Ace of Spades HQ

February 22, 2010

Fox Reporting Dick Cheney at GW Hospital, Resting Comfortably
— Dave in Texas

Chest pains. I think I heard George Washington U hospital.

Resting comfortably, and sharpening knives.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at 03:36 PM | Comments (142)
Post contains 33 words, total size 1 kb.

1 I hear the nurses are swooning over the War Cock

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, and Buckets of Scorn for the Left at February 22, 2010 03:37 PM (erIg9)

2 Man, Death really dodged a bullet there.

Posted by: Warthog at February 22, 2010 03:38 PM (PWkDX)

3 ... loading his shotgun

Posted by: Zimriel at February 22, 2010 03:38 PM (6fNLN)

4 sharpening knives...on his cock.

Posted by: DrewM. at February 22, 2010 03:38 PM (9B5OK)

5 Resting comfortably, sharpening knives.

What else are you going to do on a Monday evening?

Posted by: Scout at February 22, 2010 03:39 PM (GiUTT)

6 1 I hear the nurses are swooning over the War Cock

I hear they had to borrow a hose from the local fire department for his catheter.

Posted by: Y-not at February 22, 2010 03:39 PM (Kn9r7)

7 If you're in that hospital, run for your life. Cheney's scouting for organs, again.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 22, 2010 03:42 PM (0FiCa)

8 I heard he had an erection for more than four hours. Takes three gallons of blood to keep "General Patton" going.

Posted by: dan in michigan at February 22, 2010 03:42 PM (9jRMu)

9 I hope he's OK. A good man

Posted by: nevergiveup at February 22, 2010 03:43 PM (0GFWk)

10 Probably just indigestion from chewing Obama's ass too much.

Posted by: nickless at February 22, 2010 03:43 PM (MMC8r)

11 DON'T DIE DICK

Posted by: Cheney for King at February 22, 2010 03:44 PM (Ue9UN)

12 One thing about it, with the history Cheney's had, he can probably self-diagnose most cardiac conditions. "Hmm....feels like a bit of atrial fibrillation.....best head in to the ol' hospital....."

Posted by: cthulhu at February 22, 2010 03:45 PM (u+gbs)

13 I heard he's just visiting Ace,after the Puddin / elmer's glue mix up.

Posted by: Indian Outlaw at February 22, 2010 03:46 PM (7NcLZ)

14 Brian Dennehy is reported hiding at an undisclosed location.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 03:46 PM (LSqh5)

15 "and sharpening knives."

with his mind!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at February 22, 2010 03:46 PM (ndlFj)

16 In order to perform open heart surgery on Cheney, they use a diamond drill bit to cut through his chest. Or one of his fingernails.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 22, 2010 03:47 PM (0FiCa)

17 Well, he has been giving the old warcock a workout lately, poking away at the Obamunist crew...

Posted by: Rightwingdeathbeast at February 22, 2010 03:47 PM (2GxIb)

18 I guess he must have heard about Scott Brown's vote today.

Posted by: conscious and wondering about Ace at February 22, 2010 03:47 PM (Vu6sl)

19 I just realised my annual leave is due, so I'll be out of town for a couple of days.

Let me know when it's safe to return.

Posted by: Death at February 22, 2010 03:47 PM (ugpVJ)

20 The doctors used his penis to make the incision

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 03:47 PM (qVmY7)

21 Hey Death, where's my sandwich?

Posted by: Dick Cheney at February 22, 2010 03:48 PM (0FiCa)

22 His blood type is piss and vinegar

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 03:48 PM (qVmY7)

23 This is obviously a trap to flush out the left-tard assassin. Thinking he's got Cheney dead to rights, he'll move in for the kill only to find out that he let him get that close because he's a quart shy of hippie blood.

Posted by: EC at February 22, 2010 03:49 PM (iWj1i)

24 In unrelated news, every nurse treating Dick Cheney has just scheduled an appointment in the maternity ward for a date nine months from today

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 03:50 PM (qVmY7)

25 Dick Cheney walked into a bar in Mexico. He noticed a sign on the big mirror that said : "1000 pesos to the man that can make my horse cry" The rest of the story is shrouded in mystery and wild speculation.

