1 Sounds like a fun porno to me.

2 You usually have to have sex before you have a daughter.

3 Them's my kind of girls!!!

4 The up side is that I feel ladylike and wholesome in comparison. I don't get that a lot.

5 Dear Penthouse -

I never thought this would happen to me.  I was catering a party for a bunch of hot mama sorority girls and you won't believe what happened next...

6 4 The up side is that I feel ladylike and wholesome in comparison. I don't get that a lot.


I think prostitutes are ladylike in comparison.(No offense)

7 The time has come for someone to put his foot down.  And that foot is me.

8 That sounds like an average weekend outside of Ft Hood and other bases I was stationed at in the late 80's.....

9

Pi Beta Phi (TSG link pg 1)

Pi Delta Phi

Phi Delta Pi (TSG link page 4)

Phi Delta Phi (the legal fraternity???WTF??)

Which fucking group is it?  And how drunk were you when writing this?

10 The up side is that I feel ladylike and wholesome in comparison. I don't get that a lot.

Posted by: AngelEm at May 24, 2010 06:59 PM (Aq93A)

I assume you cover this in your newsletter, to which I'd like to subscribe.

11 What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you're gonna let it be the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Wormer, he's a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer...

12 OK, normally I'm pretty up on my oblique references, but "Jamaican-Drum"??

13 But did they catalog and recycle their feces, in the name of Gaia?

14 That letter, too, complains of the stankwhore trinity of vomiting, public sex, and human feces. It's good to know the future ladies of America are now willfully engaging in behavior one previously could only find in a John Thomas German extreme-porn video.

Reminds me of the Infamous 1400 thread for some reason

15  Wow.   Many of these women will have daughters one day. (Shudder.) One would hope that they'll eventually grow up, but a lot of kids nowadays were raised with no moral bearings.

16
Don't sororities and frats have differing names, though, and yet are part of the same organization? I dunno. I wasn't in one.

God Damn Independent.

17 13 But did they catalog and recycle their feces, in the name of Gaia?
Posted by: Al Gore at May 24, 2010 07:05 PM

We did in my sorority. I even wrote songs about my poop

18

attendees engaged in sex acts, used plates as "missiles" during food fights, vomited on carpets, defecated in urinals, and tried to tear off the clothes of a female bartender

College has changed.

19 stankwhore trinity of vomiting, public sex, and human feces

Or as we call this at my house.... Tuesday night.  

20 OMG! Are they accepting new members?

21 Oh the stories I could tell... Lets just say it can be hard to lecture on days like today (over 90 near Chicago) when girls knowing wear very little to class. They also must know I can see what there is to be seen when they do not cross their legs under their desks in a classroom that is theatre style. It's not like I have to go out of my way to look - it's more the opposite. Heck, some have even made it easier for me to see certain things as the lecture went on.

22

Vomit.  Feces. Public sex.  Sounds like a typical Hamptons weekend for me.  Except for the girls.

23 Mein Gott! Heinz! Kaufe uns Flugtickets nach Ohio, sofort!

24

College has changed.

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 07:09 PM (KM7Go)

They used to shit in the shitter?

25

They also must know I can see what there is to be seen when they do not cross their legs under their desks in a classroom that is theatre style. It's not like I have to go out of my way to look - it's more the opposite.

Must be like performing for an audience of clams.

26 Man, even I wouldn't go near that kind of strange...

27 If you take the shit and vomit out of the equation, I'd like to party with these chicks (preferable not on my own property).

28 Sororities are for girls who buy their friends, because they can't make any on their own.

29
I've heard that certain Catholic abbeys monasteries private girl's schools are highly recommended for remedial schooling in manners and etiquette. Perhaps Our Lady of Perpetual Discipline and Obedience (in Bavaria?) ......

_{If only there was video ...}

30

Must be like performing for an audience of clams.

Posted by: Cicero at May 24, 2010 07:11 PM (QKKT0)

Each with a delicate pearl resting on the lips of their shell?

31 Disgusting.  They shit in the urinals and didn't even make a notation of it in the logbook.  The book is posted right on the door!

