Ace of Spades HQ

September 03, 2010

Friday Flame War!
— Ace

Because sometimes you have to get out the bad blood.

Okay, the rules are this is supposed to be funny so no like real, genuine attacks on people.

A little flame music:

Posted by: Ace at 11:06 AM | Comments (969)
Post contains 38 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Yea, says who?

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 03, 2010 11:07 AM (ndlFj)

2 Submitted: Most of you tongue-punch dogs in their fart-boxes.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:07 AM (QbA6l)

3 I hate people who yell "first" on a new thread.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at September 03, 2010 11:07 AM (pOcKt)

4 I'm too poor to flame anyone

Posted by: Sam at September 03, 2010 11:07 AM (Cxsey)

5 never mind....I thought I was going to be first.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at September 03, 2010 11:08 AM (pOcKt)

6 never mind....I thought I was going to be first.

That's what she said!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at September 03, 2010 11:08 AM (ndlFj)

7 If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

Posted by: elspeth at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (0AkWH)

8 Here, I'll get this started with a little College Football trolling:

How do you get a Michigan fan to stop masturbating?

Easy - paint his dick scarlet and grey, he won't be able to beat it for 6 years.

7 years in November. GO BUCKEYES

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (UMwMT)

9 can we really flame the Regime^tm?

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (pOcKt)

10 You're all worthless and weak.

Posted by: exceller at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (Z7Znk)

11

Flame?

These cousin-fucking yokels can't even string a sentence together.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (uFokq)

I ain't sorry 'bout nuttin' 'cept bein' sorry, bitches.

Posted by: Levi's Johnson at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (sYL3l)

13 >>>6 never mind....I thought I was going to be first.

>>That's what she said!

No, that's what I said to your mother.

Posted by: wooga at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (2p0e3)

14 Yeah... about this "First!" thing. It's not good. It's not good. Anyone who says "First!" -- and 90% of the time, you're not even fucking first -- is a retard twice over. People who say "First!" on threads are like people who get fucking excited to see their names printed on their TV Guide address label. Or who read TV Guide.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:09 AM (QbA6l)

15 Ace, if your posts were like trampolines, you'd only get jumped on by little kids.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:10 AM (UMwMT)

16 2 Submitted: Most of you tongue-punch dogs in their fart-boxes.

Yeah, well Ace, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on it's original trajectory and adheres to you.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:10 AM (9hSKh)

17 Gee, what a terrific thread, later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other...

Posted by: conservativeinthecity at September 03, 2010 11:10 AM (JourR)

18 Well played dfbaskwill, well played.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at September 03, 2010 11:10 AM (pOcKt)

19 or who look at the pictures of in TV Guide, of a Where Are They Now? article on Facts of Life.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:10 AM (QbA6l)

20 And by the way Ace, you and your cobloggers are petty and pathetic and your "rule" is weak.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (9hSKh)

21 First!

Posted by: Joe "The Sheriff" Biden at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (5aa4z)

22 Is that a Twisted Sister pin on your uniform?!

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (yhlnw)

23 First

Posted by: Hobo Underground at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (+sBB4)

24 Okay, the rules are this is supposed to be funny so no like real, genuine attacks on people. Posted by: Ace at 03:06 PM OK, so how 'bout overgrown ewoks with a viagra addiction?

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (tJjm/)

25 Friday? Never heard of it.

Posted by: Charlie Gibson (ret) at September 03, 2010 11:11 AM (sYL3l)

26 I'm not addicted. I can stop whenever I want.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:12 AM (QbA6l)

27
The only flames we can get from you is when your brains are overloading when you repetitious retards try to formulate an original thought in the comment threads.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at September 03, 2010 11:12 AM (uFokq)

28 If you have ever seen my cousin you wouldn't be saying that there was anything WRONG with that. And who you callin' a yokel?

Posted by: Johnson's Levis at September 03, 2010 11:12 AM (wOGfT)

29 It's a well known fact that Morons who use more than one word in their screen name are pretentious, preening, attention hogging bastards, who's disease-ridden mothers let them suck the teet for 3 years too long. This is especially true of those who periodically change that name for reasons other than sock puppeting. They're the kind who, not content with traditional, moral hobo hunting instead insist upon sexually violating the corpse, and don't even clean the meat before cooking it, or eating it raw as they more often do (hense the parasitic infections of the bowel). Disgustings scrunts, every one of them.

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 11:12 AM (xUM1Q)

30 17 Gee, what a terrific thread, later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other...

Really? Pretty please?!

As I always say, the deader the better.

Posted by: denny crane the necrophilac at September 03, 2010 11:12 AM (9hSKh)

31 Racists!!!

Oh wait...liberals already did that one.

Posted by: Travis at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (qrn/w)

32 I looked at TV guide once. Right after I finished watching Ace's mom smoke a post-coital cigarette.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (UMwMT)

33 Ultimate Fighting is nothing but 20 minutes of sweaty crotch punching. There I said it.

Posted by: Solo4357 at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (FY+nO)

34 I heart you all.

Posted by: laceyunderalls not following directions at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (pLTLS)

35 Y'all are about as funny as Mary Worth.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (yhlnw)

Where is my Poodding....I can't find my Poodding!

I want Poodding!

I need Pooding!

Jimi like Poodding!

Posted by: Jimi at September 03, 2010 11:13 AM (fqxV7)

37 http://tinyurl.com/27p7bt5 Gotta share this. Oh this is wonderful. Jesse JacksonÂ’s Cadillac Escalade was stolen and stripped in, of course, Detroit, while he was in town to promote green government jobs. HAHAHAHA. So whatÂ’s better, that he shows his concern for global warming by driving a fat ass suv, or that the thugs of Detroit stole his car? I just wish theyÂ’d taken his wallet too. IÂ’m kinda likinÂ’ Detroit right now. Maybe someone there could do us all a favor and mug Al Sharpton.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (uiyhQ)

38 Such and such about women from not-Korea but no insults about mothers because that's simply too disrespectful.

Posted by: Tom In Korea at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (+gX1+)

39 14 Yeah... about this "First!" thing.

It's not good. It's not good.

Anyone who says "First!" -- and 90% of the time, you're not even fucking first -- is a retard twice over.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:09 PM (QbA6l)

Yeah, well, if you don't like it, maybe you should start numbering your comment threads starting with #2!

Posted by: Flames for first time, Howm I doin? at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (Nkd+T)

40 I heart you all.

Posted by: laceyunderalls not following directions at September 03, 2010 03:13 PM (pLTLS)

Yeah, you and Obama both. I feel better now.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (fwSHf)

41 Jesus could make the lame walk, but he couldn't make you people flame worth a damn.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (No0N3)

42 Drives me fucking nuts when people on here that have met in real life, chat about stuff unrelated to topics...send each other emails..dammit..

Posted by: beerologist at September 03, 2010 11:14 AM (gNzDf)

43
Any semen on leave?

You get semen on leaves by beating around the bush.

Posted by: Yunger Confusionist at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (rMMMP)

44 I heart you all.

I fuckt you all.

Posted by: Precedent Fershizzle at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (5aa4z)

45 Only someone who's still attached to their mama's apron strings would post something like that, #39...

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (UMwMT)

46 2 Submitted: Most of you tongue-punch dogs in their fart-boxes.

That's nothing to be ashamed of you know.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (IqfKc)

47 You're not even worth nuttin' on.

Posted by: Wickett Althouse at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (fLHQe)

48 44 Any semen on leave? You get semen on leaves by beating around the bush. Posted by: Yunger Confusionist at September 03, 2010 03:15 PM (rMMMP) Come, come, now!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:15 AM (tJjm/)

49
Ace, you're not funny. I know funny and you ain't it.

Drew, you just suck in general.

Genghis, you've made me somehow appreciate Maetenloch, damn you for that.

Gabriel, I wouldn't waste my spit on you.

Geoff......too charty. And gay.

Dave, I stopped reading your posts 2 years ago. Best move I've made in 2 years.

Purple, meh.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (xtAfO)

50 Answer: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.
Question: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (+sBB4)

51 I not going to waste AAA insults on a bunch of clownless idiots.

Posted by: Comrade Arthur at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (eyHnk)

52 PFBPFFBPFFTHPFFBBBTH!

Tho there ya buncha moronthh!

Posted by: TheresaD raspberries in your general direction at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (K9XK2)

53 36 - That nosy bitch got nothing on those sluts in Apt. 3G.

Posted by: BigDaddy1964 at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (pOcKt)

54 36 Y'all are about as funny as Mary Worth.

Oh, go bury yourself in elephant feces. All you radishes have a serious scat-fetish.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (9hSKh)

55 He who reads these words of wit may eat a banana split

Posted by: the kid at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (Adg3a)

56 If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach him to walk backwards.
[yes, I know it's old, but 9 year olds still think it is funny, and considering the theme...]

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (DTfXb)

57 Y'all are about as funny as Mary Worth.

..

Posted by: Henry at September 03, 2010 11:16 AM (5aa4z)

58 Your posts smell like elderberries, your logic makes Obama look like a flippin' genious, and you couldn't flame hard enough to melt room temperature ice cream!

Nyah!
Nyah!
Nyah
Nyah
NYAAAAAAAAAAH!

_{Ia Nyarolthotep!}

Posted by: DarkLordOfTheIntarWebs at September 03, 2010 11:17 AM (IkEhE)

Ace's Ban-Hammer is so small he can 'Birth the Puppy' in a Jell-O Pudding cup and still not bottom out.

Look it up, Bitches.

Posted by: garrett at September 03, 2010 11:17 AM (eeEfs)

60 #46

Show some respect for Tom's mom. She's definitely worth the money.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (formerly NJConservative) at September 03, 2010 11:17 AM (LH6ir)

61 36 Y'all are about as funny as Mary Worth. Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 03:13 PM (yhlnw) Heather dear, where would you like your panties mailed to? We're tired of the pile on our bedroom floor.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:17 AM (tJjm/)

Sure, I'll flame you.

But first you will blow me.

Posted by: Mr. Dave at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (pcJe3)

63 Ooooh Look!........A HoBo......Get'em!

Posted by: Jimi at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (fqxV7)

64 19 or who look at the pictures of in TV Guide, of a Where Are They Now? article on Facts of Life.

So what is "Blair" up to.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (IqfKc)

65 Hi, I'm Ace. I'm too damn lazy to put up a 6 page essay - which none of you morons will read anyways - about some random concern troll who just popped up here. So make up your damn content while I go play with Allah at some slightly homo-erotic play about shoes or under-dressed cowboys.

Posted by: Not Really Ace at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (IhQuA)

66 James Jay Lee was a member of the Al 'Chakra' Martyrs Brigades.

Posted by: negentropy at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (27KAF)

67 I crap bigger than all of you worthless pukes! Ya, jack wagons!

Posted by: Jeff at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (sLsYI)

68 Your mother dresses you like the FKOTUS.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (yhlnw)

69 My radishes? Heather has them in her purse.

Posted by: HeathersHusbad at September 03, 2010 11:18 AM (tJjm/)

A: Until he gets caught.
Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (+sBB4)

71 If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach him to walk backwards.

Then you would be tongue-punching the wrong end.

Posted by: Johnson's Levis at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (wOGfT)

72 People who say "First!" on threads are like people who get fucking excited to see their names printed on their TV Guide address label.

Or who read TV Guide.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:09 PM (QbA6l)

Now we know where ace get's his ideas for his commentary

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (fwSHf)

73 CoolCzech--As if. Not with Elena Kagan's dick, no matter how much you beg for it.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (yhlnw)

74 We're tired of the pile on our bedroom floor.

You share the basement with your brother, or something?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:19 AM (5aa4z)

75 People who scream Threadwinner !!11! should be banned, then raped.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (xtAfO)

76 It's hard to set up in an internet post - but once on the Gong Show the Unknown Comic set up Chuck Barris like this:

UC:Hey Chuck, have you ever made love to your wife in the shower?
CB: No
UC: Well you should, she really enjoys that.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (UMwMT)

77 Hey, Ace, who are you fighting with on Twitter? They aren't answering, or is this like the old guy yelling at clouds?

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (DTfXb)

Flame this sucka!

[bent over with cheeks spread]

Posted by: Jimi at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (fqxV7)

79 All ya sumbitches, get off my lawn. And feel free to get bent!

Posted by: jfalcon, the bewildered, in Vegas at September 03, 2010 11:20 AM (lPu+Z)

80 #77 You share the basement with your brother, or something?

No, you silly goose, he shares it with me!

Ever hear of a WoW party?

Posted by: Palin Steele (formerly, the biggest emo git evar on AoSHQ) at September 03, 2010 11:21 AM (9hSKh)

How do you people get internet in the trailer parks? Dial up?

Posted by: dagny at September 03, 2010 11:21 AM (X6Xr+)

82 61 #46

Show some respect for Tom's mom. She's definitely worth the money.

She only charges guys with really small penises; everyone else is free.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (IqfKc)

83 >>>Hey, Ace, who are you fighting with on Twitter? They aren't answering, or is this like the old guy yelling at clouds? Because I don't want to do it here, because I like you simpletons. I try to keep things simple here for the tapioca-tuesday crowd.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (QbA6l)

84 Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (yhlnw) You weren't that particular with Rosie O'Donnel.

Posted by: HeathersHusbad at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (tJjm/)

85 After last night, I realize that CoolCzech and many of the other Y-chrom morons are complete and utter feminazis. In the interest of purity! I can no longer speak with any of them lest I be contaminated by their bra-burning fanaticism.

Posted by: Y-not at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (osFsP)

86 Posted by: HeathersHusbadCats

FIFY.

Kinda sad when I can flame myself better than anyone else.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (yhlnw)

87 Couldn't we have just made this a Charles Johnson shred thread? Those are the best!

Posted by: JDW at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (uw+0A)

88 Off, flaming sockpuppet!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (tJjm/)

89 How do you people get internet in the trailer parks?

Stimulus.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (5aa4z)

90 People who say "First!" on threads are like people who get fucking excited to see their names printed on their TV Guide address label.

Or who read TV Guide.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:09 PM

That's a fucking low blow, ace.

In short, it matches your standard for gratuitous attacks on Our National Institutions.

So much for me making you my Reader's Digest "Most Unforgettable Character...."

P.S.: People who write "first!" in the comments should be sentenced to be ripped apart by rabid weasels and then boiled alive in vats of Valu-Rite. Or should be forced to read Parade magazine for the rest of their unnatural lives.

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 11:22 AM (Ulu3i)

91 Tonight, the spoiled-brat commnenters threw a temper tantrum.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (QbA6l)

92 81

Flame this sucka!

[bent over with cheeks spread]

You find yourself in that position a lot don't you.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (IqfKc)

93 27 I'm not addicted. I can stop whenever I want.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:12 PM (QbA6l)

Quit whenever you want?!??!? You can't even restrain yourself from doing it twice!

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (/0IOT)

94 [shuffles up to the keyboard] "You guys having a flame war?"

Posted by: Flounder at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (2g2ex)

95 74 If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach him to walk backwards.

Then you would be tongue-punching the wrong end
-------

You speak with the voice of experience

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (DTfXb)

96 Kinda sad when I ~~can flame~~ pleasure myself ~~better~~ more than anyone else. Posted by: HeatherRadish at September 03, 2010 03:22 PM (yhlnw) FTFY

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:23 AM (tJjm/)

97 You know what I hate? Stepping on a flame-war with a new post.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (xtAfO)

98 Stimulus.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 03:22 PM (5aa4z)

I thought that was your goats name

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (fwSHf)

99 In the interest of purity! I can no longer speak with any of them lest I be contaminated by their bra-burning fanaticism.

Boobie pics would really drive your point home here. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (5aa4z)

100

>> Tonight, the spoiled-brat commnenters threw a temper tantrum.

Tonight? Where you been, fiddling with the redundant post generator?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (WvXvd)

101 74 If I had a dog with a face like yours, I'd shave its butt and teach him to walk backwards. Hey! That's MY act!!

Posted by: Helen Thomas at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (tJjm/)

102 Then you would be tongue-punching the wrong end ------- You speak with the voice of experience

So he thinks poodles are sexy. NTTAWWT

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:24 AM (UMwMT)

103 The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (QbA6l)

104 Eat a bag of dicks, you half-bitch cock-fags.

Posted by: JDW at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (uw+0A)

105 102 You know what I hate? Stepping on a flame-war with a new post. Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 03:24 PM (xtAfO) Blow Me.

Posted by: Helen Thomas at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (tJjm/)

106

A: Rub-a-dub-dub.
Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (+sBB4)

107 102 You know what I hate? Stepping on a flame-war with a new post.

You know what I hate even more? The git who thinks that's a clever thing to do...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (9hSKh)

108 I thought that was your goats name

Fuck you. THAT'S my name.

Posted by: HM's Goat at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (5aa4z)

109
And why do you red-assed baboons always whine for a new post when alls you do is talk about the same random shit in every thread?

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at September 03, 2010 11:25 AM (uFokq)

110 Boobie pics would really drive your point home here. Just sayin'.

Go ahead. No one's stopping you from posting your moob pix.

Posted by: Y-not at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (osFsP)

111 Wow, #109, you're so witty that if funny comments were a video game I'd never let go of your joystick.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (UMwMT)

112 What the FUCK is this weak-ass shit? None of you pigfuckers could write a decent flame if your lives depended on it. You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if there were instructions printed on the heel. And you smell like a toilet that's gone unflushed for so long that there's mold growing in the stale piss contained within. Jesus tapdancing Christ on a pogo-stick, Raykon and DumDum came up with better insults than you Deliverance-extras.

Also, it's nice to see that Ace was able do drag himself out of Allahpundit's ghey love nest before four in the fucking afternoon. Fuckin cockholster.

Posted by: ol_dirty_/b/tard at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (Fg/7E)

113 108 The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid.
-----
Ooh, another voice of experience?

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (DTfXb)

114 You know those people who can't help but mention they've been to another country every ten minutes? They're annoying. Yet not as annoying as your mother.

Because your mother is a Kirk/Castle loving RINO. She gets off on the tusks.

Posted by: Tom In Korea at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (+gX1+)

115 You wear Mom jeans and have a bell on your bike!

Posted by: President Billy Ray Valentine at September 03, 2010 11:26 AM (3PqHz)

116 What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

Describe it to the press.

Posted by: Al Gore, Enabler of Asian Terrorists at September 03, 2010 11:27 AM (5aa4z)

117 Countdown until Ace posts a second flame thread 5... 4... 3... 2... 1....

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:27 AM (tJjm/)

118 Your mom is soooo fat.... her belt size is 'equator'.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:27 AM (UMwMT)

119 109 Eat a bag of dicks, you half-bitch cock-fags.

You Sharing?

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:27 AM (IqfKc)

120 Sex? What's that? Is that when mommy gives you a sponge bath?

Posted by: The real Ace, seriously. at September 03, 2010 11:27 AM (9hSKh)

121

*waves Jazz hands furiously*

Ooh, I want to get in on this flame war!

Posted by: Andy Sullyvun at September 03, 2010 11:28 AM (YVZlY)

122
If people who say first are banned, then Little Green Marbles has won.

Posted by: Concern Elf at September 03, 2010 11:28 AM (rMMMP)

123

>> Shut up DIT. It's not like you are posting quality cheerleader pics anymore. Just old, reruns.

Congratulations homo, you passed your Alzheimer's test again.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:28 AM (WvXvd)

124 No, #129, it's FLAME war, not FLAMER war. Which means Kratos should really quit posting.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:28 AM (UMwMT)

125 108 The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (QbA6l)

Unlike the exclusively-daytime posters, who regularly get to 'scrumpin with the crack addicted, herpes infected welfare queens they call "girl friends" (up until the day their micro-penises finally drop off from repeated bacterial infections).

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (xUM1Q)

126 Pancakes!

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (/0IOT)

127 126 Your mom is soooo fat.... her belt size is 'equator'.

Ooooh, I am so stealing that! Not that I really thought it was terrifically funny or anything, ya JACKWAGON!

Posted by: TheresaD raspberries in your general direction at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (K9XK2)

128 Yo mama so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (5aa4z)

129 What's the deal with Czechoslovakia? That's one lame, has-been, racist ex-nation.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (xtAfO)

130 You guys are just a bunch of slack jawed faggots.
Posted by: Blain Cooper

At least my colon isn't falling out through my "love tunnel" IYNWIMAIKTYD.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (No0N3)

131 Figures the day timers would know best how to flame on. NTTAWWT.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 11:29 AM (2g2ex)

132 This whole site sucks, except for the people at the ONT, they blow.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (L8kaT)

133 ol_dirty_/b/tard, I like comments by you. I like skipping them and knowing I didn't miss a thing. Very easy box to check off.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (QbA6l)

134 Yeah, I'll say it. I liked the ending to Battlestar Galactica. 15 months hasn't changed my opinion. Fuck you Starbuck haters. She was a ghost. Get over it.

