Ace of Spades HQ

May 24, 2010

Cool Facts About Will Folks
— Ace

Will Folks doesn't rise with the dawn. The dawn rises with Will Folks.

Popcorn is sold in four sizes: Small, Medium, Jumbo, and Will Folks' Dick.

Last night Will Folks shot an elephant in his pajamas. What it was doing with in his pajamas he won't say! Oh, right, yes he will: The elephant was blowing him. Blowing him, would be the correct answer.

Will Folks invented half of the spells in Dungeons & Dragons, including the hitherto-secret 9th level spell, I'm Nailing Your Sister Upstairs While You Faggits Are Playing D&D.

Will Folks' car has a bumper sticker reading My Other Car Is Nikki Haley's Car and By "Car" I Mean Vagina. But Ask Me No More.

Will Folks is a ninja, and by a ninja, I mean 1) he's a mammal 2) his purpose is to flip out and kill people and 3) he shoots straight because the people of South Carolina are entitled to a heroic protector with a shotgun for a dick.

Will Folks' right hand has tattoos spelling out "Love" and his left hand has tattoos spelling out "Amor," because he kills motherfuckers in Spanish, too.

Will Folks once date-raped Satan.

(Oh, that second joke is a Drew Carey one.)

Posted by: Ace at 04:55 PM | Comments (326)
Post contains 215 words, total size 1 kb.

1 It's fun when the meds kick in, ain't it?

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 04:57 PM (W+GYq)

2 And I made him give me a blumpkin.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 04:57 PM (1fanL)

3 Will Folks calls his dick a "Damocles Sword".

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2010 04:59 PM (YLS+B)

4 Chuck Norris wears Will Folks PJs.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 04:59 PM (c0A3e)

5 I'll have what Ace is having.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:00 PM (UOM48)

6 I'll have what Ace is having.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 09:00 PM (UOM4

He's having my cacknballs, sweetie.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:00 PM (1fanL)

7 I was laughing like crazy reading that post. Should I be embarrassed?

Posted by: progressoverpeace at May 24, 2010 05:01 PM (Qp4DT)

8 Fred Baron.

That's all I'm gonna say.

Posted by: SlaveDog at May 24, 2010 05:01 PM (W+E+o)

9 The Most Interesting Man in the World calls Will Folks for dating advice.Also the "Stay thirsty my friend" line,yeah he got that from Will.....

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2010 05:02 PM (YLS+B)

10 deleted... nope!

Posted by: seattle slough at May 24, 2010 05:02 PM (JRGA6)

The world will never know just how big Will Folks is. Whenever he gets a boner, all the blood rushes from his head and he passes out.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:02 PM (kmEfr)

12 Uh oh, someone gave the Ewok a 4 hour pass from the looney bin.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:02 PM (gofDd)

13 James Bond just wrote me to say, "man, does that Will Folks crush pussy."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:02 PM (66DVY)

(Oh, that second joke is a Drew Carey one.)

Posted by: Ace at 08:55 PM

Dammit, Ace! Did I teach you nothing? Steal from the best, and NEVER give 'em credit!

Posted by: Zombie Milton Berle at May 24, 2010 05:03 PM (W+GYq)

15 Will Folks once date-raped Satan.

That son-of-a-bitch! Satan is my bitch now, you hear, Will! Mine!

Posted by: Saddam Hussein at May 24, 2010 05:03 PM (c0A3e)

16 ace is in love again.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:03 PM (hVdJG)

17 Uh oh.

Question: Will Folks vs. Lord Cheney. Who wins?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:03 PM (UOM48)

18 Will Folks trains future CIA operatives on secrecy.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:04 PM (KM7Go)

19 so who the fuck is will folks?

Posted by: Vaginal Fart at May 24, 2010 05:04 PM (eotQM)

20 Jame Gumb just wrote me to say "Will Folks is a badass."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:04 PM (66DVY)

21 Will Folks can look Dick Cheney in the eye without crying like a girl.

Posted by: Dax at May 24, 2010 05:05 PM (UwqBE)

22 Will Folks puts the ladies some f'n knowledge -- hold the knowledge.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:05 PM (W+GYq)

23 Will Folks took Jim Kirk's lunch money.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:05 PM (hVdJG)

24 Satan's mine, bitches! And so's my new "special" friend Jack Murtha.

Posted by: Teddy Kennedy at May 24, 2010 05:06 PM (UOM48)

25 Will Folks makes Richard Blumenthals fantasies seem tame.

Posted by: robtr at May 24, 2010 05:06 PM (fwSHf)

26 Will Folks was the inspiration for AC/DC's "Let Me Put My Love In You."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:06 PM (66DVY)

27 13 Will Foolks was 001.Bitches.

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2010 05:06 PM (YLS+B)

28 #17 Question: Will Folks vs. Lord Cheney. Who wins?

The battle was epic, actually splitting open the world in several places, but Darth Cheney finally prevailed by crushing Folks' head with the mighty warcock.

Mrs. Cheney was certainly pleased that night.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:06 PM (c0A3e)

29 The last thing Michael Hutchence and David Carridine saw before they died was Will Folks' erection.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:07 PM (66DVY)

30 When Will Folks takes a switch-blade in the face, he takes ALL of it.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:07 PM (W+GYq)

31 Love Story was about Will Folks and he invented the internet.

Posted by: Al Gore at May 24, 2010 05:07 PM (EaU28)

32 Will Folks likes to give Superman wedgies in front of Lois Lane.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:07 PM (hVdJG)

33 Will Folks other name for his cock is "The Blade of Olympus".

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2010 05:08 PM (YLS+B)

34 Meh.

Posted by: Nikki Haley at May 24, 2010 05:08 PM (UwqBE)

35 Helen Thomas curls into the fetal position in the presence of Will Folks. And begs him to kick her in her naughty bits.