Posted by: Mord at February 22, 2010 03:50 PM (tTj19)

26 Get well soon. You are my favorite Dick. After seeing that one picture (and you morons know which one I mean) you understand.

Posted by: mpfs at February 22, 2010 03:50 PM (QuP9W)

He will be using Susan Surandon as a bed pan

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 03:51 PM (qVmY7)

28 He could be there hoarding souls again. Ruthless bastard.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 22, 2010 03:51 PM (0FiCa)

I'll bet the comments at DU and KOS are little different than when Billy went to the hospital recently.

Posted by: conscious and wishing Cheney the best at February 22, 2010 03:51 PM (Vu6sl)

30 I'll take Darth C's chest pains over Biden's plugs straight up.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at February 22, 2010 03:52 PM (oVREQ)

31 Bet this revs things up at the KosKids treehouse.

Posted by: billygoat at February 22, 2010 03:52 PM (5qJM5)

His cock has its own bed..

..twin X-long

Posted by: beedubya at February 22, 2010 03:53 PM (AnTyA)

33 Dick Cheney was born with testicular cancer and turned it into a 3rd nut.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 22, 2010 03:54 PM (0FiCa)

34 Probably just pulled a rib muscle laughing at how hard Beck pwn3d McCain with the Teddy Rooselvelt bit at CPAC...

Posted by: phreshone at February 22, 2010 03:54 PM (1AnxB)

35 28 He could be there hoarding souls again. Ruthless bastard.

This is one dude that I fear. My consort hates him because he takes souls that she wants to collect.

Posted by: Lord Hades at February 22, 2010 03:54 PM (otlXg)

36 Cheney ate Patch Adams cuz he wouldn't shut the fuck up during his stories.

Posted by: Dr. Spank at February 22, 2010 03:58 PM (0FiCa)

37

Lets just hope he doesnt need a catheter. They'll have to call in some Roughnecks to tap that vein.

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 03:59 PM (t72+4)

38 Love it, love it love it! BOR's going to answer Rush's spot-on criticism of BOR's moderate idiocy.

Posted by: RushBabe at February 22, 2010 04:02 PM (LKkE8)

39 Let me at him! I've been brewing something special, just for him.

Posted by: Doctor Amy Bishop at February 22, 2010 04:02 PM (0lyUI)

He needed a small breather after giving the Obama admin a warcock-lashing.

Serious note: get well soonest!

Posted by: Anna Puma at February 22, 2010 04:02 PM (Yb9ov)

41 Cheney emasculated the Merovingian.

With his fingernails.

Posted by: GulfCoastTider at February 22, 2010 04:02 PM (bv1hq)

42 Simple oil change and cleaning the plugs.

Posted by: Jean at February 22, 2010 04:05 PM (CPefM)

43 Hot dog! First (and probaboy my last) post on the wife's brand new netbook I'm just now setting up.

Posted by: maddogg at February 22, 2010 04:05 PM (lQT2m)

44 Hmm, Ace is missing and now Cheney goes to the hospital?

Next thing you'll tell me that the USA beat Canada in hockey.

THE END is near!

Posted by: Kemp at February 22, 2010 04:06 PM (2+9Yx)

Thanks for playin' but we have a thread winner!

10 Probably just indigestion from chewing Obama's ass too much.

Posted by: skye at February 22, 2010 04:06 PM (HwMXR)

46 And he's also hand-loading his own ammo at the same time...

Posted by: GuyfromNH at February 22, 2010 04:07 PM (GWXuo)

47 26 Get well soon. You are my favorite Dick.

Thanks a lot assholes.

Posted by: Zombie Dick Nixon at February 22, 2010 04:08 PM (2+9Yx)

48 Forget the Cougar, Cheney uses Keyser Soze as a condom.

Posted by: Sharkman at February 22, 2010 04:08 PM (Zj8fM)

49 And he's also hand-loading his own ammo at the same time...

We used to call it flogging the dolphin back in the day.

