1 Just put a second hole in the boat to let the water run back out

2

Its the Dutch. The pirates probably got a wine and cheese brunch while aboard.

3 Ridiculous fucking Dutch.Blow the "skiffs"to matchsticks,track down the moother ship and sink it in deep water.

4 Troops aboard the Dutch warship HNLMS Tromp fired warning shots Wednesday off the coast of East Africa as suspected Somali pirates in two small skiffs raced toward their warship, the EU Naval Force said.

Warning shots are for pussies.

5 O/T:  sorry to go off topic so early but this, this is too funny:  "Hacker Disables More Than 100 Cars Remotely"

6 Just don't show any cartoons of Mohamed while blowing them out of the water and the world will probably give it a pass.

7 Potential Darwin awards thwarted .

8

On the subject of scandies,

Here's one who has lived the life Barry wants for all of us and she seems to think that it kinda sucks to be a socialist:

http://tinyurl.com/yk4tj8q

via powerline

9 Somali pirates can't read.  They actually attacked a ship named "Alabama."

Not once, but twice.

10 I just had a bold new idea for adventure holidays.

Hey, the Brits won't do it, the Dutch won't do it, somebody's got to do it.

11
Somali pirates can't read.  They actually attacked a ship named "Alabama."

Not once, but twice.

Posted by: GulfCoastTider at March 17, 2010 10:27 PM (bv1hq)

Yea, that was epically stupid. The last ship I can remember that went around the world sinking ships by that name was the CSS Alabama up to two years after the Civil War had come to a close.

12 "Dutch warship HNLMS Tromp"

Is Tromp Dutch for Trump?  Is he buying naming rights on European warships now?

13

Boy, I'll bet those Somoli pirates won't try that shit again, 'specially since those tough guy Dutch didn't do fucking shit to them. That's right Dutch, just shove the problem down the road so somebody else has to deal with it. Way to be responsible. I'll bet you saved some innocent people a very bad time with that.

Shouldda called the ship the HNLMS Dutch Cupcake.

14

I mean, the Dutch frigate has like one gun on the bow. Maybe the pirates thought they could come up behind it and the Dutch would swing the turret around, fire and blow up the bridge of their own ship.

15 They just don't make pirates like they used to. The Dutch are lame.

16 "A rather silly mistake".

I'm still snickering.

17  It's the Dutch. The pirates probably got a wine and cheese brunch while aboard.       Don't be silly, ve are Dutch.  Ve gave dem beer.   Und, yah, cheese.

 

 

18

I just had a bold new idea for adventure holidays.

Me too. And the worst that will happen is they set me free? Sounds like they just declared open season on commercial shipping.

19 Somali Pirate Fail

20 Why give them back the mothership?  Why not blast holes in all the boats and watch them sink while the pirates swim for shore?  No wonder piracy is a growth industry!

21 I can't believe that. The penalty for piracy is to lose your deposit on small arms? Where do we sign up?

22 The two skiffs were destroyed and the pirates were set free on the mothership after it had been cleared of weapons. The punch line would have been funnier if it read, "...and the pirates were hung by the neck until dead on the beach." I giggle just thinking about it.

23 16 They just don't make pirates like they used to. The Dutch are lame. Posted by: Rat Patrol

The pirates are lamer. I mean, really.

They surrendered to the Dutch, didn't they? And let them clear the mother ship. I mean, please. How pitiful is that?

24 There's a British couple who have been held hostage by pirates in Africa for the better part of a year now...........why didn't they take those pirates hostage till they coughed up the Brits?

25 Dutch Navy Fail

26 Actually, They'd both score a big fat ransom. The trouble comes in commandeering the latter.

27


I think I would make a more intimidating profile patrolling the coast of Somalia drunk off my ass in my bass boat with a shotgun and a Beagle than the Dutch do.

28 Are there any Dutch whores on that ship?

29 How pitiful is that?

Posted by: Dianna at March 17, 2010 10:37 PM (mKMj1)

I bet if they'd have boarded the frigate, the Dutch would have surrendered rather than be accused of being meanies.

30 This qualifies as the dumb criminal of the week. On both sides

31
They surrendered to the Dutch, didn't they? And let them clear the mother ship. I mean, please. How pitiful is that?

Posted by: Dianna at March 17, 2010 10:37 PM (mKMj1)

Surrendered meaning they got a hot bath while a Dutch sailor scrubbed their backs, a hot lunch, a change of clothes, fresh socks and clean underwear and their mother ship got to sail away without being sunk. I would have surrendered too under those terms.

