bbn3s)
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:09 PM (R2fpr)
Posted by: joncelli at May 17, 2010 12:09 PM (RD7QR)
I'm convinced the majority of the Left believes we just have to take a few 1000 loses for the sake of existing in the same world with barbarians and thugs.
Posted by: Garbonzo the Garrulous at May 17, 2010 12:09 PM (zgd5N)
Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at May 17, 2010 12:10 PM (Xu5Z7)
Posted by: Eric Holder at May 17, 2010 12:10 PM (bbn3s)
Posted by: damian at May 17, 2010 12:10 PM (4WbTI)
Apparently Obama's apology offensive isn't working.
Posted by: WalrusRex at May 17, 2010 12:11 PM (xxgag)
Posted by: joncelli at May 17, 2010 12:11 PM (RD7QR)
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:11 PM (R2fpr)
This is why we can never win with these primitive nutjobs. They shame themselves (they are really just embarrassed about what pathetic, inept twits they are with no ability to do much of anything and no skills of any sort) and then, due to the Tribalist/Shame/Revenge culture, must avenge that by lashing out at some outside "enemy". It is a vicious cycle that they run. all by themselves, but that we must bear the brunt of.
The only answer is the simple one:
All threats from the arab/persian/muslim world start and stop with control of the gulf oil fields. Period. Without those fields, the savages are effectively defanged. With the fields, they will push this world until it breaks.
Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (Qp4DT)
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (R2fpr)
International Man of Mystery
Hmm, did his penis pump fail?? Maybe that's a reason for his frustration as well?
Yeah, baby, yeah!
Posted by: laceyunderalls at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (pLTLS)
The only solution here is to let the muzzies build a mosque right on top of George Washington's tomb, then and only then will there finally be peace. Its common sense and the reason why the Democrats will pick up at least 1.3 million seats in the House and Senate this fall.
Posted by: snapdragqueen at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (t72+4)
Why do they hate us?
What are we doing to make them want to kill us?
========================================
Remember those questions after 9/11?
Posted by: Captain Leech at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (uFokq)
I'd like to read more of the second email. This bit lays out an argument: I bet when it comes to defending the lands, his opinion would be we should do dialogue, etc., which is not the proven way from history and has not worked in current time and will not work in the future because it simply wasn't the way of the Quran
He's right. Violence is the Qur'an's prescription for how the Muslim is to rebut an "attack". And anything that hinders from the way of God (sadd 'an sabili Allahi) is a legitimate casus belli.
He could also have added the Prophet's sunna. Muhammad had a number of poets executed because they hurt his tender feelings: http://tinyurl.com/yrs6nr
Posted by: Zimriel at May 17, 2010 12:13 PM (9Sbz+)
"No matter how many I kill, Noam, productivity is still down. I tell ya, man, this is humiliating."
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 17, 2010 12:15 PM (Y0wFY)
Posted by: bergerbilder at May 17, 2010 12:15 PM (S1Ttj)
Why do they hate us?
What are we doing to make them want to kill us?
A virgin sacrifice is needed to appease them. Where's the foolish flower child (snapdragon)?
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:15 PM (R2fpr)
...the morons here figured out the South Park connection while the folks in charge were still looking for a disgruntled teabagger. Yeah, I feel safe.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 12:16 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: Faisal Shahzad at May 17, 2010 12:18 PM (oLULt)
Posted by: joncelli at May 17, 2010 12:19 PM (RD7QR)
*intently studies emails, having scribbled all over printouts with various words circled, linked together with lines, and notes scribbled in the margins*
*concentration finally breaks, as he crumples papers into a ball and throws them across the room...picks up a file photo of Faisal, staring deeply into the eyes*
I know you're trying to tell me something, Faisal...but what!?!?!!"
Posted by: Anderson Cooper at May 17, 2010 12:20 PM (sPO/s)
Posted by: Miss Fannie Mae at May 17, 2010 12:21 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at May 17, 2010 12:22 PM (YVZlY)
Nobody should be surprised, muslim oil basically owns the MFM...they say whatever they are paid to say.