Posted by: David in San Diego at February 22, 2010 04:09 PM (GF+6V)

50 Must be time for a new Fussion Power Cell and Secret Internal Titanium Armor Plating Suit.

Posted by: Jimi at February 22, 2010 04:13 PM (fqxV7)

51 The Hillbuzz guys love dick.

Posted by: mghorning at February 22, 2010 04:14 PM (tn5kD)

52 Lynne Cheney's happy. For the first time in months she won't be walking with a limp

FYKWIMAITYD

Posted by: Frank G at February 22, 2010 04:15 PM (4X0aT)

53 The alien keeps trying to bust out of him, and he keeps tapping his sternum and chuckling, "Oh no ya don't, little fella."

Posted by: arhooley at February 22, 2010 04:17 PM (LrI1R)

Cheney: "Quit dicking around and give me those damned paddles. CLEAR!"

Posted by: 48%er at February 22, 2010 04:18 PM (gxpfq)

55 Best of wishes to the Cheney Family!!!

Posted by: mghorning at February 22, 2010 04:19 PM (tn5kD)

56 Prayers for Dick Cheney and his family. We need him! He has been an absolute warrior for what's right. I think every time he has one of these incidents, the lefty blogosphere starts laying money down in their death pools. You better believe that every leftard is out there praying to whatever god they pray to (Gaia, Satan, whatever) that this could be the day that Cheney doesn't walk out of the hospital. I can just see them rubbing their hands with glee.

Posted by: runningrn at February 22, 2010 04:21 PM (CfmlF)

57 WTF is with ORLY and that shitpiece Juan Williams? Why the hell do I watch this show?

OT, yes.

Posted by: yambles at February 22, 2010 04:22 PM (rxaXW)

58

Rumor has it, House was so shaken he had to take the rest of the week off after accidentally running across "The Night Of The Sodomizing Cougar Man" story on the internet while researching Cheney's condition

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 04:24 PM (t72+4)

59 I think Cheney's just taking a break to come up with new material that will force Obummer to send Sheriff Joe to the Sunday shows to defend the administration demonstrate what friggin' fools the 52 percenters voted for in '08.

Posted by: Reiver at February 22, 2010 04:27 PM (Q6Rx0)

60 Just a power shortage in DC; they'll get Cheney hooked up to the paddles and reverse the polarity and the town will be hummin' soon.

Posted by: Askmom at February 22, 2010 04:28 PM (9NGSN)

It looks like they did an angiogram & the results indicate the possibility of additional treatment tomorrow. They say they don't have an exact plan right now. WTF? What do they mean they don't have a plan? Wouldn't the angiogram give them some kind of idea what they need to do?

Better decide on a freakin' plan, stat! We need this man!

Praying for Cheney & his family...and the damn doctors!

Posted by: Steph at February 22, 2010 04:28 PM (IKebC)

62 Hate to take you kids off topic, but Drudge is reporting Harry Read has threatened to beat the crap out of his wife if he isn't re-elected.

(at least that is what i took from the headline...someone should look into it)

Posted by: The Central Scrutinzer at February 22, 2010 04:29 PM (yjXmi)

Jack Bauer is in the room, holding his hand, "Don't Die, Obie Wan Cheney. We need you."

"Fuck off, you pussy."

Posted by: Tommy Gunnar at February 22, 2010 04:30 PM (rQTdM)

64 Nothing to worry about. Cheney's defibrillator paddles have to be hooked up to the large hadron collider, that's all.

Posted by: OregonMuse at February 22, 2010 04:30 PM (JkUVD)

65 I just hope that too many of the nurses don't get a gander at Cheney's Penisaurus Rex. It would spoil the gals for the rest of us.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 22, 2010 04:30 PM (9IHmo)

WTF is with ORLY and that shitpiece Juan Williams? Why the hell do I watch this show?

OT, yes.

I hate oreilly with the same passion I hate Olbermann. I wish I got Fox Business Network because I want to watch Stossel at 8. I just don't want to pay the extra money to get that one channel.

however I don;t mind juan williams. he is a reasonable democrat. i disagree with him on most everything, but i don't hate him like i do beckel or o'donnell

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 04:31 PM (qVmY7)

67 OMG! Another Ace sighting: http://tinypic.com/r/9jkpxh/6

Posted by: conscious and found Ace again at February 22, 2010 04:32 PM (Vu6sl)

68
Hate to take you kids off topic, but Drudge is reporting Harry Read has threatened to beat the crap out of his wife if he isn't re-elected.