32 College has changed.

Hey rd, I think we've found "some of those cool chix" you were pining for last night.

33 For a minute, I was stuck on the image of a sorority girl defecating in a urinal -- then I remembered that the urinals are in the men's rooms and so it might well have been one of the girl's dates leaving that souvenir for the cleaning crew.  Not that it makes much difference: sounds like the young ladies were matching their beaux's antics trick for trick.

34 For a minute, I was stuck on the image of a sorority girl defecating in a urinal -- then I remembered that the urinals are in the men's rooms and so it might well have been one of the girl's dates leaving that souvenir for the cleaning crew.

What I'm stuck on is that there's no toilet paper within reach of the urinals.

35 I've been reading textsfromlastnight and if I had a kid?  Never leaving the house ever.

36 Ohio U == major party school

37

How charming of these young "ladies".

Nothing new though -- barn I used to work for rented out their riding arena to the Greeks and other college groups for those barn dance thingamajigys and stuff like that.  Paid $100 over and 50 under to do "security" (meh, it wasn't bad cash for just one night).  Stripping (both sexes) on the dance floor; sex on the "dance floor", sex out in the stable's manure pit even (how drunk do you have to be to engage in blowjobs on a steaming pile of horse shit I ask you?  I guess more drunk than I've ever been -- and I didn't think that was possible), barf everywhere, porta-potties trashed...

and that was on parent's weekend with Mom and Dad in tow.

 

 

38

Hey rd, I think we've found "some of those cool chix" you were pining for last night.

Heh.

39 They ought to change their name to Mo Betta Ho.

40 They sound nothing like the Ph Phi's I knew in school.  They were a top house on my campus and were widely respected as a national organization.  What shame a bunch of skanks on a few campuses can tarnish a whole institution.

41 Hey, I can be ladylike. I can also tell jokes that would make construction workers blush. I'm multitalented. Just depends on the audience.

42 OT:  Anybody listen to Slipknot?  Knot anymore you don't.

43 I don't understand the issue with the damages... we did leave a deposit.

44 44 I don't understand the issue with the damages... we did leave a deposit. When I said "deposit", I meant money.

45 Fine the sorority, fine the people if they know who they are, then SHUT the damn thing down. The more I think of how much people spend for a college education the more I think it's a colossal waste of time. They can become brain dead, public fornicating and dead drunk commies without their parents having to fork out 35,000-60,000 a year for it.

46 21 Oh the stories I could tell... Lets just say it can be hard to lecture on days like today (over 90 near Chicago) when girls knowing wear very little to class. They also must know I can see what there is to be seen when they do not cross their legs under their desks in a classroom that is theatre style. It's not like I have to go out of my way to look - it's more the opposite. Heck, some have even made it easier for me to see certain things as the lecture went on. Posted by: Doc at May 24, 2010 07:10 PM (rzJpR) I was in grad school in the mid 1990s, and I remember my advisor and a couple of other professors discussing the beginnings of this trend. They were very buttoned-down old dudes who were quite bewildered and pretty disgusted by it, to tell the truth. They didn't realize a couple of us were working in the lab and could hear them talking in the office.

47 This is what happens when parents fail miserably. I also blame schools and employers for not setting standards of behavior for those in their charge. It used to be abhorrent for parents to allow their children to act in this manner or for a school or employer to have such animals within their institution. The stigma against allowing horrendous uncivilized behavior has been destroyed by years of anything goes (well except conservative ideas) liberalism.

The lack of decency amongst the role models for these women is also troubling. Women like Sarah Palin get painted as awful role models by the MFM, but whorebag actresses gets painted as a saints for adopting third world orphans as a fashion accessories. Honestly, what do we expect when 'women's studies' professors are lecturing people on how prostitutes are the elite class of women for having so much power over men and their bodies, or some garbage like that.

48 Now, if you want to be an out of the ordinary greek house, you have to be clean, decent and act respectably.  Reminds me of a movie plot: "Non-Animal House."