*just made myself throw up in my mouth*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:08 PM (UOM48)

36 I think Will Folks can fuck a cheerio without breaking it.

Posted by: Berserker at May 24, 2010 05:08 PM (gWHrG)

37 Will Folks taught MLK, Jr., how to make a stand for what is right.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:09 PM (KM7Go)

38 I stole the Theory of Relativity from Will Folks.

Posted by: Albert Einstein at May 24, 2010 05:09 PM (1fanL)

39 Will Folks divides by zero whenever he feels like it.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:09 PM (hVdJG)

40 Will Folks loads his shotgun with depleted uranium and TRUTH, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:09 PM (66DVY)

41 Question: Will Folks vs. Lord Cheney. Who wins?

Will Folks assured me he wins. But he's not going to say anything else because he wants to spare the former VP's feelings.

Posted by: pbrown at May 24, 2010 05:09 PM (ysxRF)

42 Philosophers and ethicists consult Will Folks when they can't discern right from wrong.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (KM7Go)

43 Who is this will folks of whom you speak?

Posted by: winston at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (Dq9BS)

44 Will Folks is the real Bruce Wayne.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (gofDd)

45 Will Folks favorite opening ice-breaker is "I wanna come on your head." And that shit WORKS!!!!

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (66DVY)

Oh for god's sake boys.....

Posted by: dagnymc at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (OjRBj)

47 Aristotle? Archimedes? Einstein?

Idiots!

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:10 PM (c0A3e)

48 Will Folks' mohel had to use a drawbridge to perform the Bris.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:11 PM (kmEfr)

49 What on earth would happen if you combined the power of Lord Cheney's Warcock with Will Folk's Sword of Doom?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:11 PM (UOM48)

50 When Will Folks returned from Vietnam, a hippie tried to spit on him, but Will Folks just unzipped his fly and lassoed that long-haired pinko.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:11 PM (W+GYq)

51 When Will Folks talks I LISTEN.

Posted by: E.F Hutton at May 24, 2010 05:11 PM (YLS+B)

Nikki Haley?

I'd hit it.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (dQdrY)

53 Tony Stark stole the Iron Man suit from Will Folks.

Will Folks will get his revenge one day.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (c0A3e)

54 Will Folks molested me when I was a small boy.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (1fanL)

55 What on earth would happen if you combined the power of Lord Cheney's Warcock with Will Folk's Sword of Doom?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 09:11 PM (UOM4

NEVER cross the streams!

Posted by: Egon Spengler at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (W+GYq)

56 Will Folks found my G spot.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (tgXx6)

57 Will Folks is Bikini Inspector #69. Read Ace's Margaret Thatcher article.

Posted by: pbrown at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (ysxRF)

58 God consulted with Will Folks to see if he could include "Thou shalt not commit adultery" in the Ten Commandments.

Posted by: Editor at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (YX6i/)

59 Another Will Folks line that gets the ladies is, "Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow morning? And should I call you, or NUDGE you? Ha, ha. Oh, but seriously, before we get pancakes you're gonna wanna take my cock out of your mouth, first."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:12 PM (66DVY)

60 Will Folks so far is fond of Guam.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (hVdJG)

61 56 That's just gross

Posted by: dagnymc at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (OjRBj)

62 Will Folks molested me when I was a small boy.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at May 24, 2010 09:12 PM (1fanL)

Will Folks molested himself when he was a small boy.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (W+GYq)

63 Will Folks put the hero in heroine.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (KM7Go)

64 Will Folks is Barack Obama's real father

Posted by: robtr at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (fwSHf)

65 When I have a spiritual crisis,I call Will Folks.He straightens my ass out.....

Posted by: Pope Benedict at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (YLS+B)

66 Will Folks BREAKS BITCHES

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:13 PM (Wh0W+)

67 Will Folks found my G spot.

Posted by: Hillary Clinton at May 24, 2010 09:12 PM (tgXx6)

Oh come on. Let's not get carried away here.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (1fanL)

68 Joy Behar is rendered speechless in the presence of Will Folk's Sword of Doom. And never achieves the ability to speak again.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (UOM48)

69 Will Folks shot first!

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (gofDd)

70 Will Folks' dreams look like heavy metal album covers. So do his bowel movements, actually.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (66DVY)

71 I am the reason John Kerry had to claim he was in Cambodia for Christmas.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (4y0YU)

72 #55 NEVER cross the streams!

Fuck you, egghead! I'll cross the streams whenever I damn well please!

I would have taken down Stay Puff with one punchdown.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (c0A3e)

73 Will Folks put the discreet in discretion.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:14 PM (KM7Go)

74 Another Will Folks line that gets the ladies is, "Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow morning? And should I call you, or NUDGE you? Ha, ha. Oh, but seriously, before we get pancakes you're gonna wanna take my cock out of your mouth, first."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 09:12 PM (66DVY)

Know how I know you're lying? 'Cause the ladies NEVER wanna take Will Folks's cock out of their mouths. He has to pry it out with the Jaws of Life.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:15 PM (W+GYq)

75 this is just like 9/11 all over again

Posted by: Ben at May 24, 2010 05:15 PM (DKV43)

76 There was no Ice Age. Will Folks ejaculated.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:15 PM (kmEfr)

77 #64 WTF?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:15 PM (UOM48)

78 I get my tan by basking in the glow of Will Folks.

Posted by: Mitt Romney at May 24, 2010 05:15 PM (YLS+B)

79 Will Folks once kept a secret for a thousand years.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:16 PM (KM7Go)

80 Will Folks uses aircraft carriers as condoms.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:16 PM (hVdJG)

81 Will Folks shot the first payload to Mars.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:16 PM (KM7Go)

82 True fact: You can't spell Fowl Skill without Will Folks.

Posted by: the chicken at May 24, 2010 05:16 PM (Kn9r7)

83 Will Folks farts are the real cause of global warming.

Posted by: Al Gore at May 24, 2010 05:17 PM (Updet)

84 76 There was no Ice Age. Will Folks ejaculated.

Whenever it snows anywhere, think of that folks!

Especially when you try to touch snowflakes with your tongue. Yummy, aren't they?

You're quite welcome, mortals!

