Ace of Spades HQ

April 26, 2010

Germans design "hands free" car steering system based on eye movement
— Purple Avenger

Given that today is boobquake day, this seems pretty relevant, it also seems about as retarded a steering system a human being could possibly design.

...Tired of spinning that steering wheel? Try this: German researchers have developed a new technology that lets drivers steer cars using only their eyes.
Raul Rojas, an artificial intelligence researcher at Berlin's Free University, said Friday that the technology tracks a driver's eye movement and, in turn, steers the car in whatever direction they're looking...

What could possibly go wrong?

Posted by: Purple Avenger at 08:25 AM | Comments (70)
Post contains 105 words, total size 1 kb.

1 <aaah-chuuu!>

Posted by: Garbonzo the Garrulous at April 26, 2010 08:27 AM (zgd5N)

2 Combine this with the car that parallel parks itself and there's fun for the whole family!

Posted by: alexthechick at April 26, 2010 08:28 AM (8WZWv)

3 Who needs their hands free while driving ........ oh , yeah , it's Boobquake Day .

Posted by: Bill D. Cat at April 26, 2010 08:28 AM (a9UO0)

4 We'll need ObamaCare to pay for all the mangled bodies!

Posted by: Barak Obama at April 26, 2010 08:29 AM (A8bHB)

5 A bra as top? That's flouting society's conventions.

Posted by: jackie chiles at April 26, 2010 08:29 AM (ocax6)

6 Damn, look at that chick's booty...AAAAHHHH! Don't hit her!!!!

Posted by: joncelli at April 26, 2010 08:30 AM (RD7QR)

7 I foresee lots of dead girls with big tits.

Posted by: TexasJew at April 26, 2010 08:30 AM (SCOrV)

8 What happens if you look down....or up?

Posted by: Tami at April 26, 2010 08:30 AM (VuLos)

9 #6 - that's it. I live in a college town. The mortality rate would be astronomical.

Posted by: grognard at April 26, 2010 08:30 AM (v0kvW)

What about my kids!?!?

1-800-Call-Sam

Posted by: Sam Bernstein at April 26, 2010 08:31 AM (SjTfm)

11 Hate to be girl in South Beach with this.

Posted by: EC at April 26, 2010 08:31 AM (mAhn3)

12
wow this proves Stephen Hawking is right!

Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 08:31 AM (uFokq)

steers the car in whatever direction they're looking...

[Trying to figure out a way to hook this on a "driving habits of Mrs. Circa" joke without ending up divorced and bankrupt.]

...

[Decides to just let this one lie.]

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at April 26, 2010 08:31 AM (B+qrE)

14 I wonder how sun glasses would work?

Posted by: nevergiveup at April 26, 2010 08:32 AM (0GFWk)

15 My car split in two as soon as I started it.

Posted by: Zombie Marty Feldman at April 26, 2010 08:32 AM (jweZt)

16 What if you look into the sun?

Posted by: SlaveDog at April 26, 2010 08:32 AM (H6Jyg)

17 I test Drove that model and it ripped itself in half at the first intersection!?

Posted by: Sandy Duncan at April 26, 2010 08:32 AM (SjTfm)

*left-right* *left-right*

Posted by: Driver watching windshield wipers at April 26, 2010 08:33 AM (YVZlY)

19 What happens if you look down....or up?

The Hoopty hydraulics pak is extra.

Posted by: Purple Avenger at April 26, 2010 08:33 AM (A8bHB)

man checking out a beautiful girl walking on the sidewalk....

splat ! oops!

Posted by: willow at April 26, 2010 08:34 AM (N5sGL)

21 There are going to be a lot of injured high school girl pedestrians.....

Posted by: Brad at April 26, 2010 08:34 AM (2GsJg)

22 I want one.

Posted by: Peter Falk at April 26, 2010 08:34 AM (wWwJR)

23 Sounds like a good idea!

Posted by: The guy with wandering eye at April 26, 2010 08:34 AM (IhQuA)

24 My Benz keeps stalling. What's the deal?

Posted by: Rep. Nancy Pelosi at April 26, 2010 08:35 AM (zgd5N)

25 "If you do not look where you drive, you'll drive where you look".

These zany Germans! In science, the German scientist are the foremost leaders. It was a German, Herr Doktor Schultz, who wrote a 300-page book on why the storks and other aquatic fowl have a habit of standing on 1 leg.