Posted by: Chris R, flamethrower set to "lightly toasted" at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (AO4qz)

135 Scrabble!

Posted by: Ace's "technique" at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (/0IOT)

136 137 Yo mama so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Good one.

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (DTfXb)

137 108 The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid.

That's why I never post at night..oh and because unless your named after a video game, an adult beverage or the after effects of marijuana, your pretty much ignored..

Posted by: beerologist at September 03, 2010 11:30 AM (gNzDf)

138 At least my colon isn't falling out through my "love tunnel" IYNWIMAIKTYD. Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (No0N3) I hear you have the Big Dig of Love Tunnels, Sweepea...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:31 AM (tJjm/)

139 guys go easy on ace, he's been on a roll. I don't think he's double-posted all week.

Posted by: whatever at September 03, 2010 11:31 AM (n96aU)

140 I asked your momma "what's for lunch" ...She opened up her legs and said tuna surprise

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:31 AM (+sBB4)

141 I wish Dave in Texas would follow through with that bloody coup he's been wingeing on about. Ever since Allahpundit's beard, ace, banned references to wookiees, the hits on my IMDb page have plummeted faster than Obama's poll numbers.

Posted by: Peter Mayhew at September 03, 2010 11:31 AM (osFsP)

142

CDR M, if you're lookin for a little strange, try using your left hand next time.

Better yet, sit on it for 20 minutes until it gets numb. Blind date.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (WvXvd)

143 Most of the posters in this thread wouldn't know humor if it humped their leg. The rest wish something would hump their leg.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (UMwMT)

144 You're not a real conservative!

Posted by: Purity Test! at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (nIoiW)

145

The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid

It stings most when there's some semblance of truth to the flames.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (pLTLS)

146 Y'know, the morons aren't really so bad.....but the dipshits......

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (/0IOT)

147 108 The ONT crowd, by the way, is just like "The Facts of Life:" Everyone talks about sex but no one ever fucking gets laid. That's not true! Tell them, lacey!!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (tJjm/)

148 Y'all are just butter clutchers clutching yer keyboards and 'DOS for Dummies' manuals.

Posted by: Speller at September 03, 2010 11:32 AM (qaOKJ)

149 Yo Mama's like a mosquito, you have to slap her to get her to stop sucking

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (+sBB4)

150 I would join the flame thread, but I don't punch down.

Posted by: real joe at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (IpIBJ)

151 Too bad the last time CoolCzech got any, right after he finished the tranny hooker looked up and asked "When are you getting started?"

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (UMwMT)

152

Yeah, well, if you don't like it, maybe you should start numbering your comment threads starting with #2!

Nah, this blog's main posts are already #2 after HotAir runs it first. Best start the numbering at #3

Posted by: Zimriel at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (9Sbz+)

153

That's not true!

Yeah, don't look at me. See 156

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (pLTLS)

154 You Klingon bastards! You killed my son!

Posted by: William_Shatner's_Pants at September 03, 2010 11:33 AM (qAlEt)

155 Your mom is so stanky, she swam in a lake once and made all of the fish smell like her pussy.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (IqfKc)

156 The daytime crowd has transcended actual sexual experiences and now can achieve bliss purely by thought. All we need now is some kinda name for this condition.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (2g2ex)

157 People who say "First!" on threads are like people who get fucking excited to see their names printed on their TV Guide address label. The way Bomber gets excited to see his name on blog comment threads?

Posted by: motionview at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (zRbkQ)

158 Buncha' Fucking Morons...

Posted by: Sir Richard Burton at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (6oDXl)

159 @164: all dressed up in lacey underalls and nowhere to come...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (tJjm/)

160 Dave would never arrange a coup against me. That's why I picked him as a coblogger. He's easily controllable and has no guts or initiative. All of the cobloggers, in fact, were chosen primarily for their malleability and weakness.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (QbA6l)

161 Some of the people around here are so clueless, they dip their balls into powdered pudding mix.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (/0IOT)

162 I hear you have the Big Dig of Love Tunnels, Sweepea...
Posted by: CoolCzech

That's a lie, damn it. Concrete has never fallen from the roof of my vagina.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:34 AM (No0N3)

163 By order of the grand ewok, I will not comment.

Fuck you, great video!

Posted by: Kemp at September 03, 2010 11:35 AM (AQxTm)

164 169 Buncha' Fucking Morons... Posted by: Sir Richard Burton at September 03, 2010 03:34 PM (6oDXl) We wish, but I refer you to post 156...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:35 AM (tJjm/)

165 2/3 of the earth's surface is covered by water...the other 1/3 is covered by Obama's ego!

Posted by: William_Shatner's_Pants at September 03, 2010 11:35 AM (qAlEt)

166

You people are funny. About as funny as Christine O'Donnell is electable.

P.S. Delaware sucks.

Posted by: Blue Hen at September 03, 2010 11:35 AM (R2fpr)

167 I heard Calvin Klein is introducing a new scent for women (and the men who want to be women) who like to post here.

They're calling it "Desperation".

For when you're ready to further lower your expectations... there's Calvin Klein's Desperation.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:35 AM (UMwMT)

168 133 No, #129, it's FLAME war, not FLAMER war. Which means Kratos should really quit posting.

Ironic statement, coming from the someone who confuses a joystick with a similar shape of the fleshy kind.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:36 AM (9hSKh)

169 Conservative? Yeah you're conservative, like Mike Castle is conservative.

Posted by: Rocks at September 03, 2010 11:36 AM (Q1lie)

170 Actually, I like you all, makes my eyes water, cause you're so smelly.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 11:36 AM (L8kaT)

171 Yo momma's so fat her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:36 AM (+sBB4)

172 176 2/3 of the earth's surface is covered by water...the other 1/3 is covered by Obama's ego! Posted by: William_Shatner's_Pants at September 03, 2010 03:35 PM (qAlEt) Rock it!, Man!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:36 AM (tJjm/)

173 And the way you fucks can't post without mentioning genitals or cursing really frosts my balls too.

Posted by: real joe at September 03, 2010 11:37 AM (IpIBJ)

174 #147 That's why I never post at night..oh and because unless your named after a video game, an adult beverage or the after effects of marijuana, your pretty much ignored..

Awww...now where did I put that violin?

Seriously, it's so damn small.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:37 AM (9hSKh)

175 172 Is tapioca acceptable?

Posted by: Chris R, flamethrower set to at September 03, 2010 11:37 AM (AO4qz)

176 All of the cobloggers, in fact, were chosen primarily for their malleability

I hear you can mold Laura's hump into a pair of breasts, which is convenient when you don't want to look at her face.

Posted by: Peter Mayhew, noted goat humper at September 03, 2010 11:37 AM (osFsP)

177

in fact, were chosen primarily for their malleability and weakness.

So they are the pod people?

Posted by: HH at September 03, 2010 11:38 AM (6oDXl)

178 154 Most of the posters in this thread wouldn't know humor if it humped their leg. The rest wish something would hump their leg.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 03:32 PM (UMwMT)

Oh, you'll know it if I hump your leg...

Posted by: Humor, the 60 lb bulldog at September 03, 2010 11:38 AM (YVZlY)

179 No offense, but the next time a keyboard-pecking internet faggit-dweeb fucking lectures me again about his fucking courage in tap-tap-tapping stupid words on a fucking BLOG I will fucking come over there and slap the wet cock out of his mouth. - Ace In case you missed it last night.

Posted by: motionview at September 03, 2010 11:38 AM (zRbkQ)

180 173 "I hear you have the Big Dig of Love Tunnels, Sweepea... " Posted by: CoolCzech That's a lie, damn it. Concrete has never fallen from the roof of my vagina. Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 03:34 PM (No0N3) I meant the attic and outdoor patio.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:38 AM (tJjm/)

181 172 Some of the people around here are so clueless, they dip their balls into powdered pudding mix.

Hey, I'll have you know I tried fabreeze and diet Dr. Pepper that night, sir! So there!

/Wait a minute.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:38 AM (9hSKh)

182 Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at Sea World

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (+sBB4)

183 That's why I never post at night..oh and because unless your named after a video game, an adult beverage or the after effects of marijuana, your pretty much ignored..

Posted by: beerologist at September 03, 2010 03:30 PM (gNzDf)

Nah, you're ignored because your fucking booring. I'd rather read a John Kerry speech that anything you write.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (fwSHf)

184 Don't start licking each others labia just yet, ladies.

Posted by: Mrs. Wolf at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (L8kaT)

185 This crowd doesn't know if it's been robbed, fucked, powder-burnt or snake-bit.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (PJJWW)

186 motionview, hah, thanks for posting that... I will donkey-punch your mother last.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (QbA6l)

187

ace doesn't bother with the ONT because of his excellent memory, he doesn't just recall getting beat up in the 7th grade for lunch money, or the sound of a girl's laughter when she rejects him, he can feel it.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (WvXvd)

188 @191: Keyboard pecking? Does that make you a keyboard pecker?

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (tJjm/)

189 people who say "whingeing " should be forced to eat British food.

Posted by: whatever at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (n96aU)

190

I can't think of anything witty to say.

Posted by: Dave Weigel at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (YVZlY)

191 185 And the way you fucks can't post without mentioning genitals or cursing really frosts my balls too.

Posted by: real joe at September 03, 2010 03:37 PM (IpIBJ)

Betty Crocker, Duncan Hines, or Pillsbury? Regular or Whipped Frosting? Sprinkles?

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 11:39 AM (2g2ex)

192 Ace, do you give out an award for suck-up of the year? If so, stop the nominations and vote count and give the award, right now, to rdbrewer. I mean, do you even wash your balls before rd starts the tongue bath?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:40 AM (xtAfO)

193 You people have all the intelligence and integrity of the MFM, and the sexual propriety of a Univerity of Michigan co-ed.

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 11:40 AM (xUM1Q)

194 195 That's why I never post at night..oh and because unless your named after a video game, an adult beverage or the after effects of marijuana, your pretty much ignored..

Because mommy puts you to bed at 8:00

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (IqfKc)

195 Wyden rhymes with Biden, and both have the same sharp political instincts and IQ. Coincidence? I think not.

Now, back to the fun. I need something to work with here, people!

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (DTfXb)

196 #179 Kratos, are you still upset that's you're packing a tiny little Atari 2600 joystick instead of a Logitech Attack 3?

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (UMwMT)

197 Dr Spank, you say that, but whenever my cock is dirty you don't exactly run away in horror.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (QbA6l)

198 Seriously, it's so damn small. Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 03:37 PM (9hSKh) Did you look between your legs, Kratos? Look under the fat roll...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (tJjm/)

199 I will donkey-punch your mother last. Better you than me.

Posted by: motionview at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (zRbkQ)

200

>> DIT, so how's it feel to be Ace's bitch?

You mean laughing at his performance anxiety?

It was funny for a while.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:41 AM (WvXvd)

201 No offense, but the next time a keyboard-pecking internet faggit-dweeb fucking lectures me again about his fucking courage in tap-tap-tapping stupid words on a fucking BLOG I will fucking come over there and slap the wet cock out of his mouth. - Ace
In case you missed it last night.

Hee hee. I missed it. Which thread?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:42 AM (5aa4z)

202 Ace, B lazer called. Said he's sorry.

Posted by: CT Morons at September 03, 2010 11:42 AM (L8kaT)

203 Heather Radish - I think you meant "Cathy"

Posted by: Funky Winkerbean at September 03, 2010 11:42 AM (HOYRo)

204

Apparently as children you all were on a diet of leaded paint chips.

Well, they were the shiniest and most flavorful.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 11:42 AM (2g2ex)

205 Because mommy ~~puts~~ blows you to in bed at 8:00 Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 03:41 PM (IqfKc) FTFY, asshole.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:43 AM (tJjm/)

206 Shot at and missed, shit at and hit.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 11:43 AM (PJJWW)

207 No, seriously, I fucked Dave in Texas. I was the giver. I'm not a fucking queer.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:43 AM (QbA6l)

208 209 #179 Kratos, are you still upset that's you're packing a tiny little Atari 2600 joystick instead of a Logitech Attack 3?

Not at all. Your mom didn't seem to mind last night.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:43 AM (9hSKh)

209

I can't think of anything witty to say.

Posted by: Dave Weigel

You never have, ratfucker.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:44 AM (No0N3)

210 The Idiot who posted #437 is a fucking DoUcHe

Posted by: Mjim at September 03, 2010 11:44 AM (mMdWG)

211 Not at all. Your mom didn't seem to mind last night.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (9hSKh)

Apparenlty giving Kratos the reach-around was no burden for her.

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 11:44 AM (xUM1Q)

212 Hee hee. I missed it. Which thread http://minx.cc/?post=305321 The best part is that Ace started out with multiple calls for civility at the start of the thread.

Posted by: motionview at September 03, 2010 11:44 AM (zRbkQ)

213 No, seriously, I fucked Dave in Texas.

I was the giver. I'm not a fucking queer.

Given DiT's memory problems, there's no way to contradict you.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:45 AM (5aa4z)

214 221 No, seriously, I fucked Dave in Texas. I was the giver. I'm not a fucking queer. Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (QbA6l) Ahh, so you did a Half-Assed Job?

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:45 AM (tJjm/)

215 I hate this site and its stupid hashes.

I wouldn't spend more time here than if I was early.

Posted by: Late Kat at September 03, 2010 11:46 AM (L8kaT)

216 Connecticut: the state for people too pussified to live in NYC.

Posted by: Y-not, Connecticut-hater at September 03, 2010 11:46 AM (osFsP)

217 Your mother's an astronaut.

Posted by: FireHorse at September 03, 2010 11:46 AM (sWynj)

218 The winner gets a night with this chick.

http://tinyurl.com/254cmmj

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (formerly NJConservative) at September 03, 2010 11:46 AM (LH6ir)

219 Ace neglected to pay his brain bill this month.
Posted by: Smarmy

He's a professional blogger. He couldn't come up with the 87 cents.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:46 AM (No0N3)

220 #211 Did you look between your legs, Kratos? Look under the fat roll...

Oh I found it, but it wasn't under my fat roll in proximity to my legs, CC,

.

p.s, Can you have your mom call me, please? My number's still 911.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:47 AM (9hSKh)

221 231 Connecticut: the state for people too pussified to live in NYC. Posted by: Y-not, Connecticut-hater at September 03, 2010 03:46 PM (osFsP) Last time you were pussified was when your momma had ya!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:47 AM (tJjm/)

222

No, seriously, I fucked Dave in Texas.

I was the giver. I'm not a fucking queer.

Wanna post that again?

Posted by: HH at September 03, 2010 11:47 AM (6oDXl)

223 Herr Morgenholz - you went to Princeton! Tee Hee.

Posted by: Obama joins a flame wars after bowling at September 03, 2010 11:47 AM (zRbkQ)

224 I heard Heather likes the liberal boys.

Posted by: Late Kat at September 03, 2010 11:48 AM (L8kaT)

225 p.s, Can you have your mom call me, please? Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 03:47 PM (9hSKh) OK, I call you a Titan-sized Moron!

Posted by: CoolCzech's mom at September 03, 2010 11:48 AM (tJjm/)

226 Seriously, it's so damn small.

Posted by: Kratos

You hear that a lot, don't ya?

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 11:48 AM (XdlcF)

227

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:48 AM (+sBB4)

228 233 The winner gets a night with this chick.

http://tinyurl.com/254cmmj

I know this is a flame war, but that was uncalled for you fucking douche.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (IqfKc)

229 If I ever need a brain transplant I'd want one from one of you Morons, because then I'd know that it's never been used.

Posted by: Lilikoi at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (PQPZv)

230 217 I used to grind those chips into powder and spread them on my Luit Froops ....

Posted by: Chris R, flamethrower set to at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (AO4qz)

231 Make like Jonas Salk and pound sand up your ass.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (C6ld9)

232 Yeah, I might have crossed the line.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo (formerly NJConservative) at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (LH6ir)

233 #222 - That was you? I wondered who the recent dork was that disappointed her again.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:49 AM (UMwMT)

234 246 If I ever need a brain ~~transplant~~ IMPLANT I'd want one from one of you Morons, because then I'd know that it's never been used. Posted by: Lilikoi at September 03, 2010 03:49 PM (PQPZv) You're Welcome. Asshole.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:50 AM (tJjm/)

235

Ace, do you know how I know you're gay?

You never forget to massage Allah'sPundits when you're jerking him off over your Fruit Loops.

Posted by: garrett at September 03, 2010 11:50 AM (eeEfs)

236 Jesus H. Tap Dancing -- If you're a CoolCzech, I'd hate to meet an UncoolCzech.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:51 AM (UMwMT)

237 The Hostages has to be the lamest sewing circle on the internet, lamer then the ONT. The only thing they control is the semen content of their stomachs.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 11:51 AM (xtAfO)

238 233 The winner gets a night with this chick. http://tinyurl.com/254cmmj The winner gets a night with Ace's mom?

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:51 AM (tJjm/)

239 245 233 The winner gets a night with this chick.
http://tinyurl.com/254cmmj

Yeah, like that's a female. Of any species.

Posted by: real joe at September 03, 2010 11:51 AM (IpIBJ)

240

You guys are funny!... er, I mean you all derive a bizare level of sexual satisfaction from engaging in acts that would repulse the horniest sailors stranded at sea well into delerium, so shameful the most washed up prostitue would need a theasaurus, google search, and vetrinarian's anatomy charts just to be able to diagram the unholy drunked coupling you enjoy, making the 3 am cheap cable porn look like a church ladies bake sale, involving various family members, species, and hardware supplies in novel and increasingly precarious arrangements, which require a haz mat team, high presure sand blasting and an exorcism just to hide the evidence from a cursory inspection of the defiled ground.

And so do your moms.

Posted by: Randy at September 03, 2010 11:52 AM (zQKSr)

241 Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 03:47 PM

Well, Connecticut is better than the Czech Republic. At least Connecticut doesn't change its name every 10 years.

Posted by: Y-not, Connecticut-hater at September 03, 2010 11:52 AM (osFsP)

242

Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?

It's when you mount your woman from behind, start going nice and slowly, take her hair and pull her head back slightly and whisper in her ear "Your sister was better than you...", and try to hold on for 8 seconds!

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:52 AM (+sBB4)

243 garrett, Hey, sorry, I didn't recognize you without my pecker-snot all over your forehead.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:52 AM (QbA6l)

244 Go shag a kangaroo you arse munchinng cock face.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 11:53 AM (L8kaT)

245 Ace comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a hobo humping his wife. He says, "What the hell are you two doing?" His wife turns to the hobo and says, "I told you he was stupid."

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 11:53 AM (+sBB4)

246 260 Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 03:47 PM Well, Connecticut is better than the Czech Republic. At least Connecticut doesn't change its name every 10 years. Posted by: Y-not, Connecticut-hater at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (osFsP) Unlike your momma...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:53 AM (tJjm/)

247

At least Connecticut doesn't change its name every 10 years.

And how are things in the Nutmeg Constitution State these days?

Posted by: FireHorse at September 03, 2010 11:54 AM (sWynj)

248

The problem with ace and blog payola isn't his integrity, it's finding a willing customer.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 11:54 AM (WvXvd)

249 At AosHQ's Flame War there was a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident!

Posted by: Brick Tamland at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (2g2ex)

250 You will fall victim to a light switch, water, and your own fucking stupidity.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (L8kaT)

251 I shouldn't pick on CoolCzech. He's living proof there are some things even the most desperate crackwhore won't do.

Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (UMwMT)

252 You bunch of goddamn mincing pussies just remember what your priest told you, the pain will go away once you stop your squealing.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (+lsX1)

253 I see why it's called a flame war. Never since such a menagerie of mincing queens in my life.

Posted by: Walt Gilbert at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (UO/Ip)

254

_{Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (QbA6l)}

No problem. That's the second clue I had that you were gay.

Also. Keep up the good work, nobody links Hot Air like you.

I. mean.that.

Posted by: garrett at September 03, 2010 11:55 AM (eeEfs)

255 The problem with ace and blog payola isn't his integrity, it's finding a willing customer.

It's genetic.