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:17 PM (c0A3e)

85 Likes Venti Moccha Frappucinos (with extra chocolate drizzle) and has a pimp hand, gotta be bipolar.

Not sure I can top the mans own shit: http://tinyurl.com/346urzg

Posted by: Jean at May 24, 2010 05:17 PM (CPefM)

86 @80: And oddly enough, thousands of sailors are still happy to board it.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:17 PM (kmEfr)

87 Several years ago, prior to my marriage, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.

However, Will Folks describes Dick Cheney's romp in the Tijuana whorehouse as only mildly inappropriate.

Posted by: pbrown at May 24, 2010 05:17 PM (ysxRF)

88 Will Folks is forever feared in 'Nam. As a matter of fact, no one will speak his name.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (UOM48)

89 Here's some additional information.

Posted by: seattle slough at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (JRGA6)

90 Will Folks shit doesn't stink.

Posted by: Will Folks toilet at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (tgXx6)

91 Physicists invented the concept of "dark matter" because even they couldn't contemplate the true mass of Will Folks' dong.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (kmEfr)

92 Will Folks is a Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer. AKA, geek.

Posted by: Editor at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (YX6i/)

93 Will Folks was the person from Porlock.

Posted by: Samuel Taylor Coleridge at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (KM7Go)

94 will folks gets wood when he looks at michelle obama...

Posted by: winston at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (Dq9BS)

95 Will Folks sticks magnets on Darth Vader.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:18 PM (hVdJG)

96 If there indeed man-made global warming, it's due to Will Folk's cock.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (UOM48)

97 Will Folks hunts hobos and kills them with his mind.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (gofDd)

98 I threw Seattle Slough a mercy hump.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (YLS+B)

99 ~tap tap tap tap~

This microphone? Yes, this .. it is on? Yes?
Good, I will begin.

I am reading in your papers of your Will Folks and his penis of wandering ... we have no such problems in my hometown, inshallah. If a man is frisky in his loins he must walk past four melon patches and two goat farms before arriving at the house of a married woman.

I say this as you are my friends, when in my hometown, do not try the melon.

But as I read further I find that the man Will Folks is writes a web log - and I have to ask this question of myself - why is this man, Will Folks, not tending goats?

In my home town a person as useless as Will Folks would find himself tending goats as his job -and by "tending" I mean "holding them down" ... if you understand my meaning, and I am of reasonable hopefulness that such is the case.

-

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (ruzrP)

100 Holy shit, I don't wanna mess with this Will Folks dude.

Posted by: Wilt Chamberlain at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (ohTks)

101
Whilst I was in Vietnam, I saw a fortune teller who was on fire. He was a napalm reader.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (tamie)

102 I'm gonna go to a website where I can read some more about Rand Paul, who I heard also had an inappropriate relationship with pair of Nikki Haley's underpants.

Posted by: kansas at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (2kVkH)

103 The good news is Will Folks' tears cure cancer. The bad news is Will Folks never cries.

Posted by: davidt at May 24, 2010 05:19 PM (nqCRm)

104 Late night overload..who is Ace boning now?

Posted by: Quilly Mammoth at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (h8KYo)

105

Will Folks knows what it's like to stare down the barrel of a Chinese T-62.

Because he's made more than his fair share of powerful enemies.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (Wh0W+)

106 Will Folks beat James T. Kirk in a fight over the green lady.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (gofDd)

107 Will Folks was the person from Porlock.

Posted by: Samuel Taylor Coleridge at May 24, 2010 09:18 PM (KM7Go)

That's why I come to AoSHQ. For the culture.

Posted by: FUBAR at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (1fanL)

108 Rill Fork's cock makes me howney. I gives you awl my nuclea weapons. Pweese.

Posted by: Kim Jung Il at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (UOM48)

109 As an aside, Nikki Haley practices her kegels on MX missiles. Exploding MX missles.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:20 PM (kmEfr)

110 Was this the guy that fucked the dinosaurs to death?

Posted by: Late Comer at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (XBdMr)

111 104 Late night overload..who is Ace boning now?

Better question is who is boning Ace.

Think about it...real hard.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (c0A3e)

112 The job that Obama offered Joe Sestak?

To become Will Folks' fluffer.

Knowing that he could never handle it, Sestak decided to take his chances in the primary.

Posted by: pbrown at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (ysxRF)

113
Will Folks got the Octomom pregnant...with his mind.

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (Oxen1)

114 Will Forks is so cool he changes the climate.

http://tinyurl.com/33rzmhe

Posted by: Kemp at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (2+9Yx)

115 Hadji is here, that is a good. Soooo funny, Hadji.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:21 PM (66DVY)

116

Will Folks was deepthroat.

Posted by: Woodward and Bernstein at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (KM7Go)

117

I am going to steal those beer commercial lines.

Will Fork's mom has a tatoo that reads "son".

Will Forks speaks Russian in French.

People hang on Will Forks every word, even the prepositions

Will Forks organ donation card also lists his beard

Even Will Forks enemies list him as their emergency contact number

Will Forks is the only man to ace a rorshach test

Alien abductors have asked Will Forks to probe them.

Will Forks is allowed to touch the art at museums.

Posted by: Ben at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (DKV43)

118 I blew Will Folks. Now I'm the stunt double for the Joker.

Posted by: Unfortunate Fluffer at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (XBdMr)

119 Will Folks bats cleanup for the Astros between threesomes with Mr. Met and the San Diego Chicken.

Posted by: PA Cat at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (mhvwY)

120 Will Folks was deepthroat.

Posted by: Jism Jim at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (KM7Go)

121 Will Folks killed the albatross and cooked it for dinner.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (gofDd)

122 96 If there indeed man-made global warming, it's due to Will Folk's cock.

Jane, it's kinda funny when you say "cock"

Posted by: beerologist at May 24, 2010 05:22 PM (tgXx6)

123 Steven Seagal refused to star in a movie with Will Folks because even he knew it was unrealistic that Seagal could kick Folks' ass.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (c0A3e)

124 I turn lesbians straight.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (YLS+B)

125 Will Folks is capable of tipping over Guam.

Posted by: INCITEmarsh at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (FCn6Y)

126 Farm animals tremble in Will Folk's presence. And farm wives drop to their knees.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (UOM48)

127 106 Will Folks beat James T. Kirk in a fight over the green lady.

The hell he fucking did.