(at least that is what i took from the headline...someone should look into it)

Posted by: The Central Scrutinzer at February 22, 2010 08:29 PM (yjXmi)

He'll get to test out that theory of his in about 9 months.

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 04:32 PM (t72+4)

69 Bill Nay on O'Reilly right now debating a Global Warming skeptic

Posted by: YRM at February 22, 2010 04:32 PM (rbtaB)

70 I think it's funny that O'Reilly is suddenly jumping on the Manmade Global Warming is a fraud train after years of endorsing the idea

Nay says the evidence is "overwhelming"

Posted by: YRM at February 22, 2010 04:33 PM (rbtaB)

71 @ 61 Steph: They are probably going to do an echo and doppler and will go from there. Any data from the cardioverter will be looked at too.

I hope he is all right.

Posted by: GT at February 22, 2010 04:34 PM (Vyrg6)

72 the Accuwheater guy is really hitting Bill hard

Posted by: YRM at February 22, 2010 04:35 PM (rbtaB)

73 the guy even has charts to combat the talking points

Posted by: YRM at February 22, 2010 04:35 PM (rbtaB)

74 Fox Reporting Dick Cheney at GW Hospital, Resting Comfortably. Cheney's Cock Standing Guard at the Door.

FTFY

Posted by: Andy at February 22, 2010 04:36 PM (f1o8E)

So someone is collecting his sperm as we speak, right?

Not the job I would want, but I'd be eternally grateful to whoever could take it upon themselves to get the job done here.

That will be all.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 22, 2010 04:37 PM (zuPCf)

72 the Accuwheater guy is really hitting Bill hard

Which weather guy? That crazy dude with the snowy exuberance? I'd love to see that debate.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnar at February 22, 2010 04:37 PM (rQTdM)

77 BOR cares about BOR's ratings and that is it. I can't stand him or his show.

Posted by: kefka at February 22, 2010 04:39 PM (n1uMU)

78
You mean Bill Nye the Moonbat Guy ?

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 04:39 PM (t72+4)

79 @76: Ya, Dick VILL give me his sperm!

Posted by: Helga, Shewolf Head Nurse of the Nazis at February 22, 2010 04:40 PM (9IHmo)

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 08:39 PM (t72+4)

yep

Posted by: YRM at February 22, 2010 04:41 PM (rbtaB)

81 I always hated Bill Nye.

Now I know why - he's another creation of Lord Hades and you-know-who.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 22, 2010 04:41 PM (otlXg)

82 Bill Nye. Fucking Bill Nye. BILL NYE!!!! I can't believe for a second that anyone would take what he has to say seriously. I mean... you might as well have a kindergarten teacher on to debate. What the hell, man.

Posted by: yambles at February 22, 2010 04:41 PM (rxaXW)

Bill Nye looks like a walking corpse. In other words, I's scared.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 22, 2010 04:42 PM (zuPCf)

84 We need an aircraft carrier named The Mighty Warcock. I believe the next Ford-class planned, CVN-79, is still unnamed...

Posted by: The Highland Pipes at February 22, 2010 04:42 PM (/LlVk)

85 O'Reilly is a tool. He was a buffoon when he was with the tabloid news show years ago and is a buffoon now. Also, in person without what must be copious stage makeup, he looks like an albino catcher's mitt.

Posted by: GT at February 22, 2010 04:42 PM (Vyrg6)

Although Cheney is resting, his mental powers are at full capacity. You may notice when the couple's figure skaters suddenly run into the walls at full speed.

Posted by: Cincinnatus at February 22, 2010 04:43 PM (euuyg)

87 Wouldn't that be Mrs. Cheney's job, lacey?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 22, 2010 04:43 PM (9IHmo)

88 84 Bill Nye looks like a walking corpse. In other words, I's scared.

This is what a human looks like when they lack a soul. Will this be incentive to turn from your evil soul-stealing ways?

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 22, 2010 04:44 PM (otlXg)

89 So someone is collecting his sperm as we speak, right?

They're putting on their flame-retardant suits I understand, in case the cougar skin breaks.