Posted by: Ace's Mom's Pimp at September 03, 2010 11:56 AM (5aa4z)

256 262 garrett, Hey, sorry, I didn't recognize you without my pecker-snot all over your ~~forehead~~ uvula. Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (QbA6l) Dam it Ace, if you're gonna plagiarize National Lampoon... do it RIGHT!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:56 AM (tJjm/)

257 #258 Yeah, like that's a female. Of any species.

Oh that's cruel! Reactionary is always so happy to call "her" Aunt Em, and it pleases him greatly to give "her" a nice, long, hot sponge bath.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:56 AM (9hSKh)

258 261

Do you know what Rodeo Sex is?

I tried that on your mom but she just agreed with me. She was just happy to be earning her meth for the night.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:56 AM (IqfKc)

259 Ah crap, I suck at this. Never "seen" such a menagerie ...

Posted by: Walt Gilbert at September 03, 2010 11:56 AM (UO/Ip)

260 I see why it's called a flame war. Never since such a menagerie of mincing queens in my life.
Posted by: Walt Gilbert

Better check the family photo albums again. Your dad's side.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 11:57 AM (No0N3)

261 278 The problem with ace and ~~blog payola~~ street corners isn't his integrity, it's finding a willing customer. 'cause I'm a giver, too.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:57 AM (tJjm/)

262 Hey, what do you call a blog-reader who likes hanging out with actual bloggers? "Dave in Texas."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:57 AM (QbA6l)

263 276 I see why it's called a flame war. Never since such a menagerie of mincing queens in my life.

Liar! It runs in your family

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (IqfKc)

264 Sigh ...... this isn't the same without humpbacks .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (8j+L/)

265 Last time I saw people this desperate I was lowering lotion down a well to them on a string.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (PJJWW)

266 Yeah, like that's a female. Of any species.

Oh that's cruel! Reactionary is always so happy to call "her" Aunt Em, and it pleases him greatly to give "her" a nice, long, hot sponge bath.

OK I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
I quit.

Posted by: real joe at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (IpIBJ)

267

I tried that on your mom but she just agreed with me. She was just happy to be earning her meth for the night.

I had trouble keeping the bit in her mouth. It just slid right out of her gums.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (5aa4z)

268 >>Dam it Ace, if you're gonna plagiarize National Lampoon... do it RIGHT! Hey fuck you, buddy, it's a 20 year old joke, it's up for grabs.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (QbA6l)

269 288 Sigh ...... this isn't the same without humpbacks .

Or longbows.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 11:58 AM (9hSKh)

270 282 Ah crap, I suck at this. Never "seen" such a menagerie ...

I'm pretty sure you suck at everything

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 11:59 AM (IqfKc)

271 Kratos likes gladiator movies.

Posted by: Rickshaw Jack at September 03, 2010 11:59 AM (C6ld9)

272 274 I shouldn't pick on CoolCzech. He's living proof there are some things even the most desperate crackwhore won't do. Posted by: Naqamel at September 03, 2010 03:55 PM (UMwMT) Yeah, and you shouldn't pick your nose, either. And wash your neck, while you're at it!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 11:59 AM (tJjm/)

273 You morons are a teletubbie homicidal clowns crying over your broken moldy dildos.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 11:59 AM (L8kaT)

274

Ace, none of these comments make you look sexy. And that's totally what jokes are supposed to do.

Stop laughing at me. It's sexist.

Posted by: Ann A. at September 03, 2010 12:00 PM (XdlcF)

275 Shit. I cannot believe I arrived this late to a flame war... you cockeyed, shitbrained, chowder brewing (that means in your 'ginas, for those with special needs, and hey, lets not fool ourselves - that means all of you), ice eating, hotel cover sheet sucking, Anne of Green Gables quoting, 40' dough fir log hiding, douche drinking, sacred honor diving, squirrel 'baiting, snow chuckers.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 12:00 PM (pUfK9)

276 Lemmiwink, I heard you had sex with a teacher in high school. That was cool and all, but I thought you home schooled.

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 12:00 PM (+sBB4)

277 288 Sigh ...... this isn't the same without humpbacks .

If you are talking about LauraW, she is in the middle east pretending to be a camel so some saudi men will fuck her.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 12:01 PM (IqfKc)

278 254 Jesus H. Tap Dancing -- If you're a CoolCzech, I'd hate to meet an UncoolCzech.

He is not as cool as us, two wild and crazy guys, but he does borrow our clothings to get the foxy ladies.

Posted by: George and Yortuk Festrunk at September 03, 2010 12:01 PM (osFsP)

279 297 You morons are a teletubbie homicidal clowns crying over your broken moldy dildos. Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 03:59 PM (L8kaT),/i> Leave PGiS's purple vibrator out of this!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:01 PM (tJjm/)

280 If you are talking about LauraW, she is in the middle east pretending to be a camel so some saudi men will fuck her.

Nah. They will suck her dick, though.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:02 PM (5aa4z)

281 He is not as cool as us, two wild and crazy guys, but he does borrow our clothings to get the foxy ladies. Posted by: George and Yortuk Festrunk at September 03, 2010 04:01 PM (osFsP) Your mom DID like your leopard g-string, guy!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:02 PM (tJjm/)

282 You people must be the unhappiest bunch in creation. All of you here together and not one window for you to lick.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:02 PM (PJJWW)

283 Okay, the rules are this is supposed to be funny so no like real, genuine attacks on people. Fuck that, Nerf Herder.

Posted by: fluffy, masshole at September 03, 2010 12:03 PM (4Kl5M)

284

Posted by: Mallamutt at September 03, 2010 03:57 PM (OWjjx)

Isn't that a dog?

Posted by: HH at September 03, 2010 12:03 PM (6oDXl)

285 I just farted and there is nothing you can do about it!

Posted by: Turd Ferguson at September 03, 2010 12:03 PM (f3vmC)

286 You voted for Obama!

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:04 PM (L8kaT)

287 All of you here together and not one window for you to lick.

No wonder I met your mom in a closet.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:04 PM (5aa4z)

288 294 282 Ah crap, I suck at this. Never "seen" such a menagerie ... I'm pretty sure you suck at everything Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 03:59 PM (IqfKc) You're welcome.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:05 PM (tJjm/)

289 Rickshaw Jack has a tramp stamp just like me.

Posted by: Little Penny Ackerman at September 03, 2010 12:05 PM (zRbkQ)

290 Even your dog is a chicken molester.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:05 PM (L8kaT)

291 You all have small hands and smell like cabbage.

Posted by: Do I make you horny baby? at September 03, 2010 12:05 PM (Zi+FQ)

292 I see why it's called a flame war. Never since such a menagerie of mincing queens in my life.
Posted by: Walt Gilbert

Better check the family photo albums again. Your dad's side.Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 03:57 PM

Liar! It runs in your family
Posted by: Lemmiwinks

Gee, Lemmi, if you're going to steal jokes, at least get it right. For once.

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 12:06 PM (No0N3)

293 I give Ace a Red Sox sweep and what do I get in return? I get woke up in the middle of the night with a sex crazed Ewok pounding my tomatoes with his member (or ace jr. as he calls it). I couldn't time travel for a week.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at September 03, 2010 12:06 PM (xtAfO)

294 Editor wrote a comment with twenty insults and he's STILL boring.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 12:06 PM (QbA6l)

295 No wonder I met your mom in a closet. Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:04 PM (5aa4z) Dude, that was her walk-in vagina.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:07 PM (tJjm/)

296 Met her in a closet? Borrowing her clothes more like it.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:07 PM (PJJWW)

297

_{Editor wrote a comment with twenty insults and he's STILL boring.}

I ran into his Uncle behind the woodshed and he said the same thing about his dick sucking skills.

Posted by: garrett at September 03, 2010 12:08 PM (eeEfs)

298 295 Kratos likes gladiator movies.

Why of course! Who wouldn't see a production where one of our very own moronettes, Mama AJ, had a bit part? Of course, I failed to mention she was one of the animal extras. In all fairness though, I couldn't tell if she was "playing" the elephant or the female dog.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:08 PM (9hSKh)

299 And as for the rest of you, I hope to God that you are sterile.

Posted by: Smarmy at September 03, 2010 04:07 PM (ErXCa)

Don't worry, your sister hosted a bukkake party not a gang bang

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 12:08 PM (fwSHf)

300 Rickshaw Jack has a tramp stamp just like me.

Really? It says "Ashtray here" and "Beer here"?
What are the odds?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:08 PM (5aa4z)

301 Editor = boring

ace = Julian Assange's tight alibi

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 12:08 PM (pUfK9)

302

I haven't seen so much recycled material since I read Joe Biden's campaign speech.

Posted by: Mallamutt at September 03, 2010 04:07 PM (OWjjx)

Congrats on the new reading skills. Hooked on Phonics?

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 12:09 PM (2g2ex)

303 328

Posted by: Smarmy at September 03, 2010 04:05 PM (ErXCa)

I haven't seen so much recycled material since I read Joe Biden's campaign speech.

That's funny coming from a guy whose mom has been re-used 10,000 times.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at September 03, 2010 12:09 PM (IqfKc)

304

Ace, none of these comments make you look sexy. And that's totally what jokes are supposed to do.

Stop laughing at me. It's sexist.

Posted by: Ann A. at September 03, 2010 04:00 PM (XdlcF)

Yeah, but they do make his butt look big.

Or is that the Mom Jeans???

Posted by: antisocialist at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (Rwudm)

305 Met her in a closet? Borrowing her clothes more like it.

Hey. I was playing Paul Bunyan in that production.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (5aa4z)

306 You sister banging hillbillies couldn't be funny even without your false teeth.

Now, get me a beer.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (L8kaT)

307 Julian Assange's tight alibi

Oh, there's nothing tight about Julian!

Posted by: Liberace at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (UMwMT)

308 Oh, Hi everyone! *waves sweetly* What's up?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (UOM48)

309

Oh, no, Ace said he was 28 again and all the morons are believing him again.

Why bother making up insults for people who are just sitting there saying "Me moron, me moron"?

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:10 PM (XdlcF)

310 That's funny coming from a guy whose mom has been re-used 10,000 times.

Stick in a ham, pull out the bone, and she'll be good as new.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:11 PM (5aa4z)

311 Ace, how's your diet going?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:11 PM (xtAfO)

312 Typical reactionary tactic: if you can't take it raw, put it in flame.

Posted by: John Charlson at September 03, 2010 12:11 PM (3tDcT)

313 320 You all have small hands and smell like cabbage.

So says the man who had to glue a hair-piece to his torso to appear more "manly" and who's teeth didn't need a make-up artist to make them look that bad.

/Products of the British Dental Association.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:11 PM (9hSKh)

314 >>Ace, how's your diet going? Pretty good... your mom's mouldering snatch is low-carb. Well, sort of low. Hi fat content tho.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 12:12 PM (QbA6l)

315 You sister banging hillbillies couldn't be funny even without your false teeth.

Now, get me a beer.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (L8kaT)

Have your Mom shot one out her cooch. I put them there to stay cold.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:12 PM (5aa4z)

316 Oh, Hi everyone! *waves sweetly* What's up?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (UOM4

Jane, act like a woman and get us a beer would ya? thanx

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 12:12 PM (fwSHf)

317 Oh, Hi everyone! *waves sweetly* What's up?

Jane D'oh, a hillbilly's sister.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 12:12 PM (L8kaT)

318 This crowd throws a dart at the VFW member list to see who gets the Father's Day card each year.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:13 PM (PJJWW)

319

Ace and Allah bump heads all the time; when they're both sniffing Obama's bicycle seat.

And people who post "first" on a thread are nothing more than the internet version of a pecker gnat.

I would punch lawyers in the face but shit splatters.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at September 03, 2010 12:13 PM (6BgmB)

320

>> Oh, Hi everyone! *waves sweetly* What's up?

Your skirt and my interest.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 12:13 PM (WvXvd)

321

*waves sweetly*

You really shouldn't call attention to the honey that you dripped all over your shirt during lunch.

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:14 PM (XdlcF)

322 Anyone who says "First!" -- and 90% of the time, you're not even fucking first -- is a retard twice over.

Any over 40, scruffy looking ewok wanna be who claims he is "29" over and over is a cockholster.

Posted by: Hedgehog at September 03, 2010 12:15 PM (oQIfB)

323 It's obviously not Dave Native Texan.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:15 PM (xtAfO)

324 Damn, I was hoping Mrs. D'oh wasn't as stupid as the lawyers in this here group...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:15 PM (9hSKh)

325 It's pretty sad that all the women here are whorish cock-junkies and not a single man can step up and knock one in.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 12:15 PM (QbA6l)

326 Does your mom know she has genital warts? Seriously, it looks like she's growing a damn rice krispie treat out of her pussy.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 12:15 PM (+lsX1)

327 You really shouldn't call attention to the honey that you dripped all over your shirt during lunch.

That's not honey, that's a paycheck!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:16 PM (5aa4z)

328 Damn, I was hoping Mrs. D'oh wasn't as stupid as the lawyers in this here group...

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 04:15 PM (9hSKh)

Yeah except the lawyers in the group are billing some poor fucker for the time they spend on here.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 12:16 PM (fwSHf)

329 May you live a long pathetic life.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:16 PM (L8kaT)

330 #348 Pretty good... your mom's mouldering snatch is low-carb. Well, sort of low. Hi fat content tho.

Fatkin's Diet!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:17 PM (9hSKh)

331 It's pretty sad that all the women here are whorish cock-junkies and not a single man can step up and knock one in.

I have, but it's like throwing a peanut down a hallway with these broads.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 12:17 PM (5aa4z)

332 It's pretty sad that all the women here are whorish cock-junkies and not a single man can step up and knock one in.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 04:15 PM (QbA6l)

UNLESS...y'all aren't really "men" in the traditional sense...

Posted by: antisocialist at September 03, 2010 12:17 PM (Rwudm)

333 It's pretty sad that all the women here are whorish cock-junkies and not a single man can step up and knock one in.

Speak for yourself bitch, Shamwow can't even help the ladies when I'm around.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 12:18 PM (+lsX1)

334 Jane D'oh, a hillbilly's sister.

Hey leave Jane alone. Shes got talent.

Rumor has it she actually wanted to be an actress at one time. She even auditioned for a role in "Scent of a Woman"

They offered her a part in "A Fish Called Wanda".

Posted by: fixerupper at September 03, 2010 12:18 PM (J5Hcw)

335 I hear the best way to bed a moronette is to throw a ball of raw hamburger with a few sleeping pills inside over the fence and wait for their barking to stop.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:18 PM (PJJWW)

336

Any bets on how many angels can dance on his head?

Nah, they don't make magnifying glasses powerful enough.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at September 03, 2010 12:18 PM (cniXs)

337 366 May you live a long pathetic life.

No, no!

Gonna take the David Carridine way out. Alas, there isn't much I can do with 20 femtometers...

Posted by: The real Ace, seriously. at September 03, 2010 12:19 PM (9hSKh)

338 I like your internet moniker Dr Spank. Why waste time in the ONT explaining you're afraid of women when you can wear it around your neck like a sign?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 12:19 PM (WvXvd)

339

not a single man can step up and knock one in.

The men are all convinced that knocking one out is good practice and makes them ready for the real deal.

Oh, damn, it's not an insult if you're nodding in agreement.

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:20 PM (XdlcF)

340 Little known fact: Christine O'Donnell is on firmer financial footing than Ace.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 12:20 PM (NjYDy)

341 It's really sad and pathetic that we accuse trolls of living in their moms' basements, when the fact is, most of the moron men here are doing the same thing.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 12:20 PM (UOM48)

342 Oh and ladies, word to the wise, don't fucking look like your pregnant if you don't want to be asked when the baby's due.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 12:21 PM (+lsX1)

343 379 It's really sad and pathetic that we accuse trolls of living in their moms' basements, when the fact is, most of the moron men here are doing the same thing.

I'll have you know I "graduated" to the upstairs bedroom, madam!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:21 PM (9hSKh)

344 Ed Schultz has a greater intellect than 90% of the morons here.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 12:21 PM (UOM48)

345 342 Oh, Hi everyone! *waves sweetly* What's up?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (UOM4

Hi, Jane! How are the hands?

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 12:22 PM (/0IOT)

346 You will fall in Love....Canal.....from thirty thousand feet. But it will look cool.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:22 PM (L8kaT)

347 Hi, Jane! How are the hands?

They're fine. Like you fucking care.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 12:23 PM (UOM48)

348 #377 The men are all convinced that knocking one out is good practice and makes them ready for the real deal.

Awww..you're just jealous I don't use your grotesque visage for "stimulation".

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:23 PM (9hSKh)

349 Ed Schultz has a greater intellect than 90% of the morons here.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 04:21 PM (UOM4

Yeah, I've never heard of Ed Shultz reaching into a hot oven and grabbing a pan bare handed. You have a point.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 12:23 PM (fwSHf)

350

I hear the best way to bed a moronette is to throw a ball of raw hamburger with a few sleeping pills inside over the fence and wait for their barking to stop.

Well, when you learn to throw farther than Obama, you can give that a try.

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:24 PM (XdlcF)

351 All you people forgot your shine boxes. No wonder you are unemployed.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:24 PM (PJJWW)

352 #383 Hi, Jane! How are the hands?

Her jazz-hands? I hear they're faboo!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:24 PM (9hSKh)

353 I remember DiT's 1st post : She Says I'm Not Doing It Right, A little Help...

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:25 PM (xtAfO)

354 Yeah.........and your sister hogged the covers last night as well.

Was wondering where she went when she left.......

Posted by: fixerupper at September 03, 2010 12:25 PM (J5Hcw)

355 my turds are your manna from heaven

Posted by: B Obama at September 03, 2010 12:26 PM (IXgcK)

356 Herr said that screwing a Moronette was like putting a junior mint in a whale's mouth. Not sure who should be more ashamed.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:26 PM (PJJWW)

357

I'll have you know I "graduated" to the upstairs bedroom, madam!

Better computer up there?

Posted by: HH at September 03, 2010 12:26 PM (6oDXl)

358 I believe Gabe's 1st post had something to do with marriage.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:27 PM (xtAfO)

359 Denial doesn't improve your already slim chances.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:27 PM (L8kaT)

360 I'll have you know I "graduated" to the upstairs bedroom, madam! Better computer up there? No, "Dad" had a parole violation.

Posted by: fluffy, masshole at September 03, 2010 12:28 PM (4Kl5M)

361 You are the type who would suck a dick for a Tic Tac, then forget to ask for the Tic Tac.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:28 PM (PJJWW)

362 The moronettes on here have had more strange cock in them than a bus station urinal.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at September 03, 2010 12:28 PM (6BgmB)

363 #399 Better computer up there?

Not really. It has a better vantage point straight into Mama AJ's bedroom.

After I saw her with the 10 clowns and some..thing in a Snoopy suit, I burned my eyes out with paint thinner and vowed to let the world know what sick and twisted things went on up there in that den of decadence.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:29 PM (9hSKh)

364 I'm glad everyone here is letting off a little steam before their evening shift at Jack-in-the-Box.... and I don't mean the hamburger joint...

Posted by: Pee Wee Herman at September 03, 2010 12:29 PM (1AnxB)

365 Foster Farms has handled fewer cocks than the moronettes.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:29 PM (PJJWW)

366 robtr are makes Julian Assange look downright butch.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 12:30 PM (UOM48)

367 If every dick stuck in a moronette was sticking out of them, they would look like a porcupine.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:31 PM (L8kaT)

368 You are the type who would suck a dick for a Tic Tac, then forget to ask for the Tic Tac. I just smell like your Mom. I don't act like her.

Posted by: fluffy, masshole at September 03, 2010 12:31 PM (4Kl5M)

369 AoSHQ Sexist Quip:

Moronette, Bowling ball, Only Three Fingers.

Some assembly required

Posted by: Really old lame joke at September 03, 2010 12:31 PM (J5Hcw)

370 You all know that ace goes to another supersekrit site to talk trash about you behind your backs, right? My God, the man isn't even a conservative. Are you all really this stupid?

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 12:31 PM (CBUys)

371 i haven't commented here in about a year, and it's no small wonder why. this is still the same bunch of cincinatti chili dog and devil's casserole eating shitbrains that like sucking the farts from dead goat asses. suck my balls bitches.

