1 Happy Fathers' Day, Morondads!

Fathers, and men in general, get a bad rap, but the best guarantor to keep a girl off the pole or a boy out of jail is a good dad in the home.

Thank you, gentlemen.

2 Compare and contrast the difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day, most notably, that Dad won't kill you if you forget.

3 Fuckin'-A brother. Happy Father's day to all the in Texas family.

4 great family dinner today!

5 My boys took me to a car show. I asked these little 6 & 10 y.o. boys why they liked car shows lately. The 10 y.o. told me..." you know all this weird shit about them, seems like cool stuff". Then we went home and they ripped up the backyard w/go-carts. My own private NASCAR track, only they get PB&J's on pit stops. And they pee behind the barn. 

6 Nice thread.

I couldn't be prouder of my kids.  They're just like me, but with sense and shit.

7

Let me be perfectly clear, Father's Day confuses me.

8 Happy Father's Day to my dad & all the Morons who are fathers.

9 Yeah it was good Father's Day starting with the weekly book thread. Now the trolls are all gay bashing Gabe on the previous thread.

I guess someone needs to exercise the ban hammer. 

10


 I have two teenagers and an 11 year old. All of 'em boys. So I take your Happy Fathers Day with a grain of salt.

11

Someecards is teh bestest!

I found the perfect card for my Dad. A little girl on the front picking her nose--really going to town. On the inside it said, "Dad, if it weren't for you, Mom would've turned me into a total lady. Thanks and Happy Father's Day".

That card went over well!

Happy Father's Day to all of our Daddy Morons!

12

Happy Father's day everyone!

Now I need to go and participate in mine.

13
here's a dad story:

One day our little dog was at the end of the driveway doing dog stuff like peeing and sniffing around. This lady stops her car, gets out, and picks up our dog and puts him in her car and drives away.

Dad just happened to driving home at that very time and sees our dog in the back of this lady's car driving away. He wasn't 100% sure it was our dog but decided to chase her down just in case.

He passes her on the road and forces her to pull over. (Now my dad is not subtle, so keep that in mind.) He goes up to her window and asks why she took his dog. The lady says, "Oh, I thought he was lost."

He opens her car's door and takes our dog out. While dad was getting our dog he sees a bunch of dog collars in the back seat. Then dad put the fear of god into her and let her go. I don't know if she stole dogs after that, but she sure didn't do it near our house any more.

True story.

14

I'm pretty sure I'm a better father than DiT because I'm not raising my kids up to be Cowboys fans.


I think Willie Nelson even wrote a song about it.

15

They're just like me, but with sense and shit.

I'm assuming they shovel better than you as well

16

I would hardly call the last thread a Hate Crime. 

Gabe has a thick skin and an ascerbic wit.  He can take care of hisself.

Happy Father's Day to all you suckas...

Long Live the Patriarchy! and all that shit.

17

I'm pretty sure I'm a better father than DiT because I'm not raising my kids up to be Cowboys fans.

Good call.  What father would want his kid to be the biggest douche at the sports bar.

18 Nothing personal or anything DiT.  Heh.

19 be thankful for your dad and spend as much time as you can with him. talk to him as often as you can. because when hes gone, then you will know how much you loved him. i think of my dad everyday and miss him so much.

20

Good call.  What father would want his kid to be the biggest douche at the sports bar.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at June 20, 2010 06:50 PM (0pYSi)

Dave's a Red Sox Fan?

21

Uh, my son is a Yankee fan. Maybe I did something wrong?

Possibly.  I find Red Sox fans to be worse.  All that long suffering loyal fan BS.

22

 _{my son is a Yankee fan. Maybe I did something wrong?}

He's getting a jump on Greinke's future Team.

Smart Kid.  Your wife must have some good genes.

23 Good call Buzzion.  Laker fan and Cubs fan are pretty tedious as well.

24 Someone sent me an email. 

This is actually Motherfucker's day. 

If you didn't you wouldn't be a dad.

25

Nothing worse than a Red Sox fan.

Except, perhaps a Red Wings fan.

...or French Canadians.

26

>> Nothing personal or anything DiT.  Heh.

 

bizzatch.

>> Dave's a Red Sox Fan?

 

Rangers.  We pine for ersatz-World Series win.

 

Hertzl predicted we'd get there.

 

27

Blazer, I have 2 teenage daughters (17 and 13). So 1) it ain't any easier, depending on the sex and 2) keep your sons away from my daughters.

Posted by: Mallamutt at June 20, 2010 06:54 PM (OWjjx)

Call of Duty 4 is doing a fine job at that, thank you.

28 #14

He should have called the cops, bitch was stealing and selling dogs.

29 What's with this baseball shit?  Next thing you know we'll have a soccer thread.

Oh, never mind.

When the fuck is football going to start?

30
here's another good dad story:

One day in front of his store a guy on a motorcycle drove very fast right under a tractor-trailer. Dad called for the ambulance and then tried to help the guy, but he's was really messed up.

When the ambulance showed up dad continued to be helpful by bringing over the motorcyclist's things to the ambulance such as his shoes and his leg.

31 #34

That's just wrong!

32 Good call.  What father would want his kid to be the biggest douche at the sports bar.

Bronco fan?

33 Great post, DiT!  Happy Father's Day to you and all the wonderful moron dads!  I'm one of the lucky ones, could not have had a better father if I was in a Hollywood movie.  Yay, Dads!!!