Posted by: arhooley at February 22, 2010 04:44 PM (LrI1R)

90 At least with Cheney in the hospital, I'll have one less dick to worry about.

Posted by: The Chicken at February 22, 2010 04:46 PM (2+9Yx)

Damn never noticed what a smug douche Nye is.

i did. i got the green channel free for a week and checked out Ed Begley Jr's show. Anyway in one episode he visted his neighbor, bill nye, because they always competed on who could be greener. Kind of like how there is an unspoken competition between my neighbor and I over who has the most well kept yard.

Posted by: Ben at February 22, 2010 04:46 PM (qVmY7)

92 87

Although Cheney is resting, his mental powers are at full capacity. You may notice when the couple's figure skaters suddenly run into the walls at full speed

Ahh, that would explain the US victory over Canaduh.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnar at February 22, 2010 04:46 PM (rQTdM)

89 Sigh.

So what am I supposed to do? Get surgery so you all can call me larry as opposed to lacey?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at February 22, 2010 04:47 PM (zuPCf)

94 Bill Nye is a babysitter who chats about sciencey stuff for NPR. There is no resemblance between him and, you know, someone interested in reproducible, falsifiable predictions based on freely available empirical evidence. Patriotism is the last refuge of a climate hysteric.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 04:50 PM (AZGON)

95 86 O'Reilly is a tool. He was a buffoon when he was with the tabloid news show years ago and is a buffoon now. Also, in person without what must be copious stage makeup, he looks like an albino catcher's mitt.

I love this video of O'Reilly.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 22, 2010 04:50 PM (otlXg)

96 how does a mechanical engineer get to be the spokesman for AGW on OR?

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, and Buckets of Scorn for the Left at February 22, 2010 04:51 PM (erIg9)

97 99 To be fair, O'RLY took the Limbaugh beating like a man.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at February 22, 2010 08:51 PM (BiCQw)

did he say "thank you sir, may I have another?"

Posted by: Unclefacts, Summoner of Meteors, and Buckets of Scorn for the Left at February 22, 2010 04:52 PM (erIg9)

98 You know how Dick Cheney keeps his doctors in line and on their best? "You want me in good health and out of here. You don't want me around long enough to make friends. I invite my friends to go hunting. And don't forget... Lynne is watching."

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 04:53 PM (AZGON)

99 Ed Begley Jr. and Bill Nye together? The Mangina Monologues huh?

Posted by: Frank G at February 22, 2010 04:54 PM (4X0aT)

100 71 @ 61 Steph: They are probably going to do an echo and doppler and will go from there. Any data from the cardioverter will be looked at too.

I hope he is all right.

Posted by: GT at February 22, 2010 08:34 PM (Vyrg6)

Thanks for that, GT, but honestly, I'd rather they not say they don't have a plan, yet. All I want to know is that Cheney is going to be fine.

I heart that man, and always have.

Posted by: Steph at February 22, 2010 04:55 PM (IKebC)

101

Drudge is reporting Harry Read has threatened to beat the crap out of his wife if he isn't re-elected.

Mmm, I think it's more of an excuse to whip Reynaldo his Portuguese pool boy. I'm picturing Harry holding a riding crop and wearing a spike-studded leather vest, assless chaps and cowboy boots.

God, I need help.

Posted by: ErikW at February 22, 2010 04:55 PM (EOvYt)

102
To be fair, O'RLY took the Limbaugh beating like a man.

Posted by: Blackford Oakes at February 22, 2010 08:51 PM (BiCQw)

He knows which side his bread is buttered on.

Posted by: Blazer at February 22, 2010 04:55 PM (t72+4)

103 Just switched on oreally without the sound. someone today said he doesn't let his guests get a word in edge wise. Not true, BO got to say all he wanted and o'really genuflected....cause he was the only one honored with an interview.
what I want to know is this, who is his plastic surgeon?

Posted by: curious at February 22, 2010 04:55 PM (p302b)

104

Thanks. Got everything under control.

BTW, GWH needs another wing for... eh... storage.

Posted by: Dick Cheney's cock at February 22, 2010 04:56 PM (LwWtU)

105 I propose we chain Ed Begley Very Jr. and Bill Nye the Hysteria Guy to a redwood in the Sequoia National Forest. Romance will be in the air, about eighty feet above the ground, tied to a branch with one hundred pounds of high tensile chain.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 04:56 PM (AZGON)

106 #94 So what am I supposed to do? Get surgery so you all can call me larry as opposed to lacey?