Posted by: CanaDave at May 17, 2010 12:22 PM (s9lI2)
He felt "oppressed" by a cartoon enough to wish to murder over it.
Ya know, I really hated He-Man and Thundercats while growing up, but not enough to kill anybody over it.
Posted by: Blazer at May 17, 2010 12:22 PM (t72+4)
"You know who's really frustrated? Non-Muslims who keep getting killed by Muslims."
Trust me, the frustration lifts right after the first time you get killed.
Posted by: Zombie Infidel Victim of Muslim Terror at May 17, 2010 12:23 PM (7AOgy)
Hey, I was frustrated! He kept mocking me!
Posted by: Prophet Muhammed at May 17, 2010 12:23 PM (xzSvW)
Posted by: Andi Sullivan's beagle at May 17, 2010 12:23 PM (RD7QR)
"You know who's really frustrated? Non-Muslims who keep getting killed by Muslims."
Trust me, the frustration lifts right after the first time you get killed.
Posted by: Zombie Infidel Victim of Muslim Terror at May 17, 2010 04:23 PM (7AOgy)
SILENCE, Infidel! I KILL YOU!!!
Oh, wait. I already did.
Posted by: Achmed the Dead Terrorist at May 17, 2010 12:24 PM (7AOgy)
Posted by: Purity Republican at May 17, 2010 12:24 PM (SbFur)
E-mails paint Times Square suspect as frustrated Muslim
Stuff like this can be averted in the future if they would just allow goats into New York City.
Posted by: Blazer at May 17, 2010 12:25 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: t-bird at May 17, 2010 12:25 PM (FcR7P)
"Everyone knows the kind of humiliation we are faced with around the globe."
Nothing a little caining, stoning, be-heading, de-handing, hanging, dragging lifeless bodies through the streets, bombing, shooting, raping, molesting, kidnapping, defrauding, drug growing, drug smugglin, drug pushing, brainwashing fanataicism won't cure.
And the MFM beat goes on...
Posted by: dananjcon at May 17, 2010 12:25 PM (pr+up)
How could anybody hate He-Man and Thundercats? Blasphemy. Off with Blazer's head! j/k
I hated the later seasons of Family Guy, all of American Dad, and Aqua Teen Hunger Force, but I didn't want to kill anybody over them.
/But as a teabagging Christian, I may get a bit frustrated over the planned JC cartoon on Comedy Central, according to Co(u)ntessa Brewer.
Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 17, 2010 12:26 PM (9hSKh)
Posted by: Purity Republican at May 17, 2010 04:24 PM (SbFur)
Shazaam loves America ... in that special sort of Democrat-style patriotism. Just ask any Democrat how The Precedent loves America and they'll explain it all. He loves America enough to destroy it and stop it from being the most evil place ever to exist on Earth. (That was in the Cairo leg of the World Traitor Tour)
Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 17, 2010 12:28 PM (Qp4DT)
Posted by: CNN at May 17, 2010 12:28 PM (pUfK9)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 17, 2010 12:28 PM (eNxMU)
"You know who's really frustrated? Non-Muslims who keep getting killed by Muslims."
The survivors of a wedding reception in Amman, Jordan would like to weigh in to say that Muslims aren't thrilled either.
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:28 PM (R2fpr)
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 17, 2010 12:29 PM (SbFur)
He was just clearing land for another Mega Mosque. 13 stories of goat orgy goodness at Ground Zero wasn't enough.
Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 17, 2010 12:29 PM (Oxen1)
How could anybody hate He-Man and Thundercats? Blasphemy. Off with Blazer's head! j/k
Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 17, 2010 04:26 PM (9hSKh)
Remember Orko ? Stupidest f'ckin' cartoon character ever.
Posted by: Blazer at May 17, 2010 12:29 PM (t72+4)
"The only solution here is to let the muzzies build a mosque right on top of George Washington's tomb, then and only then will there finally be peace."
Aww, hell. Why not just let them build a mosque on Mt. Rushmore, right on top of George Washington's head? He can wear it like a hat.