34 I suggested to my 17 yr old daughter to post on her facebook page "who wants to be my algebra II tutor?" She has gotten some instant response. Told the wife to add "the tutor needs to pass dads test first."

35 My friends, I've had many a spaniel ask me for a ride. What if the pooch was trying to make a better life for his family? ? Was the border defended?

36 Bronco fan?

Posted by: huerfano at June 20, 2010 07:02 PM (rqC5o)

That hurts. 

37 My friends. the Vietnamese word for dog is 'breakfast'. Thank you my friends.

38 Best memory of my dad? About twenty years ago our drunken redneck across the street neighbor challenged him to a fight after he called him out about whistling at my mother who was carrying groceries into the house wearing short -shorts.

Neighbor:

" I'll come over der an' kick yer' ass you old fuck"

Dad:

"Sweet. I have a little dog called a .357 and I'm gonna let her bark at ya' a few times."

39 When the fuck is football going to start?

Are talking training camp, NFL preseason or actual games that mean something in the college and NFL universe?  The earlier date for training camp always makes me feel better because we're inside a month now.

Having said that, HOW 'BOUT THEM BRAVES?

P.S.:  My19-month-old son can, indeed, yell "ROLL TIDE!!!"  My four-year-old daughter recognizes the Bear and Nick Saban.  Start 'em early, raise 'em right.

P.P.S.:  If can I can keep them from turning vegan and teach them that commies are not cool, my work will be done.

40 My friends. the Vietnamese word for dog is 'breakfast'. Thank you my friends.

Yeah, well, the conservative American's word for douchenozzle is Maverick.

41 My best moment of male bonding with my dad:  we were using the chainsaw to cut off a branch which kept whacking against the roof of our old house. It was a big sucker, so I got to shinny up the tree with the handsaw and cut away all the smaller branchlets and as much of the end as I could before he got to work with the chainsaw.

To make extra sure nobody got clonked by a falling limb we secured it with a good strong steel cable.  Then he cut the limb off.

Then we both spent half an hour watching the big tree limb hanging from its cable, wondering how the hell we were going to get it down.

42 Difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day. Moms get a testimonial about how great they are. Dads get a self-help book about how to do better.

43 That c**t wife (I can't remember if it was my first or second wife- who fucking cares, it's all pink on the inside). Anyway, one of those c**ts I married had a thing for that fucking Spuds MacKenzie. Seen Spuds lately? That's what I thought.

44  his shoes and his leg.

Posted by: a sign post up ahead at June 20, 2010 06:59 PM (9X3KM)

see......... thats the way dads are. he was thinking. this guy may need his shoes and leg. their always thinking ahead..

45 I still remember the proud moment when I became a Dad. . . I had been out to sea for 11 months . . . They told me he was a "Miracle Baby" or something like that. Not sure why. . .

46 Happy Father's Day Webb!

47 Then we both spent half an hour watching the big tree limb hanging from its cable, wondering how the hell we were going to get it down.

Heh. 

Multigenerational fun on the farm:

My father once mired the tractor up to axle in a ditch.  My grandfather marches around it and asks:  "How'd you get it there?"  My father:  "I drove the damned thing in, daddy."  Me and my brother:  Literally on the ground laughing to the point of vomiting.

48 Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Hope you had a good day. Dad took me to see Star Wars when I was six a few weeks after mom had taken me to see Bambi which made me cry. I clapped at the end of Star Wars which prompted him to say, "A lot better than that Bambi crap, wasn't it?" I still remember that and laugh.

49 P.S.: My19-month-old son can, indeed, yell "ROLL TIDE!!!" My four-year-old daughter recognizes the Bear and Nick Saban. Start 'em early, raise 'em right. My friends, I recognize Nick the Carpetbagger too. In the toilet every morning after my first cigarette. Roll Tide, indeed. Around the bowl and down the hole.

50 I had been out to sea for 11 months . . . They told me he was a "Miracle Baby" or something like that. Not sure why. . .

Now do you get that whole "it takes a village" thing?

51 When the ambulance showed up dad continued to be helpful by bringing over the motorcyclist's things to the ambulance such as his shoes and his leg.

Posted by: a sign post up ahead

Funny. Your dad's a nice nice guy. Raised a fucking asshole, but I'm sure he tried.

52 My friends, I recognize Nick the Carpetbagger too. In the toilet every morning after my first cigarette. Roll Tide, indeed. Around the bowl and down the hole.

Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of the crystal football over there.

53
My favorite dad's line from the movies, bar none, is from "Clueless". When flaccid, fecund youth comes to date Alicia Silverstone, Dan Hedaya takes the boy aside and says, "Son, anything happens to my daughter, I have a .45 and shovel. Nobody will miss you."

Us morondads of daughters know precisely where he's coming from!

54 My Father's Day party is bigger than New Years in Times Square.

55 My friends, it wasn't me who named the SEC the Special Ed Conference. But friends, I agreed with it.

56

So far no one here has wished me a Happy Fathers Day. That's alright because I prefer to go on being the unsung hero.

57 Seen Spuds lately? That's what I thought. I'm your huckleberry .

58 Who needs Father's (Day)?

59 Hey Dave,and right back at cha. I have 2 boys and 2 girls all grown and mostly on their own. I love them much and and they make me very proud.
 There are few things that surpass being remembered on Fathers Day with a call or a visit!

60 It's been a good fathers day . Pretty much like most days except I started drinking earlier .Which is nice .
I really miss my dad .