Posted by: James Tiberius By-God Kirk, Who Takes No Shit from Douchenozzles Without Hairpieces at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (ohTks)

128 Will Folks freaks me out.

Posted by: Hunter S. Thompson at May 24, 2010 05:23 PM (DXa7u)

129 I heard will folks used to have a blog...let's take this party over there while we still can http://bit.ly/aopGhI

Posted by: winston at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (Dq9BS)

130 Will Folks killed Lincoln, Kennedy, MLK and McKinley...with his cock.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (gofDd)

131 Will Forks thinks that the Burj Khalifa tower is "cute".

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (kmEfr)

132 Will Folks thinks exploding underwear tickles just right.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (hVdJG)

133 My intellect slices like a switch-blade knife.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (YLS+B)

134 beerologist @122

Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (UOM48)

135 Will Folks is one crazy motherfucker.

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (VXBR1)

136 Will Folks' penis has lungs.

Posted by: Late Comer at May 24, 2010 05:24 PM (XBdMr)

137 Will Folks wouldn't bring a switch-blade to a hand-gun fight.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:25 PM (Wh0W+)

138 Will Folks is the only person Hannibal Lector would not invite over for fava beans and a nice Chanati.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:25 PM (c0A3e)

139 Will Folks taught Maddox the "like being bukkakaed with stupid" line.

Posted by: jwpaine at May 24, 2010 05:25 PM (g4J4S)

140 Paul Anka calls me for advice on how to handle his band.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:25 PM (YLS+B)

141 Will Folks is capable of tipping over Guam.

Posted by: INCITEmarsh at May 24, 2010 09:23 PM (FCn6Y)

By standing on the beach, facing the ocean, and getting a hard-on.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (W+GYq)

142 Will Folks made Obama his bitch.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (gofDd)

143 When Will Folks played football, he invented the "forearm shiver," except he used a sword.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (66DVY)

144 The smallest deposit accepted at the Will Folks Sperm Bank is 5 gallons.

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (Oxen1)

145 136 And gills.Bitch.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (YLS+B)

146 Will Folks gives Elena Kagan warm fuzzies in her "naughty bits."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (UOM48)

147 Ted Kennedy would have saved Mary Jo, but Will Folks told him it'd be good for his career.

Posted by: Editor at May 24, 2010 05:26 PM (YX6i/)

148 Contrary to popular belief, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not destroyed by the A-bomb.

Will Folks simply farted over them from a airplane and blew them away.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (c0A3e)

149 I am a Motherfucker!

Posted by: Will Folks' Cock at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (ohTks)

150 Will Folks has to pay an extra $40 to get his cock on an airplane.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (66DVY)

151

Will Folks made Obama his bitch.

George Soros is Will Folks?

Posted by: Late Comer at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (XBdMr)

152 Will Folks' wallet says "Worst Motherfucker."

Posted by: Jules at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (nqCRm)

153

It was on the good ship Venus,

By Christ, you should've seen us,

The figurehead was a whore in bed,

And the mast a mammoth Will Folks.

Posted by: The Sex Pistols at May 24, 2010 05:27 PM (kmEfr)

154 Will Folks has to pay an extra $40 to get his cock on an airplane.

He stows it away under the seat in front of him.

Posted by: Late Comer at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (XBdMr)

155 If Will Folks's cock falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, that's because they were all knocked down by the massive earthquake.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (W+GYq)

156 Will Folks id Trig's Father and his Mother.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (hVdJG)

157 142 True,Obama told me I am a "Damocles Sword" hanging over his head.I banged Michelle too,three times,in the Lincoln Bedroom.I made Obama tape it.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (YLS+B)

158 Will Folks must follow all routes for hazardous cargo. It's the law.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (Wh0W+)

159 The South Korean ship wasn't sunk by a NORK torpedo, Will Folks was swimming off a yacht in the area and accidentally hit it with his cock.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (UOM48)

160 When asked if he was still a Marxist the Dalai Lama said, "No. I'm now a Folksist. It has moral ethics."

Posted by: Editor at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (YX6i/)

161 Will Folks deserves a Piece Prize, IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Barry Obama at May 24, 2010 05:28 PM (Updet)

162 134

Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock,cock

Posted by: Andrew Sullivan thought bubbl at May 24, 2010 05:29 PM (tgXx6)

163 Will Folks can't climax without getting hit in the face with a tire iron.

(Did I steal that from an old thread? They all blend together in my mind.)

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:29 PM (irRr1)

164
This girl in a bikini stopped me to ask directions. I just kept saying to myself, "Don't stare at her tits, don't stare at her tits."

Then she said, "Don't stare at whose tits?"

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:29 PM (tamie)

165 will folks just calm the hell down.

Posted by: willow at May 24, 2010 05:29 PM (7FgWm)

166 128 Will Folks freaks me out.

Posted by: Hunter S. Thompson at May 24, 2010 09:23 PM (DXa7u)

Where the fuck am I?

After the cannon shot, I don't remember shit.

Posted by: Zombie Hunter S Thompson at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (2+9Yx)

167 One shot of Will Folks' ejaculate could disperse the entire Gulf oil slick, if only they would ask him.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (ohTks)

168 Steven Seagal is "Will Folks's Bitch"

Posted by: artesian at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (I1S3O)

169 @165
heh, good one

Posted by: Y-not at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (Kn9r7)

170 I took one look at Will Folks and said "Even my Power Glutes have limits!"

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (kmEfr)

171 ~ tap tap tap ~

What is the most number of times that a woman achieves bliss while being consumated by Will Folks?

Who cares?

What is the difference between a Muslim sucicide bomber and Will Folks?

A muslim suicide blows himself up.

Will Folks set out across the desert on a one humped camel. By the time he reached Mecca it was twice humped By the time he returned the camel to its drover, the beast was completely fucked out. Such is Will Foks way with camels.

It is true, the owner of the camel told me that after he rented the camel to Will Folks, it did not spit anymore - it swallowed.