32

Me too. And the worst that will happen is they set me free? Sounds like they just declared open season on commercial shipping.

Posted by: Rat Patrol at March 17, 2010 10:34 PM (dQdrY)

Umm, not _exactly_ what I was thinking.

Think rent-a-PT-boat and get credit back on your rental fee for each pirate ear.

33

Maybe it's a good thing I'm not in charge. I'd change those words "set free" to "summarily executed," but I'm old school that way.

Plus, the Tromp is a great name for a ship.

34

I bet if they'd have boarded the frigate, the Dutch would have surrendered rather than be accused of being meanies.

Posted by: Rat Patrol

Stop reading my mind!

35

I think it's time to bring privateers back. Change the business model to high seas vigilanteism and pay a bounty for pirate ships sunk. Provide a safe harbor to refit and immunity from prosecution.

36

"One of these could score you a big fat ransom. The other one not so much."

I dunno - if they managed to take a warship, they'd have one hell of a bargaining chip.

37

Think rent-a-PT-boat and get credit back on your rental fee for each pirate ear.

Posted by: Merovign, Strong on His Mountain at March 17, 2010 10:42 PM (bxiXv)

I don't think so. If the world is officially crazy, we should profit from the dumbshits.

Do you know what it costs to keep a frigate operating? And for nothing. Fawk!

38 Who ya gonna call?

39 11 I just had a bold new idea for adventure holidays.

Hey, the Brits won't do it, the Dutch won't do it, somebody's got to do it.

 

Someone already thought of the pirate adventure scheme.  Damn it.

40 Zorgvuldig, idiot! Ik zei over haar neus, niet omhoog het. Hoeveel domoren hebben wij op dit schip, in elk geval? Ik kende het! I' m dat door domoren wordt omringd!

41

There's a British couple who have been held hostage by pirates in Africa for the better part of a year now...........why didn't they take those pirates hostage till they coughed up the Brits?

Somalis aren't worth the dirt they walk on, realistically. The two British hostages are older and don't have the money to pay the ransom. The British Government refuses to negotiate so the stalemate continues. If the Brits gave half a shit they'd send in the SAS but evidently the Brits don't give half a shit...

42 Well, this is from wikipedia, I suppose this is where the name comes from:
Maarten Harpertszoon Tromp (April 23, 1598 – August 10, 1653) was an officer and later admiral in the Dutch navy. His first name is also spelled as Maerten.

43 Left to me, I'd track the bastards back to the port that they operated out, then i would devastate the infrastructure (sea and aerial bombardment) and not leave two stones on top of each other. Then I would mine the harbor. Repeat as necessary. Kill 'em all and let Satan/Allah (same guy) sort 'em out. 

44 Warning shots are most effective when placed in the spleen.

45 And sink everything that floats, including any rubber duckies and toy boats in puddles. No mercy.

46 Hey, them pirates just figured that the Dutch were pussies, and that maybe they'd give up the destroyer without a fight.

47 The Dutch have a Navy?  Next you will be telling me they have an army.  Or an airforce.

48 If the Brits gave half a shit they'd send in the SAS but evidently the Brits don't give half a shit... Posted by: ErikW

SBS.

You only think you've seen hard-core until you've met some of those fellows.

49 This is the inevitable result of the decision by the Europussies after WWII that piracy should be handled in a genteel fashion, instead of the pirates being hanged on the spot as enemies of humanity. 

50 Hey, them pirates just figured that the Dutch were pussies, and that maybe they'd give up the destroyer without a fight.
Posted by: FatBaldnSassy

Yeah, it's a frigate, about as heavily armed as a Coast Guard Cutter.

51 Scuse me - but isn't it the brave stand up Dutch guys who are prosecuting Geert Wilders for offending muslims?  What do you expect from the Dutch?  Yah -  with the wine & cheese a splif would go nicely.  Splif for a skif - yah

52 Mars rocks. Newsletter?

53 #4, warning shots are also for Europeans.

Then again, pussies - Europeans. Same thing.

Whatever happened to punishing pirates? Gosh, I wonder if the pirates are operating without fear because no one is killing them off.

I'm sure if we just understood them, they would stop. xoxoxo Somali Pirates! We love you!

54

SBS.

You only think you've seen hard-core until you've met some of those fellows.

I stand corrected!

Too bad their own government won't let them go kick some ass and bring a couple of their own citizens home.

55 sickinmass, heh.

56

Too bad their own government won't let them go kick some ass and bring a couple of their own citizens home.

Posted by: ErikW

I know. The end of Gordon Brown's government cannot possibly come soon enough.