61 Heard from my daughter today.  She wished me a Happy Father's Day.  Asked her if she'd checked the oil in her car recently.  She said, "Yes, still black and yuckkie as ever!".
Sigh!

62 Shit , sock .

63 Picture it, Little League, some random summer back in the mid 70's.  The dregs that no one picked for their teams all get lumped onto the MFA team that still doesn't have a coach.  Dad volunteers to coach the team, knowing there's a snowball's chance in hell of winning much of anything with the talent he's got.

But he loves the game and always roots for the underdog, so for him it's a match made in Heaven.  "Do your best boys and have fun playing the game, those are the most important parts of it." he tells us.  So that's what we do.  We all had a blast that summer, even though the only game we "won" was because the other team couldn't field enough players and defaulted.

We were also the only team that didn't wind up looking like jerks because we were the only team who didn't have bloviating asshole super coach wanna be screaming at us if things weren't going his way.  The parents of the kids on the team thanked Dad for that, and told him it was the best summer their kids had ever spent at Little League.

When it was all said and done, we had 1 in the "W" column.  But because we did as Dad told us, play hard and have fun, we might have only had one "win" but we were damn proud it and felt as good as any World Series winner. 

What none of us knew until it was all over was that Dad had managed to get MFA to provide funding and the local Ford dealer to provide a van to take us all to our first Big League game to see the Cards at Busch Stadium.

(I think they lost that game in honor of us...)

64 So far no one here has wished me a Happy Fathers Day. That's alright because I prefer to go on being the unsung hero.

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 07:16 PM (t72+4)

Awww....that's not right.  Happy Father's Day, Blazer!

(I know some stranger on the internet wishing you a HFD is no replacement for your family doing it but HFD anyway.)

65 61

So far no one here has wished me a Happy Fathers Day. That's alright because I prefer to go on being the unsung hero.

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 07:16 PM (t72+4)

 

Happy Fathers Day Blazer............

66 My Dad goes up to bat in a family reunion softball game (bad back, bad knees and all). His brothers start razzing him from the outfield, "Turn around and back up! Easy out!" My mom leans over and says, "Watch this." Dad hammered one into the parking lot. By time they found it he had only made it to first base. What a guy!

67 When the ambulance showed up dad continued to be helpful by bringing over the motorcyclist's things to the ambulance such as his shoes and his leg.


Posted by: a sign post up ahead

I remember a story like that.  Except i was driving the amberlamps, and I had to go find the biker's head in the ditch along I-55...

68


Thanks RaceFan and Tami, that means a lot.

69 Happy Father's Day Y'all!

Just got home from the my sons house great food.

70 Happy Father's Day to all dads who can't be with their kids today because they're serving in uniform overseas, or because they're on duty today as cops, fire fighters, or emergency medical workers. These guys deserve a "well done!" too.

71 Us morondads of daughters know precisely where he's coming from!

Posted by: Brown Line at June 20, 2010 07:14 PM (fOp0S)

The extended version of that sentiment.

72 Sup peeps.  Guess what I am doing (as we speak), to honor my dear old Dad?

73 Sup peeps.  Guess what I am doing (as we speak), to honor my dear old Dad?

Posted by: Patrick Kennedy at June 20, 2010 07:30 PM (0pYSi)

I dunno. Setting up a drunken rape right outside his bedroom window just like old times ?

74

78 Waitress sandwich?

75

 (and I am a Cub fan - so you can imagine what my opinion is of her)

A Cub fan?  I was hoping you were a Royals fan.

At least you seem to know the history of the game and your team.  Unlike so many trendy Cub fans that revel in losing.  heh.

76

A few folks beat me to it, yet I want to say it too.

Happy Father's day, Blazer.

They'll be more thoughtful when they get older. Maybe.

77
I dunno. Setting up a drunken rape right outside his bedroom window just like old times ?

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 07:31 PM (t72+4)

81

78 Waitress sandwich?

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 20, 2010 07:32 PM (pW0dS)

You morons are great.  Hey, I would love to stay and chat, but I'm late for a vote.

Anyone seen my car keys?

 

78 I dunno. Setting up a drunken rape right outside his bedroom window just like old times ?

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 07:31 PM (t72+4)

Wait...that wasn't Patrick, was it?  I thought it was some Kennedy named William something? 

79 Sup peeps.  Guess what I am doing (as we speak), to honor my dear old Dad?

Posted by: Patrick Kennedy at June 20, 2010 07:30 PM (0pYSi)

Getting Chris Buckley to ghostwrite a tell-all memoir about Daddy Dearest.

80 Posted by: Patrick Kennedy at June 20, 2010 07:30 PM (0pYSi) Whatever it is you have in mind Patches, my friend, just remember they closed that joint over on Royal Palm where you and Willie found the bitches. And always drink all American Anheuser-Busch products.

81 Thanks Mal, I really don't need anything since I have more than I can ask for in a beautiful wife and three little boys, although two of em'  outweigh me by several pounds and tower over me by several inches and they ain't exactly little anymore. I could still kick their asses if I wanted to.

82 Spuds told me the truth about that night.

83 Is it wrong to chase a dozen geese out of my back yard by screaming at them....or should I have used a gun?

84 It's difficult to find dogs on Palm Beach Island, but Spuds said the compound was full of them.

85

Though I do like the Royals - as a kid, they had some great teams, Brett, McRae, Saberhagen and David Cone came up as a Royal. Sort of my second team, I guess. I just am a huge fan of The Greatness that is.......Zach Greinke.