Posted by: brass pair at September 03, 2010 12:32 PM (4WhSY)

372 >>>Little known fact: Christine O'Donnell is on firmer financial footing than Ace. This is actually, sadly, true. I like how JeffB. only shows up to talk about faggy british 80s bands or to suck my cock. Mostly the latter part. He's good at it, don't knock it.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 12:32 PM (QbA6l)

373 This is the short bus of flame wars...

Posted by: Eric Cartman at September 03, 2010 12:32 PM (1AnxB)

374 404 You are the type who would suck a dick for a Tic Tac, then forget to ask for the Tic Tac.

Speaking from the dude who fell for the line from an old Hobo about him needing to suck something from a "garden hose" while blindfolded.

/Was the 10 bucks worth it?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:32 PM (9hSKh)

375 Kratos, no matter how much you compliment me, you have to stay in the backyard.

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:33 PM (XdlcF)

376

Naqamel is proof of the old adage:

"You can take the Buckeye out of Columbus, but you can't take the wheels off his house."

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:34 PM (W54Uh)

377 I used to read lauraw's posts and think, hmm.....interesting. Now I pray for death.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:35 PM (xtAfO)

378 415 i haven't commented here in about a year... Posted by: brass pair at September 03, 2010 04:32 PM (4WhSY) THANK YOU.

Posted by: The Little Man in The Boat at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (tJjm/)

379 That reminds me, fluffy, your Mom needs to kick in for rent or she has to get off my couch. And tell her that her prison shower shoes don't belong in the living room floor. Enough is enough.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (PJJWW)

380 When are you morons going to learn, sucking grandpa's leaking colostomy bag does not count a carbohydrate.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (L8kaT)

381 Hey laura, I see you finally managed to roll over off of your hump. Guess its not like a turtle shell. It was close enough.

Posted by: turtle smoking a cigarette at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (4Kl5M)

382 Silly sock puppet! I'm the BIG man in the Boat, heh, heh!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (tJjm/)

383 You know how I know Ace is gay? He always uses "antique" as a gerund.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (W54Uh)

384 425 Did everyone attend Lauraw's baptism at Sea World this weekend?

I felt the waves all the way up here,

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (9hSKh)

385 407 I'm glad everyone here is letting off a little steam before their evening shift at Jack-in-the-Box.... and I don't mean the hamburger joint...

Posted by: Pee Wee Herman at September 03, 2010 04:29 PM (1AnxB)

Evening shift? As if any of these doughy screengazers has that much stamina....

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 12:36 PM (/0IOT)

386 Ladies, one last thing, trim the ass hair. It's like wrestling a fucking chimp when we're boning it up.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 12:37 PM (+lsX1)

387 425 Did everyone attend Lauraw's baptism at Sea World this weekend? Posted by: Smarmy at September 03, 2010 04:36 PM (ErXCa) No, but I DID catch her pole dance recital at the Pink PUssycat last night.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:37 PM (tJjm/)

388

You know how I know Ace is gay?

He knows what a pillow sham is.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:37 PM (W54Uh)

389 432 Ladies, one last thing, trim the ass hair. It's like wrestling a fucking chimp when we're boning it up.

I think you've confused entrance and exit orifices.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:37 PM (9hSKh)

390 That hobo at least died happy, Kratos. Which is more than I can say for your brain.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:38 PM (PJJWW)

391 Don't make fun of retards like LauraW, she suffers from a severe case of latent oral identification. And her false teeth pop right out.

Posted by: Fortune Cook at September 03, 2010 12:38 PM (L8kaT)

392 432 Ladies, one last thing, trim the ass hair. It's like wrestling a fucking chimp when we're boning it up. Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 04:37 PM (+lsX1) That's a LIE, and I have the hairs between my teeth to prove it!

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:38 PM (tJjm/)

393 Moronettes... even I wouldn't touch em with a ten foot dildo...

Posted by: Elana Kagan at September 03, 2010 12:39 PM (1AnxB)

394 I actually enjoy watching LauraW flame people, she's like Andrew Dice Clay handling a heckler only with more neck hair.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 12:39 PM (WvXvd)

395 It's 2010.

They are all entrance orifices.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:39 PM (PJJWW)

396 Gabe Malor: he's like David Souter without the charisma.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:39 PM (W54Uh)

397
You know how I know Ace is gay?

He loves cock.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:39 PM (xtAfO)

398 429 You know how I know Ace is gay? He always uses "antique" as a gerund.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 04:36 PM (W54Uh)

Let's see......which word use is more gay: "antique" as a whatchamacallit, or "gerund" in any fuckin' sentence at all...... Sorry, Steve -- I think you're on the losing end of that one.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 12:40 PM (/0IOT)

399 He always uses "antique" as a gerund. How do you top someone using 'gerund' in a flame war? Will you next whine that his pinky wasn't extended?

Posted by: fluffy at September 03, 2010 12:40 PM (4Kl5M)

400 Coldplay called and said Ace is gay.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:40 PM (PJJWW)

401 You know how I know Ace is gay?

His dick tastes like shit????

Posted by: fixerupper at September 03, 2010 12:40 PM (J5Hcw)

402 I wish the moronettes would consider a new feminine hygiene spray scent, though. Cinnamon Cider gets old after a while...

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:42 PM (tJjm/)

403 441 It's 2010.

They are all entrance orifices.

Is that what "Steve" told you? Well, he's wrong!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 12:42 PM (9hSKh)

404 I think you've confused entrance and exit orifices.

Who are you, the pope? Why don't you just get back to your snake handling, I'll have your mom hitch a ride home soon as we're done.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy's Gristle Encased Head at September 03, 2010 12:43 PM (+lsX1)

405

You know how I know Ace is gay? He always uses "antique" as a gerund.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate

Obama is gerund-undly perfect!

But seriously Steve, it sounds gay when you say it.

Posted by: Chris Matthews at September 03, 2010 12:43 PM (XdlcF)

406
Thou are a loggerheaded hasty-witted canker-blossom.

Posted by: W. Shakesphere at September 03, 2010 12:44 PM (L8kaT)

407 A moronette's vag is like Pet Cemetery, anything you stick in there is never the same again.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:44 PM (PJJWW)

408

You know how I know cthulhu's gay?

He prefers simple writing--like Andrew Sullivan's.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:44 PM (W54Uh)

409 I love Ace's wide stance

Posted by: larry craig at September 03, 2010 12:44 PM (1AnxB)

410 Billy Squier called and said "thanks for the dance advice Ace, I'll use it in a video."

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 12:45 PM (xtAfO)

411 Hey thanks Dave! Can we hear your botched-vasectomy story again? And again?

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 12:45 PM (CBUys)

412 You know how I know Ace is gay? He always uses "antique" as a gerund. Posted by: Steve the Pirate Do you know how I know that YOU'RE gay? You use the word "gerund."

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 12:46 PM (tJjm/)

413 Thou are a loggerheaded hasty-witted canker-blossom. Blow it out yer ass, Willy.

Posted by: fluffy, low-brow at September 03, 2010 12:46 PM (4Kl5M)

414

I think you've confused entrance and exit orifices.

They're all marked "Public Access" on a moronette.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at September 03, 2010 12:47 PM (6BgmB)

415 Is gerund a contraction of Greyhound? Like where most of you people make your crack money?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:47 PM (PJJWW)

416

It's a thread like this that proves all the talk about utilizing pudding cups is physically impossible unless the poster is one of the few "women" here.

Far too many of you spend your time giving yourselves Vaseline facials with Ace's love crack to know a decent flame. I honestly don't know why the bandwidth is wasted on a pack of hygienically-challenged fanboys who think "flames" consist of mommy insults or Andrew Sullivan pick-up lines.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 12:47 PM (qF8q3)

417

"Dave in Texas"--riiiiiiight.

Dave's in Tex's ass is more likely.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:47 PM (W54Uh)

418

_{You know how I know Ace is gay?}

He instictually kneels when seeing a gloryhole.

Posted by: garrett at September 03, 2010 12:48 PM (eeEfs)

419 Laura, a sea horse is a brine shrimp, it's not "My Little Water Pony"

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 12:48 PM (WvXvd)

420

He prefers simple writing--like Andrew Sullivan's.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 04:44 PM (W54Uh)

Thought it said "writhing" there for a second.....I guess I was remembering last night with your mom.

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 12:48 PM (/0IOT)

421 ace, please stop asking me if I want pancake flour on my back.

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 12:49 PM (+sBB4)

422

Someday, somehow, CoolCzech might learn to refresh before making the same joke 17 other people have made.

But first he has to figure out how to hold down the "F" and "5" keys at the same time.

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:49 PM (XdlcF)

423 I was a conservative, until I caught Ace fingering my beagles...

Posted by: Andi Sullivan at September 03, 2010 12:50 PM (1AnxB)

424

"If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee."

- Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)

"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

- Winston Churchill, in reply

Posted by: Lazarus Long at September 03, 2010 12:50 PM (8edQv)

425 #468

Somebody gotta pimp you bitches and get you in out of the rain. You too dumb to survive on your own.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:50 PM (PJJWW)

426 To all you Goddamn (I mean higher-power damned) bitter clinging to your guns and religon Americans (I mean Amercians as in citizens, because this is not directed at Native or Real Americans) that are throwin a temper tantrum, let me just say borrowing a term from the other side "Go Fuck Yourself! Since you are all to stupid to realize JOBS is a three letter word in these 57 states I would ask you to look into the eyes of those veterans that gather in crowds on Memorial Day and thank them that the war was lost before it was won. You clueless Nazis (sorry to my fellow socialists) who are paid by big oil to prevent Cap N Trade and subsidies to a car that cost $41K and can travel 40 miles before being plugged in, just go get aborted in the 3rd trimester or later. You mother fuckers should be ashamed for considering money paid to you as yours we all know tax cuts are defined as the government giving you money you stupid lame-ass workers. This is a big fucking deal you anti-union slave drivers.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 03, 2010 12:50 PM (XyoGP)

427 Braaaiin Paaaancaaaakes!!!

Posted by: Zombie Ace pickup line at September 03, 2010 12:51 PM (/0IOT)

428

Thought it said "writhing" there for a second.....I guess I was remembering last night with your mom.

Speaking of your mom--tell her to shave her back. It's getting distracting.

Posted by: Steve the Pirate at September 03, 2010 12:51 PM (W54Uh)

429 Dave, Sea Monkeys are brine shrimp.

Sea horses are my magical talking ocean friends.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 12:51 PM (CBUys)

430 Q: Why does ace have a large mustache?
A: To hide the stretch marks

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 12:51 PM (+sBB4)

431 Joe Biden's mom just kinda laid there.

I never called her back.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:52 PM (PJJWW)

432

really?

...

well shit.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 12:52 PM (WvXvd)

433

Why does Ace wear gold chains?

So he knows where to stop shaving his neck.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 12:52 PM (2g2ex)

434 480 Joe Biden's mom just kinda laid there.

I never called her back.

Because she's dead. Corpsefucker!

Posted by: wooga at September 03, 2010 12:54 PM (2p0e3)

435 Q: What's ace's favorite pickup line in a bar?
A: May I push your stool in?

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 12:54 PM (+sBB4)

436

LOL, Smarmy.

/sits back and waits for CoolCzech to make the same joke in 10 minutes

Posted by: Mama AJ at September 03, 2010 12:55 PM (XdlcF)

437

Ace is going to complete another item from his bucket list.

He is sleeping with the Jonas Brothers this weekend.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 12:55 PM (XyoGP)

438

That is not the first!....first!....first! time that joke has been used.

I'm not joking. The only way the flamers here could crack a smile is if they each sat on a your mouth. Again.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 12:57 PM (qF8q3)

439 NAMBLA called ace, you forgot to pay your dues.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at September 03, 2010 12:57 PM (6BgmB)

440 I'd be funnier if I had more time to practice. As it is, I spend most of my day mucking out your wife's stall and filling her feed bag.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:57 PM (PJJWW)

441 Andi Sullivan just called, he said he hasn't seen such a big circle jerk since... last night Chuckie Johnsons

Posted by: Eric Massa at September 03, 2010 12:58 PM (1AnxB)

442 I got nothing. My better nature precludes me from offering my opinion of you taint bumping, sphincter lipped spunk junkies.

Posted by: Ohio Dan at September 03, 2010 12:58 PM (rurh0)

443 That's Corpseman to you!

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 12:58 PM (PJJWW)

444

_{You know how I know Ace is Gay?}

Well. I put my dick in his oatmeal...and he thanked me for it.

Posted by: Wilford Brimley at September 03, 2010 12:58 PM (eeEfs)

445

Welcom to the Special Education Edition of Flame Wars!

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 12:59 PM (mZu8a)

446 This is actually, sadly, true.

I like how JeffB. only shows up to talk about faggy british 80s bands or to suck my cock.

Mostly the latter part. He's good at it, don't knock it.

Sorry about the rough financial times, Ace. Here's five dollars, maybe you can hire on another hack co-blogger to do your work for you.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:00 PM (NjYDy)

447 Ace, Nancy Pelosi just e-mailed me. She said you shed all over her 600 thread-count sheets last night. And piddled on the floor around her toilet.

Oh, and she said to hold the screaming and moaning down next time. You frightened the help.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 01:00 PM (UOM48)

448

If you want to be funny, Sifty, post your political opinion.

And "mucking" was obviously a typo.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:00 PM (qF8q3)

449 Q: How do you know when your wife is really dead?
A: Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger.

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 01:00 PM (+sBB4)

450

#494 I was trying to think of a state with shittier Republicans than Delaware.

Good timing.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 01:00 PM (WvXvd)

451 Sorry about the rough financial times, Ace. Here's five dollars, maybe you can hire on another hack co-blogger to do your work post the same threads again for you.

FIFY

Posted by: fixerupper at September 03, 2010 01:01 PM (J5Hcw)

452 This flame war is lost

Posted by: Harry Reid at September 03, 2010 01:01 PM (1AnxB)

453

_{You know how I know Ace is Gay?}

Well. I put my dick in his oatmeal...and he thanked me for it.

Because he thought it was a raisen.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 01:01 PM (XyoGP)

454

Welcome to the Special Education Edition of Flame Wars!

It's funny because it's true.

Here's five dollars, maybe you can hire on another hack co-blogger to do your work for you.

Someone's getting ripped off. I think it's the readers.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:02 PM (qF8q3)

455 Ace's girlfriend doesn't say much to him during sex - just "is it in?"

Posted by: Zombie Carnac at September 03, 2010 01:03 PM (+sBB4)

456 Now now BB. Let's not get personal. I told you I feel guilty for fucking your sister already. I gave you your 25% share of the fee.

PS:
It was everything you said it would be.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:03 PM (PJJWW)

457

#494 I was trying to think of a state with shittier Republicans than Delaware.

Good timing.

There's always Texas.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:03 PM (NjYDy)

458 Thanks for the 'e' BB! I won't charge your mom next time.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:03 PM (mZu8a)

459 I am not flaming shit.

I been banned three times, twice by pixy and once by Ace.

Fuck them, no flame from me, cocksuckers.

Have a nice day.

Oh, and suck the barbed cock of Staten.

Posted by: Kemp at September 03, 2010 01:04 PM (AQxTm)

460 Ace is ready in the morning to travel, as he always has his shit packed the night before.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 01:05 PM (XyoGP)

461 Staten?

He's my fucking lawyer and he has a 26 inch dick, at least that's what his secretary says.

Posted by: Kemp at September 03, 2010 01:05 PM (AQxTm)

462 Kemp, who the fuck are you, and why should we give a crap whether you've been banned? If you really have banned, I'm guessing it's because you've behaved like a friggin' moron. Because Ace, et al. put up with massive amounts of shit around here from the commenters.

Mostly just because Ace is into coprophagia, though.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:06 PM (NjYDy)

463

Now now BB. Let's not get personal. I told you I feel guilty for fucking your sister already. I gave you your 25% share of the fee.

PS:
It was everything you said it would be.

You already admitted you weren't funny. Why continue to prove it?

Thanks for the 'e' BB! I won't charge your mom next time.

She's dead, but I'm not surprised you're into necrophilia and maggots.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:06 PM (qF8q3)

464 Seriously though, you guys are mostly pathetic when it comes to creative flaming.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:07 PM (NjYDy)

465 So Ace gets out of the shower this morning, and walks into the kitchen to find AllahPundit beating-off into a condom...

so Ace says "What the hell are you doing?"

to which Allah replies: "Relax, I'm packing your lunch"

Posted by: George Michaels at September 03, 2010 01:08 PM (1AnxB)

466 No worries Jeff B, Christmas is getting closer and you will be in a better mood when you get to play Santa Claus all day.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 01:08 PM (XyoGP)

467 Is it shift change at the uptight asshole factory already?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (PJJWW)

468 Dave in Texas, also know as Ann Richards' pool boy.

Posted by: Larsen E. Whipsnade at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (6BgmB)

469 >519 Seriously though, you guys are mostly pathetic when it comes to creative flaming.

When it comes to creative flaming, you're definitely the expert.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (xtAfO)

470 283 Better check the family photo albums again. Your dad's side.

287 276 Liar! It runs in your family

294 282 I'm pretty sure you suck at everything

Is that you Uncle Bill and Aunt Bob?

Posted by: Walt Gilbert at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (UO/Ip)

471 Kemp, take your lumps like a man and effing admit the typo. If you pulled four fingers out of JeffB it never would have happened.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (qF8q3)

472 Don't break bad on Texas Republicans. How many Republican groups do you know that can field a Dick Armey? Excluding the Log Cabins, naturally.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:09 PM (mZu8a)

473

When it comes to creative flaming, you're definitely the expert.

*Adam Lambert nods head vigorously*

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:11 PM (qF8q3)

474

Is it shift change at the uptight asshole factory already?

Why, do you want BrewFan to clock you in?

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:13 PM (qF8q3)

475

<i>She's dead, but I'm not surprised you're into necrophilia and maggots.</i>

Sorry for your loss. Who's going to earn the money for your crack habit now?

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:14 PM (mZu8a)

476 Ace is such a pussy 'hos live off him.

Posted by: Nick Shaw at September 03, 2010 01:14 PM (AcE3g)

477 deleted and banned -- typical faggity death-threat from a cringing weakling who poses as a hardass on the internet. Goodbye you slipper-assed boy-whore.

Posted by: redgat at September 03, 2010 01:14 PM (P9aJ4)

478 First?

Posted by: Nickie Goomba at September 03, 2010 01:16 PM (vv8lw)

479 Punch that shit down morons!

Posted by: Anabolic Stae at September 03, 2010 01:17 PM (sBLIr)

480 (NON-FLAME ALERT. TROLL CLEANUP ALERT.)

#533 -
If I read what you wrote there correctly you can go fuck yourself. If I could find my login I'd delete your comment right now. I ask that anyone with keys to the moderation remove his comment quickly.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:18 PM (NjYDy)

481 All these baby seals and no club.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:18 PM (PJJWW)

482

Sorry for your loss. Who's going to earn the money for your crack habit now?

Uh, you just paid extra, remember? Oh that's right; you suffer from memory loss ever since you ran head-first into your self-importance.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:18 PM (qF8q3)

483 Yeah. That shit has got to go.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:19 PM (PJJWW)

484

The internet-fu is strong with this BrewFan chap.

Evidently you misunderstood when he suggested you stroke him.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:20 PM (qF8q3)

485 Jeff B I understand you learned to release your inner masculine side working under this guy.

Posted by: motionview at September 03, 2010 01:21 PM (RoptX)

486

Oh that's right; you suffer from memory loss ever since you ran head-first into your self-importance.

BB, this is a flame war not your group therapy session.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:22 PM (mZu8a)

487 BB, find the cap to that bottle.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:23 PM (PJJWW)

488

The internet-fu is strong with this BrewFan chap.

I learned everything I know from lauraw's hump.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:23 PM (mZu8a)

489 I hear if you listen real close to her hump, you can hear the ocean.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:24 PM (PJJWW)

490

BB, this is a flame war not your group therapy session.

THIS is not even a flame tussle.

Was that drizzle your latest brainstorm?

If it's on your chin, I think it's BrewFan's.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:25 PM (qF8q3)

491 549 I hear if you listen real close to her hump, you can hear the ocean.

If you listen a little farther south, you smell the ocean.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 01:26 PM (xtAfO)

492

BB, find the cap to that bottle.