57 Stupid Dutch don't understand that you're supposed to set them free on the mothership, sink the fucker, and then machine gun the survivors. What part of 'pirate' don't they understand? Stupid fuckers. How are they even smart enough to reproduce?

58 Well hell, our army got all pussified when they elimated bayonet training. We're going to treat the enemy wounded now instead of bayoneting them? What the fuck are we supposed to do with all our unemployed accountants? huh? WTF?

59

I know. The end of Gordon Brown's government cannot possibly come soon enough.

Is it as crazy there as it is here? I've read that the Torys are on a deperate campaign ad spending spree.

60 Yeah, it's a frigate, about as heavily armed as a Coast Guard Cutter.

The Dutch call it a frigate, but it's big and well-armed enough that other navies tend to classify it as a destroyer. Half again the displacement of an Oliver Hazard Perry frigate. 5" gun instead of the Perry's 3"; Harpoons which the Perrys will no longer have.

61 61  Wrong...you sink the skiffs, you sink the mothership (after you've collected all the weapons), you keep the pirates; you then take said pirates and you crucify them on the beach outside of their home port.

62 you then take said pirates and you crucify them on the beach outside of their home port. Posted by: unknown jane

Actually, you hang them. Crucifixion takes too long, and you have to stick around until they die, which is not a brilliant plan.

Then you empty the port, take DNA samples and pictures of all males, burn the port, and warn the former inhabitants that, should we see them again, it will go very hard for them.

63 67  ah, good idea!

64 ah, good idea! Posted by: unknown jane

Borrowed from Col  Tom Kratman, but thank you!

65 I think it's been pretty adequately established over the last few years that no one, with the exception of American freighter crews, has the slightest interest in doing anything about Somali piracy.  The companies  just up the insurance, pay off those scum, then tack an extra few cents onto every pair of Keds they sell us.  Countries seem to be at a loss as to how to handle it--quite reasonably, no one wants to bring them back home for trial.  And unfortunately, hosing down their mother ships with .50cal or a 5" gun and then simply leaving the area to look for more pirates makes baby bunnies and lefties all around the world cry with sadness.
I say bring back letters of marque!

66 Posted by: Speller

oooooh!

The European version of cheese-whiz!

(*sorry* - I keep company w/ a former Navy guy)

It is better armed than I'd initially thought. Not a naval person, just a reader.

67 Borrowed from Col  Tom Kratman, but thank you!

Posted by: Dianna at March 18, 2010 12:15 AM (mKMj1)

Make it a desert, and call it peace.

68 Why aren't we playing desert bingo with these pieces of human excrement? B-2 BINGO!

69 re: 67 -- and THEN you fire the warning shots. Dianna for prez 2012. Have her debate security issues with the Donkeys and put it on pay per view.

70

Dutch warship for sale.

Only been fired twice.

71

Make it a desert, and call it peace.

Posted by: Rat Patrol

Please! Let us quote Tacitus as he ought to be quoted:

They made a desert; they called it peace.

I will spare you the Latin.

72 Dianna for prez 2012. Have her debate security issues with the Donkeys and put it on pay per view. Posted by: KilltheHippies

Heaven forfend!

Offer me a quiet little advisory position, which would let me read all day, and that would do just fine.

73 Posted by: Speller at March 18, 2010 12:16 AM (o0R2E)

That's the decommissioned Tromp. The one in the post is the new hotness.

74 78 -- ah, c'mon, take one for the country. besides, having a prez content to just sit and read would be the best thing ever.

75

76-  LOL

 

76 #80 - KilltheHippies

Ahem: "If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve."

   - William Tecumseh Sherman

77

The picture Dave in Texas has on display is a Destroyer not a Frigate.

Destroyers hunt subs, Frigates hunt ships.

Just trying to keep up the reputation of a smart military blog.(someone has to do it.)

78 Are there no men in the Dutch Navy?

O.K. How about cannibalism in the Dutch Navy?

C'mon... Not even a little bit?

79 I will spare you the Latin.

Posted by: Dianna at March 18, 2010 12:26 AM (mKMj1)

Thanks. If that Tacky dude was alive today, he'd say it like I did.

80 82: at least sleep on it. imagine the white house run by a quiet thinky person instead of an hyper ambitious airhead brat like we got now. visualize the difference if the empty suit had read just a few really good books intead of wasting his life being a empty burbling rabble rouser...

81 Destroyers hunt subs, Frigates hunt ships.

That's not even a little bit accurate.