Posted by: honestly clouded at May 17, 2010 12:30 PM (V40IZ)
When they start making jars of piss Mohammeds, come talk to me about frustration.
Yeah, that will never happen! Neither will there be sculptures of Mohammed crafted from poop.
Posted by: runningrn at May 17, 2010 12:30 PM (CfmlF)
Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 17, 2010 12:30 PM (Qp4DT)
Stay with me on this one.
The e-mail continues: "It is with no doubt that we today Muslim, followers of Islam are attacked and occupied by foreign infidel forces. The crusade has already started against Islam and Muslims with cartoons of our beloved Prophet PBUH (peace be upon him) as War drums."
Shahzad was referring to the 2005 controversy in which a Danish newspaper published satirical cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed that many Muslims found offensive.
"Can you tell me a way to save the oppressed," Shahzad asked. "And a way to fight back when rockets are fired at us and Muslim blood flows? In Palestine, Afghan, Iraq, Chechnya and elsewhere."
The second e-mail was sent in April 2009 to a smaller group of recipients. By then, Shahzad was an American citizen. In that e-mail, Shahzad ridicules an article written by a Muslim who took a more moderate view than him.
"If you don't have the right teacher, then Satan should become your sheikh," according to a translated portion of the e-mail.
"I bet when it comes to defending the lands, his opinion would be we should do dialogue, etc., which is not the proven way from history and has not worked in current time and will not work in the future because it simply wasn't the way of the Quran," he added.
Okay, two points.
1) He was talking about "we Muslims" BEFORE taking the Oath of Citizenship and then again "we Muslims" AFTER taking the Oath of Citizenship. Clearly he took the oath with mental reservations and active purpose of evasion. He should be stripped of his American citizenship forthwith.
2) Dialogue and coexistence are not the way of the Quran, according to him. Shouldn't we take his word for it?
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:30 PM (7AOgy)
The Saudi government has the best cloaking devices contribution money to politicians can buy. It even worked during the Bush admin, hence that "Religion of Peace" business.
Posted by: Kristopher at May 17, 2010 12:31 PM (kCEOg)
Posted by: ontherocks at May 17, 2010 12:31 PM (HBqDo)
It was Lucy and that darn football!!11!!
Posted by: runningrn at May 17, 2010 12:31 PM (CfmlF)
This one was like a light bulb clicking on. Ace, I sincerely appreciate your clearing this up for me. I had not realized (my soft bigotry of low expectations) that he was frustrated and that it was OUR fault .
Of course, The United States and the Americans he was living among frustrated him, oppressed him and other Muslims. He was obviously completely correct and justified in all his perceptions, and given that, who wouldn't explode?
Posted by: RM at May 17, 2010 12:32 PM (GkYyh)
This idea I have in my head that it's a primitive, violent, totalitarian, anti-woman religion is all just a racist right-wing lie?
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 12:33 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 17, 2010 04:29 PM (SbFur)
After a tense eighteen-hour stand-off, the suspect, identified as 63-year-old Linus Van Pelt, surrendered. When members of the SWAT team took him into custody, Van Pelt was muttering, "I LOVE humanity. It's PEOPLE I can't stand!"
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:33 PM (7AOgy)
It must be embarassing to export more oil than any place on the globe and yet have to import gasoline because your scientific development hasn't yet made the leap from banging rocks together to say, the steam engine.
Hell, even the Soviets could make cars and televisions. Kind of.
And maybe, just maybe your lack of battlefield prowess has to do with your emphasis on "Muslimness" over "Marksmanship." Because while you Johnny Jihads are jumping around a corner and spraying off an entire magazine from an already woefully inaccurate AK-47, SGT Brick "Chestcrusher" Deathcock is steadying his breathing and concentrating on his trigger control so he can pop a new asshole right in the center of your chest.
Congratulations, your misplaced racial/religious pride makes the Latinos look positively humble by comparison. Piss Be Upon You All.
Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 17, 2010 12:34 PM (Y0wFY)
Hey, like my friend Fannie said, it was all about George Bush forcing this poor man out of his house. We need to have some hearings in Congress to see how Bush's policies facilitated bad lending practices.