Sifty, put some thought in your anything.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:27 PM (qF8q3)

493 If Michelle Obama stands still will people try to rock climb her?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 01:28 PM (XyoGP)

494 The last time I saw anything as dirty as you hobos I planted tomatoes in it.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:28 PM (PJJWW)

495 Pictures of the hump are forbidden. Last person who tried to take one was Jimmy Hoffa. I'm just sayin'...

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:28 PM (mZu8a)

496 I long to hear JeffB.'s thoughts, but in a male voice.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:28 PM (QbA6l)

497 I wish Charles Johnson was my son instead of you.

Posted by: Ace's mom at September 03, 2010 01:29 PM (blcI9)

498 Wow, redgat, you are soooo tough... Will you hold me in your big strong arms? I love these punks. You know this little slipper-assed restroom-hump is either 105 pounds or 405. But man, when he gets on the internet, boy howdy!, I tell you, he's The Rock. All bad-assed and shit.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:31 PM (QbA6l)

499

And people say that there is no such thing as a perfect idiot!

Right, as if anyone would believe people talk to you.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:32 PM (qF8q3)

500 redgat suffered from extreme penis envy until he met BB

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:32 PM (mZu8a)

501 you know the ultimate sign of masculinity? Someone who's idea of action is to make death-threats like a pathetic old Gypsy hag on the internet. Because that's what redgat's got. That's what this little cock-wringing glans-gargler is reduced to. Sitting in the darkness, alone and unloved, shitting out sick power fantasies on the fucking internet.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:32 PM (QbA6l)

502 533 ace, I'm sure the Secret Service won't prosecute for a first offense, but the internet tough guy will remember the visit from the humorless men in dark suits.

Posted by: fluffy at September 03, 2010 01:33 PM (4Kl5M)

503 hey redgat, I'd pay you your going rate of five bucks to fuck you up the ass but it would be like tagging the Chunnel.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:34 PM (QbA6l)

504 If redgat and BB keep on like this they'll get kicked out of the Chuck E Cheese.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:34 PM (PJJWW)

505

You tards still at this?

My menstrual cycle isn't this tiring. Less painful to get through though.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 01:35 PM (pLTLS)

506 I wish I could be ridden by Charles Johnson.

Posted by: Ace's bicycle at September 03, 2010 01:35 PM (/0IOT)

507 Menstrual CYCLE? More like a Ferris Wheel.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:36 PM (PJJWW)

508 redgat could be Christina Romer's sockpuppet

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:36 PM (mZu8a)

509 hey redgat, before the ban goes through, why don't you regale me with your resume of bad-assery? Tell me all your accomplishments. Shouldn't take long, right? Faggit half-a-dick sitting there jacking off his gun.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:36 PM (QbA6l)

510

No one will ever know that you've had the lobotomy, if you wear a wig to hide to the scars, and learn to control the slobbering and constant masturbation.

Smarmy just copied and pasted the instructions from his/her* favorite internet porn site.

*No one can tell in person, either.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:36 PM (qF8q3)

511 I wish Charles Johnson would take my picture.

Posted by: Ace's fence at September 03, 2010 01:37 PM (/0IOT)

512 I didn't know you could have menstrual cycles in your fifties.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 01:37 PM (xtAfO)

513 Her fifties? She was having them in the 1850's.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:39 PM (PJJWW)

514 If Charles Johnson were my client, I could afford a place in the Hamptons.

Posted by: Ace's analyst at September 03, 2010 01:39 PM (/0IOT)

515 Faggit half-a-dick sitting there jacking off his gun.

Ace, it's spelled "faggot" and you know I care about these sorts of things. That word in particular, of course.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:40 PM (NjYDy)

516 ace likes getting fisted by Johnny Coldcuts while yelling "First!"

Posted by: i like cheese at September 03, 2010 01:40 PM (0xDTu)

517

redgat suffered from extreme penis envy until he met BB

...and he said, "Hey, you don't have one, just like BrewFan!"

If redgat and BB keep on like this they'll get kicked out of the Chuck E Cheese.

Sifty has mastered the ability to lick his wounds and type at the same time. Unfortunately, he hasn't learned how to not be a weeping pu$$y or be funny.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:41 PM (qF8q3)

518 Hey come back, Pussy. I'm not done with you. I need to hear from a Real Man about Real Man shit.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:42 PM (QbA6l)

519

redgat in action!

http://tinyurl.com/2apzv4s

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:42 PM (mZu8a)

520 Johnny Coldcuts

Speaking of which, and this is off-topic from flamewarring, but man...this just sort of feels like a "Johnny Coldcuts" sort of electoral cycle. Anyone else with me on this? It has that sort of "fuck-you-sideways-you-bitchfaced-twatscar" sort of vibe to it.

Anyone else want to see Johnny make more appearances on AoSHQ again between now and November? I know Ace phased that sort of stuff out as part of his bid for media respectability.

Which you would have to think was pretty much a lost cause after he appeared in public, on camera, in that body.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:44 PM (NjYDy)

521 BB are you transgendered? NTTAWWT

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:45 PM (mZu8a)

522 Oh, look who showed up. lacey - ohio's own clydesdale humper.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 01:45 PM (pUfK9)

523 When a shit-stain like you can wound me, BB, my skin will be as thin as your momma's virtue.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:45 PM (PJJWW)

524 I am going OT for you putrid festering boil of losers:

Give a Hobo a Hug and Some Hot Chocolate.

Posted by: W. Shakesphere at September 03, 2010 01:45 PM (L8kaT)

525 So DiT's hanging around for a flame war . Somewhere , at an arport , they're missing a hotpant wearing tranny.

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at September 03, 2010 01:46 PM (8j+L/)

526

ohio's own clydesdale humper.

Jealous?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 01:47 PM (pLTLS)

527

Hey, I don't think you are an idiot.

Thank GOD, the world can sleep tonight.*

But then what's my opinion against millions of others?

It's worth about as much as the sex tape starring you and Sifty's gym sock. To be clear, that's with or without the comparison.

*That would be sarcasm to the challenged, which is pretty much everyone in this thread.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:48 PM (qF8q3)

528 I didn't know you could have menstrual cycles in your fifties.
Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 05:37 PM

Maybe Lacey has a menstrual cycle, but that would surprise me. I always figured she'd be a Harley girl.

And we all know about them, IYKWIMAITYD....

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 01:48 PM (Ulu3i)

529 Whoops. I carried the flamewar over into the office. I brought beers in for lunch and drank more than the rest of them combined. Told them they were a bunch of worthless alcoholics that didn't know how to drink.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 01:50 PM (pUfK9)

530

Jealous?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 05:47 PM (pLTLS)

Yeah. They get wear blinders.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 01:50 PM (pUfK9)

531 Editor, the Highway Patrol already told you once. The Rest Stop is not "your office".

:-)

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:51 PM (PJJWW)

532 Yeah. They get wear blinders.

Well it's the hawtness, yo.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 01:52 PM (pLTLS)

533 Which you would have to think was pretty much a lost cause after he appeared in public, on camera, in that body.

That reminds me, Ace - how hard was it to find a girl who wants a man that only comes up to the height of her bellybutton? And what did you do after she left you for a man of average size?

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:52 PM (NjYDy)

534 Now we know why the Clydesdales had to drag around a wagon full of beer.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 01:52 PM (PJJWW)

535

BB are you transgendered? NTTAWWT

BrewFan, I think you'd be able to figure out by now that you and I are nothing alike.

When a shit-stain like you can wound me, BB, my skin will be as thin as your momma's virtue.

Neither I nor science would qualify your outer membrane as skin.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:52 PM (qF8q3)

536 Good grief, you idiots. Post #602 and this is the best you 'tards can do? One Kos Kiddie could take the lot of ya.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 01:54 PM (UOM48)

537 >>>how hard was it to find a girl who wants a man that only comes up to the height of her bellybutton? You seemed okay with it.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:54 PM (QbA6l)

538 This thread smells like ass.

Posted by: mpfs at September 03, 2010 01:54 PM (iYbLN)

539 I like when girls try to be funny. It's a little awkward, a little embarrassing, but you like to see 'em trying.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:54 PM (QbA6l)

540

BB, I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

The last you tried your shoulders got stuck, but at least you got a nice view of your prior five clients.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 01:54 PM (qF8q3)

541 Good grief, you idiots. Post #602 and this is the best you 'tards can do? One Kos Kiddie could take the lot of ya.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 05:54 PM (UOM4

Hey now. ace said there are rules against real attacks. I mean, I'm holding off the lacey lawyer shit.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 01:55 PM (pUfK9)

542 Hey, Jane D'oh, The funniest thing to ever come out of your mouth was *me.*

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:55 PM (QbA6l)

543 Ace, Elena Kagan just texted AP. You left your dildo at her place.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 01:56 PM (UOM48)

544 I like when girls try to be funny. It's a little awkward, a little embarrassing, but you like to see 'em trying.

Ace, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when those girls were laughing at you it wasn't because of your jokes.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:56 PM (NjYDy)

545 Hey Jane, I think I left something on your back.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:57 PM (QbA6l)

546 >>Anyone else want to see Johnny make more appearances on AoSHQ again between now and November?

Who are you talking to dipshit? If I want to make "an appearance", I show up. Now head to Subway and bring me back a skank.

Posted by: Johnny Coldcuts at September 03, 2010 01:57 PM (xtAfO)

547 Jane D'oh

Elena doesn't need a dildo she has a dick.

Ace on the other hand......

Posted by: mpfs at September 03, 2010 01:57 PM (iYbLN)

548

Ace, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when those girls were laughing at you it wasn't because of your jokes.

Correct, you were standing behind him.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 01:57 PM (XyoGP)

549 Hey Jane, I think I left something on your back.

Don't worry -- it's not fatal but it *will be* recurring.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 01:57 PM (NjYDy)

550

BrewFan, I think you'd be able to figure out by now that you and I are nothing alike.

Well we do have some things in common. I like sex and you like sex. The difference is I prefer the same species.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 01:58 PM (mZu8a)

551 You know where your back is, right, Jane? The place where you have what you call "Bonus Tits."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 01:58 PM (QbA6l)

552

I like when girls try to be funny. It's a little awkward, a little embarrassing, but you like to see 'em trying.

Hey, you should embrace us. After all, we all know your 'ettes here are the only form of XX chromosome contact you get. Stalkers don't count. Due to the crazy and what not. _{(too much?)}

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 01:58 PM (pLTLS)

553 Jeff B., next time you come over, could you bring a loofah for my back? And bring your own rubber ducky. I'm tired of sharing.

Posted by: Keef Olberdouche at September 03, 2010 01:58 PM (UOM48)

554 All you fuckers are as useless as a cat filter.

Posted by: The Mega Independent at September 03, 2010 01:59 PM (5I0Yr)

555 looks like the lawyer jokes are game!

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 01:59 PM (pUfK9)

556

Well we do have some things in common. I like sex and you like sex. The difference is I prefer the same species.

Unfortunately for BrewFan, he never gets his preference! It's very s-a-a-a-a-d.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:00 PM (qF8q3)

557 is there anyone who buys that laceyunderalls is a girl? I mean -- a REAL girl? Like, you know, with medical records that say so?

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:00 PM (QbA6l)

558

looks like the lawyer jokes are lgame!

But sure, go ahead.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 02:00 PM (pLTLS)

559 You guys suck. The only thing flaming here is Brewfan.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:00 PM (X0Ona)

560 looks like the lawyer jokes are game!

Hey, I've got an unemployed-lawyer-joke for you all.

I call it Ace of Spades!

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:01 PM (NjYDy)

561

You really should ask someone to read your "flames" before you post as your verbosity is exceeded only by your stupidity.

You really should try to flame sometime. You'd be pathetic, but that hasn't stopped you from anything else.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:02 PM (qF8q3)

562 The only time I met Ace I thought his beard was turning gray. Then he asked for a towel.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:02 PM (omVri)

563
As my little old grandma used to say...

I don't know how this will end, but I know there will be tears.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at September 03, 2010 02:02 PM (BPptn)

564

The only thing flaming here is Brewfan.

*Adam Lambert nods even more vigorously*

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:03 PM (qF8q3)

565 is there anyone who buys that laceyunderalls is a girl?

Oh, I bought her a few times. Back when she was young and good looking. and disease free.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 02:03 PM (L8kaT)

566 If it weren't for the moronettes, the only female contact you morons would have are your moms and your inflatable girlfriends.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 02:03 PM (UOM48)

567

Wow, you're like one of those "idiot savants," except without the "savant" part.

Swing and a miss! Keep trying.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:04 PM (qF8q3)

568 I mean -- a REAL girl? Like, you know, with medical records that say so?

As if you could be expected to know the difference. The only important emotional bond you've formed in the last five years has been with an anime-manga creation you've taken to calling "Teela."

I think you watched too much He-Man as a kid.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:04 PM (NjYDy)

569 A hobo could take the lot of you with just his breath.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 03, 2010 02:05 PM (h0RtZ)

570 I don't know how this will end, but I know there will be tears.

Posted by: fiscal ferret, social fruit bat at September 03, 2010 06:02 PM (BPptn)

It got better when grandma's asshole loosened up.

Posted by: Grandpa at September 03, 2010 02:05 PM (omVri)

571 I'm not sayin' Brewfan is old. But when the Egyptians invented beer 5000 years ago, Brewfan asked, "What took you so long?"

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:05 PM (X0Ona)

572 When's the apology thread?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 02:06 PM (xtAfO)

573 Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 06:03 PM

You seem grumpy -- Energizer Bunny not keeping your boyfriend going, Jane?

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 02:06 PM (Ulu3i)

574

If it weren't for the moronettes, the only female contact you morons would have are your moms and your inflatable girlfriends.

Don't forget these, Jane.

Posted by: laceyunderalls: they're real & they're SPECTACULAR at September 03, 2010 02:06 PM (pLTLS)

575 I would do Jane and lacyunderalls, but I think I'll just cut out the middleman and drink a vat of Magic Johnson's blood. (Whitney Cummings joke.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:06 PM (QbA6l)

576 If it weren't for the moronettes, the only female contact you morons would have are your moms and your inflatable girlfriends.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 06:03 PM (UOM4

Trust us - we're taking a 2nd look.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 02:07 PM (pUfK9)

577 When's the apology thread?

After the crying thread.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 02:07 PM (UOM48)

578 Oh, I bought her a few times. Back when she was young and good looking.

I'm hanging onto my Confederate money in case she gets plastic surgery.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:08 PM (omVri)

579 When's the apology thread?

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 06:06 PM (xtAfO)

Yeah. You need to apologize. Worst. Head. Ever.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 02:08 PM (pUfK9)

580 When's the apology thread?
Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 06:06 PM

We're all going to need it to apologize for you, you jackwagon.

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 02:08 PM (Ulu3i)

581 Shit, mosquito bite on my ankle. Oh wait, it's just JeffB. Like I said, it's awkward when girls try to be funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:08 PM (QbA6l)

582 Herr Morgenholz, You've got someone on your lip.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:09 PM (QbA6l)

583

When's the apology thread?

Good GRIEF, this site has gone downhill. Apparently it will be after the love-in but before the psychoanalysis.

I've seen fewer lame pu$$ies in an animal shelter trash can.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:09 PM (qF8q3)

584

All you fuckers are as useless as a cat filter.

Not true, the cat filter on my lawn mower keeps the grass pretty much free of cat parts.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:10 PM (XyoGP)

585 When's the apology thread?

After the crying thread.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 06:07 PM (UOM4

That's right after the "We didn't call your skank ass afterwards" thread.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:10 PM (omVri)

586 Without your retard-strength you guys are nothin'.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:10 PM (PJJWW)

587 That wasn't a mosquito, ace. It was a love nip from Chrissy Mathews.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 02:11 PM (UOM48)

588

You win. Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," you're practically invulnerable.

Strike Two! Incidentally, I would give my responses some thought if you would.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:11 PM (qF8q3)

589 And by "British men" they mean "Male AoSHQ readers"-- http://tinyurl.com/28bx6cf

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:11 PM (QbA6l)

590 Who's got time for inflatable dolls when I am fully programmed?
Posted by: Sex Robot at September 03, 2010 06:10 PM

Lose the sock, ace.

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 02:11 PM (Ulu3i)

591 Herr Morgenholz,

You've got someone on your lip.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 06:09 PM (QbA6l)

Your sister is the only hooker I've ever met that kisses.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:12 PM (omVri)

592 To all you Delaware haters out there, whether you like Castle or O'Donnell, or if having to make the choice makes you want to eat a bullet, you all suck piles of donkey cock. Cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, and more cock.

Besides, where's Blue Hen or any of my other Delaware morons? I'm not hearing enough bitching about this shitbox of a state.

_{Ok, so I'm a self-hater...}

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:13 PM (/LXml)

593

Your sister is the only hooker I've ever met that kisses.

Yeah, but not on the mouth unless you're family.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:14 PM (qF8q3)

594 Actually, ace, that "mosquito bite" was a flea bite....from your girlfriend, whose name I've forgotten, but she speaks "baaaaa".

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 02:14 PM (UOM48)

595 from your girlfriend, whose name I've forgotten, but she speaks "baaaaa".
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 06:14 PM

Ace is dating your sister? Do tell!

Aaaaah, sheep thrills....

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 02:15 PM (Ulu3i)

596 I sorry star-blogger syndrome is a real disease.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 02:16 PM (xtAfO)

597 Jane, my sheep's name is "Daisy," and at least she keeps it trim down there.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:16 PM (QbA6l)

598 Shit, mosquito bite on my ankle.

Oh wait, it's just JeffB. Like I said, it's awkward when girls try to be funny.

Situations Ace finds awkward:

- When girls try to be funny.

Situations Ace no longer finds awkward:

- When girls weep uncontrollably and plead with him for their lives.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:16 PM (NjYDy)

599

You know what's funny in the most pathetic way possible-

Half of you are most likely pantless right now.

And we can't even mock the legit shit.

Posted by: laceyunderalls: they're real & they're SPECTACULAR at September 03, 2010 02:16 PM (pLTLS)

600 Jane D'oh eyes... as in, really wide eyes right after that bull elk pulled it out and said, "Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else."

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 02:16 PM (pUfK9)

601 AllahPundit and Ace sitting in a tree, S-E-X-T-I-N-G.

How was that Broadway date, anyways?

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 03, 2010 02:17 PM (h0RtZ)

602 Situations Ace no longer finds awkward:

- When girls weep uncontrollably and plead with him for their lives.

Well, the lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying...

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:17 PM (/LXml)

603

<i>The only thing flaming here is Brewfan.</i>

I am hot. BB can't get enough of me...or the 101st Airborne Division for that matter.

Posted by: BrewFan at September 03, 2010 02:18 PM (mZu8a)

604 Every time Jane D'oh takes off her underwear I swear to God I'm watching Match Game with Nipsey Russel.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:18 PM (QbA6l)

605 Ah Lacy, I stare into your eys and see the back of your head.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:18 PM (XyoGP)

606 We'll see who is laughing when I send the city over to inspect your crawlspace for male prostitutes and clown costumes.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:19 PM (PJJWW)

607 When Ace asks a girl upstairs for pancakes, he actually makes them pancakes. Then does their hair.

Posted by: Johnny Pancakes at September 03, 2010 02:19 PM (xtAfO)

608 When Jane takes off her granny-panties Gene Rayburn steps out and says "BLANK date, BLLLLANK date."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:19 PM (QbA6l)

609

Hey, you guys, why suck cock when you can have physical gold?

Posted by: Scott Carter at September 03, 2010 02:19 PM (HbTYC)

610 Are we going to get a Damage Report thread for the best flames in this flamewar? It started out as some weaksauce stuff, but has really picked up over the last 200 posts or so.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:20 PM (NjYDy)

611

Every time Jane D'oh takes off her underwear I swear to God I'm watching Match Game with Nipsey Russel.

But what is that velcro-like sound?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:20 PM (XyoGP)

612 When Jane takes off her granny-panties Gene Rayburn steps out and says "BLANK date, BLLLLANK date."

Okay, this is actually laugh-out-loud fucking funny, but I doubt most people will get the reference these days.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:20 PM (NjYDy)

613 Later, guys. I've got a dinner date with my husband. And I don't have to inflate him.

Try not to hurt each other's widdle feelings too much. Assholes.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 03, 2010 02:20 PM (UOM48)

614 Checklist for sex with Jane D'oh: 1. Two condoms 2. Machete

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:21 PM (QbA6l)

615

Hey, you guys, why suck cock when you can have physical gold?

Voices of experience are instructive.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:21 PM (XyoGP)

616 636 If it weren't for the moronettes, the only female contact you morons would have are your moms and your inflatable girlfriends.