.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at May 24, 2010 05:30 PM (ruzrP)

172 I had sex with Will Folks once. Once.

Posted by: Sperm Whale That Exploded In Taipei at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (kmEfr)

173 Will Folks is trustworthy.

Posted by: Abraham Lincoln at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (KM7Go)

174 Palin?Turned here down flat.She cried.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (YLS+B)

175 Will Folks once donkey-punched a mastodon.

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (irRr1)

176 Will Folks has to pay an extra $40 to get his cock on an airplane. Don't you mean they pay his cock to ride their airplane?

Posted by: shocked travel agent at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (SwkdU)

177
Will Folks is the inventor (and proud user) of Lace Wigs.

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (Oxen1)

178 is everyone giddy? or do i need to drink to get where you guyz are?

Posted by: willow at May 24, 2010 05:31 PM (7FgWm)

179 Mark who? Ooooh, Will.......

Posted by: Mark Sanford's lover at May 24, 2010 05:32 PM (UOM48)

180 I'm guessing this Will fella mostly goes by Willie? Maybe D'Willie?

Posted by: Late Comer at May 24, 2010 05:32 PM (XBdMr)

181 Will Folks taught me all my moves.

Posted by: American Gigolo at May 24, 2010 05:32 PM (KM7Go)

182 psst Y-not, thank you, thank you

Posted by: willow at May 24, 2010 05:33 PM (7FgWm)

183
Ya know that Queen alien that Ripley kills at the end of Aliens?

Will Folks is the guy who knocked her up.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:33 PM (UA4gE)

184 Steven Seagal wants to be Will Folks.

Posted by: mpfs at May 24, 2010 05:33 PM (QuP9W)

185 Will Folks found the Valles Marineris to be "a little loose".

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:33 PM (kmEfr)

186 Will Folks shot JR

Posted by: Editor at May 24, 2010 05:33 PM (YX6i/)

187 So called "denialists" claim that Will Folks' dick is "just a hoax."

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:34 PM (66DVY)

188 Waterboarding doesn't work on Will Folks.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:34 PM (KM7Go)

189 Will Folks doesn't masturbate...he doesn't have to.

Posted by: mpfs at May 24, 2010 05:34 PM (QuP9W)

190 Will Folks uses M1A2's as roller skates.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:35 PM (hVdJG)

191 will folks ever learn.

Posted by: willow at May 24, 2010 05:35 PM (7FgWm)

192 Will Folks made a horse laugh. Then he made him cry

Posted by: kbdabear at May 24, 2010 05:35 PM (sYxEE)

193 Will Folks gargles with carpet-tacks.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:35 PM (66DVY)

194 I cannot tell a lie. Will Folks has been having me every weekend since 1784.

Posted by: George Fucking Washington at May 24, 2010 05:35 PM (ohTks)

195 Will Folks "invented" quotation marks.

Posted by: Jules at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (nqCRm)

196 Will Folks laughs at Khan's superior intellect

Posted by: kbdabear at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (sYxEE)

197
Will Folk's spooge cures elephantiasis.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (UA4gE)

198 Will Folks made me forget to change my link.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (KM7Go)

199 Will Folks invented the Flying Dutchman. And I ain't talkin' about a ship.

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (VXBR1)

200 Will Folks removed that Indian lady's earwax...with his mind.

Posted by: mpfs at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (QuP9W)

201 ~ tap tap tap ~

I was in a room with Will Folks one time - he was among many married women. Each of these women were emitting the musk of arousal in his presence. This caused a stirring in my loins as with the loins of all the men.

I looked across the room and saw Will Folks penis ... I wondered why it was getting bigger and bigger ... and then it hit me.

I tell you fourteen ritual ablutions later, I was still unclean.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at May 24, 2010 05:36 PM (ruzrP)

202

Will Folks fired off one money shot in his lifetime. We call it "Halley's Comet"

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (kmEfr)

203 Will Folks has a perpetual motion machine. Between his legs.

Posted by: Ronster at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (tAmmU)

204 WILL FOLKS !

Posted by: MATT DAMON ! at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (sYxEE)

205 Will Folks crossed the Delaware river riding his cock.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (gofDd)

206 We don't drink! We don't smoke! WILL Folks! WILL Folks!

Posted by: Norfolk at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (ohTks)

207 will folks parents had a wicked sense of humor..

Posted by: willow at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (7FgWm)

208 Will Folks is the "Only One".

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (c0A3e)

209 Will Folk's dong was used as the springboard for the diving competition in the 2008 summer Olympics.

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:37 PM (irRr1)

210 Will Folks once fingered a Bigfoot.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (66DVY)

211
Went hiking with the ex-boss, Mark Sanford the other day, half way to the summit he fell, slipping a disc in his spine. I looked at him and grinned saying "I guess you could call this 'Brokeback' mountain".

"Very funny, but I haven't broken my back."

"I know, but I'm about to fuck you."

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (tamie)

212 Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt broke up over Will Folks.

Posted by: rona barret at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (nqCRm)

213 Will Folks is so powerful he took Rand Paul off the pages of AoSHQ

Posted by: robtr at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (fwSHf)

214 Will Folks doesn't need a fluffer

Posted by: Peter North at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (sYxEE)

215
Will Folk's wiener eats sand worms. And it's name is a "killing word".

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:38 PM (UA4gE)

216

Remember Ace's post about that Russian guy who made a video about how great he was?

Posted by: droopwing plover at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (UUkhk)

217 Will Folks is more powerful than the ONT.

Posted by: Mark Sanford's lover at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (UOM48)

218 Batman?Loosely based on me.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (YLS+B)

219 Will Folks says Contessa Brewer is as tight as chipmunk on Christmas Day.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (hVdJG)

220 Actually, Will Folks invented beer.

Posted by: Yahoo Serious at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (KM7Go)

221 A priest, a rabbi and Will Folks walked into a bar one night. Will Folks promised he would keep the rest of the details to himself because it's the honorable thing to do.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:39 PM (Wh0W+)

222

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (UA4gE)

223 Und now you know vat I meant by zee Triumph of zee Will.

Posted by: Adolf Hitler at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (kmEfr)

224 Let me be clear, and make no mistake. I DID bow to Will Folks

Posted by: King Barry I at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (sYxEE)

225 Will Folks' mind is so powerful he took control of my sockpuppet. And raped it.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (UOM48)

226 This boy has a gigantic set.

Posted by: George S. Patton at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (ohTks)

227 Will Folks is so honest, he'll confess to anything.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:40 PM (KM7Go)

228 Will Folks can smoke a cigar with his cock.

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:41 PM (irRr1)

229 Will Folks's cock makes Michelle Obama's ass look small?

Posted by: artesian at May 24, 2010 05:41 PM (I1S3O)

230 ~ tap tap tap ~

Why is an elephant large, wrinkled and gray?