You'd do that for little old me? Oh my, lol.

Seriously, I don't think all women are soul eaters. Just most of them. And if you're on here, I guess I could cut you some slack...

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 22, 2010 04:57 PM (otlXg)

107 "Sodomizing Cougar Man." Cheney sodomized Demi Moore?

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 22, 2010 04:57 PM (9IHmo)

108 That's terrible to hear. wow, he and bill finally have something in common, sent to the hospital with chest pains in the same month.

Posted by: curious at February 22, 2010 04:58 PM (p302b)

109 #110 Cheney sodomized Demi Moore?

Even better - Courtney Cox.

Posted by: Kratos (on the back of Gaia, scaling Mt Olympus) at February 22, 2010 04:59 PM (otlXg)

110 Honestly, why doesn't CNN make a fat cash offer to woo spinmaster O'RLY to their channel? They could use the ratings boost, and they don't have to worry about Bill saying anything conservative. He'll likely give Barry and assorted Demotards a tongue bath. In fact the only thing that would stop him would be his aching need to bloviate, which can be difficult while blowing your guest.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:01 PM (AZGON)

111 Cheney's doctors examining his MRI: "My God... it's full of Death Stars!"

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:04 PM (AZGON)

112

On all of the Dick Cheney comments, I stand humbled in your collective presence - you guys are just too funny for words!

Mr. Cheney, get well soon - we need you back out there fighting for our side...

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at February 22, 2010 05:05 PM (Vd3Vk)

113 Breaking News (Fox): Cheney just sodomized the nurse as she turned around to empty his bed pan. And he didn't even get up out of bed.

Posted by: CoolCzech at February 22, 2010 05:09 PM (9IHmo)

114 Much luck and healing to Darth Cheney!

Posted by: Sekhmet at February 22, 2010 05:13 PM (bKGdf)

115

Honestly, why doesn't CNN make a fat cash offer to woo spinmaster O'RLY to their channel?

Fox could make it easier by buying his contract and giving the slot to Breitbart.

Posted by: ErikW at February 22, 2010 05:14 PM (EOvYt)

116 Breaking News (Fox): Cheney just sodomized the nurse as she turned around to empty his bed pan. And he didn't even get up out of bed. You forgot to mention that the nurse was on another floor of the hospital with the bed pan, at the time.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:14 PM (AZGON)

117 It's a demanding job carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders while simultaneously wielding the +5 magic warcock. Cheney has chest pains - a normal man would be utterly crushed into jelly, all his bones broken. Even now he is, no doubt, planning his next move...

Posted by: Reactionary at February 22, 2010 05:17 PM (4nbyM)

118 Maybe it was his antics with the ostrich in the earlier poultry thread. Anyway, I hope he gets better soon (and the ostrich, too.)

Posted by: bergerbilder at February 22, 2010 05:23 PM (S1Ttj)

119 Phew... that was close.

Posted by: Grim Reaper at February 22, 2010 05:26 PM (YX6i/)

120 It used no predictable tactics in its dedicated, unconscious war against liberals. The ancient, unknown gamesmen had built it as a random factor, to be loosed in the enemyÂ’s territory to do what damage it might. Men thought its plan of battle was chosen by the random disintegrations of atoms in a block of some long-lived isotope buried deep inside it, and so was not even in theory predictable by opposing brains, human or electronic. Men called it a Cheney. --from "Stuff Fred Saberhagen Might Have Written Instead Of 'Berserker,' Had He Met Dick Cheney"

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:26 PM (AZGON)

121 That's fantastic, Mr. Orwell. Praise be upon you.

Posted by: Tommy Gunnar at February 22, 2010 05:28 PM (rQTdM)

122

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 09:26 PM (AZGON)

I did not see a Saberhagen reference coming. The first sentence immediately brought him to mind! Well done, sir.