Your point?

/There's a reason why married men die several years before their wife - because they want to!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:21 PM (c0A3e)

617 Half of you are most likely pantless right now.

You know me better than that. "Likely"?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:21 PM (omVri)

618 I hear that moronettes are an easy lay, but that the love tunnel feels rough as sandpaper until you pick the scabs and let the puss run...

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 02:21 PM (4nbyM)

619

Later, guys. I've got a dinner date with my husband. And I don't have to inflate him.

What four shoes is he wearing tonight?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:22 PM (XyoGP)

620 687 Later, guys. I've got a dinner date with my husband. And I don't have to inflate him.

No, but you have to make sure "his" batteries are fully charged up!

/Seriously, have fun, kids!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:22 PM (c0A3e)

621 We'll see who is laughing when I send the city over to inspect your crawlspace for male prostitutes

Honestly, sifty. I don't know where your dad is.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:23 PM (omVri)

622 Like you'd know a dad if you saw one, Herr.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:24 PM (PJJWW)

623

I hear that moronettes are an easy lay

Huh. Did your m ail order bride ditch you already?

Posted by: laceyunderalls: they're real & they're SPECTACULAR at September 03, 2010 02:24 PM (pLTLS)

624 Later, guys. I've got a dinner date with my husband.

Saddle up!

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:24 PM (omVri)

625 Checklist for sex with Ace:

1.) Stepladder
2.) Heavy sedatives
3.) Three cans of "Deep Woods" Off!

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:24 PM (NjYDy)

626 Sorry I'm late. I was at your mother's bukkake party. Everyone came.

Posted by: steve at September 03, 2010 02:25 PM (c1oyg)

627

I am hot. BB can't get enough of me...or the 101st Airborne Division for that matter.

By BB, BrewFan means Bob Balaban and his character in "Midnight Cowboy." Of course, Bob is ACTING.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:25 PM (qF8q3)

628

Honestly, sifty. I don't know where your dads are.

Fixed.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:25 PM (XyoGP)

629 681 When Ace asks a girl upstairs for pancakes, he actually makes them pancakes. Then does their hair.

And then asks them to do his hair. Afterwords, he has a crying session with Allahpundit via Skype.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:25 PM (c0A3e)

630 Like you'd know a dad if you saw one, Herr.

I know the top of your dad's head like a fuckin' roadmap.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (omVri)

631 checklist for sex with JeffB: 1. Three dollah 2. Ability to maintain an erection in a dissused bus-station basement bathroom

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (QbA6l)

632 /There's a reason why married men die several years before their wife - because they want to!

Translation: if and when the Playstation 4 comes out and it has some form of sexual peripheral, Kratos will become immortal.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (/LXml)

633 When's the apology thread? There's no crying in blogging. Well, not much.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (zyopO)

634

Lacey is to flamewar what Tiger is to marital fidelity.

I know, I suck. Hey, too bad your wife doesn't.

Posted by: laceyunderalls: they're real & they're SPECTACULAR at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (pLTLS)

635 Wasn't lacyunderalls the name of the whore from Caddyshack?

Posted by: Johnny Pancakes at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (xtAfO)

636 696 Like you'd know a dad if you saw one, Herr.

Sifty, isn't the most confusing holiday for you Father's Day?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:26 PM (c0A3e)

637 Yeah. But she had great tits so......

Posted by: laceyunderalls: fictitious whore present & accounted for at September 03, 2010 02:27 PM (pLTLS)

638 JeffB's got more male genetic material in him than Quantico's DNA Archives.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:28 PM (QbA6l)

639 Lacey is to flamewar what Tiger is to marital fidelity.

But the target tramp-stamp is intriguing.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:28 PM (omVri)

640 702 Lacey is to flamewar what Tiger is to marital fidelity. Posted by: Mallamutt at September 03, 2010 06:25 PM (OWjjx) I was going to tell lacey to grow a pair, but charitably decided to view her cups as half full rather than half floppy.

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 02:28 PM (tJjm/)

641 Kratos, any day you see a turkey baster is Father's Day.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:28 PM (PJJWW)

642

laceyunderalls: they're real & they're SPECTACULAR

Yeah, yeah... Like Teri Hatcher's, they're probably comparable to gym socks with a pool balls in 'em, flopping about.

Posted by: Reactionary at September 03, 2010 02:28 PM (4nbyM)

643 ~ tap tap tap tap tap ~

There is no microphone, I just like to tap.

I will make the Match Game jokes at the expense of ace
- because that is the way my caravan travels.

Dumb ace is so dumb?

(now you say "how dumb is he?")

Dumb ace is so dumb ...

... that Ace told the homicide investigator he sliced like a {blank}

-

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at September 03, 2010 02:29 PM (Hj0nA)

644 I don't want to say that JeffB. has a lot of come in his belly, but Rod Steward and Richard Gere just called to say, "Shit, JeffB. has a lot of come in his belly."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:29 PM (QbA6l)

645 Hey what is that whistling sound? Lacey please cover at least one of your ears.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:29 PM (XyoGP)

646 Lacey is to flamewar what Tiger is to marital fidelity.

But the target tramp-stamp is intriguing.

The tattoo over her pooter reading "_____________'s Playground" where you can fill in the blank with a Sharpie is a nice touch.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:29 PM (/LXml)

647 I've destroyed Ace in this thread more thoroughly than he destroyed his last seven hard-drives to keep all that sweet, sweet tentacle-rape porn out of the hands of those Special Victims Unit investigators.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:30 PM (NjYDy)

648 #707 Translation: if and when the Playstation 4 comes out and it has some form of sexual peripheral, Kratos will become immortal.

No need to wait. Your mom offered to be an "upgrade" to my PS3.

/I am invincible!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:30 PM (c0A3e)

649

Wrong ---- Tuesday was my birthday. Only another 363 days to go.

We're about half way to V-Day. So you should have that going for you if you don't fuck up and play your cards right.

Posted by: laceyunderalls: fictitious whore present & accounted for at September 03, 2010 02:30 PM (pLTLS)

650 @722: wait a minute... you mean she had the tattoo of my tongue removed?

Posted by: CoolCzech at September 03, 2010 02:31 PM (tJjm/)

651 >>>Wrong ---- Tuesday was my birthday. Only another 363 days to go. And yet I hear-tell every day is Birthday Day for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:31 PM (QbA6l)

652 Please someone help Hahji meet his 72 virgins.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:31 PM (XyoGP)

653 Lacey's tramp stamp is in Braille, so guys know where to shoot without having to take the bag off their heads.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:31 PM (PJJWW)

654 The tattoo over her pooter reading "_____________'s Playground" where you can fill in the blank with a Sharpie is a nice touch.

Don't use a Sharpie. It's hard to get out. I could still read "Seventh Fleet" last time I was there.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:32 PM (omVri)

655 I'm not saying Mallamutt's wife's a whore. Whore's get paid. Different thing entirely.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:32 PM (QbA6l)

656 716 Kratos, any day you see a turkey baster is Father's Day.

That's how Zeus impregnated my mom? What a bastard! Although this is the same deity that impregnated women via the first "golden shower" and even a duck IIRC.

But not to indulge you, I submit that any day you see a bitch in heat, you consider that Mother's Day.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:32 PM (c0A3e)

657

at least she keeps it trim down there.

You should talk. Try waxing teh junk before the next pudding dip, the rettes are tired of the Anita Hill action.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at September 03, 2010 02:33 PM (cniXs)

658 Don't use a Sharpie. It's hard to get out. I could still read "Seventh Fleet" last time I was there.

What about one of those fruit-scented markers from elementary school?

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:33 PM (/LXml)

659
>Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic

That's more accurate.

Posted by: Johnny Pancakes at September 03, 2010 02:33 PM (xtAfO)

660 Lacey's tramp stamp is in Braille, so guys know where to shoot

Uh, dude. That's not braille. It's crust.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:33 PM (omVri)

661 lacey's tramp-stamp is the only way to tell her front from the back.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:34 PM (QbA6l)

662 731 I'm not saying Mallamutt's wife's a whore. Whore's get paid. Different thing entirely.

A whore couldn't make a living working where Mallamutt's wife lived because she gives it away for free!

Posted by: The dude at PSU's Main Campus at September 03, 2010 02:34 PM (c0A3e)

663 It would be easier to sleep at night if Herr and Kratos would stop sitting on the back fence and howling for the neighbor's cat all night.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (PJJWW)

664 why did living_right_in_CA's mother have her hymen restored using plastic surgery?

So Hadji could lay the pipe to her in eternity.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (Hj0nA)

665 What about one of those fruit-scented markers from elementary school?

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 06:33 PM (/LXml)

No. That would make it smell like a carp just shit a strawberry.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (omVri)

666 C'mon guys. Ace is using fucking TV Guide as a comedic reference. You can do better - it's not like the bar is set terribly high.

Posted by: mpurinTexas (kicking Mexico's ass since 1836) at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (ZqxmO)

667 #733 You should talk. Try waxing teh junk before the next pudding dip, the rettes are tired of the Anita Hill action.

Ironic that you'd speak of "waxing" bbd.

Are you trying to regrow the Amazon rain forest?

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (c0A3e)

668 Lacey's tramp-stamp is of Admiral Akbar yelling "It's a trap." The smell of live lobster adds to the versimilitude.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:35 PM (QbA6l)

669 About fucking time we had another flame fest. I needed something to add a little MORE heat to the fucking oppressive temps that we're facing today. It's going to be ONLY 106* today.

All you fuckers on the East Coast who are whining about Earl, fuck you. You had a fucking week to prepare for that shit. Get your ass out here to Cali where we have to be ready 24/7 in case "The Big One" decides to finally turn LA or SF into the wasteland that they already are morally and politically. All you get is a little wind and rain, and we get the tumble dryer.

I tell you what. If I could drop a bomb on DC and start over, I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat. I don't care if it's a smoldering crater. The rest of the US will be far better off, and we can start over with a truly Constitutional government. Plus, we'd have a whole lot more money in our pockets, and we'd be kicking all the other countries' asses in every way possible.

Posted by: Smokey Behr at September 03, 2010 02:36 PM (QyeW7)

670

What do Hadji and the front of a plane have in common?

They both are cockpits.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:36 PM (XyoGP)

671 Even I won't protect that rainforest.

Posted by: Sting at September 03, 2010 02:36 PM (PJJWW)

672 I'm not saying Lacey started out early as a whore, but her vagina got socially-promoted four grades ahead of her.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:37 PM (QbA6l)

673 A whore couldn't make a living working where Mallamutt's wife lived because she gives it away for free!

You do have to feel sorry for her, especially after her husband's unfortunate injury he sustained while trying to recreate Dick Cheney's infamous "Night of the Sodomizing Cougar Man" incident. Apparently, Step 1) (turning a live mountain lion into a condom) was the problematic part.

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:37 PM (/LXml)

674 The smell of live lobster adds to the versimilitude.

I'm in.

Posted by: Michelle at September 03, 2010 02:37 PM (omVri)

675

Alright shitstains.

Enjoy yourselves and fer chrissakes put your pants back on. No ones needs to see that shit.

I'm out.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at September 03, 2010 02:37 PM (pLTLS)

676 Awww, isn't it cute watching Ace flirt with Lacey?

Ace and Lacey sitting in a tree, K-I..

/Wait, Ace wouldn't know what to do with a woman. My mistake.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:38 PM (c0A3e)

677

I'm not saying Lacey started out early as a whore, but her vagina got socially-promoted four grades ahead of her.

And her birth announcement was made on Craiglist.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:38 PM (XyoGP)

678 what is the difference between Living_right_in_CA and Johnny_Pancakes and a herd of goats?

A herd of goats complain when sexually molested by nomads.

Posted by: Hadji the Muslim Comic at September 03, 2010 02:39 PM (Hj0nA)

679 By lacey. I hope all these insults won't ruin your weekend with the Bengals.

Posted by: Michelle at September 03, 2010 02:40 PM (omVri)

680

Are you trying to regrow the Amazon rain forest?

In my armpits.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at September 03, 2010 02:40 PM (cniXs)

681 Lacey's wedding invitations were printed in every construction site Porta-John within a hundred mile radius. She was hoping someone would be the groom.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:41 PM (PJJWW)

682 Crusty sockpuppet.

Kind of like lacey's beard.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:41 PM (omVri)

683 756Are you trying to regrow the Amazon rain forest? In my armpits.

Making a more suitable habitat for the crabs, eh?

Go gurl power!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:42 PM (c0A3e)

684 Aw, Lacy don't go. I had the next number on the train tickets Kratos was selling for your party.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 02:42 PM (2g2ex)

685 We should try to hookup alexthechick and alexthedude. I think monster truck tickets would do it.

Posted by: Johnny Pancakes at September 03, 2010 02:42 PM (xtAfO)

686 About fucking time we had another flame fest. I needed something to add a little MORE heat to the fucking oppressive temps that we're facing today. It's going to be ONLY 106* today.

All you fuckers on the East Coast who are whining about Earl, fuck you. You had a fucking week to prepare for that shit. Get your ass out here to Cali where we have to be ready 24/7 in case "The Big One" decides to finally turn LA or SF into the wasteland that they already are morally and politically. All you get is a little wind and rain, and we get the tumble dryer.

This is a flame war thread, for fuck's sake. Either flame or shut the hell up.

In fact, you know what? Get out. I think there are other blogs out there that are more your speed. Try www.hannity.com, you'll love it over there.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:43 PM (NjYDy)

687 761 We should try to hookup alexthechick and alexthedude. I think monster truck tickets would do it.

And they can compare who has the bigger penis.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:44 PM (VS/no)

688 Wow, Ace just ripped my wife. Come on Ace, I don't make jokes about Allahpundit.

Which reminds me, I have *another* unemployed lawyer joke for you all.

I call it "Allahpundit!"

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:44 PM (NjYDy)

689 Hadji ha successful cock reduction surgery. The doctor removed 1" off his penis. He now has two assholes.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:45 PM (XyoGP)

690 Hey Smokey >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Door

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:45 PM (PJJWW)

691 Oh man, Jeff B?? THE Jeff B of 'this flame thread has too many hurtful references to homosexuality' fame? Awesome. Checklist for sex with Jeff B.: 1) Steel Magnolias DVD 2) a penis

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 02:45 PM (DbybK)

692 I think Hadji has nailed the flaming aspect of a flame war.

Posted by: Johnny Pancakes at September 03, 2010 02:46 PM (xtAfO)

693 You know what I hate about JeffB.? He's turned the term "Glory Hole" into nothing but a cruel irony. Oh, and speaking of salads, last night his mother tongue-punched me right in the fart-box.* * Yeah I'm gonna keep using this one.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:47 PM (QbA6l)

694 You forgot lots of cryin', Laura.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:47 PM (zyopO)

695 LauraW:

I think you, me, and Ace may be the only ones here who participated in the Original Flamewar. Good times.

By the way, I never got all lice out of your vagina. Tried to use "Rid" shampoo and everything. Too many nits.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:47 PM (NjYDy)

696 772 You forgot lots of cryin', Laura.

And a nice Harlequin romance novel.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (VS/no)

697 This is a flame war thread, for fuck's sake. Either flame or shut the hell up.

Oh wow, look at him acting all butch! Adorable!

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (DbybK)

698 >>>Wow, Ace just ripped my wife. Come on Ace, I don't make jokes about Allahpundit. He's not my wife, he's just lonely and "experimenting."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (QbA6l)

699 Hey, forget the so-called flaming. I'm here to watch Ace and JeffB verbally 69'ing. The sweet subtext of their man-love brings a tear to my eye.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (qF8q3)

700 Laura, is that fresh wax on the hump, or did Ace just get a little excited to see you?

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (zyopO)

701 lauraw knows about this mystical ceremony called sexual intercourse?

I don't believe it for one minute!

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 02:48 PM (c0A3e)

702 Ever see those pictures of Ace the first day his mamma brought him home from the abortion doc.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (L8kaT)

703 >>>I think you, me, and Ace may be the only ones here who participated in the Original Flamewar. Good times. JeffB. is always fondly remembering the good old days, right before a group of six grade boys took him out to the woods and taught him how pain could sing sweetly. (That was three years ago, btw.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (QbA6l)

704

I think you, me, and Ace may be the only ones here who participated in the Original Flamewar. Good times.

Think again, ladyboy.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (qF8q3)

705 The real question is who gets to use theirs first?

Gotta be the dude, because the chick has dick-aphobia.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (VS/no)

706

Hey, forget the so-called flaming. I'm here to watch Ace and JeffB verbally 69'ing. The sweet subtext of their man-love brings a tear to my eye.

And your hand to your dick.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (XyoGP)

707 Checklist for sex with lauraw:

1.) Giraffe speculum
2.) Squeeze bottle full of Nutella

Posted by: Hoss Fuentes at September 03, 2010 02:49 PM (/LXml)

708 You know what I hate about JeffB.? He's turned the term "Glory Hole" into nothing but a cruel irony.

You know what I hate about Ace? He's turned the term "serial fetish rapist" into nothing but a wan descriptor of his leisure activities.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:50 PM (NjYDy)

709 786 Checklist for sex with lauraw:

1.) Giraffe speculum
2.) Squeeze bottle full of Nutella

You forgot the busload of illegal immigrants.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:50 PM (VS/no)

710

He's not my wife, he's just lonely and "experimenting."

And gay marriage isn't legal in their state. Sheesh, this is a political website, too.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:51 PM (qF8q3)

711 Kratos, intercourse is not really a mystical ceremony.

This is the type of thing you say that tips people 'in the know' that you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 02:52 PM (DbybK)

712 But seriously, Laura's pretty easy on the eyes, unless you get too close to it.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:52 PM (QbA6l)

713 You forgot the busload of illegal immigrants.

Major win on this one. For whatever reason, it works.

(Unlike Ace during weekends.)

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 02:52 PM (NjYDy)

714 Three things Ace needs to have sex : a woman free environment, a noose and a door.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 02:52 PM (xtAfO)

715

And your hand to your dick.

I'm not BrewFan.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:53 PM (qF8q3)

716 That's when illegals will start demanding medical plans.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:53 PM (PJJWW)

717 Major win on this one. For whatever reason, it works.

(Unlike Ace during weekends.)

Ace likes to mimic Drudge. He shaves off his hair, tucks in his penis, and asks men if they'd like to bang him.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:53 PM (VS/no)

718 >>793 Three things Ace needs to have sex : a woman free environment, a noose and a door. I've never said a thing about YOUR hobbies, dick.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:53 PM (QbA6l)

719 Laura's only easy on the eyes after you gouge them out.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:55 PM (zyopO)

720

Three things Ace needs to have sex : a woman free environment, a noose and a door.

Corpse of former martial artist star optional.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:55 PM (qF8q3)

721 798 Laura's only easy on the eyes after you gouge them out.

Yours or hers?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 02:55 PM (VS/no)

722

And your hand to your dick.

I'm not BrewFan.

True elsi I would have said, "And both your hands to your dick"

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:56 PM (5bOSR)

723 I'm not saying LauraW's slept around, but there's a group of about 15,000 guys with victim-bracelets that say "Coalition of the Willing."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:56 PM (QbA6l)

724 Hate to break it to you fellas, but whacking your pud to Rosie O'Donnell in Exit to Eden is not a real "sex life".

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 02:56 PM (PJJWW)

725

This is the type of thing you say that tips people 'in the know' that you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Oh he knows ALL about self love. He's always regaling the ONT with tales of his blue pulsating blade.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at September 03, 2010 02:56 PM (cniXs)

726 Laura's only easy on the eyes after you gouge them out.

Yeah, but she's hell on the penicillin.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 02:57 PM (d6YMA)

727

Laura's only easy on the eyes after you gouge them out.

Laura's only easy on the eyes when she's brewing up a concoction in her cauldron.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:57 PM (qF8q3)

728 >>> Hate to break it to you fellas, but whacking your pud to Rosie O'Donnell in Exit to Eden is not a real "sex life". Can be.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:57 PM (QbA6l)

729 Thanks Ace, and sorry about shooting you at the picnic last July.

I really thought you were a woodchuck.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (DbybK)

730 Laura is easy on the eyes when compared to having 3 dozen acid dipped needles heated to 300 degrees inserted one at a time into your eyes, but it is close.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (5bOSR)

731 LauraW: ER Docs show her picture to those guys with the 4+ hour boners for instant detumesence.

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (2g2ex)

732

True elsi I would have said, "And both your hands to your dick"

Oh, then I'm not YOU.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (qF8q3)

733 >803 Hate to break it to you fellas, but whacking your pud to Rosie O'Donnell in Exit to Eden is not a real "sex life".