Yeah I was a Royals fan as a kid.  Before Denver got a team.  My favs were Danny Jackson, Frank White and Brett.

86 92,

Geese mmmmmm.

87

dont let it get to you Blazer. kids can be cold. i bought my son a kinda new truck when he was 18. his girlfriend was driving it and hit a tree in my yard and totaled it out. it was my truck, my yard, my tree................ and they were mad at me because i was pissed about it.

88
Posted by: Who Knows at June 20, 2010 07:33 PM (7FgWm)



Thanks wk.

89 Happy Father's Day to all dads - past, present and future.

I got my stepfather a card that says I'm so proud of him that I want his autograph...

and inside the card is a picture of a blank check, . 

He thought it was cute.

90 I called the old man.  He was packing to go see my brother, now that brother is back from Iraq.  "If the plane crashes, well, I guess I won't have to worry about this, but there's a box in the basement marked 'Destroy upon my demise' and you'll need to get that shredded before anyone else finds it."

I want to know, but I don't want to know, you know?

91 Is it wrong to chase a dozen geese out of my back yard by screaming at them....or should I have used a gun?

Yous should have handed them a strongly-worded letter, like I always do.

92

dont let it get to you Blazer. kids can be cold. i bought my son a kinda new truck when he was 18. his girlfriend was driving it and hit a tree in my yard and totaled it out. it was my truck, my yard, my tree................ and they were mad at me because i was pissed about it.

Posted by: Racefan at June 20, 2010 07:39 PM (3/mFd)

I don't. My oldest is 6'3' and about 260. My middle is 6'5" and around 240. I'm a paltry 6' 2' and 220. I give them that look and they still melt like butter in my hands.

93

 My oldest is 6'3' and about 260. My middle is 6'5" and around 240.

Remind me never to pick a fight with Blazer.  Thanks.

94 On Thursday, Justice Antonin Scalia gave the commencement address at Langley High School, in Virginia, where his granddaughter was graduating. An excerpt:

 Â“[A] platitude I want discuss comes in many flavors. It can be variously delivered as, ‘Follow your star,Â’ or ‘Never compromise your principles.Â’ Or, quoting Polonius in ‘HamletÂ’ — who people forget was supposed to be an idiot — ‘To thine ownself be true.Â’ Now this can be very good or very bad advice. Indeed, follow your star if you want to head north and itÂ’s the North Star. But if you want to head north and itÂ’s Mars, you had better follow somebody elseÂ’s star.

“Indeed, never compromise your principles. Unless, of course, your principles are Adolf Hitler’s. In which case, you would be well advised to compromise your principles, as much as you can.

“And indeed, to thine ownself be true, depending upon who you think you are. It’s a belief that seems particularly to beset modern society, that believing deeply in something, and following that belief, is the most important thing a person could do. Get out there and picket, or boycott, or electioneer, or whatever. I am here to tell you that it is much less important how committed you are, than what you are committed to. If I had to choose, I would always take the less dynamic, indeed even the lazy person who knows what’s right, than the zealot in the cause of error. He may move slower, but he’s headed in the right direction.

“Movement is not necessarily progress. More important than your obligation to follow your conscience, or at least prior to it, is your obligation to form your conscience correctly. Nobody — remember this — neither Hitler, nor Lenin, nor any despot you could name, ever came forward with a proposal that read, ‘Now, let’s create a really oppressive and evil society.’ Hitler said, ‘Let’s take the means necessary to restore our national pride and civic order.’ And Lenin said, ‘Let’s take the means necessary to assure a fair distribution of the goods of the world.’

“In short, it is your responsibility, men and women of the class of 2010, not just to be zealous in the pursuit of your ideals, but to be sure that your ideals are the right ones. That is perhaps the hardest part of being a good human being: Good intentions are not enough. Being a good person begins with being a wise person. Then, when you follow your conscience, will you be headed in the right direction.”

95 Oh sorry...I meant to put that Scalia speech on the open thread.  My bad.

96
My oldest is 6'3' and about 260. My middle is 6'5" and around 240.

Remind me never to pick a fight with Blazer.  Thanks.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at June 20, 2010 07:44 PM (0pYSi)

I'm German/ Irish. My wife is Syrian/Armenian. Evidently some Viking got in there somewhere.

97 Because every Father's Day thread needs a kitteh picture just for dadcats: you never know what the kids will want next.

http://tinyurl.com/34xnrwn

98

Blazer, my little boy is 6' 5" and 310 lbs.  Yeah, I could still kick his ass if I wanted to.  I just don't want to very much.  Best not to let him get his hands on you.

Happy Father's Day to all you guys.  My sanity is insured by your wit and common cause.  In a way I'm glad my dad is gone.  He would have been outraged and embarrassed for the country, as are we.  Clinton was more than he could take.

99

Blazer

Thanks for the heads up. My 11 year old is 5'2 and 105 lbs. I figure I have about 3 or 4 years left before he is bigger than me. Clearly - I need to work on my facial experssions.

My oldest has figured it out, though. She knows when Dad is pissed and not to be messed with. Of course, she is usually the one pissing me off. (Hey, I know its 11:00 o'clock at night and you have to get up at 5, so is now a bad time to tell you I got a speeding ticket coming home from work?").

Posted by: Mallamutt at June 20, 2010 07:47 PM (OWjjx)

Both of em' have already tried me once. Once. What they fail to realize is dad used to be a 280 lb. defensive tackle once and can throw.

100

Enough with the bikers missing parts shit. Seriously. What the fuck makes people throw that in a fathers day thread. Motherfucking stupidest shit I've ever read on this blog. Ever.