Because if an elephant were small, smooth and white, it would be an aspirin.

Why is an elephant large, wrinkled, gray, and wrapped in duct tape?

So that the elephant does not explode when Will Folks has intercourse with the beast

Thank you Thank You Thank You

and tip your waitresses

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at May 24, 2010 05:41 PM (ruzrP)

231 Will Folks invented a popular game he calls "Wacky Racers." He drives around like crazy on a golf-cart, and bashes random people in the head with his massive genitals. He's killed six people, and he says he'll keep on killing until ESPN covers him.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2010 05:41 PM (66DVY)

232 "Yo Ace, I'm really happy for you, I'll let you finish, but Will Folks has one of the best cocks evah. One of the best cocks evah!"

Posted by: kanye west at May 24, 2010 05:41 PM (bizjx)

233
Lord Humongous gave Will Folks his car. Will Folks humped it and made him watch.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (UA4gE)

234 The only woman Will Folks cannot bend to his will is the Wookie. And that is because he's not interested.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (UOM48)

235 Fire doesn't melt steel. Will Folks' cock melts steel.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (oWIRl)

236 Will Folks broke apart pangea to create all the continents.

Posted by: wherestherum at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (gofDd)

237 That large, cylindrical shadow of a low-flying jet half of the continental United States saw pass overhead this afternoon? Not a jet.

Posted by: The War Between the Undead States at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (ohTks)

238 I made Vladimir Putin cry.I told him I don't do men.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:42 PM (YLS+B)

239
Only 2,000 more posts and this thread will be half as long as Will Folk's dick.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:43 PM (UA4gE)

240 Will Folks is a Wesley's Crusher

Posted by: Will Wheaton at May 24, 2010 05:43 PM (sYxEE)

241 Errol Flynn used to say "I'm in like Will!"

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:43 PM (Wh0W+)

242 Captain America was cloned from DNA taken from Will Folks' capacious scrotum.

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:44 PM (irRr1)

243
Will Folks caused the BP oil spill. He's just lubing up the Gulf of Mexico so he can fuck it. And make Mexico watch.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:44 PM (UA4gE)

244

I like the cut of this Will dudes jib and would like to subscribe to his newsletter!!!!

Posted by: tiger woods at May 24, 2010 05:44 PM (bizjx)

245 236 Will Folks broke apart pangea to create all the continents.

It felt more like being split apart, actually...

Posted by: Pangaea at May 24, 2010 05:45 PM (ohTks)

246 Will Folks is the only Jedi who doesn't need a sword

Posted by: Luke Skywalker at May 24, 2010 05:45 PM (sYxEE)

247 When I say I have a rocket in my pocket I mean it's a Saturn V.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:45 PM (YLS+B)

248 There was no "land bridge" across the Bering Straight. There was only Will Folks.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:46 PM (kmEfr)

249 Michelle Obama like to tone her arms lifting Will Folks cock.

Posted by: artesian at May 24, 2010 05:46 PM (I1S3O)

250 Will Folks is dating the Chunnel.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:46 PM (kmEfr)

251 Why in the fuck didn't I think of that!!!!

Posted by: jesse james at May 24, 2010 05:47 PM (bizjx)

252 Will Folks says the Euro makes the best wallpaper.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:48 PM (hVdJG)

253 245 236 Will Folks broke apart pangea to create all the continents.

It felt more like being split apart, actually...
Posted by: Pangaea at May 24, 2010 09:45 PM

But because it was WILL FOLKS, it wasn't rape-rape

Posted by: Whoopi Goldberg at May 24, 2010 05:48 PM (sYxEE)

254
Will Folks once had to use the chunnel as a catheter.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:48 PM (UA4gE)

255

The infidel Will Folks has been banned from air travel. Paradise no longer has any more virgins.

Posted by: Hassan bin Layyed at May 24, 2010 05:48 PM (kmEfr)

256
Will Folks just got my southern exposure all humid and nasty.

Posted by: Rosie O'Donnell at May 24, 2010 05:49 PM (UA4gE)

257 Will Folks caused Wilt Chamberlain to cum out of retirement.

Posted by: Ronster at May 24, 2010 05:49 PM (tAmmU)

258 Will Folks masturbated once. Pompeii and Herculaneum never recovered.

Posted by: Fa Cube Itches at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (kmEfr)

259

Will Folks mind tricks work on me.

Posted by: Watto, the Toydarian junk dealer at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (KM7Go)

260 That was no planet killing machine, that was WILL FOLKS!

Posted by: Commodore Matt Decker at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (sYxEE)

261 Will Folks remember this turd in 6 months?

Posted by: ontherocks at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (HBqDo)

262 I'm the only one who can make the Swiss pick a side.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (YLS+B)

263 229 Will Folks's cock makes Michelle Obama's ass look small?

God, I wish it were so.

Posted by: Barry, The One at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (2+9Yx)

264 Will Folks got me to stop sniffing glue.

Posted by: Eric Massa at May 24, 2010 05:50 PM (KM7Go)

265 Haven't seen Ace punch up like this in months. Well done, sir.

Posted by: Zimriel at May 24, 2010 05:51 PM (VVYMT)

266 Will Folks is so awesome, that men thank him for screwing their wives.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:51 PM (UOM48)

267 "I like the cut of my jib."

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:51 PM (KM7Go)

268 Will Folks used "Damocles sword" because a gentleman does not use expressions like "Moisture-Seeking Piston of Ajax"

Posted by: Dave in Texas at May 24, 2010 05:51 PM (Wh0W+)

269 That Catherine the Great horse story? Me.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:51 PM (kmEfr)

270
Will Folks slipped and fell while running nude and scared the land with his diamond-hard penis. We call it the Panama Canal.