Posted by: Reactionary at February 22, 2010 05:29 PM (4nbyM)

123

94 So what am I supposed to do? Get surgery so you all can call me larry as opposed to lacey?

yes

its cheaper to buy you a pair of nikes and a beer than 7&7s and a pair of stompy boots

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 22, 2010 05:30 PM (mpB3q)

124 122 Maybe it was his antics with the ostrich in the earlier poultry thread. Anyway, I hope he gets better soon (and the ostrich, too.) Posted by: bergerbilder at February 22, 2010 09:23 PM (S1Ttj) Can I borrow some Preparation H?

Posted by: Ostrich at February 22, 2010 05:30 PM (9IHmo)

125 #85 Supercarrier (unnamed) Don't bet on this being built. I read (sorry, no link) that Obama gave verbal orders restricting all warcraft larger than a destroyer to be cancelled. I think he doesn't want us to have anything larger than what the Iranians are building.

Posted by: mystry at February 22, 2010 05:32 PM (kmgIE)

126 Can I borrow some Preparation H? Posted by: Ostrich Dick Cheney uses Zyklon B.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:32 PM (AZGON)

127

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 22, 2010 09:30 PM (mpB3q)

I think you go too far - sometimes aesthetics must trump cost efficiency.

Posted by: Reactionary at February 22, 2010 05:33 PM (4nbyM)

128 anyone read Love Conquers All? Haven't read that. Apart from the Berserker stuff, The Holmes-Dracula File was pure awesome. I have others but haven't read them yet.

Posted by: George Orwell at February 22, 2010 05:35 PM (AZGON)

129

132 I think you go too far - sometimes aesthetics must trump cost efficiency.

i have two words to prove that wrong

MY WIFE

Posted by: navycopjoe at February 22, 2010 05:51 PM (mpB3q)

130 Cheney supposedly greeted Chuck Norris with a "Whats Up Pussy?" when he stopped by to visit.

Posted by: Dick_Nixon at February 22, 2010 06:06 PM (IdLZy)

131 Cheney/Norris '12!!!!!

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, TX at February 22, 2010 06:49 PM (Vd3Vk)

132

"I'll bet the comments at DU and KOS are little different than when Billy went to the hospital recently."

Give that contestant a kewpie doll!

Posted by: Carnival shill at February 22, 2010 09:05 PM (ucq49)

133 Hmmmm, Boing has a laser and now Dick is in the hospital. I question the timing. http://tinyurl.com/yjqyhwl

He's going to get a laser installed on it, isn't he? Then he'll be Dick Cheney, aka Dick Laser. Just point and shoot.

Posted by: Thea at February 22, 2010 09:08 PM (/3dGX)

134

Speaking of naming a ship for Cheney, did you see the new Iranian "destroyer", AKA Target Practice for Coasties? Dinner Jacket gave it some mumbo-jumbo jihad name as a formality, but the troops call it the USS Obama. I say give it to Cheney as a bath toy, it will cheer him up.

Posted by: Askmom at February 22, 2010 10:01 PM (9NGSN)

135 If I knew how, I'd gladly delete all this spam.

Posted by: hereswidhing at February 23, 2010 12:36 AM (ucq49)

136 @122 That could't have been Cheney with the ostrich. He usually uses one of these http://tinyurl.com/46y3p2 or these http://tinyurl.com/yzfoc5a -- he keeps them in a private compound for when he runs out of cougars.

Posted by: Two Illiterate Scrunts at February 23, 2010 05:48 AM (UOcNk)

137 @147 - sorry - damn sockpuppet got stuck

Posted by: RightWingProf at February 23, 2010 05:49 AM (UOcNk)

138 Pumas and Mexican whores (whom call him "El asesino loco del puma") rest easy tonite....

Posted by: IP Freely at February 23, 2010 10:43 AM (67aEn)

139

Dang - need the link for the Tour-de-force past posting of Dick Cheney's romp in the Mexican bordello he calls "last Thursday"....

Anybody got it???

Posted by: IP Freely at February 23, 2010 10:52 AM (67aEn)

140 Best wishes to the Cheney Family...That said, these comments are the Awesome!!

Best. Thread. Ever.

Posted by: DanB at February 23, 2010 11:07 AM (+6BEw)

141 @150 IP Freely

Try this one...

http://ace.mu.nu/archives/140837.php