 

101 Agh, what the hell do I care. Sorry

102 Tiger is melting down.

103 I have three lovely high school age girls (actually, the oldest at 18 just graduated).  The 17 year old will be a senior next year and the baby is 15.  She's the one who is the most like Dad, looks and all.  The lucky girl!  Anyway, I am very proud of them and feel extremely blessed to have them.  So, Happy Father's Day to all!  Especially my brethren in the armed forces who sacrifice so I can enjoy quality time with my family.

Oh, and Delta....just wanted to remind you not to pick a fight with Blazer.  You're welcome.

104 Blazer's racial mix......I work with a guy who is half Irish and half Apache.  Think he likes to fight?

105 112 Tiger is melting down.

Posted by: Delta Smelt at June 20, 2010 07:51 PM (0pYSi)

let anyone win but the guy in the pink shirt.

106 Somewhere in Iraq/Afghanistan one of our Brave Soldier Dad's is being shot at. God Bless them all.

107

I work with a guy who is half Irish and half Apache.

Them's cattle raidin' genes!

108 Motherfucking stupidest shit I've ever read on this blog. Ever.

 

Posted by: hutch1200

Never read your own posts, eh??

109 Somewhere in Iraq/Afghanistan one of our Brave Soldier Dad's is being shot at. God Bless them all.

Amen.

110
Blazer's racial mix......I work with a guy who is half Irish and half Apache.  Think he likes to fight?

Posted by: Mr. Dave at June 20, 2010 07:54 PM (5MyX0)

Don't know I'm fairly passive. I spend most of my time being Paddy O' Furniture.

111

Zimriel, he works offshore but he has a cattle ranch in Oklahoma too.  The size of the herd varies. 

112
Posted by: Tami at June 20, 2010 07:44 PM (VuLos)


Wow.  What a tremendous Scalia speech, and so important for those kids.

And Blazer, I'm half Viking, half German, and only 6'1" and 215, so I don't know if it's so much the Viking thing that slipped in there.  IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: Wodeshed at June 20, 2010 07:58 PM (MFbfZ)

My parents are both under 5' 7". Not only did the postman ring twice ,but his name also must have been Thor.

113

Happy Father's Day dad. 

Sorry I turned out to be such a sniveling little puke.

114 I don't. My oldest is 6'3' and about 260. My middle is 6'5" and around 240.

Damn.

115 Never read your own posts, eh??

Posted by: FORGER - Racist Czar at June

I make lame ass attempts at comedy humor. No shit. But, riding and losing friends bugs me. I just think that stuff is tactless.

116

I don't. My oldest is 6'3' and about 260. My middle is 6'5" and around 240.

Damn.

Posted by: Gabriel Malor at June 20, 2010 08:03 PM (1TvCg)

Both of 'em are still in high school.

117 Laterz Mallamutt.

118 but his name also must have been Thor.

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 08:01 PM (t72+4)

now that was dang funny........

119 #128  Both of 'em are still in high school.

Geez, what you feeding them, Blazer?

/Happy Father's Day to you too.

120 My oldest is 6' 210 heads to the gym every morning for the past 20 years kicking his ass hasn't come up since he was 8, he is asst. plant mgr. of a chem. plant (Lyondell) never been in jail in his life and he loves me. so that's not too bad, Republican too.

121 "...or because they're on duty today as cops, fire fighters, or emergency medical workers"


What if someone's dad is a busboy working today?   Or is it only the cops at the doughnut shop and firemen making chili that count.  Or what if the dad is a cop but he diddled his kid's wiener for many years?  Does he get a special shout out to. 

This site is ghey.

122
It's Father's Day, a day to show your dad how much you appreciate him. And what better way to do that than good food?

You canÂ’t just prepare any old meal. I'm thinking of barbecued chicken and steak. If only there was a good recipe.

Well, there are plenty at Man Tested Recipes. You'll find great recipes for the steak and potatoes crowd. There is even a Father's Day category.

And don't forget those Wednesdays for us Moron husbands, mmkay? ITYKWIMAIKYD

123 RE: #127 - Hutch, I ride too, and every time I fire up the Harley that incident plays in my head like my own, personal "BLOOD ON THE HIGHWAY" film.  The comment about your posts was my own stab at humor.

124 Geez, what you feeding them, Blazer?

/Happy Father's Day to you too.

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 20, 2010 08:09 PM (c0A3e)

At this point they pretty much just eat whatever the hell they want. Just like Gremlins after midnight.

125 Sorry Forger. I couldn't see through my own anger. Yes, I'm a dick. Ya called me on it. Ride safe my friend!

126 I remember that you had a severe accident recently, didn't you, hutch?

127

Blazer honey, Happy Fathers Day!

Rest of the Dads, Yeah For you Guys!

 

 I never met my father,( death) so be grateful if you do

128 Did someone say "Dick"?

129 If i am recalling correctly, where might you be at in your recuperation process? Hope things are fine.

130 Yeah, I went down hard. I usually laugh about it. A buddy in Texas got ran over, was dragged down the road on fire. Another got hit and lost a leg. Part of the deal. Took a rip through the Poconos today and had a blast. Everbody goes down eventually.

131 Daddy? Is that you?

132 Many of my friends who have kids mainly just bitch about them, so it's refreshing to read the comments here. You dads are to be commended.

133

Blazer honey, Happy Fathers Day!

Rest of the Dads, Yeah For you Guys!