That's why I focus on Dana Delaney.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (xtAfO)

734 Both, Wyatt. Better safe than sorry.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 02:58 PM (zyopO)

735 1980 KISS WORLD TOUR * Stockholm * Frankfurt * Paris * Berlin * LauraW

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 02:59 PM (QbA6l)

736 Eh, I need another chick, it doesn't feel right busting LauraW's chops. Seriously, she's sweet as sugar (and I don't mean that in a cutting way).

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (QbA6l)

737 Now that's funny.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (xtAfO)

738 I'm not saying LauraW's slept around, but there's a group of about 15,000 guys with victim-bracelets that say "Coalition of the Willing."

It's not the sex with Laura that bothered me. It was the post-coital louse grooming.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (d6YMA)

739 For all my LauraW. jokes, cross out "LauraW" and replace with "JeffB.," just imagine it with smaller external genitals.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (QbA6l)

740 Arizona is considering putting up a border fence around Laura's cooter - the keep the illegals in!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (VS/no)

741

True elsi I would have said, "And both your hands to your dick"

Oh, then I'm not YOU.

True as only Dopey the dwarf can get two hands on ur dick, he posted that a week ago.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:00 PM (5bOSR)

742

1980 KISS WORLD TOUR

* Stockholm

* Frankfurt

* Paris

* Berlin

* LauraW

A second show was added to the last stop.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:01 PM (qF8q3)

743 No way I'm goin near that danged fence.

Posted by: juan mccain at September 03, 2010 03:01 PM (PJJWW)

744 Not true, JeffB has an enormous hyena-clitoris.

He uses it to raid termite mounds.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 03:02 PM (DbybK)

745 I'm not saying that Ace is gay, I'm just saying that I've heard rumors he's having an affair with Mike Castle.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:02 PM (NjYDy)

746 790 Kratos, intercourse is not really a mystical ceremony.

This is the type of thing you say that tips people 'in the know' that you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

Cute that you pretend to be one of these people 'in the know'.

Partial intimacy with Jose-Jalapeno on-a-stick does not make one an expert at intercourse decadence methinks.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 03:02 PM (c0A3e)

747 Eh, I need another chick, it doesn't feel right busting LauraW's chops.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 07:00 PM (QbA6l)

And Wyatt Earp shows up to save the day.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 03:02 PM (pUfK9)

748 Jeff B is hung like a bed bug, and even Rosselini won't touch it.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:03 PM (PJJWW)

749 Ace is so light in the loafers that in real life, his feet never touch the ground.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:03 PM (VS/no)

750

True as only Dopey the dwarf can get two hands on ur dick, he posted that a week ago.

Have you not learned yet to read an entire thread before you open your mouth so you don't stick your foot in whatever room is left after Sullivan's member? Noobs...

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:03 PM (qF8q3)

751 Kratos, you really like videogames, huh? That's cute. I have nephew that likes them, too. He's six.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:04 PM (QbA6l)

752 Let's all get together and buy BB a sense of humor for his eight birthday next year!

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (PJJWW)

753 #804 Oh he knows ALL about self love. He's always regaling the ONT with tales of his blue pulsating blade.

Hey, I'm the best lover I ever had.

Besides, you'd be less contemptuous of the Blade of Olympus if you could see it.

/No, it's not a metaphor.

Posted by: Kratos (Ghost of Sparta) at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (c0A3e)

754 Hey cumbuckets!!!! How's what little you have between your legs hanging????

Posted by: Aewl at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (zu5rR)

755 Well, I have to go to the store now. If there's anyone I haven't offended, leave a 20 on the dresser where your mom does and I'll get to you when I get back.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (d6YMA)

756 Wyatt Earp and JeffB. are having some kind of ritualized Samurai duel of not being funny. It's like watching two masters at work.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (QbA6l)

757

Seriously, she's sweet as sugar (and I don't mean that in a cutting way).

So sayeth Ace's mangina.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (qF8q3)

758 I'm not sayin' Ace is gay, but I saw Pajama Momma drink him under the table.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (zyopO)

759 832 Let's all get together and buy BB a sense of humor for his eight birthday next year!

We can get him a Fudgepacky the Whale cake from Carvel.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:05 PM (VS/no)

760

For all my LauraW. jokes, cross out "LauraW" and replace with "JeffB.," just imagine it with smaller external genitals.

Front or back?

Posted by: Kelly at September 03, 2010 03:06 PM (FLFli)

761 , it doesn't feel right busting LauraW's chops

My God....it's full of pussy

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 03:06 PM (DbybK)

762 It's like an open casting call for Don Rickles impersonators...at the sanitarium.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:06 PM (PJJWW)

763

BB,

No need to descibe the events you experienced last night with Sullivan. btw How is pube collection coming along?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:07 PM (5bOSR)

764

Let's all get together and buy BB a sense of humor for his eight birthday next year!

Poor confused Sifty, still not funny.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:07 PM (qF8q3)

765 Let's all get together and buy BB a sense of humor for his eight birthday next year!

First of all I'm pretty sure BB is a she and I'm also pretty sure we should buy her some fucking support undergarments for her birthday.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:07 PM (NjYDy)

766 My God....it's full of pussy

And it's smells of Val-U-Rite and shame . . .

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:07 PM (VS/no)

767

you'd be less contemptuous of the Blade of Olympus if you could see it.

Then I'd have to put my eyes out, like everyone thats seen lauraw's nekkid hump.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at September 03, 2010 03:08 PM (cniXs)

768

No need to descibe the events you experienced last night with Sullivan.

Trust me, I would never watch you and him, much less describe it.

btw How is pube collection coming along?

Open your mouth and I'll check your teeth for you.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:09 PM (qF8q3)

769 815 Eh, I need another chick, it doesn't feel right busting LauraW's chops.

Bring it on-

Posted by: Museisluse at September 03, 2010 03:09 PM (DTfXb)

770 >>>My God....it's full of pussy Well in that case, Whorey McFuckbucket, I left something at your place. It's my self-respect. It's about the size of a wallet and it might be under your couch with the rubber-wrappers.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:10 PM (QbA6l)

771 You know that article ace linked about 2.5 million British men being too fat to see their own shlong? Well, it would still be true of ace even if he was Kate Moss after she spent 2 years in Auschwitz bunking with her blow dealer.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 03:10 PM (pUfK9)

772 The only thing bebe's boobs destroy are the poor little squirrels under her when she unsheathes them . . .

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:10 PM (VS/no)

773 My God....it's full of pussy

So what you're saying is that you've been inside Ace too? Which end?

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:10 PM (NjYDy)

774

Trust me, I would never watch you and him, much less describe it.

True you are busy watching Ace and Jeffb in this mystical 69.

You do have a fetish with mouths is that because you still have a fish hook in yours?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:11 PM (5bOSR)

775 JeffB, will you do us a solid and help Ace nut up for this?

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 03:11 PM (DbybK)

776

First of all I'm pretty sure BB is a she and I'm also pretty sure we should buy her some fucking support undergarments for her birthday.

Jeff, Sifty's not going to understand ANY of that. But thanks for trying hard, the "hard" arising from your dwelling upon my underwear.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:11 PM (qF8q3)

777

What's that smell? Guy desperation from last night's ONT?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:12 PM (Wh0W+)

778 Cage Match!

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:12 PM (5bOSR)

779 855 JeffB, will you do us a solid and help Ace nut up for this?

I'm sorry Ace's nut is busy being massaged by Allahpundit's tongue right now. Please leave a message and it'll get back to you when it "busts."

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:12 PM (VS/no)

780 JeffB is to humor what Albert Einstein... is to humor. (Yeah, it's an old one. Like I need my own material for JeffB.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:13 PM (QbA6l)

781 This is a classic duel of not being funny. JeffB. brings a flashy, slashing style of not being funny, and Wyatt Earp comes from a more traditional, "internal" school of not being funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:14 PM (QbA6l)

782

True you are busy watching Ace and Jeffb in this mystical 69.

Yes I am, and you are not even a pale shadow.

You do have a fetish with mouths is that because you still have a fish hook in yours?

Hey, if you don't want me to check your pube collection then don't bring it up. Just like a girl to ask for something and then b**** when you get it.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:14 PM (qF8q3)

783 JeffB, will you do us a solid and help Ace nut up for this?

No can do. There has to be something to work with in the first place.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:15 PM (NjYDy)

784 Don't know what I did to piss you off so much BB.

Was it telling those twelve men to stop raping you in the truck stop restroom? How was I to know it was your idea? How many times do I have to apologize?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:15 PM (PJJWW)

785 Then you've got BB here, he's from a "post-modernist" school of not being funny, combining centuries-old techniques of not being funny with the most cutting-edge "New School" styles of not being funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:15 PM (QbA6l)

786 Fuck me..... friday night and my life sucks so bad that all I can think of doing is reading yet another AoS flame thread. I must shoot myself now.....

Posted by: Aewl at September 03, 2010 03:16 PM (zu5rR)

787

What's that smell? Guy desperation from last night's ONT?

Just like Dave to bring up the rear. And YES, that's what I mean.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:16 PM (qF8q3)

788 Now I'm not saying that Ace is a gutless RINO sellout or anything, but I just got off the phone with Linc Chaffee and he was telling me "Jesus fucking Christ is that Ace ever a gutless RINO sellout."

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:17 PM (NjYDy)

789

So I have learned. BB is a girl who makes:

Paris Hilton actions classy

Lindsey Lohan seem sober

Michelle Obama look human

Rosie O skinny

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:17 PM (5bOSR)

790 I feel like I'm being gang-banged by a hippopotamus and other animals who are not funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:17 PM (QbA6l)

791 Ace's idea of being funny is fucking a woman while wearing clown shoes.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:17 PM (VS/no)

792 Ace would like to take a position on some of the upcoming Republican primaries, but he has to get approval from Allahpundit first.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:18 PM (NjYDy)

793 I must shoot myself now.....

Posted by: Aewl at September 03, 2010 07:16 PM (zu5rR)

Awww you'll be missed. Could you hand me a beer first?

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 03:18 PM (fwSHf)

794 I must shoot myself now.....

Hey, ammo is expensive. How about finding a nice sturdy piece of rope?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:18 PM (VS/no)

795 872... Is that doggy position?

Posted by: Aewl at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (zu5rR)

796 Balance the buget in 7 days by taxing 1 cent per person who enters BB. All holes are taxable.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (5bOSR)

797 Can I have your stereo when you shoot yourself?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (PJJWW)

798

Don't know what I did to piss you off so much BB.

I'm sorry, who are you again?

Was it telling those twelve men to stop raping you in the truck stop restroom? How was I to know it was your idea? How many times do I have to apologize?

And now Sifty tosses out a rape joke. You're still not funny, Sifty. You're really not. You admitted it early on and you're still really, really not. Trust me, stick to the politics. Now that KILLS.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (qF8q3)

799

BB, you remind me a little of my mom, the funny way she would mix up "frustrated" with "flustered" and somehow turn it into "suck my cock".

I sure do miss that woman.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (Wh0W+)

800 Is that doggy position?

No, reverse clown-girl.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:19 PM (VS/no)

801 I feel like I'm being gang-banged by a hippopotamus and other animals who are not funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 07:17 PM (QbA6l)

I wasn't going to bring up your hippo gangbang cause you said not to get personal.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 03:20 PM (fwSHf)

802 There's Ace. Hand me that strap-on.

Posted by: Meghan McCain at September 03, 2010 03:20 PM (QKKT0)

803

I feel like I'm being gang-banged by a hippopotamus, again.

Fixed

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:20 PM (5bOSR)

804 872 Ace would like to take a position on some of the upcoming Republican primaries, but he has to get approval from Allahpundit first.

And by approval, you obviously mean "a facial."

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:20 PM (VS/no)

805 Jeff, Sifty's not going to understand ANY of that. But thanks for trying hard, the "hard" arising from your dwelling upon my underwear.

I believe it was your prominent knockers that caused the distraction. Hence the need for more support.

But then again I have a hard time remembering back so long ago, to a time when Ace of Spades was actually, you know, a funny blog.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:21 PM (NjYDy)

806 I'm not saying Ace is gay but when he played Monopoly growing up his token was a homemade penis. What was troubling was the gnawed head of the penis, with Ace's distinctive vampire teeth marks, and his fascination with buying hotels and yelling "I'm open for business bitches" followed by disrobing and a grabbing of the ankles.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 03:23 PM (xtAfO)

807 Ace is a good enough chap, not necessarily a RINO, even. It's just that he gets so confused sometimes that it helps to have a steady, guiding hand to tell him what to think. That's why Ace likes Allahpundit.

He also like the fact that Allah usually tells him what to think using his cock.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:23 PM (NjYDy)

808 I thought ace sought approval from his father... Suze Orman

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 03:23 PM (pUfK9)

809 JeffB., when you're not here, where else do you go to bore people to tears?

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:24 PM (QbA6l)

810

Anka/Coldcuts 2012

Posted by: sonnyspats at September 03, 2010 03:24 PM (2DxKT)

811

Living Right makes

Paris Hilton look smart

Lindsey Lohan look stable

Barack Obama look noble

Rosie O look anorexic

S/he makes everyone else just look away.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (qF8q3)

812 Ace carries a pair of handcuffs and roller skates wherever he goes - just in case he finally meets Sigfried and Roy.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (VS/no)

813 Your nerd rage turns me on. I think if you keep up that sugar-talk I can rub one out on your picture. Your sister isn't here with my money yet so I think I have time..

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (PJJWW)

814

Maybe Jeff B. is a humorless internet scold, then again maybe he's not.

Except he is.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (Wh0W+)

815 890 JeffB., when you're not here, where else do you go to bore people to tears?

His girlfriend's house?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:25 PM (VS/no)

816 sorry the "not funny" joke is a big one on roasts, I don't mean it. (Yes I do.) No but I don't REALLY mean it. (Just a little.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:26 PM (QbA6l)

817 894 Your nerd rage turns me on. I think if you keep up that sugar-talk I can rub one out on your picture.

When did they invent extra-wide lenses for digital cameras?

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:26 PM (VS/no)

818 This is really a good thread... It's got lots of really good jokes, plus Wyatt Earp.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:27 PM (QbA6l)

819

BB the copycat reply. Lamest of the Lame.

BB serves peope so often she has a Happy Meal. Which is quite ironic as all people seen leaving her place are crying or killing themselves.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:27 PM (5bOSR)

820 Keep working hard Ace, and someday, you too can be as successful as Will Wheaton.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:28 PM (VS/no)

821 When Ace was 11 he experienced his 1st boner. His uncle Johnny's in the K-Mart parking lot.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 03:28 PM (xtAfO)

822 Not saying BB lives in a run down area of town, but I once saw someone chasing rats into her building with a stick.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (PJJWW)

823

Keep working hard Ace, and someday, you too can be as successful as Will Wheaton, my boyfriend.

Fixed it for ya Wyatt

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (5bOSR)

824 ace are you apologizing because you thought you hurt some morons feeling or for stealing old roast jokes?

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (fwSHf)

825 This is a classic duel of not being funny. JeffB. brings a flashy, slashing style of not being funny, and Wyatt Earp comes from a more traditional, "internal" school of not being funny.

I defer to a clear, highly-credentialed expert in the field of not being funny.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (NjYDy)

826 903 Not saying BB lives in a run down area of town, but I once saw someone chasing rats into her building with a stick.

That wasn't a stick, it was her post-op penis.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:29 PM (VS/no)

827 I left something at your place.

It's my self-respect.

OK, this explains the neighbors calling the police because they saw a huge woodchuck wearing a buttplug breaking into my house while I was away.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 03:30 PM (DbybK)

828

BB, you remind me a little of my mom, the funny way she would mix up "frustrated" with "flustered" and somehow turn it into "suck my cock".

You know, there's just no reason to flame you when you're flaming yourself.

I believe it was your prominent knockers that caused the distraction. Hence the need for more support.

Gravity has been my friend, and I'm not saying that to stiffen your resolve, so to speak. Not even a little bit.

But then again I have a hard time remembering back so long ago, to a time when Ace of Spades was actually, you know, a funny blog.

Just think back to the days when you and Ace needed a shoehorn to have sex.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:30 PM (qF8q3)

829 This flame war makes the British Space Program look successful.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:31 PM (PJJWW)

830 Fixed it for ya Wyatt

I'm gonna miss you when the big one hits. And by "the big one," I mean your first real orgasm.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:31 PM (VS/no)

831 907 903 Not saying BB lives in a run down area of town, but I once saw someone chasing rats into her building with a stick.

That wasn't a stick, it was her post-op penis.
Those weren't rats, they were dates.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:31 PM (5bOSR)

832 Wyatt Earp really lives up to his name -- except instead of dispensing justice, he's not funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:31 PM (QbA6l)

833

>> Just think back to the days when you and Ace needed a shoehorn to have sex.

...

Try it again, but this time say "wocka wocka" at the end.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:32 PM (Wh0W+)

834 913 Wyatt Earp really lives up to his name -- except instead of dispensing justice, he's not funny.

Okay dammit, that was pretty funny.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:32 PM (VS/no)

835 No need when she already looks like Fozzie Bear . . . from the back.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:32 PM (VS/no)

836

I'm gonna miss you when the big one hits. And by "the big one," I mean your first real orgasm.

We all know what the "big one" means to you. Right JeffB?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:32 PM (5bOSR)

837

Not saying BB lives in a run down area of town, but I once saw someone chasing rats into her building with a stick.

That wasn't a stick, it was her post-op penis.

It's a little sad when a tired transexual reference is funnier than the original attempt.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:33 PM (qF8q3)

838 a tired transexual reference is funnier than the original attempt

Is that what your doctor in Sweden said?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:35 PM (PJJWW)

839

Those weren't rats, they were dates.

Those weren't dates, they were Living Right's ass fleas. And that wasn't my house, it was Sifty's manhole.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:35 PM (qF8q3)

840
I've seen bigger flames rubbing my dick with a stick.

Posted by: Dang at September 03, 2010 03:35 PM (Chg7a)

841 Is that what your doctor in Sweden said?

Brazil. Sweden only does that to beautiful people.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:35 PM (VS/no)

842 921
I've seen bigger flames rubbing my dick with a stick.

That explains the third-degree burns on Ace's hands.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:36 PM (VS/no)

843

Is that what your doctor in Sweden said?

I wouldn't be surprised to discover your lack of funny is internationally known.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:36 PM (qF8q3)

844 Not saying that BB is used up, but only King Kong could carry her like a six pack.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:36 PM (5bOSR)

845 Seriously, she's sweet as sugar (and I don't mean that in a cutting way).

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 07:00 P

Guess that explains the trail of ants....

Posted by: MrScribbler at September 03, 2010 03:37 PM (Ulu3i)

846 >>>Okay dammit, that was pretty funny. Thanks. The "not funny" jokes are among my favorites on roasts. That one was mine, but they tend to have the same basic pattern so it's not really mine.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:37 PM (QbA6l)

847 When Spielberg and Lucas were writing the snake pit scene for Raiders of the Lost Ark they modeled it after lauraw's cooter.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 03:38 PM (pUfK9)

848

Brazil. Sweden only does that to beautiful people.

Azerbaijan does it for Wyatt's species.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:38 PM (qF8q3)

849

>> so it's not really mine.

I thought all the not funny jokes were yours.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:39 PM (Wh0W+)

850 >>>I thought all the not funny jokes were yours. Come on, Dave, don't say that! You know you're integral to this site!!!!

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:40 PM (QbA6l)

851 BB makes the Phantom Menace look good.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:40 PM (PJJWW)

852 929 When Spielberg and Lucas were writing the snake pit scene for Raiders of the Lost Ark they modeled it after lauraw's cooter.

Laura's cooter doesn't hold snakes, silly. They would get eaten by the crocs!

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:40 PM (VS/no)

853

Not saying that BB is used up, but only King Kong could carry her like a six pack.

Great, as per usual the perverts get fixated on my parts. Stop chubbing, would you? There no need to be more disgusting.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:40 PM (qF8q3)

854
Dave in Texas does all his whorin' at Dollar Tree. He brings coupons.

Posted by: Dang at September 03, 2010 03:40 PM (Chg7a)

855

I was just following the general tone.

Hey, I have to go for a while, the pizza is here.

And by pizza I mean "your sister".