Posted by: Gerbil Malodor at April 26, 2010 08:35 AM (dP6Ky)

26 I support a National Boobquake Day.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at April 26, 2010 08:36 AM (snlsw)

27 The Mercedes See Class.

Posted by: I'll be here all week.... at April 26, 2010 08:36 AM (uKraB)

28
They left out the part about sticking fiber optic leads in your eyeballs that are connected to a computer. Oh those crazy krauts...they should leave this stuff to the Japanese

Posted by: Mr. Slate at April 26, 2010 08:36 AM (uFokq)

29 at first, I thought this might be cool for quadriplegics but nope, you have to move your head to steer. As of now, I can't think of any useful means for tech like this. Even Eddie Griffin has to look at the porn playing in his screen set in his steering wheel, so it's not good for him either

Posted by: A lowly Aztec at April 26, 2010 08:37 AM (gAmQ1)

30 I'm in!

Posted by: Morty Feldman at April 26, 2010 08:37 AM (VuLos)

31
Easier to masturbate that way while driving in the evil western world.

When I see this: http://tinyurl.com/2cmovs9 I simply can no longer concentrate on driving. I simply must abuse my little Cleric, this new driving system enables me to fulfill the temptation that the evil German woman inflicted upon me without having to stop.

Oh what an evil world we live in.

Posted by: The Horny Cleric with a Boner under my Thobe at April 26, 2010 08:37 AM (27iEn)

32 Busty female joggers hardest hit.

Posted by: Peaches at April 26, 2010 08:37 AM (9Wv2j)

33
It also allows me to eat a kebab while driving.

Posted by: The Horny Cleric with a Boner under my Thobe at April 26, 2010 08:37 AM (27iEn)

34 This is just a retarded version of the aiming system on an Apache Attack Helicopter. Not new tech just a stupid use of tech.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at April 26, 2010 08:38 AM (tf9Ne)

Dear God, why?

Does it come with a pron HUD?

Posted by: Fritz at April 26, 2010 08:38 AM (GwPRU)

36 26 "If you do not look where you drive, you'll drive where you look".

These zany Germans! In science, the German scientist are the foremost leaders. It was a German, Herr Doktor Schultz, who wrote a 300-page book on why the storks and other aquatic fowl have a habit of standing on 1 leg.
Do you want to fill us in on why they stand on 1 leg?

Posted by: 4thGenerationBuck at April 26, 2010 08:39 AM (oxLDq)

37 Where does it steer when you look in the rearview mirrors?

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 08:39 AM (mR7mk)

Passenger: Hey, look out!

Driver, eyes fixated on the road: What?

Passenger: That truck in the left lane just blew a tire!

Driver: Where, over th--

Posted by: reason at April 26, 2010 08:39 AM (q/kmn)

39 Give me 20 good reasons why we need hands to drive in this day-and-age.
Too late! Full steam ahead!

Posted by: fb at April 26, 2010 08:40 AM (G60Nl)

40 What if you look into the sun? Posted by: SlaveDog at April 26, 2010 12:32 PM (H6Jyg) You explode-- a side effect.

Posted by: nevergiveup at April 26, 2010 08:41 AM (0GFWk)

41 I'd prefer an autonomous car to an eye-guided one. Most drivers are easily-distracted nutcases. I'd much prefer a computer to the average driver yakking on his phone, texting, sexting, watching a Youtube video, spending 30 seconds changing his automatic climate control by 1 degree, staring intently at his passenger, yelling at the kids in the back seat, driving with at fucking dog on his lap, etc.

Posted by: Waterhouse at April 26, 2010 08:44 AM (rOd1g)

42 IP = 119.127.203.103

Posted by: spammer at April 26, 2010 08:44 AM (jjvYc)

43 Nothing good can come of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIHFJCq11Ls

Pretty much sums it up...

Posted by: Don at April 26, 2010 08:52 AM (i4/z2)

44 There was a news item few days back from somewhere in Europe they have top less women holding 'go slow' signs by the side of highways.

We need to put these two ideas together, just to see what we get.

Posted by: Tushar at April 26, 2010 08:54 AM (KXhmI)

The Boss should be here in Six Minutes...I've got one eye on the Clock.

Posted by: Sandy Duncan at April 26, 2010 08:54 AM (SjTfm)

"driving with at fucking dog on his lap, etc."

Newsletter?

Posted by: Toby the Beagle's owner at April 26, 2010 08:56 AM (+hPIb)

Honestly, occifer, I wasn't drinking this time!

Posted by: Paris Hilton at April 26, 2010 08:58 AM (+hPIb)

48 I have a lazy eye. Will I need to get a wheel alignment at the end of each day?

Posted by: Marty Feldman at April 26, 2010 08:59 AM (kmi34)

49 I'd much prefer a computer to the average driver

But I refuse to let a computer drive me around. I want to go faster than the posted limit, dammit.

Posted by: HeatherRadish at April 26, 2010 09:01 AM (mR7mk)

50 I want one too!

Posted by: Gov. Patterson at April 26, 2010 09:01 AM (wWwJR)

51 "Grasshopper, why car not moving?"