 

 I never met my father,( death) so be grateful if you do

Posted by: willow at June 20, 2010 08:21 PM (HyUIR)

My dad was a rough and tumble redneck Ohio guy that drove a truck for a living. He was pretty much not there when we were growing up, but he has made up for it later in life with his grandkids and I love him for that,.

134

So is today Steak & BJ Part Deux Day??

For the sake of all you Daddy Morons--I hope that is the case!

135
Best memory of my dad? About twenty years ago our drunken redneck across the street neighbor challenged him to a fight after he called him out about whistling at my mother who was carrying groceries into the house wearing short -shorts.

Neighbor:

" I'll come over der an' kick yer' ass you old fuck"

Dad:

"Sweet. I have a little dog called a .357 and I'm gonna let her bark at ya' a few times."

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 07:05 PM (t72+4)

About 25 or so years ago there was this disheveled guy in a beat up old car cruising our little subdevelopment for a couple of weeks. Dad asked all the neighbors if they knew him. They all said no. The cops said they really couldn't do anything about it, either.

So one day my dad walked up to the car one day and told the driver "If I ever see you again you'll be a better man than me because you'll have stopped a 30.30."

Never saw the guy again after that.

136 My wife said do you want to order Thai out tonight for Fathers Day or grill flank steak. I said "Thai", she said ""Thai is too fattening and I'm on a diet. Let's have flank steak." My kids got me nothing--no card, no gift. My wife bought me a wine cooling cabinet that matches the new stainless steel kitche I gave her for mothers day. I drink whisky. She drinks wine. I'm getting a mistress this year.

137

So is today Steak & BJ Part Deux Day??

For the sake of all you Daddy Morons--I hope that is the case!

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 20, 2010 08:26 PM (pW0dS)

You offering ?

138

It's all good. My stupid shit has left me with no place w/o a scar to get a tattoo. Keep in mind I accidentally stabbed myself in the ASS with a stilletto 2 months ago. 5 stitches from a Doc who couldn't stop laughing.

I'm a fucking moron. Put I've got some kick ass stories!

139 No worries Hutch...

140 #151 ewww, on the part of both of you!

141 #151 ewww, on the part of both of you!

Posted by: Kratos (missing from the side of Mt Olympus) at June 20, 2010 08:29 PM (c0A3e)

Screw you Krat, I was talking about the juicy steak not the gum job.

142 My son cooked me a huge ribeye and I fixed his lawnmower.

143 Im back, did you miss me?

144 #155  Screw you Krat, I was talking about the juicy steak not the gum job.

Ah, my mistake. 

My stepfather got the steak part today.

145

Blazer, He likely miss's the times He couldn't be around and missed alot of the fun.

My husband is a much better father to the new grandbabies than he was to his own: mellowing, realistic hopes , patience, stress from being main provider, now he can relax more and enjoy .

I'm likely a better grandmother than a mother, i can send them back when i'm tired : }

of course as we had 5

146

You offering ?

Errr, no. I was just pointing out that Mommy's should step up to the plate tonight and perform their wifely duties.

147

Hutch, glad to hear of your recovering.and

no running with scissors!

148 Everbody goes down eventually.

I did last fall, for the first time. Escaped with some road rash and a broken arm. I was a little timid when I first rode again this Spring, but it's all good now.

149 I'm getting a mistress this year.

Well, Happy Father's Day, ya poor bastard.  Here's hoping it gets better from here on out...

150

My stepfather got the steak part today.

Hahaha! Don't worry, I got ya covered.

Go back and read--notice I said "morons". I excluded Moron's (and 'ettes) Dads. Creepy!

151

Damnit. I forgot about Steak & BJ Day! Mrs hutch and the boys left for Grey Wolf Lodge a little bit ago for an overnighter. Does this day offer a "raincheck"?

"Come on boys, we'll leave dad a little solitude...." Sounded like a good plan. Damn. Damn. Damn.

152 Soap MacTavish ...Glad to hear you're OK. And proud of you for getting back up. That's what seperates people.

153 I had a close encounter with an old fart in a '73 LTD 20-odd years ago...  lucky for me it was at low speed, -20mph, and I know how to take a fall, so it just cost me a 1100 Maxim and a month and a half in a cast to the knee.

154

I'm getting a mistress this year.

You're the male version of this.

Hope you two can work it out.

155

I have never heard of a stiletto in the ass cheek before. I, myself, am a genius, who stuck a pair of scissors in my own arm, and got some questioning looks at the ER. Stone cold sober, just in a hurry to open a box.

 

156

Blazer, He likely miss's the times He couldn't be around and missed alot of the fun.

My husband is a much better father to the new grandbabies than he was to his own: mellowing, realistic hopes , patience, stress from being main provider, now he can relax more and enjoy .

I'm likely a better grandmother than a mother, i can send them back when i'm tired : }

of course as we had 5

Posted by: willow at June 20, 2010 08:32 PM (HyUIR)

My grandparents raised us, him the Sailor and she the Marine. My parents back then were the poster children of the libtard Woodstock pukes.

Here's the pic I put up at the Yahoo site. He;' the guy standing directly beneath the 4 on the Lib and I'm proud to say he was more my dad than his son was.

157 Thanks, hutch. I just enjoy it way too much to call it quits. Same with you, obviously.

158 He's a handsome man. You are fortunate to have him.

159
Posted by: hutch1200 at June 20, 2010 08:29 PM (My4Ze)

I saw a guy with a bandaged ass on The People of Wal-Mart the other day.