Posted by: Dang at May 24, 2010 05:52 PM (UA4gE)

271 Will Folks put the awe in awesome.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 05:52 PM (KM7Go)

272 Will Folks has never had a BJ. And never will. Some things are absolute.

Posted by: Hammer at May 24, 2010 05:52 PM (GkYyh)

273 Joy Behar makes even me throw up in my mouth a little.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:52 PM (YLS+B)

274 If my data is correct, there can be no answer to this Will Folks

Posted by: Spock at May 24, 2010 05:52 PM (sYxEE)

275 Will Folks says Greece can crash at his place if it all goes to shit.

Posted by: eman at May 24, 2010 05:53 PM (hVdJG)

276
I was standing at the urinal when Will Folks stood next to me.

I turned to him and said, "I fucking hate you, you bastard!"

He looked at me, obviously hurt, and said, "Why? I'm a human being just like you. I have a family, I have a job, I pay tax. Why let stereotypes dictate how you treat people? Why so much hatred for someone that you don't even know?"

Then he looked down at my cock and said, "Oh... fair enough, bro."

Posted by: Barack Obama at May 24, 2010 05:53 PM (tamie)

277 Will Folks' bucket list is nothing but a drawing of him and Mr. T Eiffel Towering Susan B. Anthony.

Posted by: AndrewR at May 24, 2010 05:54 PM (irRr1)

278

Will Folks taught me how to get through a wicker chair ball busting without telling secrets.

Posted by: Daniel Craig's James Bond at May 24, 2010 05:54 PM (KM7Go)

279 264 Will Folks got me to stop sniffing glue. Posted by: Eric Massa at May 24, 2010 09:50 PM

Me too, even on a bad week for it

Posted by: Steve McCroskey at May 24, 2010 05:54 PM (sYxEE)

280
I said no to Ellen DeGeneres.
That's why she jumped the fence.
But I'd rather not talk about it.

Posted by: will folks at May 24, 2010 05:55 PM (w/r5a)

281
Men see about eight different colors
Women see Will folks

Posted by: Atomic Roach at May 24, 2010 05:55 PM (Oxen1)

282 Will Folks' cock is so big, he has to pay out of state taxes on it. Only Cheney's is larger.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:56 PM (UOM48)

283 I fucked Oprah than wiped my dick off on Steadman Graham.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 05:56 PM (YLS+B)

284 Will Folks is a bigger man that Hillary Clinton.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:57 PM (UOM48)

285 Will Folks screwed Jada Pinkett Smith, and made Will Smith cry.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2010 05:58 PM (UOM48)

286 I was having a bad case of writer's block on how to shape the Na'vi. Then I met Will Folks at Hef's mansion and he got naked. Will Folks changed cinema as we know it

Posted by: James Cameron at May 24, 2010 05:58 PM (sYxEE)

287 I was at that same party Cameron was at.

Because of Will Folks, I will have to reboot porn as we know it

Posted by: JJ Abrams at May 24, 2010 06:00 PM (sYxEE)

288 Jim wanted to film my cock in 3-D but I told him the world wasn't ready yet.

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 06:01 PM (YLS+B)

289 288 Jim wanted to film my cock in 3-D but I told him the world wasn't ready yet.

No shit. I'm still trying to adjust to the real thing.

Posted by: The Third Dimension at May 24, 2010 06:04 PM (ohTks)

290

Oh, man, I forgot about the ninja boy's page. There were a lot of funny spin-off pages.

Posted by: Daniel Craig's James Bond at May 24, 2010 06:07 PM (KM7Go)

291 Only because he didn't screw me afterwards. I be bi.

Posted by: WillSmith at May 24, 2010 06:07 PM (GXLjK)

292 sock

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 06:07 PM (KM7Go)

293 If you ever wondered why we're investing so much money in 21:9 television,
now you know.

Posted by: Philips Electronics at May 24, 2010 06:08 PM (w/r5a)

294 Will Folks ain't got nuthin' on me, y'all. I already hit it. And smoked the cigar...

Posted by: Slick Willy at May 24, 2010 06:11 PM (7ZyYf)

295

Will Folks once successfully solved a Rubik's cube in ten seconds flat.........with his cock.

Posted by: Blazer at May 24, 2010 06:13 PM (t72+4)

296 If it wasn't for Will Folks, there'd be no need for IMAX.

Posted by: SMPTE at May 24, 2010 06:14 PM (w/r5a)

297 I told the bankers that I was the only thing standing between them and Will Folks

Posted by: B+arack Ob+ama at May 24, 2010 06:15 PM (sYxEE)

298 That tattoo on Mike Tyson's face? Let's just say Will Folks likes to mark his bitches.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2010 06:25 PM (xGIqT)

299

Snakes On A Plane was originally titled, Will Folks Cock On A Plane. However the producers were forced to revise the script after women and children fled the theater in panic at a test screening and the MPAA threatend to give it an X rating.

Posted by: Blazer at May 24, 2010 06:29 PM (t72+4)

300

Scotty Beauchamp cries facetears from the asswound Will Folks gave him.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2010 06:33 PM (xGIqT)

301 Will Folks is half Irish, half German and half cock. Because fractions are for homos.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2010 06:34 PM (xGIqT)

302

While you're walking around with a third pinky between your legs, Will Folks is renting his dick out for children's birthday parties.

Posted by: Empire of Jeff at May 24, 2010 06:39 PM (xGIqT)

303 Will Folks touched the man..err woman in me.

Posted by: Janet Reno at May 24, 2010 07:07 PM (qmOxq)

304 Will Folks doesn't write letter to Penthouse ... cause he lives there already.

Posted by: Adriane at May 24, 2010 07:14 PM (mXBw3)

305 Will Folks is going to learn that NYT v Sullivan is not exactly a blank check.

Posted by: Mikey NTH at May 24, 2010 07:21 PM (gzjX3)

306 Meanwhile, in an undisclosed location, Darth Cheney was observed with a measuring tape in his hands, as he was saying "hmmmmm..."