49 Dropping a dook in the urinal is bad, mkay?

50

Dino Rossi is running in Washington...

So at maximum we are looking at 11 seats if everything aligns w/o total catastrophe

North Dakota

Delaware

Arkansas

Indiana

Nevada

Illinois

Pennsylvania

Colorado

Washington

Connecticut

California

btw...only 2 of these states went to McCain in 2008...thats the biggest tell

51 I'll gladly show up at the next one if there's underage children there.

52

So it apparently IS Pi Beta Phi in both instances, with this latest the Ohio Alpha Chapter at Ohio University and the previous instance the Ohio Zeta Chapter at Miami University of Ohio:

Miami, OH (AP) -- Miami University of Ohio has suspended a sorority for a year after a lodge owner complained about damage and unruly behavior at a spring formal including guests urinating in sinks, men scrambling over the bar for drinks, and couples caught having sex.

The action against the Pi Beta Phi Fraternity for Women chapter followed a letter of complaint from the lodge owner to the southwest Ohio schoo about the April event at Lake Lyndsay Lodge, about 30 miles north of Cincinnati.

Pi Beta Phi's national leadership said in a statement it has placed the Miami chapter on probation, "in order to change the culture of the chapter and to ensure it models Pi Beta Phi and Miami University values."

The suspension means the sorority loses its campus dorm suite, can't recruit new members and can't participate as a group in campus activities, Miami spokeswoman Claire Wagner said. There was no answer Tuesday at an Oxford, Ohio, telephone listing for the chapter.

The school suspended the group after an April 30 hearing. The letter from lodge owner Lyndsay Rapier-Phipps recently began circulating online, and in it, she describes many guests arriving intoxicated.

Participants urinated in sinks, vomited and broke a concrete lion and other items. Two couples were caught having sex, some people tried to swim in the lake, someone flipped over the appetizer table, and men climbed over a counter to get drinks after the caterer cut off alcohol. A pile of human feces was found outside the lodge, she wrote.

53 Dino Rossi is running in Washington...

HOT damn!

Thanks for not being a Pataki, Dino.

54 Dropping a dook in the urinal is bad, mkay?

Posted by: Mr. Mackey at May 24, 2010 07:22 PM (saRwI)

Except at Christmas!

55 I've been reading textsfromlastnight and if I had a kid?  Never leaving the house ever.

Posted by: alexthechick at May 24, 2010 07:17 PM (r07cb)

I've got to get out more.

56 Reminds me of a movie plot: "Non-Animal House."

Posted by: rdbrewer at May 24, 2010 07:21 PM (KM7Go)

Vegetable House?

57 46  There is a reason (actually, more than one) that my kids go to the military prior to or instead of college...

58

Posted by: Blue Falcon in Boston at May 24, 2010 07:21 PM (ijjAe)

Or it could just be the Judd Apatow movies.

59

#54

had Guiliani and Pataki taken on Gilly and Schumer, and Tommy Boy actually run in Wisconsin, wed be looking at FOURTEEN potential pickups, and a likely win of 10-11, flipping the Senate.

of course by this time in the year the Dems would be in full on shitting-their-pants mode...

60 I didn't serve in Vietnam just to come home to these craven acts of debauchery.

61 Heck, some have even made it easier for me to see certain things as the lecture went on.

Posted by: Doc at May 24, 2010 07:10 PM (rzJpR)

Suggest you get a webcam and at random moments during your lecture, project the image onto the lecture hall's main screen.  Once their private shows go public once or twice, they may lose interest in trying to make you lose your cool.

62 You've come a long way, baby!

63 Seriously, what kind of twisted one-upswomanship is it that the Ohio University chapter decided it had to out-skank the Miami University chapter?  They already saw their sisters in Zeta Chapter get suspended: did they think that was the mark of ultra-coolness, or did they decide to see if they could do worse shit (literally!) and get away with it?

64 You've come a long way, baby!

Posted by: Virginia Slim at May 24, 2010 07:34 PM (nqCRm)

I'll say!