It makes sense now.

160 I was remiss in not wishing all Moron Dads a happy, happy. Sure do miss mine.

161 Stone cold sober, just in a hurry .....That's the part that sux.

162

"Happy Father's Day to all dads who can't be with their kids today because they're serving in uniform overseas, or because they're on duty today as cops, fire fighters, or emergency medical workers. These guys deserve a "well done!" too."

So do the dads who are just working regular old non-uniformed jobs.  As Chris Rock said, they work hard to keep the lights on, a roof over everyone's head, and the refrigerator full, and all they get in exchange is the big piece of chicken at dinner.

163 I love that pic, Blazer.

164

Like My Dad Allways Said. Helocopters, Motorcycles, and Chainsaws.

Its Just A Matter of Time.

165
He's a handsome man. You are fortunate to have him.

Posted by: willow at June 20, 2010 08:43 PM (HyUIR)

Thanks, just a simple Ohio farm boy that had to do what he had to do, he never really talked about it. Alan C. Carey mentioned him a few times in his books. Seems the old man was quite an artist with the twin .50's from his spot in the ball turret.

166 I was just bone tired when I hit pavement on mine. I'd been riding all day on a roadie and failed to see some gravel on a turn. Up one second, down the next. Needless to say, I take more frequent and longer breaks now. Live & learn, I guess.

167

My dad was a rough and tumble redneck Ohio Georgia guy that drove a truck for a living. He was pretty much not there when we were growing up, but he has made up for it later in life with his grandkids and I love him for that,.

Posted by: Blazer at June 20, 2010 08:26 PM (t72+4)

but he rode his Grandkids and myself around the United States looking at it through the picture window of a Peterbilt.... hes the reason my son, brother and his sons, and myself can drive from Atlanta to anywhere without a map.

his rule was........... you cant ride with me until you stop wearing diapers..... after that it was on to anywhere.

168

My dad passed when I was a kid....

...we had the missus' dad over today..and we're afraid it might be the last Dad's Day with him.....it was special

Sorry to do this...but prepare to be pissed off at this...very pissed

 

169

Your grandfather was a handsome man, Blazer. A real hottie. So young in that picture, too.

I would've looked twice (or more) if we were the same generation.

170

bandaged ass on The People of Wal-Mart ...

I hid mine well. Of course carrying a pillow to an AA meeting sucked!

171 never been in jail in his life Some of us been in jail on two continents

172 lacyunderalls If that short video was aimed at discouraging me.... Wel,,, Fail... But I like your name... 'Lacyunderalls" Tell me more about yourself.

173
I love that pic, Blazer.

Posted by: laceyunderalls at June 20, 2010 08:46 PM (pW0dS)

Thanks, not only do I consider him my dad, he's also who I aspire to be every single day of my life. He was a beautiful and loving man.

174

Some of us been in jail on two continents

Does an island count?

175 @18: "I'm pretty sure I'm a better father than DiT because I'm not raising my kids up to be Cowboys fans.

Good call.  What father would want his kid to be the biggest douche at the sports bar."

---------------------

AHEM!

176

Sorry to do this...but prepare to be pissed off at this...very pissed

Posted by: beedubya at June 20, 2010 08:50 PM (AnTyA)

Plain, overt criminality.  Excellent.  He will be much easier to impeach after November than I had thought.  Gross neglect of duty, and the violation of his oath of office, should be reason enough.

Okay - maybe a pipe dream.  But I can't do without a little hope this evening. 

177 Carey?....wow Blazer. Maybe he was a relative of mine? We all have weird assed first names!

178 Stone cold sober, just in a hurry .....That's the part that sux. Posted by: hutch1200

The scissors in the arm/package thing I could buy, but what were you trying to open around your ass w/ a stiletto??

179 Never been in jail? I prefer the term " overnight guest of the mayor".

180

I’ve been thinking about the joys of fatherhood, so I wrote something to help me reflect. I’d like to share it with you. Perhaps you can reflect as well. For moms, simply replace the word “father” with “mother” and the story becomes yours.

If only I had read the book about fatherhood, I would have...
– Known what to expect. Maybe then, I’d have all the right answers at just the right moments!
– Known when to listen, when to speak, when to give my opinion, and when to ask questions.
– Practice what interested the kids more and been more consistent.

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
– Made a few less hard pancakes.
– Tightened a few more bolts myself and hired out less.
– Learned how to balance the art of listening and the desire to solve. Too often I’ve told my children exactly the “right” answer before they’ve finished telling me their problem.

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
– Known that when a child speaks, it’s time to listen. That’s EVEN if a game is on, if I’m tired after a long day, or if tomorrow would have been a better day to talk.
– Known to treasure the special moments of laughing, wrestling, and telling silly stories.

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
– Known in advance that it takes about 35 minutes to clean silly putty off the floor, about 45 minutes to get crayon marks off the wall, and about a week to get expert help if the two are combined with paint.
– Known what to do when the diapers ran out in the middle of a park on a beautiful summer day. Time management skills, perseverance, and a little luck couldn’t necessarily carry me through this one.
– Known though that a smile ALWAYS helps.

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
Surely known to get less sleep, spend more time with my spouse discussing consistent parenting strategies, and then – armed together with such strategies – faced the morning with vigor. (At least through breakfast, anyway!)
Speaking of breakfast: If I had read the book, I would have Â…
Known that you make sure the entire family eats your specialty dish, despite protests and questions like: “What IS that?”