Posted by: Master Po at April 26, 2010 09:03 AM (kmi34)

This is all crazy talk. If you want to go from point A to point B without driving, take a bus. Otherwise, one finger at 6:00 and away we go. Unless we're on state and county roads with expanded expansion joints and with only about 12' of asphalt between. Couldn't get up a lot of speed in the red rocket under those conditions without going airborn. Plus, required both hands firmly gripping the wheel to maintain the desired trajectory. Twitchy suspension on a short wheelbase over broken pavement = extreme focus. Otherwise, one finger at 6:00.

After the caucus Saturday, drove over to look at the wind turbine array west of Storm Lake. A lot of prairie and farm land has been torn up to plant those gizmo's. I can't look at them without imagining the Walgreen's sized block of cement beneath the surface that anchor them in place.

Posted by: iowavette at April 26, 2010 09:05 AM (0JTac)

53 Headline of the future:

Hot People Being Run Over By Cars At An Alarming Rate

Posted by: Mary Beth at April 26, 2010 09:06 AM (JPEqm)

54 Damn, these things are really hard to keep on the road!

Posted by: Michael J. Fox at April 26, 2010 09:07 AM (wWwJR)

55 I was thinking, "MASS BABE-ICIDE IN THE STREETS!!!"

Posted by: Jeanne at April 26, 2010 09:20 AM (TVTcm)

56 Oh what an evil world we live in. Okay, Frau Bundeskanzlerin has quite a rack. Just typing that is weird.

Posted by: joncelli at April 26, 2010 09:33 AM (RD7QR)

57 I live in SoCal - we'd have to pass a burqa law to make these things safe.

Posted by: societyis2blame at April 26, 2010 09:34 AM (rP8xu)

Not a joke, "distracted by beautiful woman" used to be a valid defense for causing minor accidents, in Italy. I cannot say whether this still applies, but FIAT has taken over Chrysler.

Posted by: comatus at April 26, 2010 09:36 AM (/VEEI)

59 Well if it's from Germany they'll be lots of accidents caused by male german drivers looking at 12 year old boy's asses.

Posted by: LtE113 at April 26, 2010 10:07 AM (3NFq/)

60 Hitler had a similar invention but it directed the Wehrmacht to wherever he looked on a map.

Posted by: Cicero at April 26, 2010 10:16 AM (QKKT0)

61 This is going to make me drive my car up chix asses.

Posted by: rdbrewer at April 26, 2010 10:53 AM (mK4Ek)

62 Meanwhile, Toyota can't make a simple accelerator pedal, or maybe the software interacting with it. Surely something simpler, like this, will not tax the QA team.....

Posted by: chuckR at April 26, 2010 10:55 AM (XLu7l)

63 33 Busty female joggers hardest hit.
Posted by: Peaches at April 26, 2010 12:37 PM

THREAD WINNAH!!!

Posted by: FORGER - Racist Czar at April 26, 2010 11:37 AM (eQC4r)

64 But if using your eyes for steering seems to tricky anyway, the researchers already have an alternative: Use your iPhone instead. In fall last year they presented a technology that allows to use Apple's smart phone as remote control for the car.

Brilliant, nobody could ever possibly hack as impressive and secure a device as an iPhone, it couldn't fail. There's no downside to having your car drive itself on automatic from directions remotely applied from your iPhone, and downloaded from the internet.

Posted by: Gekkobear at April 26, 2010 12:36 PM (X0NX1)

I've gotta get me one of these!

Posted by: Mr. Magoo at April 26, 2010 12:46 PM (2g2ex)

That joke has the same story line as this oldy but goody.

http://tinyurl.com/2ejy2fb

Posted by: hounddog at April 26, 2010 01:47 PM (Sogoo)

67 Can you imagine these vehicle being driven by an illegal alien with the cops in hot pursuit. 100 MPH straight across the desert.

Posted by: Buffalobob at April 26, 2010 01:52 PM (Wb8EN)

68 I always drive defensively. So if I put a picture of a really ugly naked woman on my car, I will be safer as other cars veer away, right? Any names come to mind for the woman?

Posted by: snookered at April 26, 2010 04:30 PM (jchJh)

69 #70, you referring to the Ole Frothinslosh 'babe'? BTW, what happens when you check your side mirrors? Or you drop a lit cigarette on your lap and start frantically searching for it? Oh wait, that second's gonna cause an accident anyway...

Posted by: Fyzycyst at April 26, 2010 06:19 PM (ng3i7)

70 Wonder what would happen if one had the tendency to blink. The engine switches on and off?

Posted by: czekmark at April 27, 2010 02:45 AM (WqdjW)

Hide Comments | Add Comment | Refresh | Top

Comments are disabled. Post is locked.

94kb generated in CPU 0.1852, elapsed 0.2864 seconds.
64 queries taking 0.2362 seconds, 198 records returned.
Powered by Minx 1.1.6c-pink.