Posted by: Mr. Freddie Mac at May 17, 2010 12:35 PM (CfmlF)
I tried to kill Charlie Brown to gain Peppermint Patty's attention.
Posted by: pig pen at May 17, 2010 12:35 PM (4WbTI)
Posted by: Monty at May 17, 2010 12:36 PM (4Pleu)
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 04:33 PM (mR7mk)
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."
- Sir Charles Napier, Commander-in-Chief of the British Army in India
Of course, fundamentalist Hindus are marginally more reasonable than fundamentalist Muslims.
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:36 PM (7AOgy)
Posted by: Dr Spank at May 17, 2010 12:36 PM (SbFur)
Posted by: pig pen at May 17, 2010 04:35 PM (4WbTI)
Shouldn't you be preparing for your confirmation hearings?
Posted by: Editor at May 17, 2010 12:37 PM (pUfK9)
You know what's more frustrating than Peanuts?
The Archie Gang. Why, why, why didn't Archie and Reggie bang the stuffing out of Betty and Veronica? They were two hot young babes!
Posted by: Joey Plugs at May 17, 2010 12:38 PM (GwPRU)
Posted by: frustrated Family Circus reader, furiously building a crappy bomb that won't work at May 17, 2010 12:39 PM (V40IZ)
I don't know, he sounds more verklempt than frustrated.
Posted by: BB at May 17, 2010 12:40 PM (qF8q3)
"The only solution here is to let the muzzies build a mosque right on top of George Washington's tomb, then and only then will there finally be peace."
Aww, hell. Why not just let them build a mosque on Mt. Rushmore, right on top of George Washington's head? He can wear it like a hat.
Posted by: honestly clouded at May 17, 2010 04:30 PM (V40IZ)
I suppose it would be wrong to joke about turning the Ka'aba in Mecca into a public urinal?
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:40 PM (7AOgy)
First Lady Announces Food and Beverage Manufacturer Agreement with Partnership for a Healthier America to Fight Childhood Obesity
First Lady Michelle Obama today announced that the Partnership for a Healthier America has signed an agreement with The Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation (HWCF) whose members are pledging to take actions aimed at reducing 1.5 trillion product calories by the end of 2015. As an interim step to this goal, HWCF will seek to reduce calories by 1 trillion in 2012. ...Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation manufacturing companies will pursue their calorie reduction goals by growing and introducing lower-calorie options; changing product recipes where possible to lower the calorie content of current products; or reducing portion sizes of existing single-serve products. These changes will help Americans reduce their calorie intake, improve their overall nutrition and close the energy gap.
The "energy gap"? WTF is that? Say what you want about Laura Bush, but at least her actions didn't put in more bullshit jargon into the politcal lexicon such as "food desert" or "energy gap".
Won't work, g-tards. If you make Oreo cookies a third of their original calories, I'm just going to eat at least 3x more to make up for my own "energy gap". Eat it, commies!
Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 17, 2010 12:40 PM (9hSKh)
Posted by: ken at May 17, 2010 12:40 PM (4WbTI)
I remember Cappy Dick™ having several Sunday morning comics showing how to kill "pirates" (hobos) and totally get away with it. Lots of cool stuff, we all know, can be made from hobo. Moccasins, bone knife-handles, candles, tote bags, woven-hair mittens, etc. Most of these time tested products are from the beloved Cappy himself.
Posted by: Dang at May 17, 2010 12:40 PM (UA4gE)
Why the MFM don't focus on the $65,000 cash equity loan he took out on the house before he quit making payments is shrouded in a pc burka.
Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 17, 2010 12:41 PM (Oxen1)
Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 17, 2010 12:41 PM (Qp4DT)
The Archie Gang. Why, why, why didn't Archie and Reggie bang the stuffing out of Betty and Veronica? They were two hot young babes!
Posted by: Joey Plugs at May 17, 2010 04:38 PM (GwPRU)
And now Veronica has gone all (excuse the expression) "fag hag" for Kevin.
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:41 PM (7AOgy)
You know what's more frustrating than Peanuts?