82 The Goalkeeper short-range defence-system

There's only one short range defence system against pirates; it ranges from the top of the gibbet to about halfway to the ground.

Why are we setting these scum free, again?

83

Is it wrong I'm attracted to ruthless women? I love viking chicks.

And the last Centurions left their shields in the heather and took a barbarian bride.

84 <blockquote>The Dutch call it a frigate, but it's big and well-armed enough that other navies tend to classify it as a destroyer. Half again the displacement of an Oliver Hazard Perry frigate. 5" gun instead of the Perry's 3"; Harpoons which the Perrys will no longer have.

Posted by: Waterhouse at March 18, 2010 12:00 AM </blockquote>

Fun fact - back in the 70's the US Navy used to call it's Leahy and Belknap Cruisers (and Similar Nuke-powered ships like the Bainbridge) Frigates, also called DLG (or DLGN) or "Destroyer Leader". When it was realized there was a "cruiser gap" with the USSR, they were all reclassified as CG (or CGN). The smaller Perry and Knox types were called Fast Frigates (FF or FFG) to differentiate. 

And Perry's haven't been able to fire Harpoons since their MK 13 missile launchers were removed. But that 3" can put a lot of ordnance on target with that rapid rate of fire (just can't fire as far). I wish the US 5" Mk 45 could fire half as fast as the US used to be able to do with the MK 42 - 40 rounds per minute. Imagine the old destroyers with two of those - divine.

I also really wish Carter wouldn't have canceled the 8" version of the Mk 45 - even at 20 rpm, it would have been devastating.

85 Joe Biden BOMBS at the Correspondents Dinner

86 And unfortunately, hosing down their mother ships with .50cal or a 5" gun and then simply leaving the area to look for more pirates makes baby bunnies and lefties all around the world cry with sadness.
I say bring back letters of marque!

Posted by: Nemo from Erewhon at March 18, 2010 12:19 AM

What, we did that shit back in '05. Had a dead dude in our morgue, and another with a .50 cal round through the face getting patched up. No one seemed to be too bothered by it then. Recent fave Winston S. Churchill got a couple effective 5" rounds off, too.

87 To be sure - it appears that the HNLMS Tromp F801 was decommissioned in 1999. The picture shown in the main posting above is of Tromp F803 and is currently active.  HNLMS Tromp F803 is indeed a heavily armed warship for the displacement.

Can't blame the Dutch crew - they're following EU rules.  Perhaps the EU could provide the Somali pirates with up-to-date ship recognition manuals and prepaid ransom funds?

88 The Dutch have a Navy?  Next you will be telling me they have an army.  Or an airforce.

Within its limited scope, the Dutch military actually packs a pretty hard punch.  They're heavily dependent on other NATO countries for any sort of extended logistics support though.

In a small quick fight that could be handled with materials on hand, the Dutch would be quite impressive.

89 The Dutch currently have 87 F16/AM fighters built by Fokker.

90

_{This is what the Tromp actually looks like:}

_armament:

_{• 1 × launcher for Standard SAM (40 missiles)
• 1 × octuple Sea Sparrow SAM (16 missiles)
• 8 × RGM-84 Harpoon SSM
• 2 × 120 mm Bofors guns (1 twin turret - turrets were salvaged from HNLMS Gelderland , a Holland class destroyer)
• Triple anti-submarine torpedo tubes
• 1 × Goalkeeper short-range defence-system.}

_{The turret on the front is the twin 120mm Bofors(which means fully automated high rate of fire).  It's used for shore bombardment.}

_{120mm is the size of an M1 Abrams tank main gun.}

_{The Goalkeeper short-range defence-system is the close equivalent of a Phalanx system on American Navy vessels.}

That'd make one sweet Bass Boat!

91 The Dutch really do have some nice gear.  They can hit hard, they just can't hit for a long time without NATO behind them.  Their training is also top line.  It would be a grave mistake to assume their military is as clusterfucked as their civilian society, its not.

92

Destroyers hunt subs, Frigates hunt ships

That's not even a little bit accurate.

waterhouse is right, realistically, the only difference between a frigate and a destroyer is one screw to two

93 Frigates can hunt rowboats if they want to.

94 99 this is true, it could have sunk that mothership in a heartbeat too

95 Tromp.

Best warship name evar?

96 Any morons interested in a nautical enterprise involving freedom of navigation for fun and profit?
http://tiny.cc/3Pbw9
Good range and dash speed.
More than enough firepower for a bit o' privateering.
The Gabriel ship killers might be a little extravagant, but then who doesn't like fireworks.  
Air-conditioned too.