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
– Known to stay awake at Monday night scout meetings and Saturday morning soccer practice.
– Known to share the Gerber bananas a little bit more with the rest of the family.

If I had read the book, I would have Â…
– Known that children might listen to the words, but they pay more attention to your actions.
– Known that it’s a good thing to share your hopes and dreams with your kids because it helps them develop their own.
And right now Â…
If I could, for just a moment, leap forward in time, say 40 years.. I would rock back and forth in my rocking chair. What would I know about fatherhood? Well IÂ’d know that fatherhood is both an accomplishment and a process. I donÂ’t remember much about the long days at the office, the mounds of paperwork, and the long business trips. I do remember the trips to the ice cream shop, the soccer games, the birthday parties, and the baby formula stain on my clean shirt during the ever-so-important presentation.

So maybe if I had read the book, I would have Â…
Been smarter, and been prepared with all the right moves at all the right times. I would have been calm or stern, whenever required. Perhaps. But I probably wouldnÂ’t have enjoyed myself quite as much.

If I had read the book Â…
I might have missed the point that fatherhood is not something that can be acted, rehearsed, or imagined. It must be experienced each and every moment of each and every day. I might have missed all the cuddles, all the smiles, and the chance to share with you what I know about the joys of fatherhood!

181

beedubya, sorry for you loss, glad you spent meaningful time  with fil

about immigration, yes we've been raging on it off and on all day.

 

Soap. ouch! full recovery i hope.

182 Carey?....wow Blazer. Maybe he was a relative of mine? We all have weird assed first names!

Posted by: hutch1200 at June 20, 2010 08:53 PM (My4Ze)

Yea, he is mentioned frequently in "They Flew Alone". He single handedly shot up the crew and brought down a Japanese Betty that was carrying a famous and high powered Japanese General.

183 I bought a stilletto w/a "safety on it. Most you push open, pul closed. This one you needed both hands, to push a safety button I was jamming it in my back pocket. Gave it to a guy I hate.

184 Blazer..... was that from the korean war?

185
Blazer..... was that from the korean war?

Posted by: Racefan at June 20, 2010 09:01 PM (3/mFd)

No, the Pacific Theatre during WW II.

186 ouch! full recovery i hope.

Yes, thanks willow. The arm doesn't work quite as well as it used to, but it'll do in a pinch.

187 ok. kinda hard to tell...........  my dad was in korea for 3 years. he must have been a little younger than your dad..

188

The arm doesn't work quite as well as it used to, but it'll do in a pinch.
Am I missing a joke in there?. Not bustin' ass here. Pinch..arm not working right....

Ok, I'm slow!

189

Looks like the rat is going to jump ship..

....actually this asshole is a rat/snake/weasel/snake/jackass hybrid

190

Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff, is expected to leave his job later this year after growing tired of the “idealism” of Barack Obama’s inner circle.

Washington insiders say he will quit within six to eight months in frustration at their unwillingness to “bang heads together” to get policy pushed through

@HA

191 It was my customary lame attempt at off-handed humor, hutch.

192

Washington insiders say he will quit within six to eight months in frustration at their unwillingness to “bang heads together” to get policy pushed through

@HA

Posted by: willow at June 20, 2010 09:10 PM (HyUIR)

Or storm the showers!

193
The other thing is I never once heard about the exploits of my grandfather concerning the Japanese during the war from him, just from books. He really loved the Japanese people, he traveled extensively to Japan after the war during his time as a CEO with Ethyl Corp. and he counted amongst his friends a lot of Japanese people he helpd to rebuild and better.

Tom Hanks can go suck a cock.

194 Racefan stands up all proud for his dad. Tank driver. Silver Star winner.... Fuck, i miss that old guy.................

195

UPDATE: PA Cat makes a very relevant post. Not all dads can be with their kids today. God bless em.

Happy Father's Day to all dads who can't be with their kids today because they're serving in uniform overseas, or because they're on duty today as cops, fire fighters, or emergency medical workers. These guys deserve a "well done!" too.
As much as I respect these professions, it is trite that only these are singled out, there are plenty of dads out there doing what they have to do that deserve our support.  Good going dads.

196

The 'Rahm is stepping down' rumor is getting so old.

Just do it already, Tiny Dancer!

197 Happy Fathers' Day to all the Moron Dads. And big ol' Texas Moron Dad shout out to Dave in Texas. I still think about the comment you left on my FB page a few weeks ago. I know from that remark alone two things: 1) Your Dad is a helluva man and 2) Your daughters have a pretty good old man, too.

198 Soap brings teh dubel phunny. +2

199

Yeah, my Dad was a veteran of the Pacific war.  Never talked about it much, except he got sore when we were picky about dinner, because of a lot of things he saw.  He's been gone 33 years last week, and there isn't hardly a day in the last 33 years I haven't thought about him.

It's hard to believe that my wife's Dad has been gone 17 years, even though he was a pretty lousy father at times.

This evening I played catch with my sons in the back yard. It felt a little like a scene out of "Field of Dreams".

We drove home today with the older son's first car, handed down by his daffy old grandmother (my wife's mom).  He drove it home from the wilds of Northern Ohio, and he was pretty excited.

Yeah, it was a pretty good day.  The best I've had in a long time.

200 Rahm's been reading the internal polls. He wants to get out and establish residency in a no-extradition country before November.

201 Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.  I miss mine and can't wait to see him in ten days.

202 Now we're getting machine shop spam?  What a manly blog, for manly men!

203 I love father's day.

204

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