Posted by: Bill H at May 24, 2010 07:21 PM (q8CmE)

307 Will Folks splits atoms... with his cock.

Posted by: Bill H at May 24, 2010 07:24 PM (q8CmE)

308 Will Folks didn't return his Census form but still got his fair share.

Posted by: Lowell at May 24, 2010 07:32 PM (/s24O)

309 Will Folks has to face West during Football season, because Atlanta leases his Left Nut- they call it the "Georgia Dome".

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 24, 2010 07:34 PM (W7JkV)

310

From the novel "Deadwood." Wild Bill has just been buried. Calmity Jane is going around claiming that she and Bill were lovers. Conversation between Bill's old friend Charlie Utter and Jane went something like this -

Charlie: You were never with him.

Jane: How do you know what we done? You wasn't there.

Charlie: The same way that I know a horse never climbed a tree.

Posted by: Wm T Sherman at May 24, 2010 07:43 PM (tm15w)

311 Will Folks can make Gibbsy answer questions from the WH press pool without sneering.

Posted by: PA Cat at May 24, 2010 07:44 PM (mhvwY)

312

Will Folks can calculate 20 percent of a restaurant check...with his mind.

The real "Shot Heard Round The World" was Will Folks' first wet dream.

Will Folks urged George to speak up about the cherry tree before all the news outlets leaked it.

Posted by: BB at May 24, 2010 07:46 PM (qF8q3)

313 Will Folks' advice to Gandhi: "If you starve yourself you'll get the entire world's attention, I suppose."

Posted by: BB at May 24, 2010 07:48 PM (qF8q3)

314 Will Folks once won a balloon animal tying contest using his left foot, his squeakhole, and a 2-day-old frijole burrito grande with habanero sauce.

Posted by: Zanzibar Buck-Buck McFate at May 24, 2010 07:49 PM (Hj9yW)

315 http://tinyurl.com/2mzkyj

Posted by: English Soccor Player at May 24, 2010 08:59 PM (nqCRm)

316 Will Folks popped a whole shipment of blowup sheep bound for Syria!

Posted by: cynthia mckinneys speed boat cptn at May 24, 2010 09:35 PM (wWO2G)

317 Who the fuck is Will Folks?

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 09:42 PM (h3ZPT)

318

Hey! where's everybody going? Just got here! Have you seen my cable? Bigger than Comcast...

We are all going streaking down to the quad and then the gymnasium....let's go!!!

Posted by: Will Folks at May 24, 2010 09:47 PM (h3ZPT)

319 As usuAL, the acCENT is on the seCOND sylLABLE. I do so adore the trash spewing orgies. I also love how we're all being asked to make an "informed choice" as to credibility between a gentlewoman of one very old profession above reproach (government, pronounced "pauloTICKS"), and a gentleman of another of approximately the same age and repute (journalism, pronounced "I wear no pants and call it work"). So comparing respective professions tells us nothing. Nor does comparing personal motivations. Comparing her generally conceded hotness to his generally acknowledged trollitude is great fun, but the very presence here of so many of us stands in compelling testimony to the irrationality of heterosexual attraction. And logic is of no help, even on this narrow issue: you can't say hot chicks don't do it with docs, dicks, dogs, ducks or dorks, because there's aboundant evidence they in fact do. Nor can you conclude much from their apparent relative financial circumstances. To paraphrase the Yahoo Sports basketball blog: Balls Don't Lie. Plus there's a lot of parsing going on at both ends, like some pre-arranged code. Does "several" include 15 or 20 when it comes to years? It's not like she's saying they NEVER got it on. So here's the thing: if you wanted to immunize someone from a coming flu epidemic, wouldn't you give that person a flu shot in advance? She's certainly easy to paint as the victim in a phony scandal. And the bonus is, no one needs to actually lie about anything at all; just play act like he/she is aggrieved. Also, I note that the charming visAGE of Mr Karl Rove has surfaced in this passion play in the palmetto state. I'm sure that's a coincidence. Still, it's nice to see stoning's still in vogue here. Anyone got a nice heavy lumpy one with sharp edges?

Posted by: Portly Trueman Kaput at May 24, 2010 10:11 PM (zfRju)

320 Portly Trueman Kaput - Just for you I will repeat the comment that I posted in the first thread on this.

I have always pointed out that the two lowest acts a man can engage in is to
1) Sleep with a woman and then brag about it
2) Claim to be sleeping with a woman that he is not

Any man who tells you he is sleeping with a particular woman is either 1 or 2.

Posted by: Have Blue at May 24, 2010 10:59 PM (mV+es)

321
I've often found that people like that tend to be in very secure positions where they're either on a pension, or they

couldn't be fired unless they were in jail, or they had a nice trust fund or other backstop.

Posted by: spider costume at May 25, 2010 12:05 AM (bE5eK)

322 As a true gentleman, Will Folks has a strict rule -- he will NEVER kiss and tell.

And by "strict rule," he means that he fingered Nikki Haley last Tuesday in a dressing room at Nordstroms and recorded the whole thing in a voice memo on his iPhone if you want to hear.

Posted by: Phinn at May 25, 2010 06:02 AM (emFX5)

323 Who the fuck is Will Folks? Oh. I googled it. Some fuckin' politcal blogger/cypher who I care nothing about. Yeah. I actually care slightly more about an upcoming Transformers video game than I do about Will " Shit, who the fuck cares?" Folks. Hell I care more about the microbes on my gamey scrote. Sigh. I never thought I'd ask the universe for some actual news, but.....y'know...maybe a big ball of frozen airplane piss could land in a celebrity's pool or something?

Posted by: cackfinger at May 25, 2010 06:17 AM (TUBcJ)

324 In defense of Folks claims, the picture he was holding in his left hand was Haley Mills in the "Parent Trap" so it's practically the same thing as doing Nikki.

Posted by: DANEgerus at May 25, 2010 06:26 AM (8qnoA)

325 Please provide your Mother's email address. I'm certain she'd have a thing or two to say about your public ruminations.

Posted by: iowavette at May 25, 2010 08:58 AM (0JTac)

326 My mother on the internet? lol. Not gonna happen.

Posted by: cackfinger at May 25, 2010 07:32 PM (TUBcJ)

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