The Archie Gang. Why, why, why didn't Archie and Reggie bang the stuffing out of Betty and Veronica? They were two hot young babes!
Posted by: Joey Plugs at May 17, 2010 04:38 PM (GwPRU)
You know what really frustrated me? I always wanted to see Marmaduke get it on with the rest of the family, but alas it was not to be here in unenlightened America.
Posted by: snapdragqueen at May 17, 2010 12:41 PM (t72+4)
Posted by: dananjcon at May 17, 2010 12:43 PM (pr+up)
I can't believe George Bush didn't tell him that you have to keep making payments even after you quit your job to go to terrorist training camp in Pakistan. What an asshole.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 12:43 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: barbie at May 17, 2010 12:43 PM (4WbTI)
Posted by: Bwaney Fwank, frustrated jizhadi at May 17, 2010 12:44 PM (Jfa1U)
reducing portion sizes of existing single-serve products
And charge the same effing price, or more! Thats one way to hide inflation!
Posted by: Dang at May 17, 2010 12:44 PM (UA4gE)
Posted by: CNN at May 17, 2010 04:28 PM (pUfK9)
See, now, there's really no bone in it. So when I say, "I never boned that woman," I'm not lying. You left me an opening I can drive a truck through -- sort of like Hillary does. I'm not kidding, I have to rope up before I go in there. I don't so much lay her as BELAY her.
Posted by: Slick Willie at May 17, 2010 12:46 PM (7AOgy)
Posted by: Ziggy at May 17, 2010 12:46 PM (V40IZ)
Nice try. Your Oreo ration has been increased to 1 cookie this month.
Posted by: Comrade Fatass von Chestbelt at May 17, 2010 12:46 PM (bbn3s)
After a tense eighteen-hour stand-off, the suspect, identified as 63-year-old Linus Van Pelt, surrendered. When members of the SWAT team took him into custody, Van Pelt was muttering, "I LOVE humanity. It's PEOPLE I can't stand!"
Posted by: stuiec
In exchange for his cooperation. Mr. Van Pelt was given blanket immunity.
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 12:47 PM (R2fpr)
How is that a crusade? Yes, I know it's considered a grave sin to show Mohammad in such a light, but that doesn't make it a crusade, at least not according to the dictionary definition.
Posted by: Miss'80sBaby at May 17, 2010 12:48 PM (W396d)
Sounds like they're planning a food shortage.
Because the world was really a better place when families spent 25% or more of their income on food, or went to bed hungry when they didn't have the scratch. Really.
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 12:48 PM (mR7mk)
"reducing portion sizes of existing single-serve products"
I will laugh heartily from deep within the halls of Costco, holding my five-pound bag of M&M's triumphantly over my head.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 12:48 PM (V40IZ)
We are going to pay a price in blood for our unwillingness to call our enemies by their proper names. I thought 9/11 was a sufficient massacre, but apparently not.
Posted by: Monty at May 17, 2010 04:36 PM (4Pleu)
Calling our enemies by their proper names means acknowledging that some significant percentage of 1.3 billion people hate us enough to be willing to kill us even at the cost of their own lives, and for nothing more than our not being them. That is too frightening for many (if not most) Westerners to accept. It's less scary to think that a small cabal of members of our own government or members of a fairly tiny religious minority might be the real enemy, because then the scale of the threat becomes less terrifying.
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:50 PM (7AOgy)
"Reduced fat" Oreos have half the fat but 80% of the calories of real Oreos (which taste like crap now that they changed the recipe because of the "no transfats!" fad, so no point buying them except to make a pie crust...). They replace the fat with sugar and "modified food starch."
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 12:51 PM (mR7mk)
"In exchange for his cooperation. Mr. Van Pelt was given blanket immunity."
And now it is made obvious to those in neighboring cubes that I am not working.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 12:51 PM (V40IZ)
Posted by: Andi Sullivan's beagle at May 17, 2010 12:55 PM (RD7QR)
In exchange for his cooperation. Mr. Van Pelt was given blanket immunity.
Posted by: Blue Hen at May 17, 2010 04:47 PM (R2fpr)
Kudos to you, Delaware poultry!
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:55 PM (7AOgy)
Peanut Butter Oreos.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 04:53 PM (V40IZ)
Black on the outside, Brown on the inside? Like Obama with his Cinco de Mayo speech?
Posted by: stuiec at May 17, 2010 12:56 PM (7AOgy)
Ding ding ding! Bush's fault! Case closed!
Posted by: Soon to be Ex-ExZonie at May 17, 2010 01:01 PM (as47X)
Are they as good as putting peanut butter between Ritz crackers and dipping them in melted chocolate?
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 01:01 PM (mR7mk)
Posted by: bergerbilder at May 17, 2010 01:10 PM (S1Ttj)
Oooh. I don't think I've eaten peanut butter Oreos.
They're really good...more or less a cookie version of a Reese's. About the same chocolate / peanut butter flavor ratio.
Are they as good as putting peanut butter between Ritz crackers and dipping them in melted chocolate?
My papillae will be in their bunks.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 01:21 PM (F26eZ)
I've got a bold idea... lets use less dangerous weapons. Instead of "cartoons" that are clearly causing issues, lets drop more explosive ordinance in this war against terrorism.
More bullets more bombs, less of these too-dangerous-to-use cartoons.
Just to be nice to our opponent and not offend them needlessly.
Posted by: Gekkobear at May 17, 2010 01:28 PM (X0NX1)
No buddy butt Mohammed (pubah)
No buddy noes where I left m'damn keys
No gorey blewie uuuuluuuu.
(shaaaa)
Posted by: MSA Boyz Choir at May 17, 2010 01:38 PM (ypKYc)
Posted by: pig pen Marcie at May 17, 2010 04:35 PM (4WbTI)
Fixed that for you.
Posted by: Curmudgeon at May 17, 2010 02:26 PM (ujg0T)
They're really good...more or less a cookie version of a Reese's. About the same chocolate / peanut butter flavor ratio.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 05:21 PM (F26eZ)
There is no way that they are better than The Blizzard Oreo (with frosting that's supposed to taste like the Dairy Queen dessert). It's like a chocolate cookie with cake batter filling.
Posted by: blackrockmarauder at May 17, 2010 02:40 PM (Y3C5w)
Posted by: andycanuck at May 17, 2010 02:45 PM (7b1Uc)
@143 - Thanks. I'll be stopping by the grocery store on the way home now. I will be the saddest panda if these are not available in my market sector.
I may become...frustrated.
Posted by: reason at May 17, 2010 03:21 PM (V40IZ)
Posted by: Frustrated at May 17, 2010 03:32 PM (xedsu)
@52: "You know, if American boys didn't have all these infidel hang-ups about older arab men trying to acess their squeak-holes, I wouldn't be frustrated."
Hellooooooooooooooooooooo, sailor! Oh, wait...you said American boys. Sorry, my bad.
Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at May 17, 2010 03:42 PM (kmEfr)
Did I really just kill a family of five because Olive Oil is Popeye's baby mama?
Wow. It's not even that frustrating. Just kind of bothers me, I guess.
Oh well.
Posted by: Dang at May 17, 2010 04:30 PM (UA4gE)
Posted by: Simon Oliver Lockwood at May 17, 2010 05:31 PM (c6Umi)
This idea I have in my head that it's a primitive, violent, totalitarian, anti-woman religion is all just a racist right-wing lie?
Posted by: HeatherRadish at May 17, 2010 04:33 PM (mR7mk)
You're talking about California....right?
Posted by: torabora at May 17, 2010 06:22 PM (Lt+t9)
Posted by: The Chicken at May 17, 2010 06:27 PM (Lt+t9)
Posted by: Eric Holder at May 17, 2010 09:55 PM (NUHcX)
Posted by: Tantor at May 18, 2010 03:03 AM (Ek/Oc)
Posted by: منتديات at May 19, 2010 06:19 PM (RMzgq)
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Maybe he felt boxed in...
Posted by: Dang Straights at May 17, 2010 11:57 AM (fx8sm)