97 Weapons aren't much use if you don't have to will to pull the trigger.

98 hey you can ski behind it. Do you think they'll take payments?

99 Its the Dutch. The pirates probably got a wine and cheese brunch while aboard.

Hell, they probably offered them up one of their ghey dudes to hang (out of respect for the pirate's Muslim traditions) !

The Dutch are nothing if not convivial.

100 Joe Biden BOMBS at the Correspondents Dinner

@91 - Hey, cut Plugs some slack.  He's the smartest man in the room.  Just ask him.

101 I also really wish Carter wouldn't have canceled the 8" version of the Mk 45 - even at 20 rpm, it would have been devastating.

Why do you think Carter canned it?

102 The two skiffs were destroyed and the pirates were set free on the mothership after it had been cleared of weapons.

Those wondering why they, and other countries are doing this shit, it is because of that BS treaty LOST (Law of the Sea) and the new rules for piracy.  That is why piracy is back on the rise.  The old days of "Jus Justinium" where if you captured a pirate you simply gave them a drum-head court-martial and hung them are long gone.

Under current law the pirates must be delivered to a nearby country for trial. If you look at a map you will find why that is a utter waste of time.

What needs to happen is the 1st world countries need to get together without the third world rat holes and develop a new codicil for dealing with pirates.

One good thing about the U.S. on this is that if we ever get a CIC with some balls we have no ratified that BS treaty (thanks to RR). We can kill the SOBs.

103 Please support the Rand Paul money bomb, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqX43ry5Bqk

104 That stick thingy on the front is a clue.

That's what she said!

105 The two skiffs were destroyed and the pirates were set free on the mothership after it had been cleared of weapons.

AND SCUTTLED

106 Is it not PC to refer to a Dutch frigate as a Q Ship?

107 Is it not PC to refer to a Dutch frigate as a Q Ship?

I thought that only Haven and Manticore had those.

108 It's like the old joke - Rape the women, pillage the sheep.  And get it right this time!

Put the pirates back on the mother-ship, and blow a hole below the waterline.  Current, and future problems solved.

This touchy-feely compassion shit is going to get someone killed.

109

You give me one ship similar to the "Tromp" and unlimited authority, and within 3 months I could end the piracy problem in that area for a generation. 

First off, I would have sunk that mothership.  I also would search sink every other ship that didn't look to have a good reason for being there. Then I would steam into the closest harbor and lay waste to every dock and sink everything bigger than a rowboat - if I felt nice that day, I might tell the locals to stay away from the docks that day.  When they hold a kindergarten class out on a pier in the hopes that I'll relent, too bad - that day is gonna be an everything must go sale.  If they act up too much, maybe it will be best to just lay waste to the entire town - it would be nice if some carpet bombing B-52s could be called in.

And you know what, you only have to do that to 2 or 3 coastal towns at most before piracy stops in all of them.   It's kind of funny how that works.

110 Somewhere off the Cape of Good Hope, Van der Decken is seething.

111 FIRST!

112 They shoulda handled it the old-fashioned way. Take them aboard, sink their boats and set them free on some nearby island... say Diego Garcia.

113

102 Any morons interested in a nautical enterprise involving freedom of navigation for fun and profit?
http://tiny.cc/3Pbw9
Good range and dash speed.
More than enough firepower for a bit o' privateering.
The Gabriel ship killers might be a little extravagant, but then who doesn't like fireworks.  
Air-conditioned too

Weapon Systems:
Missiles - Gabriel MK II, up to 8 units
Guns - 1X40mm, 2X20mm
Machine guns - 3X0.5mm
Fire control radar - Orion

I wouldn't count on that 0.5mm gun to be very effective unless they are poison-tipped.

114

Ok, all in the name of keeping up the "smart military" reputation of the blog:

The differences between a frigate and a destroyer in modern terms aren't tremendous by any means, but for the most part in most navies a frigate is generally slower and more heavily armored than a destroyer and as someone else pointed out they usually only have one screw.  A destroyer on the other hand is generally more lightly armored and usually faster and more manueverable than a frigate.

Either way attacking a modern frigate or modern destroyer in a 4-6 man boat with AK-47's and maybe an RPG or two is stupidity of the highest order.  Even if one discounts the piracy aspects of this I would think removing anyone who is this intellectually challenged from the gene pool before they reproduce would be considered a public service by any civilized society.

As to the Dutch response, I'd agree with the previous poster who stated they couldn't really blame the crew because they were just following the EU's rules of engagment, which are laughable at best.

 

 

 

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