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:42 PM (Wh0W+)

856 Sorry BB after seeing your face I thought being more disgusting was impossible.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:42 PM (5bOSR)

857

BB makes the Phantom Menace look good.

Sifty makes the Phantom Menace look funny. Like, hilarious funny.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:42 PM (qF8q3)

858 Dave in Texas, were your parents first cousins who were also not funny? (Stolen from The Office.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:42 PM (QbA6l)

859 Are you cheesedicks still at this? Jesus, I would be embarrassed for you if I actually gave a shit about any of you.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (VW9/y)

860

Sorry BB after seeing your face I thought being more disgusting was impossible.

That wasn't my face, it was Sifty's sense of humor.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (qF8q3)

861 I remember in the'05 flame war sockpuppetting Jeff B for an hour by having my trained monkey randomly hitting letters on the keyboard. Everyone agreed I was 50% funnier.

Posted by: Dr Sapnk at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (xtAfO)

862 Jesus, I would be embarrassed for you if I actually gave a shit about any of you.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 07:43 PM (VW9/y)

So you're voting straight Democrat this fall, huh?

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 03:43 PM (pUfK9)

863 SackJaw why did you mis-type your name?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:44 PM (5bOSR)

864 No matter how much you try to flirt with us on here, BB, we don't give autographs and we won't let you in the fan club.

If I throw a stick, will you go sit in the dark and watch Twilight?

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:44 PM (PJJWW)

865 Like really howlingly funny. And even in a non-gay way.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:44 PM (qF8q3)

866
JackStraw uses drinking straws as a PocketPussyÂ®.

Posted by: Dang at September 03, 2010 03:44 PM (Chg7a)

867

Is "fiscal ferret" really Lauraw?

Or have I just flamed 2 people?

Posted by: Quint&Jessel, Sea of Azof, Bly, UK at September 03, 2010 03:46 PM (1kwr2)

868 Oh look, JackStraw made it.
Listen, I've been meaning to ask you; how come after you spend quality time with your dog, your breath smells like peanut butter?

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 03:46 PM (DbybK)

869 >>>Are you cheesedicks still at this? Jesus, I would be embarrassed for you if I actually gave a shit about any of you. Little known fact: The name "JackStraw" refers to a Revolutionary-Era ghost who would sneak into children's bedrooms and then not be funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:46 PM (QbA6l)

870

No matter how much you try to flirt with us on here, BB, we don't give autographs and we won't let you in the fan club.

If I throw a stick, will you go sit in the dark and watch Twilight?

Still not funny, and now you're adding unoriginal. Well, okay, you actually added that a long time ago, but I thought I'd be polite.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:47 PM (qF8q3)

871 your momma's so black.......night school...............

Posted by: epic fail at ethnic humor at September 03, 2010 03:48 PM (dPcmp)

872 Benny Hill was funnier than Ace, and even he had the decency to shave his back once in a while.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:48 PM (VS/no)

873 JackStraw actually named himself after a Grateful Dead song. Interpret that as you will.

I interpret it to mean that he's a retard, but that's just my analysis.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:48 PM (NjYDy)

874 ace is the ninja of not funny. only shorter.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:48 PM (PJJWW)

875 Oh I didn't notice you, sifty. I guess you get that a lot.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:49 PM (QbA6l)

876

Benny Hill was funnier than Ace, and even he had the decency to shave his back once in a while.

I think you are biased, JeffB told us about the Benny Hill tattoo you have

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:50 PM (5bOSR)

877 ...........ten cases of whiskey, one hundred Irishmen, ten thousand dollars, and a pair of dice.......

Posted by: epic fail at ethnic humor at September 03, 2010 03:51 PM (dPcmp)

878 I do. And I'm filled with shame.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:51 PM (PJJWW)

879 Ace once told me that the part of Motorhead's classic "Ace Of Spades" he loves the most is the crazy-awesome middle section where Lemmy takes a sweet guitar break and suddenly the band stops being funny at all, for the rest of their career.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 03:51 PM (NjYDy)

880 Do not compare ace to Benny Hill. Benny Hill was often surrounded by good looking women.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (PJJWW)

881 960 I do. And I'm filled with shame.

That white sticky substance isn't shame. Oh wait, it is.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (xtAfO)

882

People keep saying Ace is short, is that short on;

Brains

Humor

Height

Size

???

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:52 PM (5bOSR)

883 Whenever Jeff B. posts, it's like an empty auditorium where you can hear the crickets, and the crickets are saying, "I don't get it."

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:53 PM (QbA6l)

884

Wow, both Sifty and LR are so unfunny, there was a time when they...

Jeez, they're so unfunny they don't even lend themselves to parody.

Enjoy your fab Friday night, losers. Life is calling the rest of us to join it and leaving you out on purpose.

Posted by: BB at September 03, 2010 03:54 PM (qF8q3)

885 BTW, I notice it's "Living Right in CA" and not "Living Funny in CA." Good call.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:54 PM (QbA6l)

886 Spank can get a woman pregnant by burping in her face. In the unlikely event one ever gets that close.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 03:54 PM (PJJWW)

887

BB,

Enjoy your partners.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:54 PM (5bOSR)

888

LauraW is kind of funny.

For a girl, I mean.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 03:54 PM (Wh0W+)

889

Hi Laura. I'm surprised to see you off your back this early on a Friday night. Curfew at the middle school get called early on account of the storm?

No worries, you can make it up givng blumpkins at the I-95 truck stop tomorrow.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 03:55 PM (VW9/y)

890

People keep saying Ace is short, is that short on;

Brains

Humor

Height

Size

???

Yes.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:55 PM (VS/no)

891

BTW, I notice it's "Living Right in CA" and not "Living Funny in CA."

Good call.

Especially while reading your blog.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 03:55 PM (5bOSR)

892 For a girl, I mean.

LauraW is a girl like Ace is funny.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 03:55 PM (VS/no)

893 JackStraw was killed by treachery in an old Mic-Mac burial ground, and when he came back to life he was ten feet tall and not funny.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 03:56 PM (QbA6l)

894

I guess you must be right, ace. If there's anyone who shold know about not funny it would be you.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 03:57 PM (VW9/y)

895

977 Well, I believe in giving credit where credit is due.... at least Ace hasn't double posted any of the jokes he has stolen so far.

But he did double-park in Jeffb at a Holiday-Inn Express last night.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 04:01 PM (5bOSR)

896 I feel a great disturbance in the Force. It's as if millions of Ace's jokes suddenly cried out in terror, then were not funny.

Posted by: obi won kenobi at September 03, 2010 04:01 PM (PJJWW)

897 979 I feel a great disturbance in the Force. It's as if millions of Ace's jokes suddenly cried out in terror, then were not funny.

It would be the first time anyone cried out near Ace. Lord knows his girlfriends never do.

Posted by: Wyatt Earp at September 03, 2010 04:04 PM (VS/no)

898

People keep saying Ace is short, is that short on;

Brains

Humor

Height

Size

???

I think what he's really short on is tolerance; tolerance for the tragically unfunny. He's also short on a career path that doesn't include blowing dudes for beef jerky money.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:04 PM (xtAfO)

899

>> Dave in Texas, were your parents first cousins who were also not funny?

I admire a well crafted, funny flame joke as much as anybody.

Do you think you could do one of those?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 04:05 PM (Wh0W+)

900 Ace! Ace! before you type, wipe your chin!

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 03, 2010 04:07 PM (5bOSR)

901 Great, a faux Texan insulting a faux conservative.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:07 PM (xtAfO)

902 When Ace was checking for side-effects of Klonopin, he failed to notice that one of them was not being funny.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 04:09 PM (NjYDy)

903 Dave could you tell us some more stories about your pool. God knows, that never gets old. I may just spooge in my pants when you move on to the landscaping.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (VW9/y)

904 You guys are still at this?

Did anybody say anything funny while I was gone? Or before I left?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (rbfTh)

905 Apparently, one of the side effects of blogging is not being funny.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:10 PM (xtAfO)

906

Jackstraw, no running, no diving, no glass, no spooging, and no funny.

Did I miss anything?

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 04:11 PM (Wh0W+)

907

You know how to knock Ace to his knees?

Just say "Blow Me".

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 03, 2010 04:11 PM (5bOSR)

908 I didn't know a condition of your parole was not being funny. Way to stick to it.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 04:12 PM (PJJWW)

909

Did anybody say anything funny while I was gone? Or before I left?

Just me and Joe

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 04:12 PM (5bOSR)

910 Did anybody say anything funny while I was gone? Or before I left?

Dunno when you left, but it's pretty much just been the "pros" riffing hilariously here for the last several hundred posts. And by "pros" I mean "people who are funny."

Ace has also written a few posts.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 04:13 PM (NjYDy)

911 Holy crap. Is this still going on?

You think you're a wit, I think you're half right.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at September 03, 2010 04:13 PM (L8kaT)

912 >>Great, a faux Texan insulting a faux conservative. Contrary to popular belief, it's not just rump rangers who use the word faux. Some pedophiles do too.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 04:13 PM (VW9/y)

913 I haven't seen you all this happy since you parachuted into the cornfield naked.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 04:13 PM (PJJWW)

914 If screwing kids is wrong I don't wanna be right.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:14 PM (xtAfO)

915 >>Did anybody say anything funny while I was gone? Here's one: Roses are red Violets are blue Last night the AV Club Fucked Mrs. Morgenholz in the mouth. (Credit to AndrewR.)

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 04:14 PM (QbA6l)

916

996 I haven't seen you all this happy since you parachuted into the cornfield naked.

And we haven't seen you this unfunny since 8:12pm.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 04:14 PM (5bOSR)

917 I like where this is going.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at September 03, 2010 04:15 PM (rbfTh)

918 One thousandth!

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:15 PM (xtAfO)

919 I'm on West Coast time, I have three hours of unfunny until then.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 04:16 PM (PJJWW)

920 1001 is good.. I'm out. PEACE!

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 04:16 PM (QbA6l)

921 Last night the AV Club

Fucked Mrs. Morgenholz in the mouth.

I take back everything I said about the AV guys. They're brave.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:16 PM (rbfTh)

922 By Ace you stoopid m........

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 04:17 PM (5bOSR)

923 I gotta go hit the books ad find some lamer jokes. See you happy freaks at Boy's Town.

Posted by: sifty at September 03, 2010 04:18 PM (PJJWW)

924 I'm out too. It's been real. A sad, unfunny real.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:18 PM (xtAfO)

925 Did anybody else just feel teh funny go up in here?

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:18 PM (rbfTh)

926 Here's one:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Last night the AV Club

Fucked Mrs. Morgenholz in the mouth.

Hey Ace, you stole that wholesale from the #1 winner of the original flamewar thread. You just repurposed it a bit.

Sort of how you stole your 2010 Mike Castle endorsement from your 2004 Arlen Specter one.

Posted by: Jeff B. at September 03, 2010 04:19 PM (NjYDy)

927 I'm going to a yawning festival to watch a chess tournament where the humor will be better.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 04:19 PM (5bOSR)

928 Hey Herr, one of your sexy goats is loose in the back forty.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 04:19 PM (xtAfO)

929 Hey Ace, you stole that wholesale from the #1 winner of the original flamewar thread. You just repurposed it a bit.

He gave credit to the original author, just like he does with 40% of the shit he takes from Hot Air.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:20 PM (rbfTh)

930 Hey Herr, one of your sexy goats is loose in the back forty.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 08:19 PM (xtAfO)

Easily identified as the one with your Mom's cock in it.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:21 PM (rbfTh)

931 Well, I clearly came in at the tail end of this one. Kind of like Ace in his Law School class. Later all.

Posted by: Herr Morgenholz at September 03, 2010 04:23 PM (rbfTh)

932 Things JackStraw has had to have surgically removed from his rectum:

A Star Wars action figure; a bottle of Robitussin; a ballpeen hammer; Dave in Texas.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 04:24 PM (DbybK)

933 Ace of Spades comments: Where funny goes to die.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 04:27 PM (X0Ona)

934 Hey, Laura, you know what would be funny? Not you.

Posted by: XBradTC at September 03, 2010 04:28 PM (X0Ona)

935 Chit..flame war and I'm late....Hmrpt.
Call me next time and I'll bring the butane.

Posted by: EZB at September 03, 2010 04:34 PM (fa9yq)

936 http://preview.tinyurl.com/2ecfzeb dedicated to us?

Posted by: j2 at September 03, 2010 04:47 PM (DCdSz)

937 BradXTC's drivers licence: RACE: CAUCASIAN HEIGHT: 5'10" WEIGHT: 170 FUNNY: NOT

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 04:47 PM (QbA6l)

938

>> WEIGHT: 170

ok, that was funny.

Posted by: Dave in Texas at September 03, 2010 04:49 PM (Wh0W+)

939 BradXTC's drivers licence:

RACE: CAUCASIAN

HEIGHT: 5'10"

WEIGHT: 170

FUNNY: NOT

SEX: FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK..

Posted by: huerfano at September 03, 2010 04:50 PM (No0N3)

940 ace? http://tinyurl.com/39l4w2f on tour?

Posted by: j2 at September 03, 2010 04:55 PM (DCdSz)

941 I'm trading "jokes" with people whose idea of humor is a limerick, and whose idea of a "limerick" is wiping a booger on your toothbrush.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 04:55 PM (QbA6l)

942 I'm trading "jokes" with people whose idea of humor is a limerick, and whose idea of a "limerick" is wiping a booger on your toothbrush.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 08:55 PM (QbA6l)

Still better than trading bodily fluids with airport trannies like you normally do.

Posted by: Editor at September 03, 2010 04:59 PM (YX6i/)

943 ( speaks now the busty woman to ace )

is that a gigantic cock in your pants, or are you just glad to see me?

uh, no, wait........

Posted by: Mae West humor, translated from Estonian ) at September 03, 2010 05:03 PM (dPcmp)

944 >>I'm trading "jokes" with people whose idea of humor is a limerick, and whose idea of a "limerick" is wiping a booger on your toothbrush. What the fuck are you whining about, buttercup? I'm sitting here with a town pump from some inbred flyspeck in CT, a low IQ goober from TX who probably stores his shits in mayonnaise jars and, well, you.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 05:15 PM (VW9/y)

945 I'm trading "jokes" with people whose idea of humor is a limerick, and whose idea of a "limerick" is wiping a booger on your toothbrush.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 08:55 PM (QbA6l)

Fuck, the last time I saw something that funny was Jimmy Carters malaise speech.

Posted by: robtr at September 03, 2010 05:37 PM (fwSHf)

946 I do not approve of the salty language being used in this thread. It sickens me. If I wanted dick jokes, I'd follow Ace into the bathroom.

Posted by: Purity Republican at September 03, 2010 05:42 PM (Y81Xa)

947 This thread brightened my day! Thank you to all you fuckheads for making me laugh throughout my entire shitty Friday! For a palate cleanser, here is the chipmunk version of Cee Lo Green's masterpiece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug0VtwoV3ts&feature=related

Posted by: ICBMMan at September 03, 2010 05:58 PM (HE0fz)

948 LauraW is not the "town pump." She is the town spunkbag.

Posted by: ace at September 03, 2010 06:08 PM (QbA6l)

949 First!

Posted by: AD at September 03, 2010 06:12 PM (8DYcd)

950 2 Submitted: Most of you tongue-punch dogs in their fart-boxes.

Laughing too hard to fight back.
Damn. Right out the gate.

Here's my stab at it. Courtesy of Mike Tyson.

You ain't man enough to fuck with me!
I'll fuck you until you love me faggot!

Posted by: 1idvet at September 03, 2010 06:17 PM (iMyIW)

951

How the hell do you link a website with a tinyurl? I could only put the text of the link, but I see others use the tinyurl link.

You see, I actually spend more time in the real world while you geeky-ass, pencil-necked, hooker mattress stains stay in your underground "command centers" (i.e., your mother's basement) punching buttons on keyboards while masturbating to Star Wars comics.

Posted by: ICBMMan at September 03, 2010 06:28 PM (HE0fz)

952 Thank you, Ace.

*looks at JackStraw with a gaze of defiant vindication*

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 06:28 PM (DbybK)

953 >>How the hell do you link a website with a tinyurl? I could only put the text of the link, but I see others use the tinyurl link. Yea, that's a tough one, Rocket Man. Yea play around with ICBMs but you can't figure out this new fangled thing called a computer? No wonder you work for the government. Oh and the underwear go under the pants, thus the name. I think I am going to rename this hurricane Laura. It was supposed to be a big deal but it's just an annoying minor bag of wind fucking up the start of my Labor Day weekend.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 03, 2010 06:38 PM (VW9/y)

954 OMG. Purity Republican, you fucking sicken me. Blow me you uptight, deranged motherfucker. I wish you were dead.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 06:41 PM (xtAfO)

955 I got flamed to shit on this here thread.

There's nothing left but charred bones and tatters of cotton, holy crap.

You people were ON.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 07:21 PM (DbybK)

956 Lauraw must be on the run or the zoo is letting the animals stay up late tonight.

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 07:25 PM (5bOSR)

957 ICBM Man, go to a site such as tinyurl.com or bit.ly and paste your long link into their shortenifying field and they will create a short link for you to cut and paste elsewhere.

Posted by: lauraw at September 03, 2010 07:26 PM (DbybK)

958

Is Ace's real name Stu Padaso?

Posted by: Living_Right_In_CA at September 03, 2010 07:26 PM (5bOSR)

959 ICBMMan, if you use firefox there are add-ons that allow you to shorten the url with a right click then a click on the add-on (shorten this page url). Going to tinyurl is for losers.

Posted by: Dr Spank at September 03, 2010 07:34 PM (xtAfO)

960 http://preview.tinyurl.com/23v9ouj

Posted by: the well of doom at September 03, 2010 08:15 PM (DCdSz)

961

Ahh...thank you, my fellow morons. Hey Jack, I used to work for the government on ICBMs...so...did you actually expect competence from government workers on that as well?! Silly rabbit, lay off the crack.

OK, here is the link of the chipmunk version of Cee Lo Green's musical symphony (which of course is being lnked by this blog several times now!):

http://tinyurl.com/2ecfzeb

Yes, I used tinyurl.com, Dr. Spank, so,

You will blow me.

Posted by: ICBMMan at September 03, 2010 08:26 PM (HE0fz)

962 Goddamn. Of all nights to have a life.

Posted by: Walt Gilbert at September 03, 2010 09:29 PM (UO/Ip)

963 122 Couldn't we have just made this a Charles Johnson shred thread? Those are the best!

CJ was moaning and groaning the other day because someone 'nic-jacked' him on some blog where people had used up their 99 weeks of unemployment comp and 'Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs' was showing them not one ounce of pity. It was a memorable job, people were threatening to track CJ down and beat his ass.

I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did. A whole lot.

Posted by: Downsized Upscale at September 03, 2010 03:26 PM (IhHdM)

Thread winner, as, inexplicably and uncharacteristically, all other Â“commentersÂ” declined to submit satisfactory and sufficiently articulate Â“workÂ”.

More importantly, does anyone have a link, either to the original blog or to LarchesÂ’ declaration of butthurt?

Posted by: Arbalest at September 03, 2010 09:38 PM (VZC6E)

964 ********snore*********

********snore*********

Huh? Wha? Open......flame thread?

Gateway to the reaches of....? Stars aligned with....? A burnt-out AoS Flame Thread?

Oh, brother.....what a letdown.

I see you hurlin' 'round shit just between the gits, and I'm like
Fuck you
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the Colour out of Space wasn't quite to your taste -- and
Fuck you
And fuck her, too....
If the stars weren't malign, and rightly aligned....
Ha, now ain't that some shit?
With the Elder Sign above, I'm missing the love, so
Fuck you
Oo, oo, ooo

There ain't no Ferraris, nowhere on R'lyeh,
But that don't mean I can't take you there.
It's in the Black Book, son; doesn't do much if you run,
'cause the shoggoths don't really care.

I pity the fools that're flamin' other tools
(oh shit they're morons)
Well
(surfing only in their long-johns)
Oo-ooh
They just can wish they were cool
But then the Ewok-man comes 'round and tells 'em again
Fuck you
Oo, oo, ooo

Posted by: cthulhu at September 03, 2010 10:44 PM (/0IOT)

965 I miss Eye-rash Rose!

Posted by: Jimmy Page at September 04, 2010 03:00 AM (9ui6r)

966 Ace = thanks for the tounge bath....no more smegma

uncircumcised member

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