65 Yet another reason for your kids to go into the trades or the religious life.  (Heck, I couldn't even participate in the 4-letter Words Are Mandatory ONT last night!  I used a sock and put all 12 years' worth of the nuns and priests who beat on me to good use!)

66 had Guiliani and Pataki taken on Gilly and Schumer, and Tommy Boy actually run in Wisconsin, wed be looking at FOURTEEN potential pickups, and a likely win of 10-11, flipping the Senate.

Tell me about it.  In the past I've been more forgiving about these sorts of things, figuring "well, it's their decision", but in times like these it's practically an abdication of duty for these men not to be running when their country needs them the most.  Even worse is that they tease about their intentions until late in the game, scaring off other potential candidates.

I don't think Giuliani was even serious about running for President in '08; he just wanted "former Presidential candidate" on his resume to boost whatever consulting firm he happens to be starting up from week to week.

67

Suggest you get a webcam and at random moments during your lecture, project the image onto the lecture hall's main screen.  Once their private shows go public once or twice, they may lose interest in trying to make you lose your cool.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 07:31 PM (7AOgy)

You mean giving them attention, nay, the spotlight, will chasten them?

68 41 They sound nothing like the Ph Phi's I knew in school.  They were a top house on my campus and were widely respected as a national organization.  What shame a bunch of skanks on a few campuses can tarnish a whole institution.

Posted by: Pike Place Pete at May 24, 2010 07:17 PM (MzTRc)

buzzkiller...

69 My X wife belonged to his sorority at UNC, then it was so la de da,

Now, druggies.

70 We partied really hard back in the day. House parties, frat parties, biker parties, jersery beach parties etc. Passing out, puking I get but the feces thing and trashing a place. Rank amatures. You need to be trusted to be welcomed back to party another day. And I guess sex in the back seat of a car is no longer an option. Amature light weights.

71

Instead of "two girls, one cup" this would be....

72 Seriously, what kind of twisted one-upswomanship is it that the Ohio University chapter decided it had to out-skank the Miami University chapter?  They already saw their sisters in Zeta Chapter get suspended: did they think that was the mark of ultra-coolness, or did they decide to see if they could do worse shit (literally!) and get away with it?

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 07:35 PM

Back in the dark ages when I was in college in Ohio, OU was the school for skanks and can't make it in any other school other than Kent losers.  Sounds like things haven't changed.  Back then at most schools the Frats were wild but the sororities kept it pretty quiet.  Sure there were plenty of sluts but the chapters had a don't ask don't tell or you're out policy.  Alot of the Greeks used their alumni to get into grad schools and get jobs, so any major screw-ups killed your chances, especially for girls.

73

Suggest you get a webcam and at random moments during your lecture, project the image onto the lecture hall's main screen.  Once their private shows go public once or twice, they may lose interest in trying to make you lose your cool.

Posted by: stuiec at May 24, 2010 07:31 PM (7AOgy)

I think that would actually encourage a good number of them.

Think of the things the 7th graders who are sending naked pics of themselves to each other will be doing by the time they get to college.

Thank you, feminazis.  Thank you ever so much.

74 >>>OK, normally I'm pretty up on my oblique references, but "Jamaican-Drum"?? The tin drums, jamaican drums, they play in the Girls Gone Wild commercials.

75 Why not go batshit crazy? Seven years of their life in order to snag that sweet census worker job. They also realize that any one of themmight be spotted by DNCentral Casting and made into a Senator. It's not like you need to study.

76

Ahhh...sorority jokes - I used to know so many of them.

Tri-Delts - everyone else has.

Rattle, rattle, rattle! Here come the cattle! Phi moooooooooooooo.

Klappa Klappa Gonhorrea

*sings*

Chi-O, Chi-O, it's off to bed we go

An SAE on top of me,

Chi-O, Chi-O, Chi-O, Chi-O

Chi-O, Chi-O, it's off to bed we go

A Theta Chi between my thighs,

Chi-O, Chi-O, Chi-O, Chi-O

77 We called them "Pry Thighs."

78 @77-- And to think I was wasting my life having kids while you college people were making something of your lives...

79 Wow - these girls seem like the bring-home-to-mom, marrying kind.  Nice. 

80 Hey, I WENT to Ohio University (BS, '85) and also grew up in the town. This, as described, was tame. 

This is more like the College Republicans meeting, not just a sorority.

Stories about Naked Lake?

How about a local cemetery in the center of a pentagon formed by other cemeteries?

Fun times... fun times....

81 @79: Oh, the bowheads had babies when the condoms broke and the pills failed.  But they had sophisticated babies.....

82 Nothing says "I'm a lady" like defecating in a urinal.

83

The drunkeness and the screwing I can understand.  I was in a fraternity for a while in college (before I got kicked out), and I saw a lot of that.

But the destructiveness and the defecation is just disgusting.

We had pride in our house. We had a lot of fun and drinking, but we wouldn't go out of our way to destroy something, especially if it was ours, or our responsibility.

OU has always been know as a party school in Ohio, but just because it was "out in the boondocks" of Athens, and there wasn't a lot to do there except drink and carouse.

Miami in Oxford was always more of a preppie school. Of course, PJ O'Rourke actually went to Miami, and rumor has it that "Animal House" was loosely based on the antics of PJ and some friends at Miami, but that was in the '60's. 

Criminy, Lyndsay Lake? My niece was married there last May.

84 8 That sounds like an average weekend outside of Ft Hood and other bases I was stationed at in the late 80's.....

Posted by: Gerry Owen at May 24, 2010 07:02 PM (W7JkV)

Really? Different times I guess.  If my platoon had ever done something like that in 29 Stumps, there would have SNCO's from the platoon sergeant all the way to the Sergeant Major fighting over who would sodomize us with the 120-millimeter mortar tube first.

Seriously, pulling stuff like that would get you nailed to the Tree of Woe.

85 I married an Ohio University sorority girl. And am actually thankful she is not into feces. Vomiting and sex are fair game, at least if I have showered that day.

86 I miss college.

87 I miss college too

88 CJ Burch, why'dya get booted out?

89 Rattle, rattle, rattle! Here come the cattle! Phi moooooooooooooo. ... "more cowbell"?

90 South Carolina Power Playah 75: "Steel pans", in Barbados.

But nowadays Bajans listen to reggae.

91 You know, it doesn't surprise me in the least. Anyone from Ohio can tell you Ohio University in Athens is NOTORIOUSLY known for it's partying. And Miami U isn't much better.

92 oops, the above was me.

93 Obviously, it's the end times.

94

89 CJ Burch, why'dya get booted out? -Zimriel

 

Not enough drinking and screwing, I guess.  Plus I had some problems with Linear Algebra and Multivariable Calculus that I could never get over.

95 I don't care if they're skanks. But making that kind of mess knowing someone else has to clean it up is disgusting. Making them pay the bill isn't enough. I believe that a judge should find an institution with the filthiest crappers around and make the selfish little snots and the parents who raised them do a few months of community service cleaning up other people's vomit, shit, and urine.

96 My daughter is a Pi Phi at a school in the South.  I sent her the Smoking Gun link.  She was disgusted.  Not all Pi Phi chapters behave like this.  Shame on them!

97
I've often found that people like that tend to be in very secure positions where they're either on a pension, or they

couldn't be fired unless they were in jail, or they had a nice trust fund or other backstop.

98 The Revaluation of All Values is at hand!

99 But but but.... the children are our future. We are so screwed.

If ye love wealth greater than liberty, the tranquility of servitude greater than the animating contest for freedom, go home from us in peace. We seek not your counsel, nor your arms. Crouch down and lick the hand that feeds you. May your chains set lightly upon you; and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen. – Samuel Adams

100 FYI. The Ohio U skanks were from Pi Beta Phi. The Miami U skanks were from Phi Delta Pi (according to the letter from Lake Lyndsey Lodge linked at The Smoking Gun). That link is under text reading Phi Delta Phi - which is a fraternity for law students.

101 laptop batteries laptop batteries