Ace of Spades HQ

August 17, 2010

Comedy At Midnight
— Ace

Drew was going to post about this, but gave up, I guess, because what can you say about Keith Olbermann in full froth?

The Murrow of the Modern Age begins his Very Special Comment on the Ground Zero Mosque by quoting First they came for the Communists, but I said nothing, for I was not a Communist... and it really just kind of gets more hyperbolic than that.

He warns, quite seriously, of a New Holocaust coming, based on objections to the Ground Zero Mosque (and he then goes on to explain it's not a mosque and there is no ground zero or something).

At Olbermann watch, they have a robot voice reading his script. It's a little better than Olby's histrionics.

Newsbusters has the script.

Look, you have to admit: The guy is funny. When he starts frothing it up, look, I laugh. He brings me pleasure. He brings me joy.

He will bring me more joy when he cries so hard in the bathtub on November 3rd that he calls out sick from work for the fiftieth time, but this is pretty good too.

Finally, tonight, as promised, a "Special Comment" on the inaccurately described "Ground Zero mosque."

I like how he says, "as promised," as if we were all sitting around wondering, "Gee, is he going to do it tonight? Is he going to do it tonight as promised?"

It's like when a friend who borrowed money pays you $3000 back. And he says, "There you go, as promised." And you say, "Thank you so much!" Because you really did want that $3000 back, and you're very happy your friend honored that promise to repay.

Except in this case it's not $3000, it's a broken-down fat-bodied old fool ranting and raving on the air because he's mixing medications again, and yeah, he promised you he would do it, but it was more akin to a threat than a promise you wanted honored, seriously, you're kind of upset he remembered, and yet here's this fat-assed old gray fairy telling you "I am reading to you this retarded script I stream-of-conscious brain-queefed out fifteen minutes ago, as promised," and you're like, "Um, thanks...? I guess...?"

I will attempt to indicate his Extended and Emphatic Nostril-Exhalations of Righteous Fury as they occur.

"They came first for the communists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. And then they came for me and by that time, no one was left to speak up."

Nostril exhalation, then he looks up at the camera.

Pastor Martin Niemoller's words are well known, but their context is not well understood.

Yes, actually, it is. But whatever. I sort of doubt that's going to be my biggest objection to this idiot.

Niemoller was not speaking abstractly.

Yeah, Keith. I got that it wasn't a fucking metaphor or something. Yeah, I've heard stories about what went down in Germany in the late thirties.

But no, you put me straight and put me square, Keith. What on earth was he talking about?

He witnessed persecution; he acquiesced to it.

I know. That's sort of the whole point of the quotation.

He ultimately fell victim to it.

Really? I didn't know that. Even though he says that right at the end of the quote. "And then they came for me..."

See? He says it right there.

I think maybe the "context" is better understood than you're crediting us for.

He had been a German World War I hero, then a conservative who welcomed the fall of German democracy and the rise of Hitler, and he had few qualms about the beginning of the Holocaust until he himself was arrested for supporting it insufficiently.

Ah, he was a "conservative," by which Olbermann means, of course-- Nazi.

And yeah, again, the "few qualms" part? It's in the quote.

But listen to Keith, Conservatives/Nazis: This shit can happen to you. Keith's letting you know the context.

NiemollerÂ’s confessional warning came first in a speech in Frankfurt in January 1946 Â– eight months after he had been liberated by American troops. He had been detained at Tyrol, Sachsen-hausen, and Dachau for seven years.
He survived the death camps.

I actually didn't know that in detail, but I did get that something bad happened to him from the quote, the part where he says "And then they [the Nazis] came for me..." I guessed that they were coming for a bad purpose, and not just to bring him to a hot dog roast or Maroon 5 concert or something.

So, again, most of this context? Check!

In quoting him, I make no direct comparison between the attempts to suppress the building of a Muslim religious center in downtown Manhattan and the unimaginable nightmare of the Holocaust.

Oh of course not.

Where could we have gotten that idea?

Such a comparison is ludicrous...

Thank you for admitting that. For a second, I thought you had really gone off the rails for real.

... at least, it is now.

Uh-oh. I spoke too soon.

So, the comparison is ludicrous -- but The New Holocaust is coming to getya, yo!

Saying it's going on now is ludicrous, but saying the New Holocaust will come inevitably in the near future if we reject an inappropriately placed mosque ins't ludicrous -- indeed, it's brilliant.

Nostril exhalation.

But Niemoller was not warning of the Holocaust, he was warning of the willingness of a seemingly rational society to condone the gradual stoking of enmity towards an ethnic or religious group or more than one...

Um, again, I got this context.

You know what makes this such a great quote? What makes it so quotable? What makes it so famous?

It's because it makes its points rather succinctly and clearly, Keith.

See, the reason this quote is immortal, whereas your explication of it will not last the week, is that this quote is powerful and full of meaning, whereas you are impotent and insensible.

I love that Keith thinks here he's going to improve on the quote.

Next up: A Very Special Annotated Reading of Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol, featuring Keith's very special explanations of the clear words of one of the English language's greatest writers.

Let Keith Olbermann improve Charles Dickens for you. As promised.

Nostril exhalation. By the way, he's still in the middle of explaining something that is quoted to schoolchildren precisely because it stands so well without any explanation.

... warning of the building up of a collective pool of fear and hate, warning of the moment in which the need to purge outstrips the parameters of the original scapegoating, when new victims are needed because a country has begun to run on a horrible field of hatred Â– magnified, amplified and multiplied by politicians and zealots within government and without.

Let me add context to this part of Keith's Very Special Comment:

You know in a preview? Like for a movie? Like they spend the first minute of it explaining the situation to you in clear words and slow-moving pictures? So you get the basics?

And then, halfway through, they start showing fast-cuts of images scattered throughout the movie in an effort to convey action and excitement and quickening pace and heightening tension?

This is what Keith is doing. His words mean nothing here. He just starts jotting down synonyms for hate and fear and shit. And he doesn't even take care about sentence structure or clarity during this part, because none of these words is supposed to stand on its own, just like the quick-shots at the middle/end of a thriller trailer aren't supposed to stand on their own. They're supposed to blur by with Furious Speed and Great Importance so that you get the sense that Something Interesting Is Happening.

And that's all this shit is. It's Keith tossing out the verbal equivalents of a butcher knife coming through a door, a car speeding on a rainy country road, a mother crying and dropping to her knees at awful news, and a scientist shocked at what he finds in a specimen jar.

So, like the beginning of his very special comment is all, like:

Imagine a world...

in which everything you thought was real, was fake....

everything you thought was right, was wrong...

and everyone you trusted -- wanted your brain...

Right? And then this part is when the staccato percussion starts and you start seeing quick-shots of people jolting and doors opening and tires squealing and people screaming at a black female judge who bangs her gavel and gives that "oh no you di'n't" face.

Nostril exhalation -- and boy has he fucking earned it by now.

Niemoller was not warning of the Holocaust.

Actually he was.

He was warning of the thousand steps before a holocaust became inevitable.

No he was warning of the Holocaust, I assure you. Yes, the Holocaust, with people being "come for" in the middle of the night. See, he says it. Right there.

See, the reason Keith is insisting this is not about the Holocaust but about a "thousand steps" before the Holocaust is that he wanted to lead with the quote, knew he would be (properly) mocked as overly-histrionic once again, and so he's trying to use the quote but claim, oh, the quote is talking about like Germany in, like, 1930. Or even earlier. Hell, maybe before the twentieth century.

Way before the Holocaust. Waaaayyy before the Nazis even came to power. So it's like perfectly analogous!

Except the quote is in fact about the Holocaust -- Google it. So Keith is just basically using a quote he knows he should be using and deliberately twisting its meaning by making up "context" just so he doesn't look like quite as demented a madman hack for using it than he otherwise would.

No sale, Keith. Doesn't work. You're a fucking sputtering old fat fool trying to amp up his ratings by selling political pornography to "progressive" perverts and you're trying to cling to some thin layer of plausible deniability by deliberately warping one of the world's most famous and most important quotes to your own sick schizophrenic paranoid partisan ends.

Nice try, though. Really.

If we are at merely the first of those steps again today, it is one step too close.

Because I don't want a Hamas-supporting, America-blaming, terrorist-excusing Imam to build a Saudi-funded super-mosque at the site of 3000 dead due to Islamic radicalism?

Um, I'm willing, like Barney Frank, to roll the dice a little.

Again, all this "early steps" shit is the thinnest hack pretense to use that quote and cry "Holocaust!" while claiming to his critics "I did no such thing."

You know how you can tell even he knows this is a lie? He begins with the quote, speaking plainly of Nazis "coming for" people, and then says "He was not speaking abstractly." In other words: He was speaking literally, of people literally, not metatphorically, being disappeared by Nazis in the night.

But three paragraphs later Keith is telling you he meant this all as a metaphor, that what he was really talking about were small steps of persecution way before the actual knocks at the door.

Yet in a country dedicated to freedom, forces have gathered to blow out of all proportion the construction of a minor community center to transform it into a training ground for terrorists and an insult to the victims of 9/11 and a tribute to Medieval Muslim subjugation of the West. There is no training ground for terrorists. There is no insult to the victims of 9/11. There is no tribute to Medieval Muslim subjugation of the West. There is, in fact, no "Ground Zero mosque."

At this point in the trailer, you'd now be out of the scary music part and now they'd show a man and woman embracing as violins sweetly rise (because they don't want to end on a downer) and the voice says...

New Line pictures invites you...

to enter a world of...

unexpected possiblities...

See, like, he's about to really sell you on the movie and give you the title.

It is not a mosque. A mosque, technically, is a Muslim holy place in which only worship can be conducted. What is planned for 45 Park Place, New York City, is a community center. It's supposed to include a basketball court and a culinary school.

At this point, like, Diane Lane is, like, chopping onions at a chef's school? And she starts to cry, but Gerald Butler sees her and makes a silly face, so she laughs? It's all cute, you know. They look good together. You want them together, and stuff?

Nostril exhalation bordering on a rude snort.

It is to be 13 stories tall, and the top two stories will be a Muslim prayer space.

Also called a mosque.

What a cauldron of terrorism that will be. Terrorist chefs and terrorist point guards. And truly those who will use the center have more to fear from us than us from them, for there has been terrorism connected to a mosque in this country, in this year.

Like I think this is supposed to be the funny part of the trailer, to let you know it's not all Diane Lane chopping onions and people yelling? So like at this point, Queen Latifa comes out and says, "Girl, you gots to get on that boy! He fine!" And she says it all "street" and stuff, even though she's dressed as a judge, so it's funny, right? And like it's a rule in Hollywood that whatever Queen Latifah is funny? Even though that's not, like, ever been remotely close to true?

Okay, I have to skip ahead. Jesus this is a windy motherfucker and I thought I was a windy motherfucker. Okay, here we go:

...
And is there not a logical extension to Mr. GingrichÂ’s conclusions about Cordoba and triumphalism? Virtually every church, virtually every synagogue, every mosque built on this continent stands where a Native American lived or died or was buried or saw his world Â– his religions included Â– wiped out, by us. What are we, then, Mr. Gingrich?

We're people who don't want that shit we pulled on the Indians happening to us.

You disagree with that, moron?

What, we killed the Indians in war, so we deserve whatever comes our way?

Okay, so now the title of the movie comes up, right? And it's a movie about a 50 year old, glasses-wearing, fat-assed-but-hides-it-on-tv broken down old man who probably has to take Viagra just to make it to second base?

And the man is, like, totally retarded? But he has a gift, or something, that only his sister Diane Lane can recognize? And she's dating a scientist played by Gerard Butler who wants to cut out his brain for being, like, too retarded?

And because it's a retard movie, the title of the movie is shown in crayon font, right, with some letters backwards? Because that's how retards write?

And the title of the movie is

K is for Keith

With the K's backwards? Like retarded?

So that's what I think about Keith Olbermann's very special comments -- they're like incredibly long, incredibly boring trailers for a low-budget movie about a demented retard in his mid-fifties who sets up a pretend tv studio in his mother's basement and does a "TV show" every night interviewing puppets and his pet mice Hugo and Hubert, while Gerald Butler wants to cut out and examine his brain because it's the Most Perfectly Retarded Brain Specimen in world history and his theory (for which he won the Nobel Prize) is that only a perfect retard-brain is the key to world peace and Diane Lane is his devoted sister trying to get a court order from Queen Latifah to stop him from seizing the brain but somehow they fall in love in a quickie montage set to September by Earth Wind & Fire and so Gerald Butler stops trying to steal Keef's moron-brain and they become friends and at the end of the movie Gerald Butler teaches Keef how to shoot basketballs and it's touching and funny but mostly funny because he's a fucking retard and keeps hitting himself in the face with the fucking ball like a fucking imbecile.

And then like, last shot, he's dancing in the middle of the street in the rain, turning in slow motion, holding a sparkler laughing with retard joy as September hits the chorus and we say the title again:

K... is for Keith

and then of course, the internet site for promotional material:

kisforkeithmovie.com

Oh, There's More: rdbrewer asked, "Does he have retard vision? Some special insight that makes the lives of normal people better?"

I haven't worked it all out, but I think like, Gerald Butler is wrong, he doesn't need the retard-brain for world peace, he just needs the retard to give a speech at the UN where he's all like "I like peanut butter... we all like peanut butter... no more war" and then like, everyone's like, "Fuck, that fat fuckin' retard makes a lot of fuckin' sense."

I think I forgot that part, the part at the UN. So imagine, near the end, he's at the UN, eating peanut butter with his hand out of a jar, exhaling through his nostrils, and there's like a cameo appearance by Dan Rather to say "Breaking newsss... a retard speaksss at the United Nationsss..." and we're all like so impressed to see a wannabe-celebrity news-prick do a cameo in a movie we're all like "ooooooh, Dan Rather, I guess this shit has the texture of reality to it," despite the fact that Dan Rather's in "news broadcasting business" as much as I fuckin' am.

Posted by: Ace at 08:12 PM | Comments (406)
Post contains 3006 words, total size 18 kb.

1 Thanks for the link to Olby watch with the robot link. That made it tolerable.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:17 PM (t0jpM)

2 What, no mention of the great Alfred Dreyfus?

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:21 PM (t0jpM)

3 Thanks for watching this drivel so I don't have to. Olberman's lunatic ravings are too creepy for me, all I can think of while watching is that he would make a great test subject for anti-psychotic drugs.

Posted by: Boots at August 17, 2010 08:22 PM (06JTY)

4 Bwahahahaha! Awesome post, Ace (clapping) Bravo! Just reading this, I could feel the flecks of Keef's boiling spittle hit my cheeks and smell the stench of his awful breath with every exhalation.

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:24 PM (CfmlF)

5 And then they came for Blago, but I didn't say anything cause I know what a slippery bastard he is and I guessed he would get out of it just fine.

Posted by: Sam at August 17, 2010 08:24 PM (Cxsey)

6 Wait a minute! I think we're getting punked by Ace! Where is the angrily intoned "You Sir..."?

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:26 PM (CfmlF)

Nice, Ace.

Nice.

Posted by: notropis at August 17, 2010 08:26 PM (cjcCc)

8 Gosh, Sunday night football just won't be the same any more. Sigh!

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:26 PM (CfmlF)

And the title of the movie is

K is for Keith

When is the release date? Will it be in 3D? Is it true Sam Waterson put on 50 pounds to play Keith? Did they cut they bath tub scenes?

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 08:27 PM (xXyXP)

10 I'm sure Keith would be down with the klan building a white power cultural center across from the hotel where Martin Luther King Jr was killed. All to help build a dialog of course. Racial healing and all that.

Posted by: Darth Randall at August 17, 2010 08:28 PM (oLULt)

11 Keith Olbermann really should just slash his throat on camera, and I'm not HOPING he does that, I'm not being EVIL AND MEAN, I just think it would make great TV. Chris Matthews approaches KO's value as a horrible, horrible puppet who smells like farts, but no one can do it like Keith. I really would like to see YouTube footage of KO exploding.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 17, 2010 08:28 PM (eNxMU)

I call it painting with words.

Posted by: Keith at August 17, 2010 08:28 PM (t0jpM)

Terrorist chefs and terrorist point guards

Obama likes to play basketball...IT'S A CODE!

Posted by: dudeinsantacruz at August 17, 2010 08:28 PM (LSYoM)

He's trying to do lefty Glenn Beck.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:30 PM (t0jpM)

15 Who fucks Keith Olbermann? I think someone's giving him the impression that he's the shit.

Posted by: arhooley at August 17, 2010 08:30 PM (vzk/j)

16 It's supposed to include a basketball court

Is this so they can qualify for federal grants for midnight basketball?

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 08:31 PM (xXyXP)

17 And now ... Ace of Spades.

The. Worst. Person. In. The. World!

Posted by: Andy at August 17, 2010 08:33 PM (pRbtk)

I realy tried to read this. I realy.realy tried. But, ahhmm, Ace? No one ever has him on TV. Does he sill work on football durng halftime? Because no one watches him therir eather.The just turn the chanel to watch the other game on TV until the end of half time.

I bet eaven the TV crew on his show either falls asleep, or is watching somthing else on their laptopt or there new telephone thing-a-jig.

He is worthless. Get over it.

Posted by: Hous Bin Pharteen at August 17, 2010 08:37 PM (nRF6+)

19 10 Keith most likely has a problem with Glen Beck holding a fundraiser for veterans on 8/28 at the Lincoln Memorial.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 17, 2010 08:40 PM (mHQ7T)

And because it's a retard movie, the title of the movie is shown in crayon font, right, with some letters backwards? Because that's how retards write?

Ha! Does he have retard vision? Some special insight that makes the lives of normal people better?

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:40 PM (t0jpM)

21 Ace, that was fucking awesome!

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 17, 2010 08:41 PM (YVZlY)

22 Ace, you're on f'in fire, but don't burn all your adrenaline before Novembe, OK?

Posted by: someone at August 17, 2010 08:41 PM (DfAwB)

wow he's thinking about the mosque an hitler? what a mind he cannot connect who Hitler's religious cohorts were!

olberman no wonder you are such a wreck, the pretslee you must twist yourself into to defend the left freaks.

take a bath jerk.

Posted by: nauseated willow at August 17, 2010 08:42 PM (SbsTp)

Heh.

Bravo, Ace.

Posted by: DPR VIII at August 17, 2010 08:42 PM (O3d7u)

25 >>> Does he have retard vision? Some special insight that makes the lives of normal people better? I haven't worked it all out, but I think like, Gerald Butler is wrong, he doesn't need the retard-brain for world peace, he just needs the retard to give a speech at the UN where he's all like "I like peanut butter... we all like peanut butter... no more war" and then like, everyone's like, "Fuck, that fat fuckin' retard makes a lot of fuckin' sense." I think I forgot that part, the part at the UN.

Posted by: ace at August 17, 2010 08:42 PM (QbA6l)

26 I never watch Keith. A couple of times long ago to get the flavor but that's it.
But the descriptions are amazingly constant. Couldn't Kieth just skip actually appearing at this point and just play and endless loop of him saying:

The horror... the horror...

and be done with it?
Keith fancies himself a modern day Murrow when in reality he's the Walter Kurtz of media. Suurounding himself with sycophants and trying to suggest he's the one with morals while saying "it's judgment that defeats us."

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 08:42 PM (xXyXP)

I realy tried to read this. I realy.realy tried. But, ahhmm, Ace?

Hous, click through to the Olby watch link to the robot audio.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:43 PM (t0jpM)

28 Actually, I change my mind. Can you hook me up with your coke dealer too? Cause this is awesome.

Posted by: someone at August 17, 2010 08:43 PM (DfAwB)

29 So beautiful, should.have.sent.a.poet. *sobs*

Posted by: Dunkirk at August 17, 2010 08:43 PM (ZkQ3p)

30 *sigh* Apparently, I'm full of spiders.

Posted by: Keith's Medicine Cabinet at August 17, 2010 08:44 PM (Nw/hR)

31 er i think pretzel spelling was quite off. NBot as much as olbershcmuck is

Posted by: nauseated willow at August 17, 2010 08:44 PM (SbsTp)

The peanut butter comment knocked me off the couch. Jeezus.

"Like music, peanut butter will help us all save the world."

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:44 PM (t0jpM)

33 Reminds me of the tiny Hello Kitto dildo i saw floating in the gutter in Taipei after a typhoon.

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 08:45 PM (EiH7n)

34 We're people who don't want that shit we pulled on the Indians happening to us.

Posted by: Chinese Prosti at August 17, 2010 08:45 PM (O6OIL)

35 And then they came for Keith...but Keith was still bathing, so they waited until Keith's house boy finished scrubbing his back.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 17, 2010 08:46 PM (YVZlY)

36 What, we killed the Indians in war, so we deserve whatever comes our way?

Damn straight.

Posted by: Half the liberals I know, but don't question anyone's patriotism at August 17, 2010 08:46 PM (uiSCx)

37 I like the cut of this Olbermann guy's jib. And you all are banned and outed if you disagree

Posted by: Charles Johnson, Memory Hole Practitioner at August 17, 2010 08:46 PM (wDLWr)

And the title of the movie is

K is for Keith

Sean Penn stars as Keith Ohlberman in the Made for t.v. movie, "My Name Is Ma'am", he's worked hard for that title, let's remember to use it.

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:46 PM (CfmlF)

39 WHEEEEEEEEE!! POW! KAPOW!

Posted by: Keith's Synaptic Junctions at August 17, 2010 08:47 PM (Nw/hR)

40 I'm fricking still laughing. I've seen a dozen shows and movies with characters that had retard vision (sometimes it's a blind kid in a wheelchair), and they all end the same way. "We all like peanut butter. Let's be friends."

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 08:47 PM (t0jpM)

I ask all the women in the world to join me in a bubble bath with a glass of wine and candles.

well except those moslem women, that would be tortured and stoned, in the name of freedom for moslem men to kill if offended.. olberman first they came for the women, gays, conservatives, then they came for you. blah.

Posted by: nauseated willow at August 17, 2010 08:48 PM (SbsTp)

42 Keith Ohlberman stars in:
"The Trail Of Tears"

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:48 PM (CfmlF)

This was better than the rainbows...(sobs uncontrollably)...what does it all mean?

Posted by: double rainbow guy at August 17, 2010 08:48 PM (YVZlY)

44 "We're people who don't want that shit we pulled on the Indians happening to us."

Wait, you mean you would be opposed to Pechanga casino starting a new small pox epidemic?

Lefties never grasp that point, Ace. A lefty watches any version of Pocahontas (except for the porno versions, which I am partial to) and decides they are now experts on Native American history. By simply saying "America bad, hurt natives!" they expect us to roll over and say "thank you sir, may I have another?"

What the lefties don't get is that we on the right actually know history, and we acknowledge that America has done some nasty things over the years. We simply don't use those mistakes as an excuse to let people shit all over this country.

Posted by: wooga at August 17, 2010 08:49 PM (IhzyJ)

Keith Ohlberman is:

"Frothy Ruminations"

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 08:49 PM (CfmlF)

Keith breaks into song...

"It's my bathtub, and I'll cry if I want to"

Posted by: Keith "Leslie Gore" Olbermann at August 17, 2010 08:50 PM (YVZlY)

47 Very good Ace.

Posted by: Ronster at August 17, 2010 08:51 PM (4CsHc)

Excellent breakdown. By you...not him. Well, his breakdown was pretty epic as well.

I just hope you can get a "worst person in the world" before he breaks down for good, burns all his bridges at MSDNC, and ends up co hosting a radio show with Dan Patrick in 6 months.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 08:52 PM (IRwVS)

49 Kill everyone except Keith. He pees guilt over the Native Americans.

Posted by: The Muslim Hoard at August 17, 2010 08:52 PM (Nw/hR)

50 So Gerard Butler doesn't actually need the brain but he going to seize it anyway? Now that is just plain evil. I would definitely side with Diane Lane here.

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 08:52 PM (xXyXP)

51 Well, Gerald Butler is a gifted scientist, but he needs to talk with Keith Olbermann and really HEAR what he has to say to understand that the human spirit lies not in the brain, but in the heart.

Posted by: ace at August 17, 2010 08:54 PM (QbA6l)

52 nauseated willow made this point upthread, but it cannot be reiterated enough. Nazis and their antisemitic message to the moslims during WWII, caused almost 90 percent of the strife in the middle east as we know it today.

So for limp dick keeth to compare the 2 just shows how absolutely fucking stupid he is.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at August 17, 2010 08:54 PM (PeMve)

53 10+++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Faye Kinnit at August 17, 2010 08:56 PM (l1oyw)

54 "Peanut butter really is the unguentine of our wounded souls. That kid's a genius!"

Posted by: UN General Assembly at August 17, 2010 08:56 PM (t0jpM)

55 Keeefy reminds me of the Titanic. He's hit the ice, the plates are buckled at the seams and he getting ready to sink even more in the ratings, but he is just to lame-stream media to know it. Whenever I get a little depressed I turn on Keefy's how. After about five minutes I turn it off and think "Damn, I'm sure glad I'm not that guy! I got it a lot better than I think," and whistle on to the next program felling a lot more happier and positive. I think I would jump out a window if I had to live in his skin for a day. Anyway, thanks for the great post. I vicariously lived through the moments and appreciate your sacrifice by watching him more than five minutes. DesertCactus can-you-hear-us-now.com I rather mean site to Progressives. In fact, damn mean site to Liberals, too. #

Posted by: DesertCactus at August 17, 2010 08:57 PM (N2R3z)

56 If you're gonna punch down, this is how you punch down.

Posted by: Burn the Witch at August 17, 2010 08:57 PM (fLHQe)

57 Brilliant, Ace. Keith thinks everyone is an idiot....except himself.

Posted by: TAO at August 17, 2010 08:57 PM (w3nku)

58 It's supposed to include a basketball court.

Hello... Imam Rauf? Yeah this is Barack. You think maybe when Michelle takes another trip we could get Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to the courts for some hoops? We'll say it's a benefit for some of the first responders and victims families of the World Trade Centers. They can watch us play to memorialize their loss or something...

Posted by: Barry O. at August 17, 2010 08:58 PM (jtnm5)

59 And is there not a logical extension to Mr. GingrichÂ’s conclusions about Cordoba and triumphalism? Virtually every church, virtually every synagogue, every mosque built on this continent [blah blah BLAH blah blah]

There's a reason that this proposed Islamic complex is named after a formerly Muslim city. And the Hagia Sophia wasn't always called the Hagia Sophia. And there's a reason the Turks drag their feet when it comes to building permits for Christian churches. Maureen Dowd just penned some horse crap about the 9/11 mosque. How many churches did she see while she was taking her grand tour of the Magic Kingdom? Screw that. Every Muslim poet for the last 500 years seems to have composed an ode devoted to the lost glories of Andalusia. We know OBL wanted every last acre trod by a Muslim foot returned to the Caliphate. Screw that, too.

Islam reminds me of that story Carl Sandburg attributed to Abraham Lincoln -- the one about the rich farmer declaring "I ain't greedy, I only want what joins mine."

Posted by: mrp at August 17, 2010 08:58 PM (HjPtV)

60 When Europeans got here 500 years ago (not the ones that got here many thousands of years ago) they found a native population for whom war, conquest, torture, and slavery were quite common. The modern vision of the Native American is just as much a fiction as the earlier model of a raging savage. They had this Continent to themselves for 15,000 years and all they could come up with was popcorn and maple syrup. Weep for them Keith.

Posted by: eman at August 17, 2010 08:58 PM (Nw/hR)

61 what the fuck is a hot dog roast?

Posted by: fartbubble at August 17, 2010 08:59 PM (gAmQ1)

62 Well, Gerald Butler is a gifted scientist, but he needs to talk with Keith Olbermann and really HEAR what he has to say to understand that the human spirit lies not in the brain, but in the heart.

Posted by: ace at August 18, 2010 12:54 AM (QbA6l)

But can he really understand it? Isn't the true power of the Most Perfectly Retarded Specimen the ability to suspend the need for understanding which is what convinces the UN?

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 08:59 PM (xXyXP)

Posted by: Barry O. at August 18, 2010 12:58 AM (jtnm5)

I hope Imam Abdul Rauf invites former basketball player Mahmoud Abdul Rauf to play. AKA Chris Jackson, and someone who refused to stand for the National Anthem before games.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 09:00 PM (IRwVS)

64 56: yup!

Posted by: Calling Someguy at August 17, 2010 09:01 PM (wDLWr)

65 these olbermann tirades should be used as criminal rehabilitation videos ala "A Clockwork Orange"

Posted by: el mao at August 17, 2010 09:01 PM (RZ5o3)

66 They had this Continent to themselves for 15,000 years and all they could come up with was popcorn and maple syrup.

Don't forget pemmican.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at August 17, 2010 09:02 PM (PeMve)

67 The Kieth vibrates

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:02 PM (EiH7n)

68 OK, who else actually clicked on the K is for Kieth Movie link?

Posted by: Filly at August 17, 2010 09:02 PM (TCbQr)

69 There's like a line where he's like, "I'm not brain-damaged just because I can imagine a world without HATE!!!!" And everyone's like, fuck, what a retard. Such a world exists only in a retard's demented imaginings. But, see, he's RIGHT. He can SEE what they can't.

Posted by: ace at August 17, 2010 09:02 PM (QbA6l)

First they came for the Christians, but I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Christian. Then they hanged all the gays, but I didn't speak up because I wasn't gay. Then they stoned a woman to death because she had been raped, but I didn't speak up because I hadn't been raped. Then they fucked the goats, and I just thought, man am I glad I'm not that goat.

Then they wanted to build a shithole mosque near Ground Zero, and I said NO FUCKING WAY.

Posted by: Pastor Niemoller at August 17, 2010 09:02 PM (0pBLV)

71 "Then they came for the douchebags, and, well, I spoke up at that point."

Posted by: Keith at August 17, 2010 09:03 PM (t0jpM)

72 Imagine being trapped in a stuck elevator with Keith.

Posted by: eman at August 17, 2010 09:03 PM (Nw/hR)

Wow, that damn Keef guys is almost genious-like!

I have always wondered what that damned quote meant. It was like gobblygook to me until Keef broke it all damned to me. I mean, that whole part about they came for this and they came for that and they they came for me....I thought is was about some ho or something.

Do you think he could break down another quote that has had me stumped since forever? I don't know who said it first, or when they came up with it but it goes : "A is for apple"?

I mean, like WTF does that mean when you go all contexty and all like this Keef guys does so well....and for so very very long?

Posted by: redstatedeb at August 17, 2010 09:04 PM (ykmvs)

74 Is there a scene where Keith solves the debt crisis by counting cards in Vegas?

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 09:04 PM (xXyXP)

I hope Imam Abdul Rauf invites former basketball player Mahmoud Abdul Rauf to play. AKA Chris Jackson, and someone who refused to stand for the National Anthem before games.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 18, 2010 01:00 AM (IRwVS)

That's the guy I was thinking of. Yeah me and him would get along great... we both ignore the National Anthem when we hear it!

Posted by: Barry O. at August 17, 2010 09:04 PM (jtnm5)

76 His brain is ribbed for it's pleasure.

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:04 PM (EiH7n)

77 65 these olbermann tirades should be used as criminal rehabilitation videos ala "A Clockwork Orange"

Posted by: el mao at August 18, 2010 01:01 AM (RZ5o3)

For Keith's torment, they'd play segments of Glenn Beck's show.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 17, 2010 09:04 PM (YVZlY)

78 As mentioned above, just who were the Nazi's allies and ideological successors, anyway? Free-markeeters? Evangelical Christians? The ADL, right?

Posted by: Randy at August 17, 2010 09:05 PM (GtTYq)

wow

a little cranked up, maybe?

enjoyable, but WOW.

The only suggestion I would make would be for the UN speech--peanut butter is a very dangerous substance these days, and unless you are going to give Keef (and perhaps that would be redemption for Butler's character by changing his cientific quest?) the ability to TRANSCEND anaphalactic peanut butter shock by coming forward as the awry product of assisted fertility and showing the way to others through a kind of Lorenzo's Oil sort of thing.

wow.

Posted by: barbarausa at August 17, 2010 09:05 PM (gRgC6)

First they came for the Communists, but I said nothing, for I was not a Communist.

So he lied right out of the chute.

Btw, when did we come for the Communists? I missed that, and could have used some good news.

Posted by: Jay Guevara at August 17, 2010 09:05 PM (DvB7A)

81
Imagine being trapped in a stuck elevator with Keith.

Oh God no!

Posted by: TAO at August 17, 2010 09:05 PM (w3nku)

82 Imagine being trapped in a stuck elevator with Keith.

Depends, is there a camera in said elevator?

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at August 17, 2010 09:05 PM (PeMve)

83 Peanut butter, bad idea. Do you know how many people are allergic to peanuts? I'm talking anaphylactic, epi pen allergic. That is the reason you no longer get little packages of peanuts on airplanes any more.

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 09:06 PM (CfmlF)

84 The barbarian pagans who worship the child molester mohamed are the they. they are the Nazis. Which one of you let the plan for their extermination slip? That was supposed to be a secret. What do you expect from a closeted homosexual who graduated from a cow college? All he really has any practical knowledge on is sexing chickens and manure ratios.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 17, 2010 09:06 PM (i6UsH)

85 just needs a coked up Ed Schultz reading this

Posted by: fartbubble at August 17, 2010 09:06 PM (gAmQ1)

Maybe Keef can work on this fairly freaky sentence from my last poast:

" It was like gobblygook to me until Keef broke it all damned to me"

WTF? I was wroking for something along the lines of "broke it all down for me" Shit this quote stuff is hard!

Posted by: redstatedeb at August 17, 2010 09:06 PM (ykmvs)

87 But, see, he's RIGHT. He can SEE what they can't.

Posted by: ace at August 18, 2010 01:02 AM (QbA6l)

But only when he dunks his head under in the tub. The eating peanut butter scene has him sitting in a tub...on the floor of the UN.

Posted by: Rocks at August 17, 2010 09:07 PM (xXyXP)

88 Imagine being stuck in hell with,,,,Mom! Mom!!

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:07 PM (EiH7n)

89 Keith can't get his freak on until he gets his froth on. I pity the fool who is his camera man. Dude must wear goggles and a shower cap every night.

Posted by: runningrn at August 17, 2010 09:07 PM (CfmlF)

90 So he lied right out of the chute.

Kindly do not refer to Olby and a chute in the same sentence.

Posted by: Filly at August 17, 2010 09:08 PM (TCbQr)

91 Ace- Frickin' Awseome!

Posted by: TC-me at August 17, 2010 09:09 PM (zXEJ3)

92 I got news for you all. You can fuck a chicken whether its a male or a female. Learned that in a second year class called Little Known Secrets of Poultry. Had a great lab.

Posted by: Keef Olbermann at August 17, 2010 09:09 PM (0pBLV)

93 Leave a note in Keith's office that reads, "There are 12 Cylon models"

Posted by: eman at August 17, 2010 09:09 PM (Nw/hR)

94 Being stuck in an elevator with Queef could lead to some incredibly sore knuckles and dented steel toes.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 17, 2010 09:09 PM (i6UsH)

I like how he says, "as promised," as if we were all sitting around wondering, "Gee, is he going to do it tonight? Is he going to do it tonight as promised?"

Finally, that sweet Special Comment. Whooboy. Kept me waiting.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 09:10 PM (t0jpM)

96 Back in the day I used to have pleasant daydreams about seeing Dan Rather walking on the side of a desolate county road, and then running him over with my truck.

I think I may have found a new white whale.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at August 17, 2010 09:10 PM (PeMve)

97 just needs a coked up Ed Schultz reading this

Posted by: fartbubble at August 18, 2010 01:06 AM (gAmQ1)

Just imagine a network bringing together Queefe, Blowhard Shultz, and say a verbose alcoholic like Chris Matthews. Think of how crazy that could get.

Wait what?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 09:11 PM (IRwVS)

98 I feel sorry for whoever Keithy is dating. OMG! He must ramble and ramble.

Posted by: TAO at August 17, 2010 09:11 PM (w3nku)

99 89 Keith can't get his freak on until he gets his froth on. I pity the fool who is his camera man. Dude must wear goggles and a shower cap every night.

Posted by: runningrn at August 18, 2010 01:07 AM (CfmlF)

I pity his house boy.

Posted by: conscious, but incoherent at August 17, 2010 09:11 PM (YVZlY)

100 First they came for the homosexual pedophiles with cow college degrees...

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 17, 2010 09:11 PM (i6UsH)

101 What's daddy's white blood cell count these days Keef? Enquiring minds want to know.

Posted by: Cicero at August 17, 2010 09:12 PM (0pBLV)

102 Beat on the brat Beat on the brat Beat on the brat with a baseball bat Oh yeah, oh yeah, uh-oh. What can you do? What can you do? With a brat like that always on your back What can you do? (lose?)

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:12 PM (EiH7n)

103 Reminds me of that british gal who had never been kissed and wasn't too pretty and the shot of the audience where everybody is whispering to each other like oh this is gonna suck and she then sings and shows her pipes and wow.

Except in the Kieth version, he opens his yap and everybody says, yep, just like we expected. And Sienfeld is one of the judges says, And you want to be my latex salesman?

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at August 17, 2010 09:12 PM (664Zx)

104

Wait what?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 18, 2010 01:11 AM (IRwVS)

but then again, if Ed is actually sober, could you imagine him 2 hours into going through an eight ball? Fucker's heart would blow up and take a few others out with him

Posted by: fartbubble at August 17, 2010 09:14 PM (gAmQ1)

105 The climatic scene is when Gerard Butler and Diane Lane look into each others eyes really, for the first time, in true love, due to mutual recognition of Kieth, and they whisper "Sir" to each other. But first she blow's him....

Posted by: Mel Gibson at August 17, 2010 09:14 PM (xXyXP)

106 For the love of God, Ace, Keith is not allowed to have peanut butter ever again! EVAH!

_{(3 years later... I still can't get his taste off my tongue.})

Posted by: Keefum's Toy Poodle at August 17, 2010 09:18 PM (jtnm5)

107 Ace, just one thing missing: the precocious little girl that charms Diane, Gerard, and Keith, and just about everyone else in America that has a heart.

She is the only one that can see the real Keith. She sees the genius in him. She knows that his poo flinging is a sign of his genius.

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 17, 2010 09:19 PM (Vol3D)

108 Keith, the imams in NYC and inthe White House would probably rather that you shut the he'll up about the atrocities carried out by socialists and strict anti-Semites. You might cause people to think, you know? Stop mentioning Obama's Victory Mosque and maybe the furor will die down. Sincerely, your unworthy inferior

Posted by: t-bird at August 17, 2010 09:20 PM (FcR7P)

109 "If we are at merely the first of those steps again today, it is one step too close."

Um, by definition we are always at the first steps of anything. I am literally right now at the first steps of my plan to rule the world.

Posted by: fozzy at August 17, 2010 09:20 PM (ccEuN)

110 _{^{For the love of God, Ace, Keith is not allowed to have peanut butter ever again! EVAH!

(3 years later... I still can't get his taste off my tongue.)

Posted by: Keefum's Toy Poodle}}

Bitch, you don't want to know what he did to me!

Posted by: Toby the Beagle at August 17, 2010 09:20 PM (Vol3D)

111 She is the only one that can see the real Keith. She sees the genius in him. She knows that his poo flinging is a sign of his genius.

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 18, 2010 01:19 AM (Vol3D)

Rachel Maddow? Or Contessa?

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 09:21 PM (IRwVS)

112

Nice one Ace.

Posted by: Jim in San Diego at August 17, 2010 09:22 PM (oIp16)

113 I may not be smart, but I know what luvvvv is.

Posted by: Kieth Gump at August 17, 2010 09:22 PM (664Zx)

114

27 rd brewer

Okay.....okay...........I will have a couple bottles and try again.

I guess the Russian Socilist never killed the Jews. The invasian of Poland and the Gulogs are just Jorge Booossshh's lies.

The so-called "progressives" have murdered about 60 mil people. I would post the figures, but I don't think the liberal minds can put their minds on it. And I am not counting how much. China has got rid off. And North Vietnam, North Korea, Cuba, and.....I screw it. I need a my baby bottle. WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.

Posted by: Hous Bin Pharteen at August 17, 2010 09:23 PM (nRF6+)

115 Rachel Maddow? Or Contessa?

Or how about Chris Matthews?

Posted by: TAO at August 17, 2010 09:23 PM (w3nku)

116 During the final credits Susan Sarandon narrates Keith's tragic but inspiring death by immolation at a hotdog roast.

Posted by: eman at August 17, 2010 09:24 PM (Nw/hR)

117 i guess their ratings are as low as the last time i read about mnbc rankings.

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:25 PM (EiH7n)

118

^{Rachel Maddow? Or Contessa?}

^{Posted by: Delta Smelt}

Probably would have to be Contessa. Maddow's hair is too short to give her the precocious curly haired look. Probably have to dye it ginger or blondish for the extra "cuteness".

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 17, 2010 09:25 PM (Vol3D)

119 Probably would have to be Contessa. Maddow's hair is too short to give her the precocious curly haired look. Probably have to dye it ginger or blondish for the extra "cuteness".

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 18, 2010 01:25 AM (Vol3D)

I like TAO's idea. Chris Matthews is precocious after a 5th of Glenlivet. Plus the blonde hair....

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 09:27 PM (IRwVS)

120 I'm not sure who can listen to Olberman and remain sane. Then again, I'm not accusing you of anything of the sort.

Posted by: Michelle Obama at August 17, 2010 09:27 PM (0NFrC)

121 And then they came for the assholes, but I did not speak up, and they said, "Get over here, you asshole. We've come for the assholes."

Posted by: Queef Olbermann at August 17, 2010 09:28 PM (tm15w)

122 Out, damn sockpuppet!

Posted by: cranky-d at August 17, 2010 09:28 PM (0NFrC)

123 Ace my boy, this is gold. Work up a treatment with 3 sequels. I'm thinking we may need to make a couple of changes. While Dianne Lane is a good choice, I think audiences would rather see Jennifer Love Hewitt in the female part. Gerard Butler is one of today's best actors, but I don't see him in this part, picture Justin Long as the doctor. The part of Keith of course would have to be played by Robert Pattinson, you know, that kid in Twilight who sparkles. The kids are gonna love this movie, and I'm seeing a gross of 325 million!

Courier that puppy over to me hasta pronto!

Posted by: Bigtime Hollywood Producer at August 17, 2010 09:32 PM (Vol3D)

124 I fucking love this blog. That is all.

Posted by: William_Shatner's_Pants at August 17, 2010 09:33 PM (dhz9q)

125 Olberman isn't very logical, is he? The mass arrests conducted by the Nazis took place after Hitler legally took power in 1933. Mass arrests, large-scale imprisonments and executions require political power exercised by a government and its attending political class. Immediately after 9/11 there were no mass arrests, no state-sponsored rioting, and certainly no executions conducted by the federal government. That's pretty good restraint after watching people jump from the top of the World Trade Center towers and falling to their deaths; after watching the Pentagon burn from a direct hit by a hijacked airliner, and observing the crater left by another hijacked jet piloted by fanatic Islamist terrorists.

It staggers the imagination what a real Nazi government would have done after such a large scale attack.

Posted by: mrp at August 17, 2010 09:35 PM (HjPtV)

126

I like how he says, "as promised," as if we were all sitting around wondering, "Gee, is he going to do it tonight? Is he going to do it tonight as promised?"

Maetenloch: As promised the ONT!

Ace: As promised a double post!

Gabe: As promised morning headlines!

DS: Yay! They didn't let me down! I was sweatin there for a minute.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at August 17, 2010 09:36 PM (IRwVS)

127 You know what would make an awesome movie? One where retard Keith has stumbled onto some super sekret govt kode that only his magikal retard logik kan krack --a kode deskribing the laying of a foundation for some kind of Muslim Holokaust here in Amerikkka.

Retard Keith needs Gerard Butler me to safeguard him, building a heartwarming father-son type relationship, while running from a diabolikal Alek Baldwin whose looking to kill the retard to protekt the kode.

We kan kall it, Merkury Rising: Hot Bathtub Water.

Posted by: Bruce Willis at August 17, 2010 09:36 PM (5otfc)

128 Nice one Ace! Reminds me of the fiskings of old; and D&D candidate comparisons. Olby is like the fat kid that got sent off to procure a mountain dew for the grown ups. heh

Posted by: George at August 17, 2010 09:37 PM (nIw53)

129 More late night comedy.

Did you know Odipsticks father served in WWII?

First they came for one of my fathers, and I said "don't leave me daddy" - B. O.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at August 17, 2010 09:37 PM (664Zx)

130

^{I like TAO's idea. Chris Matthews is precocious after a 5th of Glenlivet. Plus the blonde hair....}

^{Posted by: Delta Smelt}

Yeah he could be. But the precocious part also depends on them having a couple of front teeth missing, cause you know that just doubles the cute, especially if they have a lisp.

Which brings me to who would be perfect, Barney Frank. He has the lisp, he has the removable grill, and hopefully he will soon have some more free time to be in the movie.

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 17, 2010 09:38 PM (Vol3D)

131 So is our plan to go after the communists first then the trade unionists or can we just take them out at the same time due to a fortunate overlap? And why am I always absent when these plans are drawn up? I'm getting a Martin Niemoller vibe from you guys.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at August 17, 2010 09:40 PM (xO+6C)

132 A compromise with democrats = complete enslavement of only one grandchild. A compromise with sharia law=you can rape only one grandchild.

Posted by: robotgossip at August 17, 2010 09:42 PM (EiH7n)

133 Aww Ace. Shut up! Just shut up, you had me at "as promised." Well played sir.

Posted by: Vince at August 17, 2010 09:42 PM (GpQZ/)

134

@72: "Imagine being trapped in a stuck elevator with Keith"

Look on the bright side - no jury in the world would convict you.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at August 17, 2010 09:43 PM (4TzSk)

135 Ace, you are el fuego. You, & this post, are divine.

Posted by: alw at August 17, 2010 09:45 PM (jrrHD)

136

ace is so fine i lose my mind.

excellant essay ace, only flirted because it is an ontpost, and it's expected.

Posted by: nauseated willow at August 17, 2010 09:47 PM (SbsTp)

137 I think he's been using MSPomposityBlindnessWizardÂ™ 2.0.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 09:49 PM (t0jpM)

138 Granted, I like Olbermann best when he's Ben Affleck, but as soon as I read your decimation of Olby, Ace, I'll probably need to change my vote.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at August 17, 2010 09:50 PM (swuwV)

139

i want to know if olberman is really this stupid or thinks he can say this and people believe this,

has he pondered at all who his friends are, who votes for whom?

che guarve fans vote DEM, socialists and communists vote Dem, anarchists vote Dem.KKK byrd.

is anyone fooled anymore? if they are. i guess you deserve what you've allowed for america.

Posted by: nauseated willow at August 17, 2010 09:52 PM (SbsTp)

140 Wow, Ace, don't shade your opinion there or anything. /sarc with applause

I like take-downs almost more than any other type of blog post. Mostly because we see so much shitty, hacky crap on the net everyday that deserves a warhammer to the noggin' but we realize, it isn't worth our individual effort.

But collectively, in the most individualistic sense of course, conservatives need to fight this crap. Every editorial comment on MSNBCNNYTWaPoLAT needs a blanket beating.

Posted by: Garbonzo the Garrulous at August 17, 2010 09:53 PM (oL8lS)

141 Only thing missing from the movie is an antagonist. Gerard Butler isn't evil, only misguided. What is needed is an evil entity, the government, conservatives, or some sort of right-wing cabal, also after the brain, because not only can it bring world peace, it can also bring world annihilation. Annihilation brought on by some retarded sentence the brain creates that kills upon hearing it, or something along the lines of the South Park recorder episode in which everyone relieves their bowels when a certain note is played.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at August 17, 2010 09:53 PM (xO+6C)

142 Ok, I know I know, I really shouldn't do this but someone had linked to Charles Johnson's opinion on the mosque and...yep, he's essentially taken the Olbermann position. You're a racist if you oppose the mosque.

Yep, the guy whose sole relevancy in the blogosphere was his response to 9/11 and focus on Islam's "rougher edges" shall we say, is now of the belief that opposition to the placement of the mosque at Ground Zero makes you a terrible terrible racist.

So then I ventured into the comments. The vast majority of them I've never heard of but there is the occasional old timer. Of course, all of them are convinced the Republicans have lost their way and they're the real true Republicans. Them and Charlie Crist (no really, they actually say this).

And I was thinking how sad the whole state of affairs there is. A few of the formerly conservative bloggers who went liberal in 2008 did so in a very gradual process. You don't just abandon your core beliefs overnight. You usually get disgusted by something the party did that makes you feel it lost its way or that it overreached.

And yet, here they are, exposed and naked to the world as fresh newly minted liberal hacks, and the Democrat party is about to get absolutely destroyed in November. The Democrats have never been worse off in their entire history than they are today. It happened so fast they didn't even the opportunity to lecture conservatives about why we were wrong and this is why you keep losing elections. The party they just jumped is about to get absolutely destroyed. And now these newly minted formerly conservative and now liberal bloggers have a choice - do they:

A) Admit they're wrong (in which they look ridiculous and merely just following trends)

or

B) Keep fucking that chicken.

If John Cole, Charles Johnson and Andrew Sullivan are any indication, they're giving it to that chicken good and hard. I don't even think they believe it anymore, but they have to do it to keep their readership. I almost kind of feel sorry for them.

Posted by: Phil at August 17, 2010 09:55 PM (tYODE)

143

I guessed that they were coming for a bad purpose, and not just to bring him to a hot dog roast or Maroon 5 concert or something.

I'd say a Maroon 5 concert is almost as bad as the Holocaust.

Posted by: nightwitch at August 17, 2010 09:55 PM (SbaLN)

144

I really enjoyed reading that.

Wasn't Olbermann saying a while back that Nazi comparisons were wrong? Or was that some other MSNBC hypocrite?

Posted by: BB at August 17, 2010 09:56 PM (qF8q3)

145 I had forgotten how really funny you can be when you are on a roll. Thanks for making me laugh so hard before I go to sleep. After a day of defending myself against "bigotry" for being against the ground zero mosque, this is JUST what I needed.

Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at August 17, 2010 09:56 PM (ZZ854)

146 A couple of recessions ago, a bunch of us were sitting at a table in a bar with the usual BS. Some guys were complaining about lost jobs and work.

An old Polish guy told the story of how they came for his father at 3:00 AM and he never saw him again.

Well, I can tell you I remembered that story and all of us felt a little foolish about complaining. Its one thing to read about this stuff and quite another to sit across from someone with reality like that.

It was a change in perspective about real problems I suppose, including I might add, a deep resentment about the big K twisting history and recent events to score cheap political points.

Posted by: Robert at August 17, 2010 10:04 PM (cd6Ip)

147 Did something happen in the 30s in Germany? Poland didn't invite them? I thought punch was served?

Posted by: wherestherum at August 17, 2010 10:09 PM (gofDd)

148 Now that was funny right there. Thanks ace!

Posted by: robtr at August 17, 2010 10:11 PM (fwSHf)

149 You know, it doesn't matter where you're from. Everybody likes peanut butter. You could be from the wild wastes in the rarefied air of Antarctica, the secluded spaces of Mwaat in the southern Pacific, or the crowded bathhouses of Amsterdam, especially that one on Herengracht next to the Cafe Wheels, but it doesn't matter. Everybody speaks the language of peanut butter.

Posted by: Keith at August 17, 2010 10:12 PM (t0jpM)

150 Hmmmm.

First they came for the strippers, but I wasn't a stripper.

Then they came for the blowjob artists ... WTF!?

Hell no motherfuckers! Now it's on like Donkey Kong!

lol.

Posted by: memomachine at August 17, 2010 10:14 PM (MwCol)

151 Nice work Ace.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at August 17, 2010 10:16 PM (xO+6C)

152 Hmmmmm.

First they came for the Communists,
Then they came for the trade unionists,
then they came for the Burlington Coat Factory.

Some fucking great coats there if there is that much of a rush.

Posted by: memomachine at August 17, 2010 10:20 PM (MwCol)

153

And then like, last shot, he's dancing in the middle of the street in the rain, turning in slow motion, holding a sparkler laughing with retard joy as September hits the chorus and we say the title again:

K... is for Keith

Geez, that's funny.

Posted by: Keith at August 17, 2010 10:23 PM (t0jpM)

154 whoops

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 10:23 PM (t0jpM)

155

Wow all this energy defending this victory mosque? I'm kinda a history geek and have read many military history books about the Byzantines, Visigoths, Franks, etc.. against the muslim conquests and seem to recall CORDOBA was the FIRST MAJOR city of the west (southern Spain) to fall to the Islamic armies. The first in europe at least. Thats where this group gets its name.

Maybe i've missed it, but I havent seen this point brought up anywhere yet. The point this hate group is trying to get across by naming this place the 'CORDOBA PROJECT' (or whatever the fuck) should be plain to anyone with a brain.

I've never seen more willing blindness in all my life. On O'Reilly, he had some demoRAT defending the mosque that couldn't have been more than 15 when 9/11 occurred. This point needs to be rammed home. I watched on live TV people jumping 100 floors up. It sickens me still. I'll never be the same. I can't even imagine the people who witnessed it in person. But many people claiming to defend this crap were too young to even understand what happend. If you're under 30, I don't think you have the right to cry about muslim persecution. Its chickenshit, and I hope i'm long dead by the time Europe willingly accepts muslim dimmihood. If it happens in the US, well, then I pray for that fucking astroid to destroy us all. The world doesnt deserve to exist if its under muslim tyranny. Trust me, I'm speaking for alot of people who are afraid to speak up. Islam is a filthy virus that needs to be contained. Let them have the middle east, but come here? Peaceful ones, yes.. but outfits who go by the name of bloody conquests of the past? (duh.. CORDOBA)... Not on your life.

How about when we leave Afghanistan, we erect a gigantic church called the church of Saint Charles.. as in Charles Martel. Same basic message. Now that liberals are so interested in religious tolerance, they'd have no problem with it (by the way.. you've lost the 'separation of church and state bs' argument for all time)... and for what? this mosque? haha they dont even think. I want a damn cross on every block after this and nobody better say a damn thing about it. and hell.. I'm not even that religious. But thats not what this is about. Its a battle for civilization itself

Posted by: John Frum at August 17, 2010 10:25 PM (9vQ7f)

156 Victory Mosque founder was a waiter.

Posted by: FlaviusJulius at August 17, 2010 10:29 PM (i6UsH)

157 I have been told, by a former Yugoslav now a US citizen, that when the Ottoman Empire expanded over their land several centuries ago, many mosques were built on the exact sites of former churches and temples.

In his opinion, this was sort of a victory celebration and a confirmation of their desire to convert the world to Islam.

Can anyone verify this?

Posted by: Robert at August 17, 2010 10:34 PM (cd6Ip)

158 Say what you will, but peanut butter is pretty fucking good shit.

Posted by: Josh Reiter at August 17, 2010 10:35 PM (w0WGh)

159 Bravo Ace !! Glen Beck brings teh funny also. http://tinyurl.com/24tj7tw

Posted by: Vito Vasalino at August 17, 2010 10:37 PM (2DxKT)

160 I only made it as far as the part where he screeded about a Catholic church. Well, nobody screamed "Jesus saves, we're just helping him" when they hit the towers. Asshole

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 17, 2010 10:38 PM (HlTna)

161 You had me at, "retard."

Could'a used some "short-bus" references, tho.

Nobody can inflate the spent condom of moral equivalence to the size of Himalayan reality like Mr. Olbermann.

Posted by: K~Bob at August 17, 2010 10:40 PM (9b6FB)

162 148 Did something happen in the 30s in Germany? Poland didn't invite them? I thought punch was served?

Posted by: wherestherum at August 18, 2010 02:09 AM (gofDd)

Nothing ever happens in Germany.

Posted by: History Began Yesterday at August 17, 2010 10:43 PM (9b6FB)

163 Keefys' type just hopes they come for him last. Little does he know assholes are at the top of the list.

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 17, 2010 10:44 PM (HlTna)

164

He is going to be SUCH FUN to watch on November 2nd.

It is the responsibility of every moron here in a deep blue state to

1) VOTE even if you hate the Republican in the Senate race (yes, that means Angle and Paul and Kirk and CASTLE)

2) CONVINCE at least 1 person you know to vote at least Republican in that race as well.

3) CONVINCE 1 person you DON'T know to vote at least Republican in that race as well.

If every conservative did that, we wouldn't even be questioning if we might take over the Senate.

MAKE KEEF CRY.

I personally cannot wait for Novemberto com so I can "thank" Boxer for our 5-hour LA gridlock yesterday...

Posted by: CAC at August 17, 2010 10:48 PM (lV4Fs)

165 Keith knows his shit. Learned it at an Ivy leaque Ag school. AAaaand that all you need to know about him SIR!

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 17, 2010 10:49 PM (HlTna)

166 Has anyone noticed that the news stations refuse to run any file footage of 9/11 while talking about this story that has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH 9/11!

I wonder why.

Posted by: pam at August 17, 2010 10:49 PM (h8R9p)

167 You're a fucking sputtering old fat fool trying to amp up his ratings by selling political pornography to "progressive" perverts and you're trying to cling to some thin layer of plausible deniability by deliberately warping one of the world's most famous and most important quotes to your own sick schizophrenic paranoid partisan ends.

Ace, that's some first-class wordsmithing. Alliteration, potent imagery, great rhythm and superb dramatic structure.

Keef Offalman: snappy political pornography for discerning progressive perverts.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at August 17, 2010 10:54 PM (kJXs1)

168 I wonder why.

Posted by: pam

So true. My H.S. sweetheart was on the 1st plane. Whenever this topic, or anything G-zero is mentioned, I think of her. She was a stewardess. From that perspective is how I view things. If I'm a little sceptical, because I read a little history on my enemy...so be be it.

And Keefy has no right to discount the feelings of ppl who lost loved ones. He has no right calling out, by name, on national TV, a person who lost a loved one.

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 17, 2010 10:58 PM (HlTna)

169

He is going to be SUCH FUN to watch on November 2nd.

Good idea. I might watch msnbc too. That would be fun.

Posted by: rdbrewer at August 17, 2010 11:00 PM (t0jpM)

170 *standing and clapping* Bravo Ace! *still standing and clapping*
That was beautiful. Keith and his "special comments" don't deserve that much attention, but you dissected it very well. I hope this qualifies for "worst, worser, or worstest person in the world. Probably not though, because then he would have to expose his ignorant argument. Bravo-Ace!!!

Posted by: BuckeyePundit at August 17, 2010 11:03 PM (JsI0k)

171

Mrs Boland...who lost a husband/son is called out by this cocksucker "Mrs Boland you will NOT see the mosque from ground zero"!

Posted by: hutch1200 at August 17, 2010 11:08 PM (HlTna)

172 ace, yer slicin' like a frickin' hammer tonight...

Posted by: ed at August 17, 2010 11:10 PM (Zsqn4)

173 Ace, you are the best! One of the all-time great hit pieces.

Funny how Olbermann uses all the available NYC real estate to score points on Rethuglikkkans, yet is completely oblivious to the obvious of question of "why do they have to build_right_the_fuck_there?"

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at August 17, 2010 11:12 PM (w9BEi)

174 You know who else warned of the inevitable steps toward holocaust?

Freidrich Hayek made the very same warning. He didn't even need to see it first hand, but rather just puzzle through the truth.

Socialism leads inevitably toward human pain and suffering. Always.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 17, 2010 11:18 PM (rUKTY)

175 O/T: Apparently, the WH has released a photo of Obama's birth certificate. Many on the left, and fake right, are holding this up as proof that anyone who had any suspicion of Obama's past is a stupid kook. Few problems. Some of the info is blurred out. More importantly, it's brand fucking new. Do you think when the President calls up the state department for a passport there going to refuse or ask for ID? He's there boss. Me? I'd like to see his passport from the 80's. Or his British one. Here's a link to some smugness and the photo... http://tinyurl.com/29chdfm

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 17, 2010 11:25 PM (WZFkG)

176

Â“The history associated with the building, a former Burlington Coat Factory store that closed after being damaged on 9/11, was a reason to pick it for the projectÂ”... she said.

The Cordoba Project head told USA Today this in May...she also called it a mosque.

(Olby is a liar...the interviews done in May and June, by the mosque organizers all said they wanted to build it on GZ to promote healing and other such nonsense.)

Posted by: pam at August 17, 2010 11:27 PM (h8R9p)

177 special comments...? they must ride the short bus

Posted by: A.G. at August 17, 2010 11:42 PM (oAVyq)

178 Also, as reported on FOX News today, a Greek Orthodox church has not received the necessary permits to rebuild after it was destroyed on 9-11.

Somehow the building permits have only come through for a mosque but not a church.

Odd, that.

Posted by: Nom de Blog at August 17, 2010 11:44 PM (rUKTY)

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Posted by: michael jordan shoes at August 17, 2010 11:49 PM (o3Wbg)

180 We Didn't Teach Retard Keith. Retard Keith taught us.

Posted by: Cliche Adult Role at August 17, 2010 11:56 PM (WZFkG)

181 Damn, ace, you're cookin' with gas here.

I saw maybe 30 seconds of Olbermann's spiel, and I barely got that far without lapsing into uncontrollable projectile vomiting. You really took one for the team, dude.

But no matter how hard Li'l Keith tries, he will never, ever be Edward R. Murrow. You can't fake class, or balls.

That said, Olbermann is well on his way to being Helen Thomas.

And I'll bet that really pisses off Rachel Madcow.

Posted by: MrScribbler at August 17, 2010 11:58 PM (Ulu3i)

182 What a coincidence! I am a Air Jordan fans too! I love to collect all kind of retro jordan shoes! I have one pair with fins and holes in the sides, and another with a crank in the front.

Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at August 17, 2010 11:59 PM (kJXs1)

183 There will be 'Nila Wafers!

Posted by: Mr. Dave at August 18, 2010 12:04 AM (jH9zI)

184 White man come....he kill our women, he rape our buffalos.

Posted by: Chief Queef at August 18, 2010 12:05 AM (jH9zI)

185 ... warning of the building up of a collective pool of fear and hate, warning of the moment in which the need to purge outstrips the parameters of the original scapegoating, when new victims are needed because a country has begun to run on a horrible field of hatred Â– magnified, amplified and multiplied by politicians and zealots within government and without.

The irony, it kills. Who is it that's spent every waking moment since his graduation from Cornell Cow School trying to gin up hatred for fellow Americans with a different viewpoint?

Posted by: Ace's liver at August 18, 2010 12:07 AM (LtIsn)

186 "CASTLE"

No need to go that far. O'Donnell is polling pretty well, so it seems to me it's time to go all-in on an actual deathpanel-repeal candidate and dump the fossil who's literally to the left of Olympia Snowe (and maybe Ben Nelson).

I'll vote for Fillion and Katic though.

Posted by: someone at August 18, 2010 12:23 AM (DfAwB)

187 Incidentally, given that the Delaware winner will take office immediately and that Castle actually voted for Cap&Tax, this is a big race in stopping the Lame Duck abomination.

Posted by: someone at August 18, 2010 12:27 AM (DfAwB)

188 In quoting him, I make no direct comparison between the attempts to suppress the building of a Muslim religious center in downtown Manhattan and the unimaginable nightmare of the Holocaust.

Actually, there was a very close relationship between islam and the Nazis - though the opposite of what Keef is trying to imply. Much of the islamic world was pretty gung ho about going Nazi. They liked the Nazis (and still do). The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem spent the war hanging out in Berlin, contributing to the Nazi cause by recruiting muslims in the balkans and helping with the "final solution". The Grand Mufti was convicted at the Nuremberg trials, but fled to Egypt, where he found sanctuary under Nasser.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 18, 2010 12:36 AM (Qp4DT)

189 BTW, Arafat was the Grand Mufti's nephew and the Grand Mufti helped out a young Muslim Brotherhood during his time in Egypt, which eventually spawned Al Quaeda - bringing us full circle in the nazi-islam story.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 18, 2010 12:46 AM (Qp4DT)

190 progressoverpeace knows his history.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at August 18, 2010 12:49 AM (jH9zI)

191 3D Porn related... (see sidebar) I wasn't alive in the seventies during the height of theatre porn so I've always wondered: Do people buy snacks when they go to a porno in a theatre? I mean huge tubs of popcorn? Swedish Fish? Goobers? Does some guy wander into a sticky theatre and say you know what would really hit the spot after releasing my second chakra? Some nachos.

Posted by: ChicagoJedi at August 18, 2010 12:50 AM (WZFkG)

192 "progressoverpeace knows his history."

Funny thing is that crazy Charles (see #142 above) used to know it damn well too.

Posted by: someone at August 18, 2010 12:51 AM (DfAwB)

193 I have one pair with fins and holes in the sides, and another with a crank in the front. Posted by: Otis Criblecoblis at August 18, 2010 03:59 AM Thats funny. My crank is in front too. I like peanut butter and licking windows. Let's be friends.

Posted by: Corky Thatcher at August 18, 2010 12:53 AM (yQWNf)

194 [Booming movie announcer guy voice:] "If you only read *ONE* Ace of Spades post this year . . .

[Queen Latifah voice:] Damn, sister! This is some of Ace's best shit evah!

[Booming movie announcer guy voice:] ". . . read "Comedy at Midnight."

[Sotto voce movie announcer guy voice:] "Coming to the Internet August 18."

Posted by: Z as in Jersey at August 18, 2010 01:02 AM (kZT4X)

195

196 progressoverpeace knows his history. - Mr. Dave

Yeah, his revisionist history. What he said at 4:46 was pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 01:17 AM (sYrWB)

196 MOOOOO!

Posted by: The cow olberfreak sodomized at Cornell AG at August 18, 2010 01:37 AM (9wLy+)

197 195 BTW, Arafat was the Grand Mufti's nephew and the Grand Mufti helped out a young Muslim Brotherhood during his time in Egypt, which eventually spawned Al Quaeda - bringing us full circle in the nazi-islam story.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 18, 2010 04:46 AM (Qp4DT)

Hmmm, and here I always thought that the foundation for Al Queda was laid by radical Wahabi fundamentalists in Sauda Arabia - not by Al Ikhwan in Egypt, nor by the PLF in Palestine. But you're saying that Yasir Arafat was Osama bin Laden's mentor? Who knew?

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 01:52 AM (sYrWB)

198 so i've only made it through 2 greatest hits (just found 'em recently - gift from god though safest on the can).

i am witness to a new addition?

Posted by: holy cats at August 18, 2010 02:02 AM (vQoSF)

199 -->But you're saying that Yasir Arafat was Osama bin Laden's mentor?

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:52 AM (sYrWB)

Show me where I said anything like that, you friggin' retard.

Do you always have such problems understanding simple English? I'd have that looked at.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 18, 2010 02:06 AM (Qp4DT)

200 Keith didn't gripe about Hezbollah and Hamas pitching rockets at Israel because keith wansn't a JOOO

keith didn't bitch about the no-go zones in Paris run by black Muslims because keith wasn't a frog

keith didn't complain about Afshan Azad's father & brother trying to kill her in the middle of london, england because keith wasn't a mick

keith didn't moan when Mark Steyn and Ezra Levant were dragged before Canadian star chambers at the behest of muslims because keith wasn't a canuck

On 09/11/01 they came for keith with a hijacked jetliner loaded with fuel, and keith didn't notice.

WHAT'S IT GOING TO TAKE, HUH???

Posted by: Hurricane567 at August 18, 2010 02:20 AM (RdiiF)

201

Re: #210 - Your inane comments speak for themselves.

You rignorance on many issues is stunning.

Fortunately for you, you can bullshit these dimwits and they don't know any better..

FYI, although Al Queda has a symbiotic relationship with organizations like Hamas ..., well, more or less ..., Al Queda's objectives diverge from the objectives of other Muslim terrorist organizations, and they have their own separate agenda. Granted, they're, um, radical. But there isn't any correlation between Al Queda and the Nazis.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 02:22 AM (sYrWB)

202 Awesome, Ace.. just awesome..

Do you think he will have a very special comment about how they came for Dr. Laura? Do you think he will rail on about how her Constitutional right to say an offensive word was taken from her?

K is for Keith.. love it!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at August 18, 2010 02:24 AM (Do528)

203 The other day, Ace spoke at length about how the left tends to focus solely on the symbology of an issue, rather than the practical, substantive issues involved. He cited the example of how they constantly bemoan how terrible putting up a wall along the southern border would be, since it'd send the wrong message and be a bad symbol. All the while they ignore that it's not a symbol, it's just a wall that will curtail illegal immigration, something the left pays lip service to being against.

We're seeing a bit of the inverse on the matter with the left on this issue with the mosque at Ground Zero. They ignore the symbolism of building a mosque there and focus solely on the physical side. They simply say that there's nothing wrong with building a mosque there because there's other things there and it's just a building anyhow, nothing to get worked up over. Also, shut up.

For all the supposed triple-secret dog-whistle code-word message-unraveling skills of the left, they can't see anything symbolic about building a mosque (that's not really a mosque) within walking distance of where the Twin Towers stood.

Of course, amazingly enough, Keith Olbermann DOES see the symbology involved. He's just deliberately trying to make excuses by saying that the symbology of not letting the mosque be built should trump that.

Posted by: Tom in Korea at August 18, 2010 02:26 AM (nS7nk)

204 212,

they are an organization in the business of using violence to advancwe a political and social agenda......

the rest is just noise.

In order for the PLO~AQ analogy to work we'd need a democratic political leadership that was willing to meet with the people responsible for bringing the towers down.....

a man who would meet or have the leadership of an organization like the Tolly-ban met with as a first step towards normalizing the public perception of AQ......

wouldn't know of any leader who had his SecState move the Tolly-Ban from the list of terror organizations without any payoff would you?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 02:29 AM (kq1lG)

205 214 Tom in Korea,

Cognitive dissonance and a fractured epistemology is their baseline operating stance.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 02:30 AM (kq1lG)

206

Keith, he sure is smart. He knows words and sentences, and how to use them.

Because he is very super smart.

Big words. Smart words!

Like that jingo word, and that other word, that is big, that is smart.

I wish I could learn sentences as well as he learn.

He is smart.

Posted by: Rev. Dr. E. Buzz Miller at August 18, 2010 02:33 AM (9/2L1)

207 Egypt's Muslim Brotherhood served as an inspiration for Al Qaeda. In fact, Al Qaeda was founded not by Bin Laden, but by Abdullah Yusuf Azzam, a member of the Muslim Brotherhood and former member of the PLO. Both intellectually and operationally, Al Qaeda can trace back part of its lineage to the PLO and to the Brotherhood.

Posted by: caspera at August 18, 2010 02:36 AM (4Adve)

208 I see what you did there Ace...and I like...

Posted by: truth at August 18, 2010 02:36 AM (XSD4n)

209

-->FYI, although Al Queda has a symbiotic relationship with organizations like Hamas ..., well, more or less ...,

That describes pretty much all Sunni terrorist groups. And even the Shiites work with the sunni groups, when convenient. So what?

-->Al Queda's objectives diverge from the objectives of other Muslim terrorist organizations, and they have their own separate agenda.

Again, you are the master of the obvious. All of the different muslim terrorist groups have their own set of objectives and agendas. Egyptian Islamic Jihad differed from the Muslim Brotherhood in their objectives, but pretty much all of the Egyptian terrorist groups can trace their beginnings back to the muslim brotherhood in one way or another.

-->Granted, they're, um, radical. But there isn't any correlation between Al Queda and the Nazis.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 06:22 AM (sYrWB)

There are connections in how they developed over time, which is what I wrote about. You want to call that a correlation (which really has no meaning when talking about two groups that existed at different points of time) and then deny it, fine. Disingenuousness seems to be your thing.

BTW, what happened to your proof of where I said the last retarded thing that you claimed - that "Yasir Arafat was Osama bin Laden's mentor"? If you couldn't find the piece where I allegedly wrote that, perhaps you should have some integrity and admit that you were wildly mistaken? But, no. For you, just making pretend nothing happened is how you seem to deal with this problem.

Posted by: progressoverpeace at August 18, 2010 02:40 AM (Qp4DT)

210 Acting as though the Muslim Brotherhood and the Wahabbi can't work together is pretty rich as well. They are both Sunni organizations with a penchant for violence. AQ was the fusion of OBL's wealth(and I suspect the other members of the Swiss family Bin Laden) and Islamic Jihad(the organization not the Muslim national pastime in general)'s expertise.

Egyptian islamic Jihad joined with AQ functionally, in fact you can make the argument that AQ is an offshoot of the PLO in methodology and organizational capacity quite easily.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 02:42 AM (kq1lG)

211

72 Imagine being trapped in a stuck elevator with Keith.

No thank you. Seriously.

I never watch the bastard, but Ace, you really made him come alive for me. A most excellent post.

Posted by: Rosalind at August 18, 2010 02:43 AM (iSlwh)

212 Sept. 12th marks the 9th anniversary of the "Infamous Racist Redneck Attack Against the Completely Innocent of Any Responsibility for Sept. 11 Religion of Peace." Exactly what is the body count from those ongoing attacks? My guess is that it falls far short of the Fort Hood body count. So can we now cut the shit about the horrifying persecution of Muslims in this country?

Posted by: Ted K. at August 18, 2010 02:53 AM (KpeIw)

213

Instapundit is glad you got his email with his "special blender recipes, wink wink".

Posted by: Cincinnatus at August 18, 2010 02:56 AM (TGmQa)

214

#220/#221 - Your arguments are specious; an amateurish use of smoke and mirrors in feeble attempts to save face. No substance. No facts. Just bullshit and pettiness.

Don't try to bullshit me. I'm a much better at this than you are.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 02:57 AM (sYrWB)

215 223 Ted K.,

just the Muslims being forced to reflect, "hey maybe our homicidal 'faith' is unpopular for a reason?" is a lot like the holocaust....Queef has made me see the light......

Thank God he saves his venom for Americans who disagree with the Democratic machine rather than adherents to a faith that is driving conflict in over 40 nations eh?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 02:57 AM (kq1lG)

216 Let history record that this was the moment at which "fisking" was supplanted by "olbermanning". The neologistic art advances, one pompous moonbat at a time.

Posted by: Prof. Mondo at August 18, 2010 02:58 AM (aORRd)

217 225,

no smoke and mirrors involved.

1) PoP didn't say Yasser Arafat fucked OBL and he suddenly got the idea for AQ

2)what he did say was that the spiritual Grandsons of Hitler's Muslim BFF were behind both.....

pretty hard to argue against that given it is essentially what happened.

again for the AQ~PLO analogy to be valid we'd have to have a democrat President decide to meet the leadership of a terrorist organization after having his SecState remove them from a terror list......

the Tolly-Ban comes to mind.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:00 AM (kq1lG)

218 OT: Illegal Immigrants More American Than You Worthless Americans

Posted by: FUBAR at August 18, 2010 03:05 AM (LPL4Z)

219 Ace, you are like unto a God.

Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at August 18, 2010 03:07 AM (2YkVy)

220

2)what he did say was that the spiritual Grandsons of Hitler's Muslim BFF were behind both.....

pretty hard to argue against that given it is essentially what happened.

Really? Perhaps the world's intelligence community should be apprised of your, um, insightful opinion on that issue. Their beliefs differ significantly from yours.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 03:07 AM (sYrWB)

221 Although Al-Qaeda functions independently of other terrorist organizations, it also functions through some of the terrorist organizations that operate under its umbrella or with its support, including: the Al-Jihad, the Al-Gamma Al-Islamiyya (Islamic Group - led by Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman and later by Ahmed Refai Taha, a/k/a "Abu Yasser al Masri,"), Egyptian Islamic Jihad, and a number of jihad groups in other countries, including the Sudan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Somalia, Eritrea, Djibouti, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Bosnia, Croatia, Albania, Algeria, Tunisia, Lebanon, the Philippines, Tajikistan, Azerbaijan, the Kashmiri region of India, and the Chechen region of Russia. Al-Qaeda also maintained cells and personnel in a number of countries to facilitate its activities, including in Kenya, Tanzania, the United Kingdom, Canada and the United States. By banding together, Al-Qaeda proposed to work together against the perceived common enemies in the West - particularly the United States which Al-Qaeda regards as an "infidel" state which provides essential support for other "infidel" governments. Al-Qaeda responded to the presence of United States armed forces in the Gulf and the arrest, conviction and imprisonment in the United States of persons belonging to Al-Qaeda by issuing fatwahs indicating that attacks against U.S. interests, domestic and foreign, civilian and military, were both proper and necessary. Those fatwahs resulted in attacks against U.S. nationals in locations around the world including Somalia, Kenya, Tanzania, Yemen, and now in the United States. Since 1993, thousands of people have died in those attacks.

http://tinyurl.com/n340

yeah I'll take your word over the FBI's ANY day.....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:08 AM (kq1lG)

222 231,

hey fella read my post....

the FBI says that EIJ is an AQ ally....

the PLO was a direct offshoot of the Mufti's big Egyptian adventure....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:10 AM (kq1lG)

223 231,

and "world's intelligence community" singular....so the entire world's intelligence community really agrees on anything as one body and you're calling me out for bullshit?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:11 AM (kq1lG)

224 http://tinyurl.com/2423gdz

Al Qaeda officially absorbed EIJ in February 1998, when Zawahiri and bin Laden issued a joint fatwa titled, "World Islamic Front against Jews and Crusaders." The fatwa, which called for war with Israel, Jews, western culture and western ideals, advocated killing "Americans and their allies, civilians and military," and liberating "Al Aksa Mosque and the Holy Mosque from their grip."

Soon after the fatwa was released, Al Qaeda attacked the U.S. embassies in Nairobi, Kenya, and Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania, killing 212 people and 12 people, respectively. Over 4000 people were wounded in the two attacks. In the following years, Al Qaeda escalated its terrorist activity against the U.S., attacking the U.S.S. Cole in Aden, Yemen, and carrying out the September 11 terrorist attacks.

The toppling of the Taliban regime in Afghanistan by American and coalition military forces in response to the September 11 attacks, forced Zawahiri, bin Laden and some of their top lieutenants to go into hiding. In recent years, Zawahiri has increasingly become the public voice of Al Qaeda, issuing dozens of statements on behalf of the terrorist movement.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:13 AM (kq1lG)

225

Cognitive dissonance and a fractured epistemology is their baseline operating stance.

I was going to say, thinking of Jon Stewart in particular, that there is something mascoscistic about how they pick a position.

Posted by: Cincinnatus at August 18, 2010 03:15 AM (TGmQa)

226 First they came for the hijackers, and I did nothing for I was not a hijacker.

Posted by: Cincinnatus at August 18, 2010 03:16 AM (TGmQa)

227 Last thought ... is an elaborate pompous Godwin worse than a quick and angry one?

Posted by: Cincinnatus at August 18, 2010 03:19 AM (TGmQa)

228 The thing about this quote that I never liked...what about when the communists come for you?

Posted by: nickless at August 18, 2010 03:19 AM (MMC8r)

229
236 Cinci,

it is the "must be the smartest man in the room syndrome" and to do that you can't be seen agreeing with the cattle....

so you come up with something brilliant like trying to ignore the indirect ties with the PLO and AQ.....

then something finally happens that knocks you back to reality for just a second....like say Danny Pearl a moonbat reporter getting killed....on that day for about 15 minutes Queef understood Islamic jihad(the national sport over there not the organization) like an intelligent human being.....

15 minutes until he resumed his mission.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:21 AM (kq1lG)

230

Pay attention, son.

I addressed pop's comments in their proper context. You haven't refuted anything that I've said. With respect to the last sentence in your post #233, that assertion is irrelevent and it isn't germane to the other issues which we've raised ...., and unless you are dense, you already realized that when you raised it as a diversion and as a silly distraction. Um, nice try, though ...., well, sort of.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 03:21 AM (sYrWB)

231 virtually every synagogue, every mosque built on this continent stands where a Native American lived or died

That's funny.

Considering there aren't enough people in American to cover every square mile of the country, let alone a population of "native americans" 1/10th the size, this man is an idiot.

Posted by: Jay at August 18, 2010 03:26 AM (EKpAZ)

232 241 Dad,

you are trying to castigate PoP over something he didn't write Dad....I would tell you to take a pill but something tells me that's how you got to where you were.

I have shown a direct lineage between EIJ and AQ and the use of Jihadi jim tactics in post-colonial times can be traced to the Grand Muffin going to Egypt.

I am going to have to set up that spinal tap after all pops.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:26 AM (kq1lG)

233

Queefy felt he had to explain the quote to everyone...beccause he didn't understand it and it was just explained to him

I had landed on Queefy's show a few weeks ago when he was just finishing up a segment trying to bash Dick Armey

...as a final attempt at insult, the idiot called Armey's name onomatopoetic

Get it....dick...and army??

..except that's not what the word means, dumbfuck..the word you're looking for is eponymic

That woman, Sarah Palin, is an idiot

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 03:40 AM (AnTyA)

234

#244 - And here I was distressed with Osama bin Laden when he lost his patience, broke off negotiations and went on a wild rampage to vent his frustrations with the dimwits imbedded in our State Department by Clinton.

But you know, after reading your goofy comments, I can empathize with the guy. Your rationales would try the patience of a saint. You're just so, so, so, well, so American. (Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.)

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 03:41 AM (sYrWB)

235 244 Bdubya,

yup Queef learned a LOT about cows at school.....

a LOT

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:42 AM (kq1lG)

236 246,

quite.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:46 AM (kq1lG)

237

yup Queef learned a LOT about cows at school.....

He has a degree in "communications" from the farm college

........what the fuck do they teach??..hog calling??

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 03:47 AM (AnTyA)

238 gotta love Norah O'Donnell trying to compare people opposed to the victory mosque with the people who the Victory Mosk is celebrating....

SomebodyÂ’s got to say that, Â“WeÂ’re not going to act like the people who stole freedom from Americans, the people who attacked America and killed 3,000 people.Â”

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:50 AM (kq1lG)

239 249 Beedubya,

I was thinking he majored in pick-up lines for cows.....

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:51 AM (kq1lG)

240

I was thinking he majored in pick-up lines for cows.....

Dude, that's fucking gross..

..now sheep..that's a whole different thing

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 03:52 AM (AnTyA)

241 Bluto: Pastor Martin Niemoller's words are well known, but their context is not well understood. Otter: Yes, actually, it is.
Boon: Forget it, He's rolling.

Posted by: la Cucaracha at August 18, 2010 03:53 AM (j5CHE)

242 252,

Pigs, Cows, Sheep......

so he has hit on....

Rosie O'doughnut, Hillary Clinton, and Janeane Gorillaflo

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:54 AM (kq1lG)

243 tonite olberman announces he is a communist and a muslim and is running frantically through the building with his robes flapping screaming they have come for me! they have come for me! a group of men in white coats and a net are seen chasing after him......

Posted by: phoenixgirl at August 18, 2010 03:55 AM (eOXTH)

244 255 PhoenixGirl,

Ace needs to get a deadpool started for who will have the first breakdown on election night.....

I am thinking it will be Queef, or possibly Couric.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 03:56 AM (kq1lG)

245

@14

He's trying to do lefty Glenn Beck.

Maybe, except Beck is often right, and frequently pretty smart -- at least smart enough to have good guests who can help you make some sense of his disjointed frothing episodes.

Keef is just... profoundly developmentally challenged.

NICE JOB, ACE!

Posted by: Miller at August 18, 2010 03:56 AM (x10cX)

246 That takes guts, Ace, to put it all out there like that. Longest post yet?

Obama has a contender for the title, THE Gift that just keeps on Giving GRIEF. Mental twins. Is there a clever conjunction of their names so they can SHARE the title (no winners if all are winners)? Olbyma, Obamann, Obamermann? Olberbama?

Eric Schmidt's got some advice.
1. Change your name.
2. Let Google plan your life; Google knows best.

Posted by: maverick muse at August 18, 2010 03:57 AM (H+LJc)

247

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 07:51 AM (kq1lG)

Speaking of sex with farm animals, years ago a friend decided he was drinking waaayyyyyyy too much (I a call it jsut being in your early 20's) so he thought he would go to an AA meeting to see what it was all about..

...apparently one of the steps involves getting up in front of the crowd and discussing your low point caused by alcohol abuse...and one guy got up and talked about having relations with a cow....

...and when he was finsished, people applauded

My friend decided his problem wasn't that bad and never went back

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 03:58 AM (AnTyA)

248 259 BDubya,

heh...I went to an AA meeting....come from a family of hard drinkers....realized that drinking wasn't the center of my life after all....quit and have never looked back

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 04:02 AM (kq1lG)

249 Keef Ohlberdouche stars in
"Full Affrontal"

Posted by: runningrn at August 18, 2010 04:02 AM (CfmlF)

250

GENIUS. BEST POST EVER.

Posted by: bledsoe at August 18, 2010 04:03 AM (eeFOI)

251 http://tinyurl.com/232mg94

Audio of Frau Botox going all in for the Victory Mosk

Pelosi wants to investigate the opponents of theMosk....

not the waiter who won the lottery without winning the lottery to get it rolling

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 04:07 AM (kq1lG)

252 This was a great piece to read first thing this morning! Well done!

Posted by: Tami at August 18, 2010 04:12 AM (VuLos)

253 Pelosi wants to investigate the opponents of theMosk....

Well that's how you keep the little folks in line. With a badge and a subpoena.

Posted by: Beto at August 18, 2010 04:12 AM (j5CHE)

254

Perhaps the greatest rant in the history of the blogosphere or even since Gutenburg

cast his first font

Posted by: Keith at August 18, 2010 04:17 AM (fUbxi)

255 265 Beto,

wonder if the newsies will be dumb enough to run Pelosi's threat....?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 04:18 AM (kq1lG)

256

Darth 10 I'm sure Keith would be down with the klan building a white power cultural center across from the hotel where Martin Luther King Jr was killed.

The better analogy would be for David Duke to build an "occidental studies" centre. But with squash courts instead of basketball. We are dealing with self-described moderates, after all.

It would still have a swimming pool, though.

Posted by: Zimriel at August 18, 2010 04:27 AM (9Sbz+)

257 194 In quoting him, I make no direct comparison between the attempts to suppress the building of a Muslim religious center in downtown Manhattan and the unimaginable nightmare of the Holocaust.

Actually, there was a very close relationship between islam and the Nazis - though the opposite of what Keef is trying to imply. Much of the islamic world was pretty gung ho about going Nazi. They liked the Nazis (and still do). The Grand Mufti of Jerusalem spent the war hanging out in Berlin, contributing to the Nazi cause by recruiting muslims in the balkans and helping with the "final solution". The Grand Mufti was convicted at the Nuremberg trials, but fled to Egypt, where he found sanctuary under Nasser.
Posted by: progressoverpeace

You heard Michael Savage on the Fascist Arabs slaying all Jews on behalf of Nazi German alliance? /afterwards, blame Hitler to justify their own blood lust.

Posted by: maverick muse at August 18, 2010 04:29 AM (H+LJc)

258 So, will women be allowed in the swimming pool or on the basketball court?

Here's the audio of Pelosi asking for an investigation into the opposition to the mosque. As usual, she rambles her way into it.

http://tinyurl.com/2dz4aoj

Posted by: Tami at August 18, 2010 04:32 AM (VuLos)

259

Here's the audio of Pelosi asking for an investigation into the opposition to the mosque

Harry Reid???

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 04:33 AM (AnTyA)

260 >>I have been told, by a former Yugoslav now a US citizen, that when the Ottoman Empire expanded over their land several centuries ago, many mosques were built on the exact sites of former churches and temples. >>In his opinion, this was sort of a victory celebration and a confirmation of their desire to convert the world to Islam. >>Can anyone verify this? Yes, that is exactly true. As I said in an earlier thread, the al-Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem is built on top of the Temple Mount site, the holiest place in Judaism. This is what they do, the ground zero site was no accident and its why they are fighting so hard to keep it. And if they get it they will never give it up, it will always be a rallying cry for the most lunatic fringes of Islam. Very funny as usual, Ace, but its really sad that Keef doesn't see the irony of the quote he based his drivel on in the current situation. The quote is very relevant but he has the parties completely reversed. We are not the ones coming for different groups, the Muslims are. They've been killing Jews for centuries and we did squat. Now they've moved on to gays, women who get out of line by going to school or not covering their ankles and various other infidel groups who pissed them off and we did dick. It wasn't until 9/11 when they came for us that the vast majority of this country finally woke up and started to fight back. Now Happy Keef wants us to give up. Well blow me fat boy. Just because you've gone full retard don't expect me to.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 18, 2010 04:33 AM (VW9/y)

261 229 FUBAR

How does the cost of living factor in with earning "more" stateside than at home?

For Lopez, [as an illegal alien who left her 8 year old son behind for someone else to raise] life in the U.S. so far has met the expectations she's built up since she was a young girl in El Salvador. In one week of cleaning offices, she earns double or triple what she made in a month as a grocery store cashier back home. And she's working much shorter days now, as she prepares to bring her son and father to the U.S.

Posted by: maverick muse at August 18, 2010 04:36 AM (H+LJc)

262

First they came for Keith Olberman. But I said nothing for I was not a bombastic douchebag. Then, well, they didn't come for anyone else. Just Keith. And no one really gave a shit. In fact, we went to lead happy, fulfilling lives. Lives without Keith Olberman. To be honest, life after that day was fuckin' awesome!

Posted by: JDW at August 18, 2010 04:37 AM (pgFlh)

263 Ace, Genius! In my opinion, the best thing you've written in a long time.

Posted by: golden boy at August 18, 2010 04:37 AM (tCImz)

264

Re: sven10077's #234/#235

BTW, FYI, whereas to some degree, our FBI are authorities on domestic terrorism, the world's best authorities on worldwide terrorism are the USA's CIA, France's DGSE and Great Britain's SIS, all of whom are pretty much on the same page on the issues which I raised here. In other words, your reference to the FBI was, well, goofy.

A perhaps somewhat interesting footnote to which is that, in their criticisms of France, many people fail to realize that their DGSE is perhaps the world's best gatherer, interpreter and disseminater of extremely accurate intelligence on the world's terrorist organizations. But then, they've been at it much longer than the agencies of other countries have been.

Now, y'all have a nice day, ya hear.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 04:39 AM (sYrWB)

265

And then they came for Keith Olberman

...and nobody gave a shit.

Posted by: bigred at August 18, 2010 04:39 AM (cX9pO)

266

Really? I can see more than a few. Both Al Qaeda and the National SOCIALIST German Workers Party (known better to many by the abbreviation Nazi) had quite a few parallels that I can see.

First of course is that the blame and then demonize a group of people for everything that is wrong in their own lives and actively seek to exterminate them. For the National SOCIALIST German workers Party it was the Jews. For Al Qaeda it's all of us in Western Civilization. But there end goal is pretty much one in the same, they want to exterminate us all.

Second you have the whole "master race" thing, the National SOCIALIST German Workers Party believed that only those of true blood really deserved to be in charge, and that it was their duty to weed out and eventually eliminate anyone not of the true blood.

For Al Qaeda this is extremely similar, only for them it's faith, not blood on which they base their myopic vision of world domination. If you do not believe *exactly* what they believe, you are not of the true faith and as such you must be weeded out and eliminated.

You might also wish to note that in both cases, Al Qaeda and the National SOCIALIST German Workers party Jews are at the top of their hit list. Anti Semitism is rampant in both world views.

Both movements have no qualms about murdering innocents in the name of their world view. And of course both simply grow stronger and more violent when you appease them rather than opposing them.

Yes, I can see a lot of parallels here. Rather surprised that you don't.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 04:41 AM (e8T35)

267 276,

try try try again....

AQ has crossed trhough the looking glass and is both a foreign and domestic opfor....

by the way I wonder when somebody will ask Queef and friends whether the Magic 19 of 9/11 would have availed themselves of the culinary school and basketball court like they did down in DC?

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 04:43 AM (kq1lG)

268

And then they came for Keith Olberman

...and nobody gave a shit.

can't we put him at the head of the line?

Posted by: beedubya at August 18, 2010 04:43 AM (AnTyA)

269 It wasn't until 9/11 when they came for us that the vast majority of this country finally woke up and started to fight back.--JackStraw

Yes. But the question remains. How long does memory suffice stateside? "We Will Never Forget" united NYC banners after 9/11/01 but what of now?

It is clear that the Left mandates, legislates, and rules the majority of this country into servitude.

And unless all the vast majority of this country vote OUT the authoritarians in both parties, and vote IN their own constitutional conservatives, we'll just get more of the Republican neoconservative version of governmental authoritarianism.

Obama's Muslim Blunderhood better serve the public notice. Now or never, put up or shut up.

And God Damn Eric Schmidt.

Posted by: Memory at August 18, 2010 04:45 AM (H+LJc)

270 What's the quote that you hear from Rush occasionally?

"There are two types of people - those who wish to be governed, and those who wish to be ruled".

I paraphrase, but Keef and his fellow liberal travelers clearly fall into the later group. This is why a worldwide caliphate is so darned attractive to these douchenozzels on the left. They have absolutely no fear of being ruled. I think it's a genetic predisposition.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at August 18, 2010 04:45 AM (554T5)

271 256 sven10077 i'd like to see it be.......hmmm i'll have to think about it.....as long as the left is crying every nov. i'll be satisfied.....

Posted by: phoenixgirl at August 18, 2010 04:47 AM (eOXTH)

272

Best. Post. Ever.

You were in seriously rare form last night Ace hahaha

Posted by: Aero at August 18, 2010 04:48 AM (uHiz2)

273 Heh. Local morning radio show (NC) played the audio from that "Mama Grizzlies who don't like Palin" video.
They couldn't stop laughing over it, and now they're using the "roars" to segue to breaks. Hilarious.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 18, 2010 04:49 AM (Dxrgc)

274 Ace will probably require the entire day to sleep off this Valu-Rite-fueled (but brilliant) rant on the current state of Olberdouchery.

Posted by: Soap MacTavish at August 18, 2010 04:51 AM (554T5)

275 Fucking fantastic.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at August 18, 2010 04:51 AM (xKP7n)

276

I suggest a remake

Flowers for Olbermann

Posted by: Ben at August 18, 2010 04:54 AM (wuv1c)

277

In reference to a comment way up thread.

If all that Native Americans contributed to the world was popcorn, maple syrup, and beef jerky, that alone would put them light years ahead of anything the Arab world has produced since the coming of Islam.

Posted by: bigred at August 18, 2010 04:54 AM (cX9pO)

278 That was beautiful Ace.

Posted by: carin at August 18, 2010 04:55 AM (cyCB9)

279 I giggled like a mental patient while rading this. That's probably what it feels like to be one of Keef's faithful viewers.

Posted by: snakeoil at August 18, 2010 04:55 AM (ErUlJ)

280 rading = reading. Laughing makes it hard to type.

Posted by: snakeoil at August 18, 2010 04:56 AM (ErUlJ)

281

"AQ has crossed trhough the looking glass and is both a foreign and domestic opfor...."

Well, duh! You can't be that dense. NOBODY is that dense!!!

This is too funny. Perhaps you need another cup of coffee to clear the cobwebs out of your brain. Yeah, that's it.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 04:57 AM (sYrWB)

282 270

Unbelievable. How does Speaker Poisonface intend to "investigate the funding" of 65% of Americans?
Insane and rambling is no way to spend your Depends years, Nancy, please go away.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 18, 2010 04:59 AM (Dxrgc)

283 Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 08:39 AM (sYrWB)

Dude, go to bed. Give it a rest. PoP and Sven been putting out knowledge. You just be tossin' out ad hominims. Mind like a steel trap. Crikey.

Posted by: Derak at August 18, 2010 05:00 AM (SK1yp)

284

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 08:41 AM (e8T35)

I don't disagree with you. But you're talking apples, and I'm talking oranges.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:00 AM (sYrWB)

285 293,

I'm not the one dismissing FBI's testimony to congress fella....

I get that you've got your fwench love on and I wish we were legally allowed to do the inside/outside activity of Froggonian intell work but we'll make do.

Posted by: sven10077 at August 18, 2010 05:01 AM (kq1lG)

286

Posted by: Derak at August 18, 2010 09:00 AM (SK1yp)

ad hominem what, Derak? You dumb shit. You don't even know the proper use of the term.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:03 AM (sYrWB)

287

He better get all his licks in soon.

When does Comcast close the deal with MSNBC.

I was under the impression that the owner of comcast was best friends with an Objectivist. You can always judge someone by who they choose to keep company with. I would think it would be acceptable to infer that the head of Comcast is interested in profit and not political ideology, therefore he won't keep on the current money losing MSNBC staff for ideological reasons like the current management does.

Posted by: Ben at August 18, 2010 05:04 AM (wuv1c)

288

I don't disagree with you. But you're talking apples, and I'm talking oranges.

You stated there was no correlation between the Nazi's and Al Queda. I think I most effectively proved this statement to be quite false by drawing several obvious and easily provable parallels between the two.

By all means, please elaborate on how this is "apples and oranges".

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 05:05 AM (e8T35)

289 Seriously, I'm in awe of the Democrats. The number one priority for all of them was to put the "mosque issue" behind them And now Nancy just gave birth to a whole new round of questions regarding those who oppose it. She's gonna find out who, and it's gonna be everybody but CodePink and MoveOn. Thank God for stupid enemies.

Posted by: Lincolntf at August 18, 2010 05:05 AM (Dxrgc)

290 298 Case closed. I think the new school year starts next week. Don't forget your backpack and new crayons.

Posted by: Derak at August 18, 2010 05:05 AM (SK1yp)

291 this is why I read this blog, epic takedowns of retarded fat guys who exhale strongly through their nostrils.

Posted by: .Unclefacts, AoSHQ Pro Debate Squad, And Summoner Of Meteors. at August 18, 2010 05:05 AM (eCAn3)

292

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 09:03 AM (sYrWB)

This troll has been playing these games for the past week.

Posted by: Blue Hen at August 18, 2010 05:10 AM (R2fpr)

293 Oh man. I have to stop reading AoSHQ at work, because people are going to start wondering why I spend half the morning snorting with laughter.

Posted by: MWR at August 18, 2010 05:10 AM (4df7R)

294 Olbermann? Wasn't he the SS officer in charge of laundering Hitler's sheepskin condom?

Posted by: Reiver at August 18, 2010 05:10 AM (64S5N)

295 Yeah, sven, that was a rational reply.

Jeezez, LMAOH.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:10 AM (sYrWB)

296 Unclefacts, don't forget popcorn, cheap booze , and boobies. One must keep priorities in line.

Posted by: bigred at August 18, 2010 05:11 AM (cX9pO)

297 Re: 299 ooops. I meant 295. Sorry 298. Yep. guess that just proves it's too early for some and too late for others. Sheesh.

Posted by: Derak at August 18, 2010 05:11 AM (xvmKO)

298 I'm offended, blue hen. I've been playing with you dimwits for the past year.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:12 AM (sYrWB)

299

I'm offended, blue hen. I've been playing with you dimwits for the past year

Rotfl.. my, we are full of ourselves aren't we? My goodness, it takes such a vast intellectual superiority to make idiotic, unprovable statements, get caught red handed, proven dead wrong and then obfuscate a response claiming it's all "apples and oranges" without posting anything to support your idiotic views.

Yes, were all trembling in our shoes over your self acclaimed intellectual superiority, that's for sure.. lmao

It takes a real super genius to post a bunch of one liners on a blog, back them up with nothing and then change handles dozens of times to try and maintain even the tiniest shred of credibility.

My, your mom must be really really proud of you. Why don't you run upstairs and tell her how you really stuck it to those nasty conservatives today. Maybe she'll make you some pizza bagels before you go back into her basement and get back on the computer she bought for you so you can harrass us some more.

That is assuming your not to busy looking for your berkenstocks so you can rush off to the latest protest. I've often wondered, do you guys even know what your protesting anymore or are you just given a date and time to show up and a note card with some halfwit slogan to start screaming at the top of your lungs when you do?

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 05:21 AM (e8T35)

300

I went to the transcript, and had to retype this bulging prose into poor Microsoft Word, which called it out correctly as a run-on sentence. DidnÂ’t he learn rhetoric, or was it all just animal husbandry for Keefum?

Â“He (Niemoller) was warning of the willingness of a seemingly rational society to condone the gradual stoking of enmity towards an ethnic or religious group warning of the building-up of a collective pool of national fear and hate, warning of the moment in which the need to purge outstrips even the parameters of the original scape-goating, when new victims are needed because a country has begun to run on a horrible fuel of hatred, magnified, amplified, multiplied by politicians and zealots, within government and without.Â”

To be fair to Keefum, this is the perfect depiction of decades of Islamist grudge-bearing, including the bit about jet fuel and goats.

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at August 18, 2010 05:24 AM (3iMgs)

301

Ooh, Ace. The Gerard Butler/Keith Moment of Bonding... I have the perfect setting! They're up on a desert plateau. It's night time, and the stars are out and twinkling in a brilliant cascade of diamond lights. Gerard is bundled up in a blanket drinking tomato soup out of a thermos, trying to get Keith to realize he's a dumbass. Then, idea! He spills some of the tomato soup onto a piece of paper and smushes it together to form a rudimentary rorschach test. He holds it up and asks Keith: "What do you see?"

KEITH: I see... Tomato soup on a piece of paper.
GERARD: Exactly. Because you're an unimaginative idiot.
KEITH: But look like... resemble... butterfly... bird... maple leaf!
GERARD: (wide-eyed with awe) By God... I am shamed for my lack of faith in K is for Keith's inborn humanity and sweetness. My eyes have been opened. I feel a oneness with the universe. Let's celebrate with peanut butter!
KEITH: YAY, I love peanut butter!

Can't you just see it?

Oh... wait... Hang on. I think I might have just wholesale ripped off Short Circuit. Never mind.

Posted by: MWR at August 18, 2010 05:24 AM (4df7R)

302 That is one fine and righteous fisking. Nice job Ace.

Posted by: keggin at August 18, 2010 05:34 AM (XgyZH)

303

The comedy continues past 9:30am! Don't forget to spit the troll out. Might cause you indigestion.

Rotfl.. well, if it were a large and effective troll maybe, but this is more like that beef jerky stuff that is preshredded and in the small can.

There just isn't enough content there to really make any difference. lol..

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 05:35 AM (e8T35)

304

#308 - As someone here was sensible enough to point out to me during one of my previous, um, discussions with you, I was then, and I would be again, wasting my time to argue with someone who is, by his own admission, stuck on stupid.

Now, don't be offended, dimwit. I meant that in the nicest way.

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 05:37 AM (sYrWB)

305

Y'know, I've attended Protestant churches (off and on) for most of my life. Many of them had gymnasiums, meeting rooms available for the public, kitchen facilities and the like. They also contain rooms for Christian worship that could be called "prayer spaces." Does that mean they're now officially classified as "community centers" and thus require scorn to be heaped upon those who criticize them?

Somehow I'm thinking that Keith and his ilk will be less than tolerant of that approach. I wonder why ...

Posted by: AhWell at August 18, 2010 05:42 AM (zeplA)

306 Actually, FIRST, they came for us...

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0810/41204.html

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Tuesday said she supports an investigation into groups opposing the building of a mosque near ground zero in New York.

Pelosi told San FranciscoÂ’s KCBS radio that Â“there is no question there is a concerted effort to make this a political issue by some.Â”

Â“I join those who have called for looking into how is this opposition to the mosque being funded,Â” she said. Â“How is this being ginned up?Â”

Posted by: Kasper Hauser at August 18, 2010 05:42 AM (HqpV0)

307 I thoght this was going to be an Al Franken post.

Olbermann can't hurt you. He gets one vote, cancelled by mine. Nobody watches his show, so my question is "does it actually exist?"

Al Franken can hurt you. He's the un-funny midnight comic.

Posted by: MarkD at August 18, 2010 05:46 AM (YhZfg)

308 I watched the whole thing on Huffpo yesterday--the Huffers were all excited about the piece's brilliance.

I liked how Keef veered back and forth on the pronunciation of Cordoba, mostly using the incorrect one. (It's CORdoba.)

Also, Park 51's own website says the plan for the site includes a mosque, so Keef got that wrong too. But then he still probably thinks Scott Brown is a huge racist.

[nasal exhalation] I'm done. Good morning, and good luck.

Posted by: stace at August 18, 2010 05:47 AM (LYakY)

309 I note that Olbermann refused to call out the Muslim attacks on Jewish community centers that have occurred since 9/11, which the MFM failed to highlight. Unlike the pipe bombing, these were actually "successful."

Posted by: Big Fat Meanie at August 18, 2010 05:49 AM (3iMgs)

310 Hey, asswipe, enough with the fucking stupid smiley. You've already proven yourself to be a cockholster, you don't need to keep underlining it.

Posted by: Damn Skippy at August 18, 2010 05:49 AM (VDgKF)

311 excuse me, nostril exhalation. Which perfectly captures Olbermurrow's pompous affectation.

Posted by: stace at August 18, 2010 05:49 AM (LYakY)

312

Posted by: Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 09:37 AM (sYrWB

Still spewing lies, and still avoiding discussion of claims that you raised. If you think that you have a point to make, send an e-mail to Ace. Otherwise, you're just a troll, nothing more.

Posted by: Blue Hen at August 18, 2010 05:49 AM (R2fpr)

313

"I am reading to you this retarded script I stream-of-conscious brain-queefed out fifteen minutes ago, as promised,"

That's some funny shit, right there.

Posted by: OwenKellogg at August 18, 2010 05:50 AM (rfZbE)

314 Wow.

So what was it that finally pushed Ace over the edge a few weeks ago? He was practically on sabbatical or in seclusion, and now it's all fire-breathing fury, all the time.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It's great stuff. But he has been on an epic roll of righteous rants lately.

I love it!

Posted by: tsj017 at August 18, 2010 05:51 AM (4YUWF)

315

307 wow, you remind me of the characterization Mark Twain gave Natty Bumpo in his critique of Fenimore Cooper's writing (Keef reminds me of Fenimore Cooper's writing in Mark Twain's critique of the same)

It's all so intellectual and stuff; I don't think I can handle it.

Posted by: unknown jane at August 18, 2010 05:51 AM (5/yRG)

316 "So imagine, near the end, he's at the UN, eating peanut butter with his hand out of a jar. I guess this shit has the texture of reality to it."

Ummmmmm. Chunky!

Posted by: RedneknSC at August 18, 2010 05:56 AM (rgWLE)

317

First, I came for regular porn. After a while, I came for S and M. Finally, I came for stuff with midgets and horses in it.

In the end, my mom came to my room with juice, but I was too drowsy to let her in.

Posted by: Kweef at August 18, 2010 06:00 AM (aOKEC)

318 First they came for Dr. Laura. She has first amendment rights too so is everybody who is condemning her a bigot?

Posted by: Wheeler at August 18, 2010 06:00 AM (NlmAy)

319 Wow... I'm just breathless and speechless at your awesomeness Ace... what a spectacular piece of writing... I think I'd head for my bunk right now but I don't have the stamina...

Posted by: GuyfromNH at August 18, 2010 06:00 AM (kbOju)

320 Wow! Ace scores a triple century (Cricket term).

Posted by: Decaf at August 18, 2010 06:02 AM (NooBZ)

321

So what was it that finally pushed Ace over the edge a few weeks ago? He was practically on sabbatical or in seclusion, and now it's all fire-breathing fury, all the time.

Not that I'm complaining, mind you. It's great stuff. But he has been on an epic roll of righteous rants lately.

I love it!

Ace wrote the other day that he is now officially in campaign mode. That might be it.

Posted by: Decaf at August 18, 2010 06:06 AM (NooBZ)

322 a low-budget movie about a demented retard in his mid-fifties who sets up a pretend tv studio in his mother's basement and does a "TV show" every night interviewing puppets and his pet mice Hugo and Hubert

Reminds me of Wayne's World.

To be correct though, Sachsenhausen was not a death camp. It started out as a prison for and got transmogrified into a work camp. My dad spent almost 5 years there--I wonder if he ever met Herr Niemoller?

Posted by: CUS at August 18, 2010 06:07 AM (wOGfT)

323 Justathought,

Don't you think you'd be happier among your own kind?

Posted by: Shirley at August 18, 2010 06:22 AM (f46PC)

324

As someone here was sensible enough to point out to me during one of my previous, um, discussions with you, I was then, and I would be again, wasting my time to argue with someone who is, by his own admission, stuck on stupid.

In other words, you got squat. You can't back up anything you've said, so instead you proclaim victory and try to avoid any factual based discussion because you have no facts to back up your ignorant opinion.

Now, don't be offended, dimwit. I meant that in the nicest way.

Why would I possibly be offended? If you wish to proclaim this as intellectual combat in those terms it's a lot like the Battleship Missouri being attacked by the good ship lollipop. For all your smug, superior bullshit in an intellectual contest you are completely unarmed. All you can do is wave protest signs, regurgitate talking points you get from the daily Kos and run for cover whenever your challenged.

I on the other hand am sitting quite securely behind a 12.1 inch armoured belt and have a battery of nine 16 inch guns loaded with logic, reason and facts that all support my position.

Or to put it in laymen's terms, frankly I've gotten better debates out of 5 year olds. You keep claiming intellectual superiority followed by victory, but honestly every time you do it just makes me laugh.

You claimed there was no correlation between Al Queda, and the National SOCIALIST German Workers party. You've been proven 100% wrong. But rather than admit that, instead you try to pretend it never happened, made some ridiculous assertion that the comparison was invalid with no supporting evidence, and now you resort to this childish behavior to cover the fact that your own world view is obviously based on little more than fantasy and cannot be factually supported.

And supposedly your the victor here? Rotflmao - please. Tell you what sonny, if and when you ever do finally move out of your parents basement and have to work for a living then maybe you'll have some standing to lecture the rest of us on real life.

Until then your nothing but yet another in a long line of moonbat trolls talking out of your ass. Seriously, I've seen better heads on a mug of bear. To put it in a nutshell my little libertard troll, if brains were gas you wouldn't have enough to power an ant's moped around the inside of a cherrio.

So, you have a couple of options here. One, you can change your nickname again and try to pretend this never happened. You could also try the old "ignore the fact that I can't support my position and proclaim victory" tactic, but of course this hasn't been working to well to this point so I would advise that one. Or you might try pulling your head out of your ass and having an honest, fact based discussion. Hard to do when you have no facts, granted, but at least then you might learn something.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 06:22 AM (e8T35)

325

Kasper,

she thinks she is able to round up 68 % of the population? also what the heck would she do with muslims like Zhudi Jasser? what a delemna or delemma, crazy english.

Posted by: willow at August 18, 2010 06:31 AM (SbsTp)

326 "Special K" goes full retard. Gotta go into the Top Top Ten.

Posted by: motionview at August 18, 2010 06:35 AM (zRbkQ)

327 "142

Ok, I know I know, I really shouldn't do this but someone had linked to Charles Johnson's opinion on the mosque and...yep, he's essentially taken the Olbermann position. You're a racist if you oppose the mosque."

There really is a zombie dust - a powder that can be blown in your face and permanently fries your brain - effectively turning you into a mindless zombie. The Voodoo priests in the Caribbean use it.

I have to wonder if some Uber Liberal has a source of a weakened version of that drug? A drug that fries brains just enough that they start spouting Liberal drivel. That would explain how somebody like Johnson could go from being reasonably competent to a permanently insane idiot overnight wouldn't it?

Ace, don't accept any invitations to some Liberal enclave: we don't need you turned into a zombie too.

Posted by: An Observation at August 18, 2010 06:57 AM (ylhEn)

328 Pure mastery, Ace. What the hell were you smoking?

Posted by: Cicero at August 18, 2010 06:58 AM (0pBLV)

329 "I have to wonder if some Uber Liberal has a source of a weakened version of that drug? " No. Zombie dust leaves you capable of doing useful work.

Posted by: richard mcenroe at August 18, 2010 06:59 AM (o5f7j)

330 KO might be right about a New Holocaust coming. The level of antisemitism coming from the left these days feels like 1935 all over again.

Posted by: John Galt at August 18, 2010 06:59 AM (F/4zf)

331 I liked how Keef veered back and forth on the pronunciation of Cordoba, mostly using the incorrect one. (It's CORdoba.)

No, my friend. It is CorDOHba, and it's everything that I require in a fine luxury automobile.

Posted by: Zombie Ricardo Montalban at August 18, 2010 07:01 AM (0pBLV)

332 There has to be a scene at the end of the 2nd act where Special K hits rock bottom, and then something sparks a re-determination to "stand up". Maybe GWB can come driving by in a Hummer and knock K off his bike (Obama Urkel helmet, fringes on the handle bars, training wheels), smashing his jar of peanut butter. After snorting and crying and cursing the ~~Nazis~~ conservatives, a little girl comes by and offers him some chocolate. In his blubbering stupor, K drops the chocolate in the peanut butter. Deep, deep insight on how Islam and the West can be better together. It practically writes itself from there.

Posted by: motionview at August 18, 2010 07:02 AM (zRbkQ)

333

As former Turkish Prime Minister Erbakan said: Â“The whole of Europe will become Islamic. We will conquer RomeÂ”.

I suppose that's one way of getting into the European Union.

Posted by: Decaf at August 18, 2010 07:14 AM (NooBZ)

334 Ace, you should have a special screening of "K is for Keith" at Gutfeld's bar.

Posted by: elliot m at August 18, 2010 07:16 AM (pDWjd)

335

281

Best. Post. Ever.

You were in seriously rare form last night Ace hahaha

When the Valu-Rite flows...the lucid thought shows.

Posted by: Thomas Ellers at August 18, 2010 07:20 AM (j5CHE)

336

I'm guessing Ace's friends are hiding his meds again? Because this pose was argin' bargin' hilarious. I gigggle like a school girl and drummed my feet on the floor.

Oh, and that bit about how maybe the lesson we should learn from the Indians is that if anyone tries to pilgrim us, we are burning their ship on the shoreline? Yeah, that's funny, but its insight too.

Posted by: Emperor of Icecream at August 18, 2010 07:25 AM (epBek)

337 Hi Ace. Nice! Olberman is such a dick. You tore his ass up, man. I hope he fucking reads this. Thanks! (I got halfway through your piece and needed to say something, you know, to improve on it...)

Posted by: ed davis at August 18, 2010 07:27 AM (nBE5A)

338

Still spewing lies, and still avoiding discussion of claims that you raised. If you think that you have a point to make, send an e-mail to Ace. Otherwise, you're just a troll, nothing more.

Posted by: Blue Hen at August 18, 2010 09:49 AM (R2fpr)

Lies? Lies?? Lies??? What lies? Name one? _{(Pssst, can't wait for her answer, folks.)}

Just a troll? Just a troll?? Just a troll??? Whoa, now you're hurt my feelings.

Get a grip ..., see a psychiatrist ..., and while you're at it, get a life. Sheesh.

BTW, what was your point? _{(See if you can make one without making a fool of yourself again.)}

Posted by: A. Troll at August 18, 2010 07:28 AM (sYrWB)

339 No, I don't agree. He is not funny.

People with severe impairments are never funny.

Closest to funy here is the people that think he and Andi and Chuckles are funny, but here I mean "funny" in the "peculiar" sense.

Posted by: Larry Sheldon at August 18, 2010 07:35 AM (mMcLI)

340 If you have a point to make, send an e-mail to Ace. Until you do, you're another troll.

Posted by: Blue Hen at August 18, 2010 07:40 AM (R2fpr)

341 KKK is for Kornell Kow Kollege
A moooving tail about a young man pretending to be attending an Ivy League college when he's just preparing for a chance to end up with -$400 on Celebrity Jeopardy. Features a special guest appearance by Wolf Blitzer.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 18, 2010 07:42 AM (xmEXV)

342 And damned proud of it, too.

Posted by: A. Troll at August 18, 2010 07:43 AM (sYrWB)

343 What, no mention of the great Alfred Dreyfus?
What does Batman's butler have to do with this, CON!!!?

Posted by: keith olbermann at August 18, 2010 07:45 AM (xmEXV)

344 That's your point, huh? And here I was expecting something, well, profound.

Posted by: A. (somewhat disappointed, but not surprised) Troll at August 18, 2010 07:48 AM (sYrWB)

345

If you have a point to make, send an e-mail to Ace. Until you do, you're another troll.

Sadly Blue Hen their just isn't much point trying to talk to someone with the emotional maturity of a spoiled 2 year old. He'll ignore pretty much everything, then turn around and post some smug little comment about how superior he is - right before he starts playing in the mud again of course.

If he had anything to actually add to the conversation he would have done so long before now. As it is about all your going to get from this cretin will pretty much amount to "I know you are but what am I?".

Then he'll do his little superior dance and start over from scratch, because, sadly, this is what passes for an intellectual among the left wing moonbats.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 07:49 AM (e8T35)

346 #357 - I win. You lose. Too bad.

Posted by: A. (somewhat disappointed, but not surprised) Troll at August 18, 2010 07:51 AM (sYrWB)

347

Rotflmao... guess you went for the change ID options then. Wow.. didn't see that coming at all did we - by goodness you really put one over on us there.

Just a thought, or two at August 18, 2010 09:37 AM (sYrWB)

A. Troll at August 18, 2010 11:43 AM (sYrWB)

Why look, same hash! Gosh, really had us fooled completely. Please, by all means, jump up and down and clap your little hands at your superior cleverness.

Then when your done go take out the garbage and clean the kitchen for your mother. If she's going to be stuck supporting you for the rest of time at least you can make yourself useful around the house.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 07:54 AM (e8T35)

348 So Americans want to stop the people who want to start another Holocaust from building a mosque to expand their hate right next to a point where they want to claim victory for killing Americans and the American people are the ones in danger of starting another Holocaust. Coulter or someone really needs to point this out and kick Olby around on the air again for the great stupidity in his statement. We are the ones at risk of starting another Holocaust not the religion that wants Israel wiped off the map. This is a new low even for you Olby.

Posted by: Just Another Poster at August 18, 2010 07:54 AM (HAdov)

349 Sometimes I think Keith Olbermann is to liberal pundits what Foster Brooks is to alcoholics.

Posted by: Crusty at August 18, 2010 07:58 AM (GvSpB)

350 If I make you feel insecure, inferior, inadequate and stupid, maybe it's because you are insecure, inferior, inadequate and stupid, ya think?

Posted by: To quote Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon" at August 18, 2010 07:59 AM (sYrWB)

351 Dan Rather, I guess this shit has the texture of reality to it," despite the fact that Dan Rather's in "news broadcasting business" as much as I fuckin' am.

Rather is sitting at the desk, listening to the audio. His eyes suddenly widen, he sits erect. In a moment, in a whisper, Dan says "I know that voice ... I've heard it before ... jumpin' prairie dogs! K is for Kenneth! K is for Keith!"

Posted by: mrp at August 18, 2010 08:00 AM (HjPtV)

352 And if my post made any of you youngins look up the wiki on Foster Brooks then I've done my good deed for the day.

Posted by: Crusty at August 18, 2010 08:00 AM (GvSpB)

353

Posted by: To quote Bugs Bunny (revised and extended), he he he he he at August 18, 2010 08:04 AM (sYrWB)

354 Just like a Nazi youth , I'd turn in everyone of the union thugs hiding under Kieth's deck.

Posted by: Buffalobob at August 18, 2010 08:06 AM (CaUQM)

355 83 Peanut butter, bad idea. Do you know how many people are allergic to peanuts? I'm talking anaphylactic, epi pen allergic. That is the reason you no longer get little packages of peanuts on airplanes any more.

I blame George Washington Carver.

Posted by: frankly at August 18, 2010 08:23 AM (xIqdI)

356 First Al Qaeda came to kill U.S. soldiers in Yemen in '92- and Liberals did nothing.

Then they came to bomb the WTC in '93- and Liberals did nothing.

Then they bombed the U.S. embassy in East Africa in '98- and the Liberals did nothing.

Then they bombed the U.S.S. Cole in 2000- and the Liberals did nothing.

Then they killed 3000 innocent citizens on American soil- and the Liberals blamed America.

Then they came to erect a victory mosque on the hallowed burial ground of our innocent dead- and the Liberals lecture us about our intolerance towards murderous Jihadist intolerance.

When can we expect Obama to return to Germany and give his full support for a Nazi cultural center to be erected on the hallowed grounds of Auschwitz in the name of tolerance- of course?

Posted by: Modern Day Murrow at August 18, 2010 08:33 AM (yRJfW)

357 Well played, Sir.

Posted by: garrett at August 18, 2010 08:41 AM (MPnd6)

358

_{I blame George Washington Carver.}

I blame weak genes.

Posted by: Watson or Crick at August 18, 2010 08:43 AM (MPnd6)

359 sYrWB

Please, will someone ban this greasestain. He's both less coherent and less amusing than the Replica Watch guy.

Posted by: VJay at August 18, 2010 09:02 AM (gQ+XA)

360

Posted by: VJay at August 18, 2010 01:02 PM (gQ+XA) < Yeah, that was effective.

Posted by: To quote Bugs Bunny, ^"What a maroon. he he he he he"^ at August 18, 2010 09:33 AM (sYrWB)

361 ^{Reminds me of Wayne's World.

To
be correct though, Sachsenhausen was not a death camp. It started out
as a prison for and got transmogrified into a work camp. My dad spent
almost 5 years there--I wonder if he ever met Herr Niemoller?

Posted by: CUS}

I guess that makes the new troll one of the 2 chimps on a davenport in their parents' basement.

Posted by: MrCaniac at August 18, 2010 09:50 AM (Vol3D)

362 Even with history as a guide to put the pieces of the Nazi horror puzzle together, it is hard to see how it happened. That "then they came for me" thing is pretty damned scary. Especially with people like Olbermann using their weight to generalize an entire group of people (conservatives) as American society's enemy while purporting to be sounding the warning alarm for us to beware of blind hatred for any single group of people. Hello, Earth to Olbermann? As far as how it happened, I simply say Satan did it. And Satan is working a real number on Keith. Which step do you figure that is, Keith? Say, out of the thousand your research has determined that it takes. Let's forget about all of the other pieces of the geopolitical Rubik's cube of a puzzle. Let's focus on the "just words" you carelessy vomit over the airwaves every day. What role are you playing today, Sir. Further, what role will you have played? Funny how you are slyly telling someone to come for me because you say that I am dangerous, or less than, or inferior, or whatthefuckever it is you are saying is wrong with me.

Posted by: Satan smiling spreads his wings at August 18, 2010 10:06 AM (nBE5A)

363

If I make you feel insecure, inferior, inadequate and stupid, maybe it's because you are insecure, inferior, inadequate and stupid, ya think?

Well, first of course we find you proceeding from a false assumption. You don't make me feel insecure, inadequate or stupid.

In point of fact you make me laugh. It's hard to believe that anyone so tremendously self-absorbed as yourself actually exists. It's also rather amusing that you seem to take such delight in your own sophmoric antics, that somehow your childish behavior seems, at least in your own eyes, a cause for such celebration.

I guess it's amusing to many of us to watch you twirl about, slinging meaningless one liners and make so many assertions you can't back up in the slightest and whenever your assumptions are challenged instead of backing up your nonsense, you know, like a man, instead you proclaim victory and then run off on another tangent.

I'm not sure if you really honestly think we don't notice or what the deal is there, rather like a dog that thinks by turning around and sticking it's nose in a corner since it can't see you, then you can't see it either.

It's comical really, probably not as comical as all the times you've puffed out your little chest and congratulated yourself on victory after victory when in truth the only "points" you've scored at all are firmly in the "making yourself look like a jackass" category. But still, pretty funny overall.

Posted by: StuckOnStupid at August 18, 2010 10:23 AM (e8T35)

364

Great work ace. I have a question though.

Can a magical retard be both magical while at the same time befouling himself?

Because I don't see how Keef can keep that fat ass of his from dropping loads by itself. And Keef's too retarded to really notice or care, right?

Posted by: hobgoblin at August 18, 2010 10:23 AM (jcrhz)

365

83 Peanut butter, bad idea. Do you know how many people are allergic to peanuts? I'm talking anaphylactic, epi pen allergic. That is the reason you no longer get little packages of peanuts on airplanes any more.

I've been getting peanuts for the last three years of flying.

Posted by: hobgoblin at August 18, 2010 10:25 AM (jcrhz)

366 Brilliant. I hope Keith gets to read this, because it would make him cry, and Keith Olberman crying is way better than pizza, even.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at August 18, 2010 10:25 AM (eNxMU)

367
If Ace does get the Worst Person In The Whole World, we should all paypal him $10.

Posted by: IreneFingIrene at August 18, 2010 10:32 AM (JNqU9)

368
And then they came for Charlie Rangel, but I didn't say anything. Because I knew he would use the race card to call all his bruvahs and sistahs to action and get out of it.

And then they came for Ted Stevens, but I didn't say anything. Because they just brought false charges against him so that he could lose an election and be replaced by a Democrat.

And then they came for Tom Delay, but I didn't say anything. Because it was necessary to push that Culture of Corruption meme to help the Dems in 2006.

And then they came for...etc...

Posted by: hughie at August 18, 2010 10:36 AM (v6JKx)

369 In quoting him, I make no direct comparison between the attempts to suppress the building of a Muslim religious center in downtown Manhattan and the unimaginable nightmare of the Holocaust.

Such a comparison is ludicrous...

... at least, it is now.

V is For VendettaVagina, bitches!

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 18, 2010 10:39 AM (mHQ7T)

370 It's also rather amusing that you seem to take such delight in your own sophmoric antics, that somehow your childish behavior seems, at least in your own eyes, a cause for such celebration.

Rather like watching a maniac stick their dick in a fan as they laugh and shout that they rule the world. "Amusing" might not be the right word, but it's close.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 18, 2010 10:42 AM (mHQ7T)

371 Loved that 14 line, 200 word, run on sentence redefining, Henry David Thoreau aping, ten conjunction utlizing masterpiece towards the end, Ace. I haven't seen the like since the opening paragraph of Walden

Posted by: Call me Lennie at August 18, 2010 10:43 AM (GOsSG)

372 "Even with history as a guide to put the pieces of the Nazi horror puzzle together, it is hard to see how it happened."

I bet a big contributing factor was that when Nazis said they wanted to "wipe Jews off the map" and "drive them into the sea," some corrupt idiot traitors like the Democrats and some appeasing Jews thought, "They couldn't really mean that," and let them amass power and bully opponents and then start the fascist shit we're seeing now like publishing someone's address or personal information and sicking brownshirts on them. I bet Nazis demonized their opponents and believed infallibly in their cultural superiority. Grabbing guns and recruiting a civilian national defense force probably helped. The Nazis also had a state run media. Queef hasn't even gotten his bailout money... yet.

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 18, 2010 10:50 AM (mHQ7T)

373 One problem with this movie. You should never go full-retard.

Posted by: Monkeytoe at August 18, 2010 10:54 AM (sOx93)

374 Cordoba is still in play at Park51. There is also a website for the Cordoba Initiative: http://www.cordobainitiative.org

Posted by: Timon at August 18, 2010 10:56 AM (+v3td)

375 Good, we're hoping Obama's approval rating hits 39% by the end of the week. As for the mosque, they don't have the funding or want to discuss where it's coming from. The only people supporting it travel in the same circles (U of C, Harvard, DC, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, etc.)

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 18, 2010 11:07 AM (mHQ7T)

376 Except Kow Kollege Keefums

Posted by: Tattoo De Plane at August 18, 2010 11:08 AM (mHQ7T)

377 Ace, you're drunk. So am I. That was some funny shit. Keep it up.

Posted by: David Gillies at August 18, 2010 11:09 AM (Po0Mg)

378 They had this Continent to themselves for 15,000 years and all they could come up with was popcorn and maple syrup.

Excuse me!

Posted by: kathysaysso would walk a mile for a Camel at August 18, 2010 11:14 AM (ZtwUX)

379

I'm telling ya that ones gold Ace. Gold. You really nailed it linking Keef to the retard movie trailer. I also like the line about how Keith can help make Charles Dickens more clear for us.

Posted by: exceller at August 18, 2010 11:28 AM (jx2Td)

380

Resplendent.

Posted by: reason at August 18, 2010 11:46 AM (V40IZ)

381

Poor Keef. Teabaggers to the left, wingnuts to the right, racists in the back and Islamaphobes to the front. I guess if I felt like that I'd spend most nights playing with my baseball card collection in the bathtub too.

D'oh! Don't get the Derek Jeter rookie card wet for cyring out loud! Dude, you've got the wrong media to polish your sword with.....wait a minute, he's still got the Jeter card. Oh. My. God. He's kissing the Jeter card. Formally a mint card, now a slut card. For shame, Keef. For shame.

Posted by: East Bay Jay at August 18, 2010 11:57 AM (ocHBO)

382 I know this is a dead thread, but I have to purge myself of this rant...

First they came from the Nazis, but I wasn't a Nazi...well... I was kind of a nazi and I liked Hitler and what he did to the Joos and I do own an arabic-language copy of "Mein Kampf" that I bought in Palestine... but I didn't say anything when they came for the Nazis because I didn't want to invite unfavorable comparisons.

Then they came for some guys who had murdered a gay guy for being gay, and I didn't say anything because, you know, I'm from Iran and I was down with it for the most part.

Then they came for...fuck it, let's cut to the chase.

Then they came for me and nobody spoke up for me because I had spent most of my life yelling "Death to (fill in the blank)" to the point that most people just figured I had it coming and sniggled at the fact that I was hoist on my own petard and so they righteously didn't give a shit.

Posted by: Imam Assrama at August 18, 2010 12:13 PM (8/KZN)

383 You know, I hate to argue with the claims of this being comedy gold and all, but I think it would've been funnier Kaptain K would have blown snot down his face on one of the dilated nasal exhalations. You know, just to add a little class.

Posted by: TheGhostWhoWalks at August 18, 2010 01:04 PM (OrDRZ)

384 It wouldn't be Gerard Butler - it would be Sean Penn.

Posted by: Robin at August 18, 2010 01:23 PM (VY112)

385 It's an honor to see my creation, the OlbyRobot (TextAloud with AT&T Natural Voices' Mike voice, converted to stereo and normalized in Adobe Audition), referenced in this post. Thank you very much, Ace, and I mean that; no sarcasm. The OlbyRobot is much better than the real Olby's histrionics, but for me, it can be just as frustrating.

Posted by: Mike C. at August 18, 2010 02:08 PM (ujeEg)

386

Awesome, Ace. Excellent job! My favorite line?

Okay, I have to skip ahead. Jesus this is a windy motherfucker and I thought I was a windy motherfucker.

Bwahahahaha!!!!!

Posted by: Gray Wolf at August 18, 2010 02:17 PM (WgKkU)

387 Funny as hell Ace...
...and Steve should get a picture in wiki-pedia under Retard-Strength.

Posted by: MoJoTee at August 18, 2010 04:48 PM (uGBn8)

388 When do tickets go on sale?

Posted by: 5th Level Fighter at August 18, 2010 07:38 PM (SgL5z)

389 I somehow get the impression you don't like Keith Olbermann very much.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 18, 2010 09:39 PM